My Fillial Daughter

[TooFast]

Originally Posted by Snuber

However, in any case, it's always good to get the girl out of the trade when she's still quite new, if the guy can help. Else, the sad thing is that they will soon think like those already in the trade for some time already & resigned themselves as it is their fate.

Hmm...can I ask how to get her out of the trade early? Assumingly, we are in the middle class.

Does proposing to her helps?

[free]

Originally Posted by TooFast

Hmm...can I ask how to get her out of the trade early? Assumingly, we are in the middle class.

Does proposing to her helps?

It sure helps, esp if that means she has a place in your family. But one thing u sure gonna need - CASH. To pay off the whatever debts she (most probably her parents, really), and maybe even to set up the parents for their old age retirement, esp if they are old. One thing I would suggest, visit her parents (with her of course), and gauge them for yourself. I have seen guys with great gals but the guys still gave up, cos her parents/family are a sinking (stinking?) black hole and are never contented.

Of course contented parents do exist for I have met (or at least talked to) 5 sets of parents (5 out of 5 - not bad huh? 100% record).

There are cases where the family is in debt cos the dad drinks and gambles and may even be on drugs and not bother to work, and he borrows heavily knowing that his daughter will pay off his debts (couldn;t care less what she has to do to make that money?) and there are cases of greedy mums who subtlely hint or even boldly asked for Gold and jewellery even before her daughter is married off to the guy. If anything, the mum is the one who is pushing for the marriage, and starts to dictate her requirements, even at the 1st visit. And cases, where the siblings (usually bros?) and uncles and whoever are jobless or sick and need lots of money.

One of my USA frd and his wonderful gal (who had lived/stuided/worked) in USA for 6 years broke up cos the gal could not "rein-in" her greedy mum, and he could not stand the idea of having to "buy" the daughter, even at the 1st visit to her Thailand home, the mmu showed her ugly greedy face. The cultural differences became too much, and she was caught in between and they finally splitted.

On the other hand, I have seen other gals (mine included) who "fought" to protect her tirak and will not let him "suffer" any more than is needed. There are probably minimum (and reasonable) customary expectations that one needs to oblige when visiting, especially to the village, but the gal will seek a balance. Interestingly, in my case, it is not actually the parents per se that I need to be shielded from, but the other "leeches" in the extended family. She did her part and everybody is supposed to know that we dun have much money and we need whatever we can save to build our lives together. Haha, I feel safe to visit now.

[chinaboy]

Originally Posted by thaivisitor

The important thing is not to analyse how much they need to survive and come out with the money. We must never be so calculative as we must remember, they are your parents-in- law.

My mother-in-law doesn't need much but my wife send to her 5,000 baht twice a month. Whenever I go back, I would also give her some money ranging from 5,000 to 10,000 baht. I know she doesn't need so much to spend but I don't think about that whenever I give her. I just give what I feel comfortable at the moment.

u're a good man, TV ....

after reading all your posts in this thread ....
your gal is very lucky to have someone like u ....

cheers

[chinaboy]

Originally Posted by thaivisitor

No lah... I think many people are also like dat. I thought it is only logical and reasonable mah... The fear is by people who are NOT yet married so they are gathering pointers but when they are married, I'm sure many will behave as I do.

i agreed ... but it take a lot to be able to think neutral, logical and reasonable ..

I mean we didn't "buy" our wives... so we shouldn't be calculating like we want to make our money worth it. KNN, already we cheong spend so much more per month so why be calculative in our own relatives?

agreed again ...

sometimes it has to do with the mindset. Many people are calculating because of the assumed fear that the family might be cheating them. We should learn to change that thinking and instead if within our means to help even other family members to get out of poverty, why not?

well said ....

[Snuber]

Originally Posted by thaivisitor

The important thing is not to analyse how much they need to survive and come out with the money. We must never be so calculative as we must remember, they are your parents-in- law.

Perhaps some are calculative which I have to agree. But there are also some who don't earn as much. Besides the Thai family which he has to help support, there are also his SG parents or family which he has to support. Thus, he has to calculate the amount that he can spare.

[Snuber]

Originally Posted by TooFast

Does proposing to her helps?

Yes & No depending on what the girl or the family wants or needs.

Some TGs are willing to give up their wish of buying a new house for her family & willing to live in a rented one, with her tirak chipping in the support monthly. To live with whatever they have. Cost of a new house doesn't come cheap. Around $700k - $800k baht for the provinces if I'm not wrong. Can anyone confirm this?

While some still insist on staying in the trade just to fulfill the wish of buying a house. If the family doesn't have a car or it is faulty, just be prepared that she might stay longer than expected to purchase the additional.

But proposing to her is good in a sense that she knows she has a place in your heart & as in all r/s, it's good to share your dreams with each other so that both can work towards them.

[free]

Originally Posted by Snuber

But proposing to her is good in a sense that she knows she has a place in your heart & as in all r/s, it's good to share your dreams with each other so that both can work towards them.

One thing I have not explicitly done is to propose, yet I think I am achieving similar results. I made sure that each gal I have dated seriously knows that my intention is to see if we re suitable for each other, and if yes, marriage is my goal. So in a sense, from day one, the gal if she is any good, will realize the trying to "rip" me off will get her no where, if her own intention is to find a good man who will & can take care of her and also love and cherish her.

I think sharing of dreams and what we each want for the future is most important. The gal with whom I did this most is the one I ultimately chose to pursue to work out my future with. If one has a so-called Tirak but one hasn't even reached a point where you are at least interested in what each other thinks about your (and her) lifegoals and dreams, better re-examine your relationship. Maybe ask if you shouldn't be calling each other "tiraK" as yet. Better say one is at the stage where you are "maak gwaa peun, dtae yang mai chai tirak" (more than friends but still not lovers).

Maybe I am more extreme but I feel that the term "tirak" has been grossly abused in SB forum.

[TooFast]

How come this thread become 2 stars?

[siamcutey]

Originally Posted by TooFast

I have also seen some samsters who would tell those ppl that are in a tirak phase to forget about it, stating foreigners will never understand why TG will do this and do that. They also state that "WL are here to earn money, and will never ever fall in love. If they say they love you, they are lying."

There's also mangosauce.com, where there are articles about farangs who fall for TG and then ended up in agony and misery. I would say 60% of the articles there are critisizing the thais rather badly.

Of course, there's Private Dancer. Inside the book, there's at least 6 or 7 cases of "sad fucks". Those are enough to instill fear on anyone with tirak.
It's really misleading esp for those who hardly get exposed to the real thai culture.

Many harmful comments were indirectly made by them to supposely discourage engaging a relationship with TG. Sometimes, I do wonder why they do that? To save the guy from being a "sad fuck"?

Probably because many of such relationships started out from Sex first then goin through the Bf/gf phase

It depends on what circle of friends you mix around.
There was a story which I read before,

If you mix with a group of 100 successful men, they will teach you the secrets to success and pull you along the way. The very least they will do is to bring you along

However if you mix with a group of 100 unsuccessful people, they can't teach you how to be successful cos they are not there yet.

This story however doesn't mean when you friend others, look at their CV and credentials.

Stories are meant to be read, digested but doesn't mean you got to follow them. It acts as a guide. If you follow the guide and treat it like a bible, you are stupid. But on the other hand, ignoring the stories as one off cases, doesn't mean you are smart either.

This kind of Thai concept relationship, not many people in life will experience. If you experience it, take it as a chapter in life and hopefully the chapter doesn't end with THE END.

SC

[siamcutey]

Originally Posted by TooFast

How come this thread become 2 stars?

2 stars, 3 stars or 5 stars, I don't give a shit about it.

When I started a thread, I don't care how much stars its awarded or even how many views it hit.

Want to talk about credit, years back, I will not have requested Sammyboy, not sammyboyfor, to change Siamcutey's $40 Thai Reports to the current Geylang $40 Thai Reports. Purpose was that it ain't mine alone. Everyone have a part in it to make it work. Changing the thread title will supposedly boost postings and make it open for more people. Why bother with individual credit? The best thread in the forum don't get a prize.

No purpose to hanker after such things in life. You ain't gonna get a single cent out of it. The smart ones, really smart ones know how to make use of communities, forums to make money and get money making ideas. Of course, what I meant was those share investing forums where people give news, insiders via PM etc.

These people make their time worthwhile discussing, analysing on the market thrends. What do we get here? All ideas on how to spend more money.( hahaha, no pun intended)

SC

[TooFast]

Originally Posted by siamcutey

2 stars, 3 stars or 5 stars, I don't give a shit about it.

Oh well, I just think this is a very good thread. Should deserve something

Glad you're back.

[siamcutey]

Originally Posted by TooFast

Oh well, I just think this is a very good thread. Should deserve something

Glad you're back.

Was away because not free over the past 2 weeks due to some personal matters.

As for this thread, finish talking, I sua liao. Will not go thinking about it. One should move forward with times and not keep standing at the same spot or even go back to past. Even if this thread deleted, also like that.

SC

[TooFast]

Originally Posted by siamcutey

As for this thread, finish talking, I sua liao. Will not go thinking about it. One should move forward with times and not keep standing at the same spot or even go back to past. Even if this thread deleted, also like that.

Actually, if I have not gone to meet the samsters, I will have some more doubts to post here.

Maybe you're right. Time to move forward.

Unless of course, TV still want to post some more good-ending stories

[free]

Originally Posted by siamcutey

Probably because many of such relationships started out from Sex first then goin through the Bf/gf phase

It depends on what circle of friends you mix around.
There was a story which I read before,

If you mix with a group of 100 successful men, they will teach you the secrets to success and pull you along the way. The very least they will do is to bring you along

However if you mix with a group of 100 unsuccessful people, they can't teach you how to be successful cos they are not there yet.

This story however doesn't mean when you friend others, look at their CV and credentials.

Stories are meant to be read, digested but doesn't mean you got to follow them. It acts as a guide. If you follow the guide and treat it like a bible, you are stupid. But on the other hand, ignoring the stories as one off cases, doesn't mean you are smart either.

This kind of Thai concept relationship, not many people in life will experience. If you experience it, take it as a chapter in life and hopefully the chapter doesn't end with THE END.

SC

Great Points SC, I couldn't put it any better.

[Wang Ye]

Tumbs up to the brothers would did such a great post here. It is most heartening to hear something humane and to know that there are such great people around.

Wang Ye salutes you guys!