View Full Version : sentimental bonking? or lifetime commitment?
muscleboi
13-02-2012, 10:55 PM
With the increasingly high cost of living in Singapore, will you still consider marrying? Or will you just ons / pcc / fl all the way till you are old?
I think every bro knows the pros of getting married and staying single so I shall just state the cons..
cons of getting married:
1) hdb loan - risk of getting heavily in debt and if you are out of job, there's almost no chance you can clear the debts
2) child expenses - if you calculate the total cost up till you send your child to college, the expenses are enormous. we will not know how much will that be in future but it will definitely be higher than the current cost because of inflation.
If you add the above two together, just having a normal day job will sink you into the depths of debt once you get married and have kids.
cons of staying single:
1) no kids to look after you - if you look at statistics, apparently many grown up kids are sending their parents to nursing homes (especially after the encouragement from the government...) so I wonder if that con still stand.
2) no permanent sex partner - though some bros are married, most are complaining not having enough and want variety. since getting married risk us becoming nuns and monks, why bother taking such a risk?
as long as we take the necessary precautions, hiring FLs may not be as bad as it seems...agree?
I think just hiring FL and be sentimental on bed (with lovey dovey words like "i love you") for that one session and after that, forget about everything and carry on with life..isnt it more low costing??
bros, enlighten me with your opinions..
LovePotion
13-02-2012, 11:05 PM
With the increasingly high cost of living in Singapore, will you still consider marrying? Or will you just ons / pcc / fl all the way till you are old?
I think every bro knows the pros of getting married and staying single so I shall just state the cons..
cons of getting married:
1) hdb loan - risk of getting heavily in debt and if you are out of job, there's almost no chance you can clear the debts
2) child expenses - if you calculate the total cost up till you send your child to college, the expenses are enormous. we will not know how much will that be in future but it will definitely be higher than the current cost because of inflation.
If you add the above two together, just having a normal day job will sink you into the depths of debt once you get married and have kids.
cons of staying single:
1) no kids to look after you - if you look at statistics, apparently many grown up kids are sending their parents to nursing homes (especially after the encouragement from the government...) so I wonder if that con still stand.
2) no permanent sex partner - though some bros are married, most are complaining not having enough and want variety. since getting married risk us becoming nuns and monks, why bother taking such a risk?
as long as we take the necessary precautions, hiring FLs may not be as bad as it seems...agree?
I think just hiring FL and be sentimental on bed (with lovey dovey words like "i love you") for that one session and after that, forget about everything and carry on with life..isnt it more low costing??
bros, enlighten me with your opinions..
hmmm.. from how i see you portray the difference between staying single + bonking all the way and settling down + getting married...
its like saying, you gonna die 1 day... be it cancer / accident / coma / old age / poison... might as well pia all the girls raw to be shiok??
1 life, live it !
muscleboi
13-02-2012, 11:14 PM
hmmm.. from how i see you portray the difference between staying single + bonking all the way and settling down + getting married...
its like saying, you gonna die 1 day... be it cancer / accident / coma / old age / poison... might as well pia all the girls raw to be shiok??
1 life, live it !
NO WAY! RAW IS WAR! that's one pro of having a wife...can f raw. FL cannot!!!
BiRd13
14-02-2012, 08:57 AM
Haha... Many pros and cons between single and marriage life...
For marriage, you can bonk without paying a single cent to the party (Ok... Maybe those monthly allowance but usually used for household stuff)
For marriage, you can bonk her anytime you feel like, without needed to go down to the hotel, or even surf around to find FL
muscleboi
14-02-2012, 09:34 AM
Haha... Many pros and cons between single and marriage life...
For marriage, you can bonk without paying a single cent to the party (Ok... Maybe those monthly allowance but usually used for household stuff)
For marriage, you can bonk her anytime you feel like, without needed to go down to the hotel, or even surf around to find FL
Bro, having a wife is lifetime payment. there's a joke about a boy asking his father how much is he paying to sustain the whole family. and the answer? "I'm not sure son because I'm still paying"
Bro, I dont think you can bonk anytime you feel like..what can you do if your wife say "I'm tired" "I'm not interested" "Why must you always be so horny?" "Your mind has nothing else but sex" "Are you done already? I want to watch TV"
I do agree marriage has its perks. You can do RAW without fear of STDs. But you have another fear: getting her pregnant again. if the cons far outweigh the pros, paid sex is much better..
sundial
14-02-2012, 05:14 PM
cons of getting married:
1) hdb loan - risk of getting heavily in debt and if you are out of job, there's almost no chance you can clear the debts
>> as long as you built up enough in your CPF to pay off the loan should be fine. Keep at least 2 years worth of monthly installment should be ok if case you lose ur job
2) child expenses - if you calculate the total cost up till you send your child to college, the expenses are enormous. we will not know how much will that be in future but it will definitely be higher than the current cost because of inflation.
>> they cost as much as a ferrari if give them the best....
cons of staying single:
1) no kids to look after you - if you look at statistics, apparently many grown up kids are sending their parents to nursing homes (especially after the encouragement from the government...) so I wonder if that con still stand.
>> forget it. They will be busy with their family. Best to be self-sufficient
2) no permanent sex partner - though some bros are married, most are complaining not having enough and want variety. since getting married risk us becoming nuns and monks, why bother taking such a risk?
>> married does not meant good sex life. Look at the number of ppl posting how much their married sex life sucks. but there is an alternative for release - WL
end of the day marriage is for companionship.
nuclearkid
14-02-2012, 05:21 PM
Bro, if you are looking from a perspective strictly of finances and sex, getting married is a lousy return on investment. Only a small handful of couples keep going at it on a long term basis, most fizzle out within a couple of years. There is no shortage of anecdotal evidence in this forum.
Many get married to enjoy that emotional fulfillment with a meaningful other half, to have kids and to generally enjoy the warmth and unwavering support of a family. These are the people who will stick with you through good times and bad. It is a lifetime of commitment but its mutual.
If its really an issue about sex, getting married is really an inappropriate manner of getting it. One is really better off finding a FB with a mutual understanding or paying for it. Strictly from an expenditure angle, better to pay on a per use basis than keep paying even when not using? And if you are indeed gonna pay for it...do it the right way. Big brother is watching...
muscleboi
14-02-2012, 06:50 PM
its really by chance if we ever meet someone good...take a look at the thread: http://sammyboyforum.com/showthread.php?t=260806&page=20 That bro made a good decision to divorce.
even married women can't resist the pleasure of huge dicks...I totally lost faith in marriage in this modern globalised society.
EatPrayLove
14-02-2012, 08:10 PM
this is interesting...
from a female POV, if there is a choice, i would choose to be single rather than getting into marriage. simply because cost of living is really high and the fear of being cheated by husband is too much for me to bear.
but then again, all female craved for that sense of belong and fulfilment to have a complete family which they can call their own. not too sure if men felt the same?
wolflust
14-02-2012, 10:29 PM
We are living in an intense paced society, gone were the days when wives are housewives. Everyone has equal opportunity and equal exposure to temptation. We are all stressed by work, by finances, etc.
If you are lucky enough to find someone who can accept who you are and that expectation stays, then perhaps marriage will last. There are those maintain their marriage even though there's no longer any love and the couple ate leading separate lives. The moment their children are independent, they go their separate ways.
People keep changing according to their circumstances, marriage has become harder to maintain.
Iemanishere
14-02-2012, 10:40 PM
Ahyo, many brothers will tell you that u can never place the 2 together as the joys u find is sometimes more than word can say..
Well, there is a saying" do you want to die alone" or other die with many wife... He he... U think...
With the increasingly high cost of living in Singapore, will you still consider marrying? Or will you just ons / pcc / fl all the way till you are old?
I think every bro knows the pros of getting married and staying single so I shall just state the cons..
cons of getting married:
1) hdb loan - risk of getting heavily in debt and if you are out of job, there's almost no chance you can clear the debts
2) child expenses - if you calculate the total cost up till you send your child to college, the expenses are enormous. we will not know how much will that be in future but it will definitely be higher than the current cost because of inflation.
If you add the above two together, just having a normal day job will sink you into the depths of debt once you get married and have kids.
cons of staying single:
1) no kids to look after you - if you look at statistics, apparently many grown up kids are sending their parents to nursing homes (especially after the encouragement from the government...) so I wonder if that con still stand.
2) no permanent sex partner - though some bros are married, most are complaining not having enough and want variety. since getting married risk us becoming nuns and monks, why bother taking such a risk?
as long as we take the necessary precautions, hiring FLs may not be as bad as it seems...agree?
I think just hiring FL and be sentimental on bed (with lovey dovey words like "i love you") for that one session and after that, forget about everything and carry on with life..isnt it more low costing??
bros, enlighten me with your opinions..
a true man knows that he needs a family , which comprises of his wife & children.
that's life.
but, if you look at it from a different angle , yes , no joke.
fucking the same woman for 10 years may get a lil boring .
but nobody's stopping you from getting FBs ` flings `ONS ` FLs .
am i right?
muscleboi
15-02-2012, 05:14 AM
this is interesting...
from a female POV, if there is a choice, i would choose to be single rather than getting into marriage. simply because cost of living is really high and the fear of being cheated by husband is too much for me to bear.
but then again, all female craved for that sense of belong and fulfilment to have a complete family which they can call their own. not too sure if men felt the same?
here's a lady who want a family and doesn't want her husband to cheat.
sis, if you don't want your husband to cheat, try giving him new surprises on bed every now and then. it takes two hands to clap. I hope your hubby reciprocates.
based on childless marriages, females will get a lot more advantages getting married.
a true man knows that he needs a family , which comprises of his wife & children.
that's life.
but, if you look at it from a different angle , yes , no joke.
fucking the same woman for 10 years may get a lil boring .
but nobody's stopping you from getting FBs ` flings `ONS ` FLs .
am i right?
so bro, by using means of FL, Ons, Flings if we do not find enough in our marriage is cheating and the wives will not want you to do it. and what's more, if found guilty by court, the women's charter wins. we will then lose half the assets to go chiong.
being single and hiring fl is better. no need to get your assets cut..
sgjoey
15-02-2012, 05:33 AM
At the bottomline, marriage is society's method of managing sexual desire as well as to raise the next generation.
It is crucial to note however that there is lots of evidence to show that this method is not as perfect as it seems. In fact, it is fraught with enough problems to indicate that it is actually a poor solution for the management of desires, but still a reasonably good way of raising children, if having children is what you want in the first place.
If I were to live my life all over again, I would think really hard before marrying and after the thinking, I probably wouldn't marry at all.
This is however easier said than done. From young, we have been indoctrinated with the idea of monogamy as the solution that leads to happily ever after. It is only with some experience in life that one realises that such happy endings are largely myths.
joew2005
15-02-2012, 06:02 AM
hello muscleboi,don't agree with u.
even if u r not married,
> it doesn't mean u will not need 2 bother abt housing loans. if 1 hv slight diginity/pride, 1 shld not rely on yr parents or siblings on providing housing 4 u.
> u still hv other expenses tat can drain off yr $ like bringing up a child over the long run.
even if u r married,
> u shld never think & treat yr other half as a sex partner.
If u need a perm sex partner,go look 4 a fb or stick 2 the sma wl/fl.
1 way or the other, it would still cost u $.
LovePotion
15-02-2012, 10:23 AM
hello muscleboi,don't agree with u.
even if u r not married,
> it doesn't mean u will not need 2 bother abt housing loans. if 1 hv slight diginity/pride, 1 shld not rely on yr parents or siblings on providing housing 4 u.
> u still hv other expenses tat can drain off yr $ like bringing up a child over the long run.
even if u r married,
> u shld never think & treat yr other half as a sex partner.
If u need a perm sex partner,go look 4 a fb or stick 2 the sma wl/fl.
1 way or the other, it would still cost u $.
Thats right..
muscleboi
15-02-2012, 10:47 AM
hello muscleboi,don't agree with u.
even if u r not married,
> it doesn't mean u will not need 2 bother abt housing loans. if 1 hv slight diginity/pride, 1 shld not rely on yr parents or siblings on providing housing 4 u.
> u still hv other expenses tat can drain off yr $ like bringing up a child over the long run.
even if u r married,
> u shld never think & treat yr other half as a sex partner.
If u need a perm sex partner,go look 4 a fb or stick 2 the sma wl/fl.
1 way or the other, it would still cost u $.
bro, I have to agree with you on the housing part. married or not, we need to pay for the place we live. no doubt about that. but paying for housing yourself is better than to get married and risk losing half of what you have if you were to divorce. to add, husband and wife seldom pay 50/50 for hdb loans. the husband ends up paying more and it's expected of us to pay more.
but I can't agree with you on the sex partner part. do you think all wives will be willing to let you find FBs? if not, that's considered cheating if you do it without their consent. so if you can't find FB without cheating and you shouldn't treat your wife as a sex partner, how do you find sexual relief?
I must add that treating your wife as your sex partner is just a part of the marriage role that she should play besides being a daughter in law and a mother. in that case, you are each other's sex partner.
however some modern day wives, at some point of time in marriage, don't allow their husbands to touch them AND also don't allow them to touch other women(this applies the whole time). it's as good as proclaiming your status as a monk if that happens. that's a con of getting married. that's also partly why divorce rate is increasing nowadays.
Stud00
15-02-2012, 10:59 AM
My take:
If you cant find a good mate, its always better to remain single, rather then rush into it and regret later... IF you haven't noticed, the women's charter in SG is not to our favor. And if you find the right one, treasure her, love her, pamper her.
Just my two cents worth.
trash55
15-02-2012, 12:11 PM
In my most ideal world, I think if you are be able to find a woman who have the following qualities
1) who don't mind the fact that you do not want to be married/tied down.
2) who loves sex as much as you do
3) who is willing to bear you children without you being committed to marriage.
Of course you must be responsible for her, and the children lives. You must have the financial capabilities to support her(ie pay for the house, household, car, etc). In this situation you can still have a family and have sex all the time, without being married.
If things turn sour, you don't have split your assets with her, and won't turn too messy. Afterall you have been single all these while.
trex99
15-02-2012, 03:36 PM
1) hdb loan - risk of getting heavily in debt and if you are out of job, there's almost no chance you can clear the debts
2) child expenses - if you calculate the total cost up till you send your child to college, the expenses are enormous. we will not know how much will that be in future but it will definitely be higher than the current cost because of inflation...
Very true.
I was so heavily in debt, Hdb loan + car loan, totally no saving at all. Until those loans were finally cleared. Now I am just a cash poor, asset rich fellow.
"Child expenses" is like a credit card with no limit on withdrawal and forever in debt. However, this great burden is lighten temporary when the child say "Daddy, I will you".
i kinda of expect the TS to be hurt badly by his gf/ex gf in order to feel this way?
I guess it all depends on the type of person u meet.
Some gals are worth spending ur time and even your monetary.
Some gals are just proud, nasty, petty, irritating, basically sluts :mad:
You probably haven't meet one that is worthwhile to tie u down yet..
EatPrayLove
15-02-2012, 09:23 PM
here's a lady who want a family and doesn't want her husband to cheat.
sis, if you don't want your husband to cheat, try giving him new surprises on bed every now and then. it takes two hands to clap. I hope your hubby reciprocates.
based on childless marriages, females will get a lot more advantages getting married.
Sweetie,
am still single. maybe the way i phrase my words is misleading?
base on my experiences, even though with me giving my bf lots of freedom, even when our sex live was fantastic, eventually he stray and that was the reason of our break up. i am ok with him having harmless flirt with female... once or twice i can turn a blind eye... but continuously having affairs behind my back, that's something i can never accept. to me, it's an insult, humiliation that i can't satisfied my man.
so may i asked, if it takes 2 hands to clap, why does men still stray even when their gf or wife are willing to give them the sex their need? ;)
sgjoey
16-02-2012, 10:45 AM
Sweetie,
am still single. maybe the way i phrase my words is misleading?
base on my experiences, even though with me giving my bf lots of freedom, even when our sex live was fantastic, eventually he stray and that was the reason of our break up. i am ok with him having harmless flirt with female... once or twice i can turn a blind eye... but continuously having affairs behind my back, that's something i can never accept. to me, it's an insult, humiliation that i can't satisfied my man.
so may i asked, if it takes 2 hands to clap, why does men still stray even when their gf or wife are willing to give them the sex their need? ;)
The answer is pretty obvious actually. Humans tend to be non-monogamous, just like our evolutionary cousins, the chimps and the bonobos.
Some humans can keep to monogamy, but over the long term, it is very hard, especially when the opportunity to have multiple partners readily present themselves.
typhonic
16-02-2012, 11:14 AM
Getting married is a natural progression in life.
callmebad
16-02-2012, 03:12 PM
actually looking at so many problems happening in current days marriages, I think it will only be crazy people who are getting married, just like you're nuts for entering the politics as an opposition member
such thing like marriage is very hard to look at it at a very rational point of view, if you try to be very logical,or thinking too much, actually in our fast-paced Internet age, marriage is getting less and less attractive
that's why I said you really have to be very very crazy in order to get married, because it is an uncertain life journey down there
both sides are gambling that they are meeting their Mr. Right and Miss Right.
I had unhappy past relationship, partly due to my fault. Alone now, but don't feel lonely, life is very occupied and packed till until over past midnight - not clubbing or chonking.
many guys just don't understand, they thought that I have no woman, I must be very free
fact is, I don't build my life around any woman, I manage to build my life without women
I suppose the only woman that will only make me sad when she is no longer there will be my mum
I'm old outside, but a child at heart:o
as for the sex part, my life is so stressful, that my little brother has been going for 'super long holiday'
really getting rusty
will it happen that after prolonged 'holiday' , one day the little brother will just shrink, wilt away and just fall off and all of you guys here will have to call me Big Sister or 'Aunty Lucy':)
will see
muscleboi
16-02-2012, 03:20 PM
i kinda of expect the TS to be hurt badly by his gf/ex gf in order to feel this way?
I guess it all depends on the type of person u meet.
Some gals are worth spending ur time and even your monetary.
Some gals are just proud, nasty, petty, irritating, basically sluts :mad:
You probably haven't meet one that is worthwhile to tie u down yet..
My first ex two-timed me aka cheating. my second ex told me she don't love me anymore after 2years plus..well, the second one is not so bad. at least she didn't cheat on me. Having the first one was a really bad experience.
actually the reason I feel this way is purely through calculations. Not that I'm calculative lol..just curious why people are always heavily in debt so I researched on the causes and those are some of my findings.
To be honest, I dislike cheating so that's why I don't recommend FLs/ONS/FBs after people get married.
If we want to play, we should play when we're single. If we plan to get attached, we should leave the playing field. How can you bear to see someone remaining faithful to you while you go out cheating? It's sad just thinking about it.
BUT if Bro's wife is not feeding bro well, divorce should be the proper way out. Too bad Women's Charter is not on our side. That's why staying single is a better option, financially. but if your gf is rich :D then hurry up and marry her!! (provided she give you the money hahah)
as for tying me down? ya, I haven't found one capable of doing that yet. hahah :D
muscleboi
16-02-2012, 04:02 PM
Sweetie,
am still single. maybe the way i phrase my words is misleading?
base on my experiences, even though with me giving my bf lots of freedom, even when our sex live was fantastic, eventually he stray and that was the reason of our break up. i am ok with him having harmless flirt with female... once or twice i can turn a blind eye... but continuously having affairs behind my back, that's something i can never accept. to me, it's an insult, humiliation that i can't satisfied my man.
so may i asked, if it takes 2 hands to clap, why does men still stray even when their gf or wife are willing to give them the sex their need? ;)
Smoochie, I feel for you. I had that similar bad experience. Because of that bad experience, I don't feel good cheating cos I know how it feels to be cheated.
There are many reasons why men stray but in my opinion it only boils down to two main reasons; (1) men desire variety, (2) men can't get enough from their wife/gf (maybe they refuse to try some sex stuffs or simply refuse sex altogether)
if you have the chance to stray and that guy is a rich man(richer than your bf/hubby) with all that you can ever ask for, and most importantly he's very interested in you, will your heart not be moved?
if you are my gf, I will be glad if you can just tell me you lost interest in me and decide to go with the richer guy (at this point, you are mentally cheating already..), I will just let you go. I won't do that if it's me. Cos I believe what comes around goes around. Just look at the news nowadays, women with equal earning capabilities think that if men can cheat, why can't they? And the best/worse thing is, they still get maintenance allowance from their divorced husbands even if they are the ones cheating.
EatPrayLove
16-02-2012, 09:14 PM
Smoochie, I feel for you. I had that similar bad experience. Because of that bad experience, I don't feel good cheating cos I know how it feels to be cheated.
There are many reasons why men stray but in my opinion it only boils down to two main reasons; (1) men desire variety, (2) men can't get enough from their wife/gf (maybe they refuse to try some sex stuffs or simply refuse sex altogether)
if you have the chance to stray and that guy is a rich man(richer than your bf/hubby) with all that you can ever ask for, and most importantly he's very interested in you, will your heart not be moved?
if you are my gf, I will be glad if you can just tell me you lost interest in me and decide to go with the richer guy (at this point, you are mentally cheating already..), I will just let you go. I won't do that if it's me. Cos I believe what comes around goes around. Just look at the news nowadays, women with equal earning capabilities think that if men can cheat, why can't they? And the best/worse thing is, they still get maintenance allowance from their divorced husbands even if they are the ones cheating.
firstly, when a guy wants to stray, they need no reason. there's only one reason, small head over big head.
secondly, the only reason i will ever stray is because my guy is sleeping behind me or his inability to satisfy my sexual needs regardless of the other guy is in a better league than him or not.
thirdly, after being through my past relationship, i realise one thing; honesty is the best policy. only being honest with each other, will you be able to gain trust and respect from your other half. whereas on your comment on the maintenance allowance part; woman always have a upper hand when comes to divorce. if husband don't cheat, will they cheat? there's a saying: "what goes around, comes around." in short, karma. i think that if husband didn't give wife a reason to cheat, will they do it? i doubt so.
above is just my 2 cents worth as a female. don't flame me! :p
hotstuffm8
16-02-2012, 09:35 PM
trolololol
joncheong
16-02-2012, 09:47 PM
For me i don't think i will get married... There are good girls or ladies around but too few... Perhaps that's the fallacy of our society... As education levels rise, the demand of women rises as well.., have dated many girls before and it's no longer giving them a sense of security and making them happy with humor and of cos sex... They want guys to interact with them on a higher level to satisfy them intellectually.. Not that i am a silly or stupid guy but it just get tedious to constantly intellectually stimulate them... Such girls are definitely not the kind of girls i am after... Others are too materialistic.. Marry when happily together but you just don't know when they will turn the tide.. When they get sick of you all they need to do is refuse sex with you... You as a guy will go find a fb/mistress/ fls and the moment they find out its game over.,, you have to pay her ailimony for the rest of her life and she get half of the assets.. Saw too many such cases...can always find fl.., wl.. Fb as long as you are financially well.., marry is a hell no for me , definitely not in singapore
arsenal_84
16-02-2012, 11:13 PM
its really by chance if we ever meet someone good...take a look at the thread: http://sammyboyforum.com/showthread.php?t=260806&page=20 That bro made a good decision to divorce.
even married women can't resist the pleasure of huge dicks...I totally lost faith in marriage in this modern globalised society.
Omg...I had this gut feeling that his wife is a bloody mess up person, guess I was right.
Looking at the way he phrase his story, I kinda thought that his wife had lost it.
arsenal_84
16-02-2012, 11:15 PM
its really by chance if we ever meet someone good...take a look at the thread: http://sammyboyforum.com/showthread.php?t=260806&page=20 That bro made a good decision to divorce.
even married women can't resist the pleasure of huge dicks...I totally lost faith in marriage in this modern globalised society.
Omg...I had this gut feeling that his wife is a bloody mess up person, guess I was right.
Looking at the way he phrase his story, I kinda thought that his wife had lost it.
For a woman who sold her soul to lust...there can be no turning back for her.
Bigthorn
16-02-2012, 11:33 PM
Has anyone considered marrying a woman who has no intention to have kids, who is crazy about sex as we are and is willing to go out with us to look for different sex partners?
That would solve a lot of the problems mentioned right?
muscleboi
17-02-2012, 12:02 AM
firstly, when a guy wants to stray, they need no reason. there's only one reason, small head over big head.
secondly, the only reason i will ever stray is because my guy is sleeping behind me or his inability to satisfy my sexual needs regardless of the other guy is in a better league than him or not.
thirdly, after being through my past relationship, i realise one thing; honesty is the best policy. only being honest with each other, will you be able to gain trust and respect from your other half. whereas on your comment on the maintenance allowance part; woman always have a upper hand when comes to divorce. if husband don't cheat, will they cheat? there's a saying: "what goes around, comes around." in short, karma. i think that if husband didn't give wife a reason to cheat, will they do it? i doubt so.
above is just my 2 cents worth as a female. don't flame me! :p
Nice opinions!
There is really nothing right or wrong.
If you agree, it's right to you. If you disagree, it's wrong to you.
(1) if what is in front of us is something undesirable to us, do you think our small head got the power to drain blood off the big head? A desirable person is the cause(reason), small head rule over big head is the result.
(2.1) sleeping behind you while attached to you is a wrong move and he's at fault. However I will encourage you to break off with him rather than stray. its best we don't do what we dont want people to do to us.
(2.2) What if the cause of his inability to satisfy you sexually is due to the fact that he is trying too hard to satisfy you monetarily by working hard earning money? Wouldn't you agree that being more financially well off indirectly put the richer guy in a better situation to sextify you than the less well off guy? the rich guy will even have enough time, without the worry for money, to learn all the tricks you may have never thought of and send you to the ninth heaven every single time while having sex. :D
(3) honesty is golden. I will never want to betray my beloved's trust. the problem is, how can we account for honesty? all we can do is to try to trust. If he's never been found out, he's assumed to be honest but that doesn't mean he is honest or dishonest. however, I do want an honest woman. She is a rare gem. But how can I prove she is honest? I just have to try to trust.
Girls cheat too but I will have to admit and say those are really rare cases. :) and most of the time is cos she can feel more love from the other man.
muscleboi
17-02-2012, 12:18 AM
TS bro, I have had similar considerations in the past. I know I'm not someone who can commit. I'm not a responsible person. So I decided that I am not gonna 害人. Not gonna lead girls on. Not gonna let anyone down.
Was in a clubbing stint getting my kicks until I realized shit man, FBs have a high emotional maintenance cost too. If I have to entertain calls at 3am on a workday, machiam like having a GF - what's the difference?
So yea. Decided that enough is enough. We just need a bonk once a week or something to keep the lil bro happy. Fuck and fuck off. No strings attached. In terms of finances, spending $400 to $800 per month on WLs is way more affordable than having a GF, much less a family. In terms of sextisfaction, you get to have more variety. And WLs are more skilled than GFs in my opinion. Unless your GF is a big time slut. Its an experience thing no?
But like what some bros are saying here, having a GF and eventually getting married is about fulfilling your emotional needs. You gotta think for yourself what you really want out of life, and act accordingly.
Good luck!
Bro, We think alike! with the exception of relying on gf/wife for emotional needs..becos 95% of the time in conversations with gf/wife, they are always talking about themselves, be it complaining or complimenting. And they expect us NOT to complain cos, I guess, we will sound like sissies if we do. We are also supposed to compliment them cos we know they will be happy as we are being attentive. Where are our emotional needs covered here when the topic is not even about us in the first place? :(
as for slut or not, I prefer to term them as novice, intermediate or expert. not nice calling them names unless they like dirty talking :D and showering lovey dovey words to FLs spices things up in bed at times, agree?
Stud00
17-02-2012, 12:26 AM
You can play, flirt, f around for all you want, WHEN you are single, but once you meet the right one, time to stop all your nonsense. Being a victim of two-timed, not once, but twice.. all i can say is, it totally sucks, and it hurts really badly.
Just imagine that you are working hard to bring money home to your wife, and home.. but behind your back shes screwing someone else..and at the end when you divorce.. you still have to pay her?! wth... my friend's ex wife, was fooling around behind his back, and despite all the evidence against her? he was ordered to give her half of his assets... millions of dollars worth of properties etc.. for what?
For me, when i would wait patiently for the right one.. no point rushing into it.
my 2 cents worth
EatPrayLove
17-02-2012, 01:16 AM
(1) if what is in front of us is something undesirable to us, do you think our small head got the power to drain blood off the big head? A desirable person is the cause(reason), small head rule over big head is the result.
sweetie, there is something call self control. if you really love the woman, no matter how tempted you are, you will have will power to reject temptations. agree? :p
(2.1) sleeping behind you while attached to you is a wrong move and he's at fault. However I will encourage you to break off with him rather than stray. its best we don't do what we dont want people to do to us.
women being an emotional being, first thought will be revenge. but trust me, the feeling after cheating on the other half just to revenge sucks big time and ended up full of regrets. though i only done it after breaking off, i ended up regretting do it just to spite my ex... it's just hurting myself even more.
(2.2) What if the cause of his inability to satisfy you sexually is due to the fact that he is trying too hard to satisfy you monetarily by working hard earning money? Wouldn't you agree that being more financially well off indirectly put the richer guy in a better situation to sextify you than the less well off guy? the rich guy will even have enough time, without the worry for money, to learn all the tricks you may have never thought of and send you to the ninth heaven every single time while having sex.
i do not agree with you on this. financial stability and sexual ability does not goes hand in hand. for female to find her man inability to satisfy her sexual needs are based on:
1) tool size: as the saying goes, size does matter. i am not saying those huge dicks you see in porn. what i meant is, what if the guy tool is erm... small?
2) ejaculate too fast, ejaculate before sex. once or twice i can understand it's because he is excited, but what if it's all the time?
3) not putting in the effort to know the likes & dislikes of partner. i believe guys preferences in sex right? it's the same for female. if the man doesn't put in the effort to understand his partner's preferences, the chances of the partner to stray is pretty high. it's not that hard to know what a woman like, just ask her. or if she is those shy type, just take note of her body reactions. when a female enjoys herself, her body will definitely have reactions. ;)
(3) honesty is golden. I will never want to betray my beloved's trust. the problem is, how can we account for honesty? all we can do is to try to trust. If he's never been found out, he's assumed to be honest but that doesn't mean he is honest or dishonest. however, I do want an honest woman. She is a rare gem. But how can I prove she is honest? I just have to try to trust.
it's not easy to trust someone. but i always believe that for me to trust a person, it's based on my judgement whether can i trust that person. ultimately, it's whether can you trust your own judgement to trust that person?
Girls cheat too but I will have to admit and say those are really rare cases. :) and most of the time is cos she can feel more love from the other man.
that, i do not agree. there was this instance that i knew this guy A before i knew my ex. Guy A and i have much more things in common than my ex, but guy A has this charisma that will attracts both female and male (aka gays). in the end i choose my ex over guy A even though i knew our feelings for each other is mutual between guy A just because of the lack of security from guy A. even after i was with my ex, i did met up with guy A a few times whereby we could advance our relationship but i did not because i knew i already made my decision to be with my ex. temptation was high, but thinking of the lack of security from guy A did prevent me to sink in deeper.
so my point is, when female cheats, it's not only the lack of love but also the lack of security.
above is just my own opinion. :)
sgjoey
17-02-2012, 02:30 AM
Conventional, moralistic thinking, as indicated by use of words like "cheating", especially, is naive thinking. It is the result of lifelong indoctrination by society, whose attitudes have been (mis)informed by religion and superstition.
A rational approach would just accept the fact that most humans tend to be non-monogamous. We naturally crave variety in most things, including sexual partners. Just accept that for a fact, instead of labelling it as "cheating". Sex is just sex, if no big deal is made out of it.
Much misery caused by needless divorce could have actually been avoided if more people take a more rational approach to sexuality instead of treating it as a grand tragedy when their significant others have other sexual partners.
muscleboi
17-02-2012, 07:23 AM
Conventional, moralistic thinking, as indicated by use of words like "cheating", especially, is naive thinking. It is the result of lifelong indoctrination by society, whose attitudes have been (mis)informed by religion and superstition.
A rational approach would just accept the fact that most humans tend to be non-monogamous. We naturally crave variety in most things, including sexual partners. Just accept that for a fact, instead of labelling it as "cheating". Sex is just sex, if no big deal is made out of it.
Much misery caused by needless divorce could have actually been avoided if more people take a more rational approach to sexuality instead of treating it as a grand tragedy when their significant others have other sexual partners.
it will be nice if all women took up your belief. but most people are selfish, whether if it's media caused or by nature. they want things for only themselves. its easier to settle in the animal kingdom; fight. but humans are alot more sophisticated. try settling the issue with fights and you will know what I mean. :D needless to say, the rate of STDs will also be higher mainly because people only listen enough to act upon the information but not enough to do more such as protecting themselves using condoms. ever heard of people entering the stock market immediately after hearing their hairstylist telling them a particular stock is profitable? they don't even bother checking the risk-reward ratio and many other important factors before diving in. imagine the same impact when people are being informed they are non-monogamous.
married or not, people have the ability to pro-create. marriage is a societal lock for accountability. every child born is given a birth certificate to identify them and their parents, people responsible for the child. if the child/teen/adult were to commit any crime, tracking them down is perceived to be alot easier..at least for this small island..the identity will create fear in each child to behave themselves..and controlling them will in turn be easier..and that's another topic altogether in human and society. :D
come to think of it, what else can you do in life beside working, enjoying (excluding sex), eating, drinking and having sex? :D
muscleboi
17-02-2012, 09:04 AM
Nice "divide & conquer". I shall do likewise for you, smoochie. ;]
sweetie, there is something call self control. if you really love the woman, no matter how tempted you are, you will have will power to reject temptations. agree?
People use words, "if you really love me...you will..." "if you really love me...you will not..." it can be easy to answer the above if you think about how bros here always get rejected by their wives in the name of love. if you will really love the man, you will not always reject having sex right? :cool:
the bottomline is, if you girls reject too often, what else can we do, especially for bros with high sex drive, besides looking for another one? Love no doubt is sweet but loses its taste if its being used as a tool to manipulate.
I believe solving issues in a diplomatic manner. If there's a problem, talk it out. If there's no solution, split. If there's a solution and the solution seeks compromise in order for each other to benefit. Its unhealthy to be one-sided..
for married/attached bros out there, I suggest adding sex in your weekly schedules. It may help. Though doing that does not make the activity spontaneous, imagine the anticipation you and your other half will have when the day to have sex gets closer and closer. :D If you are thinking of making sex spontaneous, you may be waiting for Godot (who never comes..)
women being an emotional being, first thought will be revenge. but trust me, the feeling after cheating on the other half just to revenge sucks big time and ended up full of regrets. though i only done it after breaking off, i ended up regretting do it just to spite my ex... it's just hurting myself even more.
Ya girl, its definitely not healthy. And beware, many men will take the opportunity to get touchy with you when you are at your worst. Revenge is not as sweet as people claim revenge to be.
If your ex is no longer truthful, revenge on him by treating yourself better and leaving him for good. Cry as you may but don't hurt yourself through cheating back.
As far as I'm concerned, I do not welcome relationship cheats back. She can do it once, she can do it again and again and again. Once is enough for me to see her tho-roughly. She can jolly well go look for another one to cheat.
i do not agree with you on this. financial stability and sexual ability does not goes hand in hand. for female to find her man inability to satisfy her sexual needs are based on:
1) tool size: as the saying goes, size does matter. i am not saying those huge dicks you see in porn. what i meant is, what if the guy tool is erm... small?
2) ejaculate too fast, ejaculate before sex. once or twice i can understand it's because he is excited, but what if it's all the time?
3) not putting in the effort to know the likes & dislikes of partner. i believe guys preferences in sex right? it's the same for female. if the man doesn't put in the effort to understand his partner's preferences, the chances of the partner to stray is pretty high. it's not that hard to know what a woman like, just ask her. or if she is those shy type, just take note of her body reactions. when a female enjoys herself, her body will definitely have reactions.
(1) size does matter to the extent that an erected penis must be long enough to have successful penetration. the rest is skill. I'm sure its not exactly the same for all females but sensitive parts of the genital in females are 2 to 3 inches (or less) deep into the vagina. the rest of the vaginal wall is not so sensitive.
(2) Too be honest, the first time my ex bj me, I was shocked and ejaculated immediately after her tongue suddenly touched my tool (of course there was a long heavy petting before that) when we were almost turning in and the room was quite dark. But after that, I am trained. :D what I am trying to say is, "practice makes perfect." Yes you are right. Its not fun if your man ejaculates pre-maturely all the time.
(3) Communication is Key to having great sex! If we don't talk about it, we will never know each other's likes and dislikes, other than using trio and error for shy girls. Some guys will be shocked if girls talk about sex openly. Others will be thrilled to do that. To each his own.
it's not easy to trust someone. but i always believe that for me to trust a person, it's based on my judgement whether can i trust that person. ultimately, it's whether can you trust your own judgement to trust that person?
Yes, having good judgement is important. Your female intuition works perfect here. :) The next step is to give it a try, carefully.
that, i do not agree. there was this instance that i knew this guy A before i knew my ex. Guy A and i have much more things in common than my ex, but guy A has this charisma that will attracts both female and male (aka gays). in the end i choose my ex over guy A even though i knew our feelings for each other is mutual between guy A just because of the lack of security from guy A. even after i was with my ex, i did met up with guy A a few times whereby we could advance our relationship but i did not because i knew i already made my decision to be with my ex. temptation was high, but thinking of the lack of security from guy A did prevent me to sink in deeper.
so my point is, when female cheats, it's not only the lack of love but also the lack of security.
Guy A is great in his soft skills. Women think differently now. Look around in the streets and I see pretty girls with not-so-good-looking guys because either they give the girls a better sense of security or their tongues are good.
It seems that you have a good control of your desires. Luckily Guy A and you didn't get drunk. If not, that only barrier (the lack of security) will disappear in thin air for that moment of lust and pleasure in bed (if he's a play boy).
sgjoey
17-02-2012, 03:21 PM
it will be nice if all women took up your belief. but most people are selfish, whether if it's media caused or by nature. they want things for only themselves. its easier to settle in the animal kingdom; fight. but humans are alot more sophisticated. try settling the issue with fights and you will know what I mean. :D needless to say, the rate of STDs will also be higher mainly because people only listen enough to act upon the information but not enough to do more such as protecting themselves using condoms. ever heard of people entering the stock market immediately after hearing their hairstylist telling them a particular stock is profitable? they don't even bother checking the risk-reward ratio and many other important factors before diving in. imagine the same impact when people are being informed they are non-monogamous.
married or not, people have the ability to pro-create. marriage is a societal lock for accountability. every child born is given a birth certificate to identify them and their parents, people responsible for the child. if the child/teen/adult were to commit any crime, tracking them down is perceived to be alot easier..at least for this small island..the identity will create fear in each child to behave themselves..and controlling them will in turn be easier..and that's another topic altogether in human and society. :D
come to think of it, what else can you do in life beside working, enjoying (excluding sex), eating, drinking and having sex? :D
Lest I be misunderstood, what I said about non-monogamy applies equally to women as well as to men. In other words, if a female decides to take on a lover, her husband shouldn't kick up a big fuss. And the latest science research is supportive of this finding, so it's not just my belief, but belief backed by the best evidence -- humans, both males and females, have a natural tendency to seek sexual variety.
Marriage as a notion for raising families needs updating especially when today, having sex does not mean that children will follow. Concepts such as open marriages are worthy of greater exploration but can only be accepted if all parties involved are sexually enlightened. Unfortunately, even from the postings in this and other threads, as well as from my personal experience, most people are still highly myopic when it comes to sexual matters.
EatPrayLove
18-02-2012, 05:31 PM
Nice "divide & conquer". I shall do likewise for you, smoochie. ;]
Sweetie, here comes your reply. ;]
People use words, "if you really love me...you will..." "if you really love me...you will not..." it can be easy to answer the above if you think about how bros here always get rejected by their wives in the name of love. if you will really love the man, you will not always reject having sex right?
the bottomline is, if you girls reject too often, what else can we do, especially for bros with high sex drive, besides looking for another one? Love no doubt is sweet but loses its taste if its being used as a tool to manipulate.
I believe solving issues in a diplomatic manner. If there's a problem, talk it out. If there's no solution, split. If there's a solution and the solution seeks compromise in order for each other to benefit. Its unhealthy to be one-sided..
for married/attached bros out there, I suggest adding sex in your weekly schedules. It may help. Though doing that does not make the activity spontaneous, imagine the anticipation you and your other half will have when the day to have sex gets closer and closer. If you are thinking of making sex spontaneous, you may be waiting for Godot (who never comes..)
I do agree with you that this problem can be solved diplomatically and the key word is communication and compromising. I still remember watching this taiwan show and this female artiste was sharing how she and her husband had this agreement that if they quarrelled for more than this amount of time, they have to settle it in bed (meaning having sex). so when they were in the act, they couldn't control the laughter and just start laugh and eventually made up (and out). I think this is really a good example of good commmunication and compromising in a married couple.
however, sweetie, i don't quite agree with you saying that love is a tool of manipulation. female being female, they would want their other half to prove how much they love them. ultimately, it's the sense of security that us, female needs to feel in our partner. this is why sometimes female acted like a spoilt brat and demanding certain actions to be done from our partner. :)
(1) size does matter to the extent that an erected penis must be long enough to have successful penetration. the rest is skill. I'm sure its not exactly the same for all females but sensitive parts of the genital in females are 2 to 3 inches (or less) deep into the vagina. the rest of the vaginal wall is not so sensitive.
this, i have to disagree. size does matter simply because with a long and thick manhood, female will feel fully penetrated and the emotional satisfaction is beyond words. :o
(2) Too be honest, the first time my ex bj me, I was shocked and ejaculated immediately after her tongue suddenly touched my tool (of course there was a long heavy petting before that) when we were almost turning in and the room was quite dark. But after that, I am trained. what I am trying to say is, "practice makes perfect." Yes you are right. Its not fun if your man ejaculates pre-maturely all the time.
sweetie, what i meant was ejaculation pre-maturely all the time. I met a few when i was in my teens and i hate the feeling of being left high and dry. sex without intercourse is equivalent to not having sex at all. :o
(3) Communication is Key to having great sex! If we don't talk about it, we will never know each other's likes and dislikes, other than using trio and error for shy girls. Some guys will be shocked if girls talk about sex openly. Others will be thrilled to do that. To each his own.
Yes, communication is key to great sex. but what if the guy is so into himself and totally ignore the sexual needs of his partner? or no matter how he tries, he just couldn't do exactly what his partner had told him? some people are just not talented in that department, if you get what i mean. :p
..... Women think differently now. Look around in the streets and I see pretty girls with not-so-good-looking guys because either they give the girls a better sense of security or their tongues are good.
hmmmm.... nowadays looks aren't that important. it's the character and personality of the person that matters. not forgetting stability and security that a man can provide to his partner.
kokokeith
19-02-2012, 12:19 PM
Seem like an interesting discussion, I shall join to share my experience and maybe some advice from bros and sis here.
Bro here suggest that there is always opportunity to find a FB. Well, in my case, I am with this girl who has a great body, a big pair of tits and great sex techniques. She is slutty but since she is committed to this relationship, she is only slutty to me, at least physically.Sexually, she is my dream girl. I used to visit FL and then one day I suddenly asked myself:"WTF am I doing?" I have this girl who can provide services better than all the FL who only care about money, and most of the times, the FL in this forum is worse than the OKT described, there is no reason to visit FL. Since then, I stopped visiting FL. But with this girl, other than sex, I cannot connect with her emotionally. So for years, I will get very frustrated with the r/s but these thoughts disappearred after a great sex with her.
I started with her thinking of bonking her, but as time passes, I realized that I can't do w/o her sex. Everytime we quarrel, a great sex will normally settle the problem. Then now come the time that she want to settle down and I am having a dillema. Should I settle down with her just because of sex? It's sound very shallow, but for me, great sex really make me forget everything for the time being. I can see that for the coming 10years, if I bonk her every day, I will feel sexified. It's not hard to find a fb, but it's hard to find such a gem. She is also very blur, so if in the future I need some excitement, it's easy to cover up.
It may seem like I am only together with her because of sex. Well, after a few years together, I realized that I also care about her. But this don't stop me from feeling frustrated during day to day interactions. To make matter worse, I had this ex who is the direct opposite. This ex can connect with me emotionally but can't satisfy me sexually. Unlike the current girl, she is very smart and it's hard to have fling if I am with her.
A few years ago, I thought I will just be with my current girl for a while and will get back with my ex. But slowly, I an trapped by my lust and if am actually comfortable with it. Only that emotionally I do not feel happy lest the great sexxion. All the conventional movies will tell you that being emotionally happy is the most important thing. But as a man, if you are not satisfied sexually, it will also become a source of frustration in the future, at least for the next 10years where my little brother is still very itchy.
hickeybites
19-02-2012, 04:35 PM
Seem like an interesting discussion, I shall join to share my experience and maybe some advice from bros and sis here.
Bro here suggest that there is always opportunity to find a FB. Well, in my case, I am with this girl who has a great body, a big pair of tits and great sex techniques. She is slutty but since she is committed to this relationship, she is only slutty to me, at least physically.Sexually, she is my dream girl. I used to visit FL and then one day I suddenly asked myself:"WTF am I doing?" I have this girl who can provide services better than all the FL who only care about money, and most of the times, the FL in this forum is worse than the OKT described, there is no reason to visit FL. Since then, I stopped visiting FL. But with this girl, other than sex, I cannot connect with her emotionally. So for years, I will get very frustrated with the r/s but these thoughts disappearred after a great sex with her.
I started with her thinking of bonking her, but as time passes, I realized that I can't do w/o her sex. Everytime we quarrel, a great sex will normally settle the problem. Then now come the time that she want to settle down and I am having a dillema. Should I settle down with her just because of sex? It's sound very shallow, but for me, great sex really make me forget everything for the time being. I can see that for the coming 10years, if I bonk her every day, I will feel sexified. It's not hard to find a fb, but it's hard to find such a gem. She is also very blur, so if in the future I need some excitement, it's easy to cover up.
It may seem like I am only together with her because of sex. Well, after a few years together, I realized that I also care about her. But this don't stop me from feeling frustrated during day to day interactions. To make matter worse, I had this ex who is the direct opposite. This ex can connect with me emotionally but can't satisfy me sexually. Unlike the current girl, she is very smart and it's hard to have fling if I am with her.
A few years ago, I thought I will just be with my current girl for a while and will get back with my ex. But slowly, I an trapped by my lust and if am actually comfortable with it. Only that emotionally I do not feel happy lest the great sexxion. All the conventional movies will tell you that being emotionally happy is the most important thing. But as a man, if you are not satisfied sexually, it will also become a source of frustration in the future, at least for the next 10years where my little brother is still very itchy.
Aside from considering whether your sex-kitten-gf vs emo-connect-exgf would be a better marriage partner, have you thought carefully if YOU yourself are suited for marriage :rolleyes:?
You've yet to be married & already thinking of possibly seeking flings. Then why bother committing yourself -- better to be single right?
We can't foretell what happens in the future. Sexual compatibility is important no doubt, but to base your union solely on that may be rather risky. In the best case scenario: over the next 10+++yrs your sex-kitten-gf blooms into a sex-tigress, and she maintains her knockout body & boobs; as well as her nirvana-inducing sexual skills. BUT kids, work, bills will come in... How? If she's unable to maintain her USPs (unique selling points) & there was no emotional/mental connection in the first place, love & affection straight out of the window?
Marriage can be either be a blissful union or a miserable entrapment. It's after all a partnership in a way... there may be days of stress (kids, parents, work etc), hardship, financial difficulties, sickness & pain. Ask yourself honestly. If sex alone (- with a wife who blur blur ends up as another weight on your shoulders -) can carry you through & give you strength to toil alone - then maybe you're set for life :p
muscleboi
19-02-2012, 11:57 PM
however, sweetie, i don't quite agree with you saying that love is a tool of manipulation. female being female, they would want their other half to prove how much they love them. ultimately, it's the sense of security that us, female needs to feel in our partner. this is why sometimes female acted like a spoilt brat and demanding certain actions to be done from our partner. :)
Overdoing this, like any other thing, is bad. if you need your bf/husband to prove that they love you by giving in when you disagree having sex every single day, we see proving that we love you is nothing more than a tool. so the key is moderate.
this, i have to disagree. size does matter simply because with a long and thick manhood, female will feel fully penetrated and the emotional satisfaction is beyond words.
to each his own. some female told me they were afraid of big tool cos they feel torn apart. some just love the feeling of being stretched a little more. :p
sweetie, what i meant was ejaculation pre-maturely all the time. I met a few when i was in my teens and i hate the feeling of being left high and dry. sex without intercourse is equivalent to not having sex at all.
I agree. no one is born a sexpert. we all first learn to walk before we can run. in this case, we first learn to cum before learning to control when to cum. :D
Yes, communication is key to great sex. but what if the guy is so into himself and totally ignore the sexual needs of his partner? or no matter how he tries, he just couldn't do exactly what his partner had told him? some people are just not talented in that department, if you get what i mean.
too bad for his girl. that's why LSD girl should find LSD guy as their marriage partner so likewise for HSD people. the world will be much better.
hmmmm.... nowadays looks aren't that important. it's the character and personality of the person that matters. not forgetting stability and security that a man can provide to his partner.
i find women love to use security and stability to camouflage the direct requirement they find in a man, wealth. if a guy is rich, stability is almost guaranteed (unless he's into illegal business). if a guy is rich, even if he cheats on his wife, his wife can still find security in the money he has..
and of course I seriously don't blame modern women having that mindset. money is simply the single most important thing in this world that we need to be secured with food and shelter. women seek money(security and stability) so that their offsprings can be well taken care of. in the caveman age, physical strength is the security and stability women seek from men. in this time and age, money is the single biggest equivalent for security and stability.
the reason why they say they seek security and stability without mentioning about money is so that people don't see them as looking for cashcows. please enlighten me if you find the above not agreeable and I will love to know why. :)
muscleboi
20-02-2012, 12:12 AM
Lest I be misunderstood, what I said about non-monogamy applies equally to women as well as to men. In other words, if a female decides to take on a lover, her husband shouldn't kick up a big fuss. And the latest science research is supportive of this finding, so it's not just my belief, but belief backed by the best evidence -- humans, both males and females, have a natural tendency to seek sexual variety.
Marriage as a notion for raising families needs updating especially when today, having sex does not mean that children will follow. Concepts such as open marriages are worthy of greater exploration but can only be accepted if all parties involved are sexually enlightened. Unfortunately, even from the postings in this and other threads, as well as from my personal experience, most people are still highly myopic when it comes to sexual matters.
i've got a radical idea.
In the future, humans can rely on a central sperm bank, mandatory sperm donation by males, as a source for reproduction.
women before 30 who want to give birth can just go to the bank for sperms. they can be presented with a catalog so that they can choose what kind of baby to give birth to. women upon reaching 30 is a must to get pregnant will be told to get sperms from the bank or have sex with any male they so choose to. :D
the government will be the one taking care of the pregnant women after they have reached 2months of pregnancy or to the stage they are needed to be taken care of, which ever comes first, until they give birth.
after they give birth, they can choose to keep the baby or let it stay in the hospital to wait for adoption.
babies, after 1 year of birth, who are still in the hospital because no one adopts them, will be sent to the orphanage where they will continue to be developed as useful citizens
most importantly, make abortion illegal.
the above method can stop people from aborting as all living expenses of the pregnant women will be taken care of during their pregnancy and that abortion is illegal.
under the above system, there will not be such a thing called marriage. without marriage there can never be such things called divorce or cheating.
RealEstateGuy
20-02-2012, 01:04 AM
With the increasingly high cost of living in Singapore, will you still consider marrying? Or will you just ons / pcc / fl all the way till you are old?
I think every bro knows the pros of getting married and staying single so I shall just state the cons..
cons of getting married:
1) hdb loan - risk of getting heavily in debt and if you are out of job, there's almost no chance you can clear the debts
2) child expenses - if you calculate the total cost up till you send your child to college, the expenses are enormous. we will not know how much will that be in future but it will definitely be higher than the current cost because of inflation.
If you add the above two together, just having a normal day job will sink you into the depths of debt once you get married and have kids.
cons of staying single:
1) no kids to look after you - if you look at statistics, apparently many grown up kids are sending their parents to nursing homes (especially after the encouragement from the government...) so I wonder if that con still stand.
2) no permanent sex partner - though some bros are married, most are complaining not having enough and want variety. since getting married risk us becoming nuns and monks, why bother taking such a risk?
as long as we take the necessary precautions, hiring FLs may not be as bad as it seems...agree?
I think just hiring FL and be sentimental on bed (with lovey dovey words like "i love you") for that one session and after that, forget about everything and carry on with life..isnt it more low costing??
bros, enlighten me with your opinions..
Braddah, your post fails to value to love and be loved which are priceless. Also, Braddah, you fail to price in extending the family legacy which is also priceless. Braddah, if pay to play is the way to go for you then that's great for you. Braddah, I just say its not normal and and you will be unhappy if you thinks its the right thing to do. SG society maybe er thinks you are a fool?
sgjoey
20-02-2012, 06:17 AM
Braddah, your post fails to value to love and be loved which are priceless. Also, Braddah, you fail to price in extending the family legacy which is also priceless. Braddah, if pay to play is the way to go for you then that's great for you. Braddah, I just say its not normal and and you will be unhappy if you thinks its the right thing to do. SG society maybe er thinks you are a fool?
Science has the evidence to show that monogamy is not normal. Those who are monogamous either have low libidos or suffer in stealth using outlets such as porn. There is also lots of tension and marital discord because of attempts to remain "faithful". Humans have lived with monogamy for ten thousand years (or so) with very mixed results. But through cultural indoctrination from childhood, most people still assume that one man-one woman is the only way to go. It clearly isn't, and the sooner one wakes up to this, the greater the chances of becoming a happier person.
muscleboi
20-02-2012, 08:01 AM
Braddah, your post fails to value to love and be loved which are priceless. Also, Braddah, you fail to price in extending the family legacy which is also priceless. Braddah, if pay to play is the way to go for you then that's great for you. Braddah, I just say its not normal and and you will be unhappy if you thinks its the right thing to do. SG society maybe er thinks you are a fool?
Science has the evidence to show that monogamy is not normal. Those who are monogamous either have low libidos or suffer in stealth using outlets such as porn. There is also lots of tension and marital discord because of attempts to remain "faithful". Humans have lived with monogamy for ten thousand years (or so) with very mixed results. But through cultural indoctrination from childhood, most people still assume that one man-one woman is the only way to go. It clearly isn't, and the sooner one wakes up to this, the greater the chances of becoming a happier person.
I agree in what sgjoey bro says about what science has proven. people getting together in the name of love is actually nothing more than just a chemical reaction in our bodies which lasts for 18 months or so. after the chemistry is gone, we are pretty much left on our own. love between couples is temporary. it is not difficult to realize that those who strayed are the males ones who are willing to spend money on mistresses and the more physically well maintained female ones. the ones who remain "faithful" are more likely the less good looking ones and stingy ones. lol. cos if you boil everything down to simple animal logic, people go for pretty things and power, in this case, money attracts more opposite genders. fortunately or unfortunately, people are alot more sophisticated so as to come out with the marriage concept.
however people in society cannot accept non-monogamy, especially the government and the female. government cannot afford to lose marriage as the effective system to raise up the next generation of worker bees to fuel the country's economy. female age faster and if they were to accept non-monogamy, some of their value is gonna drop to rock bottom as without marriage, the males are not obliged to take care of them anymore. and of course I'm just generalizing here. some males are weaker than females and some females will love the idea of non-monogamy. the problem is that the current number is not enough to tilt the table.
muscleboi
20-02-2012, 08:17 AM
You can play, flirt, f around for all you want, WHEN you are single, but once you meet the right one, time to stop all your nonsense. Being a victim of two-timed, not once, but twice.. all i can say is, it totally sucks, and it hurts really badly.
Just imagine that you are working hard to bring money home to your wife, and home.. but behind your back shes screwing someone else..and at the end when you divorce.. you still have to pay her?! wth... my friend's ex wife, was fooling around behind his back, and despite all the evidence against her? he was ordered to give her half of his assets... millions of dollars worth of properties etc.. for what?
the law is outdated. the lawmakers will not see that as an issue until some thing big happens. look at the fertility rate and number of people getting married to locals? the effect is starting to become more obvious..
nuclearkid
20-02-2012, 08:39 AM
Braddah, your post fails to value to love and be loved which are priceless. Also, Braddah, you fail to price in extending the family legacy which is also priceless. Braddah, if pay to play is the way to go for you then that's great for you. Braddah, I just say its not normal and and you will be unhappy if you thinks its the right thing to do. SG society maybe er thinks you are a fool?
Braddah, to some people, love is something imagined and elusive. It shouldn't be said that it isn't normal nor the right thing to do as for many people, it just doesn't happen. Its like seeing the paranormal, do you believe in it? I have experienced it a couple of times but for those who haven't, they will tell you it isn't for real.
kokokeith
20-02-2012, 01:17 PM
We can't foretell what happens in the future. Sexual compatibility is important no doubt, but to base your union solely on that may be rather risky. In the best case scenario: over the next 10+++yrs your sex-kitten-gf blooms into a sex-tigress, and she maintains her knockout body & boobs; as well as her nirvana-inducing sexual skills. BUT kids, work, bills will come in... How? If she's unable to maintain her USPs (unique selling points) & there was no emotional/mental connection in the first place, love & affection straight out of the window?
This is a good point and the point I am driving at. Whether she will be bloomed into a sex-tigress remains to be seen. There is a discussion intiated by muscleboi which argues that the sex and emotion should be separated. Fundamentally, I agree with that. But the structure of society also means that it is practically unachievable in most circumstances lest cheating. As a practitioner of that theory via cheating, I realised that it is inherently stressful. There are some people who derived thrills from being smart and juggling well. For me, I considered myself juggling pretty well. But it is still stressful and I do not really enjoy it though I was easily succumb to temptations.
I don't agree that men need varieties. At least for my case, if there is a girl that can satisfy my sexual needs super well, I will be contented. Which happens to my current girl.
So for my current girl, I can foresee that she can maintain her USP for the next 10 years, which means that I will remain 'faithful' for that period of time. As for my ex, there is no guarantee that I can even remain 'faithful' for that period of time though I am emotionally happier with her. Which is worse?
Aside from considering whether your sex-kitten-gf vs emo-connect-exgf would be a better marriage partner, have you thought carefully if YOU yourself are suited for marriage :rolleyes:?
You've yet to be married & already thinking of possibly seeking flings. Then why bother committing yourself -- better to be single right?
You are probably right and its something that I have thought about.
While I have seen people who are happily married, there are also people (and my perception is the latter is more than the former) who actually cheated after marriage. So how many people are actually suited to get married? Why do we want to get married? One of the reasons is probably the companionship thoughout the lifetime.
I am in pretty good shape now and I have the liberty to choose a lifetime partner. Do I want to wait till I am a dirty old man and die alone in the street? ;)
hickeybites
20-02-2012, 04:24 PM
This is a good point and the point I am driving at. Whether she will be bloomed into a sex-tigress remains to be seen. There is a discussion intiated by muscleboi which argues that the sex and emotion should be separated. Fundamentally, I agree with that. But the structure of society also means that it is practically unachievable in most circumstances lest cheating. As a practitioner of that theory via cheating, I realised that it is inherently stressful. There are some people who derived thrills from being smart and juggling well. For me, I considered myself juggling pretty well. But it is still stressful and I do not really enjoy it though I was easily succumb to temptations.
I don't agree that men need varieties. At least for my case, if there is a girl that can satisfy my sexual needs super well, I will be contented. Which happens to my current girl.
So for my current girl, I can foresee that she can maintain her USP for the next 10 years, which means that I will remain 'faithful' for that period of time. As for my ex, there is no guarantee that I can even remain 'faithful' for that period of time though I am emotionally happier with her. Which is worse?
While I have seen people who are happily married, there are also people (and my perception is the latter is more than the former) who actually cheated after marriage. So how many people are actually suited to get married? Why do we want to get married? One of the reasons is probably the companionship thoughout the lifetime.
I am in pretty good shape now and I have the liberty to choose a lifetime partner. Do I want to wait till I am a dirty old man and die alone in the street? ;)
Pretty valid points & I applaud you for being honest about no guarantees on remaining faithful.
We are constantly evolving & our priorities & values do change at every phase of our lives. I know that myself & some of my friends (both males & females) have come to wish for different things compared to a decade ago. Some of us married someone who complemented us intellectually & emotionally because at that time we seriously did not "crave" sex :p; presently there's often that wistful wish for more physical excitement.
Those who sought to have sex-kittens/gorgeous vases as spouses, have come to bemoan the lack of mental connection & emotional intimacy.
There are plenty of threads abound in sbf which mirror what I witness in my own circle of friends... sobering I must say...
In spite of actually seeing & experiencing wreckage & having close shaves myself, I still believe in matrimony. Not just to have someone to keep me company; but someone whom I want to support, take care of & toil with, and with whom I want to raise children with. :) Perhaps I'm a masochist & perhaps it's all just bodily chemicals going haywire... hahaha..
Cheers... interesting discussion :)
EatPrayLove
20-02-2012, 10:47 PM
Overdoing this, like any other thing, is bad. if you need your bf/husband to prove that they love you by giving in when you disagree having sex every single day, we see proving that we love you is nothing more than a tool. so the key is moderate.
yes, key is moderation plus good communication & respect. take for example, wifey work everyday, reach home still have to cook, clean the house and take care of the kids. you can't expect her to have the mood to have sex with you right? :)
that's why LSD girl should find LSD guy as their marriage partner so likewise for HSD people. the world will be much better.
can i disagree with you on this? no doubt sex is important but should never be one of the factors to consider when comes to marriage. besides, i believe the law or attraction of likes attracting likes. :p
i find women love to use security and stability to camouflage the direct requirement they find in a man, wealth. if a guy is rich, stability is almost guaranteed (unless he's into illegal business). if a guy is rich, even if he cheats on his wife, his wife can still find security in the money he has..
and of course I seriously don't blame modern women having that mindset. money is simply the single most important thing in this world that we need to be secured with food and shelter. women seek money(security and stability) so that their offsprings can be well taken care of. in the caveman age, physical strength is the security and stability women seek from men. in this time and age, money is the single biggest equivalent for security and stability.
the reason why they say they seek security and stability without mentioning about money is so that people don't see them as looking for cashcows. please enlighten me if you find the above not agreeable and I will love to know why.
sweetie, i think you have mistaken my taking on this.
when i say stability and security, what i meant was;
stability: to be able to have a stable job, stable income to be able to pay the bills, housing, kids, parents and savings for emergency together as a married couple.
security: someone with good character and personality who understand his partner, showing care and concern to his partner and someone who have mutual trust and respect for each other and no bad habits like gambling.
again, the above is just my own opinion as a female and doesn't relfects on the female as whole. :)
muscleboi
21-02-2012, 05:22 PM
yes, key is moderation plus good communication & respect. take for example, wifey work everyday, reach home still have to cook, clean the house and take care of the kids. you can't expect her to have the mood to have sex with you right?
I will help if it's me. of course talk is cheap. anyone can say but not everyone can do. sweaty sex after house cleaning can be sexy. :D provided it's not too smelly..my nose is sensitive. ;)
can i disagree with you on this? no doubt sex is important but should never be one of the factors to consider when comes to marriage. besides, i believe the law or attraction of likes attracting likes.
unless both parties can't physically do the act, I think sex should be a consideration looking at so many married bros here posting their dissatisfaction with their wives and forced(indirectly) to cheat. yes, I believe in the law of attraction too. :)
sweetie, i think you have mistaken my taking on this.
when i say stability and security, what i meant was;
stability: to be able to have a stable job, stable income to be able to pay the bills, housing, kids, parents and savings for emergency together as a married couple.
security: someone with good character and personality who understand his partner, showing care and concern to his partner and someone who have mutual trust and respect for each other and no bad habits like gambling.
again, the above is just my own opinion as a female and doesn't relfects on the female as whole.
ahh, then you got a point there. in a way, wealth can solve the above issues but also create new problems (guys who have extra Moolah are said to be more prone to cheating) so you are looking for a just-right-amount-of-wealth guy, not too little not too much. :D
EatPrayLove
21-02-2012, 07:59 PM
I will help if it's me. of course talk is cheap. anyone can say but not everyone can do.
but darling, how many men in SG are willing to do so?:rolleyes:
ahh, then you got a point there. in a way, wealth can solve the above issues but also create new problems (guys who have extra Moolah are said to be more prone to cheating) so you are looking for a just-right-amount-of-wealth guy, not too little not too much.
there's this chinese phrase: 门当户对. it's kinda traditional, but i still believe in it. i believe in finding a partner with similarity rather than differences. meaning, everything must be equal or according to ratio. :)
Toyota Honda
22-02-2012, 12:16 PM
this is interesting...
from a female POV, if there is a choice, i would choose to be single rather than getting into marriage. simply because cost of living is really high and the fear of being cheated by husband is too much for me to bear.
but then again, all female craved for that sense of belong and fulfilment to have a complete family which they can call their own. not too sure if men felt the same?
I think I can answer you.
I too, feel the sense of belonging to have a complete familly. Just that I cant seem to settle down with the right one.
I admit, I play around. but that is because I have lost the faith in marriage and most girls. It seems like the good ones are alreadybtaken and I was too slow in getting them since I took on a very different career path than the normal Sporean guy. And by the time I am ready to have a family, I can't find.
Sometimes, I think I work hard for my nieces ad nephews future rather than my own kids, if I ever have one.
Toyota Honda
22-02-2012, 12:23 PM
In my most ideal world, I think if you are be able to find a woman who have the following qualities
1) who don't mind the fact that you do not want to be married/tied down.
2) who loves sex as much as you do
3) who is willing to bear you children without you being committed to marriage.
Of course you must be responsible for her, and the children lives. You must have the financial capabilities to support her(ie pay for the house, household, car, etc). In this situation you can still have a family and have sex all the time, without being married.
If things turn sour, you don't have split your assets with her, and won't turn too messy. Afterall you have been single all these while.
Very true.
Actually there are 2 girls who knows each other in my life who are like that. Just that I feel great disservice doing that to them because they are so understandingand so nice. That is y I have an open policyto them an want them to seek for their furture partners out there before committing such ridiculous terms with me.
muscleboi
25-02-2012, 09:22 AM
this article, http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2007/07/22/1185042948159.html ,that I grabbed from this bro's thread, http://sammyboyforum.com/showthread.php?t=224293&page=2 ,supports the point of modern day living. thanks bro.
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