Married with kids but no sex life

[Hardaway1818]

This is not a story but rather just me ranting about my situation.

Not sure if this is the right place to post. Sorry if it wastes any of your time reading this.

I am supposedly to have a very good life. Have a good wife, young kids, good career with good pay, own a house and drives a good car. Nothing much to complain about. Only regret is that I cant have a proper sex life with my wife anymore due to a medical problem.

Mid-thirties, good sex drive but nowhere to vent. Dont like commercial sex as it's too mechanical.

Lookd like I am quite stucked haha

[BBBBW]

Trust me, Bro. I feel for you. I am almost in the same situation - except that I am just too tired after work to make love and my wife is too busy with our son and the not-yet-born girl to do so.. Working hours and stress level in Singapore really sucks.. Take care though. No point going for commercial sex as the feel is just not correct; it may not also not be as clean as you imagine..

BBBBW

[micmac888]

From ur post I assume medical problem is ur wife ? Absolutely no way to fuck her like the wild animal in u ? That's the case go eat out. But no need to tell her if really is the case. She will figure it out and likely keep quiet so long as ur extra curricular activities never affect ur responsibilities job and family man. If u can control urself from the emotional exhilaration arising from the hunt(s) and subsequent time management issues associated with the hunts.

[georgemagnum]

My peers feel the same as u do ... Passing phase that most couples go thru
?
I always tell my frens to communicate more and wear less at home lor :D

gm

[BiRd13]

I can feel you bro...
Same goes with my side...
However, different reason only...

For me, my wife is too tired and 'stress' after work, and don't wish to make love... Especially with kids around... As we encountered several occassion that when we make love when kids are sleeping (we all zz in the same room), got some 'misunderstand' causes... And since then, we only make love when kids are out... (Like out for school... or sometimes they stay at pil place...)

However, been several months since we did not have sex... nor even intimacy.... Like foreplay or even hugging and kissing.... sigh...

[lightenz]

So situation here. Wife simply not interested anymore. Not sure why. Seems like many bros are experiencing the same problem, feels much relieve knowing that it's a common problem.

[Alan060113]

same problem face by most of the guy in sg. Wife usually after give birth that they will lose interest in sex as they felt that they had done their duty and ORD.
For guys with high sex drive,either DIY or eat out.

[Devil Reds]

Haizzz..... same case here too.
tt's why I got to release my army to an 'outsourcing' company lor
I know it's a lame excuse....but small head rule over big head!!!!! :(

[Latte]

Same situation here. Didn't have sex with wife for 9 months. (Only once after she gave birth) and never did when she was pregnant. Total around 18 months fuck once only.

Let me analyze for you 3 choices.

1. Find a gf aka fb. I found one. Problem is have to give some love and scared in future got problem. Good bonk though and she knows I am married.

2. Find a fwb. I found one as well. She's a maid and quite pretty. Already ok to be fwb but always want to meet and ended up cancel. So waiting to upz.

3. Go for commercial sex lor. After getting a gf, i find my wife becoming suspicious and always check on me. Gf also wants attention. Abit regret and wish I just go for commercial ones. Fuck and Go.

[peppermint]

Myself like ts, faces about the same situation concerning sex. most of us are tired after work and looking after kids, and there will be no mood or opportunity to do it . especially if propose for sex already then get rejected due to reasons like tired, then becomes harder to ask . like what ts said, commercial sex that is too mechanical is not nice, so end up both ways also cannot be satisfied.

i would think that maybe , men like us can form a group of friends, and gather together for some past time, like pubbing, gambling (for fun) or whatever.

[Coffeecans]

I guess like the others I have the same prob too. Work, and then take care of kids, leaving the intimate times lesser and lesser.

But for me I guess its not really affecting me. I guess when you see your very own wife go through the delivery, you would feel that pain. Perhaps going to commercial sex would not really be fair. Just my thoughts. For me its easier cos I have another passion which is cooking so its not that difficult.

[Absolute]

Still wondering whether all of you have regretted getting married.

I guess most will instinctively insist that you have not regretted.

Nature has a way to create the conditions for two opposite sex to come together and procreate in the heat of the moment. Human beings are no different from animals in this aspect.

Then the real taste of life comes after the next generation is born. Nature dictates that since the next generation is born, the couple will have to expend all their resouces (energy, time, finance, etc) to protect and nurture their offspring to be strong enough to survive in the harsh environment.

So the order is sex first, suffer later. Of course many will console themselves by insisting that this suffering is worthwhile and enjoyable because at the end of the day, you have children to spend time with and talk to.

Good luck to all of you!

[littlecunt]

Dear bros,

There are many ways in order to persuade women.. Somemore as husband and wife, can always have a talk.

If everything fails. Try those pills

1. Lybrido
2. Hersolution

Reference:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2331391/Lybrido-Viagra-pill-women-Impressive-trials-mean-sale-years.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

http://www.hersolution.com/

I never tried before, but if my wife has no desire to have sex, i will probably recommend these pills.


Hope it helps someone.

[TaoRen2005]

wow bro great ideal,, please count me in,, lol... i was deprived for good sex for ages liao,, knn.. sianz...
:mad:

Myself like ts, faces about the same situation concerning sex. most of us are tired after work and looking after kids, and there will be no mood or opportunity to do it . especially if propose for sex already then get rejected due to reasons like tired, then becomes harder to ask . like what ts said, commercial sex that is too mechanical is not nice, so end up both ways also cannot be satisfied.

i would think that maybe , men like us can form a group of friends, and gather together for some past time, like pubbing, gambling (for fun) or whatever.

[Hardaway1818]

haha i am so amazed of the number of bros here who are 天涯同命鸟. Somehow it just made me feel better as i am not alone (Ah Q mentality).

I never regretted getting married and love my wife and kids. Would never bear to do anything to hurt the family.

Just lamenting a bit here haha. Life still goes on and I guess i can live out my sexual fantasies by writing more stories hahaha

[LovePotion]

HAIZ... understand how u feel. Usually when we are married, we would tend to envy ppl that are still singles... and when we r single, we hope that we could get married soon... i think it is difficult to balance well...

[martins10]

Was just talking to my OC about this in the car just now. So now we are getting a domestic helper and hope can improve the situation after no. 2 is due. I think communication is very impt here.

Thanks Bro Hardaway for writing the stories to keep the lonely birds here occupied.

[benjerry13]

haha i am so amazed of the number of bros here who are 天涯同命鸟. Somehow it just made me feel better as i am not alone (Ah Q mentality).

I never regretted getting married and love my wife and kids. Would never bear to do anything to hurt the family.

Just lamenting a bit here haha. Life still goes on and I guess i can live out my sexual fantasies by writing more stories hahaha


I agree... wife will sian one day, commercial sex is too money orientated. despite all the GFE, i still feel lousy sometimes after many a session. FB is ideal but you really must manage it well.

Unless the girl same par, otherwise it cannot last and keep finding damn sian

[viewsonic]

There is always a way out......It's all really depend on yourself, how much risk u're willing to take...

[ls460]

My experience is to go holiday with wife alone without the kids, let pil or parent take care and go for regular short trips. For us, we travel to neighbouring countries at least 6 times a year to enjoy the time together and also always remember to give her small surprises gifts during and before the get away..

[KobeBeef]

The wife must do her duty to love her man in sexual needs. If cannot, then it is better for the man to find it elsewhere.

[CPVictim]

Bro Hardaway,
I feel you're in a tough situation. Like you I have no family sex life. I have high libido and I give vent to it outside. As I age I noticed just straight commercial sex was not working for me. Hence my trips to Massage Parlours and Geylang Cat40, Cat80 and Cat150 gradually stopped. I started to realize that I need some little feelings, companionship before a bonk.

Changed style by going to KTV and Pubs. It has worked so far for me at these places where you hug, talk, a little french kiss sometimes a little groping. Just when you want more the session ends etc. take the girl's number and use a spare phone kept in the office in silent mode to sms or WhatsApp her. Meet up for dinner and proceed for bonk. You'll actually enjoy the feeling although it's commercial when the girl calls you "laogong" etc.

Love and Sex are Nature's creation and God created you to do it and have it. And you should not stop it. Imagine one day someone decides I will not go to toilet any more. Just hold my bladder. That's not how God designed you to be and function.Sex is not just good for keeping your mind clean and active and de-stressed, it's also good for long life. Kings who had many wives lived long. People who are single all life with hardly any sex are prone to death earlier. Sex and orgasm i.e. ejaculation releases certain hormones flowing in your blood stream to keep you healthy. So sex is good.

Now how do you have sex? Since you find commercial sex too mechanical, you have to find out what your hobby is and mix it with sex e.g.
Drinking + Sex
Clubbing + Sex
Travel Overseas + Sex
Golfing + Sex
Gaming + Sex
Surfing + Sex
Movie + Sex
Diving + Sex etc.

Now depending on what turns you on, you have to find that avenue to end up in sex. It can be under your control and not get addictive. E.g. Some men like to go to Manado, Indonesia for diving. After diving whole day, they plus their friends will go relax at a beer bar, flirt with a chick and take her to the room for a wild time. Indo girls are real good bed partners and fuck like long time girlfriends with the same feel, passion etc.

If you like alcohol, don't sip alcohol in places like Harry's bar. Go to a place with girls e.g. Clarke Quay, Thai disco, Zouk, Lush, Avatar, Double O, Duxton, Geylang, Joo Chiat etc. give the girls an opportunity to seduce you into bedding them. Who knows although commercial you may actually enjoy the session ?

If you are computer addict, you go to websites like Thai Love Links, Date In Asia , Asia Friend Finder , Match.com , Love.com etc. you e-Flirt with pretty girls who are crazily pretty especially from China syt's and you think you can never get such a gf and just try. Who knows they may respond and you might actually end up one day going to China to visit her, bonk her and she can become your 2nd wife :-)

If you like clubbing Jakarta has a really crazy party scene where beautiful dancers dance and go topless and bottomless on the dance floor & they are really gorgeous girls , normal students not ugly hookers. Attempt having fun there and try for ECA.

Similarly for golfing etc. etc. mix your hobby and passion with some opportunity for sex and don't be too inhibitive. Just go for it. Just convince yourself that even after this wild session you're still going to love your wife and care for your children the same way. Just relax and enjoy yourself.

With this change in mindset, you'll start having a good sex life outside home and it will be the new man in you. God gave us this really enjoyable thing called "dick". Just like you eat the best food you always get opportunity to satisfy the pleasure of your tongue.Make full use of it till it can stand. Never ever stop having sex, it's an incomplete life.

Cheers

[lotsfits80]

For me I'll just ask her how you should fulfill your sexual needs. Sexual needs is just like any other social needs. Without it you won't die but will be very unhealthy. Humans are social animals, can't deny that. Sexual frustration leads to stress, stress leads to many diseases and tragedies. You can either sit down and have a proper conversation with her or eat out and not let her know.

[muscleboi]

even i bonked my ex for 2 years plus i also sian. for bros with wife, definitely will be more sian. life's only constant is change. we men are not meant to be in monogamy relationships. its human society unnaturally shaped us to be that way..now even go out bonk also considered cheating. sad. :(

[Nick201269]

Bro totally empathise with your situation as i am in same boat.

Eat out is one option, and commercial fuck is costly. According to bros here it can also addictive. However i think this is the most fuss free. Fuck and go.

Talking to wife sometimes also quite sian when u get rejected a few times.

Bottomline - like what SAF always taught u, do anything but dun get caught.

[PassingbyJ]

Can't help but link this thread to Germany Drops reignite marriage (http://sammyboyforum.com/showthread.php?t=356015)

Guess its need effort on both side to keep the sex life going. :(
It goes beyond just having sex with the wife but like the flirting and teasing, without any worries?

Can try to get the wife to dress up and go to a bar, pretend you two don't know each other and try to pick your wife up?

[RamboCat]

Bro Hardaway, Care to share what medical problem makes her cannot have sex? Just curious. Want to check it up on Google thats all. Thanks.

[chnhubby71]

delete post

[Hardaway1818]

Bro Hardaway, Care to share what medical problem makes her cannot have sex? Just curious. Want to check it up on Google thats all. Thanks.

It's a condition diagnosed as "dyspareunia". She got it after the birth of our second child, and contracting some urinary tract and pelvic infection.

[Hotspotxxxxx]

haha i am so amazed of the number of bros here who are 天涯同命鸟. Somehow it just made me feel better as i am not alone (Ah Q mentality).

I never regretted getting married and love my wife and kids. Would never bear to do anything to hurt the family.

Just lamenting a bit here haha. Life still goes on and I guess i can live out my sexual fantasies by writing more stories hahaha

Bro I like your suggestion of writing more stories for us!

[Thug]

Completely sexless ever since the arrival of our boy. 15 months alrdy only had 1 session in New Zealand and the worst thing is, I thought it gonna be a sexless night so I pcc in the toilet b4 coming out and she wanted it. My dick half asleep. Never ejacuate.

Sometimes I don't feel the love between us anymore. Intimacy is very important between a couple. I feel you should jio your wife for a short getaway. Just the 2 of u.

We are attending a wedding of a good friend overseas soon. Hoping for a fruitful trip.

[Brainstorm]

It's a condition diagnosed as "dyspareunia".

Is she willing to give blowjob or handjob then? That shouldn't be painful for her if she isn't touched in any way right?

[nicetongue]

haiz.....on one hand, glad that I am not "alone" in this.....being married but not making out for 9 years!! I wonder if I still know how she look like below....hahahah

On the other, quite sad that many bros down here r going thru this, wonder if that's y there r so many strayings, extra marital, commercial sex etc outside the marriage and perhaps thats y SBF is so popular? hahaha

Guess we can only laugh it off and hope we can get lucky one of this day.....

[gambit76]

Our sex life used to be great before the arrival my kid. Same as the bros here, after that sex goes downhill from there. I would consider myself lucky if we can do the deed once a mobth. And that is after I practically begged for it.

[BiRd13]

Completely sexless ever since the arrival of our boy. 15 months alrdy only had 1 session in New Zealand and the worst thing is, I thought it gonna be a sexless night so I pcc in the toilet b4 coming out and she wanted it. My dick half asleep. Never ejacuate.

Sometimes I don't feel the love between us anymore. Intimacy is very important between a couple. I feel you should jio your wife for a short getaway. Just the 2 of u.

We are attending a wedding of a good friend overseas soon. Hoping for a fruitful trip.

I do agree on this part... However, if you have very young kids around, (like yours is 15mths) it's quite difficult just two of you to go holiday together... I tried talk to my wife to go for short getaway together as well... But she can't let go of the kids... As in even 1-2 days, she also prefer to bring the kids along as well... Sigh...

Anyway, best of luck to your fruitful trip, and enjoy :)

[Neverhood]

This is not a story but rather just me ranting about my situation.

Not sure if this is the right place to post. Sorry if it wastes any of your time reading this.

I am supposedly to have a very good life. Have a good wife, young kids, good career with good pay, own a house and drives a good car. Nothing much to complain about. Only regret is that I cant have a proper sex life with my wife anymore due to a medical problem.

Mid-thirties, good sex drive but nowhere to vent. Dont like commercial sex as it's too mechanical.

Lookd like I am quite stucked haha


I am very much in the same situation

[MOSSMAN]

Sometime just wounder if our wife's still remember that they have a Husband...??

I have not got Sex / loveMaking for many month liao...

[Hardaway1818]

Guys,

did u all receive a request from this nick "adakozue" to chat on skype?

I suspect it's a scam. Apologies if i am overly suspicious, but i just want to alert bros here to be wary.

Bros here are all married with an unsatisfactory sex life so we are highly susceptible to potential frauders. I dont want anyone to get cheated because of the thread I started.

If any bro has a positive experiencd with adakozue, do let me know and i will apologise for my over suspicion.

[Brainstorm]

If any bro has a positive experiencd with adakozue, do let me know and i will apologise for my over suspicion.

confirm scam. just use the search function in this forum and you will know.

[Hardaway1818]

confirm scam. just use the search function in this forum and you will know.

Thanks! u are right haha.

[picnic]

Sometime just wounder if our wife's still remember that they have a Husband...??

I have not got Sex / loveMaking for many month liao...
Must let wife know that if you are not fed sufficient, we can always eat outside. You must also let her know that how attractive she still is despite all these years and she got your attention.

[skarlett]

This is not a story but rather just me ranting about my situation.

Not sure if this is the right place to post. Sorry if it wastes any of your time reading this.

I am supposedly to have a very good life. Have a good wife, young kids, good career with good pay, own a house and drives a good car. Nothing much to complain about. Only regret is that I cant have a proper sex life with my wife anymore due to a medical problem.

Mid-thirties, good sex drive but nowhere to vent. Dont like commercial sex as it's too mechanical.

Lookd like I am quite stucked haha

Did the doctor mentioned that the medical issue can be resolve?

My partner is in a similar situation as u are.. Hence he is.. my partner. Lol.
Suggest u communicate with her and try working things out. Like thinking of alternatives. Or see the doctor for the condition. Don jeopardise ur marriage by getting a gf (since u find commercial sex too mechanical..). You will be stuck in a sticky situation.. by then u probably wish u never have a gf.

My two cents worth (speaking frm a married man "gf" point of view. Or rather partner. )

[yang punk]

Can't alway be true that married women with kids or after child birth are not interested in sex or have no sex drive!

Ask any man having an affair with milf. The reason can be that sex with hubby is just getting too monotonous, no romance and no excitement!

So after having her urges satisfied by her extramarital lover she goes home too tired to satisfy her husband.

So the next time your wife says she is too tired for sex with you start getting suspicious!

[Klein76]

haiz.....on one hand, glad that I am not "alone" in this.....being married but not making out for 9 years!! I wonder if I still know how she look like below....hahahah

On the other, quite sad that many bros down here r going thru this, wonder if that's y there r so many strayings, extra marital, commercial sex etc outside the marriage and perhaps thats y SBF is so popular? hahaha

Guess we can only laugh it off and hope we can get lucky one of this day.....



You are not alone :( same here...

[netcheongster]

Same here. Wife not only unwilling to hj/bj as an alternative, even questioned why can't i settle myself 😫

Quite an internal struggle for me to think about does she really want me to settle myself?

[sleepygordon]

haiz.....on one hand, glad that I am not "alone" in this.....being married but not making out for 9 years!! I wonder if I still know how she look like below....hahahah

On the other, quite sad that many bros down here r going thru this, wonder if that's y there r so many strayings, extra marital, commercial sex etc outside the marriage and perhaps thats y SBF is so popular? hahaha

Guess we can only laugh it off and hope we can get lucky one of this day.....

Not to sound judgmental, but FREAKING NINE FUCKING YEARS.....I used to be in this unfortunate league of gentlemen. 4 years of sporadic unsatisfying sex ,average once a month if I am lucky, and if I am really lucky, I get three different position during sex.....

[NRider]

Pardon me for hijacking a thread "Ten reasons for having daily sex" by a fellow samster to share. With that and pointed out some of the facts stated, I got my needs met frequently. Hope it works for fellow samsters here - My 2 cents worth:)

[maxman]

This issue in marriage is really not new and not uncommon. In fact, it is seldom mentioned, and you can easily find proof that it is existent and prevalent.

Sex results in children and children result in anti-sex. Women who were once lovers to men become mothers for their men. When baby/child enter the picture, life takes a drastic change.

The irony - that sex itself brings forth the ultimate anti-sex, the ultimate turn-off: children
http://www.essentialbaby.com.au/life-style/nutrition-and-wellbeing/my-baby-stole-my-libido-20120411-1wpbb.html

The dirty secret in too many marriages: couples grow apart after they have children
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2111232/Why-Gina-Ford-right-husband-IS-important-baby.html

http://www.essortment.com/common-marriage-problems-after-children-50712.html

http://www.parentsconnect.com/parents/relationships/relationship-tips/healthy-relationships/partner_attention_after_baby.html

This post-baby issue is something some women don't realize or don't acknowledge. Some women, even though they want to have kids, don't even realize that later when they become mothers, they may develop post-natal depression because of loss of personal freedom (they once had) and having to put up with all the child-raising chores and daily constant toddler tantrums.

[netcheongster]

She meant settle yourself in the toilet :mad:

[sleepygordon]

Settle urself? Is she giving u permission to eat outside?? Lucky guy u!

I am very sure she meant use your hands to settle it yourself......

[sgjoey]

Women are funny creatures. Haven't had sex with the wife for some years because of her health problems. So I outsourced and went the commercial route. Never bonked so many pretty girls in my life, and am now quite hooked to this hobby. Some experiences are so-so, but some are heavenly. The best part is no commitment. Just fuck and go.

Then my wife discovered what's going on. And she got really mad -- I also dunno why. Does she expect me to remain a monk until I die? Life is short, and I am not going to spend it feeling miserable because I cannot do what I enjoy doing. She now wants me to have sex with her. I do it, but it's nothing like doing it with the sex workers -- young, nubile, willing and so beautiful.

Uneasy truce now.... I know she doesn't trust me anymore and I don't blame her for that. How long this situation is gonna last.... I don't know. And I am still fucking those beautiful babes every chance I get.

[SG_FUN]

To all bros,

After reading so much I can appreciate what all bros goes through. I have the similar issues and still not able to solve. Every time I raised the topic of sex, she just point it to me.

I seek to understand what I done wrong. I pay for everything, look after then kids, bout nice car, etc trying to satisfy everything but she just indicated that she is not having rest. Her job is lesser of demanding than me sometime I thought.

Same for some bros, just don't understand woman. Before marriage, she can rape u, once paper signed, she start to slow down and after the kid sex is no longer on her thought.

I guess just have to sucks thumb and DIY or look for fb or commercial. I have no choice and starting going to the dark side now as I don't want to waste my life. As there is an expiring date to your tools. Make it useful while it last....

[ajlover]

looks like many bros are in the same situation... ever since son is born, sex is as high as the moon, can see but cannot reach.... used to look for commercial sex. After a period of time, career start to do downhill and spending on bonks seems to become a luxury... ended up with Mary (left hand) and Nancy (right hand). Occasionally try to get commercial sex but many a times its just not satisfactory as they just want u to shoot n fuck off.

Had tried looking for fb on wechat or craglist list but hooking them requires lots of baits ($$) too... Most of them want to go for restaurant for dinner or town for shopping first, when done, they said they tired... knn.... spend a bomb on them then they ask u go fly kite.....

now I am back to Mary and Nancy, still the best FBs... no risk of HIV, 24/7 standby oncall, free of charge, no need to hook them.

[Brainstorm]

Then my wife discovered what's going on. And she got really mad -- I also dunno why.

Maybe she felt insulted as a woman that you have to seek sex outside. Is it because she is no longer attractive as a woman? Is that why you are seeking sex outside? For all you know, you may be getting sex for this period now because she wants to prove to herself that she is still attractive as a lady and not because she realised she needs to do her wifey duties.

Once she has convinced herself you still find her attractive, the same rubbish might occur again. Don't praise her too much, once her ego is back, you will go back to left, left, left right left (not the rythem of marching but the rythem of masterbation ah) again. :p

ended up with Mary (left hand) and Nancy (right hand).

Oh! My left hand is Mari while my right hand is Kita. When the 2 powers combined, I become Mari Kita. :D

[PassingbyJ]

To whoever zap me, I am fine with being zap.
It is normal to disagree on forum but can you have at least explain why or which part you disagree. :confused:

[joncheong]

looks like many bros are in the same situation... ever since son is born, sex is as high as the moon, can see but cannot reach.... used to look for commercial sex. After a period of time, career start to do downhill and spending on bonks seems to become a luxury... ended up with Mary (left hand) and Nancy (right hand). Occasionally try to get commercial sex but many a times its just not satisfactory as they just want u to shoot n fuck off.

Had tried looking for fb on wechat or craglist list but hooking them requires lots of baits ($$) too... Most of them want to go for restaurant for dinner or town for shopping first, when done, they said they tired... knn.... spend a bomb on them then they ask u go fly kite.....

now I am back to Mary and Nancy, still the best FBs... no risk of HIV, 24/7 standby oncall, free of charge, no need to hook them.

very true....my luck with wechat suck as well....it's much easier to hookup with FBs in office nearby elsewhere but such social apps...or perhaps it's i just met the wrong ladies on apps...

[Escada]

this is sad and true. how do to get back to the way before is it even possible ?
so stress out