The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?

[surfer888]

Originally Posted by suteerak1099

i guess we've probably heard the gd old saying, "expect the least expected"... or perhaps in some cases, "expect not, what's to be expected".

the more 1 yearns for something/someone, the more it eludes. yet, just when you never meant for rendezvous... fate, has its queerest means of teasing/toying with us.

Fate can be cruel sometimes. Just a few days back, I was driving and stopped at a traffic light when it turned red... and there she was, the love of my life from a distant land... crossing the road and just walked past my car. Mind you, it was a quiet road with not much pedestrian traffic and she does not live in SG but was just down for a couple of days to visit relatives. I was so shocked I did not know what to do.

Fortunately, she called me a few days later and we met up. Told her about the incident and she was shocked as well... destiny???

[surfer888]

Originally Posted by Deep Blue

Just remember, when you are playing the ball, the ball may be playing you as well.

I'd just be glad if my ball gets played by her more often.

[surfer888]

Originally Posted by jinrenhe

sometimes i ponder should we hence approach love in a more rational and less emotional way... example would be cast our net wider in knowing more gals, but do not put all ur heart & effort on a single one to prevent urself from getting hurt (i.e. getting poor return for ur investment of time & effort)

Remember that poor returns in this aspect could mean not marrying the one you love the most... but at least you end up married... not sure if that's a good thing though.

Originally Posted by jinrenhe

Emotions is not something which can be controlled and how do u measure ur return from love? Does it mean i have to make her my GF before it's considered a positive return on my "investment"?

Not too easy to measure... also depends if you are just going for capital gains (not taxable as well) or regular dividend yields. On a lighter note, the more often you get to 3rd base, the costs gets amortized faster and you can cut your losses earlier.

Originally Posted by jinrenhe

So now i try to focus on the process, the interaction with her, rather than jus on the outcome. Even though we didn't end up together, i did thorougly enjoy every moment i spend with her... that's happiness also rite

Engineering Love can be extremely tiring... defies common laws of physics, mathematics, chemistry. Just when you think you've got it... it slippeds through your fingers. I'm just trying to sit back and enjoy the process without getting too hurt. Can't get so technical all the time.

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by ansonlky

Since when u becam a rappist bro haahah. By the way what is 1099? some codeword? Coz i see redboy also bearing 1099.. hahahah

1099?? hehehe.. its a secret for me to know.. but i guess none will ever find out haha. redboy have the same numbers? u gotta ask him liao... where he got inspired to use "1099"...

[BkkResident]

Originally Posted by suteerak1099

1099?? hehehe.. its a secret for me to know.. but i guess none will ever find out haha. redboy have the same numbers? u gotta ask him liao... where he got inspired to use "1099"...

Yours is a special code,his is his number of FOCs and counting.

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by Deztruct

totally agreed with ur this sentence...since we cant control fate..we can only hope for the best..watever happens always happen for a reason

bobian lah, some ppl say fate is a fantasy, but i see it as an important ingredient to spice up our mundane lives. fate creates the opportunity for ppl to brush shoulders, cross paths.. sometimes sprinkle some chemistry too. somethings predestined, somethings need to be achieved, others... its how 2 ppl from very different worlds compromise & work towards rendezvous.

watch channel 8 mon-fri 9pm: 凡间新仙人... 牛郎织女 episode ongoing... wierd coincidences that surrounds us daily - unexplained to some extent.

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by Deztruct

my frd once told me tat if u wan to forget someone..keep thinkin abt her day and nite...until to a pt of time..u will naturally feel like not thinkin of her lioa..

wah! that's something new... actually, the more 1 tries to forget about some1, the more he/she lingers in the mind. being pre-occupied with other things in life, can also be quite demoralizing. maybe a substitute could do the trick...

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by surfer888

I needed the safetywear as I have falling down for more than 10 yrs with the same girl. The worst part is that more than 50% of the time, I fall because I get pushed by her... plus get kicked by her when I'm down. Sometimes, I think I'm a sucker for punishment.

bro, i share 1 phrase that a fren once shared with me. made sense, and i think its applicable to many amongst us too.

“若懂得如何爱护她，更需要懂得如何爱护自己 + 生边更重要的人”

many a times, we get so muddle-headed, to the point where we love the gal to the extreme, so much so that we 4get to reserve some for ourselves, and perhaps to the point where we hurt the ppl around us, frens, family, pets.. etc. whatever the situation may be, we need to learn how to balance priorities as well. and if the gal is demanding too much, so much so that we neglect ourselves & folks & frens...

at the end of the day, gotta give yourself a reality check, ask if its of any good to incinerate the entire forest, just so u can savor & appreciate that 1 pathetic blade of grass.

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by surfer888

....Told her about the incident and she was shocked as well... destiny???

destiny... oh well, tell me about it... i once lost contact with my 1st love... how come? circumstances beyond circumstances... a transition phase where we're all changing from pager to mobile phone, a time when i had to serve NS, whilst her folks decided a change of residence, and she had to further her studies abroad, while i was having fun holding m16.

nearly 6yrs later, after our individual endeavors... disbelief beyond disbelief, we crossed path at pedestrian crossing (congested crowd), in orchard rd outside heeren ... both turned our heads grinning ear to ear, exchanged greetings, forgeting we're in the middle of the rd. traffic light turned green, cars horning, we dashed to the side of the rd to chat & exchange contacts...etc.

she's moved on with her smooth sailing life.... i felt like fool to have been trying for ages. took me awhile to get over it, but still, its experience gained, and things can only get better from thereon forth.

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by jinrenhe

..... sometimes i ponder should we hence approach love in a more rational and less emotional way... example would be cast our net wider in knowing more gals, but do not put all ur heart & effort on a single one to prevent urself from getting hurt (i.e. getting poor return for ur investment of time & effort)

bro, to begin with, there's no hard & fast rule as to how many we're limited to date/go out with. dating is just a process for 2ppl to have more 1 on 1 time to better know each other. and perhaps over a certain span of time spent together, grown to like each other... then labelled an item aka a couple.

so in this case, its just like research before 1 chooses the stocks/shares to invest upon.

Originally Posted by jinrenhe

Emotions is not something which can be controlled and how do u measure ur return from love? Does it mean i have to make her my GF before it's considered a positive return on my "investment"?

So now i try to focus on the process, the interaction with her, rather than jus on the outcome. Even though we didn't end up together, i did thorougly enjoy every moment i spend with her... that's happiness also rite

maybe i'm jus consoling myself...

having a gd time together when going on dates? well.. thats how its supposed to be, if it were boring, its called appointment, not date. but feeling happy when spending time together doesnt equate to both having feelings for each other.

at the end of the day, there's no 10yr series answer or sure win formula to establish love. chemistry unexplained i reckon...

[jng1103]

Originally Posted by suteerak1099

she's moved on with her smooth sailing life.... i felt like fool to have been trying for ages. took me awhile to get over it, but still, its experience gained, and things can only get better from thereon forth.

That's life... I dont see any reasons holding back the past. Move on and strive for a better life. Dont ever look back... Be it fate or destiny, we got to learn to live and live to learn.

jimbo

[surfer888]

Originally Posted by suteerak1099

nearly 6yrs later, after our individual endeavors... disbelief beyond disbelief, we crossed path at pedestrian crossing (congested crowd), in orchard rd outside heeren ... both turned our heads grinning ear to ear, exchanged greetings, forgeting we're in the middle of the rd. traffic light turned green, cars horning, we dashed to the side of the rd to chat & exchange contacts...etc.

she's moved on with her smooth sailing life.... i felt like fool to have been trying for ages. took me awhile to get over it, but still, its experience gained, and things can only get better from thereon forth.

I don't even bump into my Singaporean ex-gfs... that was why it struck me hard... having bumped into my true love who lives almost 8,000 airline miles away.

Fortunately/Unfortuately she has not moved on... and I guess no matter what... the fire has yet to be doused after all this time.

[surfer888]

Originally Posted by suteerak1099

many a times, we get so muddle-headed, to the point where we love the gal to the extreme, so much so that we 4get to reserve some for ourselves, and perhaps to the point where we hurt the ppl around us, frens, family, pets.. etc. whatever the situation may be, we need to learn how to balance priorities as well. and if the gal is demanding too much, so much so that we neglect ourselves & folks & frens...

at the end of the day, gotta give yourself a reality check, ask if its of any good to incinerate the entire forest, just so u can savor & appreciate that 1 pathetic blade of grass.

Its muddle-headed, alright. Sometimes I wonder if its retribution... after all, it was just days before we were supposed to meet her parents when I told her that I was going to marry someone else.

[surfer888]

Originally Posted by jng1103

That's life... I dont see any reasons holding back the past. Move on and strive for a better life. Dont ever look back... Be it fate or destiny, we got to learn to live and live to learn.

My brain learns from the past... my heart is another story.

[jng1103]

Originally Posted by surfer888

My brain learns from the past... my heart is another story.

Same old story... Most of the men who were conned by PRC women coz they got "heart". Does it mean, I dont have a heart? No... it means, I got both heart and brain

jimbo