Safe to travel alone with PRC GF back to China?

[lurpsexx]

Appendum...

I did not give my China MM anything while she was here, as I also pok kai like TS, only stay with her in her hotel room nia.. but we had enjoyable time together la.. but not keep in touch liao as we know it is just temporary...

she also tell me not to be too serious abt china mei mei as they all have same priority = ie make as much $$$ as possible here then bug out... all others no need to care...

So TS, u better not give her any money (like the 2.5k SGD she asked for), as u yourself also in deep shit liao.. she only wan to go home faster n u are her ticket out lo..

When u in China, if she refuses all your requests to bunk in her house & stick close to her, then u can check in to cheep cheep hotel n treat it as holiday la.. save the 1K SGD still in your socks!...

watever it is, its ur life n no one will live it for u.. u decide...

P.S. anyone wan to talk more on this issue over la kopi session, can PM me la.. me free la, but so pok kai now until i also cannot afford coffee liao.. haiz... its the damn PRCs fault!!

[aczeta76]

Originally Posted by lurpsexx

Actually wat TS n all bros say liao is common for all WLs from all nationalities la.. its how good they are in the Tirak Trap. China gals more materialistic = kan cheong, n wan to make more money fast fast; thats why they say work as waitress or factory gal earn $$ slow ma.. also true la.. they pay loads of $$ come here find BF meh.. tat said, their 1st priority here is $$$.. PERIOD.

Wat i wan to say is the PRC gal SEEMS like concerned abt u, but u must tell her wat u DUN have then see how she reacts lo.. if she willing to spend time with u (like ON) n forgoing earning $$ on the streets, maybe she likes u la.. but for u to be a BF (I did not say Husband ah...) material, u need to be much more for her lo.. so dun fall head over heels so early n think u are hubby to her liao.. YOU ARE NOT!! You need to go thru much more & longer with her, n be fit for her lifestyle before she even considers u as a BF.. Yet u only knew her for 3 weeks!!! Hahaha.. premature liao la...

...

True enuff... My GF used to work in factory doing all the Jap snacks and she told me she cannot take it.. hot place, smelly and earn juz 1000+ RMB a month with OT thrown in..

So, at this point she will not do this. But she is starting a mahjong joint with mum so at least 'decent' life lah and no need $$ for living from me. (She prefers I save up to visit her more often.. best is once every month or 2)

On the BF thing, she did tell me tt her defn of a BF is one who can be with her all the time which is why we are still testing out the long distance thing.. She was telling me that 'they' need emotional support too when they are down so ...

Anyway, talk is cheap. Wait for my trip then talk lah

[dap26]

After all,as bros hv said,prc is here to earn $$....Maybe some feel lonely so hope to earn some $$ as well as company..So dun fall too deep wif them...Unless u r willing to take the risk...

[azzaro23]

Originally Posted by lurpsexx

Wat i wan to say is the PRC gal SEEMS like concerned abt u, but u must tell her wat u DUN have then see how she reacts lo.. if she willing to spend time with u (like ON) n forgoing earning $$ on the streets, maybe she likes u la.. but for u to be a BF (I did not say Husband ah...) material, u need to be much more for her lo.. so dun fall head over heels so early n think u are hubby to her liao.. YOU ARE NOT!! You need to go thru much more & longer with her, n be fit for her lifestyle before she even considers u as a BF.. Yet u only knew her for 3 weeks!!! Hahaha.. premature liao la...

Ask her if u can sleep over at her place, take the same tpt as her n interact more with her family.. be part of her life lo... see how she will react.. if she give excuses like her house old la, many people la, not enuf room la, u wont like their street food la, u wun like their buses la blah blah blah, then u better watch out.. she got things to hide liao.. yup, some bros are correct to say that the "brother" is actually her BF or husband la, n her whole family may also be in the act too!! :

So, dun be too upset when bros say negative things.. they are just sharing their life stories... treat this as a short holiday and try to discover what she is all abt.. but this 7 days "fact finding" mission of yours is really too short la!!!; more days better as she cannot hide so much for too long ma and u can see her for who she really is. Then u can decide if she is worth all the words n anguish u are feeling now...

.

Thanks bro for yr long post, what you have quote really reflected the situation I am with her now.

When I get to know her she willing to spend time with me & not going to work , like what u quote maybe she just like me as she alone in Singapore and I happen to show her care & concern at that appropriate time. Anyway for now she consider me as her BF and our trip back to China is for me to know her without the GL element to see if I am still want her as my GF or even wife or I might like to think once she back there then she consider seriously if I am BF or husband potential that one of reason I want to go back with her is to give her the assurance.

For the trip I will be staying over at her place and I just mere mentioned I want to visit her family with her she didn't object in fact she say she glad I brought this up as she wanted to show me whatever she say is true about her family. Anyway she has her own apartment in the city just if have to visit her family it would be in the outskirts of the city. From the point i told her that I am keen to go back her she didn't make any effort to like hide any details even to the extend of telling me if i don't believe what she say, I can always see it there with my own eyes.

I am not upset about the comments given by the bros here, in fact I welcome the things they say as they can shed light to my problem from different angles. What I am upset about is in this realtionship I have absolute no control over it and I am always in a passive stage waiting for her moves b4 I can make any moves. It is so infuriating to love a person & yet you can't do nothing in advance to let them know they hold a special place in my heart. Helplessness that what I called it.

For now I try to steer towards the direction of going on a trip with her cum holiday trip plus a bit of fact finding. Me being lor so again hope my emotions i am feeling for her can tahan me to then.

[aczeta76]

Please let go and forget about the fact finding bit lah...

Less burden and just let things develop over time.. dun rush it

[azzaro23]

Originally Posted by lurpsexx

Sorry ah.. I lo soh a bit here la.. I read all bros comments liao n think i see a pattern.. bear with me a while k?

Actually wat TS n all bros say liao is common for all WLs from all nationalities la.. its how good they are in the Tirak Trap. China gals more materialistic = kan cheong, n wan to make more money fast fast; thats why they say work as waitress or factory gal earn $$ slow ma.. also true la.. they pay loads of $$ come here find BF meh.. tat said, their 1st priority here is $$$.. PERIOD.

As for BF or watever shit, of course if they can hook a loser who can give them unlimited $$$ then of course they will put up a good show for you while they milk u dry la.. n when u dry liao, hee hee u get thrown out with the trash lo.. Me also got Chinese MM as GF before too n she also street walker like TS GF ma... so i know a bit of everything la,incl the Tirak traps...

Wat i wan to say is the PRC gal SEEMS like concerned abt u, but u must tell her wat u DUN have then see how she reacts lo.. if she willing to spend time with u (like ON) n forgoing earning $$ on the streets, maybe she likes u la.. but for u to be a BF (I did not say Husband ah...) material, u need to be much more for her lo.. so dun fall head over heels so early n think u are hubby to her liao.. YOU ARE NOT!! You need to go thru much more & longer with her, n be fit for her lifestyle before she even considers u as a BF.. Yet u only knew her for 3 weeks!!! Hahaha.. premature liao la...

As for ur trip to China, bring 2K SGD la.. but keep 1K in your socks.. tell her u only got enuf (1k SGD) for the flight n food. Ask her if u can sleep over at her place, take the same tpt as her n interact more with her family.. be part of her life lo... see how she will react.. if she give excuses like her house old la, many people la, not enuf room la, u wont like their street food la, u wun like their buses la blah blah blah, then u better watch out.. she got things to hide liao.. yup, some bros are correct to say that the "brother" is actually her BF or husband la, n her whole family may also be in the act too!! same shit happening to bros with Thai GFs too ma.. its in their culture..(yes, I got Thai GF before too.. )

So, dun be too upset when bros say negative things.. they are just sharing their life stories... treat this as a short holiday and try to discover what she is all abt.. but this 7 days "fact finding" mission of yours is really too short la!!!; more days better as she cannot hide so much for too long ma and u can see her for who she really is. Then u can decide if she is worth all the words n anguish u are feeling now...

Sorry ah! too lo soh liao.. just my $5 worth.. kekeke...

Originally Posted by aczeta76

Please let go and forget about the fact finding bit lah...

Less burden and just let things develop over time.. dun rush it

Yup once I find a way of keeping my feelings in check then let things take it own courses.

[lurpsexx]

Originally Posted by azzaro23

What I am upset about is in this realtionship I have absolute no control over it and I am always in a passive stage waiting for her moves b4 I can make any moves.

No la.. U shld make all the moves and make her walk to ur tune... As a potential BF or even hubby, women tend to like the men to take the lead one, esp those from traditional countries.. If u always listen to her, she may think u are a dog, and can't make the impt decisions that will make her feel more secure with u lo... So, are u a DOG or a MAN??

We SG men all too brainwashed since small to follow orders; its time for u to step up n take charge la... Its YOUR life u know..

BTW, you guys going up to CHina hor, bring some tidbits back leh.. la kopi session time got something special to munch ma.. kekeke..

[colins]

Originally Posted by azzaro23

...she didn't object in fact she say she glad I brought this up as she wanted to show me whatever she say is true about her family. ...she didn't make any effort to like hide any details even to the extend of telling me if i don't believe what she say, I can always see it there with my own eyes...

Hey bro, its always the deal of proving beyond doubt part that makes you believe in something beyond what you can and should. Trust me, they're good in this. Until a point you start to trust and when you see something out of what you think is acceptable, your own sense tells you its ok also. So do be cautious even if you think she has got nothing to hide.

[aczeta76]

Originally Posted by lurpsexx

No la.. U shld make all the moves and make her walk to ur tune... As a potential BF or even hubby, women tend to like the men to take the lead one, esp those from traditional countries.. If u always listen to her, she may think u are a dog, and can't make the impt decisions that will make her feel more secure with u lo... So, are u a DOG or a MAN??

Ya... They like Da Nan Ren.. who can provide for them and control them.

After I care less about wat she feels and juz took control, she started to love me more.. You muz learn the balance to let her know that you love her but she muz listen to you for big issues.

Once you done that, you win her respect and she will be yours as she knows you can take care of her. If you cannot even control her THEN how can she expect you to take care of her life and allow her to be dependent on you.

Think about it

[goodpartner]

Originally Posted by azzaro23

... to see if I am still want her as my GF or even wife or I might like to think once she back there then she consider seriously if I am BF or husband potential that one of reason I want to go back with her is to give her the assurance.

Bro, while I do encourage you to make the trip and treat it as a life experience and adventure, taking it to the next step (husband) is a whole different thing altogether. i.e. this trip alone is [grossly] not enough for you to determine that.

If you have any other options at all, DON'T consider a WL for a wife regardless of what she say she may become or what you believe she can become. I'm sure you can read about all the woes in other threads. I'm not stereotyping; Again, if you have other choices...

Even if you're broke and she can accept that, she may be after the Sg citizenship if that's what you can provide her. However, given what I can deduce about your financial situation, applying for her PR, etc will be a challenge. In all, it's really gonna be a TOUGH life ahead if you ever consider her as a wife material.

For now, just relax and enjoy this adventurous trip, don't think so far. Bring your POSB or credit card with pin# to withdraw emergency cash (I don't think it's wise to stuff so many CASH here and there). You don't have to let anyone know you have the cards or pin... but trust me you'll find it useful in PRC (ATMs).

And .... after reading all these "concerns" from you, sorry that I've to agree with the bros who are in the opinion that you won't get far with this relatiionship - Frankly, I don't think you're up for it too.

[aczeta76]

Originally Posted by goodpartner

Bro, while I do encourage you to make the trip and treat it as a life experience and adventure, taking it to the next step (husband) is a whole different thing altogether. i.e. this trip alone is [grossly] not enough for you to determine that.

If you have any other options at all, DON'T consider a WL for a wife regardless of what she say she may become or what you believe she can become. I'm sure you can read about all the woes in other threads. I'm not stereotyping; Again, if you have other choices...

Even if you're broke and she can accept that, she may be after the Sg citizenship if that's what you can provide her. However, given what I can deduce about your financial situation, applying for her PR, etc will be a challenge. In all, it's really gonna be a TOUGH life ahead if you ever consider her as a wife material.

For now, just relax and enjoy this adventurous trip, don't think so far. Bring your POSB or credit card with pin# to withdraw emergency cash (I don't think it's wise to stuff so many CASH here and there). You don't have to let anyone know you have the cards or pin... but trust me you'll find it useful in PRC (ATMs).

And .... after reading all these "concerns" from you, sorry that I've to agree with the bros who are in the opinion that you won't get far with this relatiionship - Frankly, I don't think you're up for it too.

Bro, not true here lah..

I actually broke up with my SG GF for this girl and she knows about it.

Key thing is my heart told me it was rite and she is still very young so I am giving her 2 years to mature and see if we have a future together.

WL or not... when feelings come, you cannot lie to yourself

[azzaro23]

Originally Posted by aczeta76

Ya... They like Da Nan Ren.. who can provide for them and control them.

After I care less about wat she feels and juz took control, she started to love me more.. You muz learn the balance to let her know that you love her but she muz listen to you for big issues.

Once you done that, you win her respect and she will be yours as she knows you can take care of her. If you cannot even control her THEN how can she expect you to take care of her life and allow her to be dependent on you.

Think about it

Well I have told her about the big issues have plan for us she seems happy that I plan that for her....

Same old shit for me if I can control my jealous & missing her whenever she working, everything going to be allright for her, myself & my job....

[aczeta76]

For your ref... My 大男人 does not mean MCP

Dun plan too far ahead and be too dreamy. Dunno about the rest but my GF always tell me... In PRC, u dunno wat will happen in a year (Die, murdered, raped) so plan too far oso Mei Yi Shi

But show her that you will be able to help her "Tahan" even if the sky drops down AND you will 无条件宠她


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[otur]

Originally Posted by aczeta76

For your ref... My 大男人 does not mean MCP

Dun plan too far ahead and be too dreamy. Dunno about the rest but my GF always tell me... In PRC, u dunno wat will happen in a year (Die, murdered, raped) so plan too far oso Mei Yi Shi

the saying is 计划不如变化
planning cant overcome changes
but we s'porean like to plan things n work according to schedule, SOP etc.
if u really reallly wan, be prepared for all last min changes.
i kana 1 gal (non-WL) whom i noe online. have been interacting for like almost 2 yrs n when i 1st met her, she invited me to stay in her place. needless to say of cos i onz her.
then 3mths later i went back to see her cos it was her b-day. we stay happily in a hotel together this time cos her bro was staying in her apartment. 5days later on the eve of her b=day we went celebration in a ktv with her bro n some of her friends. her bro was calling me 姐夫 all the while. n after the drink while walking back she told me she wanna go up to the apartment to collect something ask me to go back hotel rooms. her apartment was just 30 steps fr the hotel. so of cos i went. few min later she send me sms saying 对不起，我还是忘不了我的初恋，你忘了我吧。n till today i never see her again. not even online.
i book my ticket to go come back sg 4days later. so wat m i to do? next morning lanlan i go bus stn buy ticket go from the small town to a bigger town n buy ticket to another town to meet some of my other frens n stay with them till its time to come home.
i still miss her cos she treat me real nice when we were together n she is onli 21yrs old born in 1987. the body v solid n she dose nice bbbj on me
but so wat? life gose on la.
so if u wanna go also be prepared for all these......

[otur]

Originally Posted by otur

the saying is 计划不如变化
planning cant overcome changes

so if u wanna go also be prepared for all these......

btw this not the 1st 1. but the 2nd 1 i kana
the 1st 1 similar case. i still see her but no more going to bed liao.