Married with kids but no sex life

[LovePotion]

HAIZ... understand how u feel. Usually when we are married, we would tend to envy ppl that are still singles... and when we r single, we hope that we could get married soon... i think it is difficult to balance well...

[martins10]

Was just talking to my OC about this in the car just now. So now we are getting a domestic helper and hope can improve the situation after no. 2 is due. I think communication is very impt here.

Thanks Bro Hardaway for writing the stories to keep the lonely birds here occupied.

[benjerry13]

Originally Posted by Hardaway1818

haha i am so amazed of the number of bros here who are 天涯同命鸟. Somehow it just made me feel better as i am not alone (Ah Q mentality).

I never regretted getting married and love my wife and kids. Would never bear to do anything to hurt the family.

Just lamenting a bit here haha. Life still goes on and I guess i can live out my sexual fantasies by writing more stories hahaha

I agree... wife will sian one day, commercial sex is too money orientated. despite all the GFE, i still feel lousy sometimes after many a session. FB is ideal but you really must manage it well.

Unless the girl same par, otherwise it cannot last and keep finding damn sian

[viewsonic]

There is always a way out......It's all really depend on yourself, how much risk u're willing to take...

[ls460]

My experience is to go holiday with wife alone without the kids, let pil or parent take care and go for regular short trips. For us, we travel to neighbouring countries at least 6 times a year to enjoy the time together and also always remember to give her small surprises gifts during and before the get away..

[KobeBeef]

The wife must do her duty to love her man in sexual needs. If cannot, then it is better for the man to find it elsewhere.

[CPVictim]

Bro Hardaway,
I feel you're in a tough situation. Like you I have no family sex life. I have high libido and I give vent to it outside. As I age I noticed just straight commercial sex was not working for me. Hence my trips to Massage Parlours and Geylang Cat40, Cat80 and Cat150 gradually stopped. I started to realize that I need some little feelings, companionship before a bonk.

Changed style by going to KTV and Pubs. It has worked so far for me at these places where you hug, talk, a little french kiss sometimes a little groping. Just when you want more the session ends etc. take the girl's number and use a spare phone kept in the office in silent mode to sms or WhatsApp her. Meet up for dinner and proceed for bonk. You'll actually enjoy the feeling although it's commercial when the girl calls you "laogong" etc.

Love and Sex are Nature's creation and God created you to do it and have it. And you should not stop it. Imagine one day someone decides I will not go to toilet any more. Just hold my bladder. That's not how God designed you to be and function.Sex is not just good for keeping your mind clean and active and de-stressed, it's also good for long life. Kings who had many wives lived long. People who are single all life with hardly any sex are prone to death earlier. Sex and orgasm i.e. ejaculation releases certain hormones flowing in your blood stream to keep you healthy. So sex is good.

Now how do you have sex? Since you find commercial sex too mechanical, you have to find out what your hobby is and mix it with sex e.g.
Drinking + Sex
Clubbing + Sex
Travel Overseas + Sex
Golfing + Sex
Gaming + Sex
Surfing + Sex
Movie + Sex
Diving + Sex etc.

Now depending on what turns you on, you have to find that avenue to end up in sex. It can be under your control and not get addictive. E.g. Some men like to go to Manado, Indonesia for diving. After diving whole day, they plus their friends will go relax at a beer bar, flirt with a chick and take her to the room for a wild time. Indo girls are real good bed partners and fuck like long time girlfriends with the same feel, passion etc.

If you like alcohol, don't sip alcohol in places like Harry's bar. Go to a place with girls e.g. Clarke Quay, Thai disco, Zouk, Lush, Avatar, Double O, Duxton, Geylang, Joo Chiat etc. give the girls an opportunity to seduce you into bedding them. Who knows although commercial you may actually enjoy the session ?

If you are computer addict, you go to websites like Thai Love Links, Date In Asia , Asia Friend Finder , Match.com , Love.com etc. you e-Flirt with pretty girls who are crazily pretty especially from China syt's and you think you can never get such a gf and just try. Who knows they may respond and you might actually end up one day going to China to visit her, bonk her and she can become your 2nd wife :-)

If you like clubbing Jakarta has a really crazy party scene where beautiful dancers dance and go topless and bottomless on the dance floor & they are really gorgeous girls , normal students not ugly hookers. Attempt having fun there and try for ECA.

Similarly for golfing etc. etc. mix your hobby and passion with some opportunity for sex and don't be too inhibitive. Just go for it. Just convince yourself that even after this wild session you're still going to love your wife and care for your children the same way. Just relax and enjoy yourself.

With this change in mindset, you'll start having a good sex life outside home and it will be the new man in you. God gave us this really enjoyable thing called "dick". Just like you eat the best food you always get opportunity to satisfy the pleasure of your tongue.Make full use of it till it can stand. Never ever stop having sex, it's an incomplete life.

Cheers

[lotsfits80]

For me I'll just ask her how you should fulfill your sexual needs. Sexual needs is just like any other social needs. Without it you won't die but will be very unhealthy. Humans are social animals, can't deny that. Sexual frustration leads to stress, stress leads to many diseases and tragedies. You can either sit down and have a proper conversation with her or eat out and not let her know.

[muscleboi]

even i bonked my ex for 2 years plus i also sian. for bros with wife, definitely will be more sian. life's only constant is change. we men are not meant to be in monogamy relationships. its human society unnaturally shaped us to be that way..now even go out bonk also considered cheating. sad.

[Nick201269]

Bro totally empathise with your situation as i am in same boat.

Eat out is one option, and commercial fuck is costly. According to bros here it can also addictive. However i think this is the most fuss free. Fuck and go.

Talking to wife sometimes also quite sian when u get rejected a few times.

Bottomline - like what SAF always taught u, do anything but dun get caught.

[PassingbyJ]

Can't help but link this thread to Germany Drops reignite marriage

Guess its need effort on both side to keep the sex life going.
It goes beyond just having sex with the wife but like the flirting and teasing, without any worries?

Can try to get the wife to dress up and go to a bar, pretend you two don't know each other and try to pick your wife up?

[RamboCat]

Bro Hardaway, Care to share what medical problem makes her cannot have sex? Just curious. Want to check it up on Google thats all. Thanks.

[chnhubby71]

delete post

[Hardaway1818]

Originally Posted by RamboCat

Bro Hardaway, Care to share what medical problem makes her cannot have sex? Just curious. Want to check it up on Google thats all. Thanks.

It's a condition diagnosed as "dyspareunia". She got it after the birth of our second child, and contracting some urinary tract and pelvic infection.

[Hotspotxxxxx]

Originally Posted by Hardaway1818

haha i am so amazed of the number of bros here who are 天涯同命鸟. Somehow it just made me feel better as i am not alone (Ah Q mentality).

I never regretted getting married and love my wife and kids. Would never bear to do anything to hurt the family.

Just lamenting a bit here haha. Life still goes on and I guess i can live out my sexual fantasies by writing more stories hahaha

Bro I like your suggestion of writing more stories for us!