Bro help! i screw up big time.... - Page 3

dirtyhairy · #31 21-01-2007, 10:54 AM

Yo Bro J,

Ok, me no social worker nor counsellor but my tips are based on true experience. So here goes...
First u r dammed lucky yr gf is not related to my in-law otherwise, man u'll find yr teeth in yr stomach liao for even raising yr hand on a gal, esp their kin. That's how fierce they can be...and the beating may not happen today but someday later or weeks, even mths afterwards when u least expect it while walking down the street...that's how caculatively devious the ex-triads people can be.
Seriously tho, what u did is most despicable...violence and against someone weaker. and violence will beget violence...so the next time, u feel the urge, man do like I what used to do when I was younger and with more teeth...hehehe...I punched the floor..that way only u get hurt and the floor get damaged but atleast no one else will.

But more seriously now, the best is to grit yr teeth and just walk away...like I do nowadays each time I see smoke coming out either from my ears or the other party... Believe me..it is better bcos it is so unnecessary to blow one's top. Many trouble canbe prevented if one just cool it, by walking away. Once things have calmed down, return and talks things over..you'll be surprised how often things work out when both parties become rational when they cool down.
On patching up with yr GF, I think u still have hope! the fact that she stil answers yr call...is a good sign that she loves . So here is what u can do to apologise.
Sned her a good bouquet of flowers.. dont stint now... give her her favourite flowers with a nice sincere note saying I am very sory and how u ove her... and promise never ever to hit her. Be this the last time. Sned another bouquet three days later and another 4 days later... her heart will melt now.
But u have to be sincere and never ever to be violent bcos if it happens again..it will be final.
While the social workers among us here have claimed that yr violent temper would not stop u from hitting out again, I think like orgasm, it's in the mind...u CAN control it. It's yr life, live it right, live it well without ciolence.
Peace on Your Brother...and hopefully I get an invite to your wedding.
Bro DirtyHairy,
Always horny but into safe-sex only...so any good one 4 me?

cheeky-cheeky · #32 21-01-2007, 11:06 AM

Bro

Many had said so much so I think I dun have to say too much again... Just on my own personal opinion...

You dun have to wait for her decision to decide whether to attend anger management or not. Its you we talking about not her, its for your own good not for her. You guys will not believe what the course can do for you, trust me...

Thats all I can say for you and advise you now... the rest is up to you...

Bro SJG

I depise guy who beat gals but sometimes we just have to open up and be helpful at times... understand what you went thru those situation are different. Here someone had come to seek help and seems remorse... we shall see if he dun think he need to attend the course or must wait for the gal decision before he take the course then I dun think he deserve any help... instead all should throw stone at him...

Shuang_Jie_Gun · #33 21-01-2007, 11:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheeky-cheeky

\Bro SJG

I depise guy who beat gals but sometimes we just have to open up and be helpful at times... understand what you went thru those situation are different. Here someone had come to seek help and seems remorse... we shall see if he dun think he need to attend the course or must wait for the gal decision before he take the course then I dun think he deserve any help... instead all should throw stone at him...

well,i may sound a bit harsh but regarding this issue i wont hold back with my comments.Facts are still facts,no pt crying over splilt milk.I did mentioned gd luck to him didn't I ?

suckerll · #34 21-01-2007, 11:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SDMM

You are a wife beater fullstop
Guess it boosted your ego big time when you hands met flesh huh?
Guys like you are not meant to be married

i fully agree, u hit the gal means u only love urself the most

justwanadoit · #35 21-01-2007, 11:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dirtyhairy

Yo Bro J,

Ok, me no social worker nor counsellor but my tips are based on true experience. So here goes...
First u r dammed lucky yr gf is not related to my in-law otherwise, man u'll find yr teeth in yr stomach liao for even raising yr hand on a gal, esp their kin. That's how fierce they can be...and the beating may not happen today but someday later or weeks, even mths afterwards when u least expect it while walking down the street...that's how caculatively devious the ex-triads people can be.
Seriously tho, what u did is most despicable...violence and against someone weaker. and violence will beget violence...so the next time, u feel the urge, man do like I what used to do when I was younger and with more teeth...hehehe...I punched the floor..that way only u get hurt and the floor get damaged but atleast no one else will.

But more seriously now, the best is to grit yr teeth and just walk away...like I do nowadays each time I see smoke coming out either from my ears or the other party... Believe me..it is better bcos it is so unnecessary to blow one's top. Many trouble canbe prevented if one just cool it, by walking away. Once things have calmed down, return and talks things over..you'll be surprised how often things work out when both parties become rational when they cool down.
On patching up with yr GF, I think u still have hope! the fact that she stil answers yr call...is a good sign that she loves . So here is what u can do to apologise.
Sned her a good bouquet of flowers.. dont stint now... give her her favourite flowers with a nice sincere note saying I am very sory and how u ove her... and promise never ever to hit her. Be this the last time. Sned another bouquet three days later and another 4 days later... her heart will melt now.
But u have to be sincere and never ever to be violent bcos if it happens again..it will be final.
While the social workers among us here have claimed that yr violent temper would not stop u from hitting out again, I think like orgasm, it's in the mind...u CAN control it. It's yr life, live it right, live it well without ciolence.
Peace on Your Brother...and hopefully I get an invite to your wedding.
Bro DirtyHairy,
Always horny but into safe-sex only...so any good one 4 me?

thanks bro, u the best among many who advise me. thakns for ur well wishes.

I am repentant , what i mean to bro landlord is i want counselling but will arrange for it after her decision, right now in my uncertain state of mind and heart, dun think i can concentrate on any course.

sorry to all bros, but sometimes if u placed urself in my shoes, some of those comments just leave me with a dead end, i know i have a temper problem and u just repaet something i know. i am not a wife beater but some of u prophesy that i am.

I am not and i going counselling and do whatever, walk away from the quarrels to make sure of that!

Shuang_Jie_Gun · #36 21-01-2007, 11:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by suckerll

i fully agree, u hit the gal means u only love urself the most

never at any reason should a guy hit a gal.this is what i always strongly believe.

Shuang_Jie_Gun · #37 21-01-2007, 11:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by justwanadoit

thanks bro, u the best among many who advise me. thakns for ur well wishes.

I am repentant , what i mean to bro landlord is i want counselling but will arrange for it after her decision, right now in my uncertain state of mind and heart, dun think i can concentrate on any course.

sorry to all bros, but sometimes if u placed urself in my shoes, some of those comments just leave me with a dead end, i know i have a temper problem and u just repaet something i know. i am not a wife beater but some of u prophesy that i am.

I am not and i going counselling and do whatever, walk away from the quarrels to make sure of that!

u r free to choose which advice that best suits ur ears or eyes in this instance.We (the opposition grp) say our piece,u may turn them into deaf ears but we are merely stating our point of views.Do hope u sincerely repent and should u have a third chance,do cherish it dearly with both hands and never repeat the mistake u did.

Rof|maoxz · #38 21-01-2007, 11:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dirtyhairy

Yo Bro J,

Wah bro, you came back from overseas? Titts wanna says "welcome back"

dirtyhairy · #39 21-01-2007, 11:20 AM

Yo Bro J again,

I forgot to add...No I dont believe u r a wife beater!
The fact that u own up and openly too in this colum shows there's plenty of hopeful rays in you.

So To discourage u from thinking that u r hopeless and there's a violent streak forever in you...just think of the fierce tiger! if it can be trained...so can your temper be contained. Believe in yrself, and dont let so-called experts tell you otherwise... they can be wrong too!

For starters...practice rage control management... count to 10 b4 u flare up. It helps. Yes, go for counselling if u reckon u need it but otherwise reading joke books and lovey-dovey stories esp those with good endings and about good over evil... help lots. How do I know?...I was once a violent person....u will see what I mean when u see the scars on all oevr me.. from the beatings I received for being too aggressive!

I am now so meek...I wont hurt the mosquito sucking my blood u know...hehehehe. Good luck.

Bro DirtyHairy,
Always horny but into safe-sex only...so any good lobang 4 me?

Lastly....I think u love

dirtyhairy · #40 21-01-2007, 11:33 AM

Yo Bro R,

Ya, me back for shortwhile to recuperate from injured kukuchia..but may have to go again....bin bzzzz..sian man me poor delivery lorry driver kena push here and there to send goodies when my old man boss suspect me fooling around GL...may be must be the goddam cameras and press reports. sigh..
Thanx Bro Titts for the fone no.. will need to fidn time to drink kopi...on me do problem...u welcome too and any friendly bros...but need to find time/date to do so. May be u guys can arrrange.
Cheers
Bro DHairy,
always horny but into safe-sex only...so any god lobang 4 me?
BTway, Bro J.. I meant to say you still love yr gal...at the foot of my previous post but I missed editing it out...so no lah.. I am straight..I am not thinking of your arse...but yr gf's parents may be to roast it if u dont act fast to win her over! Cheers.

vader69 · #41 21-01-2007, 11:50 AM

You screwed up BIG time when you slapped her the 1st time.... No decent man will lay his hand on his woman no matter what.

Now you did that the 2nd time. What make you think that when u asked her for forgiveness the 2nd time, you will not slap her the 3rd time, 4th time??? And you claim that you love her? Wake up and face the reality slap does not equate to love...

The 2nd slap is on your search for a banquet for your big moment and you can lose control over this? The search is one part of an equation of life, you have many years ahead.

Get some form of help on anger management before you get married because if you do not, divorce do not come cheap and you will be at losing end due to the woman's charter.

Onyx2Rock · #42 21-01-2007, 12:18 PM

Bro, everything happen for a reason!

If like what u said, u well natured and not hot type... then are u angry with her over unresolved issues??

Or Simply there is something hidden to be work out??

Saying sorry is not the best solution, so are compromising.... for the long run... in organising a event u already cant reach resolution... there is something for u to find out about YOU, YOUR GF AND THE SITUATION U GUYS ARE IN...

screamer · #43 21-01-2007, 12:34 PM

counselling

ahben · #44 21-01-2007, 12:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thomas88

Let me say this in fairness.....you've slapped her twice already even before you're married. Mark my words...you'll slap her even more once she's your wife.

The only solution is get her to bring you to seek a psychiatric help in controlling your temper as a sign of your sincerity. That's the only way to regain her confidence in you.

You must learn never never ever lift your finger on a girl regardless of whatever relationship she has with you.

I totally agreed with thomas88, you have to find psychological help as there maybe some cognitive developments towards aggressive behaviour and you need to change that in order to win her back.

By doing this, u could get a chance of a live time that she is re-consider again to be with you. Make sure u enter a program and show her that you are doing that with her or maybe even bring her along to see what's the best way to help in the areas involving both of you to cause you to react that way.

Just my 2 cent worth.
Wish you all the best.

ct75 · #45 21-01-2007, 12:46 PM

It is now not about your gf..... as some here have said you did it not once but twice.

To raise your hand against a person that you know cannot defend themself is a sign of a anger management problem. Did you feel a rush when you got more and more mad, did everything go blank and you just felt your hand move and down it went? If you did... u are almost there. It is not about this girl, it is about any future person you meet. Another girl, your kids, your maid?

See a doc dude.... and dont wait for your gf decision. If you really want... you might want to let her know that you saw a shrink and what he told you. Maybe even see together. It shows you are sincere about being a better man. Maybe she will forgive you cos she loves you deeply or maybe she might not... but end of the day it is for your own good.