An affair with an ex-colleague (im married)

[bignehneh]

Men sometimes are selfish ppl. 1 wife and kid at home but then 1 FB or gf outside. Lol! Somemore expect gf/ FB to stay faithful. I don’t think possible.

[TequilaSunrise]

Originally Posted by bignehneh

Men sometimes are selfish ppl. 1 wife and kid at home but then 1 FB or gf outside. Lol! Somemore expect gf/ FB to stay faithful. I don’t think possible.

This is mostly their expectations

[coypredator]

Hi TS, what advice would you give yourself to avoid her giving you the cold shoulder due to the kid?

I predict I would soon be in a similar situation of having a kid but I dont want to lose the girl as well.

[lustandfast]

Originally Posted by coypredator

Hi TS, what advice would you give yourself to avoid her giving you the cold shoulder due to the kid?

I predict I would soon be in a similar situation of having a kid but I dont want to lose the girl as well.

You will find that u have lesser time with her. Then with ur new kid, u will
have more stress which u will find ur girl a nuisance. If she doesnt pester u, still ok. Mine kept pestering me until i very dulan. End up, now i regret. Im the one who pesters her now but i can see that she has gotten over me, which im trying to forget her. But one thing, i have alot of pic and vids of her which i keep telling myself i got nth to lose. But it is the wrong mindset.

Whether she has a bf now or not, i will never know unless i check with my ex colleagues. But if she hs a bf, i really do pity her bf.

[coypredator]

Originally Posted by lustandfast

You will find that u have lesser time with her. Then with ur new kid, u will
have more stress which u will find ur girl a nuisance. If she doesnt pester u, still ok. Mine kept pestering me until i very dulan. End up, now i regret. Im the one who pesters her now but i can see that she has gotten over me, which im trying to forget her. But one thing, i have alot of pic and vids of her which i keep telling myself i got nth to lose. But it is the wrong mindset.

Whether she has a bf now or not, i will never know unless i check with my ex colleagues. But if she hs a bf, i really do pity her bf.

I have one that kept pestering me. She would always want me to reply her instantly, go out with her, etc. Honestly, I cannot deal with that too.
But if you ignore her for pestering you and then when you need her then you go pester her back, then that's abit unfair to her.

And its definitely a toxic mindset to say you have nth to lose when you have pics and vids of her, feels like you want to throw her under the bus after things go sour... not that cool bro. And why pity her if she has a bf?

But what I'm curious about is.... do you think you could have spent more time with her when you had your kid?

[henry_ang10]

Originally Posted by lustandfast

Tks all. While i always believe it takes two hands to clap, im trying to get over this. Tho its hard to be friends again, it takes time to heal. It is not the right thing to do but it started off as feelings instead of lust. But now it is abit more of a habitual lust than strong feelings.

Shall stick to being a gentleman and not get sour over this.

bro, u shd resort to NO CONTACT. Absolutely no contact with her.. may take 1mth? 3 mths? even up to 1 year to totally get over it..

DO NOT contact her, it will break ur no contact and u are back to square 1 . Once u break no contact, u have to start from Day 1.

Dun worry, if u are determined to let go, time will heal. In the meantime go find some local FLs to fuck haha.. go for the more expensive ones .. cos once u start fucking FLs that are prettier than ur ex-colleague, u will start to let go

[henry_ang10]

Originally Posted by lustandfast

Its like i want to be friends, but its always me doing the texting. So what if she has a bf already? What would y’all do? Continue to text her?

cannot la.. dun be friend with her liao... let her go... i know u will suffer when u make the decision to let her go... Strictly No contact for a few mths until u recover and no more "urge" for her.. then if u want to be friend with her, then go ahead but by that time u would not bother anymore becos u will have no feeling left liao.

Is like cold turkey.. she is like a drug to u... u nid cold turkey to let her go..

It takes up to 4-6 mths of absolutely no contact before u start to get used to living ur lift without her and by then u will suddenly find urself loving ur wife and ur family more as u divert ur attention to them.

Go google "No contact rule"

In the meantime go make appointments with some of the local FLs here .. at least satisfy ur sexual needs. Every time u "cum", u wun think of ur ex-colleague liao
Usually what leads u to think of ur ex-colleague is the sex part ..without sex, i dun think u would want to be with her .. so satisfy that sexual part by engaging FLs to "numb" ur sexual desire.. After 6 mths of no contact + "numbing",.. u will be ok liao

All the best!

[lustandfast]

Originally Posted by coypredator

I have one that kept pestering me. She would always want me to reply her instantly, go out with her, etc. Honestly, I cannot deal with that too.
But if you ignore her for pestering you and then when you need her then you go pester her back, then that's abit unfair to her.

And its definitely a toxic mindset to say you have nth to lose when you have pics and vids of her, feels like you want to throw her under the bus after things go sour... not that cool bro. And why pity her if she has a bf?

But what I'm curious about is.... do you think you could have spent more time with her when you had your kid?

Once in awhile, i look back at the pics and miss her. Thats when i jack off. Pity her bf coz i did alot of funny stuffs with her which makes the guy look like an idiot. My affair has a full c to d cup. A little chubby (but nt fat just abit of stomach fats). Its like fucking a japanese porn star. She can get very wet easily. She moans like a pornstar too and thats y i miss it.

Im unable to spend more time as im also juggling with my studies, which i have completed.

Hope this explains.

[lustandfast]

Originally Posted by henry_ang10

bro, u shd resort to NO CONTACT. Absolutely no contact with her.. may take 1mth? 3 mths? even up to 1 year to totally get over it..

DO NOT contact her, it will break ur no contact and u are back to square 1 . Once u break no contact, u have to start from Day 1.

Dun worry, if u are determined to let go, time will heal. In the meantime go find some local FLs to fuck haha.. go for the more expensive ones .. cos once u start fucking FLs that are prettier than ur ex-colleague, u will start to let go

bro thanks but its hard to have no contact. Im still trying. And i have been fucking all sorts of girls frm prc to thai ladyboys. This is my no return adventure.

[lustandfast]

Originally Posted by henry_ang10

cannot la.. dun be friend with her liao... let her go... i know u will suffer when u make the decision to let her go... Strictly No contact for a few mths until u recover and no more "urge" for her.. then if u want to be friend with her, then go ahead but by that time u would not bother anymore becos u will have no feeling left liao.

Is like cold turkey.. she is like a drug to u... u nid cold turkey to let her go..

It takes up to 4-6 mths of absolutely no contact before u start to get used to living ur lift without her and by then u will suddenly find urself loving ur wife and ur family more as u divert ur attention to them.

Go google "No contact rule"

In the meantime go make appointments with some of the local FLs here .. at least satisfy ur sexual needs. Every time u "cum", u wun think of ur ex-colleague liao
Usually what leads u to think of ur ex-colleague is the sex part ..without sex, i dun think u would want to be with her .. so satisfy that sexual part by engaging FLs to "numb" ur sexual desire.. After 6 mths of no contact + "numbing",.. u will be ok liao

All the best!

Appreciate it man. Will try it

[coypredator]

Thanks for sharing bro.

It's a tough time which I can understand as well.
I say just do whatever you like - ,text her, pester her , tell her how much u miss her.

If there's response then good. If no response, I'm sure u will give up after a couple months.

[henry_ang10]

Originally Posted by coypredator

Thanks for sharing bro.

It's a tough time which I can understand as well.
I say just do whatever you like - ,text her, pester her , tell her how much u miss her.

If there's response then good. If no response, I'm sure u will give up after a couple months.

bro, no la... i think better for him to go NO CONTACT. Google NO CONTACT RULE...

If he keep pestering her is really very heartaching and the anger if she does not reply or she does not go his way may swell until he does something foolish like spreading the nudes etc online and then kana caught and ruin his whole life.

To TS, please continue ur NO CONTACT... just endure like having cold turkey when quitting drugs.. After 2-3 mths, u will feel better.. i can promise u that

In the meantime fuck ur way out of misery with commercial FLs.. but pls dun do raw hor... still must keep abit of sanity

[lustandfast]

I got ask her before if she still miss me but her reply: “Miss so what? You also cant be with me. Wait till you can be with me then talk.”

Its very ungentleman of me to make her feel worthless and i regret. Why should guys do this when the affair decides to call it quits? On the bright side, at least she nv come find me at my house and make a nuisance because shit will turn really bad and you will lose everyone.

I used to have another partner before marriage. Asked her to come my house and stayed over and we have sex once. This was during my poly time. After the fuck, i lost all feelings and gave her the cold shoulder.

Sometimes i wonder what girls see in me. Im nt handsome. Not very muscular. Just have a humorous tongue to make them laugh. Thats all. Why are they into me knowing that i already hve a partner?

[henry_ang10]

Originally Posted by lustandfast

I got ask her before if she still miss me but her reply: “Miss so what? You also cant be with me. Wait till you can be with me then talk.”

Its very ungentleman of me to make her feel worthless and i regret. Why should guys do this when the affair decides to call it quits? On the bright side, at least she nv come find me at my house and make a nuisance because shit will turn really bad and you will lose everyone.

I used to have another partner before marriage. Asked her to come my house and stayed over and we have sex once. This was during my poly time. After the fuck, i lost all feelings and gave her the cold shoulder.

Sometimes i wonder what girls see in me. Im nt handsome. Not very muscular. Just have a humorous tongue to make them laugh. Thats all. Why are they into me knowing that i already hve a partner?

bro, u very lucky liao.. some BBFA guys want also dun have... just be content , everything good must come to an end sooner or later...

UNLESS u divorce u wife or u wife touch wood no longer around.. if u still treasure ur family, i think best to let go...

As u said, what if she turns out at ur doorstep and create a scene, end up u will lose everything..

[IAMGOD]

we always do silly things when we are in love, i once called my gal when she was overseas with her husband. i wanted to just hear her voice without realising that she must have had a hard time explaining my phone call to her hubby. We end the affair not too long after that incident.. such foolishness on my side and i regret it till now.

Originally Posted by lustandfast

Hi all, just wanted to share my experience and get some advice from fellow bros/ sis who have been in my shoes before.

I’m married with a kid and my affair knew it. We lasted for 3 years before she decided to break up with me as she dont wanna destroy my family. Things started going bad when my kid was born last yr and i dont have time for her. Before my kid was born, we were still happy, going out during office hours and making out. The affair was the best sex ever. We took pics and vids of our fun times. When she gave me the cold shoulder last dec, i was abit devastated. I threatened her with alot of funny stuffs. I knew i was wrong coz i was lost.

We are still in contact on and off but we no longer follow each other on ig. As much as i dont want her to have a partner, i cant be with her and she needs love.

Have anyone encountered this before?