need some advice, love or lust?

[sarahxx]

hello bros and sis

im a lil lost and need some advice here, ive been going out with a guy recently he's been nice to me taking me out for dates, dinners, movies. after every date he'll take me to make out with him bj hj etc.

how do i know if he is genuinely into me and not because of lust?

thx very much!

[jammer074]

Hi sis

You must ask yourself a few question

1. How long have you known each other before engage in sex?
2. Is it on every date will end with sex?
3. Have you ever try rejecting him and what was his response?


If the answer for above question is

1. Short period
2. Yes
3. Not happy or pestering you for at least a hj

Then most likely is lust.

Try rejecting him a few times and see the outcome.

[acidicavex]

After dates bring u to hanky panky ..... sound like lust sorry I might be wrong. But behave wise does sound like lust.

[jammer074]

hello bros and sis

im a lil lost and need some advice here, ive been going out with a guy recently he's been nice to me taking me out for dates, dinners, movies. after every date he'll take me to make out with him bj hj etc.

how do i know if he is genuinely into me and not because of lust?

thx very much!

After dates bring u to hanky panky ..... sound like lust sorry I might be wrong. But behave wise does sound like lust.


I too agreed with Acidicavex. Though I have told you to ask yourself a few question
But I strongly feel that it is lust base on your narration.

[naemlo]

how do i know if he is genuinely into me and not because of lust?



LUST :eek:

[siambee]

Lust.... super high chances

[sarahxx]

Hi sis

You must ask yourself a few question

1. How long have you known each other before engage in sex?
2. Is it on every date will end with sex?
3. Have you ever try rejecting him and what was his response?


If the answer for above question is

1. Short period
2. Yes
3. Not happy or pestering you for at least a hj

Then most likely is lust.

Try rejecting him a few times and see the outcome.

thanks bro for your input! :) to ans ur qns,
1. abt 4 mths
2. yes all our dates will end up with hank panky
3. whenever i reject, he will say that he really enjoys it and he can't help it when he is with me. so most of the time i will give in

it does seem like it is lust to me, or maybe his sex drive is very high?

[sarahxx]

After dates bring u to hanky panky ..... sound like lust sorry I might be wrong. But behave wise does sound like lust.

thx for ur reply! hmm what then is a 'love' behavior to you?

[edvil]

I will do the same for free bj and hj, maybe fj at later dates.
Where got love, it's lust all the way....no matter what promises...

[fictionman]

"After every date he'll take me to make out with him bj hj etc."..

This sentence alone is so powerful!!!!...Think u knw the amswer aldy

[Wintermelontea]

"After every date he'll take me to make out with him bj hj etc."..

This sentence alone is so powerful!!!!...Think u knw the amswer aldy

x2

BUT, I guess he is just super horny?

[sarahxx]

x2

BUT, I guess he is just super horny?

that's the thing.. i don't know if he's just super horny with very high sex drive or he's with me because of lust. we talk like how normal couples do and he gets jealous and upset easily.

[ah rat]

Ts,did u show yr neh neh & pussy to him.And did u let him piak U :)

[Koiz]

.. how do i know if he is genuinely into me.. not .. lust? ..
Go out but refuse all BJ/HJs. Give a reason to disappear home (each time) viz: ulcer (pain), toothache, not feeling well, exam, must baby sit, etc. Also talk enthusiastically of friend, relative; getting married - say very envious of them. Sound out his views for positive response. Pay attention to his body language.

If still dates you - OK. If not - 100% lust. Probably cheaper/cleaner/more fun to use you, than pay WLs - move on.

[sarahxx]

Go out but refuse all BJ/HJs. Give a reason to disappear home (each time) viz: ulcer (pain), toothache, not feeling well, exam, must baby sit, etc. Also talk enthusiastically of friend, relative; getting married - say very envious of them. Sound out his views for positive response. Pay attention to his body language.

If still dates you - OK. If not - 100% lust. Probably cheaper/cleaner/more fun to use you, than pay WLs - move on.

ok! gonna try that thanks ;)

[FatSpider]

u = sex toy

[tryherout]

Text him in advance that you are going to provide special HJ/BJ on a particular day, and see if he is more interested with dating content or the other.

[Tai_zi21]

I'm sure many bro here are willing to date u out for movies and dinner provided that u give them a bj or hj after the date

Do u think they love u too?

[prettymannequin]

Babe how old are you? I was 15 when I learnt that no matter how sweet or generous the guy seems, as long as he sees you as a toy, he will drop you when you're not putting out any.

Good luck sorting out your emotions babe!

[Lamborghini]

after every date he'll take me to make out with him bj hj etc.

Ditch him. Take care. :)

[Slaver29125]

Generally speaking... Guys are highly sex-driven when they are younger... Gals sex-drive generally peak much later...

From what you have eluded to date, well, I think most likely lust.

If you are uncomfortable with the act of HJ/BJ, just let him know, and if there is any love involved, he will (should) respect you. Non of those "me me me" bullshit about how "he really enjoys it and he can't help it... blah blah blah...". No point giving in if you don't enjoy the act too... coz you will end up building negativity around it affecting future endeavours... :o

[acidicavex]

thx for ur reply! hmm what then is a 'love' behavior to you?

Love behaviour is he yield to see u.... he crave for your companionship not those touchy one. But a true clean companionship. He sent u or walk u home bid u goodnight and still turn around to see u get into the lift. Msg u that he got home and say goodnight.

Although it sound old school and I dont know what or how the younger generation define love.

If by bj n hj for him mean he is into u than I guess I am indeed old school. Try what some of the bro mentiom denied him what he wants. Walk away a few times see his reaction. If he turn his face and start getting abusive well u know the answer.

Good luck gal and u sound very young

[nobodyisme]

I believe you know the answer. But you hope to think that it is LOVE that he has for you, and he is merely a young guy with a high sex drive.

You have to identify the tell-tale signs from his actions and things he say to you.

Can you try to resist giving in to his sexual requests and sees how he reacts to them?
You need to be strong and say 'No'. Stop doing anything sexual with him for the time being and see if he still meets you as often as all these while.

By the way, him being jealous or upset can be his true feeling, but it can be an act too. Afterall, (to put it bluntly) which guy would want to give up a toy that he can solely own?

[kcir]

Guy are like that, if there is free meal, how can don't eat, right? I am also a guy, if I love a girl deeply, I would respect all decision. But if I date a girl, and on first or second date, I can have all kisses plus some touching here and there. I would think of only free meal. So to see if he really love or like you, reject every move he wants, not one time, every times. If he continue date you and respect your decision, then guess he has love on you. But he keeps on insist while you reject every time, then you are likely his sex toy. And he would most likely move on to next target. If a guy really love a girl, he will show respect and stop doing things which the girl doesn't like. The girl in return after realize his true love would do anything willing to please the guy. This is what I think.

[11_Frog]

hello bros and sis

im a lil lost and need some advice here, ive been going out with a guy recently he's been nice to me taking me out for dates, dinners, movies. after every date he'll take me to make out with him bj hj etc.

how do i know if he is genuinely into me and not because of lust?

thx very much!


he is taking advantage of you, want free sex. :mad:

next time when he ask again, demand for money, telling him you need money to help settle your brother's gambling debt, pls not $100 or $300, ask for $3000 and see how he react ! ;)

[imdestinyz]

Actually alot of bros here have given you good advices :)

Hope aallis well... actuly I think you know the answer yourself

[sarahxx]

bros & sis that replied..

thx so much for ur thoughts, u guys are great i appreciate it. im much clearer nw, guess i needed some 3rd party affirmation. ill try out the suggestions that you gave.. and see how it goes. *crosses fingers*

[bebe69]

bros & sis that replied..

thx so much for ur thoughts, u guys are great i appreciate it. im much clearer nw, guess i needed some 3rd party affirmation. ill try out the suggestions that you gave.. and see how it goes. *crosses fingers*

remember to cross your toes too! hope all goes well for you

[Kalv]

.. thx so much..appreciate.. clearer nw,.. try out .. suggestions...
SBF is more for WL problems. Most would lust for free BJ/HJs - :p feel free to PM anyone (just joking - don't). SBF is not for a nice girl like U. Glad SBF is of some help in firming up your decision.

:) All the best.

[Wintermelontea]

that's the thing.. i don't know if he's just super horny with very high sex drive or he's with me because of lust. we talk like how normal couples do and he gets jealous and upset easily.


like this...i think there's a chance you two can become a real item and last long as i believe you enjoy the hanky panky as much as he does?

you are asking all these because you think you like him too...good luck. :)

[chatlovers]

thanks bro for your input! :) to ans ur qns,
1. abt 4 mths
2. yes all our dates will end up with hank panky
3. whenever i reject, he will say that he really enjoys it and he can't help it when he is with me. so most of the time i will give in

it does seem like it is lust to me, or maybe his sex drive is very high?


Dont you like going out with him and performing hanky panky? I beleive you like it too. So, If I say its your L-U-S-T then I am wrong becuase you do seem to love him. Don't you?

Sis. beleive on your own instinct. There is no formula to calculate if its love or lust. Don't lose a good guy (assuming he is) becuase of creepy doubts.

Many relation starts more with lust and turns into love.

[EnigmaofSorrow]

Guys are naturally horny creatures who think with their dicks.

If you want the same thing as him, then probably it's lust for you as well.

Love is something that has to be cultivated over a period of time, a couple of dates shouldn't be sufficient.

If you're out for a good time and you both enjoy yourselves, whether it ends with a bj/hj or some action in bed does it really matter?

Just my opinion...

:D

[BiRd13]

Sound lust to me..than love...

How high sex drive a person is... wont be asking u everytime u date... n one easy question.. after hj bj etc... dies he just clean up..n sent u home? Or will hug u...etc...?

IF 1st part..the answer is very clear. ..

[jonn88]

As a guy, I get very horny when i am with the girl i like. Even thinking of her will give me a hard on. If u want to test him, dun give opportunity for both of u to be alone. Eg meet for lunch during work day and u have to rush back office or have to rush home after a movie. Try for a few times and see whether he is still interested.

[sarahxx]

thx again bros.. u guys hv been giving me really good advice and insights. it really helps knwing fr a guys' perspective! :)

[imdestinyz]

thx again bros.. u guys hv been giving me really good advice and insights. it really helps knwing fr a guys' perspective! :)

So whats your next course of action? What do u intend to do?

[Wintermelontea]

thx again bros.. u guys hv been giving me really good advice and insights. it really helps knwing fr a guys' perspective! :)

:D:D:D pls update over here soon.

[wildcard87]

Yeah lady, test it out. I mean not that I'm an angel or what....I do get horny when I'm with my gf. But I meet her not because I want anything physical but just simply because I wish to see her and miss her.Can tell one lah. You women so sensitive.

[pleasurehobby]

Love and Lust is often not that clear vut. It is easy to say, but often it is a grey area. I find the easiest way to be clear, is ask yourself after sex, do you love her? If you still feel strong attraction after lust has been over, maybe its love.

Another way to find out, is when you dont meet, do you think about the sex? or the other moments you have together?

I find that for for guys its easier. Just PCC, and then ask yourself, do you still want to meet her that much?

[Pohchuan]

thx again bros.. u guys hv been giving me really good advice and insights. it really helps knwing fr a guys' perspective! :)

Food for thought! You have heard from the horny SBF guys' perspectives. Are you very sure that they are not skewed perspectives from horny mindsets? And you are putting your relationship at risk.

Think about it,it is a fine line between love and lust.

[baddboy]

u won't know, iike he won't know if its lust or love from u. why worry about that? enjoy the experience, have fun, its part of life, just enjoy it.. no matter it ends good or bad.. it will make u a better person

[hello1891]

My point of view 1st there is lust then there's love

[happywoody]

any update TS?

just my thoughts, has your bf professed his love for you?

what about you? have you used the word "love" on him?
what's his reaction?

does he treat you well?
does the relationship feel like it's heading somewhere? building your life together?

or u feel used once he ejaculates cos he can't wait to bail out?

[pleasurehobby]

Go out but refuse all BJ/HJs. Give a reason to disappear home (each time) viz: ulcer (pain), toothache, not feeling well, exam, must baby sit, etc. Also talk enthusiastically of friend, relative; getting married - say very envious of them. Sound out his views for positive response. Pay attention to his body language.

If still dates you - OK. If not - 100% lust. Probably cheaper/cleaner/more fun to use you, than pay WLs - move on.

Very good suggestion bro. Straight to the point. :D

[suckmelickyou]

when you love someone you will want the person to be happy. i used to have a ex gf for 4 years we made love frequently but one day she told me she feel like its something wrong as we are not married.

Instead of trying to persuade her i told her its ok and i can wait. Of course this behaviour is abnormal and she actually was seeing someone else behind my back.

but moral of the story if a guy really loves you he will not mind not having sex once in awhile. if everything also need to do then confirm is lust.

[Sasuke]

this is obviously lust y are ppl still doubting it? 4 months liao every date also hanky panky not obvious meh? Grow up girl u r just a free meal to him. If I really love someone after 4 months I would have;

1) take her somewhere romantic to enjoy sea breeze/watch stars and just some cuddling and light kisses without hanky panky.

2) I'll only let her bj if she request. If u love someone u would want her to shiok, not urself shiok.

3) I would have give her surprises, be it small gifts/flowers or even a special place. If u love someone u will do all this, if u don't, its just same routine and bj/hj.

4) I would have brought her home after the date maybe to watch some movies/spooning/sleep over. Its the kind of security that a guy can give by hugging her and loving her, not putting dick inside her.

[firejalan]

TS ... Any update..?
Think we r all v interested n curious..
At least I m...