I caught my hubby

[cassano10]

Question. What's wrong with looking for whores?

But again, if ts is milking her husband of his sperms daily, he probably loses the urge to look for WL elsewhere...

[~iOOi~]

Originally Posted by hiswife

I know this probably belongs to some women forum but I figure why not ask the men themselves.

Long story short, I found out that my husband has been seeing prostitutes in the last 2.5 years and flipped out. He said he's sorry and will not do that again. He's willing to let me monitor all his finance and online/phone activities.

I'm pretty sure my husband is not the first men to have been caught. To those who have been caught, did you really change?

I want to know whether I can trust him that he will not do that again.

Since TS is asking in a men forum, I will comment as follow.

That shows that the is a healthy and normal. How old are you guys btw? Just remind him to play safe with raincoat on...

Or TS can up the bedroom skill to satisfy whatever his hubby would ask for. That would quench his thirst for outside sex

[ADTHub]

Originally Posted by hiswife

I haven't told a single soul in real life, he said telling others would be akin to not giving him any chance to change.

My idea of marriage is not that sacred. I think life is too short to stay with someone who does not love you. I don't want him to just provide for the family, I need to be loved, wanted and desired.

Seem like he want to have the marriage and still have his fun possible....These days ppl live in YOLO lifestyle (You only live once)

[kaiserwalker]

Dear T.S ,
My sis had a similar case as yours, but instead of pros, her husband had an affair. Though its was a short one, but it ended up destroying her marriage.
Like you , she never tell a single soul, suffered all by herself.
They are never the same after the incident. Sleeping diff room, seldom talk etc etc . The husband drag on the marriage for two more years before finally agree on the divorce. By then my sis already got depression and finally ended her life just last month.(oct 2016) Now the husband , going around doing donations, can't sleep , go and pray to her at mandai daily saying he loves her ... but it just too late.

It is sad to see life tragedy, but it happens. So think carefully for you next cause of action. Divorce - can you accept living alone ? its easier said than done.
I do not know your character personally, as you mention you cant forget ... please do not use the " prostitutes" blame if he's back late or on any occasion that he miss your call,... it just expedite the separation.
At least you try to save the marriage but seeing you here seeking point of views, means it hasn't untie your heart's knots.
Try to see him as a person fairly - like character, is he responsible as a husband , a good hearted person , etc etc and not just base on him visiting a pro. Then ask yourself if you want grow old with him.
At the same time look at yourself subjectively.Though you did ask him , i doubt he will tell the truth about you as he already being caught red handed any hurtful things he said will push you away ... when he said he will change means he want the marriage to stay intact.
Access your option and choose the best that you can live with, but not the one that is politically correct . Your life , your choice , no regret.

[randyrockhard]

"My husband. What can I do to make your day better?"

[Uncle2015]

Very sad.

One man pleasure is another man death sentence.

Originally Posted by kaiserwalker

Dear T.S ,
My sis had a similar case as yours, but instead of pros, her husband had an affair. Though its was a short one, but it ended up destroying her marriage.
Like you , she never tell a single soul, suffered all by herself.
They are never the same after the incident. Sleeping diff room, seldom talk etc etc . The husband drag on the marriage for two more years before finally agree on the divorce. By then my sis already got depression and finally ended her life just last month.(oct 2016) Now the husband , going around doing donations, can't sleep , go and pray to her at mandai daily saying he loves her ... but it just too late.

It is sad to see life tragedy, but it happens. So think carefully for you next cause of action. Divorce - can you accept living alone ? its easier said than done.
I do not know your character personally, as you mention you cant forget ... please do not use the " prostitutes" blame if he's back late or on any occasion that he miss your call,... it just expedite the separation.
At least you try to save the marriage but seeing you here seeking point of views, means it hasn't untie your heart's knots.
Try to see him as a person fairly - like character, is he responsible as a husband , a good hearted person , etc etc and not just base on him visiting a pro. Then ask yourself if you want grow old with him.
At the same time look at yourself subjectively.Though you did ask him , i doubt he will tell the truth about you as he already being caught red handed any hurtful things he said will push you away ... when he said he will change means he want the marriage to stay intact.
Access your option and choose the best that you can live with, but not the one that is politically correct . Your life , your choice , no regret.

[hiswife]

Thanks for the replies. Looks like many are of the opinions that looking for prostitutes are not a problem. I've a hard time telling whether the replies are from men or women though.

To the men, i would like to know: If you think that visiting prostitutes are ok, does your wife know OR do you think she will never find out? OR if she ever finds out, you will just divorce her if she does not accept that?

To fellow sisters out there: If you think that visiting prostitutes are ok, do you mean you do not mind your husband doing that OR do you think you don't mind but you think your husband will never do that?

If you're horny, you need a release. I do get it. I'm horny and wasn't getting enough too. However, I do want to point out one thing. If you're not getting enough from your wife, perhaps you should try to talk to her first before going outside. I know many mentioned that the "wives" have not been treating them well. BUT have you been treating your wife well too? Did you ask " Wife, what can I do to make your day better?"

[hiswife]

Originally Posted by kaiserwalker

Dear T.S ,
My sis had a similar case as yours, but instead of pros, her husband had an affair.
By then my sis already got depression and finally ended her life just last month.

I'm sorry to hear about your sister, may she RIP. I wish men could be more aware of the potential consequences of their actions

[sammyboyfor]

Originally Posted by hiswife

I'm sorry to hear about your sister, may she RIP. I wish men could be more aware of the potential consequences of their actions

It works both ways. I had a friend who took his life too because his wife's infidelity caused his life to spiral out of control. He lost his wife, his children, his job and his money.

"Men" aren't the problem "humans" are.

[Vectra]

Originally Posted by sammyboyfor

It works both ways. I had a friend who took his life too because his wife's infidelity caused his life to spiral out of control. He lost his wife, his children, his job and his money.

"Men" aren't the problem "humans" are.

Agreed with boss. There are so many incidents happened around, just a few cases cannot stereotype the whole world is men is the main culprit cheating...

To TS, there is no right answer for the question(s) you are seeking. Just do what you deem right...

[Vectra]

Originally Posted by hiswife

Thanks for the replies. Looks like many are of the opinions that looking for prostitutes are not a problem. I've a hard time telling whether the replies are from men or women though.

To the men, i would like to know: If you think that visiting prostitutes are ok, does your wife know OR do you think she will never find out? OR if she ever finds out, you will just divorce her if she does not accept that?

To fellow sisters out there: If you think that visiting prostitutes are ok, do you mean you do not mind your husband doing that OR do you think you don't mind but you think your husband will never do that?

If you're horny, you need a release. I do get it. I'm horny and wasn't getting enough too. However, I do want to point out one thing. If you're not getting enough from your wife, perhaps you should try to talk to her first before going outside. I know many mentioned that the "wives" have not been treating them well. BUT have you been treating your wife well too? Did you ask " Wife, what can I do to make your day better?"

Hi TS, if you are long enough here to have read thread on all the forms of relationship, u will seen many diff outcome and reactions.

Everyone has different cards (problems) on hands, a solution offer may not be one that can solve yours. Hope things turn out well for you

[innocentindeed]

Oh no hope things get better between both of you! Must be a difficult time now.

[a2014]

Originally Posted by hiswife

Looks like many are of the opinions that looking for prostitutes are not a problem.

Looking for a prostitutes is not really an option, I guess he is addicted. To change it takes time and effort or rather can he, that's the question he need to answer himself.

Originally Posted by hiswife

To the men, i would like to know: If you think that visiting prostitutes are ok.

YES and NO, depends on individual. Prostitute is a free for all stuff. Not all man likes it.

Originally Posted by hiswife

I'm horny and wasn't getting enough too.

That I don't know because you did not describe when you are horny and what you do and why he is not interested. This question I guess at this point you have to answer yourself.

Originally Posted by hiswife

If you're not getting enough from your wife, perhaps you should try to talk to her first before going outside. I know many mentioned that the "wives" have not been treating them well. BUT have you been treating your wife well too? Did you ask " Wife, what can I do to make your day better?"

Maybe there are a portion of woman that didn't like sex, if you don't meet one, you don't know. If guys meet one, it will have to depend on how steady is that guy to manage that.

Based on what you describe your husband I guess it's an addiction issue and not that he is not interested in you or do not love you. I guess your sex life with him is still fine but he has the tendency of going out.

If he doesn't stay on with the same prostitute, then it means he love the gfe feeling of different woman which does not means you are not good but more of his habit and addiction.

The more you confront him with angry tone the more it will turn him off. Once in a blue moon he goes visit one I guess you can still close one eye, but if he goes frequently I don't see how you can cool down really. Not sure if it helps if you speak with him nicely. Maybe he likes to speak dirty and sexy phase which most decent girls don't do. The question is how often, don't speculate as this is not health for both of you.

[hiswife]

Originally Posted by sammyboyfor

It works both ways. I had a friend who took his life too because his wife's infidelity caused his life to spiral out of control. He lost his wife, his children, his job and his money.

"Men" aren't the problem "humans" are.

You're right, anyone could betray their spouses, women included. I'm sorry about your friend too, suicide is never the answer

[hiswife]

Originally Posted by Vectra

u will seen many diff outcome and reactions.

Hope things turn out well for you

Originally Posted by innocentindeed

Oh no hope things get better between both of you! Must be a difficult time now.

Originally Posted by a2014

YES and NO, depends on individual. Prostitute is a free for all stuff. Not all man likes it.

The question is how often, don't speculate as this is not health for both of you.

Thanks for the well wishes. I supposed everyone is different and there are indeed some who have changed for the better. Things are going pretty well now so there's hope. We have neglected to work on our marriage for so long that we're like roommates with kids. Now we're catching up on lost time. He said it's not too late, we still have many "tens" of years to be together.

I still won't accept prostitution though. You can't have that without sacrificing your commitment to your family. Time, money, attention, exposure to STD etc.. Well, unless I get to sleep around too but in that case, what's the point of staying married?