Shy good friend

[Lionrod32]

My good buddy (another cheongster bro - bro X) whom I know for many years is a shy gentleman in front of the ladies in a normal social environment but morphs into a super havoc guy (a seasoned cheongster) who flirts openly with groups of mei mei in ktv, club and hc (sweet talking, rub here and there, etc).

Bro X is still single and he is thinking of finding a girl to settle down. When I introduce him to my lady friends (some chio and some plain Jane), he will become very nervous and acts awkwardly in front of my friends. In most cases, he would talk to them without looking at them or mumbles softly during the conversations.

Feedback from my lady friends: Bro X is good looking but he is sooooooooo shy. They want to flirt with him but he will flatly reject their advances.

Everytime I joke with him:
"you really a joker lah ... In front of my friends, like angel ... Then when cheong like a devil ..... So u really angel or devil hahahaha .... "


Bros, how to help my Bro X? Do you also have friends like bro X?

[omglol]

bring them all out for a drink

[unsung80]

Got to put bro X in an environment where he will open up, then surprise him with TS girl friends. Like a club or something.

[jushitit]

I think he knows it himself tat he cant be like in ktv or hc..as he will offend the ladies.. thus he dunno what to do in normal enviroment. like the bros here said..some alcohol will be good..but not tooo much!

[babyonboard]

Wahah... you describe someone just like me. Best to lower inhibitions with alcohol like other bros described.

But hey, if he's really 2-faced in the manner you describe, then it works better that you prep your GAL friends instead, and encourage them to 'open' him up - discover the real him. He's not going to automatically become Mr. Suave and Charming, but with the right girl asking the right questions and taking the initiative, he'll come out of his shell.

That's my experience anyhow - take it from me, I've been there. ;):D:D

[cheonglah]

Put it this way. If you are single and your friend X arrange for you to meet group of girls he knows but you do not know, you will feel anxious and suddenly get tongue tied also right? :D
Expectations of him are higher in such situations and people do clam up and becoming anxious in such situation.
Probably can loosen him up and make him less nervous with liqour. Also bring few other guy frens also to back him up if want to introduce him to a bunch of gals :D

[Snuber]

Imo, your friend has too much paid activities that he doesn't know how to react in a normal environment.

It's a totally different ballgame and he has to overcome his own barrier if he really wants a gf from the normal environment.

Alternatively, he can go look for a gf in the other environment.

No right nor wrong, but the excitement and stress level is also very different too

[S.B.Y.1]

Ask your friend join Pak today to Batam :D

[Sexy Under]

Must overcome his inferiority complex (something only he knows) or see a psychiatrist .

[elmoboi21]

My good buddy (another cheongster bro - bro X) whom I know for many years is a shy gentleman in front of the ladies in a normal social environment but morphs into a super havoc guy (a seasoned cheongster) who flirts openly with groups of mei mei in ktv, club and hc (sweet talking, rub here and there, etc).

Bro X is still single and he is thinking of finding a girl to settle down. When I introduce him to my lady friends (some chio and some plain Jane), he will become very nervous and acts awkwardly in front of my friends. In most cases, he would talk to them without looking at them or mumbles softly during the conversations.

Feedback from my lady friends: Bro X is good looking but he is sooooooooo shy. They want to flirt with him but he will flatly reject their advances.

Everytime I joke with him:
"you really a joker lah ... In front of my friends, like angel ... Then when cheong like a devil ..... So u really angel or devil hahahaha .... "


Bros, how to help my Bro X? Do you also have friends like bro X?

Sounds like me also... i'm also a person in real life in such a way.. that's why till now i no gf...

[tigerprawn]

TS, I have a friend who is exactly like this.

If your friend becomes overly indulged in the paid activities, then he may find it more and more difficult to communicate and social in normal situations outside of nightclubs.

As one of the bros pointed out, it reflects a deeply seeded inferiority complex which can cripple him socially with girls. Honestly I think it will be difficult for him to find a normal gf.

My friend? End up marrying a nightclub China girl...... But that is not the end of it. Cos he does not know how or what to do during normal times with the girl, once removed from the nightclub environment he does not know how to interact or develop a real relationship. So end up? To him a wife or gf is just to bear children, do the housework etc. For social, he needs to be with guy friends AND cannot stop patronising night clubs - the only place where he can feel any hint of female interaction, albeit all fake.

[daonterop]

Got to put bro X in an environment where he will open up, then surprise him with TS girl friends. Like a club or something.

for once, I thought TS = Transexual.

That will not only make him more shy but prolly hide in his bed reading some mantras to ward off evil! :D

[Xgenre]

1. Secretly plant the girl you want to introduce to him at your frequently visited KTV. Then the girl will see the real him. :p

2. Tell him this. You are daring in front of the KTV girls because of alcohol and because you pay. Money gives you the feeling of power and thus confidence right?

Ask him to pay the girl you are introducing to him. Not in terms of money but in terms of a gift. Tell him to buy her a present. If he likes her, he has the power to reward her with a gift at the end of the date. The choice to present the gift is entirely up to him. See what he says...

[Krazzie]

I think this kind of 'fear' is similar to stage fright.. like any normal or daring person may freeze up when asked to do a public presentation in front of people whether big or small.

Not really sure what kind of activities you arrange when introducing ladies to him maybe you can arrange something that he is more comfortable with ... say clubbing..

Alternatively you can try to train him by arranging outings with female friends that he is comfortable like BBQ, cycling along ECP etc basically get him used to interacting with females so one day you swap one of the female friends with a girl you are trying to introduce to him he will be natural.

[owl888]

TS, I have a friend who is exactly like this.

If your friend becomes overly indulged in the paid activities, then he may find it more and more difficult to communicate and social in normal situations outside of nightclubs.

As one of the bros pointed out, it reflects a deeply seeded inferiority complex which can cripple him socially with girls. Honestly I think it will be difficult for him to find a normal gf.

My friend? End up marrying a nightclub China girl...... But that is not the end of it. Cos he does not know how or what to do during normal times with the girl, once removed from the nightclub environment he does not know how to interact or develop a real relationship. So end up? To him a wife or gf is just to bear children, do the housework etc. For social, he needs to be with guy friends AND cannot stop patronising night clubs - the only place where he can feel any hint of female interaction, albeit all fake.

Tat's wat i m thinking oso.
- Inferiority complex
- social skills problem

But dunn ever marry a nightclub gal. There r better ones available e.g. marry Hainanese gals. So far, quite a few of my frenz r happily married and having kids. Furthermore, they r not demanding and take care of the family well.

[vaginal-health]

I dont think he is shy la.. he is only pretending to be shy :)

[Johanna]

Involve him in some healthy sports with some gals. Best the sports have some body contact one .e.g. basket/netball, or may b beach games, etc. Gradually, he'll be more confortable with the gals......

[Lionrod32]

Many good suggestions from the bros so far .....

Bro X is a confident person by nature as he is doing well in his career ... Therefore we are puzzled why he lacks the self esteem to approach a girl whom he fancies ....

When we are clubbing in a group: he will check out the babes and make comments like:
"Did u see the chio bu sitting with her group of friends over at the corner? Dun know whether attached or not?
Then we will dare him to approach the girl. He will chicken out and suggest to go ktv haha ...

It might be true that he enjoys paid companionship in which he has control over the very short term relationship ... So he is worried that he lose face if the girl he is chasing rejects his advances ....

Perhaps need to psycho him to think of his date as a escort first (no offense meant) so that he can at least try to sweet talk to the girl .... Hahaha

[Lionrod32]

An update on my bro x .....

Success at last .... I mean a small step towards success .. Bro X managed to chat up a nice looking girl last week and got her number ....

Really happy for my bro x ....