Acceptance of past

[banana81sg]

Hardly start thread, due to poor english, so pardon.

Anyway, I read some threads on sex partners past like " gf past", "wife past", "gf as a FL past" etc

Most reply is look to the future and not the past.

There is one past no mention, the one where u fell in love and suddenly you found out she divorcee with kids.

of course, the younger the kid, the more responsible you have.

Not sure what age should the kid be, different age will have different views ,open for disccussion.

So basically, will you accept if she has kid?

and lastly people tell me " it takes a man to accept a gf past"......so can i say it takes a bigger man to accept gf past w kid?:confused:

[jnudes]

Hardly start thread, due to poor english, so pardon.

Anyway, I read some threads on sex partners past like " gf past", "wife past", "gf as a FL past" etc

Most reply is look to the future and not the past.

There is one past no mention, the one where u fell in love and suddenly you found out she divorcee with kids.

of course, the younger the kid, the more responsible you have.

Not sure what age should the kid be, different age will have different views ,open for disccussion.

So basically, will you accept if she has kid?

and lastly people tell me " it takes a man to accept a gf past"......so can i say it takes a bigger man to accept gf past w kid?:confused:

There is one real life story I need to share with you. This man used to be a tycoon, now in his 70s, and currently a bankrupt man. I shall not name him here for privacy and security reasons.

When he was young, he got two wives. The first wife bore him few children, including sons. The second wife used to marry with another guy and they have children together. This ex tycoon also have daughter with his second wife.

After divorced the second wife live with this tycoon. The first and second wife live in separate city. In his younger days this tycoon even sponsored the second wife's children from her previous marriage to study overseas and spent millions.

All of a sudden his business gone bankrupt and his own company shares collapsed. His second wife also dump him when knowing he had gone bankrupt. Even his second wife's children with first husband whom he sponsored earlier to overseas education also dump him. He has no where to go but return to his first wife. Luckily both wives stay different city and both cannot meet, if not sure will have big fights regularly.

The lesson from this is don't mixed with divorced woman with kids. Although your relationship starts very well in the beginning it can be very cruel and bitter in the end especially when it involves finances as the kid from other marriage has right to dump you when one gets old as they are not your blood relatives.

I had been approached once by a female ex-classmate who is divorced with a young daughter. We chat using FB and she gave me her handphone number although I never ask from her in the first place. I wonder what she is up to and quite suspicious with her as I am thinking she may be taking advantage of a single guy like me. Soon I closed my FB acct and did not meet her until today.

Its ok if you guys meet like old friends or normal friends. Do not let the feelings involved and some more with the young kid. It can get really complicated in the end. This is just my two cents advice. Hope it helps.

[justl00king]

My guess is some would, while others not.

Simple solution is just be fb. :D

[BiRd13]

Hardly start thread, due to poor english, so pardon.

Anyway, I read some threads on sex partners past like " gf past", "wife past", "gf as a FL past" etc

Most reply is look to the future and not the past.

There is one past no mention, the one where u fell in love and suddenly you found out she divorcee with kids.

of course, the younger the kid, the more responsible you have.

Not sure what age should the kid be, different age will have different views ,open for disccussion.

So basically, will you accept if she has kid?

and lastly people tell me " it takes a man to accept a gf past"......so can i say it takes a bigger man to accept gf past w kid?:confused:

Y not? My current wife is one who have kids too. And not only one... But 2...
She's a single mum though during when I know her...

We have our 3rd kid now :)

[see see only]

Sincerely i dont reckon to choose a woman with kids. In order to protect their children, most of them will be extremely practical and very hard hearted when come to decision making in bad time.

They will choose to let you suffer til you die, then let their children suffer a bit. (unless you are the father of her kids)

Nevertheless, there are exceptional cases but very rare.

[mrsg]

From what I have seen, women usually are protective of their children and when bad time happens, the man will die first. Like the black widow spider. So better off marrying a decent gal.

[Intltuk]

It's not just being a bigger man....it's a whole host of responsibilities. If ur love for her is big enough to cover her kid/s, then u got a chance of making the marriage a success. Just know tat u will face potentially bigger challenges then if u were to marry a single woman. Go google for `Being a stepfather'.....u will a lot of useful articles to help u understand better.

[porscheclub]

I'm the one you're looking for then.

Was madly in love with my then girlfriend who one day told me that she had a kid from her ex & she'll only continue if I can accept her child which I readily accepted because I'm also a father of two & I've suspected that she had a past so no problems with that.

We're happily married now & she has my 3rd child while her first child calls me dad as he has never seen his real father. Her family has also set aside education fund for him but I'm prepared for his other expenses. It'll be decades before we see anything & sometimes I wonder if the child is a victim because it seems that I love him more than she does!

With regards to dying a pauper, always have a Plan B for yourself. Don't expect children to take care of you in old age & have a spouse by your side till death.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

We're happily married now & she has my 3rd child
Wah seh bro, u da man :D

[banana81sg]

hmmm...........so can i say for a single guy to accept it is actually low, unless finacially very good ( assume take home 5k above).............. while a guy with kid/kids has no problem accepting gf with kid/kids?

actually i believe , it seem , girls r more acceptance of a guy past even if he is with kid while she is unmarried, correct me if i'm wrong on this

[Golden question]

Hardly start thread, due to poor english, so pardon.

Anyway, I read some threads on sex partners past like " gf past", "wife past", "gf as a FL past" etc

Most reply is look to the future and not the past.

There is one past no mention, the one where u fell in love and suddenly you found out she divorcee with kids.

of course, the younger the kid, the more responsible you have.

Not sure what age should the kid be, different age will have different views ,open for disccussion.

So basically, will you accept if she has kid?

and lastly people tell me " it takes a man to accept a gf past"......so can i say it takes a bigger man to accept gf past w kid?:confused:

Does it matter whether is a bigger man or smaller man?Matter is how u look at her.You can forget her past and together with her but does it gurantee your marriage will be a smooth one?

Same as if u mind her past and cannot accept and choose to leave her but maybe it turn out that she is a faithful wife to u?

So have to ask yourself whether u want to gamble?:eek:

[Golden question]

Recently saw one series on TV about a married sg woman who have a adult son with some illness.Did not mention why she is a single mother

Her boyfriend who is an Ang Mo choose to be with her and also care her son as her own son.They are very happy.

Sometime Love is a funny thing.If u choose to give your love without any return,u will be very happy but when u choose to give your love in return for something,u will feel miserable if u did not get back something

[porscheclub]

Wah seh bro, u da man :D

What to do she horny, I humsup so make babies lor. Hoping for a Horse gal next year ><"

hmmm...........so can i say for a single guy to accept it is actually low, unless finacially very good ( assume take home 5k above).............. while a guy with kid/kids has no problem accepting gf with kid/kids?

actually i believe , it seem , girls r more acceptance of a guy past even if he is with kid while she is unmarried, correct me if i'm wrong on this

Well, it is not easy to be a step parent. It's a life long commitment that anyone must think carefully because love will be shared among siblings and there will always be rivalry even within the blood. I'll always remember one night when both my kids fell from cycling because the boy crashed into the sister & both cried so they got a lecture but he screamed how I love the sister more than him because in our eyes he's always the naughtier one. The following weekend, we bought them cycling gears.

Sometimes I can see that the stepson looks with jealousy over the youngest bro because for the first 3years he was the only gem in their family.

Anyway I'm still learning to be a parent & so will you when you eventually start a family.

With regards to male vs female its probably because men are seen as the breadwinner & as for money it depends on how you guys manage it.

Think carefully about this if you're single and discuss it properly with both families so that there's blessings. You must make an effort to be the new parent as the child also needs to accept you. When everything works out she'll love & appreciate you more than ever.

If you're not ready then move on. Love is not about taking but giving.

[KumarSegar]

If you're not ready then move on. Love is not about taking but giving.

Very good advice. Thank you