My crazy lifestyle & the price I paid for it

[alan0338]

camp here ...

[francined69]

camping here too!

[gotnotime]

My gut feeling tells me it's gonna be a very intensely emotional story, but nonetheless, please carry on!

[S|B3HSI@N]

Originally Posted by kristin18

I gave him my all & made him my world. But somewhere along the course of the relationship, the love between us faded. The differences made us quarrel more frequently than ever & gradually our flaws started to make us hate each other. It was amazing how we could love & hate each other at the same time, hence the only solution was to go our separate ways. It was a painful break up. I was a fucking mess, to say the least. I lost all hope & faith in love. I decided that I didn't wanna get into a committed relationship ever again because I could not stand the pain of breaking up. So I started this crazy lifestyle. This crazy, self-destructive lifestyle.

What I did
I became a crazy party animal. Sounds quite harmless, right? That was what I thought too. I couldn't see what was wrong in seeking consolation in booze & liquor. I loved the feeling of getting high. It numbed me from the pain.

Oh, sorry to hear about this girl, but frankly these are generally where grave mistakes are made in life when u tend to give it all up and sought solace and consolation from alcohol or drugs... the physical damage on top of the emotional can be really damaging and unforeseeable. Hope that you have risen and recovered from all these issues and got yourself back together.

[kristin18]

At times when I got drunk, I would break down in the clubs because I couldn't control my emotions, but for the most part, I liked how the alcohol numbed my emotions together with my senses. Partying became an addiction, but at that moment it seemed harmless.

I loved the attention I was getting from the men even though I wasn't the most attractive lady in the clubs. I met all kinds of men -- good looking ones, average ones, & some filthy rich ones. But guys being guys, they were obviously only after one thing: sex. & for some strange reason, I felt flattered that they wanted to sleep with me. It meant that I was attractive enough to them, & that made me feel good.

I partied really hard, & got drunk every other day. Dealing with unbearable hangovers was the least of my concerns, all I wanted to do was party my life (& youth) away. Sex came into the picture, inevitably. I started to become the female version of a "womanizer". & why not? After all I had all the freedom in the world.

[Dansan]

Hi , to my thinking is. Do you think he really hate you? Don't know how long you both been together. Is fate that bring both together. Why not try any way to settle it. Everything open talk and find a way to settle rather then drinking . High might cost a price . When thing happen then is it good for you? Think teice! In mo position to say anything . Just my Own point of view. If worth to treasure then hold on to it . If not may had chance of regret!

[flowbow]

Camping

[kristin18]

The guys I slept with were mostly decent looking at least, but my interest in them didn't last. I would meet a guy whom I found attractive & flirt with him for a bit, exchange numbers & get to know him a little better, & by the second or third meet up I would end up in bed with him.

The sex wasn't great all the time. Most of the time, I would be too drunk to enjoy, in spite of the physical attraction. Perhaps I was lonely & needed the company of a man, which was why I craved the attention from them so much. Perhaps it was lust on my part as well, because they were all either good looking or charismatic in their own ways. In any case, I saw nothing wrong in what I was doing since it seemed like mutual gratification to me -- while they provided me with the company I needed to fill the emotional void in me (albeit only temporarily), I fulfilled them physically. They were like fuck buddies to me, except that each one only lasted for a month or two before I would "change target".

[Iloveschgirls]

Reminded me of someone.. Support!

[smoothfreeze]

interesting. keep on writing..

[kristin18]

Most of the time, there was no protection used. I now understand the stupidity in that (& thankfully, it's not too late) but back then the thought of having to go through the trouble of buying condoms in our drunken state before checking in to the hotels put us off greatly. Don't ask me why the men didn't seem to mind not using protection though, because I have no idea either.

Because protection was hardly used, getting pregnant was my number one fear, apart from catching any sex disease (& like I previously mentioned, thankfully I am still clear of all diseases up till today). So I misused the emergency contraception pill, otherwise known as the morning after pill. I took it once every two months which definitely wasn't healthy for my hormone levels. But I didn't care. I just couldn't get myself pregnant. The consequences would have been dire.

The Men I Slept With
None of them are particularly worth mentioning, except for one, whom I shall call A.

[highlysex]

thank you for for story pls keep cumming

[kristin18]

A was sexy. He didn't have a hot body -- in fact he was a bit too skinny for my liking -- but he had really nice features. I loved his eyes most. Everytime we made eye contact, my heart skipped a beat. Most of all, he was 35 but he surely didn't look his age. His mannerisms, behaviour, the way he spoke..... He was mature yet playful at the same time. Needless to say, I was very attracted to him.

A was different from the rest. I wasn't too sexually attracted to him initially. I just liked being around him. I never thought of sleeping with him & I was positive he didn't feel that way about me too. He was always around hot girls, & I definitely wasn't as hot & sexy as the girls around him. We just enjoyed partying together.

But as time passed & as we spent more time together, I realized that I was starting to develop feelings on a deeper level for him. Both emotionally & physically. I started to want him. & it felt like a dangerous feeling. I didn't feel comfortable about it at all.

[kristin18]

At that point when I knew that the feelings were growing exponentially, I tried to distract myself by getting involved with another guy, a married man. I liked this married man, but not enough to distance myself from A. & before I knew it, I'd fallen too deep.

We met almost everyday, but most of the time we met at the club. Gradually our relationship progressed & we started going for regular suppers after clubbing. It took awhile for him to open up to me but he finally did. He revealed to me that he had a girlfriend but he didn't tell me much about her, except that their relationship was not a stable one. To say I was disappointed would be a lie, but I knew I'd fallen too deep by then. We started to grow much closer over the next one month, & after awhile I stopped resisting & caved in to my feelings.

Over the next one month, we were exactly like a couple. We were like new lovebirds, except without the status. I knew I was in love, & I knew I was in trouble. Big, big trouble. But things weren't that bad yet, because we weren't physically involved with each other yet.

But finally...... The unavoidable day came.

The day where we had sex together, for the first time.

[4am'rs]

Another true story, thank you for sharing your love, lust and life stories to us. Subscribing to your thread.