Dakejay
04-05-2013, 02:47 PM
Dear bros,
I know this topic that I am opening up will invite some form of critical remarks. Well, hold your gun first. If you are those who are strongly against my topic then you can leave now (say with all politeness)
This is going to be a long write with not much sex action (though not totally without) so if you just want hot sex story, leaves.
This is a heartfelt sharing. I know by now some of you alr wanted to post sentence like "wrong thread" ect. No, I don't think it's in the wrong thread because it involves FLs and WLs, both of which we go to them for PAID sex in the first place (or so we think?)
I decided to start this topic base on 2 reasons.
No. 1: from some posting by bros, I discovered that some of the bros go there not just because of sex but also emotional support.
No. 2: I visited my first FLs after a very heart breaking relationship issue. I used to be very religious, even having impure thoughts of girls will cause me to feel bad. I find that I am weakest to temptation when emotionally down. Going to Fls may seem wrong to some people but for a moment I feel I am not judged or condemned and this girl I am with actually appreciates me.
Before I did this, I'd advise my friends that sex workers are but, sex workers. They are doing a business deal, no money no talk. After you're done, that's it, case closed. One should not feel attached to them. To seek a true relationship we have to do the traditional way; get to know a girl, befriend her, know her better, clicked then progress to marriage.
However as you all know' it's always easy to advice others, especially when we're not in the picture ourselves or had never gone through it.
Below is my heart felt sharing. I am not blaming anyone. I know I am responsible for myself. However in the spirit of sharing, pls do not judge me. I’ve had enough alr.
I visited my first Fls abt a mth back. I was having a very long and suffering struggle with a group of people whom i used to respect, whom had journey with me during my difficult times. People whom I listened to, think their advice is the best in the world. I basically entrust my life and how I think to them. Then one day I just gave an honest feedback, I see their true color. The same person who have been teaching me to have a teachable heart, to be humble to accept teaching by others, turns out to be the worst self-righteous person I've ever met.
As days go by I discover how dominating he actually is. He basically expect everyone to think the way he thinks. Then I also realise the way he talks to his mother and his wife are not what I think person of his status should be. After a very long struggle I told them I am leaving the group. This opens the can of worms and started a few rounds of so called “counselling and loving talks”.
They always begin by expressing their concern for me. The problem is, the things that they think are a concern to them, they will conclude that i will surely end up what they think might happen to me. Outwardly seem very caring but it is a form of spiritual control.
Some friends (also friends of his) who knew about this and who see what I see did advise me to leave. However it's really not easy for me to just go. You see, when I was out of job, he did help me a lot. He is always extending a helping hand to me.
I'd wanted to leave that group 4yrs ago (so you see how long I struggled), it is this that held me back. However how I got to break this bondage is, I slowly realise there's something very wrong about him.
Outwardly he is always helping others and sacrificing for others, putting others before self. There’s always a very self-sacrificial reason behind his actions. When times I asked why certain action was taken. (i ask simply I don't understand, also wanting to learn from him), he will take it as he is being questioned for his good action, he will look very pitiful, like he's being prosecuted for doing good. To me, I am just asking a question. I know I ask in a very respectful manner. He just didn’t give people a chance, he just jump to that reaction and make me feel very bad even just by asking. So I stooped asking him and thinks I am wrong to question my leader. From then on, I think whatever he does is correct.
Soon I found out that he has a very low opinion about others (think lowly about others) For example, when I did something to help others, he will not see it as I am helping but the first thing that come to his mind is I am trying to take advantage for my own gain. When I asked him why he just said he is joking. However out of the heart the mouth speaks. This happen constantly. Why is it that when he does things he knows he has a very godly motive while others do things because they are up to selfish gain? If he do things out of a good motive then shouldn’t he think of others the same?
He is constantly watching what I said and if it doesn’t sound like what he think is right he’s call me, sms me or send me long email telling me he is concern for me and he wants me to change for the better. Sometimes just because I use the word “shit”, he will be “talking to me”. There’s no need to explain to him coz he will not listen.
I used to think maybe he is right and maybe I have too many area to change so I tell myself to just obey. But in my spirit it just seem not right. True enough my mum started to comment that I’ve changed. She said I’ve become very self-righteous. I expect others to think the way I think. Soon I start to have quarrels with my mum over why she did not buy the noodle I wanted. Mind you I did not even tell her what I wanted, I expect her to think how I think!
Some of my close friends started to leave me. The funny thing is, this was the period I am closest to him cause I really put in effort to think how he would think.
Since he has always tell me he is concerned for me that’s why he need to speak in to my life, speaking the truth out of love even when it is difficult for him to talk to me, I decided that I shall talk to him too, because I treat him as best friend. Base on the same spirit, I talked to him but that’s was when all hell break lose, now I see the true colour of him. I did not even expect him to accept my feedback, just need him to listen and consider. I understand that nobody is perfect. I also know that there might be error on my part I will never expect him to agree to all I said.
This person who has always been teaching me how to be a better person, to be willing to listen to others, is no any more mature than a kid, who do not even have 1% willingness to listen. Now I know how insecure this person is, cannot accept things not done his way. Even some of the so called hokkien peng contractors, whose every few sentence contain the fXXk and cb word I came across are much much more humble than him.
He is still sending sms telling me I need help and I need the truth. I was pretty angry at first because this is his way of asserting he is right and I am the only one need help.
From being heartbroken to anger, to sadness. Now my view is no need to be angry. I need to move on and focus on the posistive things in life. My goal now is to earn better income, treat my mum better. Also to appreciate friends around me.
I not am saying I am perfect or I always take in what others think of me, but at least I do consider what others tell me. Anyway if you ask me do I regret these few years being there? At first yes but now I am thankful. I am an emotionally weak person but through this I became not easily disturb.
Now if you are wondering what’s this got to do with my topic….stay tuned
Thanks for reading.
I know this topic that I am opening up will invite some form of critical remarks. Well, hold your gun first. If you are those who are strongly against my topic then you can leave now (say with all politeness)
This is going to be a long write with not much sex action (though not totally without) so if you just want hot sex story, leaves.
This is a heartfelt sharing. I know by now some of you alr wanted to post sentence like "wrong thread" ect. No, I don't think it's in the wrong thread because it involves FLs and WLs, both of which we go to them for PAID sex in the first place (or so we think?)
I decided to start this topic base on 2 reasons.
No. 1: from some posting by bros, I discovered that some of the bros go there not just because of sex but also emotional support.
No. 2: I visited my first FLs after a very heart breaking relationship issue. I used to be very religious, even having impure thoughts of girls will cause me to feel bad. I find that I am weakest to temptation when emotionally down. Going to Fls may seem wrong to some people but for a moment I feel I am not judged or condemned and this girl I am with actually appreciates me.
Before I did this, I'd advise my friends that sex workers are but, sex workers. They are doing a business deal, no money no talk. After you're done, that's it, case closed. One should not feel attached to them. To seek a true relationship we have to do the traditional way; get to know a girl, befriend her, know her better, clicked then progress to marriage.
However as you all know' it's always easy to advice others, especially when we're not in the picture ourselves or had never gone through it.
Below is my heart felt sharing. I am not blaming anyone. I know I am responsible for myself. However in the spirit of sharing, pls do not judge me. I’ve had enough alr.
I visited my first Fls abt a mth back. I was having a very long and suffering struggle with a group of people whom i used to respect, whom had journey with me during my difficult times. People whom I listened to, think their advice is the best in the world. I basically entrust my life and how I think to them. Then one day I just gave an honest feedback, I see their true color. The same person who have been teaching me to have a teachable heart, to be humble to accept teaching by others, turns out to be the worst self-righteous person I've ever met.
As days go by I discover how dominating he actually is. He basically expect everyone to think the way he thinks. Then I also realise the way he talks to his mother and his wife are not what I think person of his status should be. After a very long struggle I told them I am leaving the group. This opens the can of worms and started a few rounds of so called “counselling and loving talks”.
They always begin by expressing their concern for me. The problem is, the things that they think are a concern to them, they will conclude that i will surely end up what they think might happen to me. Outwardly seem very caring but it is a form of spiritual control.
Some friends (also friends of his) who knew about this and who see what I see did advise me to leave. However it's really not easy for me to just go. You see, when I was out of job, he did help me a lot. He is always extending a helping hand to me.
I'd wanted to leave that group 4yrs ago (so you see how long I struggled), it is this that held me back. However how I got to break this bondage is, I slowly realise there's something very wrong about him.
Outwardly he is always helping others and sacrificing for others, putting others before self. There’s always a very self-sacrificial reason behind his actions. When times I asked why certain action was taken. (i ask simply I don't understand, also wanting to learn from him), he will take it as he is being questioned for his good action, he will look very pitiful, like he's being prosecuted for doing good. To me, I am just asking a question. I know I ask in a very respectful manner. He just didn’t give people a chance, he just jump to that reaction and make me feel very bad even just by asking. So I stooped asking him and thinks I am wrong to question my leader. From then on, I think whatever he does is correct.
Soon I found out that he has a very low opinion about others (think lowly about others) For example, when I did something to help others, he will not see it as I am helping but the first thing that come to his mind is I am trying to take advantage for my own gain. When I asked him why he just said he is joking. However out of the heart the mouth speaks. This happen constantly. Why is it that when he does things he knows he has a very godly motive while others do things because they are up to selfish gain? If he do things out of a good motive then shouldn’t he think of others the same?
He is constantly watching what I said and if it doesn’t sound like what he think is right he’s call me, sms me or send me long email telling me he is concern for me and he wants me to change for the better. Sometimes just because I use the word “shit”, he will be “talking to me”. There’s no need to explain to him coz he will not listen.
I used to think maybe he is right and maybe I have too many area to change so I tell myself to just obey. But in my spirit it just seem not right. True enough my mum started to comment that I’ve changed. She said I’ve become very self-righteous. I expect others to think the way I think. Soon I start to have quarrels with my mum over why she did not buy the noodle I wanted. Mind you I did not even tell her what I wanted, I expect her to think how I think!
Some of my close friends started to leave me. The funny thing is, this was the period I am closest to him cause I really put in effort to think how he would think.
Since he has always tell me he is concerned for me that’s why he need to speak in to my life, speaking the truth out of love even when it is difficult for him to talk to me, I decided that I shall talk to him too, because I treat him as best friend. Base on the same spirit, I talked to him but that’s was when all hell break lose, now I see the true colour of him. I did not even expect him to accept my feedback, just need him to listen and consider. I understand that nobody is perfect. I also know that there might be error on my part I will never expect him to agree to all I said.
This person who has always been teaching me how to be a better person, to be willing to listen to others, is no any more mature than a kid, who do not even have 1% willingness to listen. Now I know how insecure this person is, cannot accept things not done his way. Even some of the so called hokkien peng contractors, whose every few sentence contain the fXXk and cb word I came across are much much more humble than him.
He is still sending sms telling me I need help and I need the truth. I was pretty angry at first because this is his way of asserting he is right and I am the only one need help.
From being heartbroken to anger, to sadness. Now my view is no need to be angry. I need to move on and focus on the posistive things in life. My goal now is to earn better income, treat my mum better. Also to appreciate friends around me.
I not am saying I am perfect or I always take in what others think of me, but at least I do consider what others tell me. Anyway if you ask me do I regret these few years being there? At first yes but now I am thankful. I am an emotionally weak person but through this I became not easily disturb.
Now if you are wondering what’s this got to do with my topic….stay tuned
Thanks for reading.