Affair with A Japanese Lady. What should I do?

[Nelsonlim]

First time posting a thread on sbf. Have been wanting to get this off my chest and see if other bros have had similar experience or can share their opinion.

Background. I’m in my mid 30s, married with 3 kids. I have a happy family with my wife. About 4 years ago I stumbled onto sbf and started chionging, having tried locals and foreigners from the various stables here. Reason for chionging was out of curiosity and seeking excitement in the bedroom. However all the chionging, though they were physically stimulating, still couldn’t satisfy me. 1 year ago I created a dating app account and matched with a Japanese lady. We continued to see each other for a year until we broke off, but still occasionally text each other, with the most recent text from her wishing me being happy new year 2024.

About the lady. She is Japanese, in her early 30s. Smart, pretty, slim, demure and classy. She speaks Japanese and English. She was going through a divorce (finally settled the divorce in end 2023) with her husband in Japan. She claimed that she divorced her husband as he was an alcoholic. She had relocated to SG in early 2022 with her 3 children to start afresh. She found a job in the finance sector working in the CBD area in end 2022.

She had her wild days in uni. After she found out that her bf cheated on her in uni, she started to sleep around with many guys (all of whom were foreigners (white-men)) for about 2 years. She finally decided to stop when she matched with a guy (also a white man) on a dating app and they dated for a few months before they broke up. She started working in the finance sector in Japan, where she later met and married her then-husband (Japanese), with whom they had 3 children.

After she and I matched on the dating app, we met for the first time and immediately clicked. She knew that I was married. We went on for more dates. I was attracted to her physically, emotionally and mentally.

The first time we ever had sex was in my car. It was my first time doing it in the car. I don’t know if it is generalization of Japanese women or just her, but her body was simply amazing. I have had my share of chionging many girls but she is simply the best by far. Perhaps it was also the emotions and deep conversations that we shared other than the physical act. Her body was perfect to me. She has such a slim waist, b cup boobs, small perky nipples, smooth skin all over, delicate fingers and toes, large eyes, thick black hair, fine facial features, and very demure as you would imagine a Japanese woman is. Her sex skills are out of this world. She is very very very wet down there, easily squirts when I rub my penis against her pussy. I have to prepare lots of tissue whenever we have sex in my car. Despite her wild days in uni, her pussy looks as though she is a virgin. She mutters out “kimochi” and other Japanese terms when we do it. She lets me cum in her mouth. She is everything you see in Japanese AV videos. All sorts of positions. In missionary position she looks at me with her large innocent eyes and puts her hand at her mouth. She asks me to choke her sometimes. In doggy she asks me to hold her hand and pump her hard. After first round of sex and resting, she eats my dick to make me hard for sex again. The maximum sex we had in a day was 6 times in a hotel.

One of the kinkiest sex we had was in the backseat of my car, with her 1.5 year old daughter seated in the front passenger seat. Another time was in her house in her bedroom, with the same daughter clapping us on as we passionately made love.

Sex was her was crazy good. And I guess that was the main reason I continued to take the risk to see her, despite her character flaws. She was needy sometimes, yet other times she would take a long time to reply messages. She asked questions about my wife and I and would be disturbed by it. I understood her anguish as she wanted me to herself. She didn’t want me to divorce my wife and accepted this fact. She just wanted to spend time with me instead of with my family.

Afterwards, we broke off. One month after the break up, she texted me again all of a sudden. We began to meet again, but broke off again. Later I texted her and we started to meet again. But broke off, again. It was a final break for about 2 months. When she texted me suddenly. We met again. Incidentally, I found out that she was already seeing another guy. We then broke up because I told her to focus on the guy and I would do the same with my family. I was guessing that she was sleeping with the guy but wanted me around as a back up. She said it was only fair that she could do what I was doing. Meaning she could see other people while I enjoyed the company of my wife and her. Then one day, during New Year’s Day, she texted me happy new year. I replied her back and that was it.

What do you guys think? I really crave for sex with her because no other girl I have tried on sbf can match her, not even close. If I were to rekindle with her, it would only be just for sex. Isn’t this kind of arrangement like an open relationship, meaning she see other guys including me? Even though she says it’s only me. But I highly doubt it. She has even gone overseas with that guy. I am guessing they broke up. But who knows they will patch up again given her volatile dating history. But the feeling and knowledge of her being close to other guys just pains me so much. And I don’t want to share my body with other guys. She often shares with me her she gets picked up by men in the streets, by uncles, by younger men, her colleagues. In the other hand I’m tried of her extreme mood swings and disrespectful attitude towards me just becuase I’m married. I acknowledge that I’m wrong too. So I’m ready to just give her up and stop everything we had. The images of having intimate times with her still lingers in my head but seeing her is risky too, that I lose my family and reputation.

[RiverStyx]

Had one of those, great good sex, terrible temperament and attitude, but very sweet and endearing when in the mood.

The exhaustion after one of those mood swings just not worth it.
The mood swings is not due to not having you, it is her nature.
Things will only get worse.

Hands off before the burn happens.

[Laker]

First time posting a thread on sbf. Have been wanting to get this off my chest and see if other bros have had similar experience or can share their opinion.

Background. I’m in my mid 30s, married with 3 kids. I have a happy family with my wife. About 4 years ago I stumbled onto sbf and started chionging, having tried locals and foreigners from the various stables here. Reason for chionging was out of curiosity and seeking excitement in the bedroom. However all the chionging, though they were physically stimulating, still couldn’t satisfy me. 1 year ago I created a dating app account and matched with a Japanese lady. We continued to see each other for a year until we broke off, but still occasionally text each other, with the most recent text from her wishing me being happy new year 2024.

About the lady. She is Japanese, in her early 30s. Smart, pretty, slim, demure and classy. She speaks Japanese and English. She was going through a divorce (finally settled the divorce in end 2023) with her husband in Japan. She claimed that she divorced her husband as he was an alcoholic. She had relocated to SG in early 2022 with her 3 children to start afresh. She found a job in the finance sector working in the CBD area in end 2022.

She had her wild days in uni. After she found out that her bf cheated on her in uni, she started to sleep around with many guys (all of whom were foreigners (white-men)) for about 2 years. She finally decided to stop when she matched with a guy (also a white man) on a dating app and they dated for a few months before they broke up. She started working in the finance sector in Japan, where she later met and married her then-husband (Japanese), with whom they had 3 children.

After she and I matched on the dating app, we met for the first time and immediately clicked. She knew that I was married. We went on for more dates. I was attracted to her physically, emotionally and mentally.

The first time we ever had sex was in my car. It was my first time doing it in the car. I don’t know if it is generalization of Japanese women or just her, but her body was simply amazing. I have had my share of chionging many girls but she is simply the best by far. Perhaps it was also the emotions and deep conversations that we shared other than the physical act. Her body was perfect to me. She has such a slim waist, b cup boobs, small perky nipples, smooth skin all over, delicate fingers and toes, large eyes, thick black hair, fine facial features, and very demure as you would imagine a Japanese woman is. Her sex skills are out of this world. She is very very very wet down there, easily squirts when I rub my penis against her pussy. I have to prepare lots of tissue whenever we have sex in my car. Despite her wild days in uni, her pussy looks as though she is a virgin. She mutters out “kimochi” and other Japanese terms when we do it. She lets me cum in her mouth. She is everything you see in Japanese AV videos. All sorts of positions. In missionary position she looks at me with her large innocent eyes and puts her hand at her mouth. She asks me to choke her sometimes. In doggy she asks me to hold her hand and pump her hard. After first round of sex and resting, she eats my dick to make me hard for sex again. The maximum sex we had in a day was 6 times in a hotel.

One of the kinkiest sex we had was in the backseat of my car, with her 1.5 year old daughter seated in the front passenger seat. Another time was in her house in her bedroom, with the same daughter clapping us on as we passionately made love.

Sex was her was crazy good. And I guess that was the main reason I continued to take the risk to see her, despite her character flaws. She was needy sometimes, yet other times she would take a long time to reply messages. She asked questions about my wife and I and would be disturbed by it. I understood her anguish as she wanted me to herself. She didn’t want me to divorce my wife and accepted this fact. She just wanted to spend time with me instead of with my family.

Afterwards, we broke off. One month after the break up, she texted me again all of a sudden. We began to meet again, but broke off again. Later I texted her and we started to meet again. But broke off, again. It was a final break for about 2 months. When she texted me suddenly. We met again. Incidentally, I found out that she was already seeing another guy. We then broke up because I told her to focus on the guy and I would do the same with my family. I was guessing that she was sleeping with the guy but wanted me around as a back up. She said it was only fair that she could do what I was doing. Meaning she could see other people while I enjoyed the company of my wife and her. Then one day, during New Year’s Day, she texted me happy new year. I replied her back and that was it.

What do you guys think? I really crave for sex with her because no other girl I have tried on sbf can match her, not even close. If I were to rekindle with her, it would only be just for sex. Isn’t this kind of arrangement like an open relationship, meaning she see other guys including me? Even though she says it’s only me. But I highly doubt it. She has even gone overseas with that guy. I am guessing they broke up. But who knows they will patch up again given her volatile dating history. But the feeling and knowledge of her being close to other guys just pains me so much. And I don’t want to share my body with other guys. She often shares with me her she gets picked up by men in the streets, by uncles, by younger men, her colleagues. In the other hand I’m tried of her extreme mood swings and disrespectful attitude towards me just becuase I’m married. I acknowledge that I’m wrong too. So I’m ready to just give her up and stop everything we had. The images of having intimate times with her still lingers in my head but seeing her is risky too, that I lose my family and reputation.

Bro, what you just said is a "fomo" mindset. Fear Of Missing Out . You don't want to miss this because you are going through one of the best experiences in your life with her.

Your small head is taking over now. Even if someone advice you to leave her, I doubt you will listen.

I suggest you focus on your kids and family unless you want get yourself into a situation which you drift away from them.

However, if you can still balance your time with her and your family, by all means continue. Bear in mind you are asking the question here because you are not spending enough time with her. She is human and needs affection. I don't think you 2 will last. (I don't think you will leave your family for her right?)

Last but not least. Since this is SBF, I am sure people will ask you for contacts. Good luck!

[thisisme]

Bro, I was in the same situation before.
But I chose to gave up because I can’t keep up with her ‘swing’.
We had great times together for more than 10 yrs.
broke off and patch back many times. I think the sex is the only thing that brings us back together. But after sometimes, she started her mood again.
Then stop seeing each other, then back again have sex. Then again and again.
In the end, I finally gave up.
I think I have better things to do elsewhere.
Cheers 👍

[bpafree39]

Bro forgive me for being frank, but I think you already have the answer.

[MDZY85]

You are the envy of many here to taste such a hot lady but the after taste is not that sweet after all. Too much emotional aftershock, if you just need assurance for us here, I guess many would tell u to cut off from her.

[ahdee]

The question is not what should you do.. but what do you wanna do?
Was on a similar boat but also sink and didn’t reach the shore. Like many bros say, you already have the answer.

[Nelsonlim]

I think you are right, that it is in her nature. It could be due to her upbringing and family issues. I won’t say much about her family to keep her identity a secret. Like you said, it is indeed very exhausting. She did mention to keep things simple, meaning no emotions involved, just physical sex. But I don’t think I want to be involved with her flings with other men. Thanks.

Had one of those, great good sex, terrible temperament and attitude, but very sweet and endearing when in the mood.

The exhaustion after one of those mood swings just not worth it.
The mood swings is not due to not having you, it is her nature.
Things will only get worse.

Hands off before the burn happens.

[crazymani]

So in the app, you are looking for? a fling? or?

I mean does she knows that you are married when you guys matched up in the app? Is she looking for any guy to date or? or just a fling?

[Nelsonlim]

Yes. I should focus on my own family as we are happy and contented. The Japanese lady doesnt expect me to leave my family for her. She just wants to spend more time together, which is hard to do so especially on weekends. Yes I don’t think she and I will last, just wondering if I shioild end now or see how long we can go, or is it even worth the effort. Thanks.

Bro, what you just said is a "fomo" mindset. Fear Of Missing Out . You don't want to miss this because you are going through one of the best experiences in your life with her.

Your small head is taking over now. Even if someone advice you to leave her, I doubt you will listen.

I suggest you focus on your kids and family unless you want get yourself into a situation which you drift away from them.

However, if you can still balance your time with her and your family, by all means continue. Bear in mind you are asking the question here because you are not spending enough time with her. She is human and needs affection. I don't think you 2 will last. (I don't think you will leave your family for her right?)

Last but not least. Since this is SBF, I am sure people will ask you for contacts. Good luck!

[Nelsonlim]

I think ultimately just looking for a fling, see who I meet and see how it goes from there. I never expected how things would turn out with this Japanese lady, just see how it goes. For her, she told me before that she isn’t looking for someone to marry, just someone to love her and keep her company. She claims she doesn’t want to go back to her past where she had flings in uni, but I’m not certain about that.

So in the app, you are looking for? a fling? or?

I mean does she knows that you are married when you guys matched up in the app? Is she looking for any guy to date or? or just a fling?

[Nelsonlim]

Yes I understand that it is rare to meet such a fine lady. I probably won’t have much chance to meet someone like her again. But I’m just wondering to enjoy it while it last or end it immediately. The effort is just too tiring.

You are the envy of many here to taste such a hot lady but the after taste is not that sweet after all. Too much emotional aftershock, if you just need assurance for us here, I guess many would tell u to cut off from her.

[Nelsonlim]

Wow 10 years is a long time. The only reason I’m contemplating is because sex with her is too good. I don’t get to have raw sex with other gals on sbf (I’ve stopped since meeting her), and have that emotional connection with flings. She isn’t materialistic like other sugar babies I’ve met.

Bro, I was in the same situation before.
But I chose to gave up because I can’t keep up with her ‘swing’.
We had great times together for more than 10 yrs.
broke off and patch back many times. I think the sex is the only thing that brings us back together. But after sometimes, she started her mood again.
Then stop seeing each other, then back again have sex. Then again and again.
In the end, I finally gave up.
I think I have better things to do elsewhere.
Cheers 👍

[Millenium]

But I’m just wondering to enjoy it while it last or end it immediately. The effort is just too tiring.

That is your answer :)

[MachX]

You already had it.

You have nothing to lose if you end it now, but a lot to risk if it goes on.
You're not only married but also with kids.

[thor1981]

Bro it is ultimately upto your feeling from the relationship and whether you can manage your mindset to make it worthwhile for you.

If you can view her as just a piece of meat that you can enjoy within your schedule than why not. Just manage your raw fuck sessions to enjoy her trophy Jap pussy and body around your family and other schedule.

But if you cannot handle the idea that your fine piece of meat fucks other men then have 2 clear choice .. end it now or tell her you wish to be exclusive FB's and see her response.

Having fucked a few Jap ladies over the years, the hot ones always have options, and they manage their other fuck friend dates like an appointment schedule. This stops when you reach BF status, and her 3 holes are for your exclusive use.

One lovely Jap wife who I met with her daughters dated me for 2 years. But due to pandemic, our status changed a bit (long story) from BF to fuck friends. After that I discovered she was pounding her chikopek dance teacher for her daughter who coincidentally is a friend of mine (another long story). Knowing the filthy things she did with me (best sex of my life) I could not imagine her doing the same with this other guy, so I ended it totally for peace of mind.

Hopefully my humble experience is helpful ;)

[ToCumCum]

Bro congrats. Use her while you can. Just remember that she's not yours, it's just your turn.

[Laker]

Bro it is ultimately upto your feeling from the relationship and whether you can manage your mindset to make it worthwhile for you.

If you can view her as just a piece of meat that you can enjoy within your schedule than why not. Just manage your raw fuck sessions to enjoy her trophy Jap pussy and body around your family and other schedule.

But if you cannot handle the idea that your fine piece of meat fucks other men then have 2 clear choice .. end it now or tell her you wish to be exclusive FB's and see her response.

Having fucked a few Jap ladies over the years, the hot ones always have options, and they manage their other fuck friend dates like an appointment schedule. This stops when you reach BF status, and her 3 holes are for your exclusive use.

One lovely Jap wife who I met with her daughters dated me for 2 years. But due to pandemic, our status changed a bit (long story) from BF to fuck friends. After that I discovered she was pounding her chikopek dance teacher for her daughter who coincidentally is a friend of mine (another long story). Knowing the filthy things she did with me (best sex of my life) I could not imagine her doing the same with this other guy, so I ended it totally for peace of mind.

Hopefully my humble experience is helpful ;)

Met in Sg or Hk? From my experience they see Sg and Hk as the same. However these few years more sending their wives as PDMM and kids to international sch here to get exposure to English.

I have also heard some of them is sent here because the husband and wife cannot get along. Want to divorce also cannot because of different factors such as kids and parents' expectations. Happened to one of my acquaintances who confided in me about their marital "crisis".

[Nelsonlim]

What I think I will lose is the amazing sex which I never get from my wife. My wife and I still have sex. Just that with the Japanese lady it is out of this world. Some examples:
- Her pussy is extremely tight and wet. I’ve bedded many girls (from sbf, sugar babies, locals, foreigners), and none of them come close to her wetness and tightness. She needs to wear sanitary pad even on normal days because she gets wet down there.
- Having sex with her is like being in those Japanese AV movies. Submissive, demure, angelic on the outside but sex machine behind closed doors. And I get to do it free of charge, many times. It’s so crazy good that I’ve stopped visiting stables here because none can give an equal or similar experience.
- Her sex drive and skills are superb. Sometimes I can’t cum with other gals but she manages to make me cum so many times in a day when we meet in a hotel.
- She initiates to bj me in the car while I drive without me asking. Her bj skills are crazy good. She knows how to use her tongue and hands.
- She shares her daily life with me, work, family, etc.
- Her body is amazing. Slim waist that you can grab almost entirely with both hands, round perky ass, nicely shaped firm b cup breasts, tiny erect nipples, very soft and smooth skin all over her body. She goes to laser away her hair. White pearly and straight teeth. Long black thick hair which is neatly kept like most Japanese. Her fingers and toes are so slender.
- Her expression during sex is so innocent, in pain yet enjoying it.
- Her favorite position is doggy and she likes me to be very rough. She rides well and can keep going on and on on top when I’m tired.
- She whispers into my ears when in missionary. She screams and moans and covers her mouth with her hand. Words like “I love you”, “Kimochi”, “you are going to make me pregnant”, “f*ck me”, “harder”, “you’re so hard”, “am I better than your wife”, “I only want you to “f*ck me”, “can I suck your c*ck”, “I want you inside of me”, “cum in my mouth”, “I want to have your baby”, “do you love me”, etc.

Like another bro said, I’m afraid to lose out on the sex part if I let go of her. Perhaps if I just accept her proposal and be f*ck buddies, no strings attached, while she continues to see other guys, though she says she only sees me.

You already had it.

You have nothing to lose if you end it now, but a lot to risk if it goes on.
You're not only married but also with kids.

[Nelsonlim]

Thanks for sharing your experience.

It is hard for me currently as emotions and lust clouding are my judgement.

What about just being friends with the Japanese lady? We have tried before but often times either both of us just gravitate towards each other and we end up being intimate and hurting each other afterwards.

I can’t wrap my head around it, not that it applies to all Japanese women, but why do they sleep around? I understand men in general do it for physical pleasure, but don’t most women need something like an emotional connection? I know her standards are high and is very picky. And like you said she knows that she is a good catch so she has many options to choose from. But after some time, won’t they feel that men are just making use of her body?

She claims that she is only doing what I’m doing, that is I’m sleeping with my wife and going overseas with her. But I don’t think it is the same because I don’t go around, make the effort to meet new and different people to have sex.

In the latest episode where I confronted her on having sex with another guy, she initially said why can’t she do it, but a few days later she changes her story and says she never f*cked any guy. But her later story and her initial explanation don’t match. At first she took full day leave, later she said she took half day leave, or she was with her kids, but later said she was with her colleagues, etc. I can only guess that she broke up with this guy and wants me back. Like you said, I can’t bear myself to imagine all the intimate moments we shared, she shared with some other people. And now barely a month with a new guy, she wants me back. So for a peace of mind I should just leave her to her own business. Or just accept that I’m one of her f*ck buddies? I find it hard to believe that those sweet nothings that she muttered to me while we make love are said to other men. Feel so betrayed.

How did you meet so many Japanese ladies?

Bro it is ultimately upto your feeling from the relationship and whether you can manage your mindset to make it worthwhile for you.

If you can view her as just a piece of meat that you can enjoy within your schedule than why not. Just manage your raw fuck sessions to enjoy her trophy Jap pussy and body around your family and other schedule.

But if you cannot handle the idea that your fine piece of meat fucks other men then have 2 clear choice .. end it now or tell her you wish to be exclusive FB's and see her response.

Having fucked a few Jap ladies over the years, the hot ones always have options, and they manage their other fuck friend dates like an appointment schedule. This stops when you reach BF status, and her 3 holes are for your exclusive use.

One lovely Jap wife who I met with her daughters dated me for 2 years. But due to pandemic, our status changed a bit (long story) from BF to fuck friends. After that I discovered she was pounding her chikopek dance teacher for her daughter who coincidentally is a friend of mine (another long story). Knowing the filthy things she did with me (best sex of my life) I could not imagine her doing the same with this other guy, so I ended it totally for peace of mind.

Hopefully my humble experience is helpful ;)

[secretlurker88]

My take:

you had your fun.
Crazy girls give the best sex. But they will come and bite you when not having sex, and that bite is not worth it. You got 3 kids. A wife.

If your wife finds out, she will then go and fuck other guys for revenge...and before and after that happens, she will go through alot emotionally and mentally, thinking why this happened to her. Can you imagine and live through that?

if not, just close the chapter. Say goodbye to her in your mind. Block and move on. Cut contact.

The fun is over.

[Whazzzup]

A game of one upmanship, but you are the only one with stakes in it.
And she plays by her own rules.

[thor1981]

Met in Sg or Hk? From my experience they see Sg and Hk as the same. However these few years more sending their wives as PDMM and kids to international sch here to get exposure to English.

I have also heard some of them is sent here because the husband and wife cannot get along. Want to divorce also cannot because of different factors such as kids and parents' expectations. Happened to one of my acquaintances who confided in me about their marital "crisis".

both sg and hk. sg more via introductions, hk via work settings. a lot in these categories u describe.

what is PDMM?

[thor1981]

Thanks for sharing your experience.

It is hard for me currently as emotions and lust clouding are my judgement.

What about just being friends with the Japanese lady? We have tried before but often times either both of us just gravitate towards each other and we end up being intimate and hurting each other afterwards.

I can’t wrap my head around it, not that it applies to all Japanese women, but why do they sleep around? I understand men in general do it for physical pleasure, but don’t most women need something like an emotional connection? I know her standards are high and is very picky. And like you said she knows that she is a good catch so she has many options to choose from. But after some time, won’t they feel that men are just making use of her body?

She claims that she is only doing what I’m doing, that is I’m sleeping with my wife and going overseas with her. But I don’t think it is the same because I don’t go around, make the effort to meet new and different people to have sex.

In the latest episode where I confronted her on having sex with another guy, she initially said why can’t she do it, but a few days later she changes her story and says she never f*cked any guy. But her later story and her initial explanation don’t match. At first she took full day leave, later she said she took half day leave, or she was with her kids, but later said she was with her colleagues, etc. I can only guess that she broke up with this guy and wants me back. Like you said, I can’t bear myself to imagine all the intimate moments we shared, she shared with some other people. And now barely a month with a new guy, she wants me back. So for a peace of mind I should just leave her to her own business. Or just accept that I’m one of her f*ck buddies? I find it hard to believe that those sweet nothings that she muttered to me while we make love are said to other men. Feel so betrayed.

How did you meet so many Japanese ladies?


my work is in events, my client represents many japanese homeware brands in asia, so when i put on the marketing events (before pandemic), many housewives attend, and i'm on hand to exch contacts :D i also attended japanese language classes in malaysia (my father worked fr a jpn company there) so i speak the langauge, easier to pick up.

[geckoSG]

Waiting for your AV movie to be published bro. :D;)

[Laker]

both sg and hk. sg more via introductions, hk via work settings. a lot in these categories u describe.

what is PDMM?

PDMM is pei du ma ma. Usually refers to motherrs here due to children attending school.

[atom_nova]

Bro, similar experience as you. Currently trying to forget about her and spend time with family. Deep down you know you won't give up your family for her, and all the emotions, able to click, being each other soul mate thingy is just too late, timing just isn't right.

The only thing, only correct thing, is just to focus on your family and try to forget/ bury your feelings away. Its not easy but still have to do it. I'm in the same phase right now. All the best brother!

[Nelsonlim]

Unfortunately no videos, though it did come across my mind. We didn’t even take a photo together to minimize the risk of being found out by my wife. Sadly only can playback in my head.

Waiting for your AV movie to be published bro. :D;)

[Nelsonlim]

You are right. I think from the general advice I’ve received here, I know what to do already. I told myself, if I don’t consider her sex and external looks, would I still stay in this arrangement. And the answer is a clear no. No matter how good the sex is, it will eventually fade away if we keep hurting each other. So I will wish her all the best, stop everything with her, and do the right thing, that is to focus on my wife and family.

Sorry to hear about your situation. All the best to you too.

Bro, similar experience as you. Currently trying to forget about her and spend time with family. Deep down you know you won't give up your family for her, and all the emotions, able to click, being each other soul mate thingy is just too late, timing just isn't right.

The only thing, only correct thing, is just to focus on your family and try to forget/ bury your feelings away. Its not easy but still have to do it. I'm in the same phase right now. All the best brother!

[Nelsonlim]

At one point in time I really did contemplate to leave my family and take care of the Japanese lady and her children. But looking back I feel so silly and selfish. How can I leave my own flesh and blood, my children will hate me forever, and it is completely unfair to my wife. I’m glad I am over this phase as later on I find too many character incompatibility with the Japanese lady, and that I can never be fully trustful of her due to her wild past. Yes, time to move on. Thanks.

My take:

you had your fun.
Crazy girls give the best sex. But they will come and bite you when not having sex, and that bite is not worth it. You got 3 kids. A wife.

If your wife finds out, she will then go and fuck other guys for revenge...and before and after that happens, she will go through alot emotionally and mentally, thinking why this happened to her. Can you imagine and live through that?

if not, just close the chapter. Say goodbye to her in your mind. Block and move on. Cut contact.

The fun is over.

[WinterMelonTree]

Thanks for sharing your experience.

It is hard for me currently as emotions and lust clouding are my judgement.

What about just being friends with the Japanese lady? We have tried before but often times either both of us just gravitate towards each other and we end up being intimate and hurting each other afterwards.

I can’t wrap my head around it, not that it applies to all Japanese women, but why do they sleep around? I understand men in general do it for physical pleasure, but don’t most women need something like an emotional connection? I know her standards are high and is very picky. And like you said she knows that she is a good catch so she has many options to choose from. But after some time, won’t they feel that men are just making use of her body?

She claims that she is only doing what I’m doing, that is I’m sleeping with my wife and going overseas with her. But I don’t think it is the same because I don’t go around, make the effort to meet new and different people to have sex.

In the latest episode where I confronted her on having sex with another guy, she initially said why can’t she do it, but a few days later she changes her story and says she never f*cked any guy. But her later story and her initial explanation don’t match. At first she took full day leave, later she said she took half day leave, or she was with her kids, but later said she was with her colleagues, etc. I can only guess that she broke up with this guy and wants me back. Like you said, I can’t bear myself to imagine all the intimate moments we shared, she shared with some other people. And now barely a month with a new guy, she wants me back. So for a peace of mind I should just leave her to her own business. Or just accept that I’m one of her f*ck buddies? I find it hard to believe that those sweet nothings that she muttered to me while we make love are said to other men. Feel so betrayed.

How did you meet so many Japanese ladies?

therein lies your lack of understanding with women. or to be specific, attractive women. and in-born misogynistic values of -> man can fuck around for pleasure but if a woman does it, she must have been tricked into it.

The truth is beautiful people (both man and woman) have no lack of top-tiered suitors and delicious opportunities. all they have to do is to be open minded (socially acceptable word for promiscuous) and they will be swimming in sexual encounters.

The day you can separate play as play and reality as reality, is the day you become a real chiongster.

imagine if you're attractive enough to be invited into an orgy or a swing. and there is that chance to fuck 6 - 8 girls in a night. are you going to question their life choices? their promiscuity? their decisions leading to this? their jobs? their identities?

NO! you are there to pleasure and be pleasured. thats it. why break your head pondering?

the sex captivated you because of the whole jav allure and because you're new to playing. but a short flight to the good clubs of yoshiwara or any of the good on calls and you'll forget her in an instance.

[thor1981]

PDMM is pei du ma ma. Usually refers to motherrs here due to children attending school.

ah! study mama leh .. some good PRC mamas in this department but that is for another thread :D. yes many jap PDMM around too.

[Entity]

Unfortunately no videos, though it did come across my mind. We didn’t even take a photo together to minimize the risk of being found out by my wife. Sadly only can playback in my head.

Well, if you ever do meet up again, maybe a last fling, just put on voice or sound recording if she does not allow vids.
I do that sometimes to reminisce when the vocals are particularly nice :p

[Nelsonlim]

therein lies your lack of understanding with women. or to be specific, attractive women. and in-born misogynistic values of -> man can fuck around for pleasure but if a woman does it, she must have been tricked into it.

The truth is beautiful people (both man and woman) have no lack of top-tiered suitors and delicious opportunities. all they have to do is to be open minded (socially acceptable word for promiscuous) and they will be swimming in sexual encounters.

The day you can separate play as play and reality as reality, is the day you become a real chiongster.

imagine if you're attractive enough to be invited into an orgy or a swing. and there is that chance to fuck 6 - 8 girls in a night. are you going to question their life choices? their promiscuity? their decisions leading to this? their jobs? their identities?

NO! you are there to pleasure and be pleasured. thats it. why break your head pondering?

the sex captivated you because of the whole jav allure and because you're new to playing. but a short flight to the good clubs of yoshiwara or any of the good on calls and you'll forget her in an instance.

Thanks for your insight. I’m not inferring that women who sleep around do so because they get tricked into. I believe that most women, whether attractive or not, choose carefully who they want to be intimate with, usually looking at more than physical attributes, unlike most men who will jump at the opportunity when presented to them.

Yes attractive people naturally get more attention. No doubt about that.

I have no interest and do not question the intentions of girls who offer services through sbf, sugar babies, etc., I’m sure that have their reasons to do what they do and are free to do so within legal means. It is mutually beneficial to both parties in an agreed arrangement so that is fine.

I once had an arrangement with an attractive girl. She was an ex sia cabin crew and now a property agent. She shared that she had been invited and attended orgies on yachts and masked orgies in private homes. Everyone would be drunk and f*cking around with whoever they like. Rich men pay, attractive ladies get paid. She had completely left those wild days behind because she said money can be earned in many ways, but some ways are demeaning and she would not subject herself to those experiences again.

I think I won’t be a suitable chiongster in your definition because I for one will not accept an invitation to an orgy. I prefer private and intimate spaces with someone where both have developed a liking for each over time. This process takes more effort but in my limited experience, the satisfaction derived is many times more pleasurable than a one-off sex encounter with a stranger or paid service.

That’s why I think I’ve been disillusioned by this Japanese lady. I initially chose to believe that she really did like me but I was too foolish to accept the truth, that is she opens her heart easily to other men. Admittedly I’m at fault too becuase I cannot commit 100% to her since I’m married. I’m fine with her decision, she can do what she pleases, but I have decided to stay out of her business.

[Penguin23]

Thanks for your insight. I’m not inferring that women who sleep around do so because they get tricked into. I believe that most women, whether attractive or not, choose carefully who they want to be intimate with, usually looking at more than physical attributes, unlike most men who will jump at the opportunity when presented to them.

Yes attractive people naturally get more attention. No doubt about that.

I have no interest and do not question the intentions of girls who offer services through sbf, sugar babies, etc., I’m sure that have their reasons to do what they do and are free to do so within legal means. It is mutually beneficial to both parties in an agreed arrangement so that is fine.

I once had an arrangement with an attractive girl. She was an ex sia cabin crew and now a property agent. She shared that she had been invited and attended orgies on yachts and masked orgies in private homes. Everyone would be drunk and f*cking around with whoever they like. Rich men pay, attractive ladies get paid. She had completely left those wild days behind because she said money can be earned in many ways, but some ways are demeaning and she would not subject herself to those experiences again.

I think I won’t be a suitable chiongster in your definition because I for one will not accept an invitation to an orgy. I prefer private and intimate spaces with someone where both have developed a liking for each over time. This process takes more effort but in my limited experience, the satisfaction derived is many times more pleasurable than a one-off sex encounter with a stranger or paid service.

That’s why I think I’ve been disillusioned by this Japanese lady. I initially chose to believe that she really did like me but I was too foolish to accept the truth, that is she opens her heart easily to other men. Admittedly I’m at fault too becuase I cannot commit 100% to her since I’m married. I’m fine with her decision, she can do what she pleases, but I have decided to stay out of her business.

I have been in your situation before. What helped me get over it was simply thinking about the inevitable downside when news of your affair is finally out. Let's face it, very few can get away having an emotional affair with such frequent meetups without being found out.

From what I've seen in many instances, it is not your wife's reaction that will be difficult to handle, but the children's. Memories of your great fucks with your Jap lady will fade over time, and given your impossible situation there is no possibility of a happy ending for the two of you. If your children find out what you have done and your wife casts you as the villain (which you admittedly are), the kids will never see their father in the same light ever again.

Think of that, before you decide to do something stupid by continuing this dalliance. In my case, I was extremely lucky that my affairs were strictly kept under wraps and it was my ex wife's affairs that the children found out about.

Until today my kids don't see their mum the same way as before the divorce and I know she will regret her decision (to fuck around) for the rest of her life. She has spent the last years desperately trying to make things better with the kids but she knows that the damage done to her image is irreversible.

I have written about the impact of the divorce in several other threads. Base case since it was the wife that strayed, so I got Care and Control of both my kids, and my ex wife got zero alimony (not even thr nominal $1/month) plus zero extra share of the matrimonial property - So in effect Women's Charter gives zero protection to a woman who strays because the family court will not award care and control to a parent who cannot show that they can bring up the kids in an environment that is conducive to their well being.

I sometimes think, how my kids will handle it if they ever find out how I indulged in commercial sex while still married to their mum. I think if they are adults themselves when the truth comes to light, I believe it will be much easier for come to terms with it.

Think about the downside scenario i outlined above, hope that helps your resolve to cut her off completely from your life. Emotional affairs are the worst, because the wounds are the hardest ones to recover from. I understand that even experienced chiongsters will, from time to time, meet their kryptonite. Some ladies are simply unforgettable and irresistible fucks that in the heat of the moment you will be happy to give up everything for....but reality bites.

[Nelsonlim]

I have been in your situation before. What helped me get over it was simply thinking about the inevitable downside when news of your affair is finally out. Let's face it, very few can get away having an emotional affair with such frequent meetups without being found out.

From what I've seen in many instances, it is not your wife's reaction that will be difficult to handle, but the children's. Memories of your great fucks with your Jap lady will fade over time, and given your impossible situation there is no possibility of a happy ending for the two of you. If your children find out what you have done and your wife casts you as the villain (which you admittedly are), the kids will never see their father in the same light ever again.

Think of that, before you decide to do something stupid by continuing this dalliance. In my case, I was extremely lucky that my affairs were strictly kept under wraps and it was my ex wife's affairs that the children found out about.

Until today my kids don't see their mum the same way as before the divorce and I know she will regret her decision (to fuck around) for the rest of her life. She has spent the last years desperately trying to make things better with the kids but she knows that the damage done to her image is irreversible.

I have written about the impact of the divorce in several other threads. Base case since it was the wife that strayed, so I got Care and Control of both my kids, and my ex wife got zero alimony (not even thr nominal $1/month) plus zero extra share of the matrimonial property - So in effect Women's Charter gives zero protection to a woman who strays because the family court will not award care and control to a parent who cannot show that they can bring up the kids in an environment that is conducive to their well being.

I sometimes think, how my kids will handle it if they ever find out how I indulged in commercial sex while still married to their mum. I think if they are adults themselves when the truth comes to light, I believe it will be much easier for come to terms with it.

Think about the downside scenario i outlined above, hope that helps your resolve to cut her off completely from your life. Emotional affairs are the worst, because the wounds are the hardest ones to recover from. I understand that even experienced chiongsters will, from time to time, meet their kryptonite. Some ladies are simply unforgettable and irresistible fucks that in the heat of the moment you will be happy to give up everything for....but reality bites.

Wow thanks. Your input has given me the closure I need and put the matter to rest. Indeed thinking about the “what if” is definitely not worth the risk.

Glad to hear about your situation, hopefully your ex-wife manage somehow to get on with her life meaningfully, it is indeed the biggest regret one has to disappoint their children. You were fortunate not to be exposed, and then got care and control over your kids without having to pay alimony. Did you or your ex re-marry? Wish you and your family the best. Will read your other threads.

[Nelsonlim]

I have been in your situation before. What helped me get over it was simply thinking about the inevitable downside when news of your affair is finally out. Let's face it, very few can get away having an emotional affair with such frequent meetups without being found out.

From what I've seen in many instances, it is not your wife's reaction that will be difficult to handle, but the children's. Memories of your great fucks with your Jap lady will fade over time, and given your impossible situation there is no possibility of a happy ending for the two of you. If your children find out what you have done and your wife casts you as the villain (which you admittedly are), the kids will never see their father in the same light ever again.

Think of that, before you decide to do something stupid by continuing this dalliance. In my case, I was extremely lucky that my affairs were strictly kept under wraps and it was my ex wife's affairs that the children found out about.

Until today my kids don't see their mum the same way as before the divorce and I know she will regret her decision (to fuck around) for the rest of her life. She has spent the last years desperately trying to make things better with the kids but she knows that the damage done to her image is irreversible.

I have written about the impact of the divorce in several other threads. Base case since it was the wife that strayed, so I got Care and Control of both my kids, and my ex wife got zero alimony (not even thr nominal $1/month) plus zero extra share of the matrimonial property - So in effect Women's Charter gives zero protection to a woman who strays because the family court will not award care and control to a parent who cannot show that they can bring up the kids in an environment that is conducive to their well being.

I sometimes think, how my kids will handle it if they ever find out how I indulged in commercial sex while still married to their mum. I think if they are adults themselves when the truth comes to light, I believe it will be much easier for come to terms with it.

Think about the downside scenario i outlined above, hope that helps your resolve to cut her off completely from your life. Emotional affairs are the worst, because the wounds are the hardest ones to recover from. I understand that even experienced chiongsters will, from time to time, meet their kryptonite. Some ladies are simply unforgettable and irresistible fucks that in the heat of the moment you will be happy to give up everything for....but reality bites.

How did you gather evidence about your ex’s affairs to be used in court?

[Penguin23]

How did you gather evidence about your ex’s affairs to be used in court?

I wrote about this quite extensively on other threads, you can get the details there. But, long story short:

1. You need to be very very clear what evidence you want to gather, and what you want to achieve.

Getting evidence to show that a marriage has broken down irretrievably is easy - I have PI records, phone logs and I took a video while tailing her entering H81 when she met (one of her many) lovers. I have video recordings and Whatsapp conversations where she admitted that she was sleeping around. On hindsight, this was an overkill. The courts do not need much evidence to decide that a couple should no longer be married to each other. Out of the 4 grounds of Divorce - Separation, unreasonable behaviour, adultery, and desertion, Separation is a no-fault divorce ground where there is no need for the parties to gather any evidence whatsoever - simply sign a Statutory Declaration that you have been separated for 3 years (essentially, a backdated SD which may not actually be true, but hey it gets the job done)

2. Getting evidence to show her character fault, to the extent that her own lawyer will advise her against going to court to fight for Custody and/or Care and Control is more difficult. For my case I had overwhelming evidence, to the extent that her own parents told me that they will willingly testify in court to ensure that I get Care and Control of the kids. So that was pretty much a slam dunk. If she fights, she will lose and her chances of winning is very small, even though my kids are young and Family Courts usually award care of young kids to the mother.

3. Once I have Care and Control of the kids, there is very little grounds for her to ask for alimony. I need my income to support the kids, and I am lucky that I never transferred money regularly to my ex-wife. So there is no evidence she can produce, that she has been maintained by me so that she is accustomed to a certain "lifestyle".

I stood very firm on this last point, so there is not even the possibility that I will need to provide the nominal one dollar per month in alimony. She is and has always been a working woman and she can very well maintain herself and her lovers.

So essentially what happened was that she knew the battle was lost, and her lawyer advised that the best way out was to simply negotiate a no-fault divorce with a 3-year backdated separation. The legal process took me something like 3 months and $4000 (of which half was hers). We used only one lawyer, and nobody attended court in the end. If she chose to fight, I would have won and she would have gotten a public record in a civil case where she and her lovers will be named. Not the legacy you want to leave for your children when they grow up.

So, for those people who love to fuck other people's wife - be careful. You may have a court server at your doorstep or visiting your office at the most inconvenient time, and you may well get a summons to attend court just because you can't resist sticking your cock into a married woman's pussy.

For context - one of my ex wife's lovers was an Ang mo English teacher in a convent school. I reported the case of adultery to the principal, and the teacher was summarily dismissed and his employment pass cancelled. The reasons are obvious - a convent school cannot possibly condone such behaviour when they espouse Christian values to their teenage charges.

Ps: My ex-wife and I are on cordial terms now, and we gather regularly for the sake of the kids to have family meals. We will obviously never reconcile, but I think it is also wrong to make the kids suffer the sins of their parents, so we given them the best semblance of a normal family life as possible.

I found a partner, who thankfully can never have children, and I look forward to retiring overseas some day.

My ex wife has hit menopause and her sex drive has (presumably) gone to zero, so there is no man in her life and she will probably never have one in the future. Her figure has turned grandmotherly, I figure that it will take a guy with a serious granny fetish to poke his dick into her pussy.

[Nelsonlim]

I wrote about this quite extensively on other threads, you can get the details there. But, long story short:

1. You need to be very very clear what evidence you want to gather, and what you want to achieve.

Getting evidence to show that a marriage has broken down irretrievably is easy - I have PI records, phone logs and I took a video while tailing her entering H81 when she met (one of her many) lovers. I have video recordings and Whatsapp conversations where she admitted that she was sleeping around. On hindsight, this was an overkill. The courts do not need much evidence to decide that a couple should no longer be married to each other. Out of the 4 grounds of Divorce - Separation, unreasonable behaviour, adultery, and desertion, Separation is a no-fault divorce ground where there is no need for the parties to gather any evidence whatsoever - simply sign a Statutory Declaration that you have been separated for 3 years (essentially, a backdated SD which may not actually be true, but hey it gets the job done)

2. Getting evidence to show her character fault, to the extent that her own lawyer will advise her against going to court to fight for Custody and/or Care and Control is more difficult. For my case I had overwhelming evidence, to the extent that her own parents told me that they will willingly testify in court to ensure that I get Care and Control of the kids. So that was pretty much a slam dunk. If she fights, she will lose and her chances of winning is very small, even though my kids are young and Family Courts usually award care of young kids to the mother.

3. Once I have Care and Control of the kids, there is very little grounds for her to ask for alimony. I need my income to support the kids, and I am lucky that I never transferred money regularly to my ex-wife. So there is no evidence she can produce, that she has been maintained by me so that she is accustomed to a certain "lifestyle".

I stood very firm on this last point, so there is not even the possibility that I will need to provide the nominal one dollar per month in alimony. She is and has always been a working woman and she can very well maintain herself and her lovers.

So essentially what happened was that she knew the battle was lost, and her lawyer advised that the best way out was to simply negotiate a no-fault divorce with a 3-year backdated separation. The legal process took me something like 3 months and $4000 (of which half was hers). We used only one lawyer, and nobody attended court in the end. If she chose to fight, I would have won and she would have gotten a public record in a civil case where she and her lovers will be named. Not the legacy you want to leave for your children when they grow up.

So, for those people who love to fuck other people's wife - be careful. You may have a court server at your doorstep or visiting your office at the most inconvenient time, and you may well get a summons to attend court just because you can't resist sticking your cock into a married woman's pussy.

For context - one of my ex wife's lovers was an Ang mo English teacher in a convent school. I reported the case of adultery to the principal, and the teacher was summarily dismissed and his employment pass cancelled. The reasons are obvious - a convent school cannot possibly condone such behaviour when they espouse Christian values to their teenage charges.

Ps: My ex-wife and I are on cordial terms now, and we gather regularly for the sake of the kids to have family meals. We will obviously never reconcile, but I think it is also wrong to make the kids suffer the sins of their parents, so we given them the best semblance of a normal family life as possible.

I found a partner, who thankfully can never have children, and I look forward to retiring overseas some day.

My ex wife has hit menopause and her sex drive has (presumably) gone to zero, so there is no man in her life and she will probably never have one in the future. Her figure has turned grandmotherly, I figure that it will take a guy with a serious granny fetish to poke his dick into her pussy.

Thanks for your detailed sharing. I learnt quite a fair bit. Is it legal to hire PI to track this Japanese woman for my case? Or if PI only legal if used for marriage matters?

[Nelsonlim]

I wrote about this quite extensively on other threads, you can get the details there. But, long story short:

1. You need to be very very clear what evidence you want to gather, and what you want to achieve.

Getting evidence to show that a marriage has broken down irretrievably is easy - I have PI records, phone logs and I took a video while tailing her entering H81 when she met (one of her many) lovers. I have video recordings and Whatsapp conversations where she admitted that she was sleeping around. On hindsight, this was an overkill. The courts do not need much evidence to decide that a couple should no longer be married to each other. Out of the 4 grounds of Divorce - Separation, unreasonable behaviour, adultery, and desertion, Separation is a no-fault divorce ground where there is no need for the parties to gather any evidence whatsoever - simply sign a Statutory Declaration that you have been separated for 3 years (essentially, a backdated SD which may not actually be true, but hey it gets the job done)

2. Getting evidence to show her character fault, to the extent that her own lawyer will advise her against going to court to fight for Custody and/or Care and Control is more difficult. For my case I had overwhelming evidence, to the extent that her own parents told me that they will willingly testify in court to ensure that I get Care and Control of the kids. So that was pretty much a slam dunk. If she fights, she will lose and her chances of winning is very small, even though my kids are young and Family Courts usually award care of young kids to the mother.

3. Once I have Care and Control of the kids, there is very little grounds for her to ask for alimony. I need my income to support the kids, and I am lucky that I never transferred money regularly to my ex-wife. So there is no evidence she can produce, that she has been maintained by me so that she is accustomed to a certain "lifestyle".

I stood very firm on this last point, so there is not even the possibility that I will need to provide the nominal one dollar per month in alimony. She is and has always been a working woman and she can very well maintain herself and her lovers.

So essentially what happened was that she knew the battle was lost, and her lawyer advised that the best way out was to simply negotiate a no-fault divorce with a 3-year backdated separation. The legal process took me something like 3 months and $4000 (of which half was hers). We used only one lawyer, and nobody attended court in the end. If she chose to fight, I would have won and she would have gotten a public record in a civil case where she and her lovers will be named. Not the legacy you want to leave for your children when they grow up.

So, for those people who love to fuck other people's wife - be careful. You may have a court server at your doorstep or visiting your office at the most inconvenient time, and you may well get a summons to attend court just because you can't resist sticking your cock into a married woman's pussy.

For context - one of my ex wife's lovers was an Ang mo English teacher in a convent school. I reported the case of adultery to the principal, and the teacher was summarily dismissed and his employment pass cancelled. The reasons are obvious - a convent school cannot possibly condone such behaviour when they espouse Christian values to their teenage charges.

Ps: My ex-wife and I are on cordial terms now, and we gather regularly for the sake of the kids to have family meals. We will obviously never reconcile, but I think it is also wrong to make the kids suffer the sins of their parents, so we given them the best semblance of a normal family life as possible.

I found a partner, who thankfully can never have children, and I look forward to retiring overseas some day.

My ex wife has hit menopause and her sex drive has (presumably) gone to zero, so there is no man in her life and she will probably never have one in the future. Her figure has turned grandmotherly, I figure that it will take a guy with a serious granny fetish to poke his dick into her pussy.

Thanks for your detailed sharing. I learnt quite a fair bit. Is it legal to hire PI to track this Japanese woman for my case? Or is PI only legal if used for marriage matters?

[leakypipes]

Sorry multiple post cos my mobile fail

[leakypipes]

I think you should make a clean break. Sometimes when you know the lady got some emotional baggage ah, it's not worth it to keep it going la. Keep the memories as fap material and keep your eyes open for next target.

Keep the drama for your own household. Don't take on new drama because the sex is good. Long term bo hua

[leakypipes]

Sorry multiple post cos my mobile fail

[leakypipes]

Sorry multiple post cos my mobile fail

[Chua Soi Lek]

I think you have already made up your mind and seek to justify your actions in here …

[Penguin23]

Thanks for your detailed sharing. I learnt quite a fair bit. Is it legal to hire PI to track this Japanese woman for my case? Or is PI only legal if used for marriage matters?

A PI (who is usually ex SPF) will not accept a job to track the Jap lady.

They ask some tough questions on the identity of the target and how she is related to you.

There are obviously underground ones who do this type of job, but I have no such contacts (anymore)

Cut it off, bro. Don't delay and stifle your curiosity on wanting to know how many cocks your ex FB is now servicing. Her life is her business.

[Theus]

Wow thanks. Your input has given me the closure I need and put the matter to rest. Indeed thinking about the “what if” is definitely not worth the risk.



Good to hear that you have decided what to do.

One mistake you did make was having an emotional attachment to her and yet unable to compartmentalize.
But why are you so interested in knowing about divorce stuff now ?

[bowlofsoup]

if you want to have a fancy and adventurous life then go fo it..but if not i think avoiding is a better thing to do. going out on a date with her may expose you in public where you will bump into family and friends. If anyhow your wife suspect you having affair outside... you are gone. do not underestimate woman's instinct

[Nelsonlim]

A PI (who is usually ex SPF) will not accept a job to track the Jap lady.

They ask some tough questions on the identity of the target and how she is related to you.

There are obviously underground ones who do this type of job, but I have no such contacts (anymore)

Cut it off, bro. Don't delay and stifle your curiosity on wanting to know how many cocks your ex FB is now servicing. Her life is her business.

Sigh, you are right. She can do whatever she wants for all I care. Will stop.

[Nelsonlim]

if you want to have a fancy and adventurous life then go fo it..but if not i think avoiding is a better thing to do. going out on a date with her may expose you in public where you will bump into family and friends. If anyhow your wife suspect you having affair outside... you are gone. do not underestimate woman's instinct

We had bumped into friends on a few occasions. Afterwards we changed to only meeting in hotels or at her place. I understand the part on woman’s instinct. I thought I could lead a double life successfully but I realized that my affections towards my wife reduced during the affair.

[Nelsonlim]

Good to hear that you have decided what to do.

One mistake you did make was having an emotional attachment to her and yet unable to compartmentalize.
But why are you so interested in knowing about divorce stuff now ?

Just curious about the part where the man gets full care and control because in SG it is normally by default to the woman or shared care and control.

[Nelsonlim]

I still wonder, was she correct to say that she and I are the same. She can meet new people without my knowledge, just like she doesn’t know what I do with my wife. I feel there is a difference.

[thor1981]

A PI (who is usually ex SPF) will not accept a job to track the Jap lady.

They ask some tough questions on the identity of the target and how she is related to you.

There are obviously underground ones who do this type of job, but I have no such contacts (anymore)

Cut it off, bro. Don't delay and stifle your curiosity on wanting to know how many cocks your ex FB is now servicing. Her life is her business.

Well said bro.

Bro TS, just end it now. I tried to play the game of finding out how many dicks my ex was servicing, and it hurts to know how many. Better is take a positive to enjoy your family life while you still can.

[Anderson]

I still wonder, was she correct to say that she and I are the same. She can meet new people without my knowledge, just like she doesn’t know what I do with my wife. I feel there is a difference.

Don't hang onto it. I sometimes wonder how mine is now, who she is with now.
And it occurs to me, it would be much better for me to look at myself and see I can make things better for myself.
The sleepless nights wondering and worries have passed for me and I am so so relieved I am pass it now.

[Nelsonlim]

Good to hear that you are over it. What if, one day, she texts you all of a sudden, asking how are you, what would you do? Have you thought that you two could have just remained as acquaintances? I’m wondering what I will do if she texts me again. Perhaps I should just strictly remain as nothing more than friends.

Don't hang onto it. I sometimes wonder how mine is now, who she is with now.
And it occurs to me, it would be much better for me to look at myself and see I can make things better for myself.
The sleepless nights wondering and worries have passed for me and I am so so relieved I am pass it now.

[Anderson]

What if, one day, she texts you all of a sudden, asking how are you, what would you do?

You mean if she asks to return as it was ? My answer will be no.
The drama is just too consuming, even ruining the mood for sex.
Even during sex will start to wonder, what and when the next drama is going to be. However good the sex, the drama, and the subsequent weariness takes it all away.

Do not want to be acquaintance either, too unpredictable.
Dont want to have sleepless nights again wondering wtf is going to happen next.

[Zax51]

Move on, don't turn back already.

[similang]

mental is one thing that drives a person crazy.

[RipCord]

Whenever after drama or arguments, when frustration is high, will hate fuck.
The pounding is something my one never expected or forgot.
Hate fuck can be awesome sometimes.

[leakypipes]

You mean if she asks to return as it was ? My answer will be no.
The drama is just too consuming, even ruining the mood for sex.
Even during sex will start to wonder, what and when the next drama is going to be. However good the sex, the drama, and the subsequent weariness takes it all away.

Do not want to be acquaintance either, too unpredictable.
Dont want to have sleepless nights again wondering wtf is going to happen next.

Exactly bro. No sex is worth the drama.

[tyga]

Pass on the jap girl to me 😂🤣

[Theus]

Just curious about the part where the man gets full care and control because in SG it is normally by default to the woman or shared care and control.

Thats good, that's good.
Your wife, according to you, is a good lady to have, even though in bed she may not meet your expectations.
But half of it maybe your lack of encouragement ?
Get the drift ?

[oxeso]

https://youtu.be/rPWhltsIpPY?si=i7LIaSSgQM5O4wFU

[Cryptor]

wah jin lucky i never encounter her when i tried dating apps. if not sure leave family for the sex then later get free green hat :eek:

[Alcas]

What have you decided to do ?
1 last tryst and goodbye my love ?

I would do that.

[Nelsonlim]

As I had expected, she texted “how are you?” Previously I would have told her my feelings, that I’ve been thinking about her, and ask her how she was doing.

But this time I just texted back “I’m fine”. To which she replied “ok”. And that was it. I’m tired of her mind games and manipulative ways. My last straw was that she lied to me that she hadn’t slept with another guy(s). In some ways I’m feeling more free and spending time to focus on myself and my family; wife and my kids.

I unblocked her on social media as I don’t want to have the feeling of hiding from her. Recently, I started to post photos of my family outings, including my wife and I together. I’m not sure if she has seen my posts but I don’t want to hide anymore. Previously I would avoid going out with my wife or have intimate moments, and even slept in separate rooms. But now since I broke up with this Japanese lady, I’ve moved back to sleep with my wife on the same bed.

Like what the bros here shared, fun wild sex is only temporary. But my wife has remained faithful, loving and respectful all these years. The only regret I have is having to keep this secret within myself for the rest of my life.

In some ways, I feel sorry for this Japanese lady, that she easily falls in love with men, perhaps as a way to seek validation and love without the commitment. She used to remark that she finds herself attracted to married men. And I used to indulge in that forbidden love affair with her. But not anymore. Because what she does with me, she does it with other men. Hence I at peace with myself and wish her the best.

[bignehneh]

Can intro to the bros here la. Haha!

[CrimsonSky]

In some ways I’m feeling more free and spending time to focus on myself and my family; wife and my kids.

Like what the bros here shared, fun wild sex is only temporary. But my wife has remained faithful, loving and respectful all these years. The only regret I have is having to keep this secret within myself for the rest of my life.



Well done bro. Eating out or having a fling is something very common since age immemorial, don't need to feel bad. As long as you know where home is at the end of the day, that will be the most important.

[Bizsta]

Well done bro. Eating out or having a fling is something very common since age immemorial, don't need to feel bad. As long as you know where home is at the end of the day, that will be the most important.Yes no matter what must recognise your home

[Nelsonlim]

Update:
Going against most brothers’ advice here, my Japanese friend and I had met twice since my last post.

The first meet was just over dinner after work. We chatted casually over work and family. We didn’t have a particularly deep conversation, nor did we talk about why we were meeting. It felt awkward for both of us.

1 month later we met again for dinner. She looked more beautiful than before. Her captivating smile and gentleness. This time the conversation felt more natural and we laughed. We still didn’t talk about why we were meeting or if this would continue. I guess we both knew that we just enjoyed each other’s company without thinking about the hurt we brought to each other.

We took a cab home together. When she was nearing her place, she held my hand. After a few silent seconds, I turned my head to her and kissed her lips. I pulled away from her and it was silence again. Then I kissed her again. This time our tongues met. We bid goodbyes and went our separate ways.

We said that we would meet again the following week. However she hasn’t confirmed the date. Seeing that she doesn’t reply my texts, I can only guess that she still feels confused as I am; whether we should continue to see each other.

What do you guys think about the situation?

[kookies]

Let it go or you will get into regrettable shit soon.

[magicschoolbus]

Hands off before the burn happens.

[yang punk]

Just saw this thread today…
Obviously this jap lady is a nympho who needs lots of sex. Sex for sex sake. Words uttered in the height of passion are meaningless so don’t read too much into them.
That’s why it’s so easy for her to flirt from dick to dick !
You on the other hand must have been deeply infatuated, I wouldn’t say in love, as we men are more often ruled by our small head.
Your wife must be the submissive kind. Which wife would tolerate husband sleeping in separate room without suspicion of his infidelity? Anyway with long term marriage love has already turned into obligation.
So if you can accept the truth that there is no exclusiveness towards each other then a fuck buddy relationship would work out just fine!

[tritonyeah666]

Yes the fact the jap lady needs to wear sanitary pad daily just cause she gets wet so easily everyday, indicates she's a nymphomaniac where no amt of men can satisfy her. So just enjoy the ride of a village bicycle who happens to be hot lol

[valkyrierune]

I had a similar experience some time back and lasted more than 7 years.
Sex was the best with her indeed. But the narcissistic, temperamental, mood swing + control behavior creates a huge toll of my mental health during the last few years.

Same here, broke off and patch back more than 3 times. Usually gave in due to sex.
Eventually I had decided to call it off for good. Sex is really good no doubt. But I deserve a better mental wellbeing after much consideration.

[hayser]

Power bro, keep it up

[bigmannow]

Last time met a jap lady online and she would call me to sex chat and at one time even masterbate on phone .. after a while did not call anymore. Her phone number was set to private. That time no chat app as yet.

[capene]

Had one of those, great good sex, terrible temperament and attitude, but very sweet and endearing when in the mood.