Sexless Relationship

[Dickster]

Good day to all bros,
Having encounter a problem with my gf lately , so i am just wondering a few simple ques.

1) does a sexless relationship works?

2) If a gf /wife does not allow her husband or bf to touch her, it is a guys fault to stray or have flings outside? ps : husband /bf have being faithfull all the way.


no flaming pls. sorry if i offended any bros of sisters with my comments


nice day
regards

[happybonker]

Mine is the other way round.

My gal is always complaining that I never touch her enough !!

Any bros here share the same experience ?

[johnnyistoogood]

Mine is the other way round.

My gal is always complaining that I never touch her enough !!

Any bros here share the same experience ?

Yeah man, my gal is damn faithful to me one, and most of the time initiated intimacy and complained not enough. :p

Sexless relationship is only possible if you two are purely friends. Gf can don't allow bf to touch her as they are not yet committed, but wife actually has the duty to make her husband happy provided her husband not those perverted one la..

[bustymilk]

It is not a good and valid reason for a guy to stray or have flings outside if their partner don't allow them to touch and have sex with. If you really cherish this relationship, you should have a nice talk with her finding out what is the reasons for her not doing so and explaining to her that you do have your sexual needs. As a woman, I strongly believe one of the reasons why they don't want their partner to touch and allow sex is because they are been shut down emotionally. In order to aroused them to get to the mood, you have to arouse her heart on emotional first and then on her body physically.

[Dickster]

Bustymilk,
I understand wat u trying to say and i am thankful that u hit almost wat i am trying to get . Yes i make some serious mistakes but nothing of unfaithful types. So even if she is rightful to quarrel with me or punish me but i as a male have my own urges till some times i see some gals zhao geng , i also got aroused. Some may say try pccing, i need 3 to 4 times to get myself physically tired but sexual unsatisfied. How? Bring out the problem her does not helps? I dun think i cannot control my urge any more b4 i do any stuff unfaithful.

[RaymndTan]

It is not a good and valid reason for a guy to stray or have flings outside if their partner don't allow them to touch and have sex with. If you really cherish this relationship, you should have a nice talk with her finding out what is the reasons for her not doing so and explaining to her that you do have your sexual needs. As a woman, I strongly believe one of the reasons why they don't want their partner to touch and allow sex is because they are been shut down emotionally. In order to aroused them to get to the mood, you have to arouse her heart on emotional first and then on her body physically.
In this type of situation, if the communications not reinstated and barriers broken down, the man will go whoring. Or the woman will find her own fulfilment in terms of emotionaland sexual needs.

[big dick]

1) does a sexless relationship works? Yes.. it work.. my wife and me also have a sexless relationship.. i am with her jus for the company.. there is more to a relationship than jus sex

2) If a gf /wife does not allow her husband or bf to touch her, it is a guys fault to stray or have flings outside? ps : husband /bf have being faithfull all the way. no .. it not a guy fault to stray outside if the wife refuses to let him touch her.. anyway even if the wife is good in bed, guy will still stray outside ma


At the end of the day, jus enjoy your wife company and eat outside once in a while..

[asdfghjkl]

relationship means GF/BF or marriage one? :rolleyes:

[sphritzer]

1) does a sexless relationship works?


bro Is it really that possible? i mean relationship is mutual & one thing will lead to another & so on so forth. Humans have sexual desires so i'm actually amazed with big dick's positive answer.

[Dickster]

Well currently my status is bf/gf relationship, but i am sure that are some bros who are in hus/wife status who also having the same issue. To bro big dick ans, are u currently having flings outside or others release ? if so i guess ur frastration does not build up. then again i apologise if i am wrong.

[cyberelle]

well, if it is bf/gf. I think she may be just keeping it for marriage. THere is nothing wrong with that. SOme people just do not want to do it before marriage.

In this case, if you have fling outside, it is your fault. Being aroused isn't your fault though. Hard to control desires. HOwever, to have sex with another girl while you have a gf is wrong and unfaithful. Unless she allows it.

I think PCC is the only way to go. Or try to get her to do petting. However, she may still not want. If you want the relationship, than don't.

[goodielecks]

Will a relationship with sex work out? Think again. Your gf might just be saving it for your marriage. It's a rarity these days. Look on the bright side

[Dickster]

hmm we have sex for more than 6 yrs already.... lolz

[goodielecks]

and still bf and gf relationship? maybe she's waiting for you to marry her.

[big dick]

and still bf and gf relationship? maybe she's waiting for you to marry her.


so the solution is to propose to her???

could be that that is what she wanted... possible:D

[big dick]

bro Is it really that possible? i mean relationship is mutual & one thing will lead to another & so on so forth. Humans have sexual desires so i'm actually amazed with big dick's positive answer.

being in a relationship does not mean u need to have sex... being in a relationship is more of having someone to tallk to.. to have someone to laugh and share your problem.. as for sex, well there is always other options here that is available here in this forum... :)

[big dick]

Well currently my status is bf/gf relationship, but i am sure that are some bros who are in hus/wife status who also having the same issue. To bro big dick ans, are u currently having flings outside or others release ? if so i guess ur frastration does not build up. then again i apologise if i am wrong.


yup.. me do have flings outside so i guess my frustation level not as high as u la.. bro.. and u dun need to apologise to me since we are both bros of LOME

ps.. see u at the tcss now:D

[RonRon]

Since we are on the topic of Relationships and sex.. how often do the bros/sisters get involved with their partners.

I'm in one myself and i think on avg i get it once in 2-3 weeks. End of the day, i think its really not enough to satisfy my urges.

Comments?

[49ers]

depends on yr gf's mentality too, i have a live in gf for 5 years but topic of marriage was never seriously discussed. I can tell shes not in a hurry to settle down, being a career minded woman. Not that i'm complaining... :D

[Dickster]

well i am rather confused and frastrated now? any bros or sister can give me a solution ?

[jimmy1]

Well the solution to the problem can only come when we know the root of the problem.

What is the reason for the cessation of intimacy? What was it that you did ( i know you weren't unfaithful) but still unless we know, its hard to give you an answer.

If you choose to have a fling outside to satisfy your urges, you are putting your relationship at risk. If you were not unfaithful, but committed some other offence- and end up being punished by not being allowed to touch her,
imagine what the punishment will be if or when she finds out you have been unfaithful?

good luck,
Jimmy.

[madix]

I guess every relationship has its differences, as for some, its purely companionship and some, family to take care of. Not all relationships are purely for physical intimacy.

But if you thrive on needing a healthy sex life with just one partner, your partner cannot deprive you of that very need. Guys are v different with gals in that aspect. If they are angry they will refuse sex. If guys are angry, we will prob make up after our love making session.

Work on the differences that led to your sex deprived state. If it works out best, since you two have already been together for so long. DO NOT bank on marriage to bring you more sex. Usually the opposite will happen.

[curiosityz]

It is really hard not to have sex during the course of relationship. I am not spared either :)

[Acerpac]

Good day to all bros,
Having encounter a problem with my gf lately , so i am just wondering a few simple ques.

1) does a sexless relationship works?

2) If a gf /wife does not allow her husband or bf to touch her, it is a guys fault to stray or have flings outside? ps : husband /bf have being faithfull all the way.


no flaming pls. sorry if i offended any bros of sisters with my comments


nice day
regards

Confirm cannot last! Human got needs and wants mah. Sex is not everything in a relationship, but it's a important part in a relationship.

[Dickster]

hmmmm i already say about my mistake is that i bu qiu shang jin , cos i really take my time to finished my part tmie degree and til now is yet to completed. but wat she knows about the carreer path i want? i holds a dip, mcse ,ccna and ceh. i have completed 2 modules out of 4 for my ccnp , thus i am taking my degree slowly . my parents and her does not understand evcen i talk to them nicely Now my partents exerting pressure on her over me , thus i think she is very upset about it and quarrel with me which get really heated up.

[Castrol]

hmmmm i already say about my mistake is that i bu qiu shang jin , cos i really take my time to finished my part tmie degree and til now is yet to completed.

bro, sorry to say this, its time to get a new gf who wont say you "bu qiu shang qin", but will say you are very academically driven instead. :D

[newyorker88]

. my parents and her does not understand evcen i talk to them nicely Now my partents exerting pressure on her over me , thus i think she is very upset about it and quarrel with me which get really heated up.


I guess you need to have a nice talk with your parents over this. Your parents exsertting force on her to marry? Tell your parents about the cost of living and you all need time to plan too.

Afterall, marriage need planning also, and commitment. They have to understand the point that you need time. They in a rush to have grand children? Cant blame them also. But you got to let them understand your point, and cannot rush.

Sillypore is not a cheap place to have kids. And life is hatic also.

[angie II]

fellas i'm sure u all muz have heard of dis.. sexless relationship may result in 'siao cheong nau' (semen gushing thru ur brain) :rolleyes:

[steamer]

sometimes gf/wife dun let u touch her, is coz they hv someone else doing tat oredi. women are very emotional creatures n generally more monogamous than guys.
bro dickster, i do hope this is not ur case; but if it is, than u hv to move on.
all the best.

[*FiReWoRkS*]

hey bro dickster..i think you rely need to sit dwn n talk tings thru wif yr parents n gf liao..its either u give in to them to wad they want(marriage) or they give in to you which is to understand yr reason for taking yr time to finish yr degree n the need to be ready in all aspects b4 getting married..

if u do not talk things thru wif them n reach a compromise,im afraid tings will only get worse..yr gf might be more fustrated n uall might end up quarrelling more often which in e end break up..worse ting is all tis ting might affect u in yr studies or work..

of cos it will b gd if they can understand u in e end but if they dont..mayb to end all tis u might rely want to consider marriage soon cos if no compromise is reached..tis will only b a vicious cycle tt never ends...

take care bro..
wish you all e best..:)

[thomas88]

Hey guys, let me tell you....a sexless relationship if it's between a husband and wife is a very unhealthy one but it's definitely ok if it's bf and gf. Both party can be blamed for the ones to stray as the 2 of you should look into the real problem behind this sexless relationship and work it out.

I've came out of this sexless relationship with my wife for a little more than one and a half year. It's a long story but we managed to work it out and now we're back to a normal healthy sex life. But believe me.......Throughout the sexless period, I've never for once had any sex be it a FL, pros or any. I just kept myself occupied with fish keeping. ;)

[Dickster]

Thank who to all bros and sisters here who have given me valuable advices regardless if they are stinging or pleasant to the ears . I guess this has being an avoidable problem . Lol why guys reach the peak of their lust eariler that female? if both can reach teh same time then good liao.. lolz. i apreciate ur comments, i wil try to up ur point as soon as 24 hr mark is over. so gusy pls. give me some time.


Thanks
Regards
To bonk or not to?

[Dickster]

wao Thomas88 are u born in teh year 88?
If so , u are my idol lolz.!!!!!

:p Just joking..

[thomas88]

wao Thomas88 are u born in teh year 88?
If so , u are my idol lolz.!!!!!

:p Just joking..
Hahaha.......no lah, 88 is "farth farth" meh. I'm already a 42y old man very soon got to use a walking stick. :D

[angie II]

plz.. brudderr.. b4 u fart say excuse me 1st! :mad:

[medicheng]

I got a gf of quite long liao... but only sex in the start of the relationship... now... bo liao.... got hug can laugh liao... sian

[Dickster]

hmmm bro medicheng , sex at the beginning ? now nothing can be done ah ? why is this so ? did u anger her in any way ot nor?




UP FiReWoRkS bro liao , giev me another 24 hr while i slowly up one by one.

Thanks
regards
To bonk or not to bonk

[SassySammy]

Bro Dickster, i think u seem quite gian to eat outside. Pardon me, but r u tryin to seek a sort of approval from bros n sis here ie give yrself an excuse/reason tt u can go outside to eat, now tt yr gf doesnt wan to sextisfy u? This way, u can tell yrself, it's only normal tt u eat outside, so tt yr guilt will lessen? :confused:

it's yr more than 6 yrs relationship at stake. only u can judge/predict what will happen if she finds out. but personally (if it does matter lol), still hope u two can work things out heheh if suay suay a 'not bad guy' comes along at the same time that she finds out abt the infidelity, then sure jialat jialat.

[Alami]

Bro Dickster, some times when gf/wf is stressed either by work or the relationship, there will be no sex. There was a time when my bussiness was short of money; my wf was very stressed out and there was no sex for more than 6 months!

Since you already know your problem, its just a matter of getting your gf/parents to be agreeable. Good luck!

[sinbad01]

Qn for bro dickster: you got ur own place now? Room with attached bathroom to stay?

I also in ur situation actually. I figured that in the earlier yrs, perhaps they dun mind having sex all the time and at the weird places. But most of the ladies after a while esp when they grow up may not appreciate not having a proper place to rest and have sex. Me for example still have to share room with my brother, so i dun blame her for not wanting to have sex. Bring her out say go hotel also she not comfy. So lan lan now waiting for house to come bah :) Hope tt might help some of the bros who are having such probs too.

[rickytay]

Hey bro dickster i think the first question you should ask is, whether she is the right one for you and if she is the one you wanna be with. If not then maybe it's time to leave her.

If she is the one, then you should sort out things with her.

Keep in mind you live for yourself not for anyone.

[XX26]

Confirm cannot last! Human got needs and wants mah. Sex is not everything in a relationship, but it's a important part in a relationship.

I agree w above. no sex = no happy. why do you want to commit yourself in a no happy r/s?

Its human nature that if you cannot get what you want here, you get it elsewhere. agree?

cheers

[Dickster]

well , never a thought that i would want to have a fling or eat outside. to me there are only two routes .. one is to end it , the other to resolve the sexless issue.and yup my room was those with attached birthroom and it is air conditioned , should not be an issue of comfy place or not. I am sorry to know that i was thought to be seeking approval from here to onz outside, buut i am just asking for a penny for our bros' and siss' thoughts so as to make a better decision on my next choice. Sorry if i offended anyone.
Good day



Thanks
Regards.
To bonk or not to bonk

[SassySammy]

no la u didnt offend anyone :D maybe she wans a massage b4 sex? like adam sandler's wife in the movie 'Click' lol.. damn good show. i think having yr own room with an attached bathroom helps alot.. i sleep with my mum lo.. zero privacy..:(

Regards too.
Dont bonk. Bonk yr gf oni.

[*FiReWoRkS*]

.. i sleep with my mum lo.. zero privacy..:(


you still sleeping with your mom???how come??:confused:

are you still very young or??

[medicheng]

hmmm bro medicheng , sex at the beginning ? now nothing can be done ah ? why is this so ? did u anger her in any way ot nor?




UP FiReWoRkS bro liao , giev me another 24 hr while i slowly up one by one.

Thanks
regards
To bonk or not to bonk
well she still let me hug etc lah... but haiz... bo sex...

[basara_evil]

1st of all, i cant imagine why will some gals wan to save sex after marriage?

so many ppl just look at the expectation, and totally forget abt the sexpectation, i mean... sex is one of the main reason tat keeps a good marriage. can u imagine if the wife only give e husband once per mth, how long u think the marriage can last?

imagine, if u never try sex before a marriage, then after marriage, u found that ur partner is actually not sexually compitable with u... then how?
don forget, this is someone u have to live the rest of ur live with.
can u stand tat?

i am not being a pervert or sex crazy guy here, i just feel tat this is not correct. the old fashion minded of keeping sex till marriage...
sex is part n parcel of a r/s, sooner or later u have to face it.
i am not ashame to say i will like to have a healthy sex life.

for the record, me and my ex was together for 5yrs, yet she never give it to me coz she is one of the "wait till marriage" type. eventually she dump me after 5 yrs. think abt it, if i was willing to stay with her for 5 yrs even tot she never give me sex, it shld be enough to prove that i was not after her body, right? but does that stop her from dumping me? if all i wanted was sex, i would had dump her within a mth n look for a gf tat is willing to do.

my point is, a sexless or sexual r/s does not have a bearing on a r/s.
if she wanna dump u, whether u were sincere (example - me. no sex yet was willing to stay with her for 5 yrs) or u were sex crazy, she will leave u.

just my 5 cents worth, everybody have diff thinking on sex n r/s.
hope fellow bro won zap me for it

[medicheng]

maybe sexless between gf and bf is still ok as long as both fine with it... but then hor my case... sex in the start then now long term liao bo sex... so sian.... haiz....

[boobers]

I used to be depress n angry over the sex issue but my wife treats me very well. So one days I just told myself mentally that she is not desirable and now no prob coz I don even think of having sex (with her laa). When the lust come, I go look for commercial cow to milk. Me now a sextified man with a happy family.

[alkoh316]

well I agree on the cow part. However sometimes there are other type of milk also. Chocolate lar.. strawberry... banana milk...



I used to be depress n angry over the sex issue but my wife treats me very well. So one days I just told myself mentally that she is not desirable and now no prob coz I don even think of having sex (with her laa). When the lust come, I go look for commercial cow to milk. Me now a sextified man with a happy family.

[nitin]

hi juz like to gif my humble view...

i dun like parents gttin involve in the r/s...i personally hv experience a r/s where the parents disapprove this disapprove tt...smtime it can coz addition stress to the couple...where cant they juz let the couple start a new family...for the thread starter although i dun like parents to distrub bt i believe all parent wan their children to b the best tts y they wan u to finish ur studies asap....since they cant gt thru to u tts y they go by the indirect way...so i think u wuldnt wan to let them down...

for a sexless r/s...i hv been thru b4...i reali respect the gal's decision...durin my sec sch mayb i hvnt know SBF so duno much abt sex so dun hv the urge...haha...bt as i gt older and wz the spendin power, i do go look for commercial sex once inawhile to release the tension....i m still wz the gal who say she wan to save sex till marriage...smtime i may gt jealous at other ppl gf can hv sex bt why my 1 cannot...smtime its the choice u hv...wat was the 1st reason tt u 2 gt together? becoz of sex? or bcoz of a common interest? or juz simply u luv her? i oways think tt its nt rite to force or pressure the gal to hv sex....if even she did gif in to u...wuld it b enjoyable?....smtime i do feel guilty gng for paid sex...bt we are nt all saints...haiz....

how u make the rite choice and juz voicing my views....thanx

[cactus88]

as for my case, i have many girls contacts goin out etc sometimes, but its sex-less relationship bahh, sometime got kiss and touch touchh, but didnt have sex, maybe dont have chance lol =/ wait i have chance then i happy le,haha

[soggypanties]

Hey guys, let me tell you....a sexless relationship if it's between a husband and wife is a very unhealthy one but it's definitely ok if it's bf and gf. Both party can be blamed for the ones to stray as the 2 of you should look into the real problem behind this sexless relationship and work it out.

I've came out of this sexless relationship with my wife for a little more than one and a half year. It's a long story but we managed to work it out and now we're back to a normal healthy sex life. But believe me.......Throughout the sexless period, I've never for once had any sex be it a FL, pros or any. I just kept myself occupied with fish keeping. ;)


Actually I'm in a similar situation except I'm not out of it yet. My CO gave birth 4 mth ago and since she found out she was pregnant I stopped having sex with her. In this case, I was the one who didn't want it. Shes been asking for it all the time but I just don't have the mood for it initially bcos I didn't want to jeapordise the pregnancy, then I witnessed the birth of my child. (you fathers out there should know what I mean) So I find myself unable to desire her the same way as before even though shes quite gorgeous. I find myself responding alot better to porn and shut-eye fantasies. :(

[owen10]

hmmm .. interesting topic. dun worry i wont flame u. in fact i had wanted to discuss this long ago but didnt knw where to start, wat to write. (angmo bo ho mah!)

i had this close fren who is married to a christian gal for 3 yrs. he is a free thinker. his wife is those very holy type, every wk goto church twice, n read d bible w/o fail everyday. he had never kissed or had sex with her during their courtship as she felt it was 'not right' to do so b4 marriage. even after they got married they seldom had sex as she was not very comfortable with it. he mentioned it was like, maybe once or twice a mth.

he loved her very much but felt that as a man, he has his needs too. he had talked to her abt tis a few times since after marriage but she wasnt very receptive to it. she told him that 1 cannot thk of sex all d time in a r'ship. til now they still have got no kids cos d wife is oso very career minded n do not wish to start a family til 5 yrs later.

pl do not b mistaken. tis thread is not agt any religion. my fren is in a dilemma too. definitely he wont divorce her lah, but long term wise deprived of sex how man??? my fren is oso those guai guai faithful type, so he wont visit prostitutes. he's thkg of goin for counselling with wifey too but dunno how receptive she is. at d moment he's juz praying hard hopefully d wifey will b more receptive to sex when they r nearer to d child planning stage.

any bros (or frens) got such encounters n how to u resolve it???

[thomas88]

I stopped having sex with her..I was the one who didn't want it...I just don't have the mood for it initially bcos I didn't want to jeapordise the pregnancy..witnessed the birth of my child...I find myself unable to desire her the same way as before
bro sogg, 2 things I'd like to clarify.

1) Women's face glow rosey when pregnant which makes them prettier and thus the sex appeal. Sex throughout the pregnancy is safe to the baby unless you still fu*k outside. You can even have sex til the day the baby's head has turned down very low(born soon) which makes sex uncomfortable for your wife.

2) I know witnessing child birth has caused some men to become impotence after being traumatised by the sudden fright of seeing what the cb went through. For this, you'll have to get professional help then. I've personally witness the whole process and also the stitching part, but it never affect me abit. I'm not afraid of seeing even body being cut up though. The gynae should have adviced against seeing during child birth as they knows it has traumatised many men before. :rolleyes:

[SassySammy]

ya lo.. poor cb.. :( my dad fainted when he witnessed the birth of my bro lol.. he's a tough guy mind u.. then he didnt dare to go in when it was my turn to pop out.. :D

[cummie]

hmmm .. interesting topic. dun worry i wont flame u. in fact i had wanted to discuss this long ago but didnt knw where to start, wat to write. (angmo bo ho mah!)

i had this close fren who is married to a christian gal for 3 yrs. he is a free thinker. his wife is those very holy type, every wk goto church twice, n read d bible w/o fail everyday. he had never kissed or had sex with her during their courtship as she felt it was 'not right' to do so b4 marriage. even after they got married they seldom had sex as she was not very comfortable with it. he mentioned it was like, maybe once or twice a mth.

he loved her very much but felt that as a man, he has his needs too. he had talked to her abt tis a few times since after marriage but she wasnt very receptive to it. she told him that 1 cannot thk of sex all d time in a r'ship. til now they still have got no kids cos d wife is oso very career minded n do not wish to start a family til 5 yrs later.


hey bro if u ask me.. my humble opinion will be to get ur fren and his wifey to go for counselling ASAP! If she is not receptive initially, he must be patient to explain to her why there is a need to do so and the repurcussions of brushing it off. Simply that there is a chance leading to a dysfuntional family. What if 1 fine day he cant control his urge and go 'eat' outside? Being such a staunch christian, won't the wife be more devastated than anything else?

And could it be a case of the guy telling the wife that he wants sex but yet not properly communicating with her his sexual needs and expectations? I do believe that communications is vital in such cases. Not to say the wife definitely have to agree to his every needs but a compromise can be reached. Take it slow at first till both parties are comforatble then stepped up the frequency loz.

Or probably as mentioned b4. the guy needs to do some romancing of his wife??

I mean don't put it in such a threatening way laz. But i hope i got the point across. :)

[cummie]

heyz guys sry.. forgot to mention something.. i once read somewhere a comment on sex.. here goes...

"In a r/s Sex for a guy is the end of intimacy.. but it's the beginning for a gal"

haha.. what do u all think on this? comments?

[lazyfellow]

hi bros ...
my humble opinon. My wife is a christian so we also didnt have sex when we were dating. At most just bj ... and thats very rare also. This of cos put some stress on the relationship initially but gradually we got used to it.

But the interesting thing is after awhile u kinda dun see her as a sex object. This is the bad part. Guess after suppressing it for a long while (we dated for a couple of years b4 marriage) ... when u can do it legally (married) ... u dun feel like doing it. Like u no longer have a sex drive for her. sad.

Just my 5cents worth for you guess to think about.