What's an acceptable "magic number"?

[Charmaine]

I was just having drinks with a couple of friends after work when the following topic cropped up, and it divided opinions so dramatically that I told one of them that I'd have to seek a straw poll from sammyboy-ers (essentially a good cross-section of the male population in Singapore) to get a better indication of what everyone thinks about this.

I have a friend who is about to get serious with a pretty hot ex-colleague of his. They've been intimate and already discussed (and had) sex a couple of times, and she's been brutally honest in revealing the number of sex partners she's had with other men before him. It turns out that the magic number is 6. The logical conclusion to draw from that honesty is that he was her 7th. She's 29 this year.

Now my friend is extremely uncomfortable with this figure, and although his chauvinistic tendencies are exposed in full view when buddies like us take a quick glance into his own sexual history (he must have had at least had sex with 12 or 13 different girls before before he met her, so who's he to judge?), he can't seem to come to terms with the fact that the girl of his dreams has already slept with half a dozen men prior to sleeping with him. We saw him virtually in tears when he revealed that number to us and it reeled us into shock. We never knew it was such a big deal. The bunch of us started to discuss what our own tolerance level for a magic number is, and our answers were somewhat varied (from "no more than 5" to "I don't care about her history as long as she's mine now").

What is your own "magic number"? Is half a dozen at the age of 29 common? Bear in mind that we're not talking about one-night stands or flings here (no figures matter in that category) - our topic of discussion is limited to females you really have intense feelings for and with whom you see a future together. For me, although it really doesn't seem to matter now that the girl's mine, I see myself drawing the line at, say, 10 men by age 30 - any figure larger and I'll be sub-consciously labelling her a whore. But that's just me..

[todae]

I was just having drinks with a couple of friends after work when the following topic cropped up, and it divided opinions so dramatically that I told one of them that I'd have to seek a straw poll from sammyboy-ers (essentially a good cross-section of the male population in Singapore) to get a better indication of what everyone thinks about this.

I have a friend who is about to get serious with a pretty hot ex-colleague of his. They've been intimate and already discussed (and had) sex a couple of times, and she's been brutally honest in revealing the number of sex partners she's had with other men before him. It turns out that the magic number is 6. The logical conclusion to draw from that honesty is that he was her 7th. She's 29 this year.

Now my friend is extremely uncomfortable with this figure, and although his chauvinistic tendencies are exposed in full view when buddies like us take a quick glance into his own sexual history (he must have had at least had sex with 12 or 13 different girls before before he met her, so who's he to judge?), he can't seem to come to terms with the fact that the girl of his dreams has already slept with half a dozen men prior to sleeping with him. We saw him virtually in tears when he revealed that number to us and it reeled us into shock. We never knew it was such a big deal. The bunch of us started to discuss what our own tolerance level for a magic number is, and our answers were somewhat varied (from "no more than 5" to "I don't care about her history as long as she's mine now").

What is your own "magic number"? Is half a dozen at the age of 29 common? For me, although it really doesn't seem to matter now that the girl's mine, I see myself drawing the line at, say, 10 men by age 30 - any figure larger than that and she's a whore. But that's just me..

for me if that girl is 21yo having 6 is :eek::mad:. but 29yo liao 6 is okay lah. as long as don more than 8-9men can liao.. :)

[Joker74]

Whether you slept with 1, 2 or 3 person, it is the same. You have slept with other before. What is the different between sleeping with 5 person or 6 person? The answer is no different. The only different is between 0 and 1. Virgin and Non-Virgin.

There is no such thing as the magic number in my opinion. 2 person seriously in love will not bother about each other past.

On top of that, age is not the factor to consider nowadays. Teens seems to start the sex education and training kind of early these days (we know there is a minimum age limite but do they care?)

Apologise if I offend any body...

[Randi_Candi]

When we work, we all know the Numbers Game theory
BUT in a relationship? My take is - Tats Past, History, Over with

If not, ask ur fren go ad big big for a virgin or ask frens for reccomendation of old virgin??:p

Thk on the brighter side, she's not 17 tis yr n he's her 7th


Side track abit - 6297 sound like a KT no.:D

[koites]

It's just a number. However, there is a correlation between the numbers.

X & Y
Where X is the number of partners and Y is the level of satisfaction in the intimacy, ceteris parabus, when X goes up, Y goes up too.

:-)

[Asianguy]

If you cannot accept the person for who he/she is NOW, it does not matter if the person is virgin or not.

[geckoSG]

What's the number for? If he has been sleeping around... Who is he to
demand that his potential spouse must be holy for him?

Please pass this message to him, go get a LIFE. I'm very shocked to hear
that people like him would be in tears cos the lady he likes have sex with a
number of people? Wat a BLOODY MCP he is... :rolleyes:

If you sleep around, dun expect others not to sleep around. Further more,
the more experienced the lady is, the more enjoyable the time you spent in
bed. Who needs a dead fish companion? :D

[yang punk]

Could she be an extremely fussy person? And those 6 were not up to her standard and got dumped.

Or is she the cmi type who got played and dump?

Well if she is a looker and the former...then your friend can count himself lucky to qualify as her long term partner otherwise he is a sucker!

[Tai_zi21]

She 29 this year? and the magic no is 6?

Let imagine she start dating at only the age of 20? and this 9 years she only got 6 partners? tat not too bad isn't it?

Gd luck to ur friend :)

[K_ger]

The way I look at it, 6 might not have been 6 full blown hot passionate sex with her partners. Some of them could have been doing it, but with no pleasure.

If I was him (and she was one hot girl), I'll be happy to just ask her to "impart" all her experience from all her ex-partners, and gladly enjoy all the new stuff/positions I'll be able to learn from her. Better than getting one dead fish who just looks gorgeous from the outside. :)

[spurzcool]

Whether you slept with 1, 2 or 3 person, it is the same. You have slept with other before. What is the different between sleeping with 5 person or 6 person? The answer is no different. The only different is between 0 and 1. Virgin and Non-Virgin.

There is no such thing as the magic number in my opinion. 2 person seriously in love will not bother about each other past.


I concurred. What is the difference if you have slept with 1 person versus 100 people. Does it make the gal who slept with 100 people a slut or less "holy" as compared to the one who slept with only 1? The classic 50 steps laugh 100 steps "五十步笑百步"

I may sound like a saint myself and frankly, I do not dare to say I would behave otherwise should the same scenerio occurs to me. Perhaps it is the Asian culture ingrained for us that males would like to their bride-to-be a virgin, untouched by other man, only to be deflowered.

I've screwed around for half my life to the extent I've lost count of the females I've have sex with. It will be an irony if my finance chose not to marry me because I'm "dirty-minded"/unfaithful based on my past experience. Guess things have a way of revealing itself...

[Criminalz]

for your friend, regardless of the number, it will always be 1 too many.

anyway, on a lighter side. to get the true amount of partners each one has, use the below formula.

Guys.

Number of girls divide by 3 = Actual number he slept with.

Girls.

Number of guys multiply by 3 = actual number she slept with.

[sibaysong4u]

Like dat all ours local FL dun hav to married liao,all hav three digits.

[ChuiTaLan]

why bother to ask how many sexual partners he/she had b4??
Jus need to know how many r/s he/she have b4 will do, if thats really important to u.
for me, i dun care how many guys my girl have had b4 me, i only need to know that now she's mine n all others cant get her(hopefully :o), and she's clean. :D

[Silent=Killer]

I dun see what is the difference between 1 X 600 & 6 X 100.
Isnt that the same?

There is no difference if a guy bonk her 600 times over the period of 9 years and 6 guys bonk her 600 times over the period of 9 years rite?

The only difference is that your friend got the seventh hand instead of second hand. And also higher possibilty that ur frd saw the person that bonk her previously in their wedding dinner / else where that will make him embarrassed.

Forget about the past if he really love her.
Stop everything if he really cannot get over it.

[ilovebigtits]

The truth always hurts! If you can't take the truth...DUN ASK! Simple fact!

As an asian man myself...I totally understand what your friend is going through in his mind but I think your friend does not really understand himself in a way. Man always are self-fish! What the man can do, the ladies are not allowed unlike the ang moh (Always 2 sides to the coin). Again this is a matter of culture and how each perceives and conceive to an impression and later becomes their believe. No right and wrong for this topic...I hope! ? Have been Trying for so many agonising years, still haven't get it right.

Rule of the thumb:
1. Know what you want!
2. Find what you want!
3. Get what you want!

After all these years of going in and out of relationships and seeing successful and unsuccessful relationship, somehow found this logic is very logical. Alot of times problems are not looking for us but WE like to look for problems lah. Till now I can only talk this shit well and I am still strugglin to keep myself afloat :( LOL...Practice makes Perfect!

If you like a Good girl type then dun expect her to read up from some "How-To-Do-It" book off the shelf to become the monster you desire in bed...Sex is something that is always about the Physical Exprience, Personal Touch and lastly Pornography! Lol...Human learn better through mimicking!

[xiaogui1502]

I dun see why he takes it as such a big deal. For me, there is no magic number, as I am always "FOR" pre-martial sex or free enjoyable sex.

First of all, if she can have sex with so many partners, minimum thing is, she is attractive. Next, she enjoys sex, rather than feeling painful all the time like some unfortunate girls.

secondly, who is he to judge?

lastly, I think what is important is that the sex is good between them, they loved and enjoy each other, and each others companionship. Doesn't matter whether she is divorced or make out with a dozen guys in a month.

My 2 cents worth.

[John_Lloyd]

Yeah, used to bother so much about numbers. But as I grew older, I come to realise past is past. If we think about the past, it is very difficult to lead a happy relationship.

[ss_revup]

Be cool bros.. just be cool headed man.. if u sleep around, how can u expect the gal to keep her virginity for so long? and just for you only?

Don't bother abt such matters if u really truly love her.

[havana]

The most important thing is that none of her ex is yr friend....Or they may mock at u for wearing their old sock.....sorry guys:(
Or worst, yr gal has some naked pic taken with her ex!!!!!:eek:
It will definitely come back to haunt u!!!!

[MrElixir]

Maybe she might be lying also . Maybe more than 6

[feber]

Guess the truth always hurt. All guys have this secret fetish of wanting their wives to sample only their dicks in their lifetime. Ignorance is always a bliss. The more you know, the more you perturbed you get... For what? :confused:

[bunnyrabbit]

does it really matter? all your friend wants is sex and no more than that and..

A pussy is still a pussy no matter how many dicks have explored it before..=)

[Snuber]

If your fren can't get over her "magic number", then she would be better off without him! Else, he will always have this at the back of his mind bothering him every now and then.

Speaking of this, how abt those who married ex-wls??? I really admire them as it's a path few dare to thread and carry on. Just imagine the emo part and it's damn heavy already.

But then, it's the past and can ur fren change it? No??? Then, y not work towards the future he has with the girl lah!

Just tell ur fren..... so wat she had those prev partners??? The key word is "was". Your fren is enjoying "now" and all the prev partners is just envy......

1 last thing....... if your fren fucks around, how can he ever expect to find a gal with minimal exp?? If he really can, then good lor.... else just move on lah!

[lacoruna69]

At least the gal is honest with him. She could had act innocent and said zero or one. Will that make him happy?
What matters most is not how many previous sex partners the gal had. The most important thing is whether she got "tao jiak" when they are an item.
If yes, then ask your friend to continue to fuck her like a FB and look for another "more innocent" gal as a life time partner.

[Shakyywayy]

Does it matters?

You CAN'T change her past BUT you can only change her future ...

[charger]

Personally I think a smart woman shld just keep her mouth shut. If she has to tell just say 1 or 2 maybe even 3 but 6, I think most guys will feel abit uneasy. Though we are no angels but we still hope, think or feel our babe is not a slut and sleep around. :o

[nihonjin]

From guy's point of view, magic no. for gals will be '0' while for guys will be infinity..... Dun ask, ignorance is bliss.... juz tell urself 我是她的最终.