Why would a woman choose to be a third party?

[toy811]

Met up with some old friends during a wedding dinner. Someone told me a story that my JC crush is now involved with a married man with kids and does not want to break the relationship even after her family got wind of it. My friend is aware of it because he good friend with one of my crush's siblings.

I don't understand given her standing, she deserve someone better but she choose to be in such an illicit relationship?
Can any bro or sis explain to me why?

[fion.18]

Originally Posted by toy811

Met up with some old friends during a wedding dinner. Someone told me a story that my JC crush is now involved with a married man with kids and does not want to break the relationship even after her family got wind of it. My friend is aware of it because he good friend with one of my crush's siblings.

I don't understand given her standing, she deserve someone better but she choose to be in such an illicit relationship?
Can any bro or sis explain to me why?

More often that not people don't choose to be third parties. Why would they, there is no prestige attached to this tag, there is almost nothing to be proud off.

It just happens. Lust or love it really depends. It happened to be me before, of cos I know I deserve better, deserve more than to just be a secret but despite all that, I naively thought he was worth it. we all know how most of such stories end. There is no happy ending and the 3rd party usually ends up the most wounded. But this is a lesson only experience can give, no amount of warning from friends/family can deter them (at least it was this way for me then)

She deserves better. Someday she will realize and she will walk out of it. Just like I did.

[SgpChnMale48]

It should consider fate and destiny of life that thing like this do happen which are we unable to avoid that is my opinion.

[Triple70]

Firstly, not all women want to be part of a traditional family unit, or maybe not now, perhaps later on in life.

Married guys tend to be more mature, and perhaps financially more stable, and able to provide a fulfilling companionship to the lady. Being married with another family, the guy is unlikely to be possessive, and offers the lady the freedom and space to persue her other interests.

Single guys tend to be more possessive and demanding?

Each relationship is unique, there is no model answer to how things work. As long as everyone is mature about it, respect each other prior obligations and space, it is very possible for such a relationship to be very fulfilling.

This is just my view. I apologise in advance if my POV does not agree with anyone.

[ranger_edd]

I think the third party, whether male or female, will be hurt just as bad as the other. But it all boils down to the individual. This only happens when emotions are involved.

Which is why - it is probably safer to have a no strings attached (NSA) relationship.

For most men, that's just paid sex or, for the lucky, FBs. And that's why we are here on this forum.

Originally Posted by Triple70

Firstly, not all women want to be part of a traditional family unit, or maybe not now, perhaps later on in life.

Married guys tend to be more mature, and perhaps financially more stable, and able to provide a fulfilling companionship to the lady. Being married with another family, the guy is unlikely to be possessive, and offers the lady the freedom and space to persue her other interests.

Single guys tend to be more possessive and demanding?

Each relationship is unique, there is no model answer to how things work. As long as everyone is mature about it, respect each other prior obligations and space, it is very possible for such a relationship to be very fulfilling.

This is just my view. I apologise in advance if my POV does not agree with anyone.

[lipe]

LOVE IS BLIND

From Shakespeare

But love is blind and lovers cannot see
The pretty follies that themselves commit;
For if they could, Cupid himself would blush

Modern-day research supports the view that the blindness of love is not just a figurative matter. A research study in 2004 by University College London found that feelings of love suppressed the activity of the areas of the brain that control critical thought.

Of course, we should all take note of J Mason Brewer's advice in Worser Days and Better Times, 1965 (which is described as a 'collection of negro humour'):


I don't make love by the garden gate,
For love is blind, but the neighbors ain't.

[acidicavex]

It a gamble in life we never know how it will work out. Although out of 10 whom take the plunge 9 will fail badly. This not only restricted to woman being the 3rd party it also refer to man who got involve with married woman.

We all know jolly well it will not end up good.... but i have seen 1 or 2 that did workout Minority case that is. I wont encourage but nor would i discourage such type of affairs only the person involve in it knows.

What is prefect or better for the person is always what we want to think it is. But the person themself might not find that it is so.

So what 2 single thought they are prefect for each other but to end up splitting.

Everyone life is a big puzzle with that Missing piece. Not many is lucky enough to complete the puzzle and to heldnon to it till the time ends.

I have seen and witness a 50+ lady colleague giving up everything in her life including children to pursuit what she call true happiness. I admire her courage..... many condemn it and say she will regret but i just saw her earlier his year with the man she wanted to be with. Whom i also know a superior on my project.

Life is a big joke. We only this much in a lifetime... if it worth the risk to that person why not pray n give them the blessing. Instead of squeezing balls and cursing n swear at them. And condemn them to pit?

[mcyeoh]

it just your typical new generation singaporean slut...no wonder NG sg girls/women are easy....funny..trying replying..it just show how insecure, manipulable and tiny you NG people are..hahahahah

[Lucifer666]

1、無論你遇見誰，他都是在你生命中該出現的人：
沒有人是因為偶然才進入我們的生命。每個在我們周圍和我們有互動的人，都代表一些事。也許要教會我們什麼， 也許要協助我們改善眼前的一個情況。

2、無論發生什麼事，那都是唯一會發生的事：
我們所經歷的事，不可能以其它的方式發生，即便是最不重要的細節也不會。無論發生什麼事，那都是唯一會發生 的，而且一定要那樣發生，而不是＂如果那樣，就不會這樣了＂。生命中，我們經歷的每一種情境都是絕對完美的 ，即便它不符我們的理解與自尊。

3、不管事情開始於哪個時刻，都是對的時刻：
每一件事都正好是在對的時刻開始的，不早也不晚。當我們準備好，準備經歷生命中的新奇時刻，它就在那裡，隨 時準備開始。

4、已經結束的，就已經結束了：
這是如此簡單。當生命中有些事情結束，它會幫助我們進化。要完整享受已然發生的事，最好是放下並持續前進。 你坐在這裡，讀著這些文字，我相信絕非巧合。如果這些文字觸動你的心弦，那是因為你的因緣成熟。你明白，沒 有任何一片雪花會因為意外落在錯的地方。

[Gentle Beast]

Some women, who are in full control of themselves are involved with married men because Married Men Cannot Hurt Them. These women cherry pick what they want out of the relationship and walk away without any attachment. Hard to believe, but don't discount it.

[Blackenrose]

Some times it is just fate I guess.. While you are working, your boss becomes especially caring towards you, then you kind of fell for him, did not realising that he is already engaged/married..
After that, got so attached with him, it becomes so hard to break up, end up becoming a "狐狸精”.
I guess everyone is selfish, if there is hope, will keep on the relationship, hoping one day he will become mine... But it is always a sad ending...

[toy811]

Another question, is the guy at fault given he is married?

[mcyeoh]

it just your typical new generation singaporean slut...no wonder NG sg girls/women are easy....funny..trying replying..it just show how insecure, manipulable and tiny you NG people are..hahahahah

[diputs1269]

Sometimes they don't realise because they did not know that their boyfriend was married.
The girl was kept in the dark until when the girl found out the truth is already too late.