How long did you not have sex with your wife or gf?

Sorry again all rbos and sis my post seriously long but I wish to reply all the valid comments here and how I feel on the matter... maybe hopefully next time it may help some other bros... sorry and thanks for your patience

Aces68

Sometimes, I also wonder whether she's having an affair..once I found a 2 page note which she had scribbled describing how she admired one of her colleagues..it was damn heartbreaking when I found the note..I even knew the guy, but she claimed that it was nothing..she said that he's a good friend and he's married and has GF by the side. So, I said, "how come you wrote all those things..did you think of me when you wrote them?"...She said "I'm sorry, there's nothing between me and him, we are just good friends." I accepted it as I honestly don;t know what to make of the whole situation.

Bro Aces68,

Sorry if I offend you but I seriously think she is cheating on you… My gf did the same thing. I discovered on her sms-es she emailing the fucker calling her cute names and he sms-ing back calling her cute names. I demand what the hell is all that about and she denied that there is anything, he is just a common friend. At that time, she was already getting fucked by him. And there were several instances she never replied her handphone and those times she was also actually in bed with him but she denied everything at the beginning. It was only when after a few months when she finally confessed to me on her cheating on me. So, if you have a feeling that your girl is up to something and you found indications, you better start doing some checkings and get to the bottom of it. Sometimes, being more nice to your girl and you may actually get her to confess. She is actually waiting for the right time when you are the happiest so she can drop the bomb on you and expect you to forgive her… it suck but that’s how some girls think


Frankiestine

Divorce is no joke my friend...it is a major impact on one life, suddenly you find that overnight what you had taken to be for granted are no longer there, family, house and yes money...my divorce cost me nearly $150k...…

Oh my God!! That’s a lot… I presume that’s the exwife getting half of your properties… In that case, it should be a little bit more then that for me… ;p die liao...

Sagiboar

Both of you must be committed. Committed enough that even when one of you got no sex drive anymore, still have to find ways to get in the mood to make love.

Never neglect spouse because of the children. Always find time for each other.

Communicate, communicate, communicate.

Recommendation to all... go read The Five Languages of Love by Gary Chapman. Cheap book, light read, very insightful about love. Wish I read it before my marriage went down the drain. It isn't everything, but it's a good tool to have in your marriage.

I'm divorced. But I still see marriage in positive light. What's different for me now is that I'm more ready to make things work and wiser to see problems coming before they drop on my toes. I only worry whether my gf has the will to see us through marital problems.

Last of all, if you are looking for affirmation about marriage, don't even say wrong thread, you are looking in the wrong forum.

Bro sagiboar, I still can’t find the book T__T hehe… but no worries, tonight I go bookshop again…

[doggifier]

Originally Posted by mscucky

i used to have a very solid views on marriage ....shud we not get married? if get married, will things change ?
too many negative reports here on marriage...is there any good side on marriage? . it's very scary and i don't like this feelings....

Hey don't be so dishearten there are marriages that work too except we are now +++ing about those that don't work so well. There is always many view to a suituation except that U now choose to read the negative view Just read and learn from the mistake here bcos life is too short to learnt from just your own mistake.

[mscucky]

Originally Posted by doggifier

Hey don't be so dishearten there are marriages that work too except we are now +++ing about those that don't work so well. There is always many view to a suituation except that U now choose to read the negative view Just read and learn from the mistake here bcos life is too short to learnt from just your own mistake.

i m frightened with the thoughts of marrying coz very much myself is a family woman. see all brudders talk, sulk n complain, i feel so sad n so afraid to think marriage is a good thing to do....

[mscucky]

Originally Posted by BustLover

Very well said. This forum will only lead you astray; tempt you with cheap and easy sex and worst of all, may also cost your life if you are addicted to it.

well said. i guess if not careful n strong enuff. will be led to the dark side very easily.

[aces68]

Originally Posted by klzombie

Bro Aces68,

.....It was only when after a few months when she finally confessed to me on her cheating on me. So, if you have a feeling that your girl is up to something and you found indications, you better start doing some checkings and get to the bottom of it. Sometimes, being more nice to your girl and you may actually get her to confess. She is actually waiting for the right time when you are the happiest so she can drop the bomb on you and expect you to forgive her… it suck but that’s how some girls think

…

Bro, thanks for the advice. I will try it out. Do you mind telling exactly how you got her to confess to you? I could use some help from your experience.

[BustLover]

Originally Posted by aces68

Bro, thanks for the advice. I will try it out. Do you mind telling exactly how you got her to confess to you? I could use some help from your experience.

Bro Aces68, if I were you, I rather not try to get my spouse to confess. To me, TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships.
When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust
leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and
enmity may result in separation.

Let me share with you this story that was circulated to me from a colleague:

A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call.
She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence. She
repeated, "PUB."

There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she
Heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my
Husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is."
Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the
telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of "PUB".

I always remember this saying, "No news is good news." and the other one:-
"Hear Nothing, See Nothing and Do Nothing..."
Life is short, there are much better things to do as a couple.

[Rainman]

Originally Posted by Frankiestine

Divorce is no joke my friend...it is a major impact on one life, suddenly you find that overnight what you had taken to be for granted are no longer there, family, house and yes money...my divorce cost me nearly $150k...

Same same lah...

Cost me Sin 20 to get married exclude the ceremony and honeymoon but cost u an arm and leg to get divorce.

Not to mention the fact that she refused to sign the paper costing me another 3 years of separation.

Sigh...

[Rainman]

Originally Posted by mscucky

i used to have a very solid views on marriage where i want to love my man and be the best for him in n out..hv my children. be a good wife, mom n daughter in law....

. however, after coming to sb and reading this thread in particular, i m very frightened to see marriage in a positive lights...it's now a very mixed feelings. shud we not get married? if get married, will things change ?

too many negative reports here on marriage...is there any good side on marriage? . it's very scary and i don't like this feelings....

Sis.

There are still exceptional and happy couples out there.

My current Wife is really understanding, we had problem before like everybody said. Refuses to make love after the birth of our kid.

Took a long while to finally be back to where we were before.

So patience helps. Discussion and be open about what u think is very important.

Cheers

[Frankiestine]

Originally Posted by Rainman

Same same lah...

Cost me Sin 20 to get married exclude the ceremony and honeymoon but cost u an arm and leg to get divorce.

Not to mention the fact that she refused to sign the paper costing me another 3 years of separation.

Sigh...

yeah and every month i am reminded of this mistake thru the maintenance and alimony which is nearly 1k...

[BustLover]

Originally Posted by Rainman

Same same lah...

Cost me Sin 20 to get married exclude the ceremony and honeymoon but cost u an arm and leg to get divorce.

Not to mention the fact that she refused to sign the paper costing me another 3 years of separation.

Sigh...

Let me quote you some real facts about Marriage/Divorce...

Marriage is a happy ocassion, Divorce is a heartbreaking affair.
Marriage certificate is Cheap, Divorce certificate is Expensive.
Marriage is all about Love, Divorce is all about hate & money.
Marriage process is easy, Divorce proceeding is torturing.

Therefore one should never enter into marriage lightly with the view to divorce if it doesn't work out.
After marriage, the couple must never ever thought of DIVORCE.
The word "DIVORCE" must never be spurted out in any argument.
Basically, marriage is a life-long committment, for better or worse, for richer or poorer,
in good health or bad as a COUPLE with good teamwork!

[Rainman]

Originally Posted by aces68

Slowly, our sex life became lifeless and she started to complain when I try kiss her or touch her. Sometimes, even touching her breasts was a big no..no. She always says not tonight, tomorrow can ? when tomorrow comes, she forgets or she's tired..I no longer have the energy and desire to try and initiate sex. I don;t want to feel like a beggar, having to beg for sex..in my heart it feels damn humiliating. I have a high sex drive, so it's really frustrating for me. I have open discussions with her about how I feel, but there's little improvement.
(

Up your point...

Wonder how many bro ever encounter or could imagine..... The husband goes to the toilet to PCC when there on the bed is your nice wife that refuses to have sex with you. Sigh.....

Can a normal man go to bed with a hard on???

It was difficult but we managed..... after a long while...


Cheers

[jemz]

Originally Posted by mscucky

i used to have a very solid views on marriage where i want to love my man and be the best for him in n out..hv my children. be a good wife, mom n daughter in law....

. however, after coming to sb and reading this thread in particular, i m very frightened to see marriage in a positive lights...it's now a very mixed feelings. shud we not get married? if get married, will things change ?

too many negative reports here on marriage...is there any good side on marriage? . it's very scary and i don't like this feelings....

hi missy

i went through the exact same thingw hen i 1st joined sbf. i came here to check out what menw ill become after marriage and honestly, i hated what i found out. as much as i love to play, i will never be unfaithful and flirt outside once im married. but it hurts to see the guys complain abt their wives not making effort and searching outside for extras. i believe in this day and age, the complaints of being tired are really genuine. they havent tried working and coming back to do chores and look after the husband. i havent got to the stage yet of having kids but sometimes these 3 things will leave me dead by the end of the day. the last thing i sometimes want will be sex.

marriage certainly does change u in certain ways. for the better i believe. if you look at the whole picture. men here generally complains abt the lack of sex. but we women generally looks at the love and being loved, cherished aspect. so naturally, we're very disappointed lo. but most imptly, is to have faith and confidence in yourself

like i feel from the beginning, if it seriously doesnt work out, den divorce lo but it'll be the last resort of coz.do not put off marriage because of the few comments here that you builds up your fear. it is a wonderful thing to come home and share your life with someone you love and look forward to after a shit day's work. and the plus that he will sayang you when u sulk.

maybe becuz im young so when i act cute sometimes he likes it alot. mwahahah... i dont want to think when im 35yrs old, i act cute, i think he will vomit.

[yankim3]

hiaz its really bad to know that the person u love so much is cheating on your and getting fucked outside. haiz

[Frankiestine]

Originally Posted by jemz

men here generally complains abt the lack of sex. but we women generally looks at the love and being loved,

The sad truth is love has to be cultivated, it cannot be left alone to grow...and how you cultivate it, like so many gurus had said before, respect, communicate, sharing, etc etc and also sex...sad but truth...sex to me is a major factor in cultivating my love for my wife..not becos i view her as a sex toy but rather how comfortable she feels in bed with me...if she feels uncomfortable at being touched and kiss by me in bed when we are trying to have sex...don't you think this will affect the other aspect of our marriage?

[Rainman]

Originally Posted by BustLover

Let me quote you some real facts about Marriage/Divorce...

Marriage is a happy ocassion, Divorce is a heartbreaking affair.
Marriage certificate is Cheap, Divorce certificate is Expensive.
Marriage is all about Love, Divorce is all about hate & money.
Marriage process is easy, Divorce proceeding is torturing.

Sigh... how true.....

Would ask my wife to read this thread later...

heheheh

Cheers