Sexless marriage

[cultivate]

Hi Bro,

It is embarrassing to tell others my story but this is bothering my life now, in fact my whole life. I would like to have some advise or views from others. I can't tell my friends or family so I am feeling miserable.

My wife and I had been married for 3 plus years and didn't have a baby.
Family and friends has been asking do we have any planning yet and i will just came out with some excuses like "we plan not to have baby"

But the truth is , we don't even have sex for 3 years plus or i should say only one time but not a complete sex.

People must be thinking why?
I would say I am a normal guy with a normal sex drive. I always feel like having sex maybe 2 or 3 times per week. So since i do not have the luck to have sex with my wife, I can only DIY. Ocassionaly i have no choice and i must admit i do have to find some other holes outside.

Why am i doing this? Seriously if i can have a normal sex life, i will not have to think of finding outside.

this has been going on for 3 years, i seriously need to think about this issue. I find that this is not healthy and i feel terrible. I tried, I am trying very hard now. I talked to her about this but she will always say until like there is no problem. "We can have sex, it's not that I didn't give you, but I am a girl, i will not initiate to have sex with you" She said. This statement doesn't sound wrong at all.

But the truth is, I tried to touch her, hug her...and her bed is surrounded with papers, computers, TV on...her mind is surrounded with tasks. Sex is never on her mind and she admits that she has no urge at all and she challenge me to ask other girls if they have urge.

I tried to hug her, kiss her, tried to touch her breast but she will hit me and say dun molest her. How? how do i continue when she said all these and all my urge also dies off.

I hope that i can have a healthy sex life now and even after giving birth. What i am going to do now is to continue to seduce her to have sex. But I really dun noe what i should do if all these fails. I have searched the internet for a divorce procedure in Singapore.

What is your advise? Do you think if you are going to have a sexless marriage, will you have a divorce and look for another marriage?

[zeajay]

Let her go. It's either you married a nun or her sex sessions are satisfied by others.

[ah rat]

Ts,when the last u have sex with her.:)

[mcyeoh]

Hi Bro,

It is embarrassing to tell others my story but this is bothering my life now, in fact my whole life. I would like to have some advise or views from others. I can't tell my friends or family so I am feeling miserable.

My wife and I had been married for 3 plus years and didn't have a baby.
Family and friends has been asking do we have any planning yet and i will just came out with some excuses like "we plan not to have baby"

But the truth is , we don't even have sex for 3 years plus or i should say only one time but not a complete sex.

People must be thinking why?
I would say I am a normal guy with a normal sex drive. I always feel like having sex maybe 2 or 3 times per week. So since i do not have the luck to have sex with my wife, I can only DIY. Ocassionaly i have no choice and i must admit i do have to find some other holes outside.

Why am i doing this? Seriously if i can have a normal sex life, i will not have to think of finding outside.

this has been going on for 3 years, i seriously need to think about this issue. I find that this is not healthy and i feel terrible. I tried, I am trying very hard now. I talked to her about this but she will always say until like there is no problem. "We can have sex, it's not that I didn't give you, but I am a girl, i will not initiate to have sex with you" She said. This statement doesn't sound wrong at all.

But the truth is, I tried to touch her, hug her...and her bed is surrounded with papers, computers, TV on...her mind is surrounded with tasks. Sex is never on her mind and she admits that she has no urge at all and she challenge me to ask other girls if they have urge.

I tried to hug her, kiss her, tried to touch her breast but she will hit me and say dun molest her. How? how do i continue when she said all these and all my urge also dies off.

I hope that i can have a healthy sex life now and even after giving birth. What i am going to do now is to continue to seduce her to have sex. But I really dun noe what i should do if all these fails. I have searched the internet for a divorce procedure in Singapore.

What is your advise? Do you think if you are going to have a sexless marriage, will you have a divorce and look for another marriage?
it seems like she may have a sight and heart on another things and that will be sad.......

[billy_bonker]

been there. done that. get out of it before it's too late.

[Lindblum]

looks like its time to work out, get in shape, and change your clothes including home wear to look more attractive. You can't wear a singlet and have a pot belly and expect your wife to feel sexually attracted to you. Forget the notion "She's my wife, she should be having sex with me whether or not I look like crap." This is the 21st Century, people have freedom of choosing their spouses and when they want to get intimate. Work on it dude

[happiee]

TS think your wife is workaholic and sympathy you. guess TS need to find out the actual reason behind, work might be just an excuse for many people...good luck cheer up

[fictionman]

Sex is a major part of a happy marriage...If u r not getting ANY SEX fm ur wife, the marriage im sad to say is not complete...Either u guys really really sit down & talk abt this, then ur marriage wont last...Sorry bro...Either u suck it up & continue to DIY & eat outside (like me) or end the marriage...You wont be happy bro...But i really hope you guys work it out & be happy for the rest of ur life

[Get1Cow]

Kinda sad if the wife doesn't fulfill her duty at such an early marriage.

Too career minded or cant be bother of her husband feeling? Must ask her why bother to marry at first :mad:

TS got test drive her before marrying her? Real man wont want such type of material to be a wife :rolleyes:



I would say don't keep quiet.

If she still wont repent or reflect upon herself, slowly make both side of the families aware of your situation, they will sympathise you on valid reasons.
If the situation still doesn't improve.... short pain is better than long one...you know what to do with the marriage

[InnerCircle]

TS bro, I salute you for sharing your sexless marriage.


"We can have sex, it's not that I didn't give you, but I am a girl, i will not initiate to have sex with you" She said. This statement doesn't sound wrong at all.

But the truth is, I tried to touch her, hug her...and her bed is surrounded with papers, computers, TV on...her mind is surrounded with tasks. Sex is never on her mind and she admits that she has no urge at all and she challenge me to ask other girls if they have urge.

I tried to hug her, kiss her, tried to touch her breast but she will hit me and say dun molest her. How? how do i continue when she said all these and all my urge also dies off.

What is your advise? Do you think if you are going to have a sexless marriage, will you have a divorce and look for another marriage?

May I know the age of your wife? For all I know, most ladies in their mid-late 20s and 30s should have urges as well. I could be wrong and your wife could be different..

I agree with the other bros, try to find out what the actual reason is..

If it's physical attraction, then you might want to try toning and dressing up.

But if it's because she has her heart set on someone else then this is going to be a uphill battle..

Take heart bro and all the best!

[tallsynn]

Hmm.. Ts, do u fuck her before marriage?
How about using some Spanish Fly? To get her in the mood.

[jazp]

bro, why don't you try another bro's method? no offense.. just a suggestion.. try to use alittle more force to force yourself on her once..

there can only be two possibilities:

1) probably she haven't found the pleasure of having sex yet so if you force yourself on her, she may end up liking to be fucked by you cos you showed her you're her man and you're in control. happy ending. :D

2) if she forcefully retaliate and ends up slapping you or crying out loud saying "no! sob sob sob".. you know that this is not a marriage you want.. :(

what do other bros think?

[Allanooi]

Maybe ur wife is having an affair with her ex bf who also married before u married her .... How low the sex drive can it be? Why dun u hire PI to trail her ...

[Beasty]

Sad to say, you have been bullied by your wife. Not too late to leave her now at least there is no children involved yet.

[Sirrus]

just break up lar, not compatible....if she like u she will want to fuck your brains out. if she no such urge than she is not a complete stable mental stage

[nakorn]

Sounds like she is seeing someone behind your back.

[InnerCircle]

bro, why don't you try another bro's method? no offense.. just a suggestion.. try to use alittle more force to force yourself on her once..

there can only be two possibilities:

1) probably she haven't found the pleasure of having sex yet so if you force yourself on her, she may end up liking to be fucked by you cos you showed her you're her man and you're in control. happy ending. :D

2) if she forcefully retaliate and ends up slapping you or crying out loud saying "no! sob sob sob".. you know that this is not a marriage you want.. :(

what do other bros think?

I think that is a dangerous suggestion bro..

Just because she is TS wife, doesn't mean she cannot cry rape..

When that happens, it would be the situation "out of the pan, into the fire.."

[Intltuk]

Seems like u almost never had sex since married.
I have one question.....How on earth did both of u end up marrying each other?

[MultiOrgasGuy]

TS, it could be one or a combination of the following reasons:

1. she is a workaholic
2. she has a mental barrier, eg. sex-phobic, afraid of sex
3. she has a medical condition, eg. very tight vagina
4. she has asexual orientation, therefore not interested in sex
5. she has lesbian orientation, not keen on sex with men, only women
6. she is involved with another guy

TS, try to find out which is/are applicable in your case.

[jazp]

I think that is a dangerous suggestion bro..

Just because she is TS wife, doesn't mean she cannot cry rape..

When that happens, it would be the situation "out of the pan, into the fire.."

bro,
in singapore law, there isn't any clause stating its an offense for husband to force sex on his wife. however, there is a clause which states that one of the duties of a wife and husband includes having sex.. not the exact words in that clause but the idea is there..

but then AWARE is trying to make that a law (husband rape wife..which is illogical).. IF that ever comes true, singaporean husbands are screwed for life..

[parahuni]

You are lucky bro , not to have kids and so it's easier to get out of it now....I have 2 young kids still and hanging around as I can't imagine leaving them...:(

So....I eat outside and have a regular FB...I never understood and actually don't care a darn now why she doesn't want it....just waiting for my kids to grow up be independent and then it's goodbye farewell.

[bobian]

When i saw ur thread, my eyes immediately set on clicking this thread, because like u, i am in the exact position, where my wife does not want to have sex with me.

We just got married for a year and 4 months. But all these while, whenever i wanted sex, she just keep pushing me away , saying shes tired, or dont feel like doing it. Only once in a while did i get sex from her, but its not making love at all, she would jus lie down motionless, not even moan or wet, like im fucking a corpse. Sometimes she would jus say its pain, and i would have to stop.

I have tried investigating whether or not shes seeing someone behind my back and that leads to her not wanting to have sex with me, the result is quite a safe negative. Dont get me wrong, i love her as though we just got together, but the lack of sex is killing the rship. We would quarrel when i dont receive any sex, and she would say that all i think about is sex. But cmon, if u have not receive any sex for months, of cos thats what u'll be thinking about. I did sit down with her and have a good talk about this, saying the unhealthy status if our marriage, she just shrugged it off.

This is the reason why i came into this forum. I feel i should jus shut down my desire for sex my own way, by just doing it outside, getting it over and done with, so that i can go back home and face her without having to quarrel not receiving any from her. Yes, this is fucked up for fucking other girls outside and using this as an excuse. Im sure karma will bite me back. At least i know once i've cummed, i wont have the strong urge to have sex for the next few days. I can live my marriage life peacefully with her.

Even my nick is "bobian". Hahaha.

Im not fat, nor am i underweight, or have a belly. So in that aspect i dont think im that unattractive to her. Hell, our sex life used to be awesome, but it jus detioriated over the recent years. If u ask me why did i even marry her in that case, i would say i didnt marry her because of sex. But to say that if i knew i wont have a normal sex life whether or not i will still go ahead and marry her, now im starting to have doubts.

[happiee]

When i saw ur thread, my eyes immediately set on clicking this thread, because like u, i am in the exact position, where my wife does not want to have sex with me.

We just got married for a year and 4 months. But all these while, whenever i wanted sex, she just keep pushing me away , saying shes tired, or dont feel like doing it. Only once in a while did i get sex from her, but its not making love at all, she would jus lie down motionless, not even moan or wet, like im fucking a corpse. Sometimes she would jus say its pain, and i would have to stop.

I have tried investigating whether or not shes seeing someone behind my back and that leads to her not wanting to have sex with me, the result is quite a safe negative. Dont get me wrong, i love her as though we just got together, but the lack of sex is killing the rship. We would quarrel when i dont receive any sex, and she would say that all i think about is sex. But cmon, if u have not receive any sex for months, of cos thats what u'll be thinking about. I did sit down with her and have a good talk about this, saying the unhealthy status if our marriage, she just shrugged it off.

This is the reason why i came into this forum. I feel i should jus shut down my desire for sex my own way, by just doing it outside, getting it over and done with, so that i can go back home and face her without having to quarrel not receiving any from her. Yes, this is fucked up for fucking other girls outside and using this as an excuse. Im sure karma will bite me back. At least i know once i've cummed, i wont have the strong urge to have sex for the next few days. I can live my marriage life peacefully with her.

Even my nick is "bobian". Hahaha.

Im not fat, nor am i underweight, or have a belly. So in that aspect i dont think im that unattractive to her. Hell, our sex life used to be awesome, but it jus detioriated over the recent years. If u ask me why did i even marry her in that case, i would say i didnt marry her because of sex. But to say that if i knew i wont have a normal sex life whether or not i will still go ahead and marry her, now im starting to have doubts.


bro just curious if u and TS before getting married do you guys encountered the same problem? If yes why still proceed to get married? If No, then obviously something was going wrong to end up like this ...:)

[bigmannow]

Go for marriage counselling maybe ?

[jazp]

cos some men/women think of marriage as the end goal. once they got married, they think sex is no longer a need.. thats why there is still cold joke about how when a couple were at the church altar about to be pronounced husband and wife, the man thought he has gotten a wife who gave him the best bbbj and at the same time, the woman thinks gosh yes thats going to be my last bbbj for him.. no wind no wave (in chinese) so there must be some truth in that cold joke..

[bobian]

bro just curious if u and TS before getting married do you guys encountered the same problem? If yes why still proceed to get married? If No, then obviously something was going wrong to end up like this ...:)

No, before marriage my sex life is good. Not sure abt ts. But it wasn't as good as our first year.

Like i said, I didn't marry her for the sake of sex. But doesn't mean I wanna enter into a sexless marriage...

[freezetheDB]

sometimes during stressful or busy periods (note: some can have years of extended stress), one may not really think about sex. Any pockets of freetime they prefer to relax and nua, or indulge in their hobbies or favourite tv shows, so sex is at the bottom list of their minds.

I too sometimes prefer to indulge in my own hobbies as I have very busy working hours. My own experience/solution is to get the romance back. There was this period when me and my wife were having very little sex, then we went on a date, bought her gifts just like back in the dating days, reach home we had sex, 2nd round she initiated and work me out by BBBJ&CIM. She said that session was really good (but my performance was as usual, abt 5-10min max) because I was very gentle and loving the whole day.

see, emotion and mind affects how one perceives things

[HCKing]

Seems like u almost never had sex since married.
I have one question.....How on earth did both of u end up marrying each other?

marriage is not so much physical needs but emotional needs. its always good to knw that there's someone beside u who can understand and be supportive towards u. that's the good point of getting married. those who marry out of sex only will be in 4 a tougher time when the woman lost interest in sex or the sex has gotten boring as there r no longer any other compensating factors to hold on to the r/s.

[LateHunter]

if you want to really go for rape, why not try red spider from one of the bros here.. Maybe can get a stronger version mix with red wine..

Then slowly cuddle her and fondle her hair and slowly kiss her neck.. she will try to say no but we all know she will want it in the end. I think that will be a rape at least she enjoy..

If above else dont work, I am sorry to say you married a sexless wife. Satisifying your needs elsewhere will help only in the short run. Dont tell me you dont want a family.

[Intltuk]

marriage is not so much physical needs but emotional needs. its always good to knw that there's someone beside u who can understand and be supportive towards u. that's the good point of getting married. those who marry out of sex only will be in 4 a tougher time when the woman lost interest in sex or the sex has gotten boring as there r no longer any other compensating factors to hold on to the r/s.

I agree tat sex should not be the main reason for getting married...but for most couples...it is part of the equation. TS story is tat since the beginning of their marriage, the wife is refusing to hve any....which is puzzling. Like u say, sex can get boring...but that will be after a certain time being together....not at the beginning of a marriage.

[Calebchua]

Well..men and women are wired differently. I agree that everyone has their own needs. Just like women need care and love in a marriage, men do value physical intimacy as well..to deny each party what they want for something that is normal in a marriage, its being selfish.

[Serenade]

Women give sex to a man, for love.
Men give love to a woman, for sex.

Win-win, if all goes well

[kether]

hi TS, i would advice u to seek professional help. mainly ppl why get married is bcos they cant hold the passion and wanna enjoy sex to the fullest.

many ppl may not agree with me, but i feel that the only way to enjoy sex to the fullest without any worries is with ur spouse.

if anything, please pm me, i believe i could be of some help in giving advice privately.

[parrotkid]

I agree that a sexless marriage is very difficult to maintain. I heard of many guys having sex with their wives only once in a few months and i wonder how they can sustain their marriage.

[lotsfits80]

marriage is not so much physical needs but emotional needs. its always good to knw that there's someone beside u who can understand and be supportive towards u. that's the good point of getting married. those who marry out of sex only will be in 4 a tougher time when the woman lost interest in sex or the sex has gotten boring as there r no longer any other compensating factors to hold on to the r/s.

I think most women do not understand that men satisfy their emotional needs by physical acts. This is why men like physical activities like sports whereas women satisfy their emotional needs by talking and reading romantic novels, etc.

Women love romantic talks to get aroused while men prefer more visual and physical such as striptease. Men need sex to satisfy their intimate needs, and this satisfaction can only come from sex with someone they feel attached with. Sex with other is just for the 'high', that's why many people like GFE feeling when fucking outside.

[Allanooi]

I agree that a sexless marriage is very difficult to maintain. I heard of many guys having sex with their wives only once in a few months and i wonder how they can sustain their marriage.

Once a month ??? The Threadstarter had zero in 3 yrs since married ....

[parrotkid]

A shocking statistic i gathered from ict. Most men are not fucking their wives much. Maybe like once in half a yr. some even once in a few yrs. What the fuck is wrong?

[limdavid911]

brother, I believe your wife might having ECA outside just that you dun know that why she not giving you sex.

3 years is a long time, if you continue like this you will have cancer later on.....sex is a must fucking a woman is shiok and just think you thrushing her hard and making her begging you for more.......go and rape her and maybe she just it or put sleeping pills inside her drink to fuck her

[limdavid911]

I got a good friend also 4 years so sex liao....he always thinking of looking for FL to fuck he said his cock always very itches

[naan1974]

TS what does it mean 3 years once and not completed?
Is yr wife a virgin? Did you even penetrated into her?
Did she resist sex for the last 3 year because of painful experience
and loses interest in sex altogether? if so what she needs is a BIG ORGASM and she will be begging you every night

[BC88]

http://www.sammyboyforum.com/showthread.php?t=258547&highlight=wife+sex

see this long thread that has been around talking about this problem

[Fruggnuts]

TS,

You need to make her feel special again and by the looks of it her work is keeping her preoccupied so you need to take that away from her ! Temperary of cos !

Best would be a short 2-3 nights holiday let her shop and relax abit make sure she doesn't bring her work with her! Then okay dinner must set the atmostphere n mood cause apparently when u forced and jump on it you hit the off switch...

Well see how that goes for awhile don't give up on ur marriage too quickly!

Cheers !
All the best bro
James Duncan

[(o)(o) Tuner]

TS, seems like your problem is very serious. I can't believe it when you said 3 years without sex, did you? Ok anyway, I can see you have already spent a lot of effort to revive healthy sexual life with wife and it still didn't work quite well.

If that is the case, why not treat her with some Spanish fly and boost her sexual urge? If this works on her, I tell you in no time it's your turn to be the master. :D

[KobeBeef]

TS, you never had sex or petting before marrying your wife ?

[massage1001]

Marriage is not all about sex, but sex is still a very important component of any r/s regardless married or not... Spend some time talk to your wife

[sleepygordon]

Been there same as TS, ex wife has low sex drive. One month lucky to have one bonk. Self satisfy most of the time. :mad:

In the end divorce. Don't waste time lah. If still want to stay must accept, if dun want to accept must change something: either change wife or change her attitude. I think we all know which is easier to do.:D

[want2play]

TS MIA liau

[Ngengheng]

Sex is just part of it...however without sex is really unhealthy.

[napalmdeath]

its the other way around for me... I am the one who is beginning not have any feel for my wife of 10 years... we have no kids... I think I can't bear her any as we have gone through IVF and it still failed... now each time when we had sex, I feel I'm the only one who are active in trying to arouse her while she just do a bit of touch her & there...and last sex was going be 2 months now... I feel like giving up, let her go and maybe she can find better one that can bear her children as she is still young...sad, just sad... :( now I have begun chatting online trying to get that girlfriend-boyfriend feel again to make myself excite to life everyday.... sad, just sad.... :( somehow, I just wanna say to her I wanna have a time off and would like to spend travel alone somewhere sometimes to think on this.... :(

[parrotkid]

I wonder. Those chinese girls who marry ang mo, do they give the ang mo the same treatment as to chinese guys? Sex only once in a blue moon?

[gloryglory]

I wonder. Those chinese girls who marry ang mo, do they give the ang mo the same treatment as to chinese guys? Sex only once in a blue moon?

Those chinese will of course give ang moh sex everyday becoz " it's part of their culture.

[Botakhead]

Those chinese will of course give ang moh sex everyday becoz " it's part of their culture.

I beg to differ, as my ex-FB, whose married to a Ang Mo, she just cannot get enuf sex from him as he was not so active, more interested in playing golf instead. That was why she ended up being my FB for 2 years. She had given birth to our 2 children too.

[36Red]

TS, seems like your problem is very serious. I can't believe it when you said 3 years without sex, did you? Ok anyway, I can see you have already spent a lot of effort to revive healthy sexual life with wife and it still didn't work quite well.

If that is the case, why not treat her with some Spanish fly and boost her sexual urge? If this works on her, I tell you in no time it's your turn to be the master. :D

Good idea! I also recommend TS to try.

TS u should try. The thread gt many FRs.

[Birkenau]

Sad but a common problem.

[nakorn]

I was screwing a married woman for around half a year some years back. We started off as friends cos I got to know her husband before I met her. Not pretty but petite with C cup and since we click well and as time goes by, we just naturally move on to the next stage.. having sex..

I was told that she do it with her husband once a month and she don't enjoy it cos her husband only interested to cum and he got a short dick. When I screw her for the first time, she was so shiok that she orgas. We started to meet up more often at H81 for more great sex.

She told me it's not about the size of the dick but the feeling she gets while she having sex. The attention which the man gives her.

TS.. did you miss out anything? :)

[NoIdea]

I met a girl earlier this year. We hit it off and soon were talking about dating. The problem was that she admitted she did not really like sex and intimacy. I told her honestly it is a big deal for me. Sex to me is a form of intimacy and trust. If I cannot fuck the girl I love, then who can I fuck? So in the end never get together lor.

[Sinalco]

No sex very hard la