Should I let her continue to work in a bar

[kenneth38]

Originally Posted by sta1100

She already mention. Work for extra $$$, unless you have more then extra $$$ to give her sure she will stop working Part time.

Mate, I'm considering whether to steer the conversation later towards $$. I believe the cash is for her own marriage back home, but I will ask.

Perhaps I will top up the premium and call it a day.

However, when cash exchanges hands between 2 parties, the relationship becomes transactional, but our relationship is not like this as this point.

Should I downgrade this whole thing to a transactional affair ?

Perhaps it's the right thing to do, as then I won't be so caught up with her.

How much does a bar girl make per month anyway in tips and what the bar pays her per hour ? I think her day job nets her roughly 2k+ per month, but I'm not sure what the bar job pays.... and hence what's my premium...

[Ken79]

Hi TS bro, i think before u start looking for a gf/new wife, it is a responsibility to try all means and methods to salvage the current r/s, although i do agree infertility is a big frustration but after all u went thru marriage and vows with her.
Finding FLs (no strings attached) is one thing but a serious gf while u havent divorce is another.

My advice is if things with your current wife cant be salvaged anymore then u should settle the divorce in a good manner and seek a good resolution with her.
Exit strategy is very important, its like handing a job or project over to another person without any shit for them to clear so ppl got no lanjiao words to say behind your back.

As for how much she earns from part time job in pub/disco im not so sure, but my fren who is a thai coyote agent says that the comm from the ladies' drinks and flowers are split between the establishment, agent and lady, however i didnt ask about their repective proportions.

[kenneth38]

I want to give my thanks to everyone whom has commented, and also respect all Sammies who actually gave a thought about this and care enough to comment.

To close off this topic, until the next crisis that hits this relationship (hopefully none), she decided to stop for me. The bar pay works up to around $900/mth for working thrice a week.

On my end, I would top up the premium, but I have not told her that. On the principle that the relationship is not transactional. Today was a difficult conversation, but it completed, I do not want to sabotage it with this topic ,and I would broach the additional premium, with the reason that I want to be able to contribute to her future life back home, be it a house, car, or wedding and also as a token of gratitude / appreciation for her commitment.

She did caution that if she has more time for me, she may be crankier with her moods and I need to be careful. She's a really proud individual and its just not the right timing for us. Right person, wrong time. I do treasure her, and our time together whilst she is in SG.

I admit i'm a selfish individual and i do need to feel someone needs me more than I need them. I just have to make it up to her in other ways, and have to be prepared to.

Closing the chapter for now, and much thanks to all.

[sammyboyfor]

Originally Posted by kenneth38

Closing the chapter for now, and much thanks to all.

The thread may be closed but all you're doing is messing up your life all because of some pussy and your low self esteem. You'll live to regret it.

[Intltuk]

Originally Posted by sammyboyfor

The thread may be closed but all you're doing is messing up your life all because of some pussy and your low self esteem. You'll live to regret it.

Nicely said.....time will tell...for better or worse.....

[fishing around]

Bro, imho it is a bad move. Never make those flings at bars/pubs perm. What happens at bar/pub/ktv stays in bar/pub/ktv.

Especially when you are already married. Whether is it rocky or not never let those flings come out with you.

[skarlett]

If you cant commit, dont expect anything out of it. Besides you are married. Don be a victim and make ur wife a victim too. And if the third party becomes emotionally involved with u and wans more than jus a bf/gf rship, you are so dead. Its nt fun to be involved in an extramarital affair. Its like playing with fire.

My two cents..

[SiameseTiger]

Generally women who worked at bars before then to be temperamental and irrational. Thread with caution. Not worth your mental agony

[HeLL]

Originally Posted by sammyboyfor

The thread may be closed but all you're doing is messing up your life all because of some pussy and your low self esteem. You'll live to regret it.

agree with what big boss said , good luck TS.

[crood]

Originally Posted by kenneth38

I want to give my thanks to everyone whom has commented, and also respect all Sammies who actually gave a thought about this and care enough to comment.

To close off this topic, until the next crisis that hits this relationship (hopefully none), she decided to stop for me. The bar pay works up to around $900/mth for working thrice a week.

On my end, I would top up the premium, but I have not told her that. On the principle that the relationship is not transactional. Today was a difficult conversation, but it completed, I do not want to sabotage it with this topic ,and I would broach the additional premium, with the reason that I want to be able to contribute to her future life back home, be it a house, car, or wedding and also as a token of gratitude / appreciation for her commitment.

She did caution that if she has more time for me, she may be crankier with her moods and I need to be careful. She's a really proud individual and its just not the right timing for us. Right person, wrong time. I do treasure her, and our time together whilst she is in SG.

I admit i'm a selfish individual and i do need to feel someone needs me more than I need them. I just have to make it up to her in other ways, and have to be prepared to.

Closing the chapter for now, and much thanks to all.

How long have u know her? That woman if she know u r married and still want to be with you are not sort of any good woman too.

If she really has high moral, will she sleep with a married man? probably chase after your $$.

Barely a year and u want to get her a property, car and a wedding, sounds like u r really deep in her poison!

Have you seen her family, her friends? She could be already married at home with plenty of kids.

Please go and think about what you want.

If u really want to be with her, please do a good deed and divorce your wife first. It's a good thing that there's no kids yet.

U are definitely not a good husband and father.

She deserve a better man rather than to be treated like a stupid fool, waiting for u at home yet you are having sex with another woman outside.

But once u step out of the house, don't ever regret if your $$ is swindled and u realise that u r just another foolish man out there.

[MassageExpert]

Originally Posted by kenneth38

Hi,

I got to know this lady sometime last year and in April this year, we got hooked up.

She has a day job, but moonlights in a bar getting tips for drinks.

She will most likely be out of the country by end of next year or even earlier before that.

We r pretty close, and have gone very much attached to each other, although we only meet twice a week, as she has some off days per week.

My problem now is I want to ask her to stop working in the bar, as I really don't feel comfortable that my chick is hanging around other guys. The pub is fairly decent with not much touchy feely, if at all, but I'm still uncomfortable.

I know that she feels happy working there, as you get to make some extra cash, chat and drink.

Should I suck it up, seeing that she's leaving in a year's time or less ?

Should I ask her to stop completely ?

Should I ask her to reduce her frequency ?

Deeply troubled.

It really depends on how cashy you are. If you can afford her not to work there, why not.

[fictionman]

Originally Posted by kenneth38

Dear boss, I think this is the golden principle to follow when fucking around.

Seriously.

If there's any emotional attachment, it becomes very dangerous. Day-to-day life is impacted, including work, home etc etc.

I truly believed I dropped the ball here. She's not an FL, and have a full-time day job, and the bar is a part time thing. I'm just her second guy in her life, her ex-bf is 2-3 years back, I don't figure her as a loose woman, and because of that, my interests in her peaked, and she has got her good hold of my heart and mind.

Dont believe everything she says bro...2nd guy in her life??!!...Tts wat foreign girls tell sinkie guys...Sure bo

[jameschong1]

Originally Posted by fictionman

Dont believe everything she says bro...2nd guy in her life??!!...Tts wat foreign girls tell sinkie guys...Sure bo

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kenneth is a moron

[Mephistophilus]

If you really want to take her in, change her first.

Get her a decent job, pay doesn't matter.
Change her life style and see how she cope with it.
Review her social circle, introduce more positive vibes into her life.

If she is not willing to change for the better, then you decide.

[EtherC]

If you wanna buy a car, just go to a normal dealership and get one. Don't go and get a jalopy that needs an engine overhaul. An engine is what makes a car tick , character is what makes a person tick.

A lot of chaitaos like to think they are some kick ass romeo who can fix/change "their" FL with character defects. Unfortunate reality bites, two words: Fat Hope