My decisions, mistakes and guilty pleasure

[seemtobe]

I decided to pen down this story with a heavy heart and after much fickled thoughts. People come and go, whether you like it or not. What's left are memories that are kept in your heart; some that hurt...some that bring a smile and warmth to your heart.

This story embarks on its 1st installment...

One fine day, I was surfing the net and chatting up with my friends on msn and there came an unknown msn request and I accepted it due to curiosity.

R: Hi you're so cute and sweet, can I know you?
ME: Err who are you?
R: Hello I'm Ryan, can I know you?
ME: Oh okay... err sure (I was bored)
R: How old are you?
ME: You guess?
R: 18? 20?
ME: For you to find out, for me to know!

The conversation went on for awhile, getting to know each other abit better... after 20min....

R: Are you open minded?
ME: Fuck off lah.

I ignored him knowing he is some guy just desperate for sex with that typical question. I was someone who believed in sex after marriage then, I hold on to my principles in life pretty strictly.

Time and time again, R tried to chat up with me whenever I'm online. I know there's only 1 thing on this guy's mind, so I ignored him. One day I had some emotional issues... I was feeling abit suicidal and depressed over my then bf. I couldnt find anyone to talk to and....

MSN beeps***
R: Hey how are you?
ME: Bad...
R: Why...
ME: Some issues with my bf ):
R: Aiyo, dont be sad my girl... cheer up okay I can bring you for a drink.
ME: I feel so depressed, he doesnt want me if I dont want to have any sex with him. (I was so stupid and naive then.)
R: Please... dont do stupid stuff. He's not worth it.
ME: I wont... I just dont know how or what to do. I shall go off first, bye.

I signed off msn abruptly.
My mind was in a swirl. I loved my bf, I didnt want him to leave me. Our relationship was not even up to a certain level yet and I didnt feel ready at all. I was unsure if he was someone I wanna give my virginity to. "If you dont want sex, then I'll go find other girls..." He knew I loved him, and he knew this stupid tactic will eventually work on such a hopeless romantic like me. So, I made up my mind...


P.S. 1st attempt in sharing... comments are welcome (: I dont really care about points and I dont know how it works. Cheers to all!

[Civicsir1]

Yea!!!! 1st to camp.

[ch33zy]

hi sis.. nice of you to share here.. hope that this sharing doesn't bring back sad memories for you..

[alan0338]

1 more camper, nice start :D

[calvintan123]

I also jus start my story.... U have a nice title...im camping here :)

[Bangster]

TS, are you like 18? 20? 22?

Is there going to be raunchy sex coming up in your story or are we going to hear sobstories and heartbreaks and stuff?

Just askin'...

[VanGogh]

all the cheekopek Bros here like Alan n Bangster always pitch tent up very fast. .. :D

[GeMiNiZzzzZzz]

Sex forum must talk about sex, if not can post in the matters of the heart thread :D

[seemtobe]

Haha I guess I know what should be appropriate to this section for SBF! Stay tuned... Anyway thanks for the views and feedback! Gam xia gam xia:D

[seemtobe]

Btw I shall call that bf 'Z'.

I gave in. That evening, Z led me up to his room excitedly like a small kid redeeming his long awaited present. I felt nervous as I didnt know what exactly to do. I watched some porn before meeting up with him so as to know 'how' to pleasure him during sex.

He gave me a tight warm hug and led me to his single bed...slowly laid me side to side with him and start to french me. Our tongues were swirling and things get more hot... he cupped my breasts up and squeezed it. I moaned a little because it was actually pleasurable. Z got more high with my moaning and started unbuttoning my top and unhooked my bra without my notice. I got a shock when he started licking my tits and sucking it like a lollipop.

ME: Ohhh.....ahhhhh.....ahh..
I love how Z pleasured me. His hands are all over me... I was a little aroused I relaxed quite abit but suddenly he tried to reach for my pussy and rubbed it with his fingers... Slowly he tried to poke his middle finger in...
ME: Ouch it hurts... no... not too deep
I moaned in pain as I wasnt that wet yet...
Z: I love the way you moan...so sexy...
He increased his speed of his fingering and not long after... my pussy was wet and the fingering felt sooo good. He tried to finger it deeper and deeper and I just wanted it like a slut.
ME: Ohhh...so good.... oh fuckkkk.......
Z: Play with it...
He pointed to his crotch and took my hand, guiding it up and down...stroking his dick in slow motion and increasing the speed in a momentum.
ME: I dont know how to...
Z: Just see how I use your hand and do it... just do that...
I stroked it up and down, varying my speed and I could see him closing his eyes... enjoying the pleasure. After awhile, he got really wet and hard...
Z: Now suck it...
I was stunned. I saw how girls in porn have dicks in their mouth but I'm not sure how...I went down to his crotch and shaft his dick in my mouth carefully. I went up and down...sucking him away like a lollipop.
ME: Mmmmm slurps...sips....mmmmm....slups...
Z: Use your tongue and lick it.
I used my tongue and lick the head of his dick and all around... I looked up at him not sure if I was doing it right.
Z: Yes suck hard on the tip of my dick..
I did it....
Me: Mmmmmm sips sips sips...slurps...Mmm..
Z: Ohhh...oh yeah...dear suck faster..ohhhh..ahh...
Me: Mmmmm..mmmmm..mmmms sips slurps sips slurps....mm..
I closed my eyes and savour his dick and he moaned in pleasure. It was not bad after all I thought to myself...He continued fingering me and it felt so good. Like it better if he is rougher...

After foreplay...
Z: Dear, I go in okay? (pop the cherry)
ME: Huh...I scared.... Dont want lah... I dont want..Noo...
Z: Pls lah, we're here already...just try lah..
ME: Dont want, I scared.... Nooo..
Z: I try go in abit okay... if you dont want I stop..
I chickened out. I was obviously unready but I didnt want to lose him at the same time. After much persuasion, I gave in.

ME: Ahhhhh pain...pain...
My pussy was damn tight and it felt like his dick is forcing his way in. Tear rolled down my eyes.
Z: Okay... I more gentle..
He tried again to go in..
ME: Dont want already... pain...
Z: Dear... It's okay I'm with you okay...let's try...
After a few attempts, he slowly pumps his dick in my tight pussy inch by inch. I screamed in pain...

[seemtobe]

Btw I shall call that bf 'Z'.

I gave in. That evening, Z led me up to his room excitedly like a small kid redeeming his long awaited present. I felt nervous as I didnt know what exactly to do. I watched some porn before meeting up with him so as to know 'how' to pleasure him during sex.

He gave me a tight warm hug and led me to his single bed...slowly laid me side to side with him and start to french me. Our tongues were swirling and things got hot... he cupped my breasts up and squeezed it. I moaned a little because it was actually pleasurable. Z got more high with my moaning and started unbuttoning my top and unhooked my bra without my notice. I got a shock when he started licking my tits and sucking it like a lollipop.

ME: Ohhh.....ahhhhh.....ahh..
I love how Z pleasured me. His hands are all over me... I was a little aroused I relaxed quite abit but suddenly he tried to reach for my pussy and rubbed it with his fingers... Slowly he tried to poke his middle finger in...
ME: Ouch it hurts... no... not too deep
I moaned in pain as I wasnt that wet yet...
Z: I love the way you moan...so sexy...
He increased his speed of his fingering and not long after... my pussy was wet and the fingering felt sooo good. He tried to finger it deeper and deeper and I just wanted it like a slut.
ME: Ohhh...so good.... oh fuckkkk.......
Z: Play with it...
He pointed to his crotch and took my hand, guiding it up and down...stroking his dick in slow motion and increasing the speed in a momentum.
ME: I dont know how to...
Z: Just see how I use your hand and do it... just do that...
I stroked it up and down, varying my speed and I could see him closing his eyes... enjoying the pleasure. After awhile, he got really wet and hard...
Z: Now suck it...
I was stunned. I saw how girls in porn have dicks in their mouth but I'm not sure how...I went down to his crotch and shaft his dick in my mouth carefully. I went up and down...sucking him away like a lollipop.
ME: Mmmmm slurps...sips....mmmmm....slups...
Z: Use your tongue and lick it.
I used my tongue and lick the head of his dick and all around... I looked up at him not sure if I was doing it right.
Z: Yes suck hard on the tip of my dick..
I did it....
Me: Mmmmmm sips sips sips...slurps...Mmm..
Z: Ohhh...oh yeah...dear suck faster..ohhhh..ahh...
Me: Mmmmm..mmmmm..mmmms sips slurps sips slurps....mm..
I closed my eyes and savour his dick and he moaned in pleasure. It was not bad after all I thought to myself...He continued fingering me and it felt so good. Like it better if he is rougher...

After foreplay...
Z: Dear, I go in okay? (pop the cherry)
ME: Huh...I scared.... Dont want lah... I dont want..Noo...
Z: Pls lah, we're here already...just try lah..
ME: Dont want, I scared.... Nooo..
Z: I try go in abit okay... if you dont want I stop..
I chickened out. I was obviously unready but I didnt want to lose him at the same time. After much persuasion, I gave in.

ME: Ahhhhh pain...pain...
My pussy was damn tight and it felt like his dick is forcing his way in. Tear rolled down my eyes.
Z: Okay... I more gentle..
He tried again to go in..
ME: Dont want already... pain...
Z: Dear... It's okay I'm with you okay...let's try...
After a few attempts, he slowly pumps his dick in my tight pussy inch by inch. I screamed in pain...Finally, he got it in....

To be continued....

[seemtobe]

Alamak double post.. Was too tired.. How do I delete double posts? Help! Thx in advance:)

[seemtobe]

After that 1st time, sex lasted 10-15min after he got his own pleasure. Minimal amount of foreplay, he just want to go in me. Z didnt bother if I got my share of pleasure... Sex was irregular due to his packed lifestyle.

A typical sex routine will be like this:
Go to his house myself > Take off clothes > finger me for 2min > blowjob > fuck 1 shot > I go home myself.

I just felt like a sex toy. I know it's stupid how I agree to it even though I'm not ready at all just to please him, in hope that he'll really treat me as his gf. Looking back, that's not even really sex...it's more like a quickie. I realise I have a higher sex drive... or to be offensive, he's...not really good on bed. Secretly, I would crave for more action after his 1st shot because it'll just end after he is 'shiok' himself. Z will normally just proceed to the bathroom and wash up. I'll just lan lan wear back my clothes and go home.

I am not sure about all of you but as female, I can feel if the sex involved love or it's just a cheap fuck for the sake of lust and pleasure. I had made a mistake any girl could... regretting her virginity. But no point... shen mi yi zing zhu cheng shou fan.

He still cheats on me and flirt around with girls, I was not regconised by him to his friends or publicly he is attached or I'm his gf. I was the one maintaining the whole relationship, he didnt make time for me to go out have a nice date or pamper me at all. It was strenuous and emotional. We quarreled frequently, he refused to admit wrong or understand me. Those quarrels... his immature attitude...I was helpless and very depressed over him. I did whatever to accommodate him, to please him... nothing worked. He took me for granted instead. Stupid is an underrated word to scold myself with that.

The relationship was like a ship wrecked... But I still cared about him alot..
HP rings***
Z: Hello where are you?
ME: Home... why?
Z: Wanna come over and have dinner?
ME: Oh... okay. I buy for you lah I had mine.
Z: Ok anything..
I packed dinner and went up for home delivery. I didnt intend to go in his house because it just meant sex.

I called him up when I reached his doorstep.
ME: Hello I'm there already.
Z: Come in then what're you wanting for?
ME: I dont want to go in.. your dinner...
I passed to him his dinner through the door gate.
Z: COME IN
ME: What lah... so fierce. I dont want.
Z: If you dont come in now. for sex. I go find other girls.
ME: FINE. WHATEVER. I DONT WANNA SEE U EVER AGAIN.
Z: Whatever. Bye you childish bitch.

That was the last straw. Fuck it, go find other girls for all he want. It is obvious he dont care about how I feel. All he want is sex, sex and just sex. I'm not a sex toy for christ's sake. No... he just dont love me. As simple as that. I cried on my way back home.

Emo and dramatic as it sound, I felt like I'm going berserk. I lost my ability to think calmly. I need something to numb myself. I started smoking... drinking and hanging late out at night. I didnt know what else I can do to calm myself down...

As usual I was surfing the net, using msn:
R: Hello
....I didnt reply.
R: Hey wanna go out for a drink?
R: If you want I'll be 24/7 here for you my dear...
I paused and thought.. Why not? I need some company. I need a drink. And so I replied after awhile.
ME: Okay when?
R: Anytime you're free~ I can bring you to a nice pub or maybe dinner if you want.
ME: Okay..next sun then.
R: Okay, cant wait to see you dear (:

Deep down, I know I'm playing with fire. This guy is after sex. But whatever... since my ex-bf (Z) treated me like a sex machine, let me be a slut then. (nth to do with fl/prostitute thanks)

This is just the start of my guilty pleasure.
To be continued....


P.S. Feedback if you can? Am I writing alright? Now I understand why TS are always abit discouraged after a few posts because I'm not sure about my story writing! Thanks and cheers!

[sportsboy]

your writing is good. Keep it up!

[sportsboy]

camping~~~ waiting for update urgently!!

[desperadodick]

nice one girl.....keep it up +U+U