View Full Version : Life is so meaningless
ice2001
29-01-2015, 04:01 AM
Dear All,
I am facing a dilemma of my life.
I am in love with a woman so much that I am willing to forsake all I have to be with her. But I am a married man.
No one in my life give me such a heartbeat. To me she is the prettiest woman in my life. When I am with her I am extrememly happy and I want to give everything I have with her. I am not sure she loves me because of really me or just for the things I can give her now.
Me and my wife have no more feeling. What I have is only responsibilities toward my children. She is a good mother. I fail as a father and maybe also fail as a husband. I am willing to give my wife everything and start afresh again. But if I divorce I will lose my children. Because the woman I love is jealous of my wife. She keep thinking I still love my wife. But even I divorce my children is still my children. I will need to see my wife then I can see my children. Is a marriage paper so important to a woman?
Now I like to seek all samsters advice:
1) should I because of a word responsibilities and be unhappy because I can't be with the woman I love? OR
2) should I seek my happiness and ignore all responsibilities and let my children hate me forever?
Life is meaningless to me. I can't choose best of both world. I am too naive when this started but I never thought I will ever love a woman more than myself so much.
Please do not flame me. I am just a hopeless and depress guy looking for answer. Now I can't eat, work, sleep well. My life is in a mess.
anonym69
29-01-2015, 04:15 AM
Personally, if the woman you love so much, can understand your worries, she does not deserve your love.
I guess the next question you should ask, if you leave everything to your wife, and start fresh from 0, will the woman you love, still love you?
try to not see that woman for awhile, confirm if it is love or just an infatuation.
then if you think its love, ask yourself can you live with her for an extended period of time when she start to have mood swings, never put makeup, etc...
lastly, you sure the woman you love have no other intentions on you?
just know that under our law, the wife is entitled to 50% of all assets upon divorce.
tldr; you need to know if she really loves you as well or just in it for the things you can give her now.
atmos
29-01-2015, 04:47 AM
you are asking but also answering yourself. Ask yourself ,how you felt when you was tgt with your wife during those iron hot days?? or since 1st day of courtship, its dead aldy?
then you will know.
parrotkid
29-01-2015, 05:43 AM
Firstly, is the woman from China or a foreigner?
If she is, it is better that you stay with your wife.
The fact is that your wife gave you children but maybe this woman had given you sexual pleasure only. You can always seek sexual pleasure from FL or go to Geylang.
sammyboyfor
29-01-2015, 06:33 AM
All this lovey dovey stuff is a load of crap.
Forget about all this love shit and concentrate on achieving financial independence so that you don't have to worry about working till you drop dead.
Once you have lots of money everything else will fall into place.
bigbrudder
29-01-2015, 09:59 AM
Personally, if the woman you love so much, can understand your worries, she does not deserve your love.
I guess the next question you should ask, if you leave everything to your wife, and start fresh from 0, will the woman you love, still love you?
TS, the above is a true test. Someone I know actually did that. Gave up everything including money and property to wife, despite wife not wanting to divorce. Left the country to start a new family elsewhere.
If you can do that, think you answered your own question.
Meow^^
29-01-2015, 10:17 AM
All this lovey dovey stuff is a load of crap.
Forget about all this love shit and concentrate on achieving financial independence so that you don't have to worry about working till you drop dead.
Once you have lots of money everything else will fall into place.
Monies makes the world go round these days. There is no more so call true love like donkey years ago....Worst is, TS doesn't know if that lady love him. Even she does. To what extend? Only time will tell....
1nottiboy
29-01-2015, 10:26 AM
Have been in a similar situation before. Trust me, you are thinking with your dick. The lovey dowey feeling will pass over time. Focus on the important i.e. your children, and your life will continue to have meaning.
ah rat
29-01-2015, 10:34 AM
TS,my advice is to marry her in your next life :)
(o)(o) Tuner
29-01-2015, 11:14 AM
TS,my advice is to marry her in your next life :)
Bro I like your answer.
collin_23
29-01-2015, 11:42 AM
Bro , pretty will grow old . U will grow old also one day , so one day both of u will not be pretty anymore , so when that day comes do u still love her ? Your children needs u . If really u not able to make decision , try go to bugis Waterloo temple ask guan yin . If Christian , go church and ask priest .
Meow^^
29-01-2015, 11:47 AM
Bro , pretty will grow old . U will grow old also one day , so one day both of u will not be pretty anymore , so when that day comes do u still love her ? Your children needs u . If really u not able to make decision , try go to bugis Waterloo temple ask guan yin . If Christian , go church and ask priest .
Is Pastor..... Pastor John is the name...
:D
kurios
29-01-2015, 11:57 AM
How old r u and your children?
kenw09
29-01-2015, 12:00 PM
All this lovey dovey stuff is a load of crap.
Forget about all this love shit and concentrate on achieving financial independence so that you don't have to worry about working till you drop dead.
Once you have lots of money everything else will fall into place.
This is the BEST answer, don't trust any women, love can change, the best is to stay financially independent and don't let any women rip you off or control you,
naan1974
29-01-2015, 12:08 PM
TS, most important question Is the women worth it?
if yes, then I personally advocate you to pursue your dream.
How do you know if she's worth it? that's a million dollar question.
Not being stereotype, but if she's a WL or even just a foreigner
I suggest you think very very hard.
How about you tell her, you have divorced your wife and the condition is
you have given your wife all your savings and property and you are left
with nothing much . And you are all ready to start your life with her and together you will be able to rebuild everything from scratch. Her reactions will be the answer to the million question.
tomyumgong
29-01-2015, 12:13 PM
u nvr heard a saying "the one u love most is nvr your wife".
if not, how come people after married still have lover?
looney83
29-01-2015, 12:30 PM
if the woman that u met keep wanting u to divorce with ur current wife.. there are possibilities that she want do the same to u next time if she happen to bump into another "wanted" guy.
Women will all get old & frail.. character remains the same throughout the life.
if looks is what u look for, then it will never end with this woman. u will bump into another woman who has better look than ur current one.
heartkorr
29-01-2015, 01:11 PM
All this lovey dovey stuff is a load of crap.
Forget about all this love shit and concentrate on achieving financial independence so that you don't have to worry about working till you drop dead.
Once you have lots of money everything else will fall into place.
this is so correct...
you are probably bored of the mundane process that you go through everyday, like no more passion. so this new gal gives u the vibe that you have not felt for in ages...which in the event that you settle down with the new gal, the mundane process will kick in again, just with a different person
Gordonbleu
29-01-2015, 01:15 PM
Bro, simple test. ( not to get angry)
Imagine now that your wife is having another man now? (Say she has slept with him too)
What is your emotions going to be?
What will you do after that?
Put youself in this situation in total silence and lonliness,
After that pen your emotions in SBF.
Your answer will be revealed thereafter..
JChoo
29-01-2015, 01:31 PM
Dear All,
I am facing a dilemma of my life.
I am in love with a woman so much that I am willing to forsake all I have to be with her. But I am a married man.
No one in my life give me such a heartbeat. To me she is the prettiest woman in my life. When I am with her I am extrememly happy and I want to give everything I have with her. I am not sure she loves me because of really me or just for the things I can give her now.
Me and my wife have no more feeling. What I have is only responsibilities toward my children. She is a good mother. I fail as a father and maybe also fail as a husband. I am willing to give my wife everything and start afresh again. But if I divorce I will lose my children. Because the woman I love is jealous of my wife. She keep thinking I still love my wife. But even I divorce my children is still my children. I will need to see my wife then I can see my children. Is a marriage paper so important to a woman?
Now I like to seek all samsters advice:
1) should I because of a word responsibilities and be unhappy because I can't be with the woman I love? OR
2) should I seek my happiness and ignore all responsibilities and let my children hate me forever?
Life is meaningless to me. I can't choose best of both world. I am too naive when this started but I never thought I will ever love a woman more than myself so much.
Please do not flame me. I am just a hopeless and depress guy looking for answer. Now I can't eat, work, sleep well. My life is in a mess.
try polygamy. If both women are ok, it is a happy ending.
sicknasty
29-01-2015, 01:55 PM
Be with someone who love you than someone you think you love.
Not worth it when in the end , you lost everything .
Think hard, don't lugi
paradise80
29-01-2015, 02:42 PM
Bro, look for this Taiwan drama serial "犀利人妻” and see from episode 1 to the end and you will have the answer to your question.. :rolleyes:
Andylin24
29-01-2015, 03:02 PM
Your wife will be the one that stays with you for the rest of your life . Don't forget your marriage vows . Ask yourself when you are sick who is the one that looks after you
Go hear the song 牽手
ken_v2
29-01-2015, 03:51 PM
remember why you married your wife in the first place. and also the children she bored with you.
this new love is just a passing phase.
look at your children when you go home at night. do you want to bring misery to them? suffer a bit for the sake of your children. the most you go FL release when you feel the need.
MoJoe313
29-01-2015, 05:55 PM
this new love is just a passing phase.
look at your children when you go home at night. do you want to bring misery to them? suffer a bit for the sake of your children. the most you go FL release when you feel the need.
Well said. I look at my children all the time whenever I am about to do something stupid. They are innocent. I am their only family. I cannot bring myself to do them any harm. They shouldn't lose their one chance to live and love, so that you can have two shots at love. Think hard bro.
Squpid
29-01-2015, 06:38 PM
Well said. I look at my children all the time whenever I am about to do something stupid. They are innocent. I am their only family. I cannot bring myself to do them any harm. They shouldn't lose their one chance to live and love, so that you can have two shots at love. Think hard bro.
Bro, whatever u r considering to do, try not to drag ur kids through mud/shit.
Bro MoJoe313 > Well said
Notary
29-01-2015, 07:06 PM
Dear All,
I am facing a dilemma of my life.
I am in love with a woman so much that I am willing to forsake all I have to be with her. But I am a married man.
No one in my life give me such a heartbeat. To me she is the prettiest woman in my life. When I am with her I am extrememly happy and I want to give everything I have with her. I am not sure she loves me because of really me or just for the things I can give her now.
Me and my wife have no more feeling. What I have is only responsibilities toward my children. She is a good mother. I fail as a father and maybe also fail as a husband. I am willing to give my wife everything and start afresh again. But if I divorce I will lose my children. Because the woman I love is jealous of my wife. She keep thinking I still love my wife. But even I divorce my children is still my children. I will need to see my wife then I can see my children. Is a marriage paper so important to a woman?
Now I like to seek all samsters advice:
1) should I because of a word responsibilities and be unhappy because I can't be with the woman I love? OR
2) should I seek my happiness and ignore all responsibilities and let my children hate me forever?
Life is meaningless to me. I can't choose best of both world. I am too naive when this started but I never thought I will ever love a woman more than myself so much.
Please do not flame me. I am just a hopeless and depress guy looking for answer. Now I can't eat, work, sleep well. My life is in a mess.
Bro Ice,
I'm sorry to hear that you are in this confused situation. I hope to help you iron out a few things. First of all, you need to be very clear with these 2 definitions: (A) Infatuation & (B) Love
Infatuation is an intense feeling of excitement of being with your partner. Some people call this the "honeymoon period". When you are so infatuated with the other party, you could hardly finish your food or when you think of her, you get butterflies in your stomach. Infatuation is purely an emotion and a feeling, it dies after sometime. No one I know on this Earth is infatuated with one another since the beginning till the end.
Love is a beautiful thing. It consist of different elements pieced together to form its definition. Love is being patient, kind, long-suffering, positive, caring, free from envy, free from evil and etc from your other half. Notice that all these elements are very hard to fulfill especially when you know the bad habits of your partner already. This is why love is beautiful because it takes one to sacrifice himself to accept the flaws of his other half. Love is not just a feeling, it is a firm decision of wanting to build a life together.
According to your own words, you are unsure if the 3rd party is there for you or for your material possessions. With this unknown element, are you ready to forsake your wife (the good mother of your children)?
Your new woman might be pretty, she might say beautiful things to you all the time, she could have pressed your buttons correctly and she gives you the sex that your wife had stopped providing you with. Is that what you are looking for? I don't mean to sound harsh here but the truth to the matter is, that lady i've described sounds exactly like what a whore could also provide.
A clean divorce could only be achieved if both parties agree to it - you talk monetary and children custody terms and then come to a conclusion together. Have you tried exploring the avenue of reconciling your marriage? Have you sat down and spoke to your wife about how you feel, what you want and where you might want to take this marriage to in the future?
Don't get me wrong, I am not asking you to be a holy angel, we men have needs, you just need to be living consciously and know what you are doing. If that new women in your life is just a cushion to your current problems, then enjoy her healing essence (the sweet nothings, the sex and etc) and remember to go home - the place where your wife and your children are waiting for you at.
Nevertheless, whatever decision you have made for yourself, just don't look back and regret. We take responsibility for every single move we make and I am sure no matter what your choice is, the bros in this forum will give you their greatest blessings and emotional support.
Good luck Bro.
With pleasure,
Notary
retsmas
29-01-2015, 07:08 PM
Bro,
Had been thru dame situation. I used my big head to think so I go with my wife n kid. In financial sense, it was a right decision. Cannot say if that was a right decision. Many of my frens, men or women, chose the other path. Y not u try talking to ur wife to see if things can still workout or not before deciding divorce.
anikisan
29-01-2015, 11:27 PM
i fully agree, bro. u are thinking with ur dick. alright, i dont want to sound judgemental, but when we cheat outside, it's just fuck and go. at the end of the day, we all want to return to a place we home, and it takes effort to make it right - even when we dont feel like it. like they say, love is an action, a deliberate, conscious choice, not an emotion.
ask urself, what if one day, years later, u are in the same shit hole with ur new girl? what is wrong?
so, my advice is, go home. and do your very best to love your wife all again. date her. buy her flowers. dress up. listen to her. compliment her. you'll be surprised.
Have been in a similar situation before. Trust me, you are thinking with your dick. The lovey dowey feeling will pass over time. Focus on the important i.e. your children, and your life will continue to have meaning.
kinkyguy22
30-01-2015, 12:21 AM
Guys nowadays are pussy man.
Wanna give up for this gal. Disown their own mother for their gf or wife.
WTF! Remember 'no woman no cry' song?
It is our rights to respect our parent, wife and children.
Fling or having mistress must never change anything at all. Why? I am speaking about myself as well.
I told my fling that I will never divorce my wife and she understand the rules.
But aftera while, it is the same old sex again. Trust me.... I am still with the fling after 5 years.
FB or fling or whatever, fuck many woman had always been man dreams. Dun let pussy dictate your life!
Dumb aRSe!
4getful
30-01-2015, 01:25 AM
Dear All,
I am facing a dilemma of my life.
I am in love with a woman so much that I am willing to forsake all I have to be with her. But I am a married man.
No one in my life give me such a heartbeat. To me she is the prettiest woman in my life. When I am with her I am extrememly happy and I want to give everything I have with her. I am not sure she loves me because of really me or just for the things I can give her now.
Me and my wife have no more feeling. What I have is only responsibilities toward my children. She is a good mother. I fail as a father and maybe also fail as a husband. I am willing to give my wife everything and start afresh again. But if I divorce I will lose my children. Because the woman I love is jealous of my wife. She keep thinking I still love my wife. But even I divorce my children is still my children. I will need to see my wife then I can see my children. Is a marriage paper so important to a woman?
Now I like to seek all samsters advice:
1) should I because of a word responsibilities and be unhappy because I can't be with the woman I love? OR
2) should I seek my happiness and ignore all responsibilities and let my children hate me forever?
Life is meaningless to me. I can't choose best of both world. I am too naive when this started but I never thought I will ever love a woman more than myself so much.
Please do not flame me. I am just a hopeless and depress guy looking for answer. Now I can't eat, work, sleep well. My life is in a mess.
A strong n lasting marriage mostly greatly depends on women. If a woman react like a piece of mirror ie u happy n she smile or if you silence she ignore you. It is just a matter of matter the husband feel tired n call off the marriage. So you might suffer the same fate when you have lost your enthusiatic or tired of the routine life n found your new found woman also a mirror. Modern women r more self centered. They are more willingly to divorce n regrettedly gone into suffer in silent because of women charter. As compare to the olden days, It has since seeing many families break up when more educated women realise the usefulness of the charter. So think thrice before the wife found out the affair.
hunter12
31-01-2015, 06:45 PM
my thought only....
many years back... u married ur current wife because u think she is ur true love, fuck her many times, quarrel many times, got children... suddenly one fine day u wake up n feel she is not the so call 'true love' anymore... Y? cause she cant make u feel happy anymore, she cant make u comfy anymore....
u now divorce ur wife, marry this new 'true love', because u think she now is ur 'true love', many years later, fuck her many times, quarrel many times n suddenly one fine day u wake up again n feel that this new 'true love' is no longer 'true love' again... same process...
haiz... what is wrong with us guy!!!
i told my wife, if.. if one fine day we for whatever reason get divorce... i will never never never never get marry again!!!! > other i dont dare to say, this one i confirm, guarentee plus stamp.. hahaha.....! but i admire those bros really get happiness in their 2nd love, maybe it is just me, i no longer have the courage or believed in true love.....
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