How to make my husband want me again

[m1lktea]

My husband is still extremely affectionate towards me and all BUT, the sex is still non-existent. I cannot figure out the problem! We can go for months without sex. He always says, "Wo xin you yu, er li bu zhu" What kinda excuse is that??? :confused: Can any married men here tell me what exactly is it you guys are looking for when it comes to sex with your wives? I'm not fat nor ugly. I'm tired of asking :mad:

[LostALau]

My husband is still extremely affectionate towards me and all BUT, the sex is still non-existent. I cannot figure out the problem! We can go for months without sex. He always says, "Wo xin you yu, er li bu zhu" What kinda excuse is that??? :confused: Can any married men here tell me what exactly is it you guys are looking for when it comes to sex with your wives? I'm not fat nor ugly. I'm tired of asking :mad:

If your husband is telling the truth by saying 'Wo xin you yu, er li bu zhu' he may be having an erectile dysfunction problem, meaning weak erection.

If that is the reason, you can brew some herbal tonic for him to help boost his libido. If the cause is mental stress, advise him to destress and relax.

Try finding out what is really troubling him then come back for more advice.

[girlgirl]

At least you guys are married...

[jasdude]

Looking at it ( GOOD SIDE )

He might be stress out with work ! Coming home to a warm hug a clean house a warm meal after a days work can go real far in a man's heart . Plan a holiday this CNY , a short one together . It will help !



Looking at it ( BAD SIDE )

Er................................................ .......................... . Talk to him first .

[Jiminator]

At least you guys are married...


Marriage is easy to get into hard to get out . When problems arise best to talk it out .

[Niceman]

Maybe 2 reasons,

1, taste bug change from milktea to kopi (sorry if I too direct)

2, physical biological issue.

Cheers

[traex]

Talk to him at the right time and place.

ps Don't let him know you posted here.

[pewpew]

Improve ur skill or communicate with him asking him what kinda fetish he likes?

Try wearing some sexy lingerie or cosplay uniform infront of him? Even wearing apron with nothing inside looks hot?

[LostALau]

BUT, the sex is still non-existent. I cannot figure out the problem! We can go for months without sex. He always says, "Wo xin you yu, er li bu zhu" What kinda excuse is that??? :confused: :mad:

Your case also reminds me of many years ago when I did not hv any sex with anybody including my wife for months. I was then so troubled by my financial difficulties and my mind was only occupied with bills... bills... bills.... (not $ bills but PUB, Tel. HDB, IRA etc etc) so no space left for sex. However, my wife did not ask me for sex or the reason.

Is your husband also troubled by financial matters given the present financial crisis?

[Oralcraz]

Only solution is U must find out the true reason. Is it lost of luv, lost of sexual interest, stress, health issue etc. Must understand first then can proceed with remedy.

Good luck:)

[paganwinter]

u need to have a good talk with him loh....u did not give much info... we cant advice much...dont expect him to always have d hots for u loh...it takes much more than just being not fat n ugly....

i have seen wife treat their husband like he is the maid like that..u expect the husband to lust after the wife...some have financial problems still want to nag at him....some fierce like tigress...i wont be surpise his didi strink..:D

times r bad so maybe business not doing well or fear of losing job etc...these can also be d problem...:p

[VanHouten]

He always says, "Wo xin you yu, er li bu zhu" What kinda excuse is that??? :confused: Can any married men here tell me what exactly is it you guys are looking for when it comes to sex with your wives? I'm not fat nor ugly.
I have seen lots of married men became gay. They are gay who get married and have children.

From their outlook, you can't tell the difference. I can say they have interest in men not women anymore.

Threadstarter, worst come to worst, your hubby might be one. If yes, don't be surprised.

* that's my experience, and it worth more than 2 cents.

[stat_79]

may try asking him to see a doc abt his case.... try not to take Viagra it might have side effect... ask doc for prescription :)

[ChuiTaLan]

hmmm...lots of advise from bros here...
but u guys miss out 1 very important question.....

How old r u n ur hubby??? :D

U guys cant expect an old man nearing 70s still can rite?? :D:p

Jokes aside, ask ur hubby wat the bros here had suggested. ;)

[airbrush]

Maybe in the past your husband over do it and now with many other problem around he don't have the mood to do.

You mentioned that U are not fat nor ugly, I think you are beautiful and man get stimulate when he see more beautiful woman and I think maybe he cannot see any more beautiful woman than you so no stimulation.

Many a time man get into mood of having sex when they see a beautiful woman which is more beautiful than the partner. Example watching xxx movies or spot some beautiful girls or crush on some girl when see them.

[Thunder God]

Its basically stress - the "S" word is quite a killer these days. He may be anxious and afraid that is kuku cannot stand and penetrate you. Let him be, if he really cannot marikita, he will definately find his way to a doctor for the magic pill.

[roll3r]

Maybe its the external factors that make him stress....?

You can try new tricks! Pick up a leaf from the kamasutra :)

[LostALau]

hmmm...lots of advise from bros here...
but u guys miss out 1 very important question.....

How old r u n ur hubby??? :D

U guys cant expect an old man nearing 70s still can rite?? :D:p

Jokes aside, ask ur hubby wat the bros here had suggested. ;)

Haha, tat's a good point. Age can play a part although recently an 80-year-old man in Taiwan raped a young gal. Some men can still cheong at age 80 while some as young as 30 something already like overnight yu-tiao liao.

[crazydog_19]

Dear friend,

2 ways of looking at this,

01 = he is stress out by work.

02 = he kana STD, so cannot do.

Best way is to do a little massage here n there, ball massage follow by a BJ.

2 cents worth of thought.

[SharkMan]

My husband is still extremely affectionate towards me and all BUT, the sex is still non-existent. I cannot figure out the problem! We can go for months without sex. He always says, "Wo xin you yu, er li bu zhu" What kinda excuse is that??? :confused: Can any married men here tell me what exactly is it you guys are looking for when it comes to sex with your wives? I'm not fat nor ugly. I'm tired of asking :mad:
Let me be blunt, your husband is either GAY (unlikely) or FUCKING outside (possible?) or STUPID (also possible).

If he has problem with his dick, then do something about it... the government is not going to pass a law to help him with his dick problem... deal with it. Exercise, drink tonic, consult doctor, just fucking do something.

If my wife it pretty and slim and sexy, I'll be fucking her day in day out, unless I'm gay, or fucking outside of marriage. :confused:

[Frankiestine]

My husband is still extremely affectionate towards me and all BUT, the sex is still non-existent. I cannot figure out the problem! We can go for months without sex. He always says, "Wo xin you yu, er li bu zhu" What kinda excuse is that??? :confused: Can any married men here tell me what exactly is it you guys are looking for when it comes to sex with your wives? I'm not fat nor ugly. I'm tired of asking :mad:

well take heart not only wives goes thru such things.....we husband also face this kind of problem...my wife also told me she is not interested in sex..:(:(

[Bronco]

well take heart not only wives goes thru such things.....we husband also face this kind of problem...my wife also told me she is not interested in sex..


bro , same boat...my wife told me doesn't mean married must make love wan..:o

For my case after my 2nd son birth, slowly my sex life become zero..:(

I dun blame her, must thanks her for giving me a chance to have fun from outside..:D

Or else play 1 hole golf forever cos i'm good hubby...hehehehe!!!

[Power-Guy]

Sorry to hear that your husband don't have sex with you. Maybe you need to sit down and have a good talk with your husband. Find out from him, what's went wrong.

Can I ask you how old are both of you? Areyou working too?

[jeremyhui]

u guys wanna try spanish fly? it may help you :)

[Dahu]

In most cases where the fire had died its because of personal hurt.

[peanut123]

At least you guys are married...

But marriage without sex ??? What kind of marriage is that ? (sorry to TS, but that's the truth ). Sex is a basic need, and if your spouse cannot fulfill it, its tough.

At least if you are single, you can still change bf or find a fb without feeling guilty and nobody cares. Try that when u are married, and you get branded an adulteress and a slut.

[geckoSG]

Sis, it could be work stress. And if you are being insensitive to him, it will
cause him to lose interest in you.

My case is, my partner stressed me so much and was very insensitive to me
such that often i would have to work late at night. She did not help me out
with my kid and I have to entertain my poor boy.

At such, such insensitiveness makes me lose interest in her. Unfortunately
for now, my FBs are not able to fulfill my needs as they are in same financial
problem at home as well.

If you are quite guilty of being insensitive to him, then it could be the case.
And if you really needs SEX, go look for FB bah.

[MantaRay]

well take heart not only wives goes thru such things.....we husband also face this kind of problem...my wife also told me she is not interested in sex..:(:(

Yeah... Agreed with u... am in same situation.. married but no sex and ended up with separation.... *now got to make sure i dun turn gay... hahaha~* :rolleyes:

[m1lktea]

Ok, i can't log in often but here goes.

I'm 25, he's 32. Of cos i've asked him for the real reason and he can only say, "Hai..i really don't know also". Sometimes out of the blue, he will msg me to say he is sorry he cannot satisfy my needs. I'm not expecting any apologies! :confused: We've spoken about this countless times but....end up both of us got nothing left to say.

I noticed that sometimes, he indeed cannot get hard. Looks like he is erected but it's not hard enough. I've asked if he faces the same kind of situation before with his ex-gfs and he said with his last ex-gf, yes, sometimes just cannot get hard enough.

Quite a few times, he commented that i'm too wet. So not enough friction for him to climax.

We have no baby...we are holding our customary early next year and he had already told me he wants to try for a baby a few months before our customary because he doesn't want to wait anymore. I'm sort of like getting mixed signals :confused: Want to do it, don't want to do it? Don't tell me must wait until he wants to try for a baby then willing to do??!

Or does he just belong to the type who needs ALOT of stimulation of all sorts. And i'm sorry to say, i've rejected his advances a few times in the past because his breath smells. Told him to brush his teeth but he just don't want/remember/willing to. The last time he asked for sex...i cannot even remember. Haiz.

[y7u8i9o0]

I think most of the bros here already pointed out some reasons...

1. Stress - guys often stress about 2 main things - $$$ and women
2. STD - he may hv some illness and do not want to pass it on to u
3. ED - see doctor early
4. Gay - possible?

now, allow me to put it bluntly. Some women chose and lived in denial. They think that they are beautiful and attractive...but sadly, they are not. That's what they thought, but until u get into the mind of ur husband...you wouldnt know exactly whats wrong.

for example, when i tell my wife that she needs to cut down weight, dress better, try new things etc she thinks I'm picking on her. She rather asks her so call girlfriends for useless opinions - most of which are white lies meant to comfort her. Sometimes, its better to face the truth and come to terms about it.

Do some reflections and see if the problems really lies with you.

[Castrol]

My husband is still extremely affectionate towards me and all BUT, the sex is still non-existent.

just arrange a session for him with sherine and he will be back to normal lah. :D

[Storm_Sucker]

Hmm.. unlikely that he cannot STAND according to what he trying to hint. That is a man's pride..
Man will suffer in slient than spell it out
No matter what, talk to him

[LostALau]

Let me be blunt, your husband is either GAY (unlikely) or FUCKING outside (possible?) or STUPID (also possible).

If he has problem with his dick, then do something about it... the government is not going to pass a law to help him with his dick problem... deal with it. Exercise, drink tonic, consult doctor, just fucking do something.

If my wife it pretty and slim and sexy, I'll be fucking her day in day out, unless I'm gay, or fucking outside of marriage. :confused:

Bro, 'fucking outside of marriage' does not mean not fucking inside.
While we men like to try outside 'food' once a while, we must also not neglect eating healthy 'food' at home. If you neglect your wifey's 'cooking', be careful she starts 'cooking' for other man. Then you will have a new 'brother' in your family. :eek:

[viewsonic]

Helloooooo

the thread starter might had already went back to his school to submit it year end assessment...

[nacho]

At least you guys are married...

Interesting comment care to elaborate ....... ;)

[y7u8i9o0]

While we men like to try outside 'food' once a while, we must also not neglect eating healthy 'food' at home. If you neglect your wifey's 'cooking', be careful she starts 'cooking' for other man. Then you will have a new 'brother' in your family. :eek:[/QUOTE]

Thanks for the advice Bro. Will try my best to appease the CO at home...but u know, sometimes...cant help it but to compare outside food with home cook meals. Sigh...a lot of difference when CO refuse to cook good dishes.

[m1lktea]

Helloooooo

the thread starter might had already went back to his school to submit it year end assessment...

I need to work you know? Have got a life outside ya? I'm not like some people who can log in so frequently.

To the rest of the bros & those who PMed me, thanks for your suggestions...most of them i've tried, some i haven't so i will work towards that. It's not easy to break down his 'walls' but i will try. But i cannot be pushing the issue as i don't wish to stress him because of this...

I'm not in self-denial. I'm not saying i'm gorgeous or sexy. I'm not a man, i don't know how men think so i'm just trying to consider the possibilities. If my husband asks me to lose weight and dress better, i WILL definitely take the hint. If my own husband hiam my figure and dressing, then it's a big warning sign isn't it?? Not ALL wives/women think/act alike. I'm really at a loss about this, that's why i've registered and posted my problem here, hoping someone can shed abit of light on my situation because i can NEVER and WILL NOT talk to my girlfriends about this.

I thank all the bros here...some have pointed out stuff i've never considered before. I love my husband very much and the last thing i want to do, is hurt his pride or add pressure. I've tried being frank about this but he just buries his head in my neck and grunts. Overtime, not talking about the matter is somehow easier than trying to face the problem. I'm tired but i know this is harder on him than me.

[LostALau]

While we men like to try outside 'food' once a while, we must also not neglect eating healthy 'food' at home. If you neglect your wifey's 'cooking', be careful she starts 'cooking' for other man. Then you will have a new 'brother' in your family. :eek:

Thanks for the advice Bro. Will try my best to appease the CO at home...but u know, sometimes...cant help it but to compare outside food with home cook meals. Sigh...a lot of difference when CO refuse to cook good dishes.[/QUOTE]

Since we have engaged them and signed a life long contract, no choice lor. Still have to eat what they offer once a while even not as good as outside cooking. If want to try outside food, dont let them know in order not to hurt their pride. Must strike a balance in life to make everyone happy :D

[williamsF1]

........Can any married men here tell me what exactly is it you guys are looking for when it comes to sex with your wives? I'm not fat nor ugly. I'm tired of asking :mad: no urge has many reasons, but for typical sgporean is mostly due to stress. man will never become tarzan in bed, unless he is free of any stress.

another reason for lowered libido is also due to lethargy & poor physical health. if your man is active in sports or energetic, then he is more likely to perform better in bed.

as his wife, u should also try to pamper him more, make him feel comforted & rewarded of his efforts. when he feels appreciated, maybe he will also loosen up.

my OC is supportive of me doing sports, sometimes she bring a book along to read, when i have soccer session with my buddies. sometimes she goes to the gym with my buddies wives, while waiting for us to finish our match, sometimes we go for a swim etc. we do a lot of activities together. i think the togetherness helps with the sexlife too.

[Oralcraz]

After reading yr 2 post (yesterday 10.54,today 11.16), I think two possible problems.

1) Purely health reasons. Must consult doctor.
2) Psychological (mindset). i.e. he may have lose interest in u already.....sorry.
The latter being more likely.

[williamsF1]

......... I noticed that sometimes, he indeed cannot get hard. Looks like he is erected but it's not hard enough. I've asked if he faces the same kind of situation before with his ex-gfs and he said with his last ex-gf, yes, sometimes just cannot get hard enough.

Quite a few times, he commented that i'm too wet. So not enough friction for him to climax. hard bt not hard enough, means he's physically responding, bt the mind is somewhere else. if he is equally starved of sex for as long as u have been, his tool would have been rock solid in dbl quick time. wet or nt wet is no longer the issue, in fact, u'd be thanking your maker that u're well lubricated to receive his pounding.

..... I'm sort of like getting mixed signals :confused: Want to do it, don't want to do it? Don't tell me must wait until he wants to try for a baby then willing to do??!

Or does he just belong to the type who needs ALOT of stimulation of all sorts. And i'm sorry to say, i've rejected his advances a few times in the past because his breath smells. Told him to brush his teeth but he just don't want/remember/willing to. The last time he asked for sex...i cannot even remember. Haiz. suggestion for stimulation, send mushy/ suggestive sms once in few hrs to set him in the mood, lead him on for a day to 2. when the time is right, he'd be begging for it, or he'd be on the verge of raping u.

bad breath, make him pop breath mints at all times, shower/ bathe together, make him use mouth rinse, brush his teeth for him........... when he feel like a king, maybe his cock also stiff as a lance

[_AXL_]

I love my husband very much and the last thing i want to do, is hurt his pride or add pressure. I've tried being frank about this but he just buries his head in my neck and grunts. Overtime, not talking about the matter is somehow easier than trying to face the problem. I'm tired but i know this is harder on him than me.

an out-of-this world BBBJ without any hope of reciprocation would do the trick. my wife did this, my SPAWN armour came down and i blurted out everything voluntarily. do u love him enough???

[viewsonic]

[QUOTE=m1lktea;3366537]I need to work you know? Have got a life outside ya? I'm not like some people who can log in so frequently.
*******

Good day m1ktea,

Well, u can't really blame me, seem after your first post on 01/01/09, u didn't reply and post your 2nd post.....

Moreover your account was just created on Dec08....

[beachboii]

Conclusion ...There are a few reason why a guy cannot erect .
1. Stress - guys often stress about 2 main things - $$$ and women
2. STD - he may hv some illness and do not want to pass it on to u
3. ED - see doctor early
4. Gay - possible?
5. He doesn't like the smell of partner -Breath, pussy
6. He doesn;t like the smell of the pussy, shape of the pussy , pussy too wet or too dry etc etc ..

[m1lktea]

WilliamsF1, thanks...some valid points there.

I agree stress could be it....Or it's just me. Bad breath, not gentle enough, not alluring enough etc...I'll really self-reflect instead of focusing the Why on him. He's fit but not healthy. His main exercise can say it's mahjong.

Viewsonic, ok i'm really sorry, i shouldn't be taking this out on you. I understand how some can mistake me for a fake. Also, i realised my replies don't appear immediately...take some time, a couple of hours. Maybe my replies are moderated since i'm new....

[poorman4sex]

Conclusion ...There are a few reason why a guy cannot erect .
1. Stress - guys often stress about 2 main things - $$$ and women
2. STD - he may hv some illness and do not want to pass it on to u
3. ED - see doctor early
4. Gay - possible?
5. He doesn't like the smell of partner -Breath, pussy
6. He doesn;t like the smell of the pussy, shape of the pussy , pussy too wet or too dry etc etc ..

you miss out something......

7. he got no interest in you anymore

[Frankiestine]

Bro, 'fucking outside of marriage' does not mean not fucking inside.
While we men like to try outside 'food' once a while, we must also not neglect eating healthy 'food' at home. If you neglect your wifey's 'cooking', be careful she starts 'cooking' for other man. Then you will have a new 'brother' in your family. :eek:

but my wife neglect to cook home food so i have to constantly ta bao...:D

[Sebastian Crab]

Well as a guy I would love to wake up with morning blowjob. Give it a try and let us know what happens. Alternatively bathing together in the bathtub with lots of bubbles may help spark off something. Best of luck.

[elep7]

Sis, make him some chinese tonic, let it boost his confidence. Add oil.

[analog]

My husband is still extremely affectionate towards me and all BUT, the sex is still non-existent. I cannot figure out the problem! We can go for months without sex. He always says, "Wo xin you yu, er li bu zhu" What kinda excuse is that??? :confused: Can any married men here tell me what exactly is it you guys are looking for when it comes to sex with your wives? I'm not fat nor ugly. I'm tired of asking :mad:
Hey Sis:

Empathize completely...
We have to get your hub and my wife together, they'd get along smashingly.
For those of us that would like sex on a regular basis, maybe we should get together?

Sigh.
Jim

[Waxer]

Maybe he is tired of doing the same thing. Maybe going under the scalpel will help.

[sleaguepunter]

I agree stress could be it....Or it's just me. Bad breath, not gentle enough, not alluring enough etc...I'll really self-reflect instead of focusing the Why on him. He's fit but not healthy. His main exercise can say it's mahjong.

Can see from your post that u complain about his bad breath. This a sign that his health is not as good as u think. Normally a healthy person should not have bad breath, internally parts maybe "rosak", better get him to a checkup as it could be part of the reason why he cannot be "rock solid".

As for he claim he cannot feel any "friction", maybe due to his didi not hard enough. You should spend more time and effort to get it hard or even try the durex rip condom which bring stimulation to both.;)

[paganwinter]

Bro, 'fucking outside of marriage' does not mean not fucking inside.
While we men like to try outside 'food' once a while, we must also not neglect eating healthy 'food' at home. If you neglect your wifey's 'cooking', be careful she starts 'cooking' for other man. Then you will have a new 'brother' in your family. :eek:

i agree:D....eat at home to satisfy....snack outside for enjoyment...

[geckoSG]

Sis, the skill also plays a part, especially foreplay. My CO can't do a good
HJ or BJ, very mechanical types.

Whereas, my FBs, are really very very skilled. You may wanna "polish" up
your foreplay skills to arouse him, a good handjob and blowjob teasing will
get the guy hard very easily of cos with a bit of dressing up also...

Good luck!

[Dahu]

Sis, the skill also plays a part, especially foreplay. My CO can't do a good
HJ or BJ, very mechanical types.

Whereas, my FBs, are really very very skilled. You may wanna "polish" up
your foreplay skills to arouse him, a good handjob and blowjob teasing will
get the guy hard very easily of cos with a bit of dressing up also...

Good luck!

Hahaha! Dress your cavity with something delectable so that he will slurp and slurp.

[Fusion]

Hi Sis M1lktea,

If you are 25 and he is 32 and you have not go thru' customary marriage
and he is having problem satisfying you.
You should seriously think about ending this marriage.
Just think when you are 35 and he is 42 or when you are 45 and he is 52.
The problem will nor go away.... It will become more serious.

Your posting here shows you are quite liber and open minded.
Eventually you will go and find some FB.

Is that what you want?

Regardless of the reasons, if you don't turn him on ... Then find someone who is
turn on by you.
If he has a problem.... Do you want to live with his problem.
I know it is bad to leave him but what is marriage without sex especially
when you are so young. If you are 40 or 50... It is okay.
You have a long way to go.... Don't go out and find FB.... That should be your
last resort. Find someone who love you both sexually and mentally and you love
Both way.

Even if he is a millionaire, it is worth it... To keep the marriage without sex.

You can try all other method suggest by all bros, but when it do not work,
you have to think seriously for long term.

Try see porns together with him.... Try to bring in new gal for him...
If he can fuck other gal but you.... Leave him.
If he cannot even fuck another beautiful gal ... Leave him... He has a problem
and it better that become someone else problem than yours.

Sorry for my bluntness. Don't zap me for telling the truth.

[riowilly]

Hi Sis

there is a few things that may be able improve your situation.
1) Appreance wise
2) your skill and fore play
3) sleep early
4) massage him and may arouse him
5) let him eat high protein food like beef, chicken breast meat, ive experience when i was oversea eating meat every meal. It really produce alot of Sperm and have to let go almost everyday.

Have a good SEX!!

[m1lktea]

Sebastian Crab, morning BJ is a good idea...i will try. Actually, his ex-gfs all refuse to do BJ on him. I'm the first one...and at first, he doesn't like it, finds it ticklish. After some time, things got much better...I also swallowed a few times because he never tried before with his ex-gfs but it came to a point where he kept asking for it unless i really turned off.

Sleaguepunter, getting him to see a doctor is like asking him to give birth ie. impossible....but again, yes i will try...just keep trying...

geckoSG, you have a point. Maybe my BJ skills suck.

Fushion, we are married...ROMed for 4 years already. We are only having the customary dinner because my husband and my mother-in-law want it. I initially not interested because my side of the family is very small and i'm not the kind who have ALOT of friends, just a few close ones. And it's actually a waste of money. Sex was not so jialat all the way...sometimes good, sometimes not good. Now, it's i don't even have the chance to say good or not good.

Riowilly...i agree sleep early is one of the factors that can improve sex. How to say....I'm the kind who sleeps very early. He sleeps very late, like 3am. Weekends, i wake up earlier, he sleeps until late afternoon. We don't even go to the bed at the same time...Maybe twice a month? I've given up trying to stay up late...no matter how late i stay up, he just don't sleep at the same time as me....

[viewsonic]

Should never consider ending the marriage.

Your hubby might be in some form of trouble and as most of us had suggested, have a heart to heart talk with him.

I always told my wife how much i love her, and i looking forward to spend my rest of my life with her, if u're in trouble, do share with me. I will assist u in all ways.

Ended out all small small things, she also tell me which sometimes really stress me out. kekeke.

And why not consider a short holiday trip if $$ is not a problem, just u and him. And let him choose the place, he want to go.

And as mention by riowilly, massage your hubby. I really like it when my wife slowly move her light touch hand from my leg to my groin area during her massage.

[Asianguy]

Sis,

You may want to go read this book. It is not a book about religion. It may not have all the answers. But it gets us thinking about life differently. Again, it is not a religious book although the title sounds very religious.

The book is titled 'Conversations with God'. There is 3 books altogether. Get Book One.

[aczeta76]

Sebastian Crab, morning BJ is a good idea...i will try. Actually, his ex-gfs all refuse to do BJ on him. I'm the first one...and at first, he doesn't like it, finds it ticklish. After some time, things got much better...I also swallowed a few times because he never tried before with his ex-gfs but it came to a point where he kept asking for it unless i really turned off.

Sleaguepunter, getting him to see a doctor is like asking him to give birth ie. impossible....but again, yes i will try...just keep trying...

geckoSG, you have a point. Maybe my BJ skills suck.

Fushion, we are married...ROMed for 4 years already. We are only having the customary dinner because my husband and my mother-in-law want it. I initially not interested because my side of the family is very small and i'm not the kind who have ALOT of friends, just a few close ones. And it's actually a waste of money. Sex was not so jialat all the way...sometimes good, sometimes not good. Now, it's i don't even have the chance to say good or not good.

Riowilly...i agree sleep early is one of the factors that can improve sex. How to say....I'm the kind who sleeps very early. He sleeps very late, like 3am. Weekends, i wake up earlier, he sleeps until late afternoon. We don't even go to the bed at the same time...Maybe twice a month? I've given up trying to stay up late...no matter how late i stay up, he just don't sleep at the same time as me....

Try to give him a body rub early morning during weekends loh... sure to wake him up... when he is partially awake then u go down for the BJ... sure shiok, else skali he sleep through it or tot it was wet dream..

[michaelrocksam]

Sister GUNI TEH,

from replies that you talk about his lifestyle. I gather about his condition

1. His health is not as good as you think he is. Possibilities about your hubby erectile dysfunction is related very weak kidneys, liver and stomach. He always feels tired. Get him to see a good chinese sinseh.

2. If he drinks, tell him to stop drinking. Possibility his liver is already toxic. He needs to detox.

3. Once detox, he can take lingzhi and he shuo wu drink for a few weeks.

4. He should not staying up late and rest early, body repairs itself from 10 pm to 2 am. Thats why ppl call it beauty sleep.

Also the way i see it in the long term like many bros has already pointed out your relationship is going no where. If this is the way to go in your so call marriage, it is better to evaluate what is the best for the both of you. Know when to cut loss.

[m1lktea]

Thanks everyone...

It's been a fruitful week...rather 'eye-opening' for me. I'm not sure how the future will be like. But as at now, i will not give up on this marriage. I truly believe i need to give him time...i must be patient...

Hope i can post some positive news here after some time...

[aczeta76]

Thanks everyone...

It's been a fruitful week...rather 'eye-opening' for me. I'm not sure how the future will be like. But as at now, i will not give up on this marriage. I truly believe i need to give him time...i must be patient...

Hope i can post some positive news here after some time...

Rite on sis..

You hang in there.. Hope things work out and if you ever need a sounding board, we are here..

[tattybear]

Marriage is easy to get into hard to get out . When problems arise best to talk it out .

it s easy to get out. But can u bear to leave ur partner? its all abt "kan qing"

[williamsF1]

WilliamsF1, thanks...some valid points there.

I agree stress could be it....Or it's just me. Bad breath, not gentle enough, not alluring enough etc...I'll really self-reflect instead of focusing the Why on him. He's fit but not healthy. His main exercise can say it's mahjong. main exercise is mahjong? tough egg to crack, i think. if he's superstitious, sex is a big no no when his money is on the table. maybe, u should get him into the habit of receiving blowjobs in the mornings, after he wake up from his slumber. when his engine is started, very soon he may look fwd to more than just blowjobs from u.

join him in the shower is also another way of waking his sexual appetite.

[yang punk]

Dear TS

Do you know why he is sleeping so late? Is he trying to avoid you? Is he doing his work which he cannot finish in the office or is he just on the pc surfing sb perhaps or flirting with some other char bors on the net?

Sometimes love can fade, feelings can change, such that he just can't bear to make love to you? But because of family...traditions...whatever...since he already rom with you he has no choice but to stick with you.

Sorry to be so brutally frank, cos I know how it feels like to be in this situation. Better to have a frank talk with him and trash out the problems. A whole lifetime of being in an unloved relationship is going to be very miserable indeed. It is something I will not wish for even my enemies!

Better to divorce now whilst you are still young and eligible for a second chance in love than to drag on and live in misery...

Sorry that is just my 2 cents worth...

[pewpew]

Just fyi, there are some friends of mine who love their family but due to their partner being a dead-fish and not interested in sex, they find FB and thats the reason why FB exist.

Just remember whatever u do outside, keep it discreet and also DO NOT RAWR unless u are with a safe FB n someone whom u can trust.

[m1lktea]

Thanks everyone...am disappointed today. He promised me something last night but now, right at this moment, he is already sleeping the sofa. And he hasn't even bathed.

He sleeps late because that's just the way he is. His whole family is like this. Ever since i've known him, he is like this already. He just cannot sleep before 1am. He tried many many times to turn in with me but he will always wake up after i fall asleep to watch tv or play online football game because he feels very xin ku.

Our relationship is not an unloved one. If it's an unloved relationship, things would be so much simpler. If he does not love me, i would not feel so confused.

WilliamsF1...i'm still trying to find a chance about the morning-blowjob strategy. He's not superstitious :p At least a piece of good news for me ya?
He showers so fast i threatened to check his little brother for dirt. He takes like 4 minutes to bathe. I've timed it before, it's true...I tried asking for showers with him...but so far, response is not good.

There is no such thing as a safe FB...that's my point of view. Even with a condom, you can still contract sexual diseases.

As a woman, i can't bring myself to have a FB. I respect my body and i expect the man who touches me to respect me too. I will not be able to respect myself if i sleep with a man whom i know is only using me to fulfill his sexual needs even if i myself, maybe just using his body only too. Confusing and illogical i know.

Sorry for the rant....but i feel better now. I just need to let this out.

[White Tiger]

maybe should experiment around with new love-making techniques.

[shanshen]

hi sis

not enough sleep is also a contributing factors..especially if it is a everyday situation.

u mentioned he sleeps aro 3am...what time did he wake up in the morning for work?

what type of work is he doing?

could be he has another lover and was drained in the afternoon..therefore no more energy for u at night...i may want to check on that...

[aczeta76]

As a woman, i can't bring myself to have a FB. I respect my body and i expect the man who touches me to respect me too. I will not be able to respect myself if i sleep with a man whom i know is only using me to fulfill his sexual needs even if i myself, maybe just using his body only too. Confusing and illogical i know.

Sorry for the rant....but i feel better now. I just need to let this out.

Silly girl... sometimes u dun always need SEX for buddies...

U may just need someone who dun really know u in "real-life" i.e. dun know too much about your personal identity to listen to you and talk your way through.

This way, less pressure on you to pretend and worry about tat person leaking your thoughts to others you know.

Kinda like how we sometimes tell our colleagues or MSN friends more than wat we tell our friends in true-life and kinda like how you are doing things in SBF.

U take care.. like I said, u know who u can talk to if you want to..

Contrary to your beliefs, not all bros on SBF are sex-starved and crave after all women...:D

[Oralcraz]

Hi Mi1ktea,
"As a woman, i can't bring myself to have a FB. I respect my body and i expect the man who touches me to respect me too. I will not be able to respect myself if i sleep with a man whom i know is only using me to fulfill his sexual needs even if i myself, maybe just using his body only too. Confusing and illogical i know."

Good.:) In this case, just accept the situation and live life as it is and move on. However, in my years of relationship experience, I felt bizzare. Why would a man married a woman and don't feel like having sex with her:confused:. Very strange. If married, have children, family stress etc can understand but in yr case, strange. There must be a very valid reason; some hidden reason which is not known yet.

Good luck.

[geckoSG]

TS, wish you all the best!

Anyway, an FB may not just be a sexual partner as wat is being related here.
Yes, you have sex with another person, but of cos, there must be a mutual
feel there.

Treat your FB as a friend whom u can talk to. Not all Male FB are desperate.
For me, my current FB, we have not touched each other nor hold hands for
months cos of her problems. We do know how to respect our ladies.

I guess you could have some good soulmate to share your problems. And
of cos, build up a rapport before going physical.

Sorry to say this, but I felt that something is wrong between u and hubby...
Normally no man will reject his wife unless he totally loses interest in his
woman... or worse... gay.... :o

Talk to him about it bah if there is any problem between both of u. We hope
to hear good news from u.

[Niceman]

And he hasn't even bathed.

he will always wake up after i fall asleep to watch tv or play online football game because he feels very xin ku.

He takes like 4 minutes to bathe. I've timed it before, it's true...I tried asking for showers with him...but so far, response is not good.

Hey TS Sis,

I think no problem with your married life lah. From the points above, he simply, maybe hor, not so romantic and sensitive lah. A lot of guys are like that.
Taking such a short time to bath tells that. Without shower together with you, is insensitive. Nothing serious. U choice him, live with it, maybe not those romantic way and togetherness you would like to have.

I like to watch my gf shower, from head to toe, the way she washes her hairs with her eyes closed. I would just watch the water running down every inch of her body. Nothing kinky or pervert. Just love enjoying the moment. Like to watch the way she sleeps also, like a baby.

^_* Cheers

[The Vet]

To all sisters,
If you have lost your husband, so sorry to say that you will never make him want you again. Why should he ? When he has choices out there !
Maybe and unless something drastic happen, otherwise wish you all the bst of luck.

[shaunting77]

yet again...haiz

[m1lktea]

Thanks all, for your comments and suggestions.

I wrote a letter to my husband last night and left it on the coffeetable as he was already asleep on the sofa...He woke me up at 3am and he hugged and apologise to me while crying. He said he was upset and disappointed that i do not want to have a baby and thou he acted nonchalant about my stand, he felt his resentment towards me building day after day, especially when his friends around him all promoted to fathers, to the point that he felt like 'punishing' me for not wanting to bear him a child. He said if i love him enough, why would i not be willing to try. As time passes, he grew 'numb' but he never thought about leaving me, just that he really don't know how to deal with my phobia of having children.

I used to be on the pill because i'm afraid of getting pregnant. He refuses to use a condom. But i've recently stopped the pill. I just never got the chance to tell him partly because he is so busy with work and i'm busy with school.

Right now, i'm not too sure if that's the real or only reason. But i'm working on it...and i hope i can post positive news here soon.

To certain bros here who have given really neat advice, i thank you all :) Hope things will work out....

[kevin3505]

everything ca be settle after a good talk ,try to hv a good talk wit ur husband.and also he is not young anymore ,it's normal that he want a child ,stand in his side and think...........and when u hv a new member in your house,you also will feel very happy.that will be a total different experience.....so wish you all the best lah!

[Niceman]

To certain bros here who have given really neat advice, i thank you all :) Hope things will work out....

TS Sis,

Great... now u know the cause of it. Congrat. Things will work out soon for both of you. Go for a holiday together. :)

[Oralcraz]

Ah........finally, the reason emerge. I am happy for u. Is in yr hands now. Should be easy to resolve. Best Wishes and Bye.

[Real07]

I am also facing the same problem, my wifey also not interested in sex and she always complaint tired???

For me I suggest go for a short trip to let down all these stress, sex mood will utimate come when in holiday mood. :cool:

I got one girlfriend whoes hubby also refuse to ML with her, only lately then realised her hubby dun wan any kid.... *Bangwall

[m1lktea]

Real07, she say tired, actually i can understand.

It's hard to feel the urge after a long day at work. Alot of times, all i want to do after work, is do nothing. And i do realise, the longer i don't do it with my husband, the more i don't feel like it anymore. It's because i know it is not healthy to have a sexless marriage, that's why i started a thread here...not really because i'm dying to do it. My husband finally initiated today. But it was actually quite painful for me...maybe it's because really too long never do already.

I know it sounds crazy but if you help out more with the household chores (if you aren't already doing your share), it might help...Because for me, i have to pick up after my husband and i do feel du lan.

[The Vet]

M1lktea,
Go seek professional counseling ( e.g. counseling and care center)
While it is good to open up and talk here, the wise thing is to seek professional help. You must go there with your husband. All the best.

[michaelrocksam]

sis guni teh,

I dedicate this song to you

YouTube - Herman's Hermits - No milk today (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClQepFF-Sr0&eurl=&feature=player_embedded)

Most sg ladies are du lan with their hubby about not doing housework.

"No milk today, my love has gone away
The bottle stands forlorn, a symbol of the dawn
No milk today, it seems a common sight
But people passing by don't know the reason why"

Ppl passing by and dunno the reason why? u must talk to him if not 2 of you are really going to be just a passer by in each other lives.

I do my own housework as I stay alone, very tiring esp have to work. Can do the house work only on weekends. I have a friend who sweeps her floor only once every 2 weeks as she wear slippers around the house. I thot thats a good way to maximise his time.

As I have a air cleaner to reduce dust at home.

Housework shouldn't be a hindrance to a relationship.

[ch18]

Don't waste time..........

Both ways are the same lah, Husband don't feel like fucking the wife or the wife don't feel like getting fuck.........What the diff???

Just go find someone else lor.........

[m1lktea]

The Vet, not trying to brush your advice off but...do you think i haven't tried asking him to see a doctor with me or go for marriage counselling? I've tried for 2 years. And i'm still trying....i won't give up....

Michaelrocksam, i'm du lan with my husband for not doing his share but i never blame him...i just suan1 him when i feel really frustrated because i can be damn tired from work and school. But i'll still do it because i cannot expect him to change overnight. As long as i don't expect him to help, even if he doesn't help, i will feel okay. So it's about managing our own expectations. I'm just sharing with Real07, that one of the possible reasons maybe because he didn't do his share of the household chores. Women and men think very very differently. We lived together for nearly 3 years but never once did my husband lift a finger to wash toilet. Hard not to feel du lan :)

[michaelrocksam]

sis,

very simple. Dun do any housework for a few weeks and go shopping whole day on the weekend without him or catchup with friends or go do facials, etc ..

These to make yourself look more radiant and fresher and leave the house dirty.

U have to apply reverse psychology. U look good to make things look messy. This is to test him and I understand you cannot bear to do it for long. But u have to try.

If he dun lift a finger after he sees that the house is a mess, then u know whether he bothers to improve things. This will also show how much he really cares.

Finally, make things simple by applying certain tasks to do and only him will hve to do. Dun lift a finger even after u decide to lift the curfew and get back to do housework

[Oralcraz]

To : m1lktea,
Pardon me but I think I sense the minor problem here. It seems that u are overly concern about his behaviour and personality. He on the other hand wanted to start a family. In my 18 years of marriage, I learned one very important point in a relationship; i.e. No relationship is smooth going. Must learn "TO GIVE AND TAKE". See his good points and try very hard to ignore the not so good. Is better that way. Remember, u have chosen him, he chosen u. Fact cannot change. Accomodate and life will be alright.

[m1lktea]

Oralcraz, appreciate your good intentions :)

[BobbyKohPJ]

I used to be on the pill because i'm afraid of getting pregnant. He refuses to use a condom. But i've recently stopped the pill. I just never got the chance to tell him partly because he is so busy with work and i'm busy with school.

Right now, i'm not too sure if that's the real or only reason. But i'm working on it...and i hope i can post positive news here soon.
.u can borrow my mistresses's womb for having a child, she's all to willing to have one and she's young waiting to be implanted/impaled wif a dick as long as there's money on the table!

[aczeta76]

Thanks all, for your comments and suggestions.

To certain bros here who have given really neat advice, i thank you all :) Hope things will work out....

Cool... looks like things are getting a little better for you...

Like I said, impt thing is to talk and not hold things to yourselves and play the guessing game... not healthy at all.

U take care.

[XiaoHoUzi83]

sis at 25 you still have a long way to go.
and rest assure that ur needs will increase when u hit the 30 mark.. and his would surely decrease.
but since ur hubby has already stated the problem...

the next time maybe try to tell him "i want baby" or stuffs that will turn him on loh...
call him by different name everytimes..
make every sexual encounter as unique and as surprising as possible...
so he would be wanting more...

[geckoSG]

Hope things are working out for you SIS! Put in more effort.

If end of it, nothing works out, a FB will definitely help u to
maintain your marriage.

Cos FB will satisfy your sexual needs while the one at home
satisfy your emotional needs...

My two cents worth if nothing works out at the end. But do
hope u work something out with ur hubby. Good luck

[NBL46]

hi,
how's thing for u n husband any improvement after so many
caring advice. hope to hear good news from u.

[Oralcraz]

I think m1lktea HO SAY already.:) No news is good news.

[walle]

massage for him 1st make him relax...grind viagra into powder put into tea and let him drink....wah...u sure get wat u want...but....provided he dun have hard attack if not....then is curry chicken time for the next 5 day for u and ur relatives....heehee...joking...make him relax 1st

[aczeta76]

massage for him 1st make him relax...grind viagra into powder put into tea and let him drink....wah...u sure get wat u want...but....provided he dun have hard attack if not....then is curry chicken time for the next 5 day for u and ur relatives....heehee...joking...make him relax 1st

hahaha... EVVVVVVVVAAAAA

Guys, give TS a break lah.. maybe CNY and she is busy. She will be back if she needs more advice

[Real07]

Real07, she say tired, actually i can understand.

It's hard to feel the urge after a long day at work. Alot of times, all i want to do after work, is do nothing. And i do realise, the longer i don't do it with my husband, the more i don't feel like it anymore. It's because i know it is not healthy to have a sexless marriage, that's why i started a thread here...not really because i'm dying to do it. My husband finally initiated today. But it was actually quite painful for me...maybe it's because really too long never do already.

I know it sounds crazy but if you help out more with the household chores (if you aren't already doing your share), it might help...Because for me, i have to pick up after my husband and i do feel du lan.

Hi Milktea, FYI I am doing most of the housework cos she reach hm ard 9.30pm and most of the time I had already finished the household chores.

My intention is to give her a nice and pleasant environment, sometime I even light up aroma hopefully can help to create atmosphere. But she just complain too tired or not in a mood???? :mad:

I strongly agreed once you stop ML, both will have no more interest in each other anymore. In the end u will just sleep with ur backside facing each other. :( So u really have to do something fast, such as talk dirty to him, watch some pron moive or travel overseas.

Most couple use kid as a excuse to have sex, eg tell ur hubby u wan a baby in the near future and we need to do something right now. (Hee..hee... I am using this excuse now. Hopefully it work!)

[aczeta76]

Hi Milktea, FYI I am doing most of the housework cos she reach hm ard 9.30pm and most of the time I had already finished the household chores.

Most couple use kid as a excuse to have sex, eg tell ur hubby u wan a baby in the near future and we need to do something right now. (Hee..hee... I am using this excuse now. Hopefully it work!)

Good hubby... But my suggestion is dun use kid as excuse lah.. U muz genuinely want children to try and not later regret and ...

Cizo

[Real07]

Good hubby... But my suggestion is dun use kid as excuse lah.. U muz genuinely want children to try and not later regret and ...

Cizo

Thank you Bro for your concern, Yes I do love kids and my wifey bring out this topic since most of her friends had give birth. :D

[surfer888]

an out-of-this world BBBJ without any hope of reciprocation would do the trick.
I second that... but I guess that's old news.

[aczeta76]

Close this thread lah, can conserve some bandwidth... she is not coming back to here...Let her sort out her own issues...

FB and lovers wannabe.. she is not looking for you. Thank you

[m1lktea]

Hi bros....

Appreciate if anyone of you out there who has seen any GP or urologist before for ED problems, please PM me. I need some recommendations. I am trying to encourage my husband to see a doctor with me...We now both believe he has ED problems but he is not willing to see one. Please help....thanks in advance....

[mike38]

Hi bros....

Appreciate if anyone of you out there who has seen any GP or urologist before for ED problems, please PM me. I need some recommendations. I am trying to encourage my husband to see a doctor with me...We now both believe he has ED problems but he is not willing to see one. Please help....thanks in advance....

PM me and I will let you know,
he is a Consultant @ Changi Hospital when I visited him some time ago.

[Vamp88]

Dear Sis

If I m your husband , I would react exactly the same way as him. Your are a totally turn-off - Why???

When your husband is in the mood, he wouldn't mind at all whether you have bad breath or you have not bath yet or your hair smell, this is called true love.

But as for you, each time when your husband are willing and about to make love to you, just before you two start, definitely you must have make some unwarranted comment such as "you go have a shower first or have you brush you teeth', (I m not disputing that you are wrong in being hygenic but what will your husband think ? He would think that If you love him, you wouldn't mind him this and that - "If you really love me , you would accept what I m").

At times, your hubby has brushed his teeth or taken a shower already which you did not notice, and you just repeated the usual remarks. It is not only a instant turn-off , worst, it is hurting in your hubby's heart. Sometimes, he did not really intend to make love with you, but just to sound you out and see what is your response and then he would normally react in an upset manner and ended up not having sex with you.

Even if your hubby would engage in love session with you (for that one time, he bears with your remarks), I tell u, he would not enjoy at all, the moment to him is just (sorry for being straight) fucking a women not love making to a wife.

Well, if you cannot tolerate your husband's this & that or you would never change your mindset, the relationship would not going to be healthy even now. Your hubby would in time mental breakdown - asking to make love with you is like a chore so troublesome, don't want better, but to screw with women outside, he feels guilty.

If you intend to keep this relationship, then do things in discreet :-

Bad breath - before love making - come up with something like mint ice-cream or fruits which can help reduce the bad breath, and act normally just like you happen to purchase the ice cream or fruits ;

Shower - instead of telling him off to take a shower - why don't you pretend to ask him to help you to shrub your back and I don't think he would reject you, instead he would be glad to serve you.

Please remember and remember, don't make remarks about his bad breath and suggest he does this and that during the whole process. One word out from your mouth, that is it, end over.

When you make such little efforts indirectly, your hubby (main actor) would know you have put love in it and you would be suprised that your hubby would make changes at his end because you have shown him love. He would try means to improve his breath but without telling you ok.

Best of luck to you .

[m1lktea]

Thanks bro for your post, thou my situation had long moved on from that stage.

[QQBoy]

Hi bros....

Appreciate if anyone of you out there who has seen any GP or urologist before for ED problems, please PM me. I need some recommendations. I am trying to encourage my husband to see a doctor with me...We now both believe he has ED problems but he is not willing to see one. Please help....thanks in advance....

Ask him to try Cialis. YOu can get it from any neighbourhood GPs.

[viewsonic]

Thanks bro for your post, thou my situation had long moved on from that stage.

It's good to hear that, u really need to try your best to motivate him. Shower him with your touching words bit by bit everyday and very soon he should realised that no matter what is the outcome of the treatment, u will be still there for him.

=====
My wife and I had tried for almost 6 months and without any success. And started to suspect one of us might have some problems in our system....

Somehow we believe one of my friends words, pay a visit to a specfic temple in Singapore and pray to a specfic "datok" status.

And yes, within a month, i strike a bulleye.

Well, the morale of the story is....
I would said the "datok" status had not answer our prayer.
But i would felt that after prayed to the "datok", it's had more of less release some levels of stress on us. which enable us to carry out the "act" in a better state.

[aczeta76]

Nice to hear your good experience.. viewsonic..

TS.. jia you!

[mike38]

Thanks bro for your post, thou my situation had long moved on from that stage.

be patient and wait for the right mood and first of all you must play a part by keeping cool and give him a sweet smile and hug when he return home....:)

[bairni]

Thanks bro for your post, thou my situation had long moved on from that stage.

TS, the economic may not be good for some time, why not take a short break with your hubby? When you flip the papers you should find some short and cosy vacations at very resonable rates. Take this opportunity to go for a "honeymoon". Tell him you need a break, and needs a break too.

In many ocasions, things changed for the better during the trip and after you come back... Many times, we are all too stressed up in the routine envoironment.

Just my two cents worth.. good luck:)

[LiBai]

Consider going under the blade.