How to KC a WL without being KC-ed by Her

[KangTuo]

Originally Posted by Harvest

"THE ONE" is that once-in-a blue-moon, drop-from-the-sky dream girl, consciously or sub-consciously conceived. It may be love in first sight/lust, or slowly discovered after many interections/RTFs... sucking you deeper into the rabbit hole faster than any other girls you've been with. But by the time you've finally realized, you are often left powerless to resist her...

I am really left powerless now...
I have always know and tell my kakis that I will let go of her after I fulfullied all my plans for this 1 month when she is here. Although my plans goes well, my heart and soul went with her. Up till today, after multiple ups and downs in this relation, I still feel like seeing her more.

Next week she will be go back to her home country for a good 3 months or so. I already bought my air ticket to visit her again 2weeks after she go back.

Originally Posted by aczeta76

Even the hardened and season may falter and fall once in a while...

true enuff... i am going thru these emotion ride now
it is painful, tiring and yet sweet and loving

[aczeta76]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

true enuff... i am going thru these emotion ride now
it is painful, tiring and yet sweet and loving

Sounds all so familiar.. regardless of the nationality of the KC...

hahaha... I was just on the phone with my big boss and he was asking me to bring my "GF" next time I need to entertain at the next few functions when we are expecting state guests. This got my logic sensor working again as I have to admit, much as I hate to that

My KC will not be able to do so...Wrong group of people, wrong type of language, wrong wrong wrong...

No cinderella story here...so unless I change jobs...

[dilmon]

Sorry bro, this post might not be suitable for this thread, as there is no
direct relation.

But how many of you bros here will buy things/food for your favourite WL?

I saw a few cases before... 1 uncle even brought durians to the HC....

Not sure whether he got past the recept...

[Harvest]

The Complete KC Newbie's Guide To:

How to Deal With KC-induced Emotional Stress Using NLP

Got stuck in the KC cycle and feeling trapped or lost? Fret not. Use these simple yet highly effective NLP strategies to transform this sense of helplessness into empowerment and confidence.

Introduction

Every KC cheongster has gone through this cycle: You KC her, she KC you. You think that you are in control, she thinks that she has hooked you on. You find her hard to let go, she wonders if you are true. So you set her some KC tests; she passed some, failed some. Your mind is in a mess. Want to advance further, afraid that more skeletons in the closet will be discovered. Want to cut your losses, fear that the pain will be too hard to bear. So you are neither here nor there. While you are in the midst of the decision-making process, you decided to post your story on SBF's Matters of the Heart thread, only to be whacked left, right and centre! Life is tough, err?? Guys, here is a simple rule of life to remember:

Event + Response = Outcome

The events are all that is happening before your very eyes: things she does to make your day or break your heart, comments that fellow samsters give to encourage you or "slap" you on your face (to wake you up)! How we respond to all these events will shape the outcome of it all. So, the meaning we choose to attach to an experience is really the meaning we create. Why is this so important? Simply because we cannot control every event that happens around us. For example, when you are in the KC cycle, you can't control her emotions or her freewill. However, you can control how you respond to her emotions and actions in order to stand a better chance of winning the KC game/ breaking away from the cycle to your advantage. People who succeed and live fulfilling and enriching lives don't experience better events, they just represent things differently and respond in a much more powerful way. Here is a very important Law of the Universe:

The Law of Polarity: Anything that seems to be extremely Negative, when framed from a different perspective, becomes extremely Positive.

How do we apply this Law to our roller-coaster KC experience? Simply put: If how we represent (frame) our experience determines how we respond and the outcomes we achieve, we must learn to constantly frame experiences in ways that empower us, not sink us. We can learn to create resourceful meanings out of every "bad" KC experience. And this process of turning a negative experience to a positive experience is called "Reframing" in NLP terminology.

Technical Execution

There are 2 ways of Reframing:

1) Content Reframing. This is the process of changing the meaning of the experience. Remember that every event has multiple meanings. The meaning we choose to focus on is what becomes real for us. Let's say for example your girl start giving you the cold shoulder for some strange reasons. And you know girls lah... when they get angry they don't tell us yet expect us to know the reasons as if we are mind readers! So on first thought, the meaning of her coldness may be that she is getting aloof, complacent or worse...has another lover behind your back! By reframing her actions, you can re-create the meaning of her coldness as an opportunity to test whether you have the patience for her silly mood swings, whims and fancies etc. Say take the worst case scenario that despite your best efforts, she refused to make peace and you have lost your patience. This could give you the added enlightenment and belief that she is NOT the one for you after all, making it easier for your to exit with confidence and keep a lookout for someone better!

2) Context Reframing. This is the process of changing the context of the experience from which it is perceived. Taking the same example as above, you can use context reframing by thinking, "When she is in a better mood (context of time), we may be able to clear the air again" or "When we meet outside her joint (context of place), she might be less pressured and more willing to talk in the absence of her colleagues/boss" etc. So if it turns out that you were able to clear up things with her in a different time or place, isn't it a blessing in disguise that you just endured for a while longer and not blew your top prematurely at her?

So as you can see, whatever the outcome of this experience, you still "win" this game and maintain control at the end of the day. How cool is that??

To be continued...

[Chengdu dog]

Originally Posted by slider_72

Sure thing bro. Just remember, no dogs allowed ok?

We do a number count before the expedition to see how many bitches we need to be on standby there. Also, must make reservations at the famous dog meat restaurant there for stewed dog meat in claypot.

Bro slider_72, you are so bad & becoming more like the PRC leow like to eat dog meats.
According to Buddishist, dogs isn't meant for human foods

Hope you don't get evil influence from PRC people when you migrate there

[slider_72]

Originally Posted by Chengdu dog

Bro slider_72, you are so bad & becoming more like the PRC leow like to eat dog meats.
According to Buddishist, dogs isn't meant for human foods

Hope you don't get evil influence from PRC people when you migrate there

No lah, I don't any how eat dog meat one. I only eat dogs from Chengdu.

[GL-Roamer]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

true enuff... i am going thru these emotion ride now
it is painful, tiring and yet sweet and loving

Hi bro KangTuo

I feel that you are experiencing some emotional confusion now perhaps you can just try talking to other girls (try to choose more decent ones if no choice then get 1 that is at least willing to listen to you just pour it out onto her) then maybe you will start feeling that she is not the only girl in your life.

Perhaps once you experience the emotional connection with another lady through words and understanding of each other, you will be able to tip the emotional scales back into a balanced state.

Confusion is just another phase of a learning process, if you are not confused you won't learn.

Hope this helps.

[Chengdu dog]

Originally Posted by slider_72

No lah, I don't any how eat dog meat one. I only eat dogs from Chengdu.

You are so naughty no wonder 那些中国小姐这么喜欢你

[slider_72]

Originally Posted by chengdu dog

you are so naughty no wonder 那些中国小姐这么喜欢你 :d

说啥嘛你，她们咋喜欢我？她们只喜欢我的钱包。你有钱也可以试试呗。

[cablesnwires]

Originally Posted by slider_72

No lah, I don't any how eat dog meat one. I only eat dogs from Chengdu.

On the matter of dog meat, it is said that Chengdu's dog bark is actually no worse than it's bite. Is it true? *woof *woof

[Panamera]

Originally Posted by cablesnwires

On the matter of dog meat, it is said that Chengdu's dog bark is actually no worse than it's bite. Is it true? *woof *woof

No joke, really, please read below:

成都市犬只管理办法
³É¶¼¹«°²

[Chengdu dog]

Originally Posted by slider_72

说啥嘛你，她们咋喜欢我？她们只喜欢我的钱包。你有钱也可以试试呗。

哈哈哈

Originally Posted by cablesnwires

On the matter of dog meat, it is said that Chengdu's dog bark is actually no worse than it's bite. Is it true? *woof *woof

Originally Posted by Panamera

No joke, really, please read below:

成都市犬只管理办法
³É¶¼¹«°²

All bros 我只是开玩笑 la no hard feeling ok

[slider_72]

Originally Posted by Chengdu dog

All bros 我只是开玩笑 la no hard feeling ok

No hard feelings from me but it would be nice if you would stop stalking me.

Peace?

[groo]

Originally Posted by slider_72

说啥嘛你，她们咋喜欢我？...你有钱也可以试试呗。

Wah! Bro-S72, you're sounding much like a 沈阳妹哦！Bwahahahahahahaha!!!

[slider_72]

Originally Posted by groo

Wah! Bro-S72, you're sounding much like a 沈阳妹哦！Bwahahahahahahaha!!!

Hehehe. Too much association with 东北小姑娘儿.