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  #16  
Old 09-09-2012, 02:36 PM
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DO_YOU_BJ DO_YOU_BJ is offline
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Re: A Good Read! Bros who are experiencing pain, please read this!

Quote:
Originally Posted by iMonk View Post
wonder what the f.... people wanna keep quarrelling here
Arguments for the GLORY of the LIGHT is applaudable.
Fights for the GLORY of Darkness is a bloody joke!
Orh Neh Teh Neh
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  #17  
Old 09-09-2012, 02:46 PM
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Re: A Good Read! Bros who are experiencing pain, please read this!

Quote:
Originally Posted by DO_YOU_BJ View Post
Arguments for the GLORY of the LIGHT is applaudable.
Fights for the GLORY of Darkness is a bloody joke!
Orh Neh Teh Neh
agreed.... but disagreed on

Orh Neh Teh Neh

Neh cannot orh can only ku, teh or so nia

so best is

Gu Neh Tua Huat lah !!!!!
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  #18  
Old 09-09-2012, 02:49 PM
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Re: A Good Read! Bros who are experiencing pain, please read this!

Quote:
Originally Posted by iMonk View Post
agreed.... but disagreed on

Orh Neh Teh Neh

Neh cannot orh can only ku, teh or so nia

so best is

Gu Neh Tua Huat lah !!!!!
Lolzzzzzz, wise words from the venerable iMonk.
Me only kee sua loh zui wahahahaahaha
Hv a gd sunday bro
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The Choices We Make, Dictate The Life We Lead!!!
The 4 Golden Rules in life:
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2) 不要出卖自己
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4) 不要对不起自己

是你的,就是你的。
不是你的,不要抢!

人之所以快乐,不是因为得到的多、而是因为计较的少
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  #19  
Old 10-09-2012, 09:49 AM
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Re: A Good Read! Bros who are experiencing pain, please read this!

Quote:
Originally Posted by abugga View Post
Letting Go of Attachment
This is a great thread coincide with my own thoughts and kindly allow me to share with you an old story on above

Two traveling monks reached a river where they met a young and very attractive woman. She was in despair. She had to cross the river, but was afraid to do so. The current was too strong and she was afraid of drowning. Wary of the current, she asked if they could carry her across. The junior monks hesitated. Without hesitation, the older monk picked her up onto his shoulders and carried her across the river. Arriving safely on the other bank he sat her down and bowed. She expressed her gratitude and departed.

As the monks continued on their way, the junior monk seemed disturbed. He could not shake off what was on his mind and after walking for about a mile, he finally blurted to his senior. " "Master, of all people you should have known that our spiritual teaching forbids us contact with women, but you have picked that woman and carried her on your shoulders! How can that be!?"

The senior monk replied:”Brother, I set her down on the other side a mile back, why are you still carrying her?"

This very old story reflects the thinking of many people today. We encounter many unpleasant things in our life, they irritate and make us angry. Sometimes, they even cause us lot of hurt or make us bitter. But like the young monk, we are not willing to let them go away cos we allow negative thoughts or emotions to dominate us. We cannot not think about them and like a bad movie playing in the head endlessly. We are disturbed and not at peace. Sometimes, these thoughts are so overwhelming that we keep thinking and cannot sleep at night. We keep thinking of getting even, wasting our time, making ourselves sick with anguish, making us bitter and cause us a lot of agony.

Why? Simply because we are not willing to put down or let go the baggage of the "unpleasant memory/feelings".

Quote:
Originally Posted by abugga View Post
The most important question: what do you choose right now?
We should let it go immediately after the unpleasant event is over. This will help in removing the agony. Letting go is not about losing and in dharma context – It’s letting go of “Gasping Ego”. Even if we hold an empty cup for a long period of time, it can get more and more uncomfortable. So what do we do? Simply PUT IT DOWN la.

Brother abugga,

Thank you so much for your thread.

Here wishing you through the cycles of life and relationships, may the force of Dharma be with you, always. Be Happy!

Cheers IK
  #20  
Old 10-09-2012, 02:22 PM
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Re: A Good Read! Bros who are experiencing pain, please read this!

Thanks Bro IK, I have recently suffered a really bad break up. Picking myself up, not through means of getting a replacement, getting drunk but by coming out a better and wiser person.

Let's this be a thread for brothers & sisters alike seeking wise words. The last thing I'd wish for anyone in this forum, to carry on the path of self destruction or anger. Although I don't know any of you personally, Just come into this thread and feel free to pour out.

But please, no naysayers please, I'm not affected by your naysaying but that doesn't mean other people won't, don't strike people when they are weak and down, have some honor. Much appreciate.
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  #21  
Old 10-09-2012, 03:52 PM
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Re: A Good Read! Bros who are experiencing pain, please read this!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ichigo_Kurosaki View Post
The senior monk replied:”Brother, I set her down on the other side a mile back, why are you still carrying her?"

Brother abugga,

Thank you so much for your thread.

Here wishing you through the cycles of life and relationships, may the force of Dharma be with you, always. Be Happy!

Cheers IK
Agree!

Just know you have the power to choose from moment to moment how you experience things you enjoy: with a sense of ownership, anxiety, and fear, or with a sense of freedom, peace and love.

The most important question: what do you choose right now?

Thank you for this post, Abugga! Very good read!
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  #22  
Old 10-09-2012, 09:58 PM
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Re: A Good Read! Bros who are experiencing pain, please read this!

Holy cow, I feel like a kid after reading through halfway Most unlikely post in a sex forum but we learn something everyday
  #23  
Old 10-09-2012, 10:42 PM
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Re: A Good Read! Bros who are experiencing pain, please read this!

Nice share abudga! I'm reading Buddhism books as well. Nice meeting all of you here. Let's get out of the 'real' rat race soon!. Recently keep seeing the words 万恶淫为首 ard sg. What a kind reminder! *fold hands.
  #24  
Old 10-09-2012, 10:52 PM
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Re: A Good Read! Bros who are experiencing pain, please read this!

Pain can be a form of joy. It depends on whether you can accept it or not.
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  #25  
Old 10-09-2012, 11:28 PM
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Re: A Good Read! Bros who are experiencing pain, please read this!

great share bro. we all learnt something from this.
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  #26  
Old 11-09-2012, 04:01 AM
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Re: A Good Read! Bros who are experiencing pain, please read this!

I was so angry my whole body was shaking. I stared at Günther* with hate, my left hand in a fist and my right hand gripping a tennis racket as a weapon. I was ready to kill him.

Was this really me?

I had returned to Ann Bradney's extraordinary workshop, The Radically Alive Leader, which I wrote about last year. This time there were 23 of us from around the world — many from countries experiencing tremendous violence — and the topic had turned to war.

One by one people stood up — people from the U.S., Colombia, Somalia, Mexico, Israel — and spoke about the cruelty they had experienced in their countries. As I heard about family members being kidnapped, raped, or killed, people being bombed and forced to live in refugee camps, my empathy for the victims and my anger at the perpetrators intensified.

Then a quiet woman named Nancy spoke. "We all participate in one way or the other," she said, "We are all guilty."

I could no longer restrain myself. "We're all guilty?" I burst at Nancy. "Really? How about the babies who are dying or the women who have been raped? Are they guilty too? Guilty just like the rapists? That's ridiculous!"

The room went silent.

Nancy shrank, and I didn't care. Actually, that's not true — I did care. I loved it. It felt great to lash out. I felt powerful. Safe from the violence. Righteous. And relieved, as the tension that was building inside me began to subside.

Then Ian, who hadn't yet said a word, spoke into the silence. He asked me if I could see myself killing, if I were in, say, Somalia. I was quick to respond no.

"You scare me." Ian said

I scared him? I was the one showing outrage at evil! He shouldn't be scared of me; he should be scared of people who could see themselves killing.

But Ian was on to something deep and important. Something all leaders need to understand: When empathy plays favorites, we should all be scared.

It makes us feel better to separate ourselves from people whose behavior we don't like. It makes us feel moral, safe, and beyond reproach. But separating the other people as evil means we are more likely to lash out at them and, before we know it, become cruel ourselves.

I am not saying that we should excuse violence or poor behavior. There must be consequences to people who act destructively. But psychologically separating ourselves from them makes us dangerous.

It didn't take long for me to learn that lesson firsthand.

I was still filled with emotion from the last conversation when Günther, a German man, started yelling in German, and slamming a tennis racket onto a large foam block, one of the tools that Ann uses in her workshop to get energy moving.

Every time the racket slammed down, I flinched. His accent, the yelling, and the slamming brought me back to my family's memories of the Holocaust. My mother and her family were in hiding in France during the war, and her newborn sister, Ariel, was killed by a doctor who gave her milk that was too thick. He said he did it because she was Jewish.

I imagined Günther in a Nazi uniform, cold eyes peering out behind a low-hanging army cap, emblazoned with a swastika. I was flooded with rage, sadness, and fear. My whole body was shaking. I pictured baby Ariel, dead, wrapped in a blanket, as I picked up the racket.

I slammed the racket on the cube with all my strength. "Stop it," I screamed, completely swept up in the moment. "Stop screaming. Stop the hatred. Stop the violence."

In that moment, I could have killed Günther.

But Günther isn't a Nazi. He's a software developer with a German accent.

In other words, I didn't want to kill Günther for something he had done. I wanted to kill him for something he represented. For his accent.

In that moment — and I feel chills down my spine as I write this — Günther wasn't the Nazi. I was.

In different circumstances — perhaps raised by a parent who taught us differently — who's to say what choices we might make? Any one of us is capable of just about anything. And unless we acknowledge that, we are at greater risk of becoming the person we fear the most. We're more likely to lash out against others to defend our view of ourselves.

This is not just about world leadership and violence; it's about mundane leadership and everyday relationships, as well. Any time we think or say, in disbelief, "Can you believe what that person did? What kind of person does that? I just can't understand her!" we are separating ourselves from other people, making them essentially bad and us essentially good.

When we do that, we are, at worst, dangerous, and, at best, weak leaders.

Holding the racket, angry enough to want to kill — was that really me? Yes. At times it may be you, too. Though disturbing, this is a good thing to admit. It's only when we are willing to feel the racket in our own hands — to look at that dark part of ourselves with our eyes open and realize that we are not so different from those around us — that we can be trusted to act responsibly.

Bros... Please read this... Very insightful... That we must all be ready to face our inner demons, to see ourselves as imperfect before labeling others.
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  #27  
Old 11-09-2012, 04:19 AM
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Re: A Good Read! Bros who are experiencing pain, please read this!

And the above, is what most of us are guilty of, in fact we do it everyday. We just don't realize it.

Just like how I don't hate my ex girlfriend for leaving me cold blooded. I hated her for what she represented, someone that actually did the same to me in the past. For some distant memory in my younger days that someone left me in the exact same way.

The same goes to her, she does not hate me for what I am, but hated me for what I was representing at the time of my anger, we quarreled a lot and that indirectly reminded her of her family problems, I was representing the turmoil she once had before..

It's time to look within.
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  #28  
Old 11-09-2012, 04:39 AM
abugga abugga is offline
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Re: A Good Read! Bros who are experiencing pain, please read this!

After all....

" the ugliness we see in others, is a reflection of our own nature "

Sigh.
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  #29  
Old 11-09-2012, 10:34 AM
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Thumbs up Re: A Good Read! Bros who are experiencing pain, please read this!

Quote:
Originally Posted by abugga View Post
Something all leaders need to understand: When empathy plays favorites, we should all be scared.

It makes us feel better to separate ourselves from people whose behavior we don't like. It makes us feel moral, safe, and beyond reproach. But separating the other people as evil means we are more likely to lash out at them and, before we know it, become cruel ourselves.

I am not saying that we should excuse violence or poor behavior. There must be consequences to people who act destructively. But psychologically separating ourselves from them makes us dangerous.

It didn't take long for me to learn that lesson firsthand.

Any one of us is capable of just about anything. And unless we acknowledge that, we are at greater risk of becoming the person we fear the most. We're more likely to lash out against others to defend our view of ourselves.

This is not just about world leadership and violence; it's about mundane leadership and everyday relationships, as well. Any time we think or say, in disbelief, "Can you believe what that person did? What kind of person does that? I just can't understand her!" we are separating ourselves from other people, making them essentially bad and us essentially good.

When we do that, we are, at worst, dangerous, and, at best, weak leaders.
At times it may be you, too. Though disturbing, this is a good thing to admit. It's only when we are willing to feel the racket in our own hands — to look at that dark part of ourselves with our eyes open and realize that we are not so different from those around us — that we can be trusted to act responsibly.

Bros... Please read this... Very insightful... That we must all be ready to face our inner demons, to see ourselves as imperfect before labeling others.
Good insights Bro Abugga!
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  #30  
Old 11-09-2012, 12:10 PM
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DO_YOU_BJ DO_YOU_BJ is offline
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Re: A Good Read! Bros who are experiencing pain, please read this!

Quote:
Originally Posted by abugga View Post
After all....

" the ugliness we see in others, is a reflection of our own nature "

Sigh.
Allow me to rephrase ur statement cos i feel it's kinda flawed.

"The Ugliness we see in others
Is a reflection of how ugly humans can be or become.
N if we see it in ourselves
It's a sign for us tat it's time to bloody change!"

Compassion, though a good trait, must be practiced wif discretion.
If used wrongly, ur kindness will be taken as ur weakness!
This part, u really shud do more reading of ur good books to understand.

The world is filled wif Lite n Darkness, both realms vying for Pole position.
In the world of Lite, slaying the Dark is not wrong but actually earns u merit.
Y?
Cos by slaying a Dark entity or someone living in Darkness, u actually helped prevent harm from coming to many of those in the Lite.

A good example of Dark is women who hv no morals n use their body like toilet bowls.
Anyone who understands the teachings of any scripture will know tat such people hv already embraced darkness n is already part of Darkness
Thus
Anyone who comes into contact wif such a person
Will hv been affected by Dark energy
N if tat someone does not know the art of purging such Dark energy
It'll be a matter of time before they too themselves get engulfed by these Dark energies
N unknowingly enter the realm of Darkness
In Christian terms, they r Satan's soldiers in human form
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The Choices We Make, Dictate The Life We Lead!!!
The 4 Golden Rules in life:
1) 不要欺骗自己
2) 不要出卖自己
3) 不要背叛自己
4) 不要对不起自己

是你的,就是你的。
不是你的,不要抢!

人之所以快乐,不是因为得到的多、而是因为计较的少
Officially Retired From The Nite Scene

Last edited by DO_YOU_BJ; 11-09-2012 at 12:23 PM.
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