Quote:
Originally Posted by number1
Anyway, are there anybody out there who can give me some advice on what to do when i am in vietnam i.e. how to choose a bride? after all since they can't speak english/mandarin, they only way to choose is just based on their looks which to me is not a good or only way to judge....??
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Okay here's my miserable pathetic 2 dongs worth (& of cos not everybody will agree with it
)
Majority of the marital problems in marriages arranged by the match-making agencies arises mainly due to the following,
01. Feelings
- as these are arranged, most couples don't have the luxury of courtship and hence feelings are often sidestepped for a quickie marriage.
- looks can last at the beginning, but feelings can last much much longer.
- there was a few known cases where the wives even ran back to their hometown with their kids in tow cos they can't stand a loveless marriage anymore
02. Loneliness
- as they are very new to Singapore and especially to city living, loneliness will step in at a very early stage. Think of your first few weeks in BMT where you cannot book out and extend it to a lifetime, think you know now what I meant
- Moreover they have nobody to turn to voice out their problems & frustration especially with their language problems.
- these frustation is left unchecked will always ballooned up
- in worst cases they may even desert the husband or have an affair
03. Expectations
- voiced out by many many bros here before whom have went thru the same well-trodden path, they expect us in most cases to support their extended family back in their hometown also.
- it will be difficult for them to understand that it is difficult for us in Singapore to be the sole breadwinner and yet still support their family.
So with all these potential problems that what should you do?? Well if you have the luxury of time than why not take some opportunity to visit Vietnam in person and look around (a lot of us have already "been there, done that"
)
The agency fees of 6 to 10K can easily last you a few trips to Vietnam plus some sightseeing thrown in as well, of cos the aim is not for sightseeing but more for looking out for your future partners the courtship way. Most of the gals there are pretty approachable but it will definitely helps A LOT if you know some basic vietnamese conversation.
Alternatives is to ask some bros whom have vietnamese spouses to recommend their hometown relatives, the wives will be more than happy to help you out as it may means a better life for their relatives. Than you can slowly court the gal and try to develop some feelings.
There you have it, hope this helps, good luck
Cheerios.....SS08 ^_^