I tink it's very common for such things to happen. ESP for gals. Cos, to lay a man is definitely much easier than vice versa.
U will b surprise.
Changes In human r most fearful!!! ESP huge dramatic changes.
To me it a matter of how each individual view sex.Whether are you looking for sex or making love.
If you are just looking for sex, then whoever you do it with doesn't really matter. It a form of release, be it for male or female.
The main different b/w sex and making love is, making love involve more emotion, which from the name, obviously have to be either ur bf/gf or hub/wife.
To me it a matter of how each individual view sex.Whether are you looking for sex or making love.
If you are just looking for sex, then whoever you do it with doesn't really matter. It a form of release, be it for male or female.
The main different b/w sex and making love is, making love involve more emotion, which from the name, obviously have to be either ur bf/gf or hub/wife.
The relationship between lust and love is actually a very complicated one.
In the ideal situation, the one you love is also the one you lust after. This is the situation most commonly found in newly weds. Unfortunately, in most cases, if not all, it doesn't last. After three to five years, the love may grow (or it may not), but the lust for your partner flags.
Before meeting one's significant other, one experiences lust for many prospective partners. But love for any one of them is absent. However sometimes after having sex with a partner, one can begin to fall in love with them. This is a natural reaction because of the hormones given off during intercourse. Lust, in other words, can lead to love.
For many married couples who have been together for more than five years and are still happy to remain together, the love between them is a feeling of emotional attachment. But they could still be lusting after others around them. Conceivably then, one can love, but not lust for, one's partner.
I know at this age and time, sex is not as conservation as in the 90s. Our culture is getting more westernized and having multiple sex partners, or sex without emotion, is perfectly normal. But... I just couldn't accept it. I can accept sex before marriage, with your boyfriend etc but I can't accept having multiple partners cos sex feels good. (ONS or FB)
Am I just uptight about sex?
Quote:
Originally Posted by flamenomore
But the thing is that it's a mutual agreement between she and her partners. Because everyone is very casual about sex, moralities is no longer a factor in judging whether the act is right or wrong. As long as both party agrees, to her, it seems right. Cos "it's just sex" what.
That's the gray area I'm trying to understand.
Quote:
Originally Posted by flamenomore
So I guess, despite sex being so liberal now, it's still normal to be a bit conservative about it.
As the thread progress, more facts emerge. We know now you are a girl for sure. I'm wondering, did you start this thread because you wish to help your friend and get her to stop having casual sex? Or are you using her as an example to reflect on your internal views towards sex?
Actually, if you were to look at your posts here, your internal position is very clear and consistent. Pre-marital sex with bf is fine but any other forms of sex is beyond you. That's actually very fine. You aren't conservative in my opinion. Conservative girls won't even have sex before marriage. You are a very normal girl really.
Sex with every new partner can feel pretty awkward. I've my share of flings and my personal opinion is that the best sex I had is with the people I loved and having a consistent partner really relaxes me more. I'm sure many here will agree to the benefits of a consistent partner rather than to keep switching here and there. By the way, I'm not trying to entice you to be a FB or what. Just a frank discussion.
As the thread progress, more facts emerge. We know now you are a girl for sure. I'm wondering, did you start this thread because you wish to help your friend and get her to stop having casual sex? Or are you using her as an example to reflect on your internal views towards sex?
Actually, if you were to look at your posts here, your internal position is very clear and consistent. Pre-marital sex with bf is fine but any other forms of sex is beyond you. That's actually very fine. You aren't conservative in my opinion. Conservative girls won't even have sex before marriage. You are a very normal girl really.
Sex with every new partner can feel pretty awkward. I've my share of flings and my personal opinion is that the best sex I had is with the people I loved and having a consistent partner really relaxes me more. I'm sure many here will agree to the benefits of a consistent partner rather than to keep switching here and there. By the way, I'm not trying to entice you to be a FB or what. Just a frank discussion.
Well, I would really like to think myself as a saint and that I could help my friends in many ways. But as I grow older, I realize I can't "save" anyone much as I like to. I can't stop them from doing what they want in their life, the only way I could deal with it is to understand and accept it. So... This post is started like what you said, using an example to reflect what's my internal view towards casual sex.
Maybe it's because of peer pressure... I'm surrounded by friends who thinks that casual sex is nothing and I'm the only one who shakes head in horror. So I came to this forum to understand more. Am I just uptight and freaking too much over sex? or are my friends too open minded?
But the replies cleared up my mind, they are all very mature and their reasonings are all logical. I'm really thankful and my conclusion here is despite sex being liberal now, one should still have some values. If you value yourself, you'll take care of yourself. If you can live for the rest of your life without regretting what you chose to do, no matter what reasons, I gues that's the way it is then.
thank you for your well thought out reply! Really appreciates that!
The thing about having FBs is this: it's mutual consent, both parties know they're in it more for the physical part of sex and the intimacy of it in the bedroom than it is about relationships and feelings for each other. Some people just happen to be lucky to find a partner who is faithful to them in life, and thus their FB is their BF/GF, best of both worlds.
But as for your friend, I would agree with what bros said here that she has been badly scarred by her ex cheating on her. Perhaps to the point that sex has been desensitised for her since "if guys never keep themselves to one girl, why should I do the same if I can get the same enjoyment and happiness that he gets from playing around?" That's why she is comfortable spreading her legs for so many individuals in her life now, because she either really feels nothing anymore, or she's just repressing her inner scars from the failed relationship. Sex is like a release valve for her, both literally for her hormones as well as for her mental state.
Personally speaking, I'd think the guy was a bastard to get into a relationship with her only to play her off with some other girl behind her back. If a guy knows he's in no state to handle a relationship because he is super promiscuous and enjoys sex more than he enjoys a relationship, he should just stick to having FBs instead of ruining a girl's emotional and relationship life by cheating on her. I'm an example. I found my ex through here. She was one innocent girl who had no business in this forum other than the fact that "she felt bored" and "she was curious". Initially I got into a BF/GF relationship with her half because she was willing to experiment with sex, which was more than fine for me since it also allowed me to get some release for myself, and half also to get her out of the forum and prevent her from being overly corrupted. Stupid reasoning I know. And the facts bore out for themselves. After a month I realised I saw her more as a sex partner while she already threw her heart and soul into me and the relationship. Eight times out of ten I saw her, I would be only thinking of the things we would be doing afterwards in bed. So I chose to break up with her, so as not to ruin her life as badly as I would have possibly done. Thankfully she's fine now after that break-up period, and as for me I openly admit that I'm not seeking relationships now but more of seeking sexual partners to get release with from time to time. I make a good lover in bed, but I'd make a horrible boyfriend.
You're normal to be conservative about sex insofar that one should only do it with a single partner at any one time, but well I guess sometimes some of us just have an appetite for sex that's bigger than what one normal person can satisfy. Keep it that way for yourself flamenomore, and make sure you choose your future guy wisely, both for his endearing character as well as for his sexual appetite that suits you.
Ahhh good points. But unfortunately, the guy did not break up with my friend over sex or have another girl. The cause is totally non sexual which is why I couldn't understand why she's doing that.
Most of your got it right, I guess she's seeking for revenge and being spiteful & like what you reasoned, she felt so emotionally worthless that she's having causal sex. As both a form of release and a way to "destroy" herself.
Ahhh good points. But unfortunately, the guy did not break up with my friend over sex or have another girl. The cause is totally non sexual which is why I couldn't understand why she's doing that.
Most of your got it right, I guess she's seeking for revenge and being spiteful & like what you reasoned, she felt so emotionally worthless that she's having causal sex. As both a form of release and a way to "destroy" herself.
Thank you for your advise nonetheless! (:
Glad to hear that you are more enlightened after reading so many replies from very experienced bros. Initially you are too emotional to view your friend's predicament objectively. Your friend would be glad if she knows of what you are doing. You have good and kind intention which must be commendable. We must bear in mind that different people have different values so need not to be alarmed
__________________ Sharing is Better than Fighting
Knowledge is a treasure but practice is the key to it ~ Thomas Fuller.
My friend who is 20 years old went through a bad break up and had about 5 different sex partners after that. These partners are like her good guy friends and even this ex-boyfriend's older brother.
I know at this age and time, sex is not as conservation as in the 90s. Our culture is getting more westernized and having multiple sex partners, or sex without emotion, is perfectly normal. But... I just couldn't accept it. I can accept sex before marriage, with your boyfriend etc but I can't accept having multiple partners cos sex feels good. (ONS or FB)
Am I just uptight about sex?
You can pass her contact and let us "console" her if you don't mind.
__________________ One of my memorable sexcapades:
Ultimately, it boils down to each individual's perspective on sex and no one is right or wrong on this or their views.. The important thing is to treasure yourself.. If you do not treasure yourself or your life, then what do you want for your life then.. Who will give you the respect that you might be looking for..
Glad to hear that you are more enlightened after reading so many replies from very experienced bros. Initially you are too emotional to view your friend's predicament objectively. Your friend would be glad if she knows of what you are doing. You have good and kind intention which must be commendable. We must bear in mind that different people have different values so need not to be alarmed
Hahah, hopefully my friend won't think I'm trying to "control" her by telling her what I think she shouldn't do cos I feel it's wrong.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4am'rs
You can pass her contact and let us "console" her if you don't mind.
HAHA! I can't control my friend's action, but I can control mine! So, not a chance bro! Anyway, don't you have a hot colleague to be with? (: love your story, by the way!
Quote:
Originally Posted by ch33zy
Ultimately, it boils down to each individual's perspective on sex and no one is right or wrong on this or their views.. The important thing is to treasure yourself.. If you do not treasure yourself or your life, then what do you want for your life then.. Who will give you the respect that you might be looking for..
even though the sex might be casual, to some girls its some sort of punishment or emotional crap they are exerting onto themselves.
if you are lucky (to be somewhat inbetween the queue) you might miss the shit when she one day explode. Got a friend who thought wow he got a wonderful fuck buddy (his colleague), play until sibei song then one day she became possessive, want him to divorce his wife if not she will ruin his work life.
09-02-2012, 01:51 AM
thank you for your well thought out reply! Really appreciates that!
I Have Let Her Mindfucked Me, Now I Will Let Her Mindfuck You.. 
