Ask Notary - Pour Your Life Problems Here and Let's Work It Out

[Edyta]

Originally Posted by Ngengheng

Is better dont try buy one get one free scheme. Try not to get commit into such relationships as it will bring more headache . The woman will focus her attention to her kids . Just becareful some woman might wants to make use of a man for financial support for her kids.......There will be lots of jealously . Perhaps I am selfish and this is my opinion. To my observation ang mos loves such scheme. Many marries single mother.

focus attention on her kids - most likely yes unless she is a neglectful mother

use a man for financial support - more likely if she struggles financially. if she is financially comfortable she might not want that union with a man so as to protect her own finances for her kids n herself.

jealousy within a blended family - possible as the kids compete with new daddy for mummy's attention

angmo likes single mum - in some western societies women can have kids outside marriage n not be looked down upon n there is no taboo in marrying a single mum. its not that angmo likes single mum but more like there is no taboo

as for original poster, i would say woo her only if u imagine yourself being step daddy n feel happy about it. also your family can accept her n her kid.as fot whether she would be receptive to u depends on her views n life goal. n if she rejects u the reason is often little to do with age. not all single mums are finding new partners n some prefer to protect their kids against revolving door of men coming in n.outa their lives.

[Grounded Eagle]

Bump....



More?

[MoJoe313]

Good luck to you TS. I find one of the hardest things to do in life is to change a person's mind, especially the male species.

He may agree with you to be cordial but deep down inside him, he has already made up his mind on certain matters.

[Notary]

Originally Posted by MoJoe313

Good luck to you TS. I find one of the hardest things to do in life is to change a person's mind, especially the male species.

He may agree with you to be cordial but deep down inside him, he has already made up his mind on certain matters.

Dear Bro MoJoe313,



I don't think I have stated anywhere in this thread that my aim is to change someone's mind. My goal is to be someone's listening ear, help people shed some light unto their paths and hopefully they can make better informed decisions.

[Notary]

Poster: sicknasty
Title: She's gone



Problem:

My girlfriend left me , we've been together for really long .
She left suddenly few day after celebrating my birthday in m hotel for three days . We've great plans , I love her .
People asked , are you gonna marry her .
I'd say yes of course !

That day she texted me , she wanna break up.
I couldn't accept it , I went bonker .
I went bonker for a week , she just couldn't bothered to even see my message

She told me she moved on and I should too .

I did everything I can to chase her back , but she wouldn't give me a chance .

We've provlem in our relationship , I'm still serving army .
Gonna ord soon , she's been through with me for so long .
So much stuff we've been thru but she doesn't seems to give no fuck about me anymore .

I asked her you were fine on my birthday , but what happen? She said she wasn't fine for a very long time .

We usually fight quarrel and we didn't solve it and just swept it under the rug .

What I really wish to say is ,
Guys , whether girlfriend or wife .
Please treat them better, cause If they left you.
They ain't coming back , onces a lady moved on . There's nothing much you can do . It hurts , so bad .

Her stuff and everything is in my place but will be slowly taken back to her plce , I haven't had the chance to see her or talk to her properly yet.

She's tired of me , sick I would say.
The window of chance she's giving me right now is zero.
She's a tough lady. Very got character type ..
But when we were together , she's very loving and soft .. Cute .

Now that she's gone , I realise my mistake too late .
I'm 23 this year , we've come such a long way only to be swept awy . Breaking up is not easy, I've been thru a lot .
But this time , it's didferent .

I'd be different if I have another try , i really will.
But I guess she had moved on. There's nothing I can do , I probably screwed up even more . Spamming her message everyday , she didn't read . Just open my whatsapp chat to clear off notification . I wish she'd have just block me .
But I know she know I might go crazy and spam her text message . So either way blocking wouldn't solve it .

This would be my greatest regret to ever have her leaving me , I wish I could make it up to her but I just couldn't anymore . My friend all told me , just move on. Buts it's hard , it's never easy. We had so much stuff together , I've been in lots of relationship. But I guess reaching such a age , breaking up is really hard . It hurts , it hurts to know that there's so much we could have archive together but because of my neglection she's gone .

I can't help but to blame NS , I took her for granted ...

Guys please cherish your gf, Chiong is Chiong but don't forget to Hong your girlfriend occasionally ..

It hurt so much ..

We've quarrel time n again , it's always trust issue .
It's my fault I over think everytime , yet everytime she'd give me the chance to make it up. We make up together yet we didn't talk or try to solve it , we knew this provlem exist .

I was so blinded that I didn't care .
Now that I realise , I lost her , and I'm too late ..

We plan to marry in future but not so soon, but then again it doesn't matter anymore .

It hurt so bad ..

There's so many thing we say we would do after I ord , I feel that it's such a waste . We were a perfect couple , but I screw it up.

I waited for her , but she will never let me see her . Sigh it hurts , I know she had moved on. I guess I'll need time . It hurt so bad , I wet my pillow ..

Now we are yet, stranger again..



Notary's Reply:



Hello Bro sicknasty,



I feel tremendously for you - I can imagine the pain you are experiencing. At this point you might be encountering sleepless nights, you could be having problems concentrating in camp and you cannot stop thinking of the good times the both of you had. Before I write further, I want you to know that this thing has happened for a good cause in your life - it's like reformatting a computer - now, you can start afresh and make things right for yourself with someone else. Not many people get a second chance and today, life has granted you this chance.



One of the few things I need you to understand is that sometimes we confuse ourselves with reality. You think that the both of you are utterly in love but the fact is that the both of you are not. I used to be someone who puts an over emphasis on my relationship with friends, I ended up being in the 自作多情 department. Having to find out at the end of the day that the other party actually does not call you "best friend", it wrenches my heart. You could take this time to be alone and reflect dearly on your life - find new directions. You are about to ORD soon, don't start your life on a decayed piece of meat with maggots feasting on it.



Many say that drug abuse, irresponsible gambling, alcoholism and excessive womanising can ruin one's life - I would like to say what you are going through right now could jolly well fuck your life up 100% if you allow it to - therefore, please handle your emotions and health with great care.



There are many reasons to which why a girl would / could break up with a guy and move on so strongly. I do not know you or the relationship that you had, therefore it is unfair for me to make direct comments pertaining to your problem. However, I can speak generally , 70% of relationships in America has got the element of cheating in it - either the guy or the girl or both the guy and the girl have committed infidelity and stained their 'perfect' union. In your case, there could be someone else she had found.



Hold on a minute, but does it matter? What are you doing to do? Bash up that third party? Are you going to find closure now and ease your heart? Most of the time, when a person breaks up with the other in the relationship, their reason for break up is usually a lie and for some people they do not even know how to express the real reason. Finding closure from her might not exactly be the best move - you might want to find a personal closure and then walk towards a brighter future.



Personally, I am not a fan of National Service (NS), I think it is a violation of human rights - we all have a freedom of choice to what we want to do in life and many do not want to be a part of the military, no one should be forced to do what they do not want to do. Having to say that, I do not think that NS was the cause of your loss - in fact, you should be thanking NS for helping you filter out this infection that could explode into cancer after a number of years. If your relationship was so strong, NS wouldn't have that power to kill it. Therefore, what happened was, two hands clapped and two persons kissed goodbye.



This break up materialised not because you did not treat your girl 'better', it materialised because there were mismatches of expectations. Who could you blame? You have yet to garner enough experience in life to know how to handle things better, this was an inevitable lesson - every ice skating professional, sprinter, dancer, football star, rugby player and etc. have to fall down occasionally before becoming a champion.



“I will not try to convince you to love me, to respect me, to commit to me. I deserve better than that; I AM BETTER THAN THAT...Goodbye.”
― Steve Maraboli (Empowerment, Self Help Coach)



I tell people all the time, if you need to resort to begging and trying so hard to get that person, maybe, that person just do not love you at all. Getting her in the end could still mean a break up some time down the road. You said that this is your biggest regret in life - I would like to strongly disagree with you - your biggest regret in life is to allow this break up consume you in totality. Pick yourself up and make sure that you become better at what you do.



Good luck bro.

[Notary]

Originally Posted by Grounded Eagle

Bump....
More?

Thanks for the support Bro Grounded Eagle (:

[Notary]

Poster: Aleoras
Title: Emotional abuse?



Problem:

Got to know a cute lady who I got along quite well with as a friend, where I only saw her as something like a little sister younger than me by half a decade. One day she suddenly started getting naughty with her texts, so I just played along and reciprocated in kind. It didn't take long afterwards for her to keep dropping obvious hints that she likes me, thus I took the leap of faith and asked her to be my girl, which she accepted.

Things were okay for merely the first day, with the lady being sweet and caring, sending messages to show her concern and becoming more explicit with the naughty texts. Then it started to get quite ugly on the second day. When she missed my reply to her text, she start accusing me of not seeing her as important and having my attention on other ladies. While I was explaining things, she went on to say things such as I can just do whatever I like, and she would do likewise. Wouldn't be so frustrated if I was out having fun or something, but I'm innocent and it's exasperating. Was irritated for a while, till the point when she came back saying she missed me and thought I didn't want to speak with her. It took quite some time that night to coax her through text and through phone conversations, until she dozed off on me during the wee hours of the morning.

Come morning the third day, it seemed like we were back to normal again. She was sweet and quite sincere in apologising for sleeping midway through the conversation, asking for forgiveness to which I assured her that no offence was taken. We met up with other friends later that day, and I paused a little while when she was chatting with the others to look at messages on my phone. A buddy contacted me to arrange for dinner the next day. It was a while since we met, so I also took a while to just check with him how's everything. She was concerned that I took some time sending messages on my phone, so I got candid with her and asked her not to worry since I was only arranging for dinner with another friend.

She got pissed immediately, just answered 'Kay' then left, leaving the rest of us baffled. A little while later, she just sent me a text saying 'Have fun at the dinner'. I got the underlying meaning, and confronted her that she was being jealous unnecessarily, that as long as she wants to keep the relationship going I will be devoted. She got started again that I can do whatever I want, and added that she can't help being jealous as she is only human and very sincere about our relationship. Skeptical on that by now but decided to give the benefit of doubt, asking her to calm down and tried to convince her that both of us need to put in effort to make the relationship work out.

Contact between us went silent for a good while after that. When she finally initiated contact again, she was saying that she missed me, she was sorry that maybe she wasn't good enough for me. Naturally, I pressed her for an answer on whether she was willing to make the relationship work. She dodged the question, and instead went on to ask that I not let her wait too long as she may have given up when I want her, and saying (in my opinion) nonsense about treating others with dignity and care in every situation while in a relationship.

The more I think about it the more the blood within my veins run cold as the conclusion derived was that she is playing with my feelings, though it makes me feel much better about the relationship. Playing hot and cold, making it seem as though I'm the one at fault, and going hysterical at every little thing. She didn't even bother asking whether I was meeting a guy or lady for dinner before flipping out. The absurdity started way too fast before any physical intimacy commenced. Logic tells me it's emotional abuse. However, it's bugging me as mutual friends were asking whether I knew what was going on since the lady seemed to be very down lately and she hasn't shared with anyone what was troubling her.

Anyone with experience in managing such freakish situations able to advise?



Notary's Reply:



Disclaimer: I'm going to write something very straightforwardly pertaining to the female creatures of this Earth. Sisters of SBF, please know that whatever I am about to say is from a tender heart. Don't hate me but instead, try to see from my lenses and make whatever change needed that could improve your standard of living as a person with your boyfriend, husband and family.



Dear Bro Aleoras,



You sound like a nice guy, someone who is sincere and down to Earth. I'm sure that your intentions are good with that nutty-as-fruitcake girlfriend of yours but unfortunately you are being emotionally abused and usually this does not end well for you and her. No one deserves to be abused emotionally. This is not about anyone being too young - it is about maturity, and maturity is never measured by age but by the way a person handles life.



You should also see that you got into this relationship out of convenience - like going to 7 Eleven, or a nearby provision shop to get your condoms when you need them in a jiffy - "convenience" is the key word. You were not courting her to begin with, you took that leap of faith because she gave you the green light and apparently you leaped into hell.



Let's take a good look at that girl's character. She started getting naughty with you during your textual conversations, I do not know exactly what this naughty means but I would like to assume that it is not her telling you things like "hey handsome, I'm spreading my pussy lips now and I am getting wet while texting you." I suppose it was more subtle and non-sexual. But if a girl could take that step to first tempt the guy, it tells a lot about that girl's innocence and character - you do the math. She has presented a lot of insecurities, this could emerge due to a bad family background (for example, the lack of parental love due to divorce or physical abuse). Remember this, you are out there to search for a nice girl, be with her and start a good family (assuming that this is what you're after), you're not someone's counsellor or sanitary pad - you're not there to absorb all the crap when she's releasing them uncontrollably.



For me, I am not the best at throwing away friends even though they might be bad apples. I treasure every relationship I have and maybe this could be a huge flaw of mine. But in your case, you have 2 routes to take (1) break friendship with her totally. This move is kind of impossible because it would create a bad working aura between you, her and your work environment. (2) tell her that you want to be friends only because you are not ready to be in a relationship. This would hurt her ego real bad and she would do all she can to grab hold of you and probably even have sex with you to keep you. Both ways, it ain't a box of chocolates for you bro.

The female race is a strange creature,
much problems were caused because of them (sometimes by them)
but still we cannot live without them.

To be continued on the next post...

[Notary]

I would like to start by talking about the legendary Premenstrual Syndrome otherwise more commonly known as PMS. According to a news article "Men were right all along. Our hormones DO make us women irrational" written by Ms. Rachel Ragg. It shared a number of real life stories regarding what some women did in the midst of their irrationality.



Example #1: "My mood swings were dreadful. After a row with my husband I drove my car into a wall"



Example #2: "‘When I have PMS, I become the opposite of my usual self,’ she says. ‘I usually see the best in everything and everyone — but for a week every month I become irrational and unpleasant."



Example #3: "In a fit of anger against the husband with whom she’d recently split, she had gathered up every reminder of her marriage, lit a match and set fire to the lot. It was only when it began to get out of control that Martina realised the severity of the situation.‘The flames started to melt the PVC window frames on the house and a section of guttering,’ she says. ‘Luckily, I was able to put it out with buckets of water but I could have burnt the house down."



Example #4: "Suzanne Gilchrist was jailed for more than four years for assault and other offences after claiming she had been suffering a ‘hormonal imbalance’ when she hit a pedestrian in her car and then tore through a town’s streets with him still clinging to her bonnet."

According to Dr Nick Panay, chairman of the National Association for Premenstrual Syndrone and the British Menopause Society, says that "PMS is a problem with a medical basis. The fluctuating levels of female hormones affect the central nervous transmitters including serotonin, dopamine and adrenaline, which influence everything from our mood to our concentration and sleep.



Therefore, Bro Aleoras, maybe the above could explain why your girl was acting crazy during that period (pun intended ) of time. Then you might say that the PMS was just a fragment of hellfire that the general population is experiencing, well, there are other factors too that we cannot ignore, such as their unreasonable expectations wired in their DNA:



1. Wanting him to pay for things, but still be a financial equal.

We live in a society where women are educated, they too have the power to garner wealth. However, it was naturally conceived in their minds that because of their gender, they need to be pampered. When having a meal with them, you're expected to foot the bills, drive to her location, pick her up, ferry her to the arranged destination and hell, why don't you clean her shoes too? And at the end of the day, you talk about women and men being equal? Check out the Singapore Women's Charter and then you can reevaluate gender equality in Singapore.



2. Wanting him to want to do things.

Do we ever insist our other half to sit beside us and wholeheartedly watch the EPL? Based on this question, look at what women expect us men to do.

"whether it was emptying the dishwasher, or going out with a group of my friends to an event I knew he wasn’t that interested in — it would drive me crazy to think that I dragged him through it. Even if he didn’t complain, and was perfectly reasonable, I needed to go the extra mile and make him pretend to have really wanted to do it. And I can’t really name a woman who doesn’t do this, about one issue or another."



3. Don’t look at other women.

Say what!? Know this girls, when guys look at another pretty babe, it is like you going to Zara staring at their latest range of handbags. It really does not mean that we are sexually stripping her clothing or fantasising on her sucking our dicks. Sometimes, we are just admiring the beautiful creations of God - i'm sorry that you don't look like her but it is not my fault, why get angry with me? The only way we men can stop looking at pretty girls is by going blind. Instead of getting worked up all the time why not try to accept this nature of life?



4. Wanting to build a financial future, but also have a pricey wedding.

"Dear... I want to go to Maldives and then to Europe for our honeymoon..."
"Dear... Let's hold our wedding at the Ritz Carlton Hotel.."
"Dear... Let's go take wedding pictures in the Amazon Rainforest..."
"Dear... I want to look very very pretty in my classy wedding dress, it's once in a lifetime for me you know..?" (not really, at this rate, you're heading for a second and third marriage sooner than you expect)

Enough said.



5. Basing relationship expectations off of people around you.

Hey lady, it does not matter if your colleague is getting married. It does not matter if their diamond ring is bigger than yours. It does not matter if your best friend husband's dick is long and thick. It does not matter if Jane was brought to a romantic date to Marina Bay Sands yesterday and you were brought to Food Republic to have one of the best Hokkien Noodles in town. It does not matter because it is none of your business. You should be contented with what you have and concentrating on building your lives together instead of putting unnecessary stress on your other half.



6. Thinks that their life is a romantic Korean comedy.

For a long time, students were taught on Sex Education that pornography is all an act. Do not expect that your wife to do the things that these women can do. We men know how to differentiate between fact and fiction; we ask of you to do the same. You will not marry a handsome young boy who out of nowhere catches you when you fall only to find out that he is a billionaire's son who is soon to take over his family's riches. He then magically falls in love with you, takes you everywhere in his limousine, flies you around in his private jet and has got a body nicer than Zac Efron's. *bbbrriiiinnggggggggggg....* That's your alarm clock waking you up from your dream.


7. Have sex with me even though I've become lazy, fat and smelly because we made a vow before during marriage that you'll love me unconditionally.

They say that a picture paints a thousand words...

8. Always choose me over your friends.

Women must understand that even though that the Earth revolves around the Sun, they are not the Sun. Our lives goes on even after getting attached, we still have friends. A guy cannot throw away all his drinking kakis and get home before 8:00 PM to watch Wheel of Fortune with you. Of course we cannot go overboard by hanging out with friends every day but taking it easy once in awhile gives you some personal time too.



There are even verses in the Holy Bible that talks about crazy wives, let's look at what God has to say:


Proverbs 21:19
It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman.

Proverbs 27:15
A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike

Proverbs 31:10
"An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels..."



Let us look at these quotes on women by some established people:



"Women have a wonderful instinct about things.
They can discover everything except the obvious."
- Oscar Wilde



Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
- Oscar Wilde



"Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed."
- Albert Einstein



"The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is."
- Helen Rowland



There are women who do not like to cause suffering to many men at a time, and who prefer to concentrate on one man: These are the faithful women.
- Alfred Capus



"Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then."
- Katherine Hepburn



I hope my insights have enlightened you on your situation. It is not about solving your problem with Ms. Fruitcake, it is an issue of choosing the right person. However, in my opinion, the options in Singapore are now very tight. It's like looking for water in a desert but most of the time you'll only see a mirage.



Totally discouraged by what I just said?
Well, at least I'm showing you the truth.
Good luck Bro.

[afk123]

I want to ask something. I don't know if it is the correct place to.

I recently met a girl and fell for her.

We have been chatting and talking and meeting up.

I know I like her or maybe even love her. I understand what she is doing and trying my best to accept it. (thai disco singer).

So basically. I have to accept guys sending her home. Bringing her out. Touching her.

She says she loves me but not as much. Only when she finish this job she can start spending more time with me and love me even more.

I didn't spend a single cent on her. I may be too clingly as my life and sleeping time has shifted to suit hers. So I will sleep early into the night and wake up at wee hours to see if she is home or not. So one night. She read my messages but did not reply after her work. But in the morning she msged and we talked. I ask her where did she go and she said she went and sleep with guy.

After that she said she was kidding. Do I have to understand this joke? I guess I have been understanding enough but was it necessary for her to make this joke? I am thinking of a suitable reply to ask her if that was funny. But I have no idea how to reply currently.

I don't think I can continue like this because I am tired and does not feel appreciated. Oh ya. I did everything with her already (going to bed and stuff).

So may I ask you, what is your take on this situation?

[Notary]

Originally Posted by afk123

I want to ask something. I don't know if it is the correct place to.

I recently met a girl and fell for her.

We have been chatting and talking and meeting up.

I know I like her or maybe even love her. I understand what she is doing and trying my best to accept it. (thai disco singer).

So basically. I have to accept guys sending her home. Bringing her out. Touching her.

She says she loves me but not as much. Only when she finish this job she can start spending more time with me and love me even more.

I didn't spend a single cent on her. I may be too clingly as my life and sleeping time has shifted to suit hers. So I will sleep early into the night and wake up at wee hours to see if she is home or not. So one night. She read my messages but did not reply after her work. But in the morning she msged and we talked. I ask her where did she go and she said she went and sleep with guy.

After that she said she was kidding. Do I have to understand this joke? I guess I have been understanding enough but was it necessary for her to make this joke? I am thinking of a suitable reply to ask her if that was funny. But I have no idea how to reply currently.

I don't think I can continue like this because I am tired and does not feel appreciated. Oh ya. I did everything with her already (going to bed and stuff).

So may I ask you, what is your take on this situation?

Hello Bro afk123,



Thank you for posting.
I don't know how old you are, what kind of profession you hold or what type of family background you have, therefore it is very difficult to pinpoint into the details. For example, if you are Peter Lim's son and he gives you a large amount of pocket money to spend, then sure, you may continue being with this working girl and not suffer much of a setback when things turn sour.



Being with a working girl is complicated. Their world is surrounded by lies and extreme practicality - they come from the school of thought where true love is a fairytale. I've personally fallen for 5 KTV hostesses before and these relationships ended up in the 18th depths of hell with tons of money spent unnecessarily - took me 7 years to realise my mistake.



Matters of the heart is a very intriguing thing, sometimes people know that they are heading towards a path of pain and a cruel ending but they still want to. Check this video out, who can explain why? This is just human nature. No pain no gain I suppose.

I usually tell my friends who are in a boiling pot of problems that there are a few doors you could knock on and different doors present different outcomes. Even if you would choose to knock on the door with the most obvious and stupid outcome, I would still be your friend and not mock at you at the end of the day - I will still lend you my shoulder to cry on and we will still go out to have fun and sing our hearts out.



But why purposely take that path of pain? I'm sure you know your options in this plight very well and I hope you'll have that friend to lend you his time and shoulder if the though gets going.



Good luck bro.

[snakehead]

Originally Posted by JRWB

Hi Notary Bro,

I want to ask you something. Hope that you can enlight me. Just to let you know some background about me. I am in my earlier twenties and studying part time as well as working right now. Ever since I am 15 year old, I had been cheonging here and there from Singapore to other countries. I started cheonging due to lost relationship and being lonely. I do not have really have many friends and I have only few friends which is close to me. However, as they have other commitment, we don't Meetup as often before. I falled in with a girl from my church when I was 15 while she is 16. At that time, she hinted to me that she fall in love with me too. However, I do not take a step to confess to her as I am very shy in nature. She had a male friend who is very close to her as they know each other and was best friend since primary school days. Afterwards, both of them were together. Initally, I was quite sad but I moved on and give both of them well Wishes. Both of them are together til now. Moving forward, I am very worried that I can't find any love and gf as I am quite in natural. I do not have many friends. All I feel in my heart was pay sex doesn't feels my heart and it involved in exchange of monetary.Yes its fun sometimes But I know myself that I wanted is love. Could you enlight me.

You are very fortunate and blessed. You are just starting on life's journey and may not realize there are many who would rather be in your shoes than their current situation especially those who are trapped by the WC. Cherish your freedom and perhaps one day when you have seen more of life you will come to realize that heaven has blessed you and saved you from a whole lot of pain and sorrows. Amen.

PS. I am not Notary.... but I could not resist replying to your post

[Notary]

Originally Posted by snakehead

PS. I am not Notary.... but I could not resist replying to your post

Hi Bro snakehead,



You are more than welcome to reply to any posts here

[Notary]

Originally Posted by JRWB

Hi Notary Bro,

I want to ask you something. Hope that you can enlight me. Just to let you know some background about me. I am in my earlier twenties and studying part time as well as working right now. Ever since I am 15 year old, I had been cheonging here and there from Singapore to other countries. I started cheonging due to lost relationship and being lonely. I do not have really have many friends and I have only few friends which is close to me. However, as they have other commitment, we don't Meetup as often before. I falled in with a girl from my church when I was 15 while she is 16. At that time, she hinted to me that she fall in love with me too. However, I do not take a step to confess to her as I am very shy in nature. She had a male friend who is very close to her as they know each other and was best friend since primary school days. Afterwards, both of them were together. Initally, I was quite sad but I moved on and give both of them well Wishes. Both of them are together til now. Moving forward, I am very worried that I can't find any love and gf as I am quite in natural. I do not have many friends. All I feel in my heart was pay sex doesn't feels my heart and it involved in exchange of monetary.Yes its fun sometimes But I know myself that I wanted is love. Could you enlight me.

Hi Bro JRWB,



Thanks for writing in, it is a pleasure to meet you.
Good to know that you've been chionging in different countries, rubbing shoulders with different cultures and of course tasting different cuisines (on the dining tables and in bed ) I'm sure there are a lot of advice we could receive from you pertaining to having fun overseas. But for now, let us look into your heartache.



I would like to help you set things straight here to begin with. You need to be very conscious towards what you are doing. Many people feel that paying for pleasure (P4P) is a very sinful thing to do and they feel extremely guilty with themselves for doing so and as a result they conjure excuses to P4P. Excuses such as, I was lonely and I had lost a true love relationship.



You need to be crystal clear that you're travelling to different parts of the world to taste different kinds of pussies because it is your form of enjoyment and nothing else. It is no different than a lover of red wine spending thousands of dollars on different bottles of wine or a cigar lover spending tens of thousands of dollars on different types of cigars. Mathematically, it looks like this:

YOU + PRODUCT = SATISFACTION

Due to your Church going background, I was afraid that you might be consumed by Guilt. Guilt is a very scary thing, it eats you up slowly piece by piece and eventually extirpates your entire being. You'll lose your self-confidence, rationality and sanity - this is how some people go mad. You need to find your own footing from today onwards and take life by the balls. You have to be the king of your own world and know that you're not bounded by any girl or past relationships.



You do not need to worry about whether you can find a real relationship in the near future or not, your real worry should be yourself - you need to obtain stability and ensure that your foundation in life is in fine feather - income, career, health, family, self-confidence, values and etc.



What you could not get when you were 15 years old is the past, don't walk into the future with this baggage, it is not worth it. Life is short, we want to make good use of every single minute, you don't want to spend it on things that are illusionary. For example, people get angry because of a traffic jam, but this is beyond your control, you cannot unjam the jam. People get angry because it is raining heavily but this too is beyond your control because you're not God, you cannot unrain the rain. A lot of energy and emotions wasted on things that you cannot change.



So what can be changed? Many...

A burglar stole valuables from your home -> fix up CCTV capabilities and change to better locks

A business partner fucks up your business -> make sure you are not legally affected, consult your lawyers and break up partnership

You are getting out of shape -> Go to the gym



There are many things we can do to strengthen and straighten your life. I hope from today onwards, you'll begin this journey towards your breakthrough.



Good luck bro

[SEAJ]

Hi Notary:

As you seem to know SBF well, I would like to direct your attention to the following thread:

What kind of SBF do you want?
http://sbf.directory/showthread.p...5#post13143065

I strongly believe that your participation and input would be very useful and meaningful.

Thanks beforehand
SEAJ