Met someone online but I'm married

[cheryl]

I wana know what happened now too.

[PRCRammer]

Why so lazy? Just read back a bit know already but now since half time with Spain 2 Italy 0, I will quote the best summary of events from bro gigigagago

Originally Posted by gigigagago

The eyes choose to see what the mind does.

Actually if we all did read carefully, bro porscheclub explicitly mentioned his dad abandoned the family, was irresponsible for his own actions, and left behind a ton of crap for his original family members.

Personally, I'd never know what's the drive behind Ladyrain's barrage of accusations and name-callings. It could be:

- simple case of misreading
- had issues of her own thus blinded her own judgment
- seriously believed that as long as a parent had a child, the child takes full responsibility for every wrongdoings the parent would do/have done.
- all of the above

Perhaps she could have cut losses if she realised her misread, perhaps she didn't and felt that her replies were just. *shrugs*

I have mentioned in my thread before I come from a dysfunctional family. All I can say is, 做爸爸谁都可以; 当爸爸不一定每个都有资格 (Becoming a father every guy is capable of; being a father not every one is qualified to). Every guy is capable of being a father what - so simple just shoot and fertilise. Which healthy male cannot do that? But being a father is a whole different story. Being a father requires the male to perform to the best of his capabilities for the well-being of his family and children.

Many of my friends looked to their father as their role model. I grew up thinking: "I will never be like my father". Sure, during my formative years I was an angry and delinquent wayward kid. But I learnt resilience, sense of responsibility for my mom and younger sis, empathy for people who are suffering, sense of just and working well under pressure (I do it with a grin). Today, I'm in finance industry, with some small shareholdings in a couple of biz with my childhood friends. I won't say I'm rich, but I'm ready to say I'm fairly comfortable. I also learnt valuable moral values that my friends admire and lacked courage to activate.

Will I use everything in my resources to ensure payback from my dad? No, because that will be plain spiteful. But if he came to me playing the "family" card and demand things from me and my family, just because he contributed his sperm, will I reject him? Yes, and to quote big bro DYBJ: "the choices he made shall dictate the life he leads".

This responsibility thing is what I assume Ladyrain is driving at, and I hope she sees it clearer in a different light, now that I put it into my own history as reference. A contribution of a man's bodily fluid doesn't mean he can abandon his fatherly duties and then later come back to claim what's not rightfully his. The only rightful thing is a name on my birth certificate, or in this case, bro porscheclub's.

This tussle need not turn out ugly. Bro DYBJ even gave Ladyrain benefit of doubt as he "could see that she might not be in the best of moods", and reminded her "not to jump into baseless conclusions". But she came back calling him a "boot-licker". This is all in print. Maybe as a non-juvenile responsibility evangelist, she could read back the exchange and decide how she wants to wrap this up, if she plans to.

IMO, I feel bro porscheclub deserves an apology - not for Ladyrain offering her opinion, but for the unwarranted attacks.

[PRCRammer]

Originally Posted by LeGarcon

And... Dafuq happened here man...

Hey dudes chill la wah lau. My thread now suddenly viewership going up hahahahah

To clear up a little ladyrain didn't put words in my mouth, she PM'ed me to tell me there's some war happening here I was miffed but didn't see the whole fracas here.

It's the weekend bros, don't let a small thing here ruin it. I appreciate the bros and sisters who posted here encouraging me and offering their advice, really. Now do me a favor and lets move on from here yeah?

Cheers and have a great week ahead

Bro so sorry i must have missed your post but there is something you wrote that caught my attention

Originally Posted by LeGarcon

To clear up a little ladyrain didn't put words in my mouth, she PM'ed me to tell me there's some war happening here

But what she posted was

Originally Posted by Ladyrain

Not gonna continue this saga.
Ts not happy Liao.

Now i understand. She PMed you to pull her out of the fire she started. Like I said to her in her thread, POWER!
This woman is absolutely morally amazing

[LeGarcon]

Seriously. Pls start another thread if you wish to quarrel and discuss how 'morally amazing' someone is.

Hope you guys can understand.

[hotstuffm8]

trolololol

[nuclearkid]

Originally Posted by Loving_Dickhead

Sorry, am I missing something?
DYBJ was -665 previously and now he is like +669. If this is so true, then bloody hell he must have gazillions of clones working for him. He would need 1334 points siah... omg!

Your impressions may not necessarily be the actual case. Refer to points 8-10 here. Moderation is simply enforced by placing a negative sign in front, easier to track. Once moderation period expires, negative sign is removed. I stand to be corrected on this and that's based on my observation after having been placed under moderation some moons back.

In your example above, 665 became -665 upon moderation. After expiration, back to 665 and an additional 4 points were further bestowed by other forummers. Final figure of 669 is attained with merely a +4 after moderation.

So my point is, you don't need that many clones. Just one with 4 points will do. Hence, Feee has not been proven wrong and s/he has valid suspicions there.

PS - My apologies again, bro LeGarcon. Paiseh paiseh, am contributing to the drivel count here. But I thought I would share something not evident to those who have never been moderated before.

[Ladyrain]

I am only apologetic towards Porscheclub for my spiteful blabbers and wrongful attacks and towards Legardon for digressing away from his thread's topic.

I wasn't trying to "friend friend" that itchy penis. I was simply referring to his post to my post and responding to my thread.

Yes. I was bad mouthing about that itchy penis when I REPLY to Minm whenever she drop me a pm first. What I didn't realize was that itchy penis will pry into it again and again and publicly show private messages out in the public which is distasteful. I could have jollywell done the same but sorry never my style.

I can also go on and continue arguing but ultimately I don't see the point because like I told minm, there will be morons lurking around.

I have my own thread. If they want to continue their nonsense, bring it over to my thread. I started the blabber, I refuse to let it continue over here. That will do ts a big injustice for his thread.

I said ts not happy meaning " he sees this thing started by me, will get unhappy about it" please lah. Educated people don't need me to specifically type out every single word like for a primary school kid who is learning English to understand what I'm trying to bring across.

And yes, I told Hotstuffm8, if that itchy penis dare to slap me, I DARE to kick his itchy penis too.

And yes, itchy penis, don't pretend to "disappear" and bring in your clones.
It's really very obvious to the public when you do that.

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

Originally Posted by LeGarcon

.....indeed I am mindfucked. This relapse isn't exactly a relapse. She has always been on my mind. Don't even know how I survived the past weeks. On one hand I'm handling my wife's sloth. On the other I'm debating whether to text belle again and try my luck.

I have spoken to some people online after this episode. I guess I'm in this rut cos I'm not looking to replace her. Normally I don't get this attached to online chatters. So i guess she really is someone special to me (of cos, it's my own POV, she probably has already buried my name away). So no, I'm not chatting online anymore.

Originally Posted by LeGarcon

We hit off quite well, my online friend, let's call her Belle. Over a few days we exchanged messages, talked about music, we talked about everything (except for sex, i steered clear of that). We clicked pretty well, she handled my kind of humor and she reciprocated. It's like I found my soulmate. Note that she wasn't the only one I talked to, I sent messages to other girls as well but they did not make any impact on me. I was sending her messages with the subtlest of sarcasms and she returned my shot with a barb of her own. It was like having conversational tennis.

Originally Posted by LeGarcon

A little update:

Somehow I texted her out of the blue, when I was smoking downstairs at the carpark. It was past midnight and I was just back from meeting some uni friends. I told her, "I wouldn't expect any reply but hey take care of yourself" locked the phone n put in my pocket

Suddenly the phone beeped, "Why do you keep on trying if you know I might not reply?"

I was very shocked. I didn't know what exactly to say in reply.

I swear I really didn't have time to think and this is probably the most stupid answer anyone could come up with. "cos I'm irritating." seriously wtf right.

Sobering up a bit, I added, "or maybe I'm genuinely concerned."

Her: "hhmm. Ok."

We've started talking again but now it's more like I'm providing her my virtual shoulder and virtual ear. My texts don't get replies most of the time unless she needs to talk about her problems. Am I sad about this? Yes I am but just as a friend. Honestly, au contraire to all logic and sense I still like her (perhaps virtually too?? Lol). But I guess the reality of work, family, kid, wife etc is weighing down on me and I cannot afford to be affected again like last time. .
.
.
Me: " I'm a text away if you need me"

Her: "thank you."

I guess I don't have to update anymore dear friends on SBF. unless there's some big unexpected change in events. Really appreciate those who shared their own problems with me. Those who offer support and advice, and those who wanna make friends. stay in touch via PM, I'll be sticking around.

No offense.

There is a big difference between a personal friend and a social network site friend cos being a friend online doesn't make that person into a real friend. At the end of the day, the myriad benefits and opportunities that an online social network provides is only to serve as an escape from some of the stress troubling realities of life. For example, Sammyboyforum for sex trouble and sex stress

I think you answered your own question. You fall in love with a fantasy that incorporates all the traits you believe this person to have, and you throw in a few more qualities that you admire just to make the deal sweeter! You imagine her to be perfect for you! It is, of course, pure fantasy. Is it falling head over heels or found a soulmate? ......................Nay.......Far from it.....She's just a souless virtual dreammate, that's all.

In layman's terms: When I am sian and bo-liao, I clik on you, I hi-hi you, I friend-friend you, I talk cock sing some songs, you talk pussy sing some choruses, fun-fun me and fun-fun you

We fall in love with a whole person after we've experienced both their good sides and bad. It is okay to seek fun and fantasize. Just don't confuse fantasy with reality, and don't spend so much time with fantasy that you have no real, tangible relationships. Time to get real and solve some reallife problems. What's online stays online. Just move on and it is meaningless to cling on this "More harm than good fantasy" cos you will get hurt and mess up your marriage life . Good luck and cheers

[hotstuffm8]

trolololol

[Thai Rak Thai]

hope to see continue of story

[M1N1Ster]

TS, my predicament is also sama sama with u ... i fell in love with someone too but just could not help it... the other party cant accept that I am married too...
cut whole story short.... we decided we not going to have a future together... so we sort of pull the plug...

bro, cut before u are more deeply in love with that someone...

that's life... some things in life... we will never have...

[iMonk]

Originally Posted by andyting

I fell in love with almost every girl i met online. What's wrong with the girls nowadays? Always stay online and neber go out to beautify the streets?

bro, be careful... there are lots of sex maniac around who like to play Master Mind games

[cablesnwires]

Wow, been MIA for so long, and the first thread that i see is this. Anyway, LeGarcon, good luck in your road to recovery.

[LeGarcon]

Wow bros and sistas, I haven't looked back at my thread for a while. Quite surprised to see it still alive. Thanks for the PMs and encouragement I still receive every now and then.

Belle had some issues and is now finally back together with her bf. prior to that I had been her virtual shoulder, her support. When she needed to let things out she would text me. I would text her to make sure she was ok, while I was balancing a new job, my wife's sloth and a whole lot personal problems.

So belle finally cleared things up with the bf n the last msg from her was almost a month ago. Said she was with her bf and requested I not text her cos her bf wouldn't like it and would text me when she could. The exact last MSG reads, "will text you when i can, don't reply". And.......... That's it. Oh well. I haven't texted her since and from the updated whatsapp profile (the new version that allows us to use our own pics on our profiles) she's very happy now with her bf.

Will she remember the guy who was deeply concerned with her well-being ("i can't thank you enough for being there for me..." she said). Don't think so. Would she even think of the guy who clicked on an intimate and intellectual level with her? Don't think so.

So guys, don't be a fool for someone whom you haven't met. Nice guys don't get appreciated. Been a nice guy for 30 over years and what do I get? Oh well.

Contrary to what many have mentioned, I have tried to make things improve in my marriage but I guess theres only so much I can do. My only wish is for my kid to grow up healthily. And bros please don't try and tell me to work on it yadda yadda. I appreciate it. But really some things are not meant to be. I'm fucking sick and tired but I'm trudging on for the sake of my kid. I'll concentrate on my career n concentrate on earning that first million and shall care less about other things.

To Maseratis and Porsches that we are all aiming for, to the nice men who provided shoulders for women to cry on only to be ditched like a doormat. To the guys who have to deal with crap in their marriage. To the ppl here who have given me encouragements and valuable advice. Thank you.

[Ladyrain]

Nice girls, nice wives. They don't get appreciated too.