My Fillial Daughter

[TooFast]

A thai chinese ger told me Chiang Rai got alot of mandarin speaking people. Their main language is still thai though. What surprise me was that even the chinese family who live in Chiang Rai, they spoke thai among themselves too. I don't know how true is that though.

Giving this a bump. Still waiting for answers

[TooFast]

Originally Posted by thaivisitor

The thai chinese in Chiang Rai are the "yunans". They know mamadarin but speak their own dialect among themselves. Even younger generations.

Whereas in bKK, other than those living or working in Chinatown, many of the younger generation does not speak chinese.

Thanks for taking ur time to answer my newbie question. Really appreciate it TV. Wish I could do more than just appreciating. Haha. But still young, there's nothing much I can contribute. Also have lots of questions in mind.

Anyone ever had a relationship with a yunan girl in Chiang Rai?
Are their thinking more different than the thai gers that SC mentioned in the first page?

[farark]

Originally Posted by john teo

... I can only say its their way of life. i may sound stupid to give up everything but what can i say....they did not keep their promise. Pain yes,wiser yes but we will never understand their thinking and way of finding wealth to lessen their so call hardship. It never end... it just go round n round.

Bro, moving story. I feel that you had made the move - be it right or wrong, the only one who can judge is yourself.

We will definitely never understand their thinking and way of finding wealth because, we have never ever experienced living from hand to mouth. People who live from hand to mouth will never understand the value of money. But do we in developed Sillypore understand the value of money ourself?

Like the old adage of the whether the chicken or the egg came first, well this "round n round" or cyclical phenomenon is well documented not only in Thailand, but also in other countries with huge income disparities like China, India, The Philippines, etc.

No offence to any bros within or outside this forum, personally, I feel given their circumstances, there is no right or wrong in this matter, we're looking at very different people living in very different worlds from us (yes, we're all on the same planet, but it's really different). These differences are not only geographical and linguistic, but also cultural, thinking, etc. However, the common denominator between them and us has got to do with which part of the globe you live in, the developed or the underdeveloped side.

Just my 2 satang's worth.

[Snuber]

Originally Posted by thaivisitor

You must understand their culture before you can compare yourselves with them.

The girls normally decides for themselves that they want to work as WLs, and it is in their blood to help their family have a better life.

As in most thai families, abeit the poorer ones, the daughter will work as a WL if the son is not able to provide enough for the family.

You have a point there as in the decision lies with themselves. Read in an earlier post that they DO have a choice. And they opt for the easier & faster easier way out. It's a matter of "want" or "don't want". Sometimes, I can't help but wonder if the parents do put up a strong resistance in objecting their daughters going into this line. Cos once in, it's very hard to get out. Thru the years of being exposed to the evils ways of the world, even an innocent village girl would become a super "eagle".

If talking about family ties, why let the daughter shoulder all the burden? If parents are still able to work, won't it be better if all can work it out? Yes, the money is lesser, but at least everyone is happier & it gives comfort to the heart.

A thai man would not even blink an eye if his wife is a WL & returns at night to the bed as long as she can bring in the dough. But to us, it's simply unacceptable as our wife is considered as our own private property.

This is a good thread, bringing out what we thought vs the facts.

[Snuber]

Originally Posted by john teo

At that time, my thought was not to allow another daughter of theirs into the vice. Make them promise this will not happen. I provided enough for them...house,cattle, land, motorcycle etc

Anger clouds the mind.............what I could suggest for their actions is that if there is another revenue whereby you can have another $30k - $50k baht per month on top of what you have currently, would you let this chance slip by?

Gosh! Guess I'm making the parents very $-faced here, but I could be wrong.

[Snuber]

Originally Posted by thaivisitor

I don't know, but if I were you, I'll make an effort to find out how she is, and if life didn't turn up well for her, I'll do something about it as I was the cause. It doesn't mean marrying her, but whatever can be done to make life a little less miserable for her.

Agree with TV on this part. Be it as a friend or as her ex-hubby, it's good to know how she is doing right now.

Just be glad that your paths crossed & she is a part of your happy memories, even if the both of you are not meant to be.

Chok Dee

[TooFast]

Originally Posted by siamboy

What happened? You tio gongtao arh?

My ex-regular used to be a chiang rai ger. Actually, I never get to know that until the last 2 or 3 bonks, I ask her how come her mandarin so good etc. Got talk about her family and such and got to know she is a chiang rai ger.

I was wondering if I do decide to commit on getting on with the relationship(aka tio gong tao ), how would it turn out?
Since she is a thai chinese, will her thinking be different from the other thai gers?

That time abit shock that legal houses got thai chinese also. Anyway she ORD for about 10 months liao I think.
Didn't ask for her thai home address and so, because I was like half shy and half insecure(I was afraid I can't give her security) about the relationship too.

Recently read about this thread, I got enlightened by SC's essay, the reason why they do it and I can tell, I really feel very fucking bad for them. For the family to actually go beyond the inch and keep asking for more and for the poor WL to provide what it seems like an endless bottom pit.....really like the quote SC gave to their family .

Still wonder what if I took a different path...bringing the relationship to the next level...maybe it will be what the forum describe as....another sadfuck?

Anyone else would like to comment about the yunan girls mentality?
Hope to hear more opinions. Thank you for your time.

[Snuber]

Originally Posted by thaivisitor

We have to understand some of their thinkings or culture before we can get to undertand their thoughts.

So when can we read your version of "The Thai Family"?

[Snuber]

Originally Posted by john teo

Bro Snuber, Gong Xi Fa Cai....

Same to you bro!

Guess never know................ $$$$ always makes the mind go haywire. like what pple used to say..$$$$ root of all evil...

Erm............. so we advocate for free bonks from now onwards?

[Snuber]

Originally Posted by thaivisitor

waaa, you want me to write a book ah?

Let's just say we would prefer the online version. Start a new thread here & see if it will exceed 200 pages, but of cos not 1 sentence or short paragraphs per posting!

[TooFast]

Originally Posted by john teo

My ex mier was from CHiang Rai.......guess no different leh.....What a waste!!!! Wo cai chep......mai kit leow!!! All becos of me keeping to my promise if ever they cheated on me and I will pack up and never to return.

She is a Yunnan girl too?
Read about your story, I do understand that you try your best to prevent your ex-wife's sister from entering the trade. Really sorry to hear that you didn't succeed.

But I think you should at least give her a chance to explain instead of just leaving. Maybe your ex-wife's did try to persuade her. There are so many possiblity of why the sister enter the trade despite telling her the hardship and the dignity loss in the future to come.
I have two in mind now.

1. She has a pichaii to feed. But she feel like it's wrong to ask her sister for money?
2. She could be doing it because the family might have been in some shit debts and they feel ashame if they take your money?

Just my thoughts.

[TooFast]

Originally Posted by john teo

Well, regardless of what happen......10+ years leow.... Might drop by to look for her as suggested by BroTV. She is faithful n sincere but.....why keep it fm me....??? She could have discuss with me b4 sister enter the trade....I would gladly help instead of whole family ganging to keep it from me.... Never ask and will never know i guess..... haizzz..

Hate to say it but most marriages, the husband and wife still refrain from discussing serious issues. Maybe you should ask yourself, have you ever discuss any serious issues or problems with your ex-wife?(like work stress or some family problems you had back in your home country)

I think it's a psychological issue. They don't want to burden their spouses, they also don't want them to worry. For most, they just wish that their spouse are happy. But what they didn't know is that both have a serious issue kept in their heart.

It's their way of expressing love, right or wrong...it's up to you guys to judge.

I know it's been ten years liao, but I guess it's just a character in me. I always think what would happen if I chose this route instead of another.
Hope you don't mind me.

[TooFast]

Originally Posted by john teo

Ya...10 long years.....could it be fated that it has to end this way. I was not thinking for a long time . Now the wound opens up again.... feeling guilty again like did i did it right or wrong......

I'm sorry for opening up your wound. But sometimes it helps to think about it so that one will not make the same mistake again.

I would like to say that it's really impossible to discuss every single matter with your spouse. I would like to think as because they are not counselors or thearapists, it's really difficult for them to understand the problems you face. They also think that you might not be able to fully comprehend the hardship they are going through. They also have this mentality; "Tell you also no use, I don't think you can help me also." Most married couples are facing such issues, I am sure of it.

That's one of the mental barriers why couples refused to talk about issues. It's then top up with the 'I do not want you to worry' layer to cover the main reason.

Marriage is all about compromising. One's life-partner can never be perfect.

[Snuber]

Originally Posted by TooFast

they are going through. They also have this mentality; "Tell you also no use, I don't think you can help me also." Most married couples are facing such issues, I am sure of it.

Well most people assume, that's where things start to go wrong.

It's then top up with the 'I do not want you to worry' layer to cover the main reason.

Just rely with another classic, "How can I be happy when you are not?"

Marriage is all about compromising. One's life-partner can never be perfect.

More like loving an imperfect person perfectly.

[siamcutey]

Originally Posted by thaivisitor

It is not that sons don't want to help out. It is a question of whether they are able to or not. (put aside some of those black sheeps).

You will see a girl going out to work as WL and sending money bakc to the home. Her brothers may be in the rice fields, tending to cattles, etc, etc.

Putting ourselves in their situation. If you were able to command an extremely high income, and say one of your sibling is in financial hardship where the house is going to be repossess, do you just keep to yourself and say, hell with your sibling as it is not your problem?

half right, half wrong.

When man have money, their cock feel itchy and they will want to spend money to relieve the itch. However, when no money, cock feel itchy, boo bian use the hand.

Yes they may be tending to cattles etc. That is because they have no one to support and give them more money. But when someone in the family starts giving them money in surplus (surplus in this case means alot), how many you think will just tend to cattles?

Liquor, Gambling, Women is where the surplus will end up in.

And if you are talking about having a sibling who is having financial hardship and deciding whether to help or not. Most important thing to know is what is the main reason behind the financial hardship. Biz failure, hospital bills, drinking, gambling, womanizing....????