Having a crush with my maid. [Archive] - The Asian Commercial Sex Scene

xityc76

23-03-2007, 04:46 PM

Hello brudders,

First of all, I thank you for coming in and read my post. I am a newbies, so please guide me along.

I am not a cheongster, but it is through my friend(he is a samster) who advised me to seek help from here. He said many seniors here are good in giving advises.

Ok, to cut things short, as the title implies, I am having a crush with my maid. It is kind of silly, but if you bare to listen to my story, I hope you do not laugh or penalise me for having such feelings.

For an intro, I have recently been divorsed. It is not me who had adultery, but it was my ex-wife who did it. Anyway, I do not want to go in-detail about my misery.

My maid has been with me for the past two years. Thoughout the years, I have been treating her as ordinary maid, but ever since mishaps starts to spur up in my family, she is kind of like a friend to me than a maid. Somehow or rather, I do feel she has liking over me, but I am not sure. I am a shy person, I do not make any intiative to approach her about my feelings. Right now, I am living and staying under the same roof with her and my son.

I have thought of approaching her and tell her my feelings. But, I know it is wrong to have relationship with the maid. I might get into trouble. However, as days goes by, I feel the urge of telling her about my feeling grows stronger. I will know some brothers here will advise me to send her home and forget about her. However, she has been so kind to me and my son. I do not wish to do that.

To make things worst, she is married in Philipines. However, from the years she has been here, she did not mention much about her husband. It seems she is not close to her husband. That is the only setback that holds me from telling her my feelings. I am both afraid of giving her a bad impression of me, and also I am afraid of stealing away someone's wife. But if she really wants to be with me, I am a person who treasure my love and I do not care about her status.

Oh man, my head is cracking now ... I hope to get some advises from brother here.

Is it hard to convert a maid to be your gf, and eventually getting her as a wife ? From what I have noticed, she is indeed a girl whom I can live my entire life with.

I appreciate your kind advises.

I will bow my head down in the deepest gratitude to those who can give me positive encouragement and advises.

Many many many Thanks,
xityc

TuaPao

24-03-2007, 10:46 AM

Bro,

You have my sympathies on your predicament.

I don't think you have any way of prolonging the relationship without letting her know your intentions.

You will have to come to an agreement with her, if she wants to be your personal mate. Then terminate her employment and send her back. Then she can come back and service you legitimately. But Seing in Sillypore, please check and confirm the hurdles you have to jump once you decide to proceed on this track.

Just my 2 cents worth.

So many fishes outside, why find one with so many bones??

etsys

24-03-2007, 01:22 PM

Bro,

there were some threads on this. Search for MAID, and you may find the threads.

Simply, dont eat and shit in your own place.

Not a good idea, and I love philipinos, but when it comes to matters of heart, just dont hack it.

They can turn into the most horrible devil in your life, if they become attached.

They do not mention husband, but the moment they go back, its happy happy .. dont imagine too much just because she never talk about her husband.

Additionally, philippines is catholic country, no divorce. IF she really is married, no way for you to get divorce.

And seems like you are in -rebound, and when in such case, all women may seem loving. Just my 2 cents. Dont do it.

With all the safety clauses, murphy's law will always strike, and strike hard :-)

No further comments bro.

Rog

aman

24-03-2007, 05:59 PM

Bro,

Not a good idea, and I love philipinos, but when it comes to matters of heart, just dont hack it.

They can turn into the most horrible devil in your life, if they become attached.

They do not mention husband, but the moment they go back, its happy happy .. dont imagine too much just because she never talk about her husband.

Additionally, philippines is catholic country, no divorce. IF she really is married, no way for you to get divorce.

And seems like you are in -rebound, and when in such case, all women may seem loving. Just my 2 cents. Dont do it.

With all the safety clauses, murphy's law will always strike, and strike hard :-)

No further comments bro.

Rog

I agree with bro etsys. i hv a pino gir b4, n she marry oso,but when she here with you ,she can do wat you want, when she back there happy with her husband...n she can tell you alot story.....just my 1 cent.

augustablue

24-03-2007, 09:30 PM

bro xityc76 ... I agreed with the rest ...

Getting involved with maid can be handsful ... not forgetting about the unknown over in philipines ... can your siblings accept the fact ...

Bro ... there is a big forest out there ... not forgetting the branches that sometime comes along with the trees ... you are still young man ... go out and get them !! Life have to move on ...

:)

sysysy

25-03-2007, 12:13 AM

i suppose u should check out how she feel towards u before u make any move

WillamSexsphere

25-03-2007, 12:16 AM

bro...i can sense the frustrations and pent-up emotions within you.

2 years of living together under the same roof with the maid, and probably a witness to your heated bouts with your ex, shielding the child, consoling you when you found out the truth about your ex's flames...becoming a close confidante, someone whom you can relate to for she was privy to your private life, and you did admit that she is 'kinda like a friend'.

'kinda like a friend'... i hope that does not mean there is more to that relationship, such as intimacy.

I once knew love, and needed love, the pure kind, shared totally with another being, faithfully and eternally....but now i know that there's no such thing as love. It does not exist, just an excuse to keep the mankind species alive.

To love is to be weak, to submit to another, and to lose control of yourself. We are able to land on the moon, travel to the stars and build huge monoliths on earth, will fight to the death....but when we love, we are lost and weak.

You are weak now, for you had loved once and had a child with her(ex). You are still entrapped by love, and with her(ex) gone, you feel an emptiness within you because you still believe in the concept of 'love'. Your maid, the closest person next to you through looking after your son, day and night together in the same roof, is someone whom you presume can fill that emptiness inside you.

Don't do it. Not because she is a lowly maid, not because she is married, not because of the seemingly unsurmountable hurdles ahead, not because she may reject you...It's because you are mentally unstable to make that decision, a lifelong and committed decision that may affect and destroy not only your life, your son's but her's as well.

Instead, get a hobby, meet up new friends, do not keep to yourself and suffer in misery. Have a drink, a golf game, movies, etc..keep yourself busy. It will help to regain your sanity and thinking process.

You may not be able to live with yourself now with the emptiness gnawing at you, sucidal thoughts may have gotten across your mind, but you have to live and continue on, be not a loser, not only for your own sake, but for your son's sake. He is innocent and deserves a chance to grow to adulthood, the chance you had.

Treat your maid as a good friend that she has become, taking care of you and your son. Let some time pass before you even think of intimacy. Wear a rubber and visit Geylang if you need sexual release. It will hurt no one emotionally. All men needs that release. But treat her(maid) as a friend, a good one if you think she fits.

When you more or less regain your sanity and equalibirum as before you got married with ex, probably as a young and hardworking career family orientated man, then consider again if the maid is someone whom you can love and cherish eternally. during all these times you spent with her and son under one roof. If so, be brave and give love a second chance. If not, you can still be friends forever.

Be brave, my bro, and think clearly. At the end of the day, we are the captain of our own ship, we make our own decisions. But as man, once that decision is taken, no regrets, come hell or highwater and be true to that decision takened.

All the best. Cheers!:)

ToxicQueen

25-03-2007, 01:18 AM

actually, it's jus the emptiness n loneliness which make yr heart think tat u had a crush with yr maid.. well, it's a normal reaction to human beings which normally when they get hurt or depressed, someone who is there at the right time n right moment to share n listen to yr sorrows, u'll get the same feelings. i know how u feel at this moment. cos it happen to me during my break-off with my ex bf.. got a special kind of feeling with a married guy who console n care 4 me almost everyday during my 'healing' period... but in the end, i know nothing good will come out of this relationship, cos i won't bear to break up his happy family. it's really hurtssss. but i know if to continue it'll hurts more. sometimes need to control yr emotions n feelings. i know it's hard but since u can overcome yr divorce, why not this time? to be frank, u can't keep her in singapore forever, she still needs to go back to her hometown in future, rite? u'r into the divorce stage n i think u won't want her to be the same like u, don't u? n u can't promise eternal love, rite? will she be with u forever or will she leave u in the end? nobody know n no1 can predict the future. try to let go as i know u dun wanna get hurt anymore. cos it's really hurts... sometimes u need to let go to learn more. i'm sure u can find someone more better. hope everything will go fine for u. :)
wish u all the best. ;)

_AXL_

25-03-2007, 05:11 AM

dear threadstarter,

i dont think i m fit to give any advice to u cos i have never been in love with my maid. but like u, i have recently broken off from a relationship. however, not as shitty as yrs, no offence. we were just preparing for our wedding but not officially married yet. but i think i have a few questions for u to ask yrself, that's all.

1. if u said u have developed feelings for her, when did u start to have these feelings?
did u have start to have feelings for her the 1st day she stepped into yr house to work as a maid?
did u have start to have feelings for her when u started to have marital problems?

2. r u on the rebound?
what makes u think u r not on the rebound?

3. how do u know that u really love her?
how do u know that she loves u?
what makes u think she wants to be with u?
what if she is in love with her husband?
what makes u think she needs to tell u about her husband?
what makes u think that she will tell u the truth?

4. do u know that for every action, there r consequences? not an equal and opposite reaction.
do u know the consequences?
r u willing to suffer those consequences?
does yr son deserve to bear those consequences? let me reiterate that consequences can be good or bad.

5. do u know the laws of the country?
do u know that maids r on work permit pass, they cannot marry?
do u know that they cannot get pregnant here?
do u know adultery is a crime?
do u know rape is also a crime?
do u know of cases whereby people r being blackmailed?

6. r u horny?
do u have $?
do u know how to find fl?
do u know a lot of bros here can advise u how to find fl?
do u know that some bros here can actually bring u to find fl?

just worried that it might be spur of the moment for u. it might turn out to be a decision that defines yr whole life, so decide wisely. if u r just looking for some bros here just to say whatever u have already decided to do, then ignore me.

for all those bros here who think i m trying to be cheeky, i m not. just trying to cover all the bases. not that i think i have, but i try to. cheers.

ekemono

25-03-2007, 05:17 AM

Bro,
I feel that you are affected by your past.
I am a divorcee too.

Your mindset is already used to the "being and belonging to someone" kinda of mentality. So once a divorce come, its like a gust of big wind blew away your four walls and clothing. Doesn't matter who is the plantiff or defendent, it still feels the same.

Like the bros say you feel empty, lost and lonely.
In a crude way (dun get offended), you are like a young girl just ditch by bf and are vulnarable. At the same time you may feel lousy about life so any form of "covers" comes along you just grab without knowing wat it is, cos it somehow makes you feel "belong" again and you may tot indirectly it boost your confidence in life again.

the pino is married.
Ask yourself this: That asshole who lure your ex-wife and broke your life, do you want to be like him?.
Moreover, If the pino can leave her husband for you, then highly possible she will leave you too in a fine day. As we speak, so will your ex-wife to the asshole.

When after my divorce, I also feel empty, low-down.
but God Almighthy.
Cos i spend all my saving on fighting it at the court with my ex-PRC money-minded wife, I was broke in the end.
Then my parents supported me sipiratually and finacially(sometimes pass back some $$ i gave them monthly so I can go have a decent movie, makan).
Becos "no money no honey", I never make any effort to sian gals and cos of my parents' love for me, I felt someone do care for me and I learn to be filial and follow them to church. I learn that life is more than just about gals.

After years i found a good local girl who accepted my past and pampers me alot.

My advice is you are living and looking at a closed-up world of your own.
Go out there... there are plenty of gals and things in life more worth pursuing. All you need is patient and faith in yourself.
When was the last time you visited Geylang for a recharging session or a hot nites out at the club? Maybe you need to set an appointment for that :)

THE WORLD IS OUT THERE WAITING FOR YOU.

GhostRay

25-03-2007, 06:51 AM

Maybe the maid just care for you out of pity & kind hearted cos 2 years in your family. You took it like she is in love with you. Make sure she is really got feeling for you 1st.

skyline07

25-03-2007, 04:38 PM

Hmmm, I think it is still not nice to have a relationship with a maid. No matter what, we are staying in this small island "sillypore", so many rules and regulations that can easier get you into jail for the smallest things you might have done. Somemore, she is married, I believe you wldnt want to be like your wife right?

Now you are just lonely, thats why you did consider your maid. Go out to know more friends, either online, SDU or company... whatever it is, just make yourself busy and very soon you will find the real you again.

Wish you luck bro.

sToNeCoLd

25-03-2007, 05:21 PM

In short...I think you're attempting to ignite a fire besides a tons of TNT explosive.

Get it?? :confused:

justwanadoit

25-03-2007, 05:30 PM

Now you are just lonely, thats why you did consider your maid. Go out to know more friends, either online, SDU or company... whatever it is, just make yourself busy and very soon you will find the real you again.

Wish you luck bro.

Bro,

SDU close down liao. I can think of few places no need $ or cover charge one:

1. Join ur RC, who know u may sian the next MP for blah blah or MP's daughter.

2.Join church group.

3.Join matchmaking agency.

4.Join some interest group.

Dr Zoidberg

25-03-2007, 09:29 PM

Hmmmmm a heart condition. Seriously judging from the details, you seem to be on the rebound thus your judgement may be flawed. You need to get out more! Meet new people! You can do it!

Also on a legal note, there will be alot of complications if you get on with your maid. First she is married already, second she is on work permit. Which means you need for her to get a divorce back in home and later approval from our government to get married. Don't want you to be a victim of any pino con job so I advise you to drop the idea.

Besides it's only a crush.

Doctor Zoidberg the Love Doctor

The Associate

25-03-2007, 09:41 PM

Agree with the brothers. For your own good, don't get involved with your maid. First she has to get a divorce back in the Philipines which may be messy. What if she has kids of her own? What of her family?

Second, you need to get approval from MOM because she was once a work permit holder. Without the approval, she will be BANNED from coming back to singapore. There are cases whereby the couple was seperated for 10 years before Immigration granted the big OK for her to return. Third even after approval and marriage it will not be easy for you to attain PR status for her (unless she happens to be a trained nurse). So you will have to bear a heavy financial burden.

Third, never get involved in wrecking other people's marriages. You having experienced it should know how bad that hurts.

Hope this helps you to decide.

boon huat

25-03-2007, 09:56 PM

dun let ur recent marital problems confused u and cloud ur judgment. Understandably at such a low morale stage of ur life now, its normal to have such feelings towards other females around u.

since u said she treats u and ur child well, y dun u treat her with the same respect as an employer would to a employee. dun make further mess to ur life.

think its good for u to take a short break go for a short holiday have some fresh air and sober up a bit...take good care :)

xityc76

26-03-2007, 11:48 AM

First of all, I like to thank all the brothers here for your valuable time and inputs.

This is truely a place where I can get many wise advises. I was having a doubt about posting my problems here at first, but it seems I didn't regret at all. Anyway, I thanked my friend for introducing me to this site.

From the replies I have read. Many of you are suggesting that I should give up on her. Only a handful of the brothers are giving me some positive idea of going on with her, provided that I know what I am doing.

I am afraid of writing a long, long story and also exposing my true identity, that is why I do not wish to write so much about myself.

I am a person who do not go flirting or going to Geylang to satisfy myself. I am not a cheongster, as I have mentioned in the first thread. I am not seeking her(my maid) to satisfy my loneliness or do I wish to have a bed partner.

Many have said that I am in the rebounce state. Well, I have to admit that it feel a bit of aweful to be single again when you have gone through married life. However, I have and had gone through a terrible, miserable time trying to pick myself up. Trust me, for those who have suffered divorse, will know how I feel. Well, not many guys have experienced the worst like me, when they discovered their wife been cheating on them. I will not relate my sad story here. Anyway, I have been through hell, and I am right now on the right track of mindset. I am able to see the consequences and I am very aware of the actions that I am taking.

I am not a person who fall into love as easy or desperate as some of you are viewing me as. I know many of you will not believe me, but I am a great willed person and will never make any risk if it is potentially dangerous.

Before I continue, I would like to answer to _AXL_ questions as I think they are quite a valid questions to ask.

1. No, when I employed her as a maid, I do not have feelings at all with my maids. I have employed over three maids through these years. She is currently my last maid and I would say that she is the most hardworking one. Her look is not as great as others, but what I admire her is her character and personality. I have mentioned my feelings started when I am in the rebounce period, when I have trouble with my ex-wife. Maybe, most love or feelings are started this way as well. When people are having hardships, it is the most probable time of seeing the true colors of the other person.

2. As mentioned above, I have up and walking with my life again. (no more having rebounce feelings) I am not desperate to seek another partner, but becos of my feelings that grow naturally with her(my maid) ... I feel surprised too that I have such a feeling, but it is un-explanable.

3. (so many question under a number)
a. Yes, I can tell that I do love her. Not becos of her look or her body but more of her dedication to her work and her being there(presence) and my son acceptance of her.
b. That is why I am seeking advise here. I want to go ahead to ask her if she is fond of me too. How do I approach her without making her feel aweful. I am a shy person and I am worried if I do approach her and she feel that I am a bad person.
c. I dunno about her and her husband. Is it normal that when they come here to work, they do not contact their husband at all ? I have previous maids who are married too and they do contact their husband. But not this one.
d., e,, f. I am not sure, if she is in love with her husband and etc. that is why I need to ask her. I really need to speak out my feelings to her and find out from her. HOW??? HOW ???

4. I am not a rash rash person. If I do, I will not have come in here and seek advises. I know the consequences. It is a risk, that I may need to take. As with all risk, it can turn out to be good and it can turn out to be bad. I came here to see if any brothers who have the same experience that I am going through right now. I am willing to go all the way out for her. That is my stand. If she give me a positive answer, I will go all the way out. With my status(income), applying PR for her is not a problem. I care too much for my son, and he is very fond of her, that is also another factor why I admire her(my maid). Everytime when I am busy at home with my work, she is there to occupy time with my son and I am very happy and sometimes in tears seeing them behaving like mother and son. The feeling is unexplanable.

5. I know a little bit of the law and factors about work permit and foreign worker cannot get married under normal circumstances. I did my homework to check out every single details about marrying a Filipino. So, it is a problem. As I mentioned, I will go all the way out to get her, provided that she give me a positive answer. No, I will not have relationship that is illegitimate. I will not bed her until I make her as my legal wife.

6. No. I am not horny type. No, no , no. I do not find prostitute. Thanks for your offer for freelance. Although I have money, but I do know how to spend them wisely. I have hobbies of my own and I know how to spend my time to occupy my life.

In conclusion, I am not a person who jump into conclusion. In prior to that, I am a very concious, careful and determined person.

I just hope that I can find a solution that I can release my word to her, to tell her how I feel and to find out about her feelings toward me. With all respect as well, I do not want her to have any negative effects on her work and her future working relationship under my house.

You may have understand, all I want is to ask her if she can accept me. If not, I will give up my feelings and move on as normal. However, I am just afraid that if I tell her, she will react differently, and worst, affect her work here. She might even be too afraid of working for me anymore. Which I am very feared of. She is one of the best maid I can ever take.

My dilema ...

Thanks for all the advises from all the brothers.

xityc76

spidey69

26-03-2007, 01:08 PM

[QUOTE=xityc76;1925622]First of all, I like to thank all the brothers here for your valuable time and inputs.

However, I have and had gone through a terrible, miserable time trying to pick myself up. Trust me, for those who have suffered divorse, will know how I feel. Well, not many guys have experienced the worst like me, when they discovered their wife been cheating on them. I will not relate my sad story here. Anyway, I have been through hell, and I am right now on the right track of mindset. I am able to see the consequences and I am very aware of the actions that I am taking.

Bro xcity,

i can very much understand how u feel.. Years ago, this shit also happen to me :mad: .. IMHO :

1) u stil have your son ( which i believe is very dear to u ) and also your family.. u r NOT alone in this.. talk to your best frens, your siblings or your parents..

2) i believe a lot of times u will feel that your house is empty, and the life ahead seems bleak.. trust me, i know that kind of feeling. worse for me is that my little girl's custody is with her mum ( F--K the woman's charter, f--k the stupid s'pore law ).. But hang on there, things will improve..

3) i seriously dun think the situation with your maid will turn out well.. just continue to be a good employer to her.. keep the relationship simple and platonic..

1 of the bros mentioned that u should never break up your maids family ( especially when u yourself has experienced that bastard breaking up yours ). I think that is a very valid point.. Sometimes there is no right or wrong in life but sometimes, we need to set the bottomline..

take care bro.. if u need someone to talk to, u can PM me for my contact..i would be gald to have u as a fren.. dun coop up in your own world.. open your mind and heart and u will realise that even though there are a number of bastards and idiots in this world, the good ones actually outnumber them..:)

Castrol

26-03-2007, 02:52 PM

Is it hard to convert a maid to be your gf, and eventually getting her as a wife ? From what I have noticed, she is indeed a girl whom I can live my entire life with.

want to love, dare to love, go ahead and love.

but one problem - she's married hor. :D

wahlau

26-03-2007, 03:32 PM

Dear Brother,

Firstly, lets get the issue of the maid out of the way. Just because she is a maid does not mean she is not worthy of love and a relationship. This person could be your unmarried (or even married) sister-in-law or somebody close. With this in mind, you can then look at the issue squarely.

Is it love or is it all a big sympathy or misplaced vacuum that needs filling? Only you can answer. The real answer you can give depends on your situation and circumstances you are in. Can you honestly think straight and be sober?

Filippino culture is unlike chinese culture. The women worked and bring home the bacon. Most of the men laze around and screw. This is especially so in the villages and provinces. Many filippino maids marry as away of life and leave their children back home. Their duty and obligation is to send money home.

So there is no need to ask if she love her husband. She don't hate him but she's the wife.

xityc76

26-03-2007, 04:10 PM

Thanks again for the advises.

I do not view people for whom they are from or what their status is. She can be a beggar on the street. She can be from africa. It does not matter to me. I love a person for what they are.

Yes, I agree to put aside her status as a maid. I put aside her being a Filipino. I have put aside all these, but I cannot put aside the fact that she is married. As mentioned, it is the only factor that made me withhold myself from making advances to her.

I have think about it for many many nights. If I were to go ahead to ask her and what if she agree to be with me. I am going to be a bastard.

However, in the other side of me telling me that I can provide her more than her husband back in Philipines. It is seems that there is an angel and a devil both whispering in my ears. The devil say, go ahead and make yourself happy and make her happy. In the other side, the angel tell me that I might be making another man sad.

I am a kind person, too kind to hurt someone's feelings. I'm too kind that people take me for granted. All I wanted to make sure is that if I were to court her, I will want to make sure that she is willing and also her husband must not be hurt. Sound like it is impossible. However, if I do not try, I will not know. I have heard of her friends who are married and their men are cheating over in Philipines. Sometimes, I wished that her husband are cheating on her too, so she has the right to leave him. I really pray that it happen.(I am being nasty, but I have no choice but to leave it to fate.)

I am gathering my courage now so that I can ask her politely and safely. If not, this feelings I have dwell in my heart will never go away.

I am not making any rash or hush decision. I have been thinking through months already. Finally I approached my friend and told him. Not knowingly, he is a member of this forum. I am sure he is reading my thread. He told me to come here to post. I love to listen to opinion. Although it may or may not affect my decision, but it is good to listen to others' advises.

I hope God will grant me a chance where I can open myself to her.

Thanks brothers. I appreciate all your reading and opinions.

Regards,
xityc76

WillamSexsphere

26-03-2007, 09:39 PM

Go ahead, do it.

What you seek from us is not advice, for you have already decided on the course of action.

What you seek from us is JUSTIFICATION for that course of action you decided on.

I agree with what bro Stonecold had written. I just want to add:-
Being cold and seeking warmth, you are lighting a fire in a wharehouse filled to the brim with kegs of compressed gunpowder.

1. You love your maid, who is living with you together, and am inflame with passion for her in your current state of mind, and am determined to press your suit.

2. Being inflamed with passion, you are weak and instable in mind with love. You will not be able to accept NO for an answer.

3. And that will lead to dire consequences.

Sigh..many of us had been thru worse emotional situations than you and came out stronger. Man are master of their fate, but if you allow yourself to be ruled by fate instead, then regret not the destiny that lies ahead for you.

Sorry if i sound harsh...but facts are facts. I sincerely wish you well.

PS: Although cheongsters may be called all kind of nasty things, but there are categories to cheongsters. Moralist we are not, but the last thing better category cheongster have is honour. We do not set out to destroy other's lives wilfully. At least most of us. But then, its your life, not mine to comment.

The Associate

26-03-2007, 09:49 PM

Well said bro WillamSexsphere! A very good take on the matter and I agree with his assessment. Thought I still say it is a bad idea. Anyways as a fellow singaporean male we should always support one another. So best of luck brother.

Derelict

27-03-2007, 01:00 AM

Like the Doctor said. You sound like you're on a rebound.

Whats a rebound?

Defining a Rebound Relationship. A rebound relationship is one that occurs shortly after the break – up of a significant love relationship. If you are in a relationship but have distanced yourself emotionally from your relationship partner, you may begin a rebound relationship before you even leave the relationship you are in. If you move quickly from a long lasting relationship into another relationship then you are probably in a “rebound relationship.

A rebound relationship is a distraction. It is a connection to another person that keeps us from having to experience the full extent of the emotional pain of our resent break – up. It is a misguided attempt to move on with our lives. Many people will jump back into the dating scene because they fear being alone. It’s a quick fix, one in which we can drown out our pain by reveling in the emotional intensity and passion of a new found love. It can be a a lot more fun that dealing with the misery of a recently broken heart.

Don’t go into a rebound relationship expecting your new partner to make up for the shortcomings and mistakes of the old partner. I like to call this the “knight is shining armor syndrome.” You may have just come out of a relationship that involved infidelity or abuse so, you turn around and expect your new partner to be able to make up for the pain you experienced in the old relationship. More than likely, all you will do is exchange one set of problems for another.

If you have spent years in a bad relationship you might be itching to make up for lost time. It’s human nature to want a committed, fulfilling relationship and that desire can cause us to leap into a rebound relationship full speed ahead. We may have a sense of urgency and a desire to make sure we get it right the next time around. Those are great motivators to have but, make sure that sense of urgency is not causing you to rush in the wrong direction.

This is the biggest problem in a rebound relationship. Usually someone ends up being used and hurt as a result. If you are in a relationship to distract yourself from the pain of a broken heart then you are using another person. More than likely when that person has served their purpose you will move on, leaving them to pick up the pieces. Be honest with your new relationship partner about your intentions.

Experiencing and healing the pain of a broken relationship helps us become people who are more compassionate to other people’s pain. Emotional pain won’t kill you; it’s what you will do to avoid that pain that might kill you. Or, at least make you wish you had not moved so swiftly into a new relationship. So, do yourself and any potential new relationship partners a favor and deal with the pain of your old relationship before moving onto another one.

Okay, the above was from a book by Cathy Meyer. I just thot you might be interested in understanding what you're going thru now. Hopefully it will give light to your situation now. Hope it help.

Gluck mate!

_AXL_

27-03-2007, 01:54 AM

ekemono

27-03-2007, 02:40 AM

why not bring her to makan w/o son around and ask about her marriage life b4 you do anything.

spidey69

27-03-2007, 08:43 AM

Bro XityC76,

I have gone thru this thread 1 more time and i dun think u mentioned this before. So just to confirm, does your maid has any kids back in Philippines?

I hope she dun have. otherwise it will make the situation even worse..

i understand its a TOUGH decision to make.. At the end of the day, its your life.. so you make your own choices.. good luck bro..

xityc76

27-03-2007, 09:27 AM

To Brothers who have replied or read my post. I thank you for your valuable time and advises.

As a person cannot judge himself even if he looked at the mirror. That is why I came here and I guess many of you have judged me correct in saying that I am in a state of rebound. Thanks to Derelict for his clear and detailed explanation gotten from a book. Now after reading his definition of rebound, I think I am clearly in that category.

However, some part of it does fit me into rebound state. For example, I am not desperate to get someone to replace my lost love. No. I am not a desperate person. If you ask yourself, how do you find love ? How do people fall in love ? Well, you fall in love when you are comfortable with that person. It is clearly not a love in first sight. For me, I feel comfortable not only for myself, but also for my only son.

I have some my reason why I like/love her(my maid). I am so tempted to list her virtue, but the main reason why I really like/love her becos of her decent, hardworking and patience character. As most brother experience love this way when you see someone whom you're naturally attracted to. For me, I feel this way, I am naturally attracted to her. Not only I feel that, but my son also feel it this way. I asked my son secretly if he like her(my maid) and he shyly told me yes. My son does not love my ex-wife at all. She(ex-wife) constantly abused my son with her vulgar scolding and my maid is the one who constantly been shielding him when I am not around. So, who do you think my son is closer to ? Of cos, my son is closer to me as I devoted my whole time with him when I am not working. And he sleeps with me.

With all said about my feelings towards her. I think yes, I may be partially in rebound, but also I am very clear of what I am doing. I am a person who take relationship seriously and that explain why I do not flirt or go prostitution. If she agree to my feelings, I will be most happy to go ahead with her. However, I am a cautious person and I will look before I step on the next stone. I will not rush things, so that if we're together it will give me more chances to know the true colors of her. Like many of you will believe that she (my maid) may not be what she is now when she knows that I love her. She may change and take advantage of me. That is why I want to go slow and I will not be tempted to do foolish things.

Right now, all I want is a chance to convey my message to her.

I was thinking of sending her sms. However this is not sincere. I wanted to talk to her face to face, however blame me or scold me for being a coward. We are all borned differently, and I am a shy person in nature and everytime when opportunity is there, I always frozed up and my lips are locked tight.

I pray that God will give me courage and strength to say what I want to her.

Thanks Brothers for you replies.

Oh, by the way, she is married but without any kids. We have been communicating more recently and she started to say about her past and about her childhood. She is opening up herself to me and she is kind of relunctant to talk about her husband. I am not sure why and I do not wish to ask her as it may strike her nerve becos it is a sensitive topic to talk about.

Oh well, I must eat more snake gut to be more courageous.

Alright, can I have an opinion from brothers here. Should I sms or should I talk to her face to face.

I will post whatever consequence it may fall upon me if chances permit.

You all have my deepest gratitude. Thanks Sammyboy forum.

Xityc76

Niceman

27-03-2007, 09:39 AM

xityc76,

As a matter of fact, you already got the answer. You are not seeking advise becos u were confused.

However, bro, i don't think yours is love.... your love built on the basis of loneliness and emptiness. u need a companion and she just happen to be there.

Well..... nothing much to say cos u already make up your mind. Just take good care and think again. Don't rush.....

Take care

aman

27-03-2007, 09:56 AM

I hope God will grant me a chance where I can open myself to her.

xityc76

.

I pray that God will give me courage and strength to say what I want to her.

Xityc76

Even when walking through d valley of darkness,i an not afraid,for d lord is close beside me,guarding gurarding all d way.
bro you are not alone.:D

_AXL_

27-03-2007, 10:03 AM

just worried that it might be spur of the moment for u. it might turn out to be a decision that defines yr whole life, so decide wisely. if u r just looking for some bros here just to say whatever u have already decided to do, then ignore me.

from the threadstarter's last post, i already confirmed that u r here doing what i didnt hope to see u doing - just looking for people to egg u on. good luck.

xityc76

27-03-2007, 11:33 AM

Hi again,

No, I am not a stubborn person who just heed my own decision. I probably am a leader by nature but at times, I will listen to wise advice. That is why I am her for. To seek opinion.

Sorry AXL if I have protrait a picture that I am stubborn and already made my decision. No, have not totally convinced yet to go ahead to ask her. If I do, I will already have made the advances already. I am seeing her everyday. Furthermore she is under the same roof as me. I can make the advances anytime I want as I have her HP number and I can sms her right now. But I am holding back becos I want to seek more opinion.

To withhold my true identity, I do not want to say much about myself, but to clarify with brothers here, I am not seeking her(my maid) to fill up my hole in the heart. I am truely and naturally attracted to her and not becos rebound relationship. Why I say that becos I recently have had a girl whom I knew for sometime did asked if she can be my partner when I am divorsed, but I rejected her. I knew beforehand that I will be lonely and if I accept her to be my partner, I know I am just making selfish decision becos I know I do not like her at all. But now, I am attracted to my maid instead. If I want to have another relationship, I can have it with the other girl, why should I have to trouble myself with my maid ? The reason is clear, I have naturally feelings to her(my maid)

Seriously, I am genuinely have a crush on her(my maid), and it is not becos of lust or to fill my emptiness in my heart.

Also, I am not here to ask for a team of cheer leaders to cheer me on my decision. I came here becos I know many experienced brothers will be able to give their fair opinion on my decision.

Right now, I am facing a path with two directions.
One -
Approach her and tell her about my feelings and in the same time try to be cautious with my words not to make her have any negative effect on her. If she accept my feelings, I will start a new life again with her slowly.
If she rejected me, I will accept it wholeheartedly and treat her as how I have been treating before as a maid.
Two -
Forget about asking her. Let it go on as normal. However, risking myself from having a love that I am seeking. A love that I appreciate and know that I cannot find in local girls. Seriously, she is indeed a special girl, truely a person who can really be a good partner in life.(Her virtue outweighs everything)

Ok. I will go on as normal for now and see the situation. If fate permits, I will blurt out my feelings to her. If not, it will remain as it is now. Me admiring her ... not from afar. But from just a few meters away.

Thanks.
xityc76

Reaper

27-03-2007, 01:43 PM

To Xcity76

You have been been through a rough time and you have finally picked yourself up (in most areas). Kudos to you for doing it, some people never make it up from the floor. For that you have my respect. Till this day i can never forgive that bitch who used me as a stepping stone. It is becuase of her that I share somewhat smiliar views regarding love with WilliamSexsphere

As mentioned by Williamsexsphere, U have already made up your mind on waht you want to do. U are only here to seek "support" and "justification" for what you have done and are about to do. Being comfortable with someone does not necessarily mean that you love them.

Comfortably and admiration does not necessarily equate to liking or loving someone. DId these "feelings" and "emotions" become more obvious after the divorce? if yes, than it pretty much says it all. I am sure you are a smart guy in knowing waht I am trying to say.

asking god for help shows that you are a religious person and I am sure you know the view of the church regarding the sanctamony of marriage. Can you leave through the rest of your life knowing you broke up another family for your own needs and be labelled as a bastard? (I am in no way insulting you by using that word, it is just how society generalises things).

As mentioned, You seek justification and support which I guess you have found. Whatever the consequences, know you have to live with it.

CHEERS

aman

27-03-2007, 07:38 PM

bro xityc76 my last worth to you.
God said....trials are not the reason to give up, but a challnge to improve ourselvs, dffculties are not an xcuse to backout.
But an inspration to move forward.
aman. cheers

spidey69

28-03-2007, 09:14 AM

Bro Xityc76,

all the apprehensions about whether to declare your love for her is

1) scare of rejection by her
2) scare of ruining cuurent master-maid relationship
3) scare she may leave you and your son if things goes out of hand..

Never did i hear u mentioned u are apprehensive becos u dun want to break up her and her husband :mad:

WELL-DONE bro!! u r a man capable of great things.. cos u r ruthless.. just like that f--ker that did not bother about u when having a fling with your ex-wife; also just like that f--ker that did the same to me. :mad:

If u do it, U would have allowed yourself to be one of those f--kers!! think about it.. but i guess like all bros here said, u have already decide what u want.. u should be so proud of it..

xityc76

28-03-2007, 09:33 AM

Dearest Brothers of Sammyboy Forum,

Thanks for your replies.

I do not belong to any religion and rather I live my life as a free thinker. No offense to all brother who are of any religion. I once attended Church Sermon before and I have indeed learnt many life theory over there. However, my faith is not strong to believe in religion.

Yes, at times I myself believe there is a being up there. I simply pray quietly that he may guide me on my life's decision. But I have also learnt that a Man's Destiny is shaped by him alone. I have to determine my life and I have to make my own decision. However this decision I am making is a tough one that is why I am here.

Anyway, I want to clarify that I am not a ruthless person which Spidey has mentioned. You see, the ONLY thing that holds me back is becos she is already married. If she is not married, I would have already told her everything about my feelings.

I bring back the quotes from my first post :
To make things worst, she is married in Philipines. However, from the years she has been here, she did not mention much about her husband. It seems she is not close to her husband. That is the only setback that holds me from telling her my feelings. I am both afraid of giving her a bad impression of me, and also I am afraid of stealing away someone's wife. But if she really wants to be with me, I am a person who treasure my love and I do not care about her status.

There, you see I did feel guilty of having such motive of wanting her. However, if I want to know more about her relationship between her and her husband. If they are ok and doing well. I am willingly not want to break their relationship. IT IS THE LAST THING I WILL WANT TO DO. I do not want someone else be like me and me being the nasty guy. I hope Spidey, I have made myself clear to you. We are both victim, and we know how it feels and we both knows that it is a code of conduct that we do not do that to others.

But, as mentioned above, if she is having difficulties with her husband in Philipines, I am most willing to take her in. From the signs of it, she does not call or mentioned about her husband. Unlike all the maids I have had before. They talked and call their husband very often. Furthermore, this maid of mine hasn't had any child yet with him. I am wondering what is wrong. I wanted to ask her. However, it is a sensitive questions to ask. Put yourself in my shoes.
The bottomline is that I will not steal her from him if she tells me that she is doing well with him.

Oh well. I have already drafted a quick and simply note to her. I just want to wait for a correct moment when I can pass the message to her.

Thanks.
Xityc76

duckrice

28-03-2007, 10:03 AM

Bro.. no one is in the right position to tell you that whether is it rite or wrong. Coz we ourselves or i am not in the whole picture itself.
By rite, U should ask yourself whether are u reali in love with her or u are just feeling lonely or maybe even puppy love?
If u reali feel that u reali love her and wish her as your life partner, go all out for it. It is vey hard to find someone that love you and also u reali love her.
If not, learn to let go. And do a clean one. Dun drag. It will cause harms and sadness to both parties.
Just my 2 cent..:) :)

etsys

29-03-2007, 12:00 AM

I dont know if you guys are really egging the person on. :eek: :eek:

There is more to what meets the eyes.

And, as I said in my previous post, my 2 cents: dont do it.

And dont complicate kindness with anything. If having sex completes the thinking that the relationship, it is wrong, in my own experience.

Coming to pinoys, Pinoys are really caring and good, and I can swear that a hundred times. I have seen few other women who are as caring as them. And dont confuse that with invitation for sex.

Last thing: I have come across maids, who get into bed with their boss, and start to abuse the kids, and such, which the blind man never see. The excuses are always covered up in the bed.

As for having problem with husband, I can show you a thousand girls from phil, who claims the same, to get into bed with a guy, and make the guy not feel guilty, and stabilise the position so that they can make more than enough returns. Who dont want a better life ?

Lastly, there is no divorce in Phil. So even if it is mad love really, you can never marry her. If you are out for sex, I dont have to tell you where to get it.

You sound like somebody i know who went through such case, and fell in love with a WL, and ended up with a lot of heart pain and a big hole in his bank balance.

Nothing further to say on this.

Do what is right and dont regret it.

My vote, if you are sincerely asking advice: DONT DO IT. If you do it, it is not my problem anyway, so I will not resort to cursing you or calling name.

Roger

aman

29-03-2007, 08:57 AM

But, as mentioned above, if she is having difficulties with her husband in Philipines, I am most willing to take her in. From the signs of it, she does not call or mentioned about her husband. Oh well. I have already drafted a quick and simply note to her. I just want to wait for a correct moment when I can pass the message to her.

Xityc76

Coming to pinoys, Pinoys are really caring and good, and I can swear that a hundred times. I have seen few other women who are as caring as them. And dont confuse that with invitation for sex.

As for having problem with husband, I can show you a thousand girls from phil, who claims the same, to get into bed with a guy, and make the guy not feel guilty, and stabilise the position so that they can make more than enough returns. Who dont want a better life ?

Lastly, there is no divorce in Phil. So even if it is mad love really, you can never marry her. If you are out for sex, I dont have to tell you where to get it.

You sound like somebody i know who went through such case, and fell in love with a WL, and ended up with a lot of heart pain and a big hole in his bank balance.

My vote, if you are sincerely asking advice: DONT DO IT. If you do it, it is not my problem anyway, so I will not resort to cursing you or calling name.

Roger

haha all pino all the same story blah blah(from all i meet), all got prob with husband,n waiting their wife to work n send $ back to them(dont care wat job they do here)nw there their husband NO work n FxxK arn.
when come to sex,pino gir are good in sex(me bonk alot) n bank A/C go dnw alot too... i got a pino gf for more then 3 yrs.end up she say cant divorce...n go back to her husband by that time i give her alot $ n a house there.....wat can i do bro.....kill her......LL.
bro think a thousand time..mah....:p

xityc76

29-03-2007, 11:27 AM

To brother etsys, you have my deepest gratitude in telling about the impossibilities of divorce in Philipines.

I went into the internet to check out further about Divorce and indeed Philipines has a reputation of no legal divorse according to their law. The only means is to "nullify the marriage" which is the only way to have her remarry.

My heart went deep down in the ocean after knowing the truth of it. I am so disappointed about the truth. This is really a great impact on me. I was at the peak of getting confidence to tell her when I know about this. Now, I am so dishearted in persuing her. Part of me still have faith in getting her. However, I asked myself, is it worth going through all the efforts to have her. In my eyes, maybe I am blinded by her charm, by her character and her personality. She is indeed someone whom I say hard to come by. She doesn't give me a false impression. Her character and personalities are genuine. She is one that I feel comfortable to be with.

After reading all the facts about Philipines law and their legal facts about marriage. I judged that the chances of marrying her(if she does want to be with me) are totally slim. Now, I am falling back to my seat and admit defeated in the attempt of wanting her.

I am a person who doesn't give up easily. But in this case. I am really, really sad. So sad that it is unimaginable. Why is it that I found love in a person whom now I see everyday and knowingly that it is impossible to get her. How irony life it can be. Does God bless me with this torture ? Oh well. With storms come rainbow.

Thanks to all Bro here for waking me up.

I guess this will be my last post in this forum. I do wish all of you well.

Thanks SammyBoy Forum.

Xityc76

Reaper

29-03-2007, 01:06 PM

Why is it that I found love in a person whom now I see everyday and knowingly that it is impossible to get her. How irony life it can be. Does God bless me with this torture ? Oh well. With storms come rainbow.

U not the only want, but at least you smart enuff to be opstimistic about the situation, not matter how though itis.......

CHEERS TO YOU!!!!!!!!

Soldatos

29-03-2007, 02:27 PM

I guess that sorts it out for him. Still don't really approve of messing around with the domestic help.

Berserk

03-04-2007, 10:21 AM

I guess that sorts it out for him. Still don't really approve of messing around with the domestic help.

Hi Threadstarter,

Follow yr heart. dun ever leave any room for regrets in the years to come.. u will defintely regret it. Heart matters cannot be settled in a rational way.. u just have to follow yr heart and express yrself clearly. whatever answers u have from her will give u a more steady feeling. at least u will know what to do next.

putera_mas8

03-04-2007, 10:34 AM

Bro, send her back and be done with... Wait till u r more stable then open your eyes. Lots more fish out there.

WillamSexsphere

03-04-2007, 10:48 AM

Hate to rub it in, but these are the facts:-

1. Seems like it's the divorce law that stopped you, not honour or integrity.

2. Emotionally, you may claim defeat in your rational mind, but in your heart, you can't...because the passion of love can NEVER be so easily dosed..that's why you write with pain in your heart expressed through your words.

Sympathy you will have in me, for i too know what is lingering pain. But that's another story.

What's more important is the reality that you need to understand fully before you make your next move. Thats why i listed the 2 facts out to you. In realizing harsh truths will lie the power to change our lives, whether for good ..or bad...lies in your destiny now, not only the life of yourself, but your relationship with your maid, and more important, your son - the most innocent party. Do not attempt anything rash.

My heart goes out to you, but you are not alone. Many men all over the world had been brought down by the pain inflicted thru loving someone, of an unrequitted love or an impossible love. We survived. And so will you. In time. Be strong, bro.

Cheers.:o

KLKOOL

03-04-2007, 12:13 PM

As long as you can live with your actions, good luck to you. No one here really can tell you what to do in life. :D What is wrong, what is rite, is all a matter of perceptions, circumstance and opinion. Cheers.

xityc76

16-04-2007, 04:30 PM

Hi people,

I thought I may have given up hope in persueing her, but I simply cannot take her off my mind.

Recently, I have asked her about her relationship with her husband ... and indeed I have guessed correctly that she is not having a good term with her husband ...

No, I am not thinking of just having sex with her. I planned to make her my life partner becos I felt the connection with her ...

Many of you have mentioned about maid finding their potential lover here. I mean permanent lover here, about marrying and settling here. So does any bro here have anyone who have married a Filipino maid before ? Or anyone has such experiences, please, please ...

I need someone to guide me. I wanted to marry my maid. Anyone has any guidance? Please help me.

I bowed my head as sincere thanks to those who read and can help me.

Thanks gratitude and thanks,
Xityc76

Guy_Smiley

02-11-2007, 02:45 AM

best bet for u to really know everything about marrying ur maid is through a maid agency. Go to anyone u dun intend to use and ask them all the bloody questions u can think about. There r so many singapore residents who married filipinos just to realise that their marriage is not recognised by singapore government. So if u r set on getting her to be ur wife, make damn sure its through the legitimate way and no other way. Thats all I can think of right now.

donnieboi

02-11-2007, 08:25 AM

I agree with bro etsys. i hv a pino gir b4, n she marry oso,but when she here with you ,she can do wat you want, when she back there happy with her husband...n she can tell you alot story.....just my 1 cent.

Wah...Bro... you many sexperience leh.... must learn from you liao!! When free for kopi? :D

aman

02-11-2007, 08:47 AM

Wah...Bro... you many sexperience leh.... must learn from you liao!! When free for kopi? :D

Bro, you also like pino gal dba!!!
sure when you free sms me..:)

zunbo

02-11-2007, 08:55 AM

we live once only if we dont try we never know n we let if bug us forever good luck :)

FL Lover

02-11-2007, 09:26 AM

Bro xcity76c,

Interesting postings from you. I would like to share my thoughts on this.

I have came across a friend who is in the same situation as you. He and his wife are divorced and living apart. He had a maid who is taking care of him and his kids since long time. He discovered that he like the maid and the maid like him.... the normal bf relationshiips but still maintains the maid and employer relationship in the eyes of singapore law.

The best part when I ask him since he like the maid, why dont he married her?

1) His reply is that Singapore government does not recognize any MARRIAGE with anyone holding work permit. He needs approval from mom to do that. AND IT IS GOING TO BE DIFFICULT TO GET ONE.

2) Secondly, he is worried. His maid is married and he worried that the maid might not want to be 100% commited to him as she needs to return back to her hubby back in pino.

3) Thirdly, we are talking about FINANICALLY COMMITEMENT. He is worried that he might not be able to share the burden alone without her working.

4) Lastly, all maids in singapore have a grace period as to how long she can stay. The employer had to renew her permit once it is expired and sometimes the permit renewal might not be renew.

Bro xcity76c, are you around the age of 30+? There is lots of temptations around that age range. I am around that range btw. U have just divorced. U r in a loss and wanted to focus your attention to others. Your maid is with you for quite some times. Naturally your attention is focus to her as she is hardworking, takes care of the kids.. blah blah...

Bro, being in love is one thing. But to get commitement with someone u hardly know except that you and her is just a employer and employee relationship... u r taking a big RISK. Some bros might tell to try out the relationship, I disagreed. Why do you need to go into such relationships when there are so many uncertainites?

Just my thoughts anyway. When pple are in love, it is difficult to relationale. Only "OUTSIDERS" are able to see the picture more clearly. :)

chickenzip

02-11-2007, 09:42 AM

For an intro, I have recently been divorsed. It is not me who had adultery, but it was my ex-wife who did it.

My maid has been with me for the past two years.

Hi bro,

From what i have read, i think you do not really need your maid. It was most probably that you have lost someone close to you and you need something else to sub for this lost. And that's why your maid came into the pic.

wrong or not, i wish you all the best in whatever you undertake...

hubber28

02-11-2007, 10:38 AM

Its has been so long since Bro xityc76 login and post. I wonder how is he doing now?

Nah, my purpose of this post is the let him my point of view. If he ever see this post lah. :o

Being a leader or whatever status you are in, I still feel that you have to see yourself in your son's shoes and your parents and sibilings. What ever you do, protecting and good upbring of your present son is the most important. WHatever fuckshit feeling you had is all crap but the fact remains that how will your son see this if you ever marry your maid or what will happened to your son? Your ex-wife fights for custody when you marry the maid or what. Who knows? Yourself a favour, see your son or close relatives as your piority. Nothing is more precious and important than "Ching Qing" aka father-son relationship.

etsys

11-11-2007, 04:00 AM

Having been mia for a while, I was surprised this thread was alive.. he he ...

Anyway, to add 2 cents ...

Bro xcity76c,
1) His reply is that Singapore government does not recognize any MARRIAGE with anyone holding work permit. He needs approval from mom to do that. AND IT IS GOING TO BE DIFFICULT TO GET ONE.

The latest trend is ICA is not allowing maid permit holders to get even social visa.

They get a ban for upto 2 years or more, even with all the power pull, unlesss ... (dont quote me .. cos I am not with ICA) she stand a chance if she is graduate and can prove she can earn her keep ..

Roger

tamtam

11-11-2007, 12:09 PM

Hi Bro,

Don't do it, because not only you need to get her to divoice her husband, which is difficult or impossible due to phliippine law. You also need to check out with our MOM/ICA with regards to marriage.

I have a ex campmate whom went ahead to marry her maid, get into trouble with the authority here, she was send back and not allow to gain entry to SG, so my poor friend had to make regular trip oversea just to meet up with her, he even went to the extend to approach TCS talkshow with regards to his situation, which was then "air" on national TV some sometime back here.

Look elsewhere, i believe with enough time and effort, you will find your true love, let go of the past relationship, and seek ahead....

I know how you feel at home, my maid is also very pretty and busty, also can't take my eyes off her when she was doing house work, i think she knew i was staring at her, but i just kept my lines and distance....

Glad her contract is due soon, and i had no intention of keeping her further, i'm just worry myself, as sometime we do stared at each other in the eyes, and thinks may go out of hand...

Just don't do it, or risk appearring in newpaper....

Best regards

Red_Tirak1099

11-11-2007, 12:21 PM

If you love her & want to be with her then jus let her remain here on her maid work permit.....let the govt make the maid levy no chioce....marriage cert is jus a piece of paper. No need complicate things up.
She got husband in Pino? Not easy to divorce in Pino due to Catholic laws, so maybe jus pay him off....these Pino men who let wives come here work as maid 90% keep mistresses themselves.

Thamtham

11-11-2007, 02:04 PM