Need advice on sex life

[pharoh_15]

Originally Posted by marzsomeone

Nope she is my one and only. Our guess is also the mind part but I have no clue how to overcome it.

We never skip foreplaying till she is dripping wet.

How about oral sex on each other? Are u guys able to climax from it? Since u diy, sex of course is more physical and the feeling different. Just close your eyes and think of what you fancy when you're pumping her, like when you diy. Find the position that gives you the best feel..

[samster101]

Originally Posted by marzsomeone

My main issue is unable to reach climax before my little brother softens.

TS,
This looks like a medical problem, not a sex problem. Unlikely erectile dysfunction. More like androgen deficiency, which explains your low libido. Low production of testosterones. There are some factors that causes it eg lifestyle (stress), age etc.

Yes, you should attend to it before it worsens and affects your relationship with your wife. Suggest you see a doc. There are simple solutions like Testosterone patches.

[Lennyberg]

Dear TS,

I used to have this problem some what like yours. Halfway through my lit bro goes limp. One of the key reasons is because I was running outta breathe.

I am a person who put on and loses weight very easily.. I traced my problem back to my weight gain as I never had this problem before that.

I am bone heavy. perfect weight for me is 75kg+/- as I stand only at 1.73m. When I had that problem I was almost 90kg. Intense work started to lose the weight, when i managed to drop back to 78kg. everything went back to normal.

I am not sure if this is one of your reasons why but I am sharing my personal experience. Try exercising and have sufficient rest. Do managed your work stress. Sex is supposed to be enjoyable, dont overstress. Enjoy the process.

[marzsomeone]

@fun11142 & @Pharoh_15,
My wife is kinda not into oral or sex toy. Haha, she is not so adventurous in the sex area. More down to earth and simple kind. Guess watching porn together is her current limit.

@samster101 & @lennyberg
I guess exercise is kinda the solution i have to explore to lose weight and increase testosterone level. I am at 170cm 80kg mark

[eche124]

TS,

I suppose you need to know what both of you enjoy of each other. It takes two hands to clap.

She needs to understand you and vice versa. No point you achieving something and she's left hanging too. I agree with some bros asking you to take it out of the bedroom. Since you both are now husband and wife, there should be nothing for you to be embarrassed about. So just let it go, and do as per you both wish and not hold back.

Just my own opinion of course. Hope it helps. (:

[Lennyberg]

Originally Posted by marzsomeone

@fun11142 & @Pharoh_15,
My wife is kinda not into oral or sex toy. Haha, she is not so adventurous in the sex area. More down to earth and simple kind. Guess watching porn together is her current limit.

@samster101 & @lennyberg
I guess exercise is kinda the solution i have to explore to lose weight and increase testosterone level. I am at 170cm 80kg mark

There a few ways i did to cut weight for improved sex life.

1) Started running again. I was a sub 8min for 2.4km during my army days. used to be able to run 2 rounds of the reservoir. I picked up that habit again. Running not only helps u lose weight the fastest, it helps to de-stress as well as train your stamina. (bed exercises stamina included.)

2) Cut down on ciggs.

3) cut down on caffeine.

4) Sleep early

5) Leave work at work.

6) Cut down on rice. (Serious/ Very important)

Do try.

[marzsomeone]

Originally Posted by eche124

TS,

I suppose you need to know what both of you enjoy of each other. It takes two hands to clap.

She needs to understand you and vice versa. No point you achieving something and she's left hanging too. I agree with some bros asking you to take it out of the bedroom. Since you both are now husband and wife, there should be nothing for you to be embarrassed about. So just let it go, and do as per you both wish and not hold back.

Just my own opinion of course. Hope it helps. (:

Haha sure will inject some naughty session out of bedroom some day. Guess we missed that out after marriage.

[marzsomeone]

Originally Posted by Lennyberg

There a few ways i did to cut weight for improved sex life.

1) Started running again. I was a sub 8min for 2.4km during my army days. used to be able to run 2 rounds of the reservoir. I picked up that habit again. Running not only helps u lose weight the fastest, it helps to de-stress as well as train your stamina. (bed exercises stamina included.)

2) Cut down on ciggs.

3) cut down on caffeine.

4) Sleep early

5) Leave work at work.

6) Cut down on rice. (Serious/ Very important)

Do try.

#1 is achievable, I am planning to pick up running again.
#2 & #3 are already out as I am a non smoker and not a coffee fan. But maybe will reduce tea and soft drinks perhaps.
#4 isn't easy as I will usually tug my wife to bed before I sleep and she is a late sleeper. If I rest early, my snore will affect her as she is a light sleeper.
#5 no issue for me. Haha I already cut work off personal life.
#6 shucks i am a 饭桶, how did you manage that?

[Lennyberg]

Originally Posted by marzsomeone

#1 is achievable, I am planning to pick up running again.
#2 & #3 are already out as I am a non smoker and not a coffee fan. But maybe will reduce tea and soft drinks perhaps.
#4 isn't easy as I will usually tug my wife to bed before I sleep and she is a late sleeper. If I rest early, my snore will affect her as she is a light sleeper.
#5 no issue for me. Haha I already cut work off personal life.
#6 shucks i am a 饭桶, how did you manage that?

Hahaha!
#6 I went cold turkey, replaced rice with bee hoon. Perhaps you can start by cutting off during dinner. Eat rice only during lunch. Also, eat plenty of fruits.

#4 used to be hard for me as I also will wait for my wife to sleep together. after a few years into the marriage. I no choice, turned in before her as i have to wake up earlier to send the kid off to school etc. I used to be the sort who sleep at 2230 before marriage. my wife is the sort who sleeps past 0000. She did compromised a little sleep at 2330. but i guess old habits die hard. nowadays by 2300 im gone. while she will be toying with her phone till maybe 2330 or after.

Oh yes, my wife complains that i snore. like a train. she use in ear headphones to block off the snores. Hahahaha! enough to block off my snores but when the kids scream she can hear them anyways. maybe you can ask your wife to try.

[marzsomeone]

Originally Posted by Lennyberg

Hahaha!
#6 I went cold turkey, replaced rice with bee hoon. Perhaps you can start by cutting off during dinner. Eat rice only during lunch. Also, eat plenty of fruits.

#4 used to be hard for me as I also will wait for my wife to sleep together. after a few years into the marriage. I no choice, turned in before her as i have to wake up earlier to send the kid off to school etc. I used to be the sort who sleep at 2230 before marriage. my wife is the sort who sleeps past 0000. She did compromised a little sleep at 2330. but i guess old habits die hard. nowadays by 2300 im gone. while she will be toying with her phone till maybe 2330 or after.

Oh yes, my wife complains that i snore. like a train. she use in ear headphones to block off the snores. Hahahaha! enough to block off my snores but when the kids scream she can hear them anyways. maybe you can ask your wife to try.

Haha sure will ask her to try. I thought reducing weight and exercise helps with reducing snoring too?

Ya I will try to cut my rice intake. Haha tough meals ahead but for a better sex life

[Lennyberg]

Originally Posted by marzsomeone

Haha sure will ask her to try. I thought reducing weight and exercise helps with reducing snoring too?

Ya I will try to cut my rice intake. Haha tough meals ahead but for a better sex life

I guess I am simply super tired every night...

[marzsomeone]

Originally Posted by Lennyberg

I guess I am simply super tired every night...

Haha thanks again. Will try out and post my results

[Lennyberg]

Originally Posted by marzsomeone

Haha thanks again. Will try out and post my results

good luck and preserve!

[basara_evil]

Bro, i have read tru the entire thread and i noticed one main issue.

Almost every advise given by our helpful brothers are similar in one main thing... its advise given to YOU. advise given for YOU to take action.
Non are about your wife. (no, i do not means about those that advise you on what action to perform on your wife)

Always remember, sex is a two person thing (unless it's your left/right
hand you're talking about lah...)

You need to ASK her to open up to you, what is it she wants or thinks she wants... coz from what u have written, my impression is she really isnt saying what she wants. maybe she do not know, or maybe she is STILL too shy to tell you despite you being her husband already.

This can happens to couples who never do it before marriage (one of the main reason why i only find gf who will do it before marriage). It tends to cultivate a mentality that it is a very embarrassing issue, and as u know, most girls are too embarrassed to admit they have faults in this.

bottom point is, you need to think of a way to get her to be real real 100% honest with you.

either that, or go see one of those sex specialist (yes they do exist). do it in front of the specialist, him/her can tell you better what is it you are doing wrong or what issue/problems you two have

[randyrockhard]

The conditions that you have mentioned may have several probable causes.

1. If you are overweight = low metabolism = may affect your hormone level. So one solution is exercising & change your diet. My father kept on warning me, that if I got fatter and fatter, I would have sex performance problem.

He was right. I then lose weight, and I noticed an improvement in my stamina and energy level. If after doing all that you still have a problem, you may want to see a physician to measure your testosterone level.

My diet change method is first by gradually substituting white rice with brown rice. If you eat at home, this could be manageable. Half white + Half brown, until you could enjoy the taste of full brown rice. Then, I also cut down on sugary drinks/snacks. You could also try Gyokuro Japanese Green Tea. And if you want to take it another level, try taking a spoonful of Apple Cider vinegar first thing in the morning when you wake up. This would help to suppress your appetite by coating the stomach. By doing all these things, I managed to lose 12 kg in 3 months.

2. Losing erectile function could also be caused if you are consuming blood-thinning medications (e.g. Aspirin or its derivatives for battling high-blood pressure). Please do consult your doctor if they are affecting your sexual performance.

3. If you are stressed and do not have enough rest. Relaxed, change the scenery, rest properly.

Hope that helps.