To married or attached bros with FBs

Coldcut · #1 30-11-2011, 02:20 PM

Hello bros,

I am starting this thread to those bros who are married, engaged or attached, but with FB at the same time.

Do you all face the issue of falling in love with your FB and how do you cope with it? I am in a 7-year long relationship with my fiancee now. 2 years go, I met a girl and about a year ago, our relationship developed into a "Friends with Benefit" kind of relationship. But as time goes by, we got to know each other deeper and we got closer day after day. Now, I realise that I am really falling for my FB.

In the beginning, I thought this is a no-strings-attached relationship but then gradually, I feel that my FB has nice personality of girlfriend material. She is single and has given me top priority in everything.

Now, I finally understand that having a FB while you are attached is not an easy thing to handle.

I hope I can seek some advice from bros out there who can cope with similar situations.

Thanks

sammyboyfor · #2 30-11-2011, 02:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Coldcut

I hope I can seek some advice from bros out there who can cope with similar situations.

Thanks

Make sure the fuck buddy of your choice has other fuck buddies. It helps stop the relationship from developing into something more serious.

Shuang_Jie_Gun · #3 30-11-2011, 02:30 PM

In the game of love, there is really no right or wrong. If I were you, I will let go of the FB since I am already married. Just my 2 cents. Do you have kids, if yes the answer will be even more firm and obvious for you bro.

jasdude · #4 30-11-2011, 03:16 PM

Human beings are not void of emotions and attachments . Time nurtures loves and habits becomes addiction . LUST becomes LOVE .

Well the decision is up to you TS . How to cope with the situation ? Depends on many facts that are not made known to us ! I find it fair to comment if more facts are known . ETC Is your FB married ? Is your relationship between your fiancée good ? Honestly and to be crude ,since you can find a FB when you are with you fiancée . Even you love your FB and give up your fiancée , you are liable to find another FB if another opportunity arises .

maxsee · #5 30-11-2011, 03:32 PM

The thing is dun ever get married unless u want to have kids...if u are married...try not to stray....

Shuang_Jie_Gun · #6 30-11-2011, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maxsee

The thing is dun ever get married unless u want to have kids...if u are married...try not to stray....

totall agreed. passion will not last, only true love will. (in most cases)

wally888 · #7 30-11-2011, 05:33 PM

I think TS is not formally married.

Sometimes, u may have started your relationship too young and immatured especially during university or poly, etc. Maybe, over the 7 years your love life may not be as what u expected? Maybe, love is not as strong for each other as both gets stale over time.

Best is u ask yourself what u see in FB and your fiancee. Do an independent pros/cons or SWAT analysis or something like that. Do not commit into something that will make your life miserable.......my 1 cents

PleasureEmpire · #8 30-11-2011, 06:15 PM

New Broom always sweeps better....

goodpartner · #9 30-11-2011, 06:27 PM

Why is it that when a FB crosses the line and get involves with their clie...eh...FB in a r/s, they are not being condemn as badly as a whore who does the same to their client?

A whore becums a whore for a reason (money) and a FB also becums one for "benefits". They should keep to their role and not take advantages of the person who patronizes them right?

Mr_don_juan · #10 30-11-2011, 07:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Coldcut

Hello bros,

I am starting this thread to those bros who are married, engaged or attached, but with FB at the same time.

Do you all face the issue of falling in love with your FB and how do you cope with it? I am in a 7-year long relationship with my fiancee now. 2 years go, I met a girl and about a year ago, our relationship developed into a "Friends with Benefit" kind of relationship. But as time goes by, we got to know each other deeper and we got closer day after day. Now, I realise that I am really falling for my FB.

In the beginning, I thought this is a no-strings-attached relationship but then gradually, I feel that my FB has nice personality of girlfriend material. She is single and has given me top priority in everything.

Now, I finally understand that having a FB while you are attached is not an easy thing to handle.

I hope I can seek some advice from bros out there who can cope with similar situations.

Thanks

For a FB, you have to keep the frequency of sex limited. Emotions tend to start getting involved if you do it too often. Once every 2 weeks to once every month if you really don't want to get emotions involved in any relationship. You can keep several FBs in any suitation. No "dates" with a FB just sex activites. It's pretty much boring seeing the same FB all the time. FB things always have a short life. One person always ends up wanting more. I just keep hunting for new ones.

Iemanishere · #11 30-11-2011, 10:13 PM

My bro cold cut , don't mind saying this.. From a lawyer which has 2 bad marriage.. Go make more money 1st.. It helps if got problem.. Lady's will come and go. Cheers

King123456789 · #12 30-11-2011, 10:13 PM

Why are you still with your fiancee?

hickeybites · #13 30-11-2011, 11:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Coldcut

Hello bros,
In the beginning, I thought this is a no-strings-attached relationship but then gradually, I feel that my FB has nice personality of girlfriend material. She is single and has given me top priority in everything.

Now, I finally understand that having a FB while you are attached is not an easy thing to handle.
Thanks

Going to play the Devil's Advocate here..
Say if come a time your FwB/FB doesn't place you as top priority as much or anymore; or the sex with her becomes mundane;
or she reveals more or other aspects of her personality that you may find unattractive -- all possible with the passage of time.
With your fiance/gf, you've had 7 years of a recognized relationship. With this FwB/FB, the relationship is something that is kept in the shadows --
the secrecy can be intoxicating. IF your relationship with your FwB/FB were to come out into the open, would it play out the same way as your current relationship with your fiance?
It's anyone's guess...

Marriage is not to be entered into lightly ~ don't go into it for sake of face or flat. You owe it to yourself & your fiance to be clear about where SHE stands.
Aside from the sex & the GFE & the feeling of being special and important, a foundation built on mutual respect & compatibility is very important as well.
Come days when the GFE fluctuates (due to tiredness/stress/bills/kids etc) and the sex becomes less than exciting, would you be able to see the woman in front of you & honestly say
"I still love this woman for her character, strength, convictions, beliefs etc etc"
Before entering into matrimony, wouldn't it be wise to at least ask yourself: the person I marry, would he/she be someone who will support me, take care of me, stand by me thru' thick & thin, sticks with me to hell & back (somehow this seems more applicable to be asked by men.. anyways).

Personally if I were TS, I wouldn't just judge my fiance vs my FB based primarily on my feelings & emotions... our emotions can be transient & volatile & very much influenced by circumstances/ actions of others. My advice: dig deep & be clear-headed. Look beyond the sex & the GFE ... cos as evidenced by a few threads in the Adults Discussion section - those characteristics are NOT guaranteed permanent wifey-fixtures after papers are signed

sammyboyfor · #14 01-12-2011, 03:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hickeybites

Personally if I were TS, I wouldn't just judge my fiance vs my FB based primarily on my feelings & emotions... our emotions can be transient & volatile

When FB becomes wife, the relationship will soon become as boring and as mundane as the current one. It'll then be time to introduce a new FB into the equation to spice things up again.

It's human nature... and nothing anyone says or does will change anything.

jessca · #15 01-12-2011, 09:54 AM

There will always be girls that are hotter, prettier, wilder than the one you current have.

Why are you looking for a girlfriend material type, when you already found a wife material type? ( there has to be some good reason why you are engage to her)

If you and your fiancee are not married and don't have any kids. Stop wasting her time. (if you think that you 'love' your fb more than your fiancee)7 years is not short.

Hope you will make a decision that you won't regret.