Husband loves surfing porn

[ingzi]

I know its common man do surf porn but i get upset knowing my that my man do that. Its really makes my confidence go all low knowing he always surfs porn..😭😭

Now makes me think if he eats out too.

Whenever we have an arguement, things turn ugly and he doesnt seem to care how i feel or where i have gone..or if anything will happen to me..

10 years of marriage really makes me feel so heartache. Its likei have wasted 10 yrs of my life.

He is not a romantic or sensitive guy. I need a guy who cares and loves me thru action not thru nags. We talked abt these thruout the 10 yrs but as the yrs go, i feel more n more empty and frustrated. Many a times i really cannot stand his nags. He can be unreasonable and bad temper but i cant. When i do, he hurls really nasty words on me.

In case you think we are not doing enough bedroom activities, i would think not. Sometimes i would initiate but he says he is too tired.

I really feel very sad when i know he surfed porn and searched for escort contacts (he said he was curious only) and have tot of divorce b4 but i guess i still love him hence im still stuck in this circle.

I really dunno how to trust him fully. N how to think open not to be bogged down by his porn surfing activity.😭😭

[Tazbatim78]

Hi Sis,
Ever try joining him to watch? Find out what he like?

Maybe that help..

[Tazbatim78]

Hi sis,
Ever try joining him to watch n surf?
To find out what he like...
Maybe that will help..

[conquer]

All men surf porn and once in a while go call chicken, regardless how attractive or unattractive you are. :)

All you can do is to treat him nicer, don't always kaobeh him, cook him delicious food, tell him interesting stories, complement him... he will surf porn lesser and go call chicken lesser.

[Fat Fatt]

All men surf porn and once in a while go call chicken, regardless how attractive or unattractive you are. :)

All you can do is to treat him nicer, don't always kaobeh him, cook him delicious food, tell him interesting stories, complement him... he will surf porn lesser and go call chicken lesser.

It’s a modern world
You can always have your friends interest hobbies and even flings , paid or unpaid
You have your right to big Os too
He will notice and maybe pay more attention instead

[thaixrice]

Maybe can consider going counselling together. I think this might help?

[FUNNYANDHORNY]

which porn site he surf?....:confused: :eek:

[bloggert]

Quite apart from your husband's activities, I think the first thing is to work on your own self-esteem and happiness. I've seen many cases where women look to their husbands as the key to their happiness - ie. if the husbands do this, they're happy, if the husband does not do that, they become sad. Anchoring your happiness on another person is a sure route to disappointment. Learning to be happy in yourself is the first thing to becoming a successful person because you are ultimately an independent human being.

Secondly, if you have found your own happiness, you become a much better partner too and people will want things from you. You may even discover that your husband could change his attitude as a result of you finding your own happiness.

In order to do that, you will have to look into yourself and start doing things for yourself. Don't worry so much about what your husband does or does not do for you. He probably loves you, maybe not in the way you want him to love you. The truth is many local guys don't fit your Hollywood styled suave romantic lover but that doesn't mean he doesn't love you. Like I said above, be responsible for your own happiness. I've never seen a case where people coerce the other person successfully to make them happy.

You are responsible for your own happiness. Don't pin that on anyone else. After that, maybe work constructively towards realistic expectations of what is truly important. Men, too, need time to grow - but such opportunities don't always come for them. Good communications can help in this regard. It's a little counter-intuitive but perhaps you may want to find out what it is that your husband really thinks and likes (and be prepared that these are things that you may not like). The ability to accept and change cuts both ways. If you want your husband to change, I guess the question is how much are you also prepared to change.

Once again, we get so much of the Western bullshit about "if he can't love me the way I am, he doesn't deserve me." The truth is we all change all the time, in order to get to a better place. So work on that, be a better person - for yourself, and not in order to try to negotiate something from your husband. Work on your self-esteem and on whatever baggages you might have.

Also, why is it that men surf porn? It's mainly to fill some emptiness (could be boredom or some other sexual frustration.) Porn is a kind of proxy to real life, a fantasy if you like. It does not mean they don't like you but it could very well mean they're not getting something they want from you. It may be something you are not yet able to give (eg. a confident, strong, smart, sexy woman) but I think it is something women can be. At the risk of generalisation, what men see in porn is the fantasy woman who knows what she wants, who isn't afraid to be sexy, who is beautiful and enjoys sex, who is smart. Of course, there are also men who are into all kinds of fetishes but those are generally things you don't have to worry about because they're usually so far out that it's pure fantasy.

There's too much to write, but hopefully this gives you some ideas.

[conquer]

which porn site he surf?....:confused: :eek:

He must be surfing the notorious sammyboyforum. :(

[priceteck]

He must be surfing the notorious sammyboyforum. :(


Then the wife also surfing here. Hmm.

[Mrwoody]

Try to have a heart to heart talk with him to understand why this is happening. Once he has given you the reason, you two can discussion and work out a solution. Does he enjoy when having sex with you? When a man is stressed at work, he may find that the easiest way out to release stress is to PCC rather than to feel stress to perform in sex with wife. :D this is what i think could possibly happen but i maybe wrong ao talk talk talk with him.:D

[naemlo]

I really dunno how to trust him fully. N how to think open not to be bogged down by his porn surfing activity.����

The reality of marriage life.... Most couples lose their passion after a few yrs together. If u go out with another man, he will have sex with u, almost every night or every moment but after weeks or months, he will give u the same excuse... he is tired. He also want his own personal life.

Get yourself a life and not just live for your husband. It will be healthier for u to ask the same question in another forum instead of SBF... Most men here surf porn, looking for contacts, looking for fun and mainly sex.

[ingzi]

Try to have a heart to heart talk with him to understand why this is happening. Once he has given you the reason, you two can discussion and work out a solution. Does he enjoy when having sex with you? When a man is stressed at work, he may find that the easiest way out to release stress is to PCC rather than to feel stress to perform in sex with wife. :D this is what i think could possibly happen but i maybe wrong ao talk talk talk with him.:D

Problem is he doesnt want to talk whenever we face problems or unhappiness. All he does is avoid. Always hoping things will be swept under the carpet and be ok.

Maybe some of you are right. I need to find my own happiness and learn to let go of the unhappiness and void i feel with him. If he refuse to acknowledge and try to work on our marriage, i alone cant do much.

[jwat]

I bet your inbox now full :). Do you want to try take out?

[Stylec4444]

Whatever it is don't try something on the side. If wanna end it then end it properly then only....

[YELLOW]

u noe y i dont feel like toking to the wife...? becos cannot communicate .... one chicken one duck....tok a bit more chances of quarrel increase ... i dont feel like spoiling my evening.... does ur husband feel the same way ???


Whatever it is don't try something on the side. If wanna end it then end it properly then only....

[MarlboroKen]

He must be surfing the notorious sammyboyforum. :(

Simi Nick. :rolleyes:

[ingzi]

u noe y i dont feel like toking to the wife...? becos cannot communicate .... one chicken one duck....tok a bit more chances of quarrel increase ... i dont feel like spoiling my evening.... does ur husband feel the same way ???

So by not talking and spoiling her evening is ok?
Dont talk dont iron things out dont try to improve jus keep sweeping things under the carpet things will be ok? It will jus be temporary ok cos it will happen again and then things snowball n over the years the problem gets bigger. If both talk nicely and reasonably it need not lead to quarrel. Often its cos one party becomes unreasonable, nasty in the talk or gets agitated that result in a quarrel.

[RoyalKnight]

Compromise and sacrifices is needed on both side. Don't give up !:)

[Retrosynthesis]

Quite apart from your husband's activities, I think the first thing is to work on your own self-esteem and happiness. I've seen many cases where women look to their husbands as the key to their happiness - ie. if the husbands do this, they're happy, if the husband does not do that, they become sad. Anchoring your happiness on another person is a sure route to disappointment. Learning to be happy in yourself is the first thing to becoming a successful person because you are ultimately an independent human being.

Secondly, if you have found your own happiness, you become a much better partner too and people will want things from you. You may even discover that your husband could change his attitude as a result of you finding your own happiness.

In order to do that, you will have to look into yourself and start doing things for yourself. Don't worry so much about what your husband does or does not do for you. He probably loves you, maybe not in the way you want him to love you. The truth is many local guys don't fit your Hollywood styled suave romantic lover but that doesn't mean he doesn't love you. Like I said above, be responsible for your own happiness. I've never seen a case where people coerce the other person successfully to make them happy.

You are responsible for your own happiness. Don't pin that on anyone else. After that, maybe work constructively towards realistic expectations of what is truly important. Men, too, need time to grow - but such opportunities don't always come for them. Good communications can help in this regard. It's a little counter-intuitive but perhaps you may want to find out what it is that your husband really thinks and likes (and be prepared that these are things that you may not like). The ability to accept and change cuts both ways. If you want your husband to change, I guess the question is how much are you also prepared to change.

Once again, we get so much of the Western bullshit about "if he can't love me the way I am, he doesn't deserve me." The truth is we all change all the time, in order to get to a better place. So work on that, be a better person - for yourself, and not in order to try to negotiate something from your husband. Work on your self-esteem and on whatever baggages you might have.

Also, why is it that men surf porn? It's mainly to fill some emptiness (could be boredom or some other sexual frustration.) Porn is a kind of proxy to real life, a fantasy if you like. It does not mean they don't like you but it could very well mean they're not getting something they want from you. It may be something you are not yet able to give (eg. a confident, strong, smart, sexy woman) but I think it is something women can be. At the risk of generalisation, what men see in porn is the fantasy woman who knows what she wants, who isn't afraid to be sexy, who is beautiful and enjoys sex, who is smart. Of course, there are also men who are into all kinds of fetishes but those are generally things you don't have to worry about because they're usually so far out that it's pure fantasy.

There's too much to write, but hopefully this gives you some ideas.

From my male perspective, I totally agree with what bloggert said.

[Retrosynthesis]

Maybe when you can be a little more detach by being more independent, it’ll reduce the tension and better the relationship. I always feel stressed when a girl is overly dependent. It makes the girl less attractive too.

[RhianBrewster]

I bet your inbox now full :). Do you want to try take out?

Why full leh?

[nasdaq]

Who not keen to surf porn? Who said surf porn means eat out?

[shorttime]

thats a saying:

Woman get into marriage, thinking they can changed the man.

Man get into marriage, thinking the woman will not changed.

[badboythai]

Compromise and sacrifices is needed on both side. Don't give up !:)

Bro i agreed with u "Compromise and sacrifices" these two words very important

[wahick]

Who not keen to surf porn? Who said surf porn means eat out?

My exact sentiments.

[BruceGrobbelaar]

Why full leh?

Ya lor. Why?

[Shadow_warrior]

I know its common man do surf porn but i get upset knowing my that my man do that. Its really makes my confidence go all low knowing he always surfs porn..����

Now makes me think if he eats out too.

Whenever we have an arguement, things turn ugly and he doesnt seem to care how i feel or where i have gone..or if anything will happen to me..

10 years of marriage really makes me feel so heartache. Its likei have wasted 10 yrs of my life.

He is not a romantic or sensitive guy. I need a guy who cares and loves me thru action not thru nags. We talked abt these thruout the 10 yrs but as the yrs go, i feel more n more empty and frustrated. Many a times i really cannot stand his nags. He can be unreasonable and bad temper but i cant. When i do, he hurls really nasty words on me.

In case you think we are not doing enough bedroom activities, i would think not. Sometimes i would initiate but he says he is too tired.

I really feel very sad when i know he surfed porn and searched for escort contacts (he said he was curious only) and have tot of divorce b4 but i guess i still love him hence im still stuck in this circle.

I really dunno how to trust him fully. N how to think open not to be bogged down by his porn surfing activity.����

its actually very natural for men to look at porn. And I know ladies who do it regularly too and watch with their other halves

in Australia, playboy and other magazines are available over the shelves

not a big deal at all overseas, so why are we so uptight here in Singapore?

maybe you can consider spicing up the marriage and watch it with him. Perhaps he bored of the sex life and he is looking for some ways to be excited with you

[MarlboroKen]

thats a saying:

Woman get into marriage, thinking they can changed the man.

Man get into marriage, thinking the woman will not changed.

Nice. I like what you say

[conquer]

Then the wife also surfing here. Hmm.

At least this couple has a common hobby. :)

[Littlerocketman]

Compromise and sacrifices is needed on both side. Don't give up !:)

And a lot of trust .

[maomao34]

Sis... You have any children?

[chirpydog]

Go for marriage counselling together...

for those who are dating, make sure the man or woman you are going to marry is agreeable for counselling in the event of impasse after marriage... If not, then don't waste time.. find one that is willing..

the one who is not willing to go for counselling is a irresponsible jerk..

[I Love Boobs]

Feminism is bullshit and is contributing to the extinction of Singaporean society with an almost zero birthrate.

Women want equal rights...
- yet still want the men to pay the bills, hold open doors

Women don't mind having maids to subcontract their "wife" duties to.. cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids.
If a woman can do that, why should she mind her husband subcontracting sexual duties to Geylang or some SYT Thai university student?
In the past, Chinese men were allowed to have concubines, etc.
As long as the primary family was taken care off....

Now women want to control everything...
Cannot la.
You think what - Temasek ah?

[kt88_2]

I know its common man do surf porn but i get upset knowing my that my man do that. Its really makes my confidence go all low knowing he always surfs porn..😭😭

Now makes me think if he eats out too.

Whenever we have an arguement, things turn ugly and he doesnt seem to care how i feel or where i have gone..or if anything will happen to me..

10 years of marriage really makes me feel so heartache. Its likei have wasted 10 yrs of my life.

He is not a romantic or sensitive guy. I need a guy who cares and loves me thru action not thru nags. We talked abt these thruout the 10 yrs but as the yrs go, i feel more n more empty and frustrated. Many a times i really cannot stand his nags. He can be unreasonable and bad temper but i cant. When i do, he hurls really nasty words on me.

In case you think we are not doing enough bedroom activities, i would think not. Sometimes i would initiate but he says he is too tired.

I really feel very sad when i know he surfed porn and searched for escort contacts (he said he was curious only) and have tot of divorce b4 but i guess i still love him hence im still stuck in this circle.

I really dunno how to trust him fully. N how to think open not to be bogged down by his porn surfing activity.😭😭


U consider good initiating sex,I don even get this,,,haha

[MerlinW]

At least this couple has a common hobby. :)

Bro return you from MerlinW. Thank you.

[LongJohn76]

Use the kind of language to encourage him.
Like " I know you are in a bad mood now " maybe i can wait for you to cool down. We can talk about it latter." Find opportunity to talk and understand him.
Last time i use to watch porn when i am angry with my wife. But i have been set free from this.

[xrage]

A lot of times men watch porn as an outlet. When you caught him, maybe he feels a bit embarrassed but put up a strong front, and understandably get visibly upset. Pause and think about how that would help that awkward situation?

Get to the root of it and discuss calmly with him. like many bros suggested.

USually we men all watch porn, as an escape (then you must ask from what?), as an alternative (from you? how to address?), to get excitement from another source (how can you help or add to this (join in instead of 'jumping' on him doing so) and see from his perspective.

This might be difficult and unacceptable to conventional sg ladies to accept, but if you just pause and think about what actions would help and not help your relationship, it may become clearer to understand how you man behaves.. assuming you are rational and open enough. But you are here posting for opinions, so you may well be!

[Rickey]

Who doesn't ?...my opinion is tat surfing or watching porn is not necessarily a bad or wrong thing by itself...actually almost every1 of us watches porn, guys or gals at least once in our lives if not more ;)...but surfing alone may arouse the guy & lead him to wanna hv real action if he can't control himself :D...thus seeking out FL, pros etc :(...so since TS sis knows her hubby is watching porn, why not join him instead ??...so when both of u get turned on by a particular scene u can act it out between the 2 of u there n then in yr own bedroom ;)...tat i believe is a win win situation

[Shadow_warrior]

Who doesn't ?...my opinion is tat surfing or watching porn is not necessarily a bad or wrong thing by itself...actually almost every1 of us watches porn, guys or gals at least once in our lives if not more ;)...but surfing alone may arouse the guy & lead him to wanna hv real action if he can't control himself :D...thus seeking out FL, pros etc :(...so since TS sis knows her hubby is watching porn, why not join him instead ??...so when both of u get turned on by a particular scene u can act it out between the 2 of u there n then in yr own bedroom ;)...tat i believe is a win win situation

totally concur bro

why is it bad? overseas, its not even seen as porn.

I mean Cat 3 movies are all over the internet, and magazines can be bought in Australia over the counter.

[Silentreader88]

totally concur bro

why is it bad? overseas, its not even seen as porn.

I mean Cat 3 movies are all over the internet, and magazines can be bought in Australia over the counter.

Hk also can buy porno mag at newstand! Adult Liao also can't take porn meh! TS is so narrow minded !

[Shadow_warrior]

Hk also can buy porno mag at newstand! Adult Liao also can't take porn meh! TS is so narrow minded !

I had the best experience in JC when my gf then was watching porn and looking at sexy pictures and she was turned on

Girls that watch porn are sexy. And then they get horny so its better for us.

Or just watch it together. Add some spice to the love life

Back in the day, this was porn or for those religious people "dirty pictures"

139371

[tomandli]

use to enjoy porn with my wife, we like cuckold site, and I like to ask her about fucking a stranger and like me watch, ......

[Conalamo41]

Guys watching porn is kind of a norm. Not everyone will understand that im sure.

Whats your going through is exactly what i went through with my wife for the last 5 years. Mine had nothing to do with mw watching porn. More of cold shoulder to each other. Its tough to have a smooth marriage but it can be worked on.

My wife was like you desparate for my love. The only i would do is make it worse by arguing about the silliest things. We only had sex 1s in 8 months. So i resorted to just watching porn.

Last month i got fed up of this relationship and spoke to her openly on what i dont like and like between us. She did the same. I stopped picking on her on simple things just let it go. Slowly everything changed. We bang every night i mean when one of is not tired. She gives me the best hj.
Also now she started watching porn when im not around and she tells me about it which is amazing. I mean i still love porn, my wife and sometimes fantasizing about other women.
Hope this helps.

[Rickey]

Guys watching porn is kind of a norm. Not everyone will understand that im sure.

Whats your going through is exactly what i went through with my wife for the last 5 years. Mine had nothing to do with mw watching porn. More of cold shoulder to each other. Its tough to have a smooth marriage but it can be worked on.

My wife was like you desparate for my love. The only i would do is make it worse by arguing about the silliest things. We only had sex 1s in 8 months. So i resorted to just watching porn.

Last month i got fed up of this relationship and spoke to her openly on what i dont like and like between us. She did the same. I stopped picking on her on simple things just let it go. Slowly everything changed. We bang every night i mean when one of is not tired. She gives me the best hj.
Also now she started watching porn when im not around and she tells me about it which is amazing. I mean i still love porn, my wife and sometimes fantasizing about other women.
Hope this helps.
Congrats !...wat a great achievement for tis bro :)...hard to believe tat his wife is now into porn herself :eek::D...i m sure it is not easy for both of them to come tgt to talk & discuss abt their sexual problem...but worth a try for other bros.. who need help ignite the sexual spark in their marriages...T.Q. bro for sharing yr experience wif us :)

[MoeLanYong]

Guys watching porn is kind of a norm. Not everyone will understand that im sure.

Whats your going through is exactly what i went through with my wife for the last 5 years. Mine had nothing to do with mw watching porn. More of cold shoulder to each other. Its tough to have a smooth marriage but it can be worked on.

My wife was like you desparate for my love. The only i would do is make it worse by arguing about the silliest things. We only had sex 1s in 8 months. So i resorted to just watching porn.

Last month i got fed up of this relationship and spoke to her openly on what i dont like and like between us. She did the same. I stopped picking on her on simple things just let it go. Slowly everything changed. We bang every night i mean when one of is not tired. She gives me the best hj.
Also now she started watching porn when im not around and she tells me about it which is amazing. I mean i still love porn, my wife and sometimes fantasizing about other women.
Hope this helps.

Good advice. TS, stop complaining. Start acting. Your hubby is built to want Sex. It is part of procreation. If Man is not interested in sex, Mankind would have ended eons ago. You should be glad your hubby is not surfing gay porn. Freddie Mercury liked men after marrying a woman. Go join your hubby when he is watching porn. That will make him stop if he is too embarassed or you folks will simply bring sex to the next level.

[Katupnik]

Guys watching porn is kind of a norm. Not everyone will understand that im sure.

Whats your going through is exactly what i went through with my wife for the last 5 years. Mine had nothing to do with mw watching porn. More of cold shoulder to each other. Its tough to have a smooth marriage but it can be worked on.

My wife was like you desparate for my love. The only i would do is make it worse by arguing about the silliest things. We only had sex 1s in 8 months. So i resorted to just watching porn.

Last month i got fed up of this relationship and spoke to her openly on what i dont like and like between us. She did the same. I stopped picking on her on simple things just let it go. Slowly everything changed. We bang every night i mean when one of is not tired. She gives me the best hj.
Also now she started watching porn when im not around and she tells me about it which is amazing. I mean i still love porn, my wife and sometimes fantasizing about other women.
Hope this helps.

Good for you bro!! :D