Love found at the wrong time with the wrong person [Archive]

kenstud27

08-05-2014, 11:22 AM

Then i found her FB account, she loves to take photos but here's the catch : She is attached. That immediately dampen my mood and because i was attached myself, i decided not to go any deeper into it....until one fine day.......

We were supposed to come back to work on a weekend but due to some changes, she didn't need to come back. But i had to and i was kinda disappointed she wasn't here. So i msged her on FB and we started talking. This time round, we started talking on different subjects, more flirt rather.

And that was the turning point. Few days later, we exchanged contact number and we started messaging. Back then, she was still staying in a rented place so we could have the freedom of chatting and i get to know more about her. Came to SG 7 years ago and been with our company for 5. Very independent and only got into the current relationship 3 years ago. WHAT??? That's about the same time i met her!!! Fucked!!! I kept cursing and swearing at myself for not taking action back then when she was still single. But then, i wasn't posted to HQ so i only seen her once during annual D&D. So lan lan, continue chatting with her trying to sound her out for possible scandal......because i just got married. I didn't know how its going to pan out so i wasn't going all out. But the more i talked to her, the more i wanted her. At this point of time, i be honest, its all pure lust. So after fighting myself for about 2 months, i decided: What the heck! From our conversations, i know she have something for me and at the most, its just a rejection right?

So i finally plucked up my courage and asked her out for dinner, expecting to be rejected but nope!!! She said yes! Wow! Cool! We went to Clementi Mall for KFC (she loved KFC). Bought our food and sat down next to this old couple, then 1 of them said: "You guys like KFC? My wife too. Young man, your wife very pretty." I just laughed and said thank you while she was quietly eating her food but i can see she was blushing. I guessed bcoz both of us were wearing our wedding rings so they automatically assumed we are married.

I sent her home after dinner and we decided to take a seat at the playground under her block. It was clear night, quite breezy. I was still delighting to myself about the comment the old man made and kept smiling to myself. She saw and asked why i kept smiling so i told her: 人家说我们是夫妻，哈哈，听了都爽！ She replied: 你这个傻B!

Nothing happened that night, we just sat there and talked and talked and talked. I wanted to find out so much about her but didn't wanna scare her so i threaded very carefully. I realized there is something special about when compared with my other scandals. And after that night, we started to go out more. I would wait for her to finished work then go dinner together and walked her home bcoz its nearby. Although she stayed in the west while me in the east but it didn't matter. We just casually chatted down at the playground and sometime it would be for hours. Then sometime when her then bf called, she would lied to him saying that she is sleeping soon so don't wanna talk but yet she spent time with me downstairs.

That was the happiest time of my life, yes i had a wife, but people always say scandal feeling better. Then after a few months later, we became very close in office and people already started notice but no one dared said anything. Then one day, we were chatting about something that totally caught me off guard bcoz of her replies.......

*To be continued........

prettymannequin

08-05-2014, 11:35 AM

Hahaha please update soon! I have a feeling I'm gonna love this story.

Sen5eS

08-05-2014, 12:11 PM

Hahaha please update soon! I have a feeling I'm gonna love this story.

Can I camp with you too? pop corn ? :D

prettymannequin

08-05-2014, 12:16 PM

Can I camp with you too? pop corn ? :D

Hahahaha.

/throws popcorn down Sen5eS's shirt

kenstud27

08-05-2014, 01:05 PM

*To bros that responded, tks for liking my story. For a PRC, its rare that they don't have armpit hair. Even more rare that they trimmed below. More details to come as i unfold the story......*

That was the happiest time of my life, yes i had a wife, but people always say scandal feeling better. Then after a few months later, we became very close in office and people already started notice but no one dared said anything. Then one day, we were chatting about something that totally caught me off guard bcoz of her replies.......

It all started one day while we were at the playground, she was complaining of having a headache. So i gentlemanly offered to give her a head massage to help her ease the pain. So i pulled her forward and was facing her while massaging. Immediately her face turned red and she suddenly don't dare to look me in the eye. I didn't wanna cause her any discomfort so i acted blur. As the night ended, on my way home, she started msg-ing me as always.

M: 你和我一起，你开心吗？
Me: 当然
M：会不会想和我发生关系？

Honestly, i was stunned at this question. I been a rather good boy all this while, treated her with respect, no touching feely, even didn't try to 吃豆腐when chatting. So this came as a surprise, but keeping my cool, i replied:

Me: 哈哈。。。为什么突然这么问？
M:　突然吗？我觉得很正常啊。我觉得你是真心对我所以很自然会想和你发生关系啊。

Is she testing me? Should i jump right in? I hesitated, don't know whether to act 纯情or go all out. But somehow inside, i felt that this wasn't a test so i replied as appropriately as i can:

Me: 我当然想。但是如你说的，我对你是真心。如果你不要，我不会逼你。我现在每天能和你这样，已经很开心了。你到时结婚后，我们应该就没这个机会了。
M: 哈哈。。。。

M did not respond to that further and we just started to talk about some other frivolous stuffs. But back in my mind, i couldn't stop thinking about it. Nothing happened after that, nothing until 2 weeks later when i totally have forgotten about that incident. By then, we are going movies together, holding hands but still no kissing or sex. I was enjoying the 恋爱 feel with her. So jump to 2 weeks later, while at work, i received a WeChat from her.

M: 这个星期四晚，要不要来我家？
Me: 来你家？你房东不在吗？
M: 嗯，他们回马来西亚探亲，礼拜天才回来
Me: 好啊

I was excited, more than excited. I can't find the words to express myself. In the back of my mind, all the different scenarios are running through my head. But i kept my cool, don't think too much and let nature takes it course.

I waited patiently and didn't say too much about Thursday with her. Didn't wanna her to think i am excited about what might possibly happen. But i was expecting something to happen! Badly! By then, lil head is not able to stay down.

Thursday finally came, we made arrangement that i come over after 9pm bcoz she need to settle her bf first. So i went home, told a lie to my wife that i am crashing over at friend place for poker (even though it was a Thursday night) and she didn't ask much. I didn't pack anything and just went out like that, didn't want her to suspect anything. I got to M's place and there was a shopping mall nearby so i bought a few basic stuffs. Then i went over to her place and wait for her, wait for her to msg me. Kept looking at my phone, waiting for that green light to come out. Finally the msg come in: 我到家了，你上来吧。

I made my way to the lift, pressed to her level. As the lift goes up, so does my heart beat. I was fidgeting my fingers and all, i am actually nervous. I never been like this before. What the hell???

Reached her level, saw that her gate was open so i made my way over. Knocked on the door and waited, after 30 seconds, she finally opened the door. What greeted me was totally..........

*To be continued..........

copper

08-05-2014, 01:15 PM

Excellent writing with near perfect grammar and spelling. Good job! Thanks and keep them coming! Cheers!

eeemen

08-05-2014, 01:27 PM

Hahahaha.

/throws popcorn down Sen5eS's shirt

lol sis, you're always throwing pop corns eh? :D camping here too. Any for me? :p ;)

Bro TS, if you don't mind could you pls translate the Chinese parts of the story into English? Me banana, can't read Chinese, sorry! And thanks a bunch!! Cheers, ....................

prettymannequin

08-05-2014, 01:33 PM

lol sis, you're always throwing pop corns eh? :D camping here too. Any for me? :p ;)

Bro TS, if you don't mind could you pls translate the Chinese parts of the story into English? Me banana, can't read Chinese, sorry! And thanks a bunch!! Cheers, ....................

LOL popcorn is meant to be shared bro! I like them sweet though so you guys can have all the salty ones.

lostbird

08-05-2014, 01:42 PM

Bro,

Thanks for your great effort, very enjoying reading it:)

Regards

kenstud27

08-05-2014, 01:48 PM

Reached her level, saw that her gate was open so i made my way over. Knocked on the door and waited, after 30 seconds, she finally opened the door. What greeted me was totally amazing! She was wearing this white colour nightie when you can see her bra clearly. To be frank, i was so tempted to just take her down but i decided to act cool. She let me inside and i sat down at the dining table which was next to the door. Nothing fantastic about the house but then again, its not hers.

M: 我们去阳台吧，我要抽烟

So i followed. She left the lights off at the balcony, i suspected that maybe she afraid opposite neighbour will see us. We sat down on the floor, she leaned her head on me while she smoked. I don't smoke but i didn't really mind bcoz this is the closest we have been with one another since we started. At first there was silent, nothing was said and i really didn't mind. Loving that moment of silent. Then she finally broke it but was just casually complaining about work and things back at her hometown and all. I just sat there quietly, listening to her and admiring the way her lips move when she talked.

M：喂！你有没有听我在说话啊！
Me：有！有！不要打扰你嘛！

She slapped me on my arm and just got up suddenly. She said outside very cold so let's go into her room. Tada!! Finally!! I followed her into her room since this is my first time there. Simple setup...wardrobe and i can see all her clothes that she normally wears at work....right in the corner i saw some of her undies and bras, colourful....no bed frame, just a mattress on the floor.....then a side small table with all her cosmetic items.

She laid on her mattress, saying: 随便坐. I sat next to her, she took out her facial stuffs and started her nightly routine (know about that through our nightly chat, and she also disclosed that she sleeps naked bcoz she don't like the feeling of clothing on her when she sleep)

I still wasn't planning to do anything. Just sat next to her, admiring her while she do her thing. Chatting casually, trying my best to keep my cool and the atmosphere as enjoyable as possible. But every second that passed, i was starting to swallow more and more saliva. I can feel my heart pounding faster and faster. Should i make my move? I am so nervous i almost felt like this is my virgin night.

She finally completed her facial. She said she was tired and so she laid down on her mattress. I leaned down and continue talking to her. We were really close by now, i can feel her breath kind of close. But she wasn't looking at me while we are talking, just fidgeting with her phone constantly. Suddenly, i asked:

Me：为什么你好像不敢看我似的？
Ｍ：(long paused)因为你每次看我时，我都好有冲动想吻你。但是我又不敢。。。
Ｍｅ：如果我现在想吻你的话，可以吗？

She didn't reply, silent means yes? I was sweating, sweating in my palm, sweating on my forehead. I inched closer, she finally looked at me. Now my turn to get terrified!! Gosh! So drama!! I plucked all the courage i have in me and had our first kiss. It was nice, it was soft, just as i have imagined it. She finally responded and put her hands around my neck. There was no way i would back off now, i didn't want to! Lips locked, i opened her lips with my tongue. Softly, gently and ever so lovingly, i wanted more. She tighten her grip around my neck and we continued kissing even more passionately right now. I was totally lost in time, i didn't want it to stop. But i had to move on. I must explore the rest of this body that i have been fantasizing. I left her lips and moved around her face, she was moaning softly, perhaps embarrassed at our current position. But i was loving it, the sound, her respond. Her body was fidgeting non-stop and her legs was moving uncontrollably.

By now, my hands was exploring her body, from head to neck, from neck to shoulder, from shoulder to her breast, from breast to her waist, and finally to in between her leg. She was wet, she was ready. I was ready. I slowly lifted up her nightie, revealing her undie and bra.........

*To be continued..........

kenstud27

08-05-2014, 02:04 PM

For TS eeeman

As per your request, tks for supporting my story

…. i kept smiling so i told her: 人家说我们是夫妻，哈哈，听了都爽！(people say that we are husband and wife, haha, hear already also shiok) She replied: 你这个傻B! (you silly man)

…. M: 你和我一起，你开心吗？(when you are with me, are you happy?)
Me: 当然 (of course)
M：会不会想和我发生关系？ (will you think about having sex with me?)

....Me: 哈哈。。。为什么突然这么问？(haha…why you suddenly ask this?)
M:　突然吗？我觉得很正常啊。我觉得你是真心对我所以很自然会想和你发生关系啊。 (sudden? I think it is perfectly normal. I feel that you are genuine towards me so I think it is natural that we progress)

.…我当然想。但是如你说的，我对你是真心。如果你不要，我不会逼你。我现在每天能和你这样，已经很开心了。你到时结婚后，我们应该就没这个机会了。(of course I want. But like you say, I genuinely like you. If you are not ready, then I won’t force. Every day I can spent it like this with you, I am already contented. Once you are married, we will not have this chance anymore.)

….M: 这个星期四晚，要不要来我家？(This Thursday night, do you want to come over to my house?)
Me: 来你家？你房东不在吗？(come over? Your landlord not at home?)
M: 嗯，他们回马来西亚探亲，礼拜天才回来 (Yup, they going back to Malaysia and won’t be back till Sunday)
Me: 好啊 (Ok)

…. M: 我们去阳台吧，我要抽烟 (Let’s go to the balcony, I want to smoke)

…. M：喂！你有没有听我在说话啊！(hey! Are you listening to me?)
Me：有！有！不要打扰你嘛！ (Yes! Yes! Didn’t wanna disrupt you)

….Me：为什么你好像不敢看我似的？(Why do I feel like you don’t dare to look at me?)
Ｍ：(long paused)因为你每次看我时，我都好有冲动想吻你。但是我又不敢。。。(Bcoz every time you look at me, I have the urge to kiss you. But I don’t dare….)
Ｍｅ：如果我现在想吻你的话，可以吗？ (If I kiss you now, ok?)

Eric22

08-05-2014, 02:09 PM

Camper reporting in... :D

massage1001

08-05-2014, 02:29 PM

setting up camp

ch33zy

08-05-2014, 03:14 PM

Nice.. thanks for sharing.. this is the next story to look out for..

RenaCross

08-05-2014, 07:17 PM

Can I kiss her on your behalf ? :p

NRider

08-05-2014, 07:38 PM

This is one of most thread that updates come fast and furious..

Pitching my tent to support TS .. My 9 points waiting for you

Oink Oink

08-05-2014, 07:47 PM

Just in time for action to start. :D

kenstud27

09-05-2014, 08:57 AM

By now, my hands was exploring her body, from head to neck, from neck to shoulder, from shoulder to her breast, from breast to her waist, and finally to in between her leg. She was wet, she was ready. I was ready. I slowly lifted up her nightie, revealing her undie and bra. Her body trembles with excitement, i unclasp the hook behind and it unveils a almost close to perfect breast. Slightly more than a handful, nice light brown nipples, just the way i imagined it to be. This was not sex, it was a love making session. We took the time to explore each other, finding the spot that will make us weak. Crap, i could literally find myself falling in love with this woman at that moment. I tried to snap myself out of it, putting the obvious facts that we cannot be together bcoz of our partners but i couldn't. I didn't want to. I hate this feeling yet so loving it at the same time. Why? Why didn't i confess to her earlier? But i quickly dismisses all the thoughts and remind myself don't kill the moment.

The rest of the evening went on like a love novel, we made love, made love more than once. It was like we waited an century to be with one another. After our last session, we were both exhausted and she dozed off very quickly. But i couldn't sleep even though i couldn't barely walk as well. The sweetest moment of my life, i turned and look at M. Looking at how is it possible for someone to look so good even when they are asleep. I put my hand around her hand and brushed the hair off her forehead so that i can see her better. She looked even more stunning under the night moon light. She was awoken by my action, she asked:

M：不累吗？(not tired?)
Ｍｅ：还好，但是睡不着。你别管我，睡吧宝贝。。。。(Im ok, can't sleep. Don't worry about me, go to sleep baby)

The truth is, i am dead tired but i didn't wanna sleep. I didn't wanna miss this moment. This sleeping beauty right in front of me, everything about her was so perfect. I gazed upon her and i could actually see myself having a future with her. I have heard about stories of PRC and how they like to take advantage of local men but she was different. She always insisted to pay when we go out and would even throw a tantrum if i didn't let her pay. She is very responsible in her work and if she had better command in English i would have recommended her to work under me. But nonetheless, to me, there and then she was perfect and still is. Have you ever come across a woman that you would just do anything for her? Even lay your life down for her? I don't even have such intense feelings for my wife! I never had such emotions for all my other flings. I knew the rules, i know how this game is played but i am falling hopelessly for this woman.

I moved forward and pulled her closer to me, feeling her breath on my chest, i kissed her on the forehead and said:

Me: 我爱你 (i love you)
Ｍ：我也爱你 (i love you too)

*To be continued.................

kenstud27

09-05-2014, 09:43 AM

*Thanks to TS who have upped my points. I am sorry to have left out quite a bit of the sex details on my last update. When i started this thread, my purpose was only to penned down how much i miss M but nonetheless this is afterall SBF forum so what's a thread without some actions? Haha. So FYI, the sex part will not be exciting compared to the way the veteran bros here will write but its all more emotional based. Paiseh......*

I moved forward and pulled her closer to me, feeling her breath on my chest, i kissed her on the forehead and said:

Me: 我爱你 (i love you)
Ｍ：我也爱你 (i love you too)

The next morning, we got up together and got dressed for work. While i was wearing my shirt, she helped me to adjust my shirt's collar, helped me to adjust the lines on my shirt. No one has ever done that for me and i must admit that it felt so good. Took up my phone and saw plenty of missed calls and messages from my wife, i had turned it silent so i heard nothing last night. Well, that's another story and right now, i can only focus on M (selfish bastard).

Her place was only 15 mins to our office so we decided to walk to office together under the HDB blocks to avoid being seen. Something had changed, for the better of course. She dare to looked me in the eyes when we talked. There was an air of sweetness that surrounded us. That 15 mins walk was heavenly. We didn't hold hand but we know each other thoughts. Oh how i wished that time would just stop right then!! How is it possible that i can feel so much for someone! It is insane! Many years ago, i once had this feeling for someone too but was hurt so much by her that i made a promise to myself that i will never allow anyone to hurt me again!! So how am i going to get myself out of this mess!! Sigh

We finally reached the main lobby of the office and there was no one else waiting for the lift except us, but we still kept our distance to be safe. The lift arrived and we entered, i was hoping that there was no one that will come in and luckily, no one did. The moment the door closed, i turned around to faced her and we kissed. It was a less than 15 sec lift ride but that 15 sec of kiss was what i needed to get through the day. As the lift reaches its designated level, it bleeped and we knew we had to part lips. There was a sense of sadness when that came. Suddenly in the back of my mind, i suddenly was brought back to reality. No matter how sweet we are now, i am married and she is engaged. Our partners ain't treating us badly so there must be a level of responsibility towards them. It is so much easier to meet up now bcoz she is still staying alone at the rented place but she will be getting her new place together with her husband-to-be very soon and it will be harder to meet up. There must be a line drawn but i can't do it then, i still can't do it now. But then, who knows about the future? I took a deep breath and walked towards my desk, telling myself that come what may.

The next few days to come was absolutely sweetness to the max. We would steal kisses in office when no one is watching and as i was the security manager, i knew where all the cameras are so i got that covered. Bcoz we sat so near one another, we often would also looked at one another unknowingly and messaged each other non-stop throughout the day. My happiest time was that i know i can come to work and see her, knowing that we are going to go out after work. I was a changed man. I look forward to come to work on Monday. I started to dress more better bcoz she said that my dressing was very "uncle". My saddest time was when i know that after work we cannot meetup and when the weekend was coming, most of the time, she would spent it with her bf. But every now and then i would receive a message from her and that would brighten my day. My whole life started to revolve around her. I am always constantly looking over to my phone, waiting for her to message. And when we can't meet up after work, i would linger outside before going home a little longer, hoping that she would message me to go and meet her. But she knows that i stay on the other end of the island so she never done that. But she will video call me and we would chat, looking at each other like we are continents apart and haven't seen each other for months but the fact is, we just saw each other like 2 hours ago in office.

Things was going great, we started to become more adventurous. We would go to hotel on Friday, she would finish up her meeting with her bf and go home then come out after that to whichever place i booked. I would lied to my wife said that i need to go oversea for work. Typical scandal lies and i didn't feel good about it but i feel even worse when i can't see M. I wanted to give her the best and so all the hotels i booked ain't nothing lesser than 4 stars. She loved the Ritz Carlton the best. Spacious room and overlooking the harbour. But as sweet as the moments are, the date was drawing near to her ROM and i totally dreaded it. I became emo whenever i thought about it and she starting to sense it from me but neither of us wanted to talk about it.

It was coming to the end of 2013, people were all getting excited about the new year eve party. M asked what's my plan and i said no plan bcoz i don't like crowded areas. She said she will try to see if she can sneak out during eve but did mentioned that it will be hard bcoz her bf is quite the "sticky" type. I told her its ok, no worries about me. But of course i was lying, i really wanted to spend it with her!!

The day finally came, 2013.12.31. We had half day off from work so everyone was packing up and all looking pretty and handsome for the year's biggest party. I was sad, i wasn't happy bcoz i know i won't be able to spend it with M. She left a little earlier than me so we didn't even have a proper goodbye. Just as i was sulking to myself and cursing my life, a green light suddenly popped up on my phone and M sent me a message:

M: 宝贝，今晚我可以出来见你了！ (baby, i can come out tonight to meet you!)
Me：真的吗？？（really??)
Ｍ：是啊！他发高烧了。我本来说我就不出去，留着陪他但他说不想传染给我所以不要我留下（ye s! he is having fever. i told him i will stay with him but he didn't wanna pass the virus to me)

Of course when she said that, it kinda stung bcoz it kinda felt like im a backup plan. But i quickly got rid of the thought and was rejoicing that we can spend the eve together. We quickly made plans on how to meet up and all but bcoz it was so last min, i couldn't get a hotel in time. I was so desperate that i even went trying on budget hotels but even those are fully booked. I needed a miracle badly but i had no idea what else to do.......

*To be continued..................

prettymannequin

09-05-2014, 11:34 AM

Hahahah no worries about more lvydvy scenes bro! You got a female fan here who will absolutely adore it. :p

takashi31400

09-05-2014, 12:18 PM

Bro TS,

When i read your story ,i really understand how you feel. I experiance 95% of your encounter . Lucky is i am not with my gf which i know her from my company and we has been together for 10 years.
Wish you all of luck .

kenstud27

09-05-2014, 04:08 PM

I was so desperate that i even went trying on budget hotels but even those are fully booked. I needed a miracle badly but i had no idea what else to do. It was about 11pm when we finally met up. As usual, i waited for her at the playground, still cracking my head on where to go. She came down about 10mins after i arrived. Wearing a skin tight jeans and a black tube top, she looked absolutely yummy. She sat down and took a puff:

M: 怎么样？要去哪里庆祝啊？ (so how? Where are we going for celebration)
Me: 哈哈，我真的不知道。现在离倒数只剩下半个小时，到处人山人海。酒店也全部客满 ( Haha，i really have no idea. Only left 30 mins to countdown and everywhere is crowded. All the hotels are fully booked.
M: 没关系，那我们就在这里庆祝吧！(its ok, then let's celebrate here)

God i love this woman! I was really surprised at her answer and that really made the night more memorable. By then, we are just minutes away from the stroke of twelve. We both took out our phone and synchronized our time and started our own countdown......5, 4, 3 , 2, 1...:

Me: 宝贝，新年快乐! (Baby, happy new year!)
M: 宝贝，新年快乐也是!我爱你一生一世! (Baby, happy new year to you too! I love you now and forever)

You see, why i wanted to spend the eve with her bcoz on this day when you cross over from 2013 to 2014, the numbers 1314 in chinese represented "一生一世” which means "now and forever". I totally melted at that instance. We hugged and kissed for almost an hour to remembered this moment. For once, i know the person in front of me loves me as much as i loved her. For once, the feeling was mutual.

The kiss slowly became passionate and we were touching each other at the playground. My face was feeling really hot and i know what she wants. But there was no hotel available and her landlord was at home this time. Finally, an idea struck me. You see, her place is somewhere near a very popular nature reserve and there is location that is extremely secluded. And since it was new year's eve, i was certained that it will be.

Me：宝贝，受不了了。跟我来，带你去个地方很靠近这里。(baby, i can't take it anymoew. Let's go, i bring you to some place nearby.)
M：去哪里呗？(where's that?)

Wanted to kept it a surprise, i refused to tell her and led the way holding her hand. We crossed the road from her block and by now she kinda guessed where i am headed ......

*To be continued..........

bigbrudder

09-05-2014, 05:03 PM

Support for you TS. No such luck for me. :(

superman

09-05-2014, 06:07 PM

Camp for more:)

Reached her level, saw that her gate was open so i made my way over. Knocked on the door and waited, after 30 seconds, she finally opened the door. What greeted me was totally amazing! She was wearing this white colour nightie when you can see her bra clearly. To be frank, i was so tempted to just take her down but i decided to act cool. She let me inside and i sat down at the dining table which was next to the door. Nothing fantastic about the house but then again, its not hers.

M: 我们去阳台吧，我要抽烟

So i followed. She left the lights off at the balcony, i suspected that maybe she afraid opposite neighbour will see us. We sat down on the floor, she leaned her head on me while she smoked. I don't smoke but i didn't really mind bcoz this is the closest we have been with one another since we started. At first there was silent, nothing was said and i really didn't mind. Loving that moment of silent. Then she finally broke it but was just casually complaining about work and things back at her hometown and all. I just sat there quietly, listening to her and admiring the way her lips move when she talked.

M：喂！你有没有听我在说话啊！
Me：有！有！不要打扰你嘛！

She slapped me on my arm and just got up suddenly. She said outside very cold so let's go into her room. Tada!! Finally!! I followed her into her room since this is my first time there. Simple setup...wardrobe and i can see all her clothes that she normally wears at work....right in the corner i saw some of her undies and bras, colourful....no bed frame, just a mattress on the floor.....then a side small table with all her cosmetic items.

She laid on her mattress, saying: 随便坐. I sat next to her, she took out her facial stuffs and started her nightly routine (know about that through our nightly chat, and she also disclosed that she sleeps naked bcoz she don't like the feeling of clothing on her when she sleep)

I still wasn't planning to do anything. Just sat next to her, admiring her while she do her thing. Chatting casually, trying my best to keep my cool and the atmosphere as enjoyable as possible. But every second that passed, i was starting to swallow more and more saliva. I can feel my heart pounding faster and faster. Should i make my move? I am so nervous i almost felt like this is my virgin night.

She finally completed her facial. She said she was tired and so she laid down on her mattress. I leaned down and continue talking to her. We were really close by now, i can feel her breath kind of close. But she wasn't looking at me while we are talking, just fidgeting with her phone constantly. Suddenly, i asked:

Me：为什么你好像不敢看我似的？
Ｍ：(long paused)因为你每次看我时，我都好有冲动想吻你。但是我又不敢。。。
Ｍｅ：如果我现在想吻你的话，可以吗？

She didn't reply, silent means yes? I was sweating, sweating in my palm, sweating on my forehead. I inched closer, she finally looked at me. Now my turn to get terrified!! Gosh! So drama!! I plucked all the courage i have in me and had our first kiss. It was nice, it was soft, just as i have imagined it. She finally responded and put her hands around my neck. There was no way i would back off now, i didn't want to! Lips locked, i opened her lips with my tongue. Softly, gently and ever so lovingly, i wanted more. She tighten her grip around my neck and we continued kissing even more passionately right now. I was totally lost in time, i didn't want it to stop. But i had to move on. I must explore the rest of this body that i have been fantasizing. I left her lips and moved around her face, she was moaning softly, perhaps embarrassed at our current position. But i was loving it, the sound, her respond. Her body was fidgeting non-stop and her legs was moving uncontrollably.

By now, my hands was exploring her body, from head to neck, from neck to shoulder, from shoulder to her breast, from breast to her waist, and finally to in between her leg. She was wet, she was ready. I was ready. I slowly lifted up her nightie, revealing her undie and bra.........

*To be continued..........

ben.now

09-05-2014, 07:32 PM

TS those words of emotions u used on your tread are exactly what I encountered before. Weekend awaiting for her sms, usually keep myself available just in case she is available. Its a very silly and saddening feeling, not easy to get over with. Go on please, im very happy someone can pen down my feelings as im not exactly good with words to start a tread myself. When im reading your story .. my mind is flushed with flashback, sibei emo now.

alec

10-05-2014, 12:03 AM

I totally know how this feels. The thought of why not met earlier is just depressing but still mus be responsible to reality...

kenstud27

10-05-2014, 08:27 AM

* To those that can relate to my story, tks for the encouragement. As i still see her during the weekday, the emotional strings still run strong. The more i wanna forget the more i think of her.....

Wanted to kept it a surprise, i refused to tell her and led the way holding her hand. We crossed the road from her block and by now she kinda guessed where i am headed.

M: 你可别告诉我这里后面有酒店啊？(don't tell me there is a hotel behind here.)
Me: 哈哈，没有啦。我知道这里后面有个地方，这个时候没什么人的。(haha, no la. I know behind here there is a place, no people at this hour)
M: (slap me on the arm) 你是坏人。(you're bad)
Me:哈哈，但是你喜欢(haha, but you like)

We slowly walked up the steep slope. It was exceptionally quiet. The trees around had some rattling, could be the night animals. We walked for a good 10mins to reach our destination, a very quiet end of the nature walk path and it facing a huge man-made lake. It had a kinda eerie feel to it, being so quiet. I kissed her lips. I then reached down to her tube and fondled her breast. She started to moan, she wanted more and so with a swifr move, i pulled her tube down and she wasn't wearing any bra. Standing behind her, her beast looked absolutely beautiful. I grabbed one with my left hand played with her other nipple with my right. She moved away from my kiss and leaned back against me, holding unto my neck and her right hand reached behind for me. She started to rubbed on my crotch and she felt the nergy building up inside.

M:你是坏人，我现在要你 (you're so bad, i want you now)

My queen had commanded and so i obeyed. I carried her up and went to the bush behind, there was nothing there except the lake and we could see if anyone is approaching. She unzipped my jeans and slowly pulled it.down. She placed her face onto my boxer and reached for the top and pulled it down. Lil bro sprung out with anticipation, she hold unto him and started kissing him on the head. Such a teaser she was. She then engulfed the entire shaft into her mouth, i am of a decent size and length so she had no problem taking in the whole thing. It ws wonderful, magical. She started to increase her speed, i was standing up and grabbed her hair a little and moving my lower half accordingly to her speed, mouth fucking her. It was so exciting, getting a bj in the open like that and i could feel myself coming. So i stopped her, taking a little breather. It wasn't about my own enjoyment, i wanted her to enjoy it as well. I got her to stand up, i slolwy unbuttoned her pants and let it dropped, revealing a pink coloured lace panties. I could feel her heart beat as i made her turned around. She was already half naked by now and i removed the last piece of clothing by pulling her panty down to her ankle. I squatted down and started kissing her buttocks. I turned her around and kissed on her pubic hair around, she not clean shaven but she kept it well trimmed so it wasn't bushy and all. I parted her legs a little and started licking on her clitorus. I know what she likes and i serviced her like a schoolboy licking.on his lollipop. She was wet by now and i couldn't hold it anymore too. I stood up and turned her around qnd entered her, slowly i inserted my shaft in as i didn't wanna injured any of us. With one thrust i went all the way in and she reached behind to grabbed my left arm and let out.a.loud moan. Why is it that anything she do could be.so sexy?? I held her onto her waist and started my thrusting. Back and forth i go, both of us was enjoying the moment and the fact we are doing it in the open just added on to the intensity. She was loving it and i loved it when my woman enjoyed the session. She then suddenly pulled herself out and sat me down. She climbed on me and rode me, she was different that night, a bit more wild. I could feel her speed increasing and i know what that meant. I stopped controlling myself and increased my own actions too. She came first, clamping her legs around so tight and i exploded shortly after. We held unto one another, having that "never wanna let you go" feel. What a way to end 2013 and welcome the new 2014. Of course that night we did it more than once at the park but the most memorable was the way we celebrated.

It was about 4am when we finally got back to her block. For some reason, there was a sense of saddness as the lift goes up to the 17th floor. She was leaning against me on the way up, probably sleepy like hell. Oh how i wished that the lift will never reach its destination so that time can stop here now. But, no such luck. Lift finally arrived, she reluctantly stepped out, giving me a look i never seen before, a sense of lost and saddness. We both knew what was coming but it was inevitable. As she turned to leave, i don't know what came over me, i stepped out to grabbed her and kissed her. She held unto me tightly, knowing why i did what i did.

I reluctantly stopped and looked at her:

Me: 宝贝，我爱你。。。一生一世 (baby, i love you...now and forever)

She said nothing, she wept and nodded her head. But something are more meaningful even unsaid....

*To be continued.......

weewee23

10-05-2014, 08:32 AM

Super good writing!!!

ch33zy

10-05-2014, 08:34 AM

This is the cruelty of life.. u never know what life will throw at u.. in ur case, it's something good that came at a wrong time..

prettymannequin

10-05-2014, 08:57 AM

You got me pouting already hahahah, this is honestly really sad. :(

baudhd11

10-05-2014, 09:05 AM

oh my, what happened next

kenstud27

10-05-2014, 09:30 AM

The pain is still fresh and this is one story that you can't possibly share with anyone else. For all the condemnation we get from hyprocrites about sbf, i am so glad i can share my story here with people that understands. I teared even as i wrote down the memories but this tears has to be hidden. No one can ever kniw....will be slow to update the next chapter so pls bear with me.

babyckh

10-05-2014, 09:36 AM

Camping for more, bro...up you for your experience..

superman

10-05-2014, 10:59 AM

Cant wait for the next installment :)

kenstud27

10-05-2014, 11:21 AM

She said nothing, she wept and nodded her head. But something are more meaningful even unsaid.

We didn't meet up after that day until the next work day. Inside my heart, there was.an unexplained sense of heaviness. When we saw each other, there was a look od saddness in both our eyes. We know that no matter how sweet or how in love we are, what was coming was inevitable. It will happened, but what can i do? I'm married and i have my obligations to my wife. Even if i wanna divorce her, i still need to wait 4 years bcoz of the house. I can't be so selfish and asked M to wait for me. 2nd of Jan, the day went past slowly. We didn't talk much that day and didn't know what to say. The work day ended amd i was able to sent her home. We sat at our usual playground but still nothing was said. Perhaps she was waiting for me to say something but i really couldn't. What a coward! Then she finally broke the peace:

M: 很迟了，你也早点回去休息吧 (its late, you should go back and rest)
Me: 我。。。。我不舍得离开 (i....i can't bear to go)
M: 宝贝，我们都知道这一天要来的。你就别折腾自己了 (baby, we both know that this day will come. You should stop torturing yourself)

I didn't know what to say. I got up from the bench with a never before heaviness. Actually, there was so much i wanted to say but then, what's the point? Would it change the fact that tomorrow she will be someone else wife? If it does anything, it would only make the parting harder. I could be over-dramatized the entire experience:

M: 你别这样，结了婚我还是可以有自己的生活和朋友啊 (don't be like that, after the registeration i can still have my own life and friends)

I just smiled and didn't respond to that. I know her more than she knows herself. Based on the current situation we are in, it's already very hard for us to meet and it will be even worse after they move in together. I sent her to her level and kissed her good night, nothing more. I went back downstairs and instead of leaving immediately like i usually do, i sat at our bench for awhile. As the thought of us parting starts to take its form in my mind, i started to tear. I have never cried for a woman before, come on, wake up! You know the rules of engagement and the kind of relationship you are getting into so snap out of it! All the rational reasonings started to kick in but i just couldn't control myself. The truth was, i found love. I found love in the most unexpected place with the most unexpected person. I didn't want it to end but i have no rights to hang on to her. The feeling was horrible, i kept looking up to the sky, just to prevent more tears coming down. But i had to accept the cold hard truth that afyer tomorrow, no matter how much we are in love, something will change.

I knew what was coming and i absolutely hated it. Her messages started coming in, asking if i was on the cab and how far i was from home. I lied and said that I'm almost home. Reluctantly, i got up and eventually managed to flagged down a cab. The journey back was long and alone, in my mind, images of us together kept running through like cars on the highway i was travelling in. Lights from the street lamps flashes past me as the cab drove, each flash seems like knock on my heart. I was hurting, i was weeping. I knew that i love her but i didn't know i love her that much........

*To be continued.......

prettymannequin

10-05-2014, 11:42 AM

Aww bro... /pats

ch33zy

10-05-2014, 12:32 PM

Bro, i understand how u feel for this relationship.. really struck right in the heart..

kenstud27

10-05-2014, 12:39 PM

Lights from the street lamps flashes past me as the cab drove, each flash seems like knock on my heart. I was hurting, i was weeping. I knew that i love her but i didn't know i love her that much.

3rd Jan, i woke with a headache, perhaps from crying last night. Now i finally know how it feels. I got dressed for work but i know today would be different. I messaged M as usual, trying to act cool and normal. She replied with standard responses. Nothing was said about the event that was to come. I got into office and made myself a cup of coffee as usual. Perhaps its my mind playing trick oj me but the coffee tasted exceptionally bitter that day but i was fine with it. No amount of sugar can lift that aweful bitterness in my heart. As the progresses, i had no mood ro work. We kept exchanging messages, nothing serious, she just kept updating me about what she is doing or where she's at.

1000hrs : she finally got to the saloon to do her hairdo alone. I knew where she was at and i wanted so much to just drop whatever i was doing and run to her. To do what? Stop her? What if she rejects and i would just left an even brokenhearted man. Her bf was 10years her senior but had his own buisness so financially he can support her even if she doesn't work. She admitted to me once that before she met me, she only agreed to marry him bcoz she just wanna settle down due to family pressure and her family all liked him. Seen his photo before, nothing spectacular but most importantly, he treated her very well. Am i going to hurt him and my wife for our sake? I can't be that selfish but yet, this is the woman that i love. Dilemma. I couldn't decide. Eventually, rationale took over and i drop the idea.

1200hrs : she messaged that she was waiting for her ride with her sisters. She said she was feeling awful as she was forcing herself to smile but thinking about me. I tried my best to comfort her but seems like everything i tried saying are crap. I too was feeling awful and wished i could just flew there then and swopped her off her feet. The pain in the heart was piercing pain as i looked at clock.

M: 宝贝，车来了。不能和你短信了。晚上有机会才联络你。 (baby, the car is here so i can't message you anymore. Will try to contact you tonight)
Me: 嗯，我没事，不要担心。宝贝，祝你永远幸福快乐。 (ok, I'm fine don't worry about me. Baby, i wish you forever happiness)

She didn't reply after that. In fact, that was our last message of the day. Her scheduled timing was 1330hrs, as i looked upon my desk clock reaches 1330hrs, i closed my eyes and quietly said to myself: i love you baby, i will always love you no matter what happen.

It was a crazy day, i knew she couldn't messaged me as after the ROM she had reception and some photo taking. I was frantically searching through all the social media for her to update her pictures as we agreed that when she can't message, at least let me see the photos.

1700hrs : finally the first set of photos was posted and she looked absolutely beautiful. Her dress complemented her figure and her makeup just made her even more prettiwr. I saw her smiles and her photos with him, i was devastated, i was burning with jealousy. I should be the one next to her, her smiles should be bcoz of me but it wasn't. I almost went crazy at work. Why do i tortured myaelf like that! God have mercy on me! I got up and left my phone on the desk, went to the toilet and washed my face to calm down. Took a deep breath and finally calmed down. Its ok. Most important was her happiness, sometime there are certain things you can't fake. She really looked happy in those photos. She had to, that was the biggest moment in her life.

I stayed late at work that day, hoping that she would message me to meet up but that message never come......

*To be continued........

PeteTsang69

10-05-2014, 05:11 PM

i feel for you ...wont hijack your thread too much ...pls carry on ...but i can SO relate to the stuck dilema you're in

me loveless marriage...sticking it out kids sake ...no sex for years ...she seems happy with that, WTF!

have FB 6years, meet FB after 4 years no-sex, now she wants more, but i can't give more, she knows it, ...need to stay for kids... stay how long? have no idea ... FB wants to wait, feel bad FB waiting, told FB keeping lookout for BF at same time ...

every day my heart gets heavier and heavier, why?

becos i meet someone thru work biz, fell head over heals, so many qualities i admire in a woman, smart, sweet, gentle, do-er type.. went out supper twice only, nothing happened ... most is xmas hug
no more biz contact, months later texted me at midnight she fell hard for a married man but trying to resist, only told one person this - told me ... over weeks kept sending cryptic short messages ...i kept re-reading them ...BINGO, its me she likes ..

declared how i felt too ...then cold ...super short texts ..kept asking to meet up, she say yes, last minute back out ...didn't insist so as not to scare her away ...

then 2 weeks ago zero texts ...was so worried something happened, went to her carpark yesterday ... saw her with another guy, his hand on her back leading away from her car, she also saw me ... heart sank so fast and deep ...

tho its a mystery what really is happening there ...my guess is she don't want to break up a marriage, not knowing its already broken ... going to let her be. if she really feels for me, she will come back ...if not, then never meant to be...

i have to now declare the very cheesy fact that LOVE is most important in life, it brings out the best in us towards our partner, gives us energy to do things ...

let me quote something i read to describe me ..."living dead"

becos i now see i can no longer TOLERATE a LOVELESS marriage
before discovering this LOVE feeling ...i really thought thats life...no-feeling

becos its loveless, i don't like to do things as a family ...
becos its loveless, i don't feel ambitious in work/career, why bother work hard
just coasting on mediocrity ..

but things have changed...:)
what at change life can be when it is filled with TRUE LOVE
i am going to look till i find it ... and not settlle for anything less !

kenstud27

10-05-2014, 05:34 PM

*Tks to all who upped my points, wasn't really looking for points but just wanted to share my story.

For those who related to my story, that's the meaning of my title. Sometime the best things in life always come in the wrong time. But like what i shared through a PM woth a TS that consoled me. If today i had the chance to rewind time and make this decision, and knowing what pains i would suffer, i wouldn't have hestitated to go through it again. I rather find love with the wrong person and have that person once truly loved me than never having that feel. Its kinda stupid i know but life is never fair and its going through something so memorable that makes it worthwhile.

My next chapter will be why this experience was so memorable. Sorry for the late update but need time to gather my thoughts. Thanks once again for all your encouragement.

For those who have lost, stay strong. For those who have found it, don't ever you let go. Love her/him with all your heart bcoz you never know what will happen.

ch33zy

11-05-2014, 12:29 AM

For those who have lost, stay strong. For those who have found it, don't ever you let go. Love her/him with all your heart bcoz you never know what will happen.

True advice given.. do take heed of them..

kenstud27

11-05-2014, 10:49 AM

I stayed late at work that day, hoping that she would message me to meet up but that message never come.

The next day came and i woke up feeling very grouchy. Waited the whole night for a message but it never came. She posted some photos and i just kept on browsing through them. Millions of thoughts was flashing through my mind, did she finally came to her senses and made her decision to break up with me? Or was she busy so sh didn't have time for me? But if she were, how come there was still pictures being posted. These thoughts accompanied me all the way to work. Then her message finally came in, her usual morning greeting amd explaining that she stayed over at her "newly" husband's place so wasn't convenient for her to message. I just simply replied ok, i clearly wasn't happy and she knows it.

M: 不高兴啊？对不起，我知道你看了那些照片一定会难过但是我也不能不放。家里的人都一直催我要看呗 (upset? Sorry, i know you will be unhappy seeing those photos but i can't possibly don't post them. Plus folks at home kept chasing me for them)
Me: 没事，我明白。我一下就没事了 (its fine, i understand. I'll be fine after awhile)
M: 是吗？唉，对不起宝贝。我爱你。。。 (really? Sigh, sorry baby. i love you)

I was not fine, not by a long shot. I was burning with jealousy, i was like: "wtf! I don't need this shit! Who does she think she is!" I had a grand plan to break up with her, since you seems so happy to be his wife, then so be it. I wanted her to feel what i felt. I was determined. I got into office and made my coffee, sat down at my desk which was overlooking hers. I had the script of what i wanna do all planned. I waited for her, preparing myself that no matter what her response was going to be like, i will not change my mind. The office people started to come in one by one, but i will know it if it's her bcoz of her heels she wears, very distinctive. Right on the dot at 0740hrs, the door opened and the familiar sound from her heels approaches. She turned in and smiled at me and greeted me "good morning". Fuck! I melted from her smile and her voice. Whatever was conjuring in my mind simply dispersed into thin air. Who the hell was i fooling! I couldn't get her out of my mind yesterday then it was no way in hell I'm going to let her go just like that. I'm so screwed. People started to crowded around her to ask about the ROM and wanted to see her photos and all. And when she replied to them, she say things like "my husband this....my husband that..." It honestly cuts like a knife. I knew she knew i could hear whatever she was saying but i didn't respond. Caught her looking my direction a couple of time but i acted cool and like i didn't care. But the feeling was horrible, all i heard was how happy she was and all the well wishes. I wanted to die then, find a wall and run straight into it. Someone please end my misery for me. Just as i was whooping myself senseless with self pity and all possible ways known to man to killing himself, a message came in:

M: 今晚一起吃晚餐好吗？(dinner tonight?)
Me: ok

That message, that stupid message. Like magic, it suddenly appeased the fury and saddness within. It somehow just made whatever pain i was feeling, felt better. The rest of the day went on, i started to snapped myself out of the self pity and focused on my work. Time passed quickly and soon it was time to knockoff. We went to a mall nearby for dinner as i knew she should be tired to go anywhere too far. After dinner, i suggested we took the bus home as i know she was wearing heels the whole of yesterday so the legs must be pretty tired. Got off at her stop, we walked to our playground but we didn't talked much. It was a windy night, clear night sky and there wasn't much people at the playground which was surprising as normally at that hour we would see still a few kids at the playground and some old folks. We got to our seat and she told me to give her a second while she runs upstair to change and i said ok. While waiting, the mood in me suddenly changed again. I was going into my emo mood all of a sudden. I just couldn't stopped thinking about all the crap that had happened. In a month's time, she will move out of her rented place and bunk with her husband while they wait for renovation of their house to be completed. And she would leave the country to go back to her hometown for CNY so the time we are going to have will be even lesser. Once she moves in with her husband, it would be worse bcoz we can't meet up as often as we can now. With all the thoughts swarming in my head, i felt the tears coming again.

She finally came down after 20 mins and she apologized that she took so long bcoz he called. One thing good about her was that she was always honest with me when it comes anything and i really appreciated that from her. She could tell from my expression that i was thinking about something before she came down but i said nothing.

M: 宝贝，真的对不起。我知道你心里很难受但是你也知道我不能避免。(baby, I'm really sorry. I know you are feeling horrible inside but you know i can't avoid this)

Finally, i decided to be honest with her:

Me: 我知道你也不想但是我还是会伤心。我眼睁睁看着自己爱的女人和另一个男人一起结婚! (i know you didn't mean it but i will still feel sad. I had to go through seeing the
woman i love marry another man)
M: 那你为什么不来阻止我？我昨天多么希望你来，我知道你现在没办法承诺我什么。但是如果你真的来，我一定不和他结婚了。我会等你，就是没名没份我会等。 (then why didn't you come and stop me? I wanted so much that you would. I know you can't promise me anything, but if you really had come, i would neber had married him. I will wait for you, even if it means if there is no status.

I was stunned at her reply. I didn't know how to respond. I literally killed my own happiness with the only woman iever truly love bcoz i was too coward! Yes, i was afraid of the thoughts of losing what i have now if i pursued with M. The company i worked in, my brother in-law was used to worked there so he knew all my bosses. I would have to end my marriage and that would fall under infidelity and i would lose everything. But now, in front of me, i lost more than what i could ever imagined. I didn't want to do or say now.....i.....i.....

*To be continued.........

PeteTsang69

11-05-2014, 11:59 AM

M: 那你为什么不来阻止我？我昨天多么希望你来，我知道你现在没办法承诺我什么。但是如果你真的来，我一定不和他结婚了。我会等你，就是没名没份我会等。 (then why didn't you come and stop me? I wanted so much that you would. I know you can't promise me anything, but if you really had come, i would neber had married him. I will wait for you, even if it means if there is no status ....

WTF ! ! ! :eek: .... whats next ...? ... she willing to give up everything for you... ni ne?

prettymannequin

11-05-2014, 12:03 PM

WTF ! ! ! :eek: .... whats next ...? ... she willing to give up everything for you... ni ne?

He has much more to lose than she does...

kenstud27

11-05-2014, 12:07 PM

But now, in front of me, i lost more than what i could ever imagined. I didn't want to do or say now.....i.....i. Then it happened, her face became red and she fidgeting around on her seat. She was crying. So what's so great about her crying? Normally, for me, girls cry when i broke up with them. But this, for the first time, a girl cried for me bcoz she was in love with me while i still was in a relationship eith her. But what she said next totally changes everything:

M: 你知道我有多么爱你吗？我去到哪里都是想着你，看到什么东西都想买给你。哪里都是你，你叫我以后的日子怎么过啊! (Do you know that i love you very much? Everywhere i go i am thinking about you, everything i see i wanna buy for you. You are everywhere, how am i going live the rest of my days!)

At that instance, i said nothing. I reached over and hold her, tighter than i ever held anyone. I didn't wanna let go of her. I felt her body trembled from her sobbing, i felt her tears dripping on my pants. No one could ever fake that, and if she was faking it, she totally had me. But i wasn't thinking about that, i was thinking why did i had to hurt the one true love of my life! Why couldn't i just took the leap of faith and took the chance with her! At that point, my life was devasted with pain. Her last few words kept echoing in my mind and it was as if someone was pouring hot lava into my brain. I closed my eyes and just held her. I wanted to tell her that im there for her but i couldn't bcoz thats not true. The fact is, i love myself more than i loved her and i hated my own selfishness. What can i do? What can i say?

M: 对不起，把你衣服弄湿了。但是我真的控制不了我自己。我从来没有想到我会这么爱你。(sorr y, i wetted your shirt. But i really cannot control myself. I never thought that i would love you so much.)
Me: 宝贝，不要说对不起。你没有对不起我，是我对不起你。我因为害怕失去自己的一切而反而失去了你。(baby , don't say sorry. You have nothing to be sorry about, it was me that let you down. I was afraid to lose everything i had but ended up losing you instead)

She said nothing, just held me tighter. There was a long silence. We both knew what the ending was going to be but we didn't wanna admit to it

Me: 你曾经问我为什么老是瞪着你看。因为我害怕哪一天我不能再这样看着你了。真的对不起，是我对不起你。(yo u once qsked why i kept looking at you. Thats bcoz im afraid that there will be a day when i can't look at you the same way anymore. I am sorry, i let you down.)
M:宝贝，你别这么说。你没有对不起我。要怪，就怪我们两个相逢恨晚。有缘无份。(baby, please don't say that. You didn't let me down. If anything were to blame, we just net each other at the wrong time, no fate together)

We did nothing for the rest of the evening, just sat there and hugged. I brushed her hair on the back of her neck while trying my best to comfort her, but inside of me wasn't any peachy either. We almost sat there for close to 2 hours. People walked past and saw us, saw her crying. They must be thinking, bastard must have did something to harm the girl. And i did, i literally hurt the love of my life. I was so ashamed of myself bcoz there was an emptiness in her eyes, it was like something in her died and it was me that killed it.

Soon, she said she was having a headache from the crying so i told her let's call it a night. As i walked her to her lift, i could feel that something was about to happen. Incan say what but i knew. Something between us had changed that night. I kissed her goodbye at the lift and it was a unusually long kiss. It was like it was going to be our last kiss and we didn't wanna let go but we did eventually. She told me don't need to send her up and she was quite insisted on it so i didn't pressed on. As the lift closes its door, our eyes never left each other. I wayched as the lift accended and her face disappearing. I walked out to the main road, feeling lost and disoriented. I crossed the street to wait for my cab but before i flag down any cab, i turned my head and looked up at her unit. Even at 17th floor i could see her looking down at me. She waved her hands and i waved back. As the next cab came along i flagged and boarded, taking one last look at her it almost felt like our last goodbye......

*To be continued........

PeteTsang69

11-05-2014, 12:27 PM

He has much more to lose than she does...

hahaha ...agreed ...this is where is gets interesting ...

i am readying myself to cross this bridge one day ..it may be very soon ..

each of us has to make this assessement ..i believe TS when he says he is "selfish", cos he made that assessment and not willing to cross that bridge, yet ...

that's why i am readying myself now ...be less reliant on others for income/status etc ... when time comes, i can rebuild my life again, stronger

what price we do place on a hard-to-get "true-love" (skeptics, i too was before, won't underatand)? .... everyone will hv diff answer ...:)

prettymannequin

11-05-2014, 12:34 PM

hahaha ...agreed ...this is where is gets interesting ...

i am readying myself to cross this bridge one day ..it may be very soon ..

each of us has to make this assessement ..i believe TS when he says he is "selfish", cos he made that assessment and not willing to cross that bridge, yet ...

that's why i am readying myself now ...be less reliant on others for income/status etc ... when time comes, i can rebuild my life again, stronger

what price we do place on a hard-to-get "true-love" (skeptics, i too was before, won't underatand)? .... everyone will hv diff answer ...:)

All the best to you bro. :) Maybe one day you'll be writing your story too...

real_king

11-05-2014, 01:15 PM

wah piang. * to be continue leh.

but seriously is there true love in this world? i do think there is but not much cases.

kenstud27

11-05-2014, 06:12 PM

As the next cab came along i flagged and boarded, taking one last look at her it almost felt like our last goodbye.

Nothing much happened for the next few days but i was constantly looking at the calendar, remembering the date when she will be moving out of her house. I wanted to do something, something to remembered our time together. So I texted her:

Me: 宝贝，这个周末什么节目？(baby, whats your plan this weekend?)
M: 还不知道，怎么了？ (no idea yet, what's up?)
Me: 过了这个周末，我想我们以后应该没什么机会单独见面了。可以分出两天陪我吗？(after this weekend, i doubt we will have the opportunity to meet alone again. Can spend 2 days with me?)
M:宝贝，你别这样，看到你这样我会很心疼的。我也非常想念你。我会去安排的。(baby, please don't be like that, it breaks my heart seeing you like that. I miss you too. I will make arrangement.)

I was happy that she didn't reject which means she also wanted it. Immediately i went online to look for hotel room, found a place near Tanjong Pagar and immediately booked it for Friday check in and out on Sunday. Texted her the hotel name and the rest was to wait. I wanted to make this last stay the most memorable one for us. Its the least i could do for us.

Friday finally came and as always, i would leave work first while she would go out with him. I checked into the hotel and i must say i am quite impressed with the room. Not too expensive but the interior was good. A transparent window which you can see the bathroom from the bed. A window ledge overlooking the port from our room. The room was perfect. I turned on the tv and went to took a shower first. Once i was done, i went onto the bed and waited. It was a long day and i was really tired so not long after i dozed off. Suddenly my phone beeped and looking at the time i thought to myself that its still early, can't possibly be her? As i reached for my phone and unlocked it, it was her. It was only 830pm and she had finished her meetup. Told me she was on her way so i told her i would wait for her at the lobby. I was thrilled needless to say, it was a surprise. I arranged the flowers i have bought for her earlier and a little surprise nicely tucked away from plain sight. I went down to the main lobby a little earlier, i was excited to see my princess. Its not like this was the first time we are having our secret meeting but perhaps, it could be our last. She messaged that she is turning in now and i stood up, trying to look as a suave as i could. The cab arrived, she got out and she was wearing this long colorful beach dress and it almost seems like i fell in love with her all over again. I walked over and she melted my heart again, her smile and her long flowing hair as the wind carried it with grace. It was like a MV moment and i wished that i had a camera to capture that moment. Yup, love don't come often and maybe for some, it might never come. But i was fortunate enough to have found it in this lifetime. She came towards me and held my hand, seems like a bit tighter than usual. We walked to the lift and boarded to our room, i still remembered the room number, 1507. She entered the room and was impressed as me about how the room looked. But she was even more impressive than the room, i walked behind her and hugged her:

M: 傻瓜，怎么了？ (silly, why)

I didnt say anything but just turned her around and kissed her. We kissed, oh boy we kissed, like today was the end of the world. I pulled the string that held her dress up and let it dropped down to the floor. She was wearing my favorite black lacy bra and the matching thongs. I held her closer and our body heat met, i could feel her heart beating rather fast but so am i. I reached behind to unclasped her bra, her breast bounces out. I led her to the bench near to bed and sat her down. I leaned over and continued kissing her while she slowly reached over and unbuttoned my shorts, then pulling it down and started rubbing on my crotch with her hands. Her fingers was reaching in and she can sensed that I'm all ready. But i haven't had enough, i want savour the moment. I got her to stand up and leaned in front of the bench. I kissed her neck and down her back, i licked every inch of her body making sure that i didn't miss any part of it. She loved it when i do that and she concurred by moaning always so sexily. Her body began to quivered as i raised my hands to hold her shoulder, tingling my fingers down her back then to her waist, i removed her thong. She was wet by now, dripping with desire for me to take her but i wasn't planning to end it anytime soon. I made her tilt her buttock a little higher while i bent over a little to lick her. All the sweetness coming out of her, i could live on this forever. Every inch i used my tongue to sent signals down to her body, she reacted gracefully with a little bit of twitching here and there and completed the symphony with her moans. I was the maestro here and she was my orchestra. She begged me to take her but i refused to, i wanted to make her climax. And i know her sensitive spots, those time i took exploring her was paying off now. Her body suddenly turned stiff and i know the moment was close and all of a sudden she let out this amazing moan and i know i had accomplished the first part of my mission......

*To be continued.......

babyckh

11-05-2014, 10:40 PM

Bro, really 酸甜苦辣，带点咸。:D

ch33zy

11-05-2014, 10:53 PM

Wow.. all the heart wrecking parts are out.. really an emotional ride reading the last few updates..

kenstud27

12-05-2014, 06:44 AM

Her body suddenly turned stiff and i know the moment was close and all of a sudden she let out this amazing moan and i know i had accomplished the first part of my mission.

That was a powerful explosion from her and she immediately collapsed onto the bench. She had a satisfying look on her and she gathered whatever strength she could find and pushed herself up. She planted a kiss on my forehead and pulled me up to the bench. She got up and went to toilet, she pulled the blinds to the toilet window up and turned on the shower. Sshe also turned on the tap to the bathtub as well. She stepped into the shower and started to wash herself and when her motion was exceptionally slow yet sensual, i knew that this was no ordinary shower. She wanted me to see how she touched herself, she wanted me to remember. The way the water falls from her head and down to her body, every drop seems to echoed my desired to be that droplet that was running down her body; the way she used the soap to rub down her body, this woman has successfully turned shower into a form of art. I couldn't take it anymore and stood up but she signalled to me to sit down, she wasn't done with me yet. I had no choice but to obliged and to enjoy my show. It was a torturing 5 mins, the aim of the show wasn't to shower but to show me what she was capable of. Finally it ended and she gave me the permission to come in. She opened the toilet door for me and told me to sit down in the bathtub. As i got myself in position, she told me to move to the front and face the front. So domineering but i like. She then climbed to spot behind me and so it began, my special treatment. She told me to close my eyes and then used her hand to scooped up some water and poured it over my head. I could sensed that she was reaching for something and she then poured the shower gel on my back. She started to rubbed my back with her hands, it was so sensitive from the way she touched using her fingers to run up and down. She then leaned forward and used her body to rub me this time. I could feel her erected nipples and her breast moving around my back. The water splashed on the side of the tub as she moved, so slow and so tempting. Her hands reached down to my tummy, occassionally touching my shaft, intentionally and purposefully. I was burning with so much fire i could almost feel myself heating up the water with my passion. She started to kiss me on my neck and then using her tongue to lick my ears, my weak spot. The she grabbed hold of my shaft from behind and all of sudden i was in heaven, literally being serviced from head to toe. I finally surrended.

Me: 宝贝，受不了了 (baby, can't take it anymore)
M: 哈哈，报应!知道我刚才的感受了吧。走吧，一起去洗。(haha, retribution! Now you know how i felt just now. Come one, lets go wash)

Such a teaser. We got up from the tub and went to the shower together, we turned on the shower head and faced each other. We started to kissed while the water washed down our body. It was one of those overhead shower system so it felt like we were making out in the rain. But i didn't wanna waste the time in the shower so not long after we stopped and she helped me to wiped dry, oh gosh i felt like a king being serviced by his queen. I went out first and waited for her on the bed, she soon emerges from the toilet and went to the writing desk to take a sip of water. She then came over and kissed me and i realized that she still had water in her mouth and wanted to passed it to me. I swallowed it slowly, experiencing what it felt like to drink from a goddess. At that moment, i finally felt the full embraced of what it feels like to be in love. I am totally, utterly and hopelessly in love with this woman. Never have i felt like this for anyone and i doubt i will ever again. That moment, she took my breath away with how she looked at me and life was really beautiful bcoz of her. I prayed quietly to myself asking God to just stop time there and then. She knelt over me and leaned over me to my ears:

M: 老公，我爱你。不管以后发生什么事，你在我心里的地位永远都不会改变。(darling, i love you. No matter what happens in the future, your position in my heart will never change)

At that moment, i am totally hers. I pledged my life for her and i promised myself that i will love her till the end of my life:

Me:老婆，谢谢你这么爱我。我爱你，一生一世。(darling, thank you for loving me. I love you, now and forever)

We kissed and continued our love session throughout the night. We finally collapsed to what seems like an eternity of love making. As we rest our head, i looked at her as her eyes slowly closes, i didn't wanna lose sight of her. I held her hand and she responded subconciously by holding tighter. We were one body that night, there was no spouses in my our mind. We were like young lovers, perhaps like Romeo and Juliet, so in love but destined to fail. But i didn't care, fool be the one that worries about tomorrow and yesterday for they either have come to pass or we cannot control. I want to treasure the moment now, just us. It was more than physical attraction for us, it was a connection of heart that binds two different people to together. For the first time, i finally knows what it feels like to be in love with someone whom you can love wholeheartedly and give her endlessly. If only this night, this time, will stand still and never ends. If only.....

*To be continued.......

kenstud27

12-05-2014, 10:08 AM

For the first time, i finally knows what it feels like to be in love with someone whom you can love wholeheartedly and give her endlessly. If only this night, this time, will stand still and never ends. If only.

Morning came, the curtains was closed shut to block out the sun from outside. But i kept one of the entrance light on, i opened my eyes and the first thing i saw was this sleeping beauty in front of me. I didn't wanna wake up her so i just stayed by her side till she woke up. A beep on her mobile woke her up and i kinda guess who it could be. But she didn't check her phone immediately, she opened her eyes and smiled at me. We didn't say anything but just kept looking at one another, smiling at the moment of bliss we were in then. I moved forward and touched her face gently, kissed her on the forehead and said good morning. That was life, going to bed making love with the woman you love and having her waking up next to you the next day. I knew she had to respond to her message so i told her that i will go and wash up first, she understood my meaning and proceeded to do her thing. Shortly she came inside the toilet to wash up as well while i got into the shower to take my usual morning bath, of course i cheekily asked if she would wanna join me. She of course declined and said:

M: 再进去等下又回到床上了（go in again we will end up in bed again.)

I laughed at her reply and she gave me a spank on the butt. She waited for me to finish but i purposely took my time in the shower and she started to scolding me but of course we know she was joking. Took us almost an hour since getting out of bed to get ready for breakfast. We didn't take up the hotel breakfast but walked to the opposite market instead. For the first time, we were like a real couple, holding hands in the public in broad day light. Deciding from stall to stall on what to have for breakfast. It was wonderful, a much desired scenario i have been dreaming for so long. After breakfast, we then went to the nearby NTUC to get some stuffs. While walking down the aisles, we stole kisses every now and then and i took the opportunity to pinch her butt a few times. When we got to the cashier, she put her arms around me and hugged me while we waited for our turn. I could see the eyes of many that was looking at us, most probably envious of why would this beautiful lady be around me. I was proud and i was happy, i was in love. It was less than 1 week away from CNY so we decided to buy some CNY posters to be placed in our office, we choose the designs that we both liked and bought it. We were carrying bags of stuff like we are some old married couple just finished shopping for our weekly stocks for our home.

We spent the rest of the day in the hotel mostly, watching shows and just enjoying each other presence. We talked about a lot of frivolous things such as if we were together now officially, what kind of house will the other person like, what would we do to spend time together, what names we would name our kids. I even joked that let's wait 5 years for her to end her marriage then we can be together to fulfil all that we talked about and she responded well to that. Of course we knew that whatever was being said there are all talks, no commitments and no baggage. We knew what was coming but just for these 2 days, we wanted it to be just ours. Of course after talking for awhile, i began my nonsense to teased her and we end up having sex again. In the evening, she asked what i want for dinner and i said i have no idea.

M: 这里附近有一家韩国餐，很不错。要不要试？（there is a korean restaurant nearby which is not bad. Wanna try?)
Me: 好啊！（ok!)

You see, i am very anti-Korean so if anyone that knows me will know i will never step into anything associated with Korean. But for her, i am willing to let go of this and even eat their food!! Oh my gosh, can i be so in love with her???? We went into the place and even though it was very crowded, we still managed to find a seat. She did all the ordering of food and she even did all the cooking, refusing to let me do anything at all. She BBQ-ed the food, place all the food and ingredients in the vegetable wrap and handed over to me. Perhaps Korean food wasn't that bad after all or maybe it was bcoz it was fed to me by her, i enjoyed my first Korean food. We took a few selfies and the place itself which are now in a specially created QQ account that i maintained for only our photos and only we can see it. I felt like we are married, this was how i pictured my married life to be but sadly my real one wasn't like that. Negative thoughts kept running through my mind but i refused to entertain them. I didn't wanna kill this moment.

We finished our dinner and took a stroll around the area, all the way to Chinatown area. It was a little too public and i could see she was feeling a little uncomfortable so i said i was tired so let's head back, she agreed. As we were walking back, i asked her on her trip back home after CNY. After talking about some things, i suddenly had an idea and ask:

Me: 反正你回去一个月，不然我过来找你然后我们一起回来。（since you are going back for a month, how about i come and look for you and we can come back together)

She hesitated for a moment, she was thinking. She continued to smile and said nothing. I didn't pressed on and just continued walking back to the hotel. After we had finished our shower together, we were sitting by the window ledge overlooking the Tanjong Pagar port. I was holding her from behind and she finally broke her silence:

M: 老公，对不起。我真的很想带你回去见我家人但是我不知道如何解释。怎么我老公一走就有另一个男人来找我。说是同事也很难解释因为是人都应该猜得到我们是什么关系。你明白我意思吗？（darling, sorry. I really wished to bring you home and meet my family but i don't know how to explain to them. How come my husband just fly off then another man will come and visit. Even if i say that you are my colleague, it will be quite obvious to anyone on what relationship we are in. Do you understand?)
Me：我当然明白。只是希望能和你多相处而且看看你家是怎么样罢了。没关系，当我没说过，不要你难做。（o f course i understand. Just wanted to spend more time with you and see what's your hometown like. Never mind, pretend i didn't say it, don't want to put you in a difficult situation.)

Shit, i knew at that moment i shouldn't have suggested going with her. She was really troubled over it, i know that she wanted me to go but inside her, she was fighting with her moral dilemma. I kept telling her to forget it but i knew the damage had been done and i honestly didn't mean it.

The next day, we woke up and her husband messaged her again. She told him that she was feeling unwell these few days so she didn't wanna meet up with him at all. And plus her landlord don't allow people to go to her place so she knew she had that covered. But now he wants to come over and bring her to go see doc and maybe bring her back to his place, upon hearing her conversation, i hinted to her to just go back. She reluctantly agreed after i kept insisting on it. We checked out early and i sent her back via cab. In the car, i was holding onto her hands very tightly. Our wonderful weekend had ended and we are coming back to reality. As the cab pulls in at her block, i paid and we alighted. I hurried her to go bcoz i know he will be coming any time soon. Just before she enter the lift, she quickly turned around and gave me a long kiss and a longer hug. It felt sad, i can't explained it. Even though i knew we will still see each other but there was an sadness in the air. I let her go and she stepped into the lift, it was painful seeing the door closes. I waved goodbye to her and the lift started moving. I stood there at the lobby and make sure the lift reaches its destination. Then my phone beeped with her message: 老公，我永远爱你。。。。。

*To be continued........

prettymannequin

12-05-2014, 11:09 AM

Hahahah I wanna cry alr wtf I'm such a guniang. Thumbsup TS for sharing your touching story~

bigbrudder

12-05-2014, 11:33 AM

Hi TS, amazing story, lots of emotion. I really dunno what to do if I am in your position.

kenstud27

12-05-2014, 01:44 PM

I let her go and she stepped into the lift, it was painful seeing the door closes. I waved goodbye to her and the lift started moving. I stood there at the lobby and make sure the lift reaches its destination. Then my phone beeped with her message: 老公，我永远爱你.

The weekend was finally over and i can finally see M again. During that time, weekend was the most unbearable bcoz apart from not being able to see her, the thought of them together and his hands over her really got me upset. But then, he is afterall her husband so he has all the rights to touch her. And as usual, i bought breakfast and drinks for her. I took out the CNY posters that we bought during our weekend getaway but i wanted to wait for her to put it up together. Right on the dot, i could hear her walking in from the entrance and she greeted me with her usual smile. After eating her breakfast, she started to do her work. Normally after weekend she would have a lot of things to clear, and knowing the kind of deadline she would be in, i normally don't disturb her at all. But that day, just before she goes on to the production floor, she dropped me a message:

M: 宝贝，到时我回去，你就看如果还有机票的话，你就看可以不可以在二十三号后过来吧。然后酒店方面我会帮你安排，我家那里很多所以不用担心。（baby, when i go back, you can check if there is still airplane ticket available, you see if you can come over around after the 23rd. I will help you with the hotel reservation, my hometown has a lot of hotels so don't worry.)

I was surprised and thrilled at the same time, i honestly wasn't expecting this at all so of course i agreed immediately. I wasted no time and went online to check on ticket available, as it was still during CNY period so the price was still high but i didn't mind. I checked with M on which airline should i buy, so once all was set, i made my purchase. I was so happy that i kept smiling to myself, kept thinking about the possible things we could do over there. I wanted to take photos with her to remember the trip. I even said that we might make this a yearly thing, told her that in one of our photos, we could select a place where she would recognize and every year we are there, we will take photo at the same place but at a different distance. Would make it like a progressive thing so that we can look back at it many years later. As you can tell, i was really excited and happy. So much so that i failed to recognize something, how was this affecting her. She no doubt love me, but yet she had this very strong moral obligation towards her husband. Her husband is a Mr Nice Guy, apart from the occasional drinking and playing mahjong, he really don't have much activities. He would even paid for all her expenses such as meals and mobile bills. So by cheating on him, it caused so much stress on her. In my own happiness, i failed to see that she was actually suffering from her own dilemma.

CNY came and went very fast. I didn't take any extra days off bcoz i knew M didn't too so i want to come back and keep her company. By then, she was already busy preparing on the things she wanna bring home to her relatives and such. Our time together became lesser as she needed her husband to drove her around to get some of the items. Our messages also got lesser as she was either busy with work, busy buying things or busy group chatting with all the relatives from home. I understood all that and tried my best not to engage her so as to not add pressure on her. Of course it felt nice when i got the her raw messages telling me that she miss me or asking what i am doing. And i would just ask how are her things getting along. When she could, i would meet her at her place to see her for awhile, i don't need long hours, just to make sure she was ok and if she needed anything. But these meet ups are really short but i didn't mind. On one of the meet up, she told me that she has confirmed on when she would move out of her rented place, just the day before she flies off. Make sense, since she won't be around for a month so no point paying another months rental but that would also mean we won't be able to meet like this any more after that. Sad but another sad truth in our life. I was upset but quickly got over it, i kept the thought of seeing her at her hometown and our possible annual meet up there to cheer myself up.

Days passed very fast, it was the day she was supposed to move house. She took leave that day, she updated her WeChat with various photos on her luggages and boxes she had packed. She will be moving it to her husband current house first as their new house was still under renovation. So apart from the morning messages, we didn't had the chance to talk anymore. The following day was a Saturday and her flight was scheduled at night. But as she now stays with her husband, i couldn't see her anymore and it was hard for her to message me. I was quite emo for the entire day actually, kept waiting for her message and constantly checking for photos but there was none. It was the ROM episode all over again. But by 8pm that night, i finally got her first message. She had just entered through the custom checkpoint, she would be flying home alone first while her husband while join her in a week's time. But her messages wasn't as much as usual but i guessed she must be busy messaging her relatives as what she had been doing these past weeks. Never mind i told myself, i will see her soon i said, just to make it feel a bit better. She did sent me a few pictures of her at the airport and she looked yummy, kinda miss having sex with her.

I wanted so much to go to the airport to see her off but i knew it would be impossible as her husband would be there with her so i didn't. I told my wife i need to bring the dog down for her business but actually i wanted to talk to M before she flies off. I called her on the phone and upon hearing her voice, it was soothing that it made the whole day of anxiety and sadness just disappeared.

M：Hello! 宝贝！（Hello! Baby!)
Me: 终于听到你的声音了, 我好想念你啊！（Finally can hear your voice, i missed you so much!)
Ｍ：对不起，真的没时间和你联络。好累哦，飞机好像延误，没想到晚班还那么多人。（sorry , really had no time to contact you. I'm so tired, plane seems to be delayed, didn't expect still so much people during night flight)
Me：不要紧，反正飞晚上，等下就可以在飞机上睡了。（Never mind, anyway it's a night flight, later can sleep on plane)
M:希望吧。你要好好的照顾自己知道吗？我会很想你的。（I hope so. You must take care of yourself ok? i will miss you a lot)
Ｍｅ：嗯，我知道了。你也是。到了那里记得一有机会就短信我抱平安ok？（Yup, i know. You too. Remember to message me once you are there to let me know you are safe ok?)
M: 我会的，好了不聊了，应经很晚了，你去休息吧。（i will, ok its quite late, you should go and rest)

I didn't wanna to and kept telling it's ok, i can bear the tiredness so we continued to chat until her flight called. We continued to chat via WeChat. I wanted to tell her how much i missed her and really want to be with her right there but i didn't wanna her to leave feeling guilty. I wanted to be with her as long as i could, even though my eyes was closing as we spoke. I forced myself awake, but soon, her flight was calling and she told me she had to board the plane already. I messaged her to take care and that i love and miss her very much but i think she must have switched off her phone already as there was no reply after that. My heart kinda sunk, for some reason, something was out of place but i couldn't put my finger on it. Something was different, something was missing. I really couldn't explain it but it almost felt like the woman i love was leaving for good......

*To be continued........

kenstud27

12-05-2014, 02:09 PM

*To all the TS that have upped my points, really thank you very much for your support and encouragement. It is really heart-warming to see so many people coming forward with their advice and sharing their experiences. I wanna apologizes to those whom my story struck a chord and perhaps brought back unhappiness thus making you sad and perhaps cried. The reason why it took so long for me to complete the story was also while writing it down, it really brought back memories, memories so sweet and enduring. It when i remembered them, i can't help but cry too. But for me, either i am at work penning it down, at home or writing it on my mobile, its not so easy for me to write everything down in one go. So i ask for all your patience.

I hope that with the next chapter i would be able to finish my story so thank you all once again for your care and concerns!

PeteTsang69

12-05-2014, 03:07 PM

kenstud27

12-05-2014, 04:22 PM

bro TS ...

can explain u married, yet can booked weekend alone and now travel overseas alone ...

not asking for tips how you did it :D...just wanting to know more details thats all...cheers jia you!

Lies, a lot of lies. My advice, if you never start, don't. Its a hole so deep you either die of your own guilt or you become a total bastard. I became both a bastard and died of my own guilt

bigbrudder

12-05-2014, 05:04 PM

Lies, a lot of lies. My advice, if you never start, don't. Its a hole so deep you either die of your own guilt or you become a total bastard. I became both a bastard and died of my own guilt

Hi Bro, you must have perfected the art. Not easy to continually coming up with stories to cover up for ECA. You do love her a lot ... this is not affair, but a love story. Only thing is, we dunno what it will be in 10 years time.

Hopefully a happy one like Charles and Camillia.

kenstud27

13-05-2014, 05:33 PM

Something was different, something was missing. I really couldn't explain it but it almost felt like the woman i love was leaving for good.

It has been 2 days since she left, takes about 4 hours to Beijing than another 2 hours to transit back to her home town. Should have messaged me by now but there was none. She did told me before she left that her local SIM card could not be use there and the card she was using before can't be use anymore bcoz her family had forgotten to renew the contract thus it had expired. I know there could be a lot of other reasons that she couldn't send me a message but the ones that kept lingering in my head was all the negative ones. Did she lost her phone? Did something happened to her? Her message used to be so prompted and i knew how much she depended on her phone, all the chats and other stuffs, she would have got a replacement SIM if i knew her. Soon, my mood started to spiral downwards and i was feeling damn emo and moody again. Feels like i was going into depression, the uncontrollable mood swing. I had no mood for anything, not food or even mood for work. My eyes was fixed on my phone, waiting for the familiar beep and that green light to come on. I knew it was pointless to call since she had turned off the phone on the local SIM. The 2 days of communication silence felt like a decade, what was going on?

It was Tuesday morning, i had no mood to go to work but still i have my responsibility to fulfill thus i got up from bed reluctantly. First thing i did when i opened my eyes was to check my phone, still no message. I was getting a little upset rather than emo now. What the hell could be holding her that she can't even send me a freaking message?? Got out of the house with vengeance in mind, almost like i wanted to kill anyone that rub me wrongly that day. I wanted to hit someone, i wanted to destroy something. The journey to work was even horrible, everyone that boarded the train, there was always something that i found fault with: stupid dressing....ugly face.....PRC.....damn the PRC...I HATE PRC!! Just as i was about to hit the climax of my anger, it finally happened....the BEEP!! I moved at lightning speed to unlocked my phone and i gave a sigh of relief, it was from her. And instead of a normal message, she left a voice message:

M: 宝贝！非常对不起！到现在才短信你。一直没机会去买充值卡然后家人都搞得我晕头转向。(bab y! i'm so sorry! only now i had the chance to message you. Didn't had the chance to go back the value card and my family been pestering till i'm dizzy now)

The tone of her voice, it was like a magic pill that took all the negativity away in a instance. I wasn't angry anymore, in fact, i wanted to cry. She knew i must be crazy with anticipation by now so she sent me a voice message instead. I replied back to her via message bcoz i'm not used to leaving voice messages. We continued messaging each other throughout my entire journey to work, it felt like we hadn't met each other for 10 years. Or at least it felt like that to me. She uploaded photos of her home at her home town, her family and the food they ate. How i wished i was there with her.

1 week had passed quickly and it would be another one and a half week of communication blackout, bcoz her husband will be flying up to meet up with her. I told her if she can't message me, then just upload photos to let me know she was ok. Sigh, sometime i don't know whether i am a sadist or what. The photos she uploaded were all with her husband and her family together. She used to tell me that with her husband, there was no love, she only married him bcoz before she met me, he was there for her and she just wanted someone to take care of her as she was tired of being alone. But when i saw the photos they took together, that smile, the way they hugged each other when taking photos, that looked like someone in love. I knew the pain that i would experienced when i saw those pictures but i can't control myself. I would automatically go to my phone to see if she had uploaded any new photos. Then apparently this trip back, they had planned to have a wedding banquet to invite all the folks at home for their wedding. I was burning with jealousy when i saw all those photos. How beautiful she looked, how happy she looked. Then 2 days after the wedding, they had planned for a studio family shot as well. Gosh! I wanted to slam my phone against the wall! I wanted to kill him!!! But i took a deep breath and let rational took over. How could she not post them? Her husband doesn't know about us so if she didn't post then it will attract questions. Even if she wasn't, she had to pretend she was happy and excited and all. Was she pretending or she was really happy? Sigh. All the pain i put myself through. But i told myself, her happiness was all that matters, as long as she is happy, does it really matter? Even though i was able to convinced myself to believing that, deep inside there was still unsettled feelings. I began losing my sleep, each night i slept barely for 2 hours. I didn't had mood for food, i kept making mistakes at work. I couldn't concentrate, all i cared about was that the date for my flight would come soon so that i could fly over to see her.

It was a grueling 3 weeks but i finally made it through, i am finally on my way to the airport. Told my wife that i will be going to my oversea plant to do audit, i packed like i was going for work and just some winter wear as M's home town was still cold at that time, -20 degrees. My wife drove me to the airport and i kissed her goodbye and we hugged before i got into custom, i felt bad for all the lies but i couldn't care less. All i wanted was to zoom myself to see M. I was early at the airport so i walked around the duty free shops. I passed by Swarovski at Terminal 2 so i decided to go in to take a look. We didn't celebrate Valentine Day together so i wanted to get her a present, and i bought this necklace for her. I knew she won't be able to wear anything too obvious as her husband might get suspicious so i specifically chosen something she could get for herself and thought to myself: I think she will like this. Another hour before boarding, timing seems good with no new of delay so that was good. I walked to Starbucks and got myself a latte. Uploaded a photo of my latte on WeChat while checking in my location. I couldn't message her as her husband was still around, the funny thing was, the flight that i was taking? He would take the same flight back to SG. But as her family would be sending him off from the airport so she couldn't pick me up. However, she had left me directions and i was no stranger to travelling alone plus it was in China so i had no problem with communication. Made my way to the boarding gate and there it was quite pack, just like how it was for M when she flew. Saw a few pretty and cute SYT but i wasn't too concerned about them like i usually would, before i met M, i would used this opportunity to get to know these SYT and hope that i would get lucky, after all i wasn't hideous. Pretty presentable and i knew both chinese and english so i know PRC dig that. But i didn't do any of those and i realized how much M had changed me, more than i could have ever imagined. Power of love? Haha. So i decided to keep to myself, playing on my own phone and just waited. Flight attendants started to come out and got ready for passengers boarding. As they started to call for boarding, i joined the queue slowly but not before i left a posting on WeChat to say that "Goodbye SG", of course that was M to see. Spotted a few cute stewardesses but i choose to ignore them. Plane started moving very soon as the boarding procedures went on smoothly, soon, we were on the air. I was excited, can't wait to see M, so much things i wanted to tell her and share with her while her absence. I wanted her to know how much i missed her, how much her presence here meant to me. These thoughts accompanied me throughout the flight until i finally dozed off.

Bling....bling....the lights in the cabin came on, we have finally arrived in Beijing. Got off the plane and it was freezing in Beijing, - 12 degrees i remembered. And as the news had reported, the haze situation was really bad there too, compared to the ones we have in SG, SG was like Genting Highland (minus the cold). The transit time was only an hour and i knew how crowded the custom was at Beijing so i quickly made my way there, didn't want to miss the transit flight. And i was right, it was crowded but at least it was moving so that's good, almost felt like crossing the JB causeway. I was cleared within 10 mins and just in time as the boarding gate just opened so i didn't had to wait too long. Finally, 2 more hours and i can see my princess. Sometime, you really had to lose something to really understand their importance. Even though i didn't lose her, but the separation almost drove me mad. The plane started moving and i was in the air again, filled with eagerness like a kid waiting to open his present on X'mas morning. I didn't sleep this time as i had enough of sleep from the last flight and i was just too excited to really shut my eyes. But i had to get my mind off so that i won't get a headache as i knew i would if i kept thinking about something constantly so i watched the in-flight entertainment just to burn time.

*To be continued.............

kenstud27

13-05-2014, 06:23 PM

Time was good to me as before i knew it, i had reached my destination. Crossed the custom and after collected my luggage, i went to the taxi stand. Good weather at about - 10 degrees with not much wind. I boarded a taxi and gave the driver the address that M had passed me, took a few photos on my way there of the surrounding. Her home town is what is known as industrial zone so there was a lot of factories, in fact, Volkswagen China assembly plant is there as well. About 15 mins away from the airport, i reached the address that M had given me. A neighbourhood next to a giant field. I didn't had the chance to get a SIM card so i used my phone to message M that i have arrived, never mind the oversea charges as nothing was more important than her. She replied saying that she was on her way back from the airport and was surprised i was even faster than her. So she told me to wait and if i was feeling cold, i could just go into the bank behind me which had heater inside. I was so eager to see her that i wasn't feeling cold at all, ok ok, maybe just a little but i came prepared with my hootie and gloves. 10 mins later, i saw a familiar figure and then she was. After not seeing her for almost a month, she looked so beautiful with her black coat cover from neck to knee and with her little fashion boot. She greeted me with no hug, which was kinda disappointing but later then i found out that this place that i was waiting at is her home. Her family lived in a apartment upstairs but of course i never got to see it. She led me to the back of the street and we started to look for a hotel. She was hoping to get a decent hotel near her home so that it would be easy for her to run back and forth which also indicated that she won't be staying with me throughout as she mentioned it would be difficult for her to do so bcoz of her family, they are all in a group chat which her husband was also inside so if anyone mentioned that she was not around then she would be in trouble. I understand her predicament so i didn't make a issue out of it, after all, all i wanted was to spend time with her. After walking around for about 2 streets away, we came across a hotel which she didn't recognize and it looked pretty decent from the outside so we decided to check it out, it was one of the Ibis group hotel. Rooms from the brochure looks ok and the price was pretty decent so we decided to take the room, of course she insisted to pay for me:

M: 这里是我的地盘，你来玩当然是我出钱。把钱收回去不然我生气了.(This is my place, you come to enjoy of course i will pay. Keep your money back or else i will be upset)

I didn't wanna argue with her so i obliged. We collected the keys and went up to our room. The moment we were in, i expected her to suddenly turn around and give me a kiss or something but none of it happen. She examined the room and commented that it is actually very decent looking and just collapsed on the sofa. Perhaps she was tired or something so i went to unpacked my stuffs. But i must say i felt disappointed that she wasn't as warm as i expected her to be, given the fact that we hadn't seen each other for almost a month. Something was amiss here, something just didn't feel right. She was still busy playing with her phone, messaging mostly. Then she said:

M: 对不起，今晚我不能留下来陪你因为有朋友要过来我家找我但是我没办法推掉。明天晚上我一定可以（Sorry , i can't stay over with you tonight as my friends are coming to my place to look for me. Tomorrow night i will ok, promise)
Me：没事，你去忙你的吧。(Its ok, you go do your stuff)

Of course i wasn't ok with it, i was very upset but i didn't wanna kick up a big fuss on my first day there and spoil the rest of the trip. She went with me for a quick bite before she left and kept apologizing. Then the first day was over. I went and got the Wifi password from the hotel receptionist and just stayed in the room the rest of the night. Occasional messages from her but suddenly i had this very distance feeling from her. I went to bed that night feeling miserable.

The next day came and she messaged me early too. Told me her aunt came to look for her to go hair saloon so she would only come over when she's done which will probably be about noon time. I just replied ok and just stayed in the room. The rest of the morning i just stayed in the room and watched tv, luckily they had cable so could watched some US movies. I was getting a little irritated and started to regret coming for the trip. It was almost 230pm when she finally messaged that she was on her way over. The door bell rang and i ran over to opened the door. Once again, all the emo feel just faded away the moment i saw her but until now still no hug. She again collapsed on the sofa and i told her to shut her eyes:

M: 为甚么？（why?)
Me：你把眼睛闭上，有个惊喜（just close your eyes, have a surprise for you)

She closed her eyes as she was told and went to got the Swarovski necklace i bought for her. Put it on her neck and i asked her to open her eyes:

M: 谢谢你！怎么突然买礼物给我？（Thank you! Why suddenly buy present for me?)
Me: 情人节快乐！（Happy Valentine day!)
M: 唉呀，都已经过了而且我都没买礼物给你呗！（aiya, its already over and i also didn't got you anything)
Me:没关系啦，你喜欢就好。（its ok, as long as you like it)

Can tell from her expression that she likes it but it wasn't something that got her really excited which was again not what i expected. She started to strip and got out of her clothes as she likes to go naked when alone, and of course we ended up having sex. But even the sex felt funny, it wasn't as passionate as usual. It was like doing it for the sake of doing it, it was great, but just a funny feeling to it i cannot explain. Something seems to be in her mind and it was really blocking her from connecting with me. She stayed over that night and we didn't talk much as she was constantly either on her phone or watching the tv. The mood in me was really getting pretty bad and i have no idea if she felt it but even if she did, she wasn't doing anything about it. The sky turned dark earlier there and it was already pitch dark by 7pm. She brought me to a nearby message place where we would get our massage both in the same room. The massage was good but i didn't enjoyed it, i couldn't help thinking about what was wrong here. The massage finished and we went for dinner after that before heading back to the hotel. I really really started to regret coming for the trip. It totally wasn't what i envisioned it to be. I felt that M was so distance from me, when i talked to her, her replies was like one sentence responses; when we laid on the bed, she was on her side of the bed while i was on mine when in the past she would cuddle up next to me or at least laid on my shoulder. Was i thinking too much here? Or is she just tired? Nothing made sense and i really wanted some answer.

The next day we went for breakfast and she had to go home as she said she didn't wanna her family to worry although they are used to her going out to friends house to stay a night or two. She said she would come over
after dinner so i waited. Then when evening came, i received a message from her saying that her mum seems to be not feeling well so she might come a bit later, just to make sure her mum was okay. I got really fed up when i saw the message and i replied saying that she should just stayed home to look after her mum. Her reply was: "好吧，那今晚我就不过来了因为我真的不放心她。（ok, then i won't come over tonight as i really am concern over her)

Upon seeing her reply, i almost wanted to cry. I really wanted to. The next day i would going home already and i really wanted to spend more time with her but that was so abrupt and it almost felt like she didn't want to spend time with me at all!! She messaged that tomorrow morning she would come over and go with me to the airport, her cousin would send us there as she mentioned to him that her colleague came over to work and visited her. If her cousin was going to be there, then what difference would it made if i go alone. So i told her its ok, don't bother since we can't be alone and don't want her to go back and forth. She did made a few insists of coming and kept apologizing that she didn't had much time to spend with me. But i was really upset by now. I insisted that no need and when i checked out the next day, i would like the deposit with the counter so asked her to come and collect it when she can. She said ok and reminded me to take care and messaged her when i reached the airport. The words exchanged was so cold, i think i replied to my boss more with more feelings than we were doing now. I couldn't sleep that night again, i began to suspect i am starting to get insomnia. At about 2am that night, i was still wide awake and my mind just couldn't get over the fact that how bad this trip went. I then decided to got up, went to the writing desk and took out a few pieces of paper and started writing:

"Baby, by the time you get this letter, i would have flown back to SG. I love you very much and i really was looking forward to this trip. But when i came and saw you on the first day, i felt like something was wrong but i didn't wanna think too much about it. Then the next few days, i felt like you were so distance from me. Did something happen? What's going on here with us? Do you still even love me??

Back in SG, just before you flew, i could already felt something was wrong. We barely had time to meet, after you moved in with him, your messages became lesser and i understood why. But even in office, you were constantly messaging your family and him but not to me. If you are tired of me or want to break up, please tell me. I understand the situation we are in right now and i don't expect anything more from you. I just wanted to see you and hear your voice, even if it is just for a minute. I never wanted you to do anything that will cause you discomfort or made you feel guilty.

So if there is anything i ever ask from you, please be honest with me ok? I love you baby, now and forever"

*To be continued........

ben.now

13-05-2014, 06:38 PM

Omg... u must be feeling like shit after such cold treatment from her.. I feel u bro. Its probably the worst feeling. I cant help thinking abt my past after reading your story.

the pain is still with me untill now... 很痛很痛。

This is the moment when I feel that my sacrifice for her is not worth it.. of cos I didnt blame her. She had her reasons for doing these. I

babyckh

13-05-2014, 08:29 PM

I understand your feeling bro as i had once gone thru' something as similiar as urs. It can be eztremely painful to hope for something that will never happen.

But end of the day when we get old, the only person who can be by our side to take care of us is our wives. Noone else. Tat's life. Tat's the only reason we have to let go to be fair to our spouses.

C0NSTANTINE

13-05-2014, 11:46 PM

Nice story and good read

bigbrudder

14-05-2014, 09:26 AM

Hi Bro, sad to read these 2 instalments. Sounded like she only needed you back in SG.

tiredstrides

14-05-2014, 10:10 AM

Bro, I understand how you felt.
Take care.
The pain of losing someone you love will never go away.
You just learn to live with it.

prettymannequin

14-05-2014, 10:13 AM

Eh bro is she an Aquarius hahahaha.

kenstud27

14-05-2014, 10:28 AM

Eh bro is she an Aquarius hahahaha.

She is an Aries

kenstud27

14-05-2014, 10:29 AM

Bro, I understand how you felt.
Take care.
The pain of losing someone you love will never go away.
You just learn to live with it.

Still trying but based on your response i think you have similar experiences and know how hard it can be

kenstud27

14-05-2014, 01:13 PM

With that, the night continued with me sitting at the desk, looking blankly into the night sky. Dawn came and i prepared myself to go to the airport. Upon checking out, i left the deposit and the letter i wrote in a envelope and told the counter that M would be coming later to collect it. I went to the airport feeling damn sad and depressed. I came a happy man but left broken-hearted.

I turned my phone back on in Beijing but there was no message from M, she should have received the letter by now but. It was then I knew something was truly wrong, if there was no problem she should have replied immediately. The fact that the reply was delayed would only meant that what I wrote had some truth and she didn’t know how to respond to it. I sat there at the bench at the boarding gate, feeling alone and sad. I have never felt this alone before, it was like the people in the airport was non-existence and I was all alone in a black void, an endless void where no one can hear me or reach out to me. I took out my phone constantly and kept browsing through her photos. What did I do wrong? Was I being too much for her? But I never asked her for anything that she couldn’t give such as insisted time with me. I wanted to be just by her side whenever she needs me. I wanted to be her guardian angel that will be there when she is happy so that I can share her joy, be there when she is sad so that she has a shoulder to lean on or at least be there when she has a problem at work and I can give her some advice, if not, just be a listening ear. Was I being too over-bearing? So much thoughts went through my mind and the more I thought, the more I felt like crying. I could feel the first drop on its way so I immediately tilted my head upwards to prevent it from dropping. I could still hear people chattering about, footsteps and trolleys moving around, and the announcement of the PA system. The announcement finally came for my flight to be boarded and so once again, I joined the queue to board. The scene seemed so familiar, the last time I did this, I came with so much anticipation and excitement. But now, all im left with was a empty and hallow shell. I was so tired, I could barely moved my body as if my soul had been drained dry from the body. I knew what I was doing but I just couldn’t control my emotion. I got to my seat, got a window seat this time but I didn’t had the mood to enjoy the view. The moment the flight took off, I adjusted myself to sleep. Perhaps all these was a bad dream, maybe when I wake up, everything will be fine. Maybe…..

The plane arrived in SG right on time and by then, my phone had no more battery. Just as well, maybe there was still no message from her and my wife came to picked me up so I won’t be able to read or reply her anyway. I had to pretended that I was happy to see my wife, it was not that she was repulsive or anything but I just can’t find the joy within. She noticed that there was something wrong with me and kept asking if I was ok but I simply replied that I am tired from the flight. Just a few causal exchanges about the weather and how the “work trip” went, had to be very careful about what I said so that everything tied back to my endless lies. From the airport to my home was less than 20 mins so I was more than glad that I didn’t had to had more small talks with her. Poor thing, all these time she didn’t even know that her bastard husband was cheating and lying to her. I got home, dropped my luggage and brought my phone to charged. Went for a quick shower, I didn’t turn on the heater as I wanted the cold water to calm me down. It was already very late so my wife crashed out before I came out from the shower, I walked to the my desk to checked my phone, the green light was on. She finally replied, or was that an message that came in from someone else. But that will be highly impossible as almost everyone I know will Whatsapp me while only a few will WeChat message me. Took a deep breath and unlocked my phone, it was from her. I didn’t immediately read the message, I wasn’t prepared for what possibly could come. Went to the kitchen and got myself a can of Coke Zero, turned on the fan at the study while I transferred the charging of the phone there. Sat down on my chair, I looked up to the ceiling and mentally prepped myself. This was her reply:

“Yes, your feeling was right. I distanced myself from you. Not because I didn’t love you anymore but because I didn’t know how to face myself. When I first saw you downstairs my house on the first day, the thought that came to my mind was: What kind of woman am i?? My husband barely left me and here I am meeting another man, at my home town!! I couldn’t face myself, the guilt and sadness which really tormented me! I knew how I would have felt that was why I didn’t want you to come in the first place. But then, I knew you really wanted to be here so I gave in.

You kept wanting a status between the both of us, but how do you want to define us? Definitely not boyfriend/girlfriend. Lovers? But I think both of us have more feelings for one another than a fling or rendezvous relationship. Is really a status that important? Can’t we be more natural? I am truly disappointed over your letter. I thought by now you understood me. What I want is the feeling between 2 person, with a look in the eyes you would know the care and concern. Without words, you would know that I am always thinking about you. With you around, I feel safe. Doesn’t mean that I don’t see you then I don’t think about you. Or when I don’t message you means you are not important. To you, you deemed relationship as something physical or something you can see or touch, then to you, that’s real. You will believe it exist. That’s our difference.

Please don’t think too much, I really expected you to be more matured than this. Maybe we both needed sometime away to think things though between us.”

The message really was like a knife through my heart. I kept on reading over and over again. I knew what kind of relationship we are in and I have never asked for anything more than what she can give. So where was all these thoughts coming from? Isn’t it normal for a man to miss a woman if he loves her? Is it too much to ask that as and when you can, you will drop me a message to let me know how you are or you miss me? My heart sank, and for the first time, I regretted being in this relationship. I gave my heart to her yet it was tossed back to me like some unwanted piece of paper. I remembered when we started, our messages was so much that it exceeded her data plan! I remembered that it was her that messaged me most of the time as I never knew if her husband was around her so the deal was that she will messaged me when its safe for her. Gosh!! I never cried so much for a woman before and I hated myself for being like that. What did I do wrong that you have to treat me like this? If it is so difficult for you, why not just break up with me? Just say it, I will back off. The tears was warm and endless, streaming down so much it wetted my shirt. I sobbed silently as I didn’t want my wife to hear. I grasped my fist so tightly that the nails bended. I started to trembled, I couldn’t think, I couldn’t focus. I wished that I could have died there, just take my life! I am no better than being dead after what I read. It was a horrible experience! Why…..why…..why…..

*To be continued……………

Nuahster

14-05-2014, 01:42 PM

So sorry about your sadness, bro. Totally understand how you feel. Went through almost the same thing, right up to the part where my selfishness eventually pushed her away. Took me a few years to get over this and understand my lack of maturity in handling the whole situation, especially the constraints and guilt that she had to go through daily while trying to keep me happy.

I tell myself that I must handle myself better if I ever fall in love again. Almost 10 years have passed but no one has been able to touch my heart like her.

bigbrudder

14-05-2014, 02:35 PM

Never saw that part coming. The worst kind of loneliness to suffer. :(

tomyumgong

14-05-2014, 04:15 PM

story so real and full of emotions...Well done bro...well...for you, you have live once and love once...that's enough....the rest is not important

prettymannequin

14-05-2014, 04:42 PM

If it is so difficult for you, why not just break up with me? Just say it, I will back off.

But bro, the thing is, she didn't want to simply break up. Cause the feelings are still there, how to say break up then break up? She simply needed you to understand her situation abit more, that that the reality of her being someone else's wife has already sunk in for her.

TBH I was in a similar situation once, which is why your story captures my heart so much. When I read this portion of her message,

When I first saw you downstairs my house on the first day, the thought that came to my mind was: What kind of woman am i?? My husband barely left me and here I am meeting another man, at my home town!! I couldn’t face myself, the guilt and sadness which really tormented me!

it really resonated with me. Because after exchanging goodnight over the phone with my boyfriend whom I'm in an LDR with, I'd be picking up another call from a guy I was becoming attracted to. But the guilt was honestly killing me and everytime I picked up his call after talking to my boyf, he'd sense the distance as well.

I'm interested to see how your story pans out... hopefully it'll be much better than mine. :o

PeteTsang69

14-05-2014, 06:00 PM

Bro TS
Read again ur letter to her left at hotel. Nothing wrong. I would hv written the same one. All u said was that she was distant/different.
You wished her no additional burdens. So u asked her, pls clarify what is going on. And if she needs to break up, cos can't tahan, just let you know.
its not u who wants to break up, you just trying make it easier for her if she wants that option ...

Her reply was harsh. Calling you immature.

What i see is miscommunication. Or lack communication . And need for couple to clarify matters. Sometimes we guys maybe blur. :o So educate us, but no need question our feelings :)

kenstud27

14-05-2014, 06:43 PM

I didn't sleep that night until about 4am. I just couldn't close my eyes, in my mind, the contents of the message kept flashing. Why the fuck did i allowed myself to be hurt again? Fucking stupid! Fucking messed up! Fucked....no, i can't. I can't get mad at M, there was no way i could ever be mad at her. I was way too in love with her, in the midst of my sadness, all i could remembered was how nice it was to hold her hands, the fragrance of her hair whenever i stand behind her on the escalator, how she would throw her princess tantrum when she can't get her ways with me, how soft her lips felt wjen we kissed, how her cheeks would look liked a hamster whenever we go for a meal. There was no fault that i could find in her and for that, i hated myself. I started to sobbing but tried my best to be as quiet as possible so that my wife won't hear. It was only after 330am that i finally stopped and by then, i was having a massive migraine. I told myself i need to stop thinking, just take a breather and control my emotions. Got up from my seat and left the phone there continuing its charging, went to my bedroom and laid next to my wife. I turned my face away just in case she wakes up and see the tear marks. I was tired by now, i started drifting off to sleep, hoping and praying that God would have mercy and give me a good dream....

Woke the next day and felt like i had a wild night out drinking but i can't drink to save my life. Opened my eyes and looked around the room, reality sucks! I wasn't dreaming of last night, it did happened. The moment i established that reality, the pain came back with a vengeance. But this time, i was able to think more rationally. Thinking about the message she wrote, was it true? Was i really giving her those pressure? Yes i did. As we got closer, I wanted more. More time, more physical. But how could she? She was already married and she had to fulfill her responsibility to her husband. No matter how much she loved me, there had to be a bottomline with me and that was where i failed. I was ready to throw my marriage out for her. And of course with that kind of mentality, i adopted a limitless attitude with M. I was just plain selfish, both to M and my wife. Its all about what i wanted, but did i factor in the pain and guolt M was going through? I thought all along she was on the same mindset as me and she would want what i wanted as well. Thank God for her sanity. At least between the 2 of us, there was 1 person that could think rationally. If we were both single, then this wouldn't have happened but the truth was, we are Not. I had to forced myself to accept the truth, she wasn't playing me, she loved me. But she was being true to life, fulfilling her rightful obligations as a wife. Come to think of it, if she really could ditch her husband just like that, then what's stopping from doing the same to me when the next best guy comes along? Yes, i let what i wanted became such a strong desire that it became the greater evil in me. Perhaps sounding alittle too drama but it was just that. A line must be drawn, or else we not get ourselves hurt, we will hurt those innocent parties as well just bcoz we couldn't control ourselves.

There was a few messages exchanged after that incident, but none was to talked about the message she sent. A week later on 8th April, she was back in SG. No message from her but i knew she would have picked up by her husband so she couldn't. By then, i was so disturbed that i had to resort to taking sleeping pills to sleep. There was no way i could sleep on my own and not jumping up awake.

The next working day came and she reported back to work, we greeted each other rather politely and immediately i could feel a sense of awkwardness in the air. The damages had been done, there was already a crack in our relationship and all thanks to me! Now, its my turn that i couldn't face her. After acknowledging the hurt i have caused her, i thank God she still treated me like a friend but i was too ashamed to ask her out or anything alone anymore. Things between us took a drastic change and colleagues around us could sense it. People started to asked if we had gotten into a quarrel or something. To some, we are really good friends so it was weird that we suddenly stopped talking in office. While others could sensed that there was something special between us but chose to remain quiet and not probed.

Days turned to weeks, and weeks to months, we hadn't gone out like we used to for more than 2 months by now. Her birthday just passed and i quietly slipped her bday present into her drawer. Then i bought a cake but had it courier to office. She knew it was from me so she messaged me thanks, she then used the cake to celebrated with her colleagues. Now, i only know about whats going on in her lofe through social media updates. Everytime she posted a photo of herself, i cropped out the portion of the photo with her in it and saved it in my QQ account. Every now and then i would returned to the playground at her old place, took the seat we used to sit at and pretended that she was there with me. Inwould sometime messaged that i missed her but she would never respond. Then photos of her and her husband became more and more. Even though it hurt but i still kept looking at them. I started to really accepted the truth that as long as she is happy, so will i.....

*To be continued.......

real_king

14-05-2014, 10:43 PM

perhaps one day i mite also write my own life story here. but right now, its too emotional for me, Perhaps when i have gotten over it, perhaps.

weewee23

14-05-2014, 11:17 PM

Take care, TS. Your story makes me emo too. maybe you shld pay more attention to your wife. Does she even knows anything?

By the way, is M from changchun??

kenstud27

15-05-2014, 01:14 AM

Take care, TS. Your story makes me emo too. maybe you shld pay more attention to your wife. Does she even knows anything?

By the way, is M from changchun??

She doesn't know and this is one secret im bringing to my grave. And bingo on the location.

Angeldevilinone

15-05-2014, 03:20 AM

Only one word to describe : sadz

PeteTsang69

15-05-2014, 09:37 AM

not just "sadz" ....its TRAGIC ...

but its not a love tragedy ....speaking from experience living thru same issues

its an ECONOMIC TRAGEDY ... why?

if she was able to support herself, very subjective what is enough, she don't need to marry nice-guy-stable-job ...she sees him as purely economic resource

bro TS (me too) if earned enough to support wife (to be ex-wife) for her life and start new with M ... then bro would have just done it ....

i am not money-minded (my problem:rolleyes:) ...it simply must be seen as a means and not an end...

my advice to ALL bros ...pls if you can, make as much money ...do not settle for a "good steady job" ...cos when you need it, you have it ..

look no further than rupert murdoch, married 3 times, enough cash to look after all 3 ... dumped the last gold-digger asap after he learnt she betrayed him ...
BTW, he was so in love, everyone was writing about gold-digger past before marrying her, but rupert, robert :D, still went ahead ....

kenstud27

15-05-2014, 09:50 AM

The distance became even greater than before. Now, its only down to the morning messages. Apart from asking if she need breakfast, we had nothing to talk about. But as time passes, the pain within became more bearable although not lesser. By now, she had moved into her new house. Her husband would come and picked her up from work everyday. At work, she don't stay at her desk as much as before, she either runs to the production line a lot or even when she was at her desk, she was also busy messaging but i wasn't the receiving end like before. I was slowly becoming a another chapter in her life. What a whirlwind we had. From beginning subtly till a full blown relationship and to where we are now, it was barely a year.

Coming to work was starting to become a drag. The work hasn't change for me but it was bcoz i had to come and sit facing her but to her i was simply transparent. Then one day i got a call from an ex-colleague, he had a job opportunity for me in China and asked if i have the time to fly up for a interview. Perfect timing, just when i needed a break, this trip will definitely do some good for me. Although i wasn't sure if i should let her know and i struggled for awhile but eventually i thought why not. Just to see if she had any responses. After i messaged her of my plans, she only replied "ok". Well, it stung and i totally asked for it but i didn't put too much thoughts to it. But just on the day before i fly, she started messaging me on her own without me initiating it.

M: 东西准备好了吗？ (got everything ready?)
Me: 已经好了，谢谢关心 (all done, thanks for asking)
M: 祝你好运，希望一切顺利 (wishing you all the best, hope everything will go well)
Me: 嗯，希望如此 (yup, hope so too)

That was the last message, so stranger so cold. The message made me doubt if we were even in love at all just a few months ago. Seems like its really all over for us. Although i i didn't show it but inside my heart, i was weeping. That oh so familiar sour feel within, it was slowly creeping up. But i forced all the negativity down with one gulp of breath. I promised myself that i would stop doing this to myself. Her happiness was all that matter now and if she is happy with her husband, i will be happy for her.

The next day came and i decided to go to work and leave for the airport directly after that. It was another ordinary day for me, usual morning meetings and con calls to attend. Lunch came and as usual i went for lunch alone, apart from M, i didn't really clicked with anyone else at work. Then the all familiar green light beeped on my phone, i had a funny feeling it's going to be her and it was.

M: 希望你面试成功, 几点的飞机 (all the best for your interview, what time you leaving)
Me: 谢谢你，今晚七点。所以会早走。(thanks, tonight 7pm flight so will leave office early.)
M:也许这次真的是你生命的一个转机，好好努力吧。只要你过的好就好啦。多远我都会替你开心，为你祝福的。找到新女朋友记得告诉我啊，找个脾气好点的，别像我这样的。还有啊，看人要小心点，女孩子会骗人的太多了，别辛辛苦苦去做工作结果让人家骗财骗色。(hope that this is a turning point in your life, all the best! As long as you are doing fine, no matter how far i will be happy for you, giving you all my blessing. And if you find a girlfriend, must tell me, don't find someone like me with a bad temper. And please judge people carefully, there are many girls that swindles. Don't let your hard earn money be conned plus body.)
Me:不知道说什么好。以后的事会怎么样我们不知道，你只要记得现在我对你怎么样就好。如果新加坡这里是让我放不下的，那就是你。这辈子没缘，希望下辈子我会聪明机灵点快点找到你。再让你爱上我。不管以后发生什么事情，谢谢你爱过我。真的，除了这样讲我不知道怎么表达你对我的重要性。(i don't know what to say. We dont know what will happen in the futue, but you only need to remember how i feel about you now. If there is something in SG that i can't let go, that would be you. Our fate in this lifetime may have ended, but i hope in the next i will be smart and fast enough to find you quickly. Make you fall in love with me again. No matter what happened, thank you for loving me. Really, apart from this i dont know how else to express how much you mean to me)
M:虽然教你这些，心里有点酸酸的，可是也是没有办法的事情嘛，迟早会发生的。(Having said all this to you, i still feeling sourish within. But this inevitable, it will happen sooner ot later.)
Me:老实说，一直到今天，我还是希望最后我们有结果。是很傻我知道，但是我已经没办法不爱你了。我会有这个安排，也是希望我们以前说的东西，真的有那一天我能把答应的全部做到。我知道你一定会骂我但是有时候，我还是会去到以前那个公园坐一下，想象你还在我身边。我就是那么傻傻的爱着你宝贝。我不容易爱上别人，爱真的是个很不容易的一个字。但是当我说出时，除非你亲口说不要我，不然这辈子我都会守着这个承诺。(frank ly speaking, i still hope for a future between us. I know this is very silly, but i cannot stop loving you. Why i decided to take this offer, was that i hope i can use this chance to fulfill all the things we used to talked about. I know you probably will scold me but sometime, i would still go the playground and sit there alone, imagining that you are there with me. I still love you like a fool. I don't fall in love easily as love has much responsibility. But when i say i do, unless you tell me in the face that you no longer want me, i will keep this promise for the rest of my life.)

*To be continued.........

PeteTsang69

15-05-2014, 10:01 AM

:eek: :eek: :eek: W T F ! .... i love your story ...how to work ... jia you! :D

kenstud27

15-05-2014, 10:12 AM

Thanks TS for supporting my story. As i am now in China SZ so my updates will be slow due top bad reception and my interview. Stay tunned!

bigbrudder

15-05-2014, 10:29 AM

Hi TS, hope things turn out for the better. Your last words to her are touching.

copper

15-05-2014, 10:59 AM

In time, it is absolutely vital to put the pain behind you and move forward with your life and love. Otherwise, you are giving away your power to the people who hurt you.Sometimes the relationship you need to rescue is the one with yourself. Moving past a breakup is about you, not your her.
Grief is a process to go through, not a destination in which to wallow. In a process, you keep putting one foot in front of the other, and each little step is part of your healing.
有多少东西，你们曾经以为会爱一辈子，一辈子的盟约，总是在你们最想拥有对方的时候许下的，那个时侯，你真的这样想…… 遇上那个人的时候，你以为自己会爱她一辈子。她已经这么好了，她怎么可以离你而去？然而，岁月会让你知道，一辈子的心愿，真的只是个心愿。爱情永远是想象比现实美丽，相逢如是，告别也如是, 兄弟!无论你给我什么借口，你说无法忍受寂寞也好，想寻求真爱也好，其实这都无所谓了，借口只是一个借口，你说了这么多事实是什么呢？事实也无所谓了，人生活在这世界上本身就应该安安稳稳的走完，只有这样才能平静的过完人生，虽然会很孤独，很寂寞，但是任何事，真的只要习惯就好，习惯就好了! 别那么悲观嘛~心灵有家生命才有路!
Excellent writing with near perfect grammar and spelling. Good job!

ch33zy

15-05-2014, 11:01 AM

Bro, u are the man.. hopefully, everything will turn out better for u soon..

otacon

15-05-2014, 12:29 PM

I m in similar situation like TS except that we been together for more than 3 years already. Both of us r married when we knew each other, love just came unexpectedly. Many things happened during last 3 years, good n bad. Now I have separated with my wife cos I simply do not want to hurt her n my daughter anymore but my love 1 is still with her family.

We both married early due n perhaps we both did not experienced much love in life that is y we fell in love so deeply n badly too. During these few years of secret relationship, we actually was caught before, not only once but more than 3 times already, so things with her n her husband is now on the edge. We just came back from our 4 days overseas trip but unfortunately, we were being caught again.

I really love her a lot n same goes for her but she just could not let go of her family, she is too soft hearted, she cannot stand it if her family hate her for abandoning the family n b with me.

I wish to be with her badly but I m prepared to break up with her if she chooses her family cos I cannot bear to see her suffer like that. Because of this r/s, I lost my house, sold my car, lost my daughter n even lost my job twice (if u believe in karma).

Love is really amazing, things I have done with her, I have never did with my wife before. This is not just lust, I can just look at her whole day, hug her whole day n I will be satisfied as long as she is with me. We had the most wonderful overseas together n it felt so real, like she is my wife already.

Actually TS knows there will not b any result being with M, since M already made her point that she is guilty of being with TS, I think it is best to leave it as it is.

PeteTsang69

15-05-2014, 12:54 PM

Actually TS knows there will not b any result being with M, since M already made her point that she is guilty of being with TS, I think it is best to leave it as it is.

bro otacon ... another kindred spirit :D

i beg to differ ... you confirm my "economic tragedy" theory ...

if bro TS can give M enough $ to M husband, then M would not feel guilty at all ... in fact she may even be happy that she can help her (ex) husband have a better life/start :D

same for you ... if you had enough $ to take care of your wife & daughter and your love 1 family ...then i see no problem why you 2 can't together ...

that's the lesson i learn't and now am focusing myself to make enough to settle my own family first ...and enough for the next one ...to be responsible to all parties :) ... its not an option for me not be ...

otacon

15-05-2014, 01:21 PM

bro otacon ... another kindred spirit :D

i beg to differ ... you confirm my "economic tragedy" theory ...

if bro TS can give M enough $ to M husband, then M would not feel guilty at all ... in fact she may even be happy that she can help her (ex) husband have a better life/start :D

same for you ... if you had enough $ to take care of your wife & daughter and your love 1 family ...then i see no problem why you 2 can't together ...

that's the lesson i learn't and now am focusing myself to make enough to settle my own family first ...and enough for the next one ...to be responsible to all parties :) ... its not an option for me not be ...

My love 1 did asked if I can support her n our future family in future even if I m still supporting my first family. I told her this is a joint effort for our new family, not a 1 person effort even if we are single now. She knows I m trying hard to save n earn more now but I cannot promise things will remain unchanged in future.

I just hope she can make a wise decision soon, regardless who she choose

PeteTsang69

15-05-2014, 02:01 PM

My love 1 did asked if I can support her n our future family in future even if I m still supporting my first family ...

I just hope she can make a wise decision soon, regardless who she choose

bro otacon ...with due respect to your love 1 and you ...i mean nothing ill, cos am in same boat ...not enough $ ...

but harsh reality is ...no money no talk ...

this is ang mo version, best i can find ...

http://fyeahmovieclub.tumblr.com/post/21247691462/i-feel-like-men-are-more-romantic-than-women

but asian women/culture look at us "economically" :rolleyes: .... sorry to be crude ...
its ingrained in them they look to the man to take care of them and the kids ...

i don't agree to this view point ... but that's the fact jack ...

your love 1 "wise" decsision may not be based solely on how much she loves you, but who can take care of her best ... the reality for her will sink in ... but i hope i am sooo wrong ...:o

otacon

15-05-2014, 02:26 PM

bro otacon ...with due respect to your love 1 and you ...i mean nothing ill, cos am in same boat ...not enough $ ...

but harsh reality is ...no money no talk ...

this is ang mo version, best i can find ...

http://fyeahmovieclub.tumblr.com/post/21247691462/i-feel-like-men-are-more-romantic-than-women

but asian women/culture look at us "economically" :rolleyes: .... sorry to be crude ...
its ingrained in them they look to the man to take care of them and the kids ...

i don't agree to this view point ... but that's the fact jack ...

your love 1 "wise" decsision may not be based solely on how much she loves you, but who care take care of her best ... the reality for her will sink in ... but i hope i am sooo wrong ...:o

is ok even if she decides not to have a future with me, I m kind of prepared for the worst now. The thing is, it's been dragging for too long, for the good or bad, it had to end soon. It is normal for her to worry abt money cos this is what the govt made us to think n with the stupid women charter, making us guys miserable.

Actually I should have enough to provide for her n our new family in future but maybe not as what she imagine. a roof over the head should not b a problem as long as I stay working but no one can predict the future

copper

15-05-2014, 02:47 PM

我说:男人伪装坚强，只是害怕被女人发现他软弱。女人伪装幸福，只是害怕被男人发现她伤心。有时候，一个建议你离开的人，可能是最爱你的。一个希望你放弃的人，可能是最关心你的。一个渴求不再联系的人，可能是最挂念你的。

otacon

15-05-2014, 03:05 PM

我说:男人伪装坚强，只是害怕被女人发现他软弱。女人伪装幸福，只是害怕被男人发现她伤心。有时候，一个建议你离开的人，可能是最爱你的。一个希望你放弃的人，可能是最关心你的。一个渴求不再联系的人，可能是最挂念你的。

very true. I will miss her a lot if we breaks out. Never met someone like her, our r/s is still so sweet after more than 3 years although I hope we can b together longer but deep down, I know is unfair to his husband

pussywillow

15-05-2014, 03:34 PM

Nice touching story bro! Hope you will find happiness within yourself.

px1t

15-05-2014, 08:25 PM

I believe love is something which one cannot control.
Seeing all your replies reminds me of relationship with my husband last time.
I remember before marriage, he would shower me with so much love through his action as he has a competitor at that time as well. Maybe it's because I'm not completely "his", that's why. The grass is always greener on the other side. What you don't own always seems more beautiful then what you have.

And then we were married. I give birth to a beautiful daughter. Things starts to change when my daughter is 3. He's having an affair outside with his ex classmate. That time, when he choose to give up this family for that woman, my whole world crumpled. Where is the passionate loving guy who used to want and love me so much went to?

All I can say is, even if you manage to get the one you really wanted after being married, most probably everything will happen again like a vicious cycle. Who can guarantee that when you finally get the third party to be by your side, you would have a happily ever after as an ending?

By all means I'm not here to shoot anyone, I'm just voicing out my pov as a wife whose husband had been unfaithful before.

kenstud27

16-05-2014, 06:30 AM

*So sad to hear so much stories and people that can relate to mine. All i can say is that we can plan for the best but in the end we are just pawn in our own destiny. I wished the best for everyone.

kenstud27

16-05-2014, 07:31 AM

She didn't reply to my message after that. But from where i could see, she was crying. And then it all became clear to me. She still love me, but love for us is a luxury item we cannot afford. Being in our current position, we had our responsibilities and obligations. We made the choice we had made, to our families and partners. Love for us has to be felt and cannot be expressed, not in any forms of words or deeds. I felt a shot of bitterness running through my heart. The bitter truth of life for us, no matter how much we wanted to be with one another, neither of us were prepared to hurt those that still cared for us and unknown of the affair. They must never know, if by any chance that should either marriage fail, it should be for any reasons but a affair. Means of reconciliation must be explored and until the last bit of effort had expired, or else it should be the last resort. It should never be bcoz of our own selfish need. Yes, some may ask then what about what we want? As sad as it is, the ultimate truth is that we made the choice to married our partners and the vows that we took had it certain significance. So what if we get our heart desire by getting a divorce and have the relationship that we always wanted? If that was our approach then one possible scenario will be this: we will live with the guilt for the rest of our lives, in the back of my mind will always be that if she could do this to her husband then what's stopping her from doing the same to me? What happen when that happen too....too much variables in life that could happen....too much too many...

It was time for me to leave and i just packed my desk and went off without saying much. Then M messaged me to remind me that i have forgotten my jacket which i had brought along for the interview so immediately i went back to collect it. Automatically when i reached my desk, i would always looked into the way where she is sitting but she wasn't there. Feeling a little disappointed that i cannot see her before i go, i just took my jacket and went down to my ride. Just as i got into the car, she left me another message saying that she was afraid to see me then she will cry so she purposefully left her desk. I guessed as much so i replied by telling her to take care of herself and that i miss her.

I do not know what will happen in the future but this i know, she will be my motivation to work harder than before. I wrote another letter to her but i never send to her. Sometime, certain things are better left unsaid...

To my dearest baby,

Meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me. It made me realized what true love is and what it really meant to love someone unconditionally. But it's a pity that we met each other at the wrong time. There are so many things that i want to tell you but i will not. From today onwards i will love you silently. I may not be the man that ended up with but i will become the man that you want. I will have a picture of you in my mind, probably time will make the missing part lesser but you will always be that special someone in my life. I will never forget the time we spent together, i will never forget the words and promises we made to one another.

I am letting go of you now, i need to move on and make my life worth something while i still can. But you will be there with me wherever i go, living in my mind. Because of you, i lost my sky of adventure. But because of you, i found my ocean. Losing you felt like i lost my entire world. But i will survive, i must. There are so many things i want to do with you, places to go with you, but i will do it in memories of you. I will go and find my own happiness now, i don't know if i will ever find someone like you but that i will leave it to fate. Take care now my love, be happy always. I won't turn back now but i hope you will always remember that there's someone that loved you. And if you ever remember me, i hope it will bring a smile to you by just thinking about it.

I really miss you alot, and i will always love you. Now and forever.

*The End*

heartbroke

16-05-2014, 08:11 AM

Cheers to the TS. I am in a similar situation. Started off romantically... recently .. she started to ask... "what do we expect to get after all this?" I am her first man outside marriage. She is my 11th but the longest.. almost 3 years..
i stopped talking to gers at pubs..
i can travel 20kms just to have lunch with her everyday.

Maybe i am no longer in her priority list.
She no longer feels excited to meet me.
She seen too many couples which divorced. No good outcome..she claims.

heartbroke

16-05-2014, 08:35 AM

情侣交往中最忌讳的15件事

　　第一，底牌亮的太快太早——从开始就恨不得掏心窝子的爱人多半是要被抛弃的。别人是尘封的老酒越喝越有味，你是开听的可乐，到后面气儿都没了。
　　第二，有底线——这句话不是说要没底线，而是你和一个人在一起本来就应该是互相扶持安慰共同享受生活的，对方都把你逼到开始预设底线了。还谈什么呢？

　　第三，人大多是恃宠而骄的，别把对方当孩子养——好端端的伴侣供成了神。

　　第四，没有各自空间——自己不给自己空间自然也给不了对方空间。

　　第五，算计——爱多爱少，付出多付出少，算到这一步也就该算还有多少日子可以走了。...

　　第六，双重标准——TA生气你哄，你生气还得你哄，自求多福，不平等条约签订是因为爱情么？

　　第七，口无遮拦——别拿什么爱你才会跟你发脾气这样的理由妄图诠释自己的自私与sb行为

　　第八，话说太透——摆上台面说的话，规矩是完善了，情分却少了。

　　第九，三观不合——其实人与人三观都是有差异的，真正不合的人决定开始就是错误，最为可气的是甚至某一方完全看不起另一方的观念，表现形式就是不管什么情况，你怎么表现都只会听到TA痛心疾首的说"你不要太幼稚了好咩？"…………

　　第十，秀恩爱，死得快——其实我不反感晒个情侣照的，受不了的是喜欢在众人面前以呼喝对方为荣，以对方听话为恩爱的表现方式，你这么不给人面子你是在作死你造不造？

　　第十一，不信任——其实我想吐槽的不是某个人不信任对方还怎么谈恋爱，诚然过于敏感人士需要自省。但是正常情况下你都不能让你的伴侣信任你，你是得有多糟糕？道理不多讲，好好想想不被信任的原因再去对着TA吼：“你为毛不信任我？”

　　第十二，永远永远永远别认为自己在付出！！！——一旦觉得自己在付出你就注定输了整盘棋，心态不好势必行为也不能正能量到哪里去。

　　第十三，距离——离伴侣的好友保持在你的伴侣觉得你们俩根本不熟的位置就好，即不会有姐妹淘私下聚会时太多关于你的八卦，也不会引起伴侣不适，男女皆适用。

　　第十四，莫相求——求来的不是爱，是神，真想要维护和挽回就去学会吸引对方。

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　　以上一些话说的可能比较重甚至奇葩，但是从特例中看普遍性吧，全都占的其实未必没有，做好自己，无愧于自己，也要学会爱自己。