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  #106  
Old 04-04-2005, 03:57 AM
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Re: Long Distance Tirak Relationship - Myth or Reality

Quote:
Originally Posted by thaivisitor
Of course her story with the support of her family has to be true lah... her dad the bad guy, etc, etc. And I haven't heard of one that will tell me the opposite. I mean "love is blind" so no matter what, step dad is the "father of the year", "love" will be the most filial daughter, everything will be "perfect".

BTW, why should she even think of "not asking for financial support from dad no matter how hard life becomes for her" since did is in deep financial crisis? This think shouldn't even have crossed her mind for her to mention? So the fact that it is mentioned is either dad is not in deep financial crisis, or she didn't mentioned this but you said it to make her look more "perfect"?
This story comes from the maternal side, yes I am aware and there'fore the dad will definitely be the badder guy. This story was known to me way before there was anything between Film and I. At that time, I was dating Dancer and Rain wasn't even in the horizon yet. Film had her own tirak too then and I knew about that during that time we were just ordinary friends . In fact we often confide our gf/bf problems in each other.

I am aware of Film's past, and even knew some people who knew her. What she has gone thru, as far as I am concerned, she has left it behind and that is good enough for me. Whatever you know, that is your privilege and I would appreciate it u do not bring it up here. Let her leave the past behind in peace. When I chose her, I did not do so with rose-tinted glasses and blind love. If anything, I had 3 other ladies to choose from, all as good or better from many perspectives. Like I had said, given an orthordox way of looking at things, esp the SGrean way, I have the least reasons to chose her. But I see beyond the obvious and the potential she has in her is good enough for me. I love her inspite of her past', and I was no angel anyway.

Quote:
Originally Posted by thaivisitor
Have it ever cross your mind that if you were to meet with real dad, some truth which was kept from you might appear? Of course it couldn't be. They are the perfect family and all else is in the wrong.

Do you want to me put out some "facts" here to show that dad is not so bad a guy afterall as compared to the "good and loving" stepfather? I haven't met them lah... but I do know of Film's history and I'm damn good at analysing
My only quarrel with her dad is that he should not have tried to get her to marry someone she is not keen on, plus he had been told of my existence and my relationship with her.S ure, any good dad wiould want his daughter to have a good husband but to base "good" simply on whether he got dough or not? Even if he is a playboy? How long will it before he dumps her and gets a mia noi? Does he even care? Maybe he is just being a Thai. But Film & I dun agree with the way he did it.

And to pressure her to go travel 4 hours in the vehicle barely 2 days after her operation (which I also had myself so I know full well) when she can hardly walk just to do what he wants is certainly very selfish to me. Fílm's reason for not want to go to him for financial support now was simple. It will also be the best excuse he has to reject her choice of me as her tirak. She is not in deep financial crisis now. I simply said she would rather not go to him for help, even if she is, cos she does not want to be beholden to him. That would be in line with the Film I know.

And this I can understand. I myself had the same apprehension about my own mother when I was in Uni cos she was rather money-faced then and does expect a ROI if I go to Uni on her funding. Plus some other personal reasons why I felt she was biased against me compared to my elder brother (obvious to all except her). Hence I did it on my own. Only years later did we reconcile as she was getting old, and I'd rather let bygones and I also can understand her reasons for being unfair to me when I was young, even though what she did to me was definitely wrong.

As for her real dad , I am aware that he may be facing some problems recently (not in the past), but unless he choose to work with me, I have no intention to help (even if I can), nor does she expects me to. Having said that, she does feel some stress cos he is after all her dad. That was what led to the smoking saga.

Also I have not said that the step-father brought her up. He took care of mum and his own 2 sons; Its granny that brought her up. That's why granny is the most impt person to her. But it would be right to say he is a good man. At least from my own observations, which I trust more than what anyone else can tell me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by thaivisitor
BTW, I even had Film's thai phone number even before you told me she's your tirak. And no, she doesn't know who I am.
I am not surprised if you have her number. I never said she was a sweet goody 2-shoes in her younger days. If I expect that, she wouldn't even be in my radar, let alone get chosen. Dancer's classmate would have topped the chart then. I have also said I accept her past cos it is over (and must remain over). That is why it took a lot to choose her. But I dun have any regrets this far, even when someone got hold of her number recently and left an sms. It did not bug me badly as I have already prepared myself that such things may happen, and it may not be totally within her control. I only want to know if she is still in contact with anyone voluntarily. In this case. I know for sure that she did not give that person her new number, and someone stupid galfriend of hers did. Whether she told me that is immaterial. It was the person who told me when I made contact, and that is what counts. So I knew she did not lie to me. For if she did, we wouldn't be together today.

However for my own benefit, I would appreciate it if you could pm me the number u have. I just want to know if that is the old number or the new number she has now. She has agreed that should the new number get out of control cos some of her stupid gal frds dun know how to maintain confidentiality and still pass it around when asked to, we will get it changed. There are still some friends who dun seem to understand that she has cut off her past, never to go back. I have made it clear to her that if these few frds cannot understand this simple desire of hers, and still continue to pass her number around, she has to cut these friends off. Else I can also accept them as my friends. In fact I just met one today and visited another with her in BKK. This situation - no compromise from me. It is her job to inform these friends that her hp no. is now confidential.

Quote:
Originally Posted by thaivisitor
And Also, don't get me wrong, I'm not discouraging you on your "mission of love", just telling you not to "see" or "paint" the relationsihp as one that is "perfect". Although you didn't say it was perfect, but in all of your posts, is there any element that isn't "perfect"?
It's ok. There is no need for me to hang out dirty linens in the public, right? As long as she has told me enough, and her past remains the past, I am ok. Never claimed she is perfect, nor am I perfect. As she IS TODAY, she is more than good enough for me. I have my past too and I think worse, my present. She is putting up with my PRESENT idiosyncracies which is not easyat all.. For example, barely 2-3 hrs ago, I went crazy for some stupid reasons that dun even concern her, but she bore the brunt of my frustrations and stress, cos she knows me well enough to know that I am not really venting it out on her. But in the heat of it, it was tough on her nevertheless. Even as I see her imperfections, she has helped me become more aware of my own. Anyway I rather have a woman with an imperfect past, but works hard to be a better person both for me and for herself, now and in the future. Rather than one with a seemingly perfect past, but turned out to be a temperamental monster. I learnt my lesson 1st hand, and it is enough.
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Last edited by free; 04-04-2005 at 04:16 AM.
  #107  
Old 04-04-2005, 06:13 AM
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Re: Long Distance Tirak Relationship - Myth or Reality

Quote:
Originally Posted by thaivisitor
You said you have not had any commercial sex while you are with Film. In January this year, you came to Hatyai. Although I was not around, you did book a girl from Kiss Lounge and you also did book a FL from Paragon Disco. Though you said you did not do anything in the room with the girls because you felt guilty when you thought of your "love", it is very hard to believe that you would take 2 girls and don't do anything with them. Moreover, from the girl's mouth, that wasn't the case. BTW, they have no reasons to lie whatsoever. Anyway, I'm not going to argue with you as to whose lying or whatever. And I also don't want to tell you things that I know to prove you wrong in your saying that "Film" is the only one in your heart and you are so faithful to her or whatever.
U missed out on one very important point in my story. I did say very clearly that in between relationships I can let myself go wild cos too much abstainence (DIY substitution oso got limitation right?). And that period in HY (my 1st time there) was when I was still rather nao jao and felt "unatttached" and felt I just wanted to get to know them better, cos it was not long after I walked off from Film and dated others. I did not "book" that gal "from" Kiss Lounge in the normal sense. I dun even know where is KISS lounge today. All I knew was she is a frnd of my nong and we met at her birthday party in our hotel and I found her interesting, cos cannot speak thai properly. But as I told u, the time with her was a disaster and there was no mood at all. In fact I told her she was rather rude. That is why I never called her the next day (went to Paragon instead) and she was pissed at me. Just told my Nong what happened a couple of days ago coz I never talked about it b4, as it was a bad experience. But I did tell my Nong while at Paragon that she called and was angry I did not want to meet her again. The one at Paragon Disco, I had a good time with. I still have her hp and we have been talking on and off until recently. She had invited me to visit her again over CNY when I was in BKK (alone for a couple of days) but I did not accept her invite, cos by then, my let-go period was about to be over. Before and over CNY (1 single trip), I had met with Film (for my birthday), then Dancer, stayed alone for 3 days (during election period. could have gone to HY if I wanted), and then spend another 4 days with Dancer's classmate, so u can see I was definitey not in a "Steady-State" mindset at that time yet. BTW, the hp of the 1st (rude) one, I deleted that same night she screamed at me for not calling her again. I still have the 2nd's even though I no longer called her.

Quote:
You told me you went for a medical checkup before you went up to be with your "love" and in the same conversation said you both went for medical checkups together. I didn't want to point your contradiction then.
I said I went for my checkup (in SG) and when I was there, I went together with her for her checkup sorry if I had caused u to misunderstand. I had to do mine first cos I had to made sure I have the neccesary protection against Hep B. Can't wait till I go up cos it takes 1 month for the immunity to set in.

Quote:
Also, I don't know what financial situation you are presently, but did you tell your "love" that your "advance cheque" nearly didn't come, and then some assistance was also handed out to you for your trip there as the advance isn't sufficient? It meant to say you actually couldn't afford that trip. BTW, had I known it earlier, I would have told you NOT to go as it is ridiculous to travel on borrowed funds, no matter how close the people are to you..
U know what? I did not hide the "almost didn't make it" thingy from her. That was the 1st thing I told her when she met me at Don Muang. That's why we plan the next trip further apart so that it dun happen again. Better make sure dough is in before making preparations/bookings. Else would not have discuipline ourselves and not go for Air Asias $1.99 offer.Ços other things still cost money.

Again, u mis-heard. I said my customer delayed his payment (for a completed job and enough to cover the trip and more) by 2 weeks and luckily another party gave me a consulting job, pre-paid. I had given a lot of free advice to this new party in the past and this was his way of repaying - prepay me for a job we had agreed upon, and he knew why I asked if he could prepay me. After all, he is my professor.

Quote:
What kind of impression your love and her family has of you? That you will be able to support them comfortably? I'm not talking about luxury. That your parents, relatives, siblings will be sure to love her and dote on her?

That is why I say you must bring her to SG and live with you for a couple of months to let her see for herself..
I know my own family well enough that they will be AOK with her. Other relatives, dun know but no reason to have to worry, cos got good precedence.

She knows I am not rích (hopefully only during this WIP period only) and that's one of the reasons why she is learning a useful skill (hey that cost money too) so that she can lighten my burden. She also knows that I am showing I trust her by sending her for the course that will help her to be financially independent of me and that I will not do that if I only wanted to possess her and not really love her. We should be able to make enough to live a decent live in BKK. And she had sort of gone thru a real dry period with me, when I did not provide a single cent esp during my Nao Jai period. Not long enough perhaps cos only 2 months but I had not given her an indication when the dry period would end, and her response was good enough for me at this point. At the time when I was "down and could not support her", she turned around to support me with all the encouragement I needed/wanted cos she said she wants to support me at the time when I can't support her cos to her that's when I needed her most. Do I need for her to go sell her body to feed me in order to prove herself? I think not. Am sure u won;t do that too. I knew how she struggled to survive, and the odd jobs she had to do, plus eating Mamas ever so often. Of course her sis helped out, and that's why even as I was mad at the sis, I have to be thankful too.

Quote:
Don't tell me that your "love" has said she will be with you thru "thick and thin" and whatever cos, it always have to be "thick" first, before she will go thru the "thin".
We dun know this answer yet, cos none of us have been tested sorely enough. What I know is that if it is money alone she is after, she had better choices. Marrying that rich kid is a nice convenient and easy option, for example. Or going back to her past, as she will have far less financial worries. I am not really her Prince in Shining armour, only the pauper who loves her and will do whatever within my means for her.

Quote:
Like I said, you had the opportunity to do your "research" and see whether she meets your requirement. But she has not.

I'm sorry what I have pointed out isn't delightful on the ears. But that's me, straight to the point and to the heart to make it as painful as possible. If you live thru it, you'll still got a chance, only a chance.
Dun worry, I welcome your wet blanket. It is not often that one finds a blanket that wet and it is a valuable find. The more arrows I can get from you and when the r/s still survives, the more sure I will be that it can last.

She will have her chance to do her research, its beginning soon. But we are not getting married tomorrow or next month. We are now only at the stage where we felt that we are the right person for each other and we want to work hard to complete the walk. Could be at least year away unless things turned out well faster than expected.
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Last edited by free; 04-04-2005 at 06:23 AM.
  #108  
Old 04-04-2005, 06:36 AM
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Re: Long Distance Tirak Relationship - Myth or Reality

Quote:
Originally Posted by thaivisitor
I'm surprise at your observations and conclusions, considering you are also one who have a thai tirak.

Anyway, I'm not doubting bro Free's story but I always take it with a pinch of salt.

KNN, gone are the days whereby a guy actually goes to see a girl's family to seek approval for marriage. Whether it is thailand or SG, it's the same. The guy and the girl already decide, and it is only "fomality". The girl brings the guy back to "show" them who she is with, not to seek approval. You mean to say if grandma or anybody doesn't approve of Free, the relationship is off? Please, spare me lah....

KNN both of them when decided to be with each other have already been slepping with each other, you think the girl so stupide if her marriage requires permission?
For my current case, definitely it is not a case of going to seek permission. You are right, it is more to show who I am and also for me to be assured that what she told me, is the truth (or a least seems to be). Because of her past, she felt she had to do that to assure me that she is for real. Staying in the house and interacting with the family/relatives and neighbours for a few days sure beats staying in an off-site hotel somewhere and visiting a couple of hrs a day. Enough opportunities to fish out anything that is fishy.

However, for Dancer's case, it may be so, and for Rain's case, it is 100% so. Yet the best part is Rain's family are city folks, not in the countryside. In fact Rain told me before I met with them that if her parents dun like me, nothing is ever going to start, and it has happened once to her already. They disapproved cos that guy seemed to not like her kid and they sensed it. Whereas I fell in love with her son, so to speak, and his feelings were mutual. That got the approval stamp from them. For R's case dun think needed as well. For Dancer's classmate, no idea at all, but mum already like me since she met me 2 yrs ago, so problem is irrelevant here,
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Last edited by free; 04-04-2005 at 06:46 AM.
  #109  
Old 04-04-2005, 03:56 PM
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Re: Long Distance Tirak Relationship - Myth or Reality

Quote:
Originally Posted by free
There are still some friends who dun seem to understand that she has cut off her past, never to go back. I have made it clear to her that if these few frds cannot understand this simple desire of hers, and still continue to pass her number around, she has to cut these friends off. Else I can also accept them as my friends. In fact I just met one today and visited another with her in BKK. This situation - no compromise from me. It is her job to inform these friends that her hp no. is now confidential.
Actually I was even more strict, if not meaner than that. I actually said that " if these few frds cannot understand this simple desire of hers (and mine as well), and still continue to pass her number around, she has to cut these friends off. If she cannot let go of these inconsiderate friends inspite of their continuing to create trouble for us, then they must be more important to her and I will as a result cut everyone off, INCLUDING her. But if they can understand and co=operate, I will accept them into my circle of friends and not Duu Tuuk (look down at) them at all". Everyone has a past that only they can do something about - cling to it, or let go of it. Film and I are chosing to let go of ours.
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  #110  
Old 05-04-2005, 01:30 AM
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Re: Long Distance Tirak Relationship - Myth or Reality

Quote:
Originally Posted by thaivisitor
I'm surprise at your observations and conclusions, considering you are also one who have a thai tirak.

Sorry Bro TV, I dun understand what you meant?
  #111  
Old 05-04-2005, 01:38 AM
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Re: Long Distance Tirak Relationship - Myth or Reality

Quote:
Originally Posted by free
Actually I was even more strict, if not meaner than that. I actually said that " if these few frds cannot understand this simple desire of hers (and mine as well), and still continue to pass her number around, she has to cut these friends off. If she cannot let go of these inconsiderate friends inspite of their continuing to create trouble for us, then they must be more important to her and I will as a result cut everyone off, INCLUDING her. But if they can understand and co=operate, I will accept them into my circle of friends and not Duu Tuuk (look down at) them at all". Everyone has a past that only they can do something about - cling to it, or let go of it. Film and I are chosing to let go of ours.
The problem with the thais are they are always very informative and gossiping is part and parcel of their life. So it's difficult for your girl to totally cut off all her friends. Just put yourself in her position, if you're alone without any friends how would you feel? Of course those bad friends shouldn't contact at all but if they meant no harm, I think it's okay cos dun tell me that you dun have a bad friend at all. I think we are mature enough to think and consider so not matter how you prevent also no use, it's the heart that counts. So just "Jai Yen Yen" over this issue.
  #112  
Old 05-04-2005, 01:50 AM
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Re: Long Distance Tirak Relationship - Myth or Reality

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bangkok Master
Sorry Bro TV, I dun understand what you meant?
I think it's a compliment to you for being observant.
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  #113  
Old 05-04-2005, 09:54 AM
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Re: Long Distance Tirak Relationship - Myth or Reality

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bangkok Master
The problem with the thais are they are always very informative and gossiping is part and parcel of their life. So it's difficult for your girl to totally cut off all her friends. Just put yourself in her position, if you're alone without any friends how would you feel? Of course those bad friends shouldn't contact at all but if they meant no harm, I think it's okay cos dun tell me that you dun have a bad friend at all. I think we are mature enough to think and consider so not matter how you prevent also no use, it's the heart that counts. So just "Jai Yen Yen" over this issue.
I think you got me wrong. I fully understand the TG's need to have friends to chitchat, go have fun with, etc. And I have no intention to cut her off from her frends. If anything, I worry about whether she has enough "real" friends who will give her support in times of needs. Her friends have often wanted her around for many reasons, mostly her neutral stand amongst the different groups of gals she know, and these groups may not be exactly cool with one another. With her around, they feel safe that there would be no trouble cos they will give her a certain amount of respect and not create problems with other groups. I have seen (when we re together) how she sometimes worries when she knows 2 conflicting groups are going to be at a certain place at the same time and she has rejected one (even both) invitation to join them. Frankly, I dun like it but that's the way things are and I have learnt to accept it. At least she is seen as leader or the "big & sensible sister" desipte her usually being amongst the youngest. From her, I get a pretty good idea of how many TGs do tend to gather in cliques, irregardless of who they are or what they do. Even decent gals get into fights sometimes. Must be the effect of alcohol, I think.

I am just glad she now has a great chance to make a whole new set of friends in her school, and she tells me about some of her new friends. As such I think it is reasonable for her to be more wary of "friends" who continually give her trouble.

I visit some of her friends together with her (irregardless of what work they do). Most of them are nice and they understand basic issues like once some is retired, they do go around giving out that person's new hp number, irregardless of who ask for it unless that person said they can. It is the few wayward "friends" who don't seem to understand what confidentiality means that worry us. To be fair we need to do our part to inform these friends and let them understand that the situation is different and she has no wish to receive unwelcomed calls and they should not help to make things worse. I think that is fair requests and if these so-called friends cannot even accomodate for whatever wierd reasons, it is easier to just cut them out, since they are in the small minority (maybe 1 out of 10, if not 20).
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Last edited by free; 05-04-2005 at 10:13 AM.
  #114  
Old 05-04-2005, 10:03 AM
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Re: Long Distance Tirak Relationship - Myth or Reality

Quote:
Originally Posted by MachoDevilX
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bangkok Master
Sorry Bro TV, I dun understand what you meant?
I think it's a compliment to you for being observant.
I believe TV was telling BM that gals who seek parents permission no longer exist today, and that BM should know better since he himself has a thai tirak.

My own personal perpective is that there are still exceptions, though few. I have personally experienced at least 1. I am sure that are others around.

All the other gals I know/dated DO seek their parents' (or key elders') endorsement for their with their chosen boyfriend when they become serious and are thinking of making the relationship permanent. Why? I guess it is only right and normal to do so. As I guy, I do the same myself. Haven't had the opportunity to meet one who just couldn't be bothered what her parents think. Would it be interesting to meet one? Nah, my love will "kill" me - I scared. Taa tam dtua eng mai tuuk, kao gor dtong sia jai. Tam mai dai, pror waa rak kao jang leuuy

Of couse the TG will prepare the ground 1st, telling them more about the bf and usually start initial contacts via telephone calls, so that by the time the actual visits take place, both parties have a fairly good idea of the other. ALL of them did that for me, and if there are any kids involved, they are similarly prepared too.

Bro BM, I believe the above is what you mean too, right?
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Last edited by free; 05-04-2005 at 10:20 AM.
  #115  
Old 05-04-2005, 10:19 AM
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Re: Long Distance Tirak Relationship - Myth or Reality

Quote:
Originally Posted by free

I visit some of her friends together with her (irregardless of what work they do). Most of them are nice and they understand basic issues like once some is retired, they do go around giving out that person's new hp number, irregardless of who ask for it unless that person said they can. It is the few wayward "friends" who don't seem to understand what confidentiality means that worry us. To be fair we need to do our part to inform these friends and let them understand that the situation is different and she has no wish to receive unwelcomed calls and they should not help to make things worse. I think that is fair requests and if these so-called friends cannot even accomodate for whatever wierd reasons, it is easier to just cut them out, since they are in the small minority (maybe 1 out of 10, if not 20).


One thing about thai gals (including sg gals). They value their friends’ opinions regarding bfs very much. Don’t be surprised; you only came in 3rd in her heart. Her family members will come first, second her friends and then you.

There's a saying: If you can't fight them, join them.

Good luck!!
  #116  
Old 05-04-2005, 10:39 AM
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Re: Long Distance Tirak Relationship - Myth or Reality

Quote:
Originally Posted by bkkguy
One thing about thai gals (including sg gals). They value their friends’ opinions regarding bfs very much. Don’t be surprised; you only came in 3rd in her heart. Her family members will come first, second her friends and then you.

There's a saying: If you can't fight them, join them.

Good luck!!
Generally for everyday affairs, it is damn true, if cannot accept, stay away from TGs. Only when it comes to serious matters, especially those concerning her future, long-term happiness will her friends take 3rd position. Family members or bf 1st, depends. Anyway no need to insist on being 1st all the time lah. Not win-win. One thing that seems to be clear in my case, though. I think she draws a line between before and after marriage. Bf has less priviledges/status than husband . Fair to me though.

So far, good enough is enough.
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Old 05-04-2005, 10:46 AM
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Re: Long Distance Tirak Relationship - Myth or Reality

Quote:
Originally Posted by free
I visit some of her friends together with her (irregardless of what work they do). Most of them are nice and they understand basic issues like once some is retired, they do go around giving out that person's new hp number, irregardless of who ask for it unless that person said they can
sorry, critical typo-error. Must correct. Should be:

"I visit some of her friends together with her (irregardless of what work they do). Most of them are nice and they understand basic issues like once someone is retired, they DON'T GO around giving out that person's new hp number, irregardless of who ask for it unless that person said they can"

"Original Post"
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  #118  
Old 05-04-2005, 01:24 PM
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Re: Long Distance Tirak Relationship - Myth or Reality

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Originally Posted by free
I think you got me wrong. I fully understand the TG's need to have friends to chitchat, go have fun with, etc. And I have no intention to cut her off from her frends. If anything, I worry about whether she has enough "real" friends who will give her support in times of needs. Her friends have often wanted her around for many reasons, mostly her neutral stand amongst the different groups of gals she know, and these groups may not be exactly cool with one another. With her around, they feel safe that there would be no trouble cos they will give her a certain amount of respect and not create problems with other groups. I have seen (when we re together) how she sometimes worries when she knows 2 conflicting groups are going to be at a certain place at the same time and she has rejected one (even both) invitation to join them. Frankly, I dun like it but that's the way things are and I have learnt to accept it. At least she is seen as leader or the "big & sensible sister" desipte her usually being amongst the youngest. From her, I get a pretty good idea of how many TGs do tend to gather in cliques, irregardless of who they are or what they do. Even decent gals get into fights sometimes. Must be the effect of alcohol, I think.
Wow Bro Free, your gf got another side of story! Sorry to misunderstand, but based on what you had post, the situation sucks! I understand that when a group of thai girls are involved in something, there will sure be trouble. So I guess that you are worry that the so called "Friends" will instigate any problems with your gf. It will take a huge effort from her plus your support to walk away from the present situation.
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Old 05-04-2005, 05:23 PM
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Re: Long Distance Tirak Relationship - Myth or Reality

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Originally Posted by Bangkok Master
Wow Bro Free, your gf got another side of story! Sorry to misunderstand, but based on what you had post, the situation sucks! I understand that when a group of thai girls are involved in something, there will sure be trouble. So I guess that you are worry that the so called "Friends" will instigate any problems with your gf. It will take a huge effort from her plus your support to walk away from the present situation.
Not really. She is sensible enough to take care of herself and not get into fights now that she is older. When she is around, it seems that the conflicting groups that she knows will not start any trouble in her presence. Perhaps it is cos she is on good terms with practically all groups (they consider her as their friend/sister) or they also know that she can make thing difficult for them if she wants to, cos she does have her connections to the "ppl who matters around her place", including ppl in fairly high places in govt or police or the other side of the fence. Some are parents/elder siblings of her friends/classmates, etc.

My worry is that some of these gals do occasssionately work as FLs (not a problem by itself) and they often try to "invite" her to join them, even though they know she already has a serious tirak she wants to marry and also she does not want to be in this line. Or give out her hp number freely when someone who likes her asks for it. Apparently some of these have tiraks (local/foreign) or even husbands already! And yet they dun think it is wroing to still carry on, cos of the money to live a life where lack of money is not a worry. My point to her is why subject herself to such temptations? If some of these friends dun know what is appropriate, better stay away from them. There are many more better friends waiting for her to get to know.

But if they know what is appropriate and invite her only for outings but not go join them to work (or tiao pu chai) (most fall in this category) I have absolutely no problems with them and accept them as my friends, and meet them with her. After all, I already have nong saos like that, and a few more makes no difference. Sometimes she dun understand why I should feel that way and dun want her to meet some "friends" and think I dun trust her to be sensible. I do, but the same reason applies for why she worries when I visit a Nong sao who is a WL (and there is absolutely nothing between us), and said she know TGs better than I do. Said she trust me but not them.

Maybe I should try telling her I am going to invite temptations and go exploring GL with my male friends, but I will simply wait for them while they enjoy their bonks (done that before and its not easy). And tell her not to worry because at this stage, I will be sensible enough not to succumb to these temptations, not matter how near I am to them. If she can accept it, then I will accept her going out with any one, even those who keep trying to tempt her, despite knowing she is attached, cos they themselves flirt around as well. Will I be going too far by doing that?
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Last edited by free; 05-04-2005 at 05:32 PM.
  #120  
Old 05-04-2005, 09:15 PM
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Re: Long Distance Tirak Relationship - Myth or Reality

Yap, gotta agree wif bro Free on the FL thingy... Me myself oso worried, but can oni trust her not 2 do tt... I belif she doesnt too, n i realli hope she doesn't.. I mean, i can accept her past no prob! But, not if i'm dead serious abt marrying her n she had 2 wait 4 me n she continued working in tt line, esp when i'm remitting 2 her every month... I do hope d worst doesn't happen though.. Think tt d mai pt abt Long Distance R/s bah, itz d mutual trust coz u cant b physically together, but i belif any r/s tt have gone through a LDR, n both r still as faithful n true 2 each other, it would almost b a fairy tale cum through wif d "Happily Ever After" ending...
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