My Fillial Daughter

[TooFast]

1 success story from TV every 4 days.

Hope now ppl can see some light on TG.

[free]

Originally Posted by thaivisitor

Like Nok, Bee do send back money to her mom every month. No ridiculous amount just 5,000 baht which Bee's mum is more than satisfied and keep telling everyone in the neighbourhood that she has a filial daughter and son in law.

So who says there are no happy ending for Thai WLs.

thaivisitor

So it is possible. I had big problems believing my tirak when she said she is thinking about sending home only* 3-4k baht to her mum, as her mum knows we are not rich. Somemore, mum only hoping for 2.5k as she still got her fruit farm to depend on. The 2.5k more to help pay off the bike installment, for she had already paid for the downpayment of 10k herself, from the recent harvest. Life should get better for mum after many of the fruit trees (on that plot of land that is supposed to be my tirak's as dictated by her granny) will starting bearing fruits in slightly under 2 years.

* - I added the word only myself

[TooFast]

Originally Posted by thaivisitor

The problem is that many people think too highly of themselves and will think that the girls concerned are truely in love with them since they call each other tiraks and as such puts the blame on the family, etc.

Post 332 by Snuber.

If the girl works behind the guy, does that mean anything?
Provided, the guy every month sends back 20k bhat per month.

Also, from that case, it looks like this SG guy ain't accompanying her 24/7.

[Snuber]

Very good post here TV!

http://forum.sammyboy.com/showpost.p...&postcount=368

Referring to your above post, would a WL stop working while saving up when her true tirak asks her to? In short, to save up $$$ while working in a normal job which is a slow but happier way. Or would she give a specific timeframe which she would continue in her work, irregardless of whether she can save up to that amount?

Of cos, I would refer to no major problems at home. Else, she will have to keep working & the true tirak must understand. Or she would have to give him up. Or are there any exceptions where she will still stick with the true tirak's wishes inspite of what is happening at home?

[Snuber]

Originally Posted by TooFast

Also, from that case, it looks like this SG guy ain't accompanying her 24/7.

You won't be able to do so, unless you worked there & together with her. But then, it would seemed like imprisonment & it would be quite boring.

Even r/s with local girls, you won't be with them 24/7 rite?

Will leave the top part to TV to answer you.

[free]

Originally Posted by Snuber

Very good post here TV!

http://forum.sammyboy.com/showpost.p...&postcount=368

Referring to your above post, would a WL stop working while saving up when her true tirak asks her to? In short, to save up $$$ while working in a normal job which is a slow but happier way. Or would she give a specific timeframe which she would continue in her work, irregardless of whether she can save up to that amount?

Of cos, I would refer to no major problems at home. Else, she will have to keep working & the true tirak must understand. Or she would have to give him up. Or are there any exceptions where she will still stick with the true tirak's wishes inspite of what is happening at home?

Although I am thankful I dun face this situation myself, it is my believe that when the gal really loves the guy, she herself will begin to feel uncomfortable selling her body. Whether she can afford to do so is another issue altogether. If she can't afford to stop cos there are really pressing needs, and the one she loves cannot (or will not help) she will have no choice but to carry on, even if she has to give him up. After all they have already "accepted" their fate when they chose this line.

I have yet to come across case where a TG abandons her parents so she can stick to the guy. The worst case I have come across so far is the TG quarrels with her dad and rejects his choice of a husband, and choose the man of her choice. That in no way means she has abandon the dad - only disobey him cos she believes the dad will support her decision like her mum did, once he can see that her tirak is a good man. This case is true, cos I am that guy.

[free]

Originally Posted by TooFast

Post 332 by Snuber.

If the girl works behind the guy, does that mean anything?
Provided, the guy every month sends back 20k bhat per month.

Also, from that case, it looks like this SG guy ain't accompanying her 24/7.

I believe that ideally both should be living together - where doesn't matter. Else, if it is going to be 20k a month, I would want to see how she can justify the amount - is that going to feed needs or wants? If she expects a car as part of the deal for her family (or herself) to live in luxury (even as thousands of local thais take the bus or bike) while I toiled day and night to earn that money, forget the whole thing - it is not love. No point the lady telling the guy "Son San kun" if her actions says "Let me rip him off". If no bus/Mrt, motorbike can do liao. If it is in populated areas (even outside BKK), motorbike taxis are common to get to locations where one can take a bus/pickup-bus.

And much as I think of her consitstently, if not constantly and am dying to be by her side everyday, I dun think I want to be with her 24/7 - whatever for? There's got to be a minimum level of trust. By doing hat I am imprisoned as well - a lose-lose situation.

[TooFast]

Originally Posted by free

There's got to be a minimum level of trust. By doing hat I am imprisoned as well - a lose-lose situation.

Since Snuber says that this ger works behind the SG guy back, I supposed that he doesn't know and trust that she has quited the scene

Do you think that she has betrayed this trust?

[free]

Originally Posted by TooFast

Since Snuber says that this ger works behind the SG guy back, I supposed that he doesn't know and trust that she has quited the scene

Do you think that she has betrayed this trust?

In this case, I would say so. It is definitely a betrayal, as plain as can be, but only if she had led him to believe she had quitted.

I have an experience with a similar case - one of my Nong Sao's, though she did not go back to waork, which is worse in my opinion. She spends way too much and what her SG bf gave her is insufficient (which is ridiculous to me). So she keeps other guys who will supplement her.

I dun think she loves her SG "tirak" enough, probably have feelings for him, but not really deep and definitely not for him and him alone. Else she would accept a lower standard of living, if not even shift out of the expensive apartment. I no longer talk to her frequently and in a sense, dun see her as my Nong anymore, since she had come to me for advice and then chose to reject it by doing what she did.

Having recently gone thru a confusing period myself, I realise it is entirely possible to love more than 1 women at one time. It then becomes a matter of how one deals with it, whether one makes an attempt to chose one above all others and commit, or one wants to have his cake and eat it. In my case, I decide that it's time to choose, but in my Nong's case, she wants it all. Too bad, cos one day she may just lose all of them. One thing is clear, it is the Thai guy that can accept the idea of him being one of the few (and still gives her money too, but less since the SG bf came into the scene), while the SG guy could not.

[free]

Originally Posted by thaivisitor

It's difficult to really answer this question because I did not meet the girl to really understand her problems. We have to understand that no girl, whether thai or any country, will want to work in this line if she don't have to.

So if she's still working, the question to ask, does she really have an SG bf? Who is the SG bf? Is he married meaning to say that the girl knows the relationship may not last long, as such she has to "plan" for her future.

Is she telling the truth that the SG bf is giving her 20,000 baht per month?
I have known WLs who are still working even though they are "supported" by SG or taiwanese, etc. Why? Because these guys are not really committed to the girls, so at the back of the girl's mind is that these guys are actually just paying for their services so they continue to work as they feel and know that these guys will stop giving them money once they have new "targets".

Like I said, it's difficult to answer unless I'm aware of the particular situation.

Thaivisitor

Bro TV, you're spot on about the gal still working cos the guy is not really committed. There are too many variables and my answer was hasty, perhaps. However, I think it is fair to consider it a sort of betrayal if she has given him the impression that she has stopped, even if she really had no better choice. But in the cited case, 20k baht is more that what a Uni grad can make, even after working for a few years.

I myself will ask my Nongs this question when they come talk to me with regard to issues such as this. Is her tirak married? If yes, can she accept being a Mia Noi? Can she be assured he will not get tired of her and dump her after that? If not married or the process of divorce, is he serious about marrying her and registering the marriage officially? How will she support herself (and worse her kids) if he dumps her and leaves. I have another Nong in Hatyai who is going thryu this at the moment, and she seems to have a plan even if she has kids and he kaputs. Even as he truly loves her (told me himself), he is a married man and is not sure how his current r/s with his wife will turn out (not living together). Guess he is her 1st love, so he is really special to her.

In the particular Nong's case (different than above) where I felt she betrayed her tirak, one would be hard pressed to find a better tirak - loving, caring, sacrificial and absolutely faithful. But that was not good enough for her, cos she cannot change her spending habits.

[TooFast]

Man, I think more ppl should read this thread. For once, there's some positive comments/remarks about TG.

I remember 1 year ago, when I still browsing this forum as a guest; no registered account yet, there's alot of negative things said about TG gers and what they can actually do to guys who truly love them.

I have also seen some samsters who would tell those ppl that are in a tirak phase to forget about it, stating foreigners will never understand why TG will do this and do that. They also state that "WL are here to earn money, and will never ever fall in love. If they say they love you, they are lying."

There's also mangosauce.com, where there are articles about farangs who fall for TG and then ended up in agony and misery. I would say 60% of the articles there are critisizing the thais rather badly.

Of course, there's Private Dancer. Inside the book, there's at least 6 or 7 cases of "sad fucks". Those are enough to instill fear on anyone with tirak.
It's really misleading esp for those who hardly get exposed to the real thai culture.

Many harmful comments were indirectly made by them to supposely discourage engaging a relationship with TG. Sometimes, I do wonder why they do that? To save the guy from being a "sad fuck"?

[free]

Originally Posted by TooFast

Man, I think more ppl should read this thread. For once, there's some positive comments/remarks about TG.

I remember 1 year ago, when I still browsing this forum as a guest; no registered account yet, there's alot of negative things said about TG gers and what they can actually do to guys who truly love them.

I have also seen some samsters who would tell those ppl that are in a tirak phase to forget about it, stating foreigners will never understand why TG will do this and do that. They also state that "WL are here to earn money, and will never ever fall in love. If they say they love you, they are lying."

One thing I wonder about the ones who got cheated, how is their lifestyle? What do they do to give confidence to the TG (WL or not) that he is here to stay, and not someone who will come and go when he's got enough? Security to the TG seems to be typically on the topmost of their agenda, followed by faithfulness and love, esp for those who had been hurt before. I am trying to imagine how much can the TG love her man (who maybe supplying her every need at that time) if she sees him having no qualms about sleeping with other women, and in a sense no different from the jao-chuu Thai men they have come to hate. Perhaps to her, sooner or later, he is going to find another girl more exciting and that is the end of the "kop gan" r/s. Hence the "let me reap what I can now" attitude.

Also, do they give the gal enough "room" to lead a normal life, or cage them up, fearing that they will do something wrong once they are released to fly free? One of the things I learnt is most TGs hate to be "caged" up and watched like a hawk. That kind of distrust (even if done out of love -more likely insecurity) is an insult to them (to anyone for that matter). Even to my Dancer and my tirak. I have been guilty of it in the past too, but I have since learn to relax and let live.

I am sure there are great guys who got cheated all the same, but I also believe they are probably a minority within the population of the "cheated". In general, if the relationship got started on proper grounds, the chances of failure are still high, but I don't think the gal set out to cheat. Perhaps in the case of the WL, it may be a bit different, but again, if the whole thing is NOT built on sex (even if it was a starter in that it was how they met), but rather on what the future holds for the couple, there should be a myriad of things that will bond the 2 together. If the couple still breaks up, it should be more a case of "kop gan mai dai" (personality and mentality differences - as in all BGRs).

Does anyone share my perspective?

[Snuber]

Originally Posted by free

So it is possible. I had big problems believing my tirak when she said she is thinking about sending home only* 3-4k baht to her mum

If they are living in the province, it is possible. The living standards are much lower than the capital - Bkk.

Just imagine $20 baht can buy some food in the province, but not much in Bkk.

The amount that you mentioned shld be sufficient, if not just top it up a little. It also depends on their commitments (eg monthly house rental etc) & the number of family members who are unable to work. Of cos, not referring to those able-bodied males who chose to laze around at home.

Just give abit more than sufficient, so that it won't be so tight, yet a bit loose.

[free]

Originally Posted by Snuber

If they are living in the province, it is possible. The living standards are much lower than the capital - Bkk.

Just imagine $20 baht can buy some food in the province, but not much in Bkk.

The amount that you mentioned shld be sufficient, if not just top it up a little. It also depends on their commitments (eg monthly house rental etc) & the number of family members who are unable to work. Of cos, not referring to those able-bodied males who chose to laze around at home.

Just give abit more than sufficient, so that it won't be so tight, yet a bit loose.

Haha, guess I am lucky here. The mum (& her hubby) has no intention to stop working in their farm. In fact only recently did they save enough to pay for the downpayment for their small but new bike (can imagine how tough life was w/o even a bike in the countryside). I too want my gal to have a bike to ride around when she visits. When I visit, we will rent a car cos I can;t ride! And am also a lousy pillion rider.

Mum actually thank me for taking care of her daughter abd reminded us not to be careless in spending and that we need to save for our future. I recently did a few small things for my tirak after I made up my mind who I would pick - the one who stayed by me when my chips were down. It gave her and family a lot of face and help them to accept me as her hubby-to-be, and with pride too. To me it is a win-win and cost me less than if I had gone my original plan of getting engaged about 2 years before getting married (cos got to prepare for living in LOS - and will need cash). And yet, immediate result.

As for giving more, I dun see the need right now. No point spoiling them - and we re not married yet anyway. Really I prefer to go visit them and do things with the cash and made sure life is better for them. Perhaps buy automated farming equipment, improve the farming methodology, etc, If they want to build a better house for themselves, they can do it with the extra money they would have made from an improved farm. Teach them to fish, not give them fishes only.

[Snuber]

Originally Posted by thaivisitor

That's why if they marry someone they love, they will support him thru think and thin, even to the extreme of selling her body to help him out, which is of course unthinkable to us.

The good thing about this is they will love you wholeheartedly. While the bad thing is they are willing to sell their bodies to help out. Sounds very crazy to us, but more like a norm to them. Perhaps a large part of it comes from their peers.

Hope my "lo so" answer helps to give you a better insight.

Lo so? Nope! It's good to hear from the mouth of an SGrean who offers the views of both sides of the coin, certainly having lived there & having a Thai wife sure helps alot!

However, in any case, it's always good to get the girl out of the trade when she's still quite new, if the guy can help. Else, the sad thing is that they will soon think like those already in the trade for some time already & resigned themselves as it is their fate.

Sad but true