Pearl of the Orient

[jconnor]

A young couple were on their way to Vegas to get married. Before getting there, the girl said to the guy that she had a confession to make. The reason that they have not been too intimate is because she is very flat chested.

"If you want to cancel the wedding, then I'll understand," she said. The guy remarked, "I don't mind that you're flat, and sex is not the most important thing in a marriage a
nyway."

Several miles down the road, the guy turned to the girl and said that he also had a confession to make. The reason that they have not been too intimate is because he is just like a baby below the waist. The girl remarked, "I don't mind that like a baby below the
waist, and sex is not the most important thing in a marriage anyway."

And so, the happy couple went on to Vegas and got married. On their wedding night, the girl took off her clothes. True to her word, she is as flat as a washboard. Then, the guy took
off his clothes. After one glance at his naked body, the girl fainted and fell to the floor.

When she regained consciousness, the guy said, "I told you before we got married, so why were you so surprised?"

"You told me it was just like a baby." The guy replied, "It is! 8 pounds and 21 inches long!"

[jconnor]

Apparently the Catholic Church has announced that condoms may now be used in exceptional circumstances.

For example, when a choir boy has diarrhoea.

[jconnor]

I said to my wife, "I'm tired of looking in this mirror and seeing my big beer belly, so I'm going to do something about it."

She replied, "Excellent idea. You're going to start working out at the gym then?"

"Don't be silly. I'm buying a shorter mirror."

[jconnor]

I went to see the Red Arrows today.

There were gasps of "Ooh" and "Aah" as the crowds watched on in amazement. Near miss after near miss had some people covering their eyes and shaking their heads in disbelief.

It was a good half hour's worth of entertainment, but in the end, my wife finally managed to park the car and we made our way to the air show.

[raj85]

This couple had been dating for about six months, but the guy had been afraid to make any sexual advances because of his tiny organ.
Finally one night, he gets up his courage, and takes her to a secluded spot in his car.
While they are kissing, he opens his zipper and guides her hand onto his penis.
"No thanks," the girl says. "You know I don't smoke."

[raj85]

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.
They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."
She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."

[raj85]

1. Between the ages of 16 and 18, she is like Africa, virgin and unexplored.

2. Between the ages of 19 and 35, she is like Asia, hot and exotic.

3. Between the ages of 36 and 45, she is like America, fully explored, breathtakingly beautiful, and free with her resources.

4. Between the ages of 46 and 56, she is like Europe, exhausted but still has points of interest.

5. After 56 she is like Australia, everybody knows it's down there but who gives a damn?

[raj85]

After the baby was born, the panicked Japanese father went to see the obstetrician. "Doctor," he said, "I don't mind telling you, but I'm a little upset because my daughter has red hair. She can't possibly be mine."
"Nonsense," the doctor said. "Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool."
"It isn't possible," the man insisted. "We're pure Asian."
"Well," said the doctor, "let me ask you this. How often do you have sex?"
The man seemed ashamed. "I've been working very hard for the past year. We only made love once or twice a month."
"There you have it!" the doctor said confidently. "It's just rust."

[raj85]

Two parents take their son on a vacation and go to a nude beach. The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water. The son comes running up to his mom and says "Mommy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!"
The mom says, "The bigger they are, the dumber they are."
So he goes back to play. Minutes later he runs back and says, "Mommy, I saw men with dingers a lot bigger than Daddy's!"
The mom says, "The bigger they are, the dumber they are."
So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says, "Mommy, I just saw Daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw and the more and more he talked, the dumber and dumber he got!"

[BANDofBRO]

Originally Posted by raj85

hi bandofbro..plz check your pm...today i got 1 damm bad experience....i went to massage nearby tambun...the girl damm hot....never seen such a gorgeous gal in massage centre..but the girl tricked me...after the massage sesion finished ..left another 10 mins for batin..she started do batin for me..she asked me to pay first..okloh...i paid first ...suddenly the clocked ringed..times up..the girl said to me to cum fast fat..i said how can like that...then she said...polis is coomin to raid and ushered me out of room without completing my climaks...when i go down i saw nobody there...holy shit..i'm ain't goin there anymore...fucked up ..

Hi bro , already pm u...

[Scorpioking87]

Wah suddenly so many gems keep popping up in this thread...

[Futaba]

Originally Posted by Scorpioking87

Wah suddenly so many gems keep popping up in this thread...

Got gems meh?...where? where?...no c also

[Scorpioking87]

Originally Posted by Futaba

Got gems meh?...where? where?...no c also

Jokes lah bro...our Master Seng Seng started the ball rolling

[Scorpioking87]

Just a word of caution for u guys here. There is one okt in Penang who has been operating for quite some time now. name is J*^#b..just like the biscuits..price of his stocks are quite pricey.

Since I got some free time during the long weekend, I tot I jz sampled his stocks out. I dun want to go thru the ignominy of putting a shitty FR, but suffice to say it is certainly not a worthwhile session. Tried out a 20 yr old Turk after some clubbing.attractive looking but unfortunately with sagging boobs..supposed to hv an overnight session with her but for the first time, I came across a WL who only services her clients in the night and early morning b4 the sun rises... Have any of you met this werewolf or werewolverine? When I was doing her, she was like moaning n shouting so loudly until the other hotel guests knocked on the door. Told her to zip it even though she was grunting away like Maria sharapova.

Then, the next morning when the sun rose, she said she couldn't hv sex in the morning cos she only has the mood at night.. and to top it off, she said she was exhausted...from a single bonk?? Din know the euro recession cause the European sexual organs to go thru recession as well...

Told the okt off but he asked me to try out another one..I m not going to say how much I paid for werewolf girl but the okt was giving all sorts of excuses like that the girl had to travel to a neighboring country the next day to hv her visa renewed blah blah blah... Problem is why din he say so earlier?? Some more he can proclaim his girls are all tip notch one..haven't we heard this line far too often?

[Futaba]

Originally Posted by Scorpioking87

Just a word of caution for u guys here. There is one okt in Penang who has been operating for quite some time now. name is J*^#b..just like the biscuits..price of his stocks are quite pricey.

Tats y I never like to go for any agent.
It's not that I got any thing againts them but I've heard & had too many bad experience & dissapointments.
If it's yrself choose or find u'll not feel that coz it's yr own choice but if it's a recomendation or a promo then u'll feel cheated after paying such a pricey & unsatisfactory treatment.