My Fillial Daughter

[Bangkok Master]

Originally Posted by siamcutey

You are only close to the scenario. Wait one day, if I can achieve to this stage, then I post.

I post my daily blog, How I send my wife to work in MP, wait for her call me then I drive her home, every month take money from her.....

I think it takes a brave and thick-skinned man to be in this situation, nevertheless if you achieve this status pls do let us know cos I will be the first one to congratulate u cos you are one of the firsts to nick $$$ from them instead of giving it to them........keke(just kidding)

Thai men will never feel ashamed of it cos there isn't "cuckold" in their dictionary so can "sabaai sabaai" and have $$$ to spend why not? But this "humpie pie" will definately unable to swallow for us.

[free]

Originally Posted by thaivisitor

I can see her needs to be large but not necessarily genuine.

Her dad has a medical problem but they want to go to private hospital thinking that the proviate hospitals provide better health care than the govt hospitals. I don't think so. 1 of 2 houses is paid up, so many singaporeans' houses are not even paid up. That is not a problem as they have bank financing. Worst come to worst, she can alwyas sell a house. Children in International Schools. What's wrong with their local school? Especially International School teaches Thai as a second language.

It is a lifestyle she chose, so rightfully she live with whatever conditions it comes with. As the saying goes, you make your bed, you lie in it.

Nope, he is in the Govt hospital in CR. Anyway they just dun have the money to go private even if they wanted to. The CR house is paid up for some time now, but it is not in the main city (quite outskirts) so not easy to sell at short notice. The condo in CR is still being paid for and that is the one that partly gets her into trouble. Also will loose a lot of money plus very hard to sell at short term. One car is paid up but shit, her younger bro is driving it and she can't take back cos he needs it to work and he also helps to support & take care of her dad since she use to travel often. The one she drives (or maybe I should say used to drive) is still being paid for.

As for her kids they have been attending of school for years, and to change system suddenly just like that, I think they will "die" in the Thai system. From their spoken English with me, I know for sure they dun attend local schools.

Agreed, all these seems extravagant right now and I too questioned her about it. I even question why should she paid half of her kids' expenses and her ex-hubby the other half when they are living with their father. But they are her children and she wants to be a good mother to them & give them the best she can afford at that time (I see that as a virtue). This woman even opened a mini-mart (seen it) for her ex-hubby (now remarried to the woman he jao chuued with) so that he can at least provide for his share of expenses for the kids. KNN, the ex-hubby still dun know how to treasure her.

As I see it, that all these commitments were no problems for her when she used to make 100k - 150k baht a month until about 6 months ago. She is basically just like a SG yuppie with a lot of commitmetns and was caught by surprise in financial crunch when she lost her job. Definitely not something she chose to happen. She did not blame anyone for it.

What I can say about her is that if I have the means to help her out of this current mess, there are a lot of positive traits she has, and she is definitely a woman with capability & drive and very biz-minded too. Definitely able to become a help mate in addtion to being a soul mate. In many ways, she combines the best (IMHO) of the SG woman with the Thai woman - very hard to find. Plus with all the traits of the dream gal I was waiting for since I was 21 (serious!). If not for this huge financial problem or if I had met her 1 year earlier (before I even met Rain and Film), the path I am taking now may well be very different. At 34 and a mother of 3 (oldest already 15), she is not interested in fooling around.

Too bad I am not able to help so I lan lan should give way to another who can. I only hope she will open her heart. Now she just won't listen and said no interest to marry anyone she doesn't love, and dun want to marry for the money (that's why a pauper like me got a chance with her heart).

Guess one cannot always have his cake and eat it too.

[siamcutey]

Originally Posted by free

At 34 and a mother of 3 (oldest already 15), she is not interested in fooling around.

When a woman reach that age and with kids, the only thing that she is interested in is to see her kids grow up and have a good life with good education and career. As for any men that comes into their life, must first be able to help her out financially, or else talk how much love also no use. Even if the man is able to help her out financially, the woman will probably treat him as a finacial institute and will take a very long while to love him. Why? because her ex-husband is a jao chuu.

SC

[free]

Originally Posted by siamcutey

You are only close to the scenario. Wait one day, if I can achieve to this stage, then I post.

I post my daily blog, How I send my wife to work in MP, wait for her call me then I drive her home, every month take money from her.....

Then that time I will know what it means to be a 101% THAI.

Anyway, I have no intention to be a 101% THAI in the 1st place.

hahaha
SC

When you can do that, I will kowtow to you and bpai you as master sifu. Actually already I lose. Cos I can never do that. I am a jealous man, even as my other half also very jealous. Haha sometimes we joke we will kill each if caught jao chuu.

No need for me to be 101% or even 100% thai lah. Just live there and be in harmony with these ppl can liao. I can be with them but I dun need to be like them lah. Got a bigger group of more decent folks I can spend more time with. No, still no need to look down on these ppl. Just accept them for who they are. Hate the bastard things they do, but not hate them.

[Bangkok Master]

Originally Posted by free

Too bad I am not able to help so I lan lan should give way to another who can. I only hope she will open her heart. Now she just won't listen and said no interest to marry anyone she doesn't love, and dun want to marry for the money (that's why a pauper like me got a chance with her heart).

Guess one cannot always have his cake and eat it too.

I think you should think in a postive way cos I believe that you're even luckily to be with your film. It's not your fault not to be rich but sometimes life is just like that and it has to go on. I also felt in love with a not so famous thai actress before but I know my own limits, I can't afford her high soc lifestyle so have to give up. But now I look back, I think it was a good move even if I was rich at that moment, I think I would had kanna slaughtered till like headless chicken.

First choice is always diffcult to obtain. But having second is not bad after all.

[free]

Originally Posted by siamcutey

When a woman reach that age and with kids, the only thing that she is interested in is to see her kids grow up and have a good life with good education and career. As for any men that comes into their life, must first be able to help her out financially, or else talk how much love also no use. Even if the man is able to help her out financially, the woman will probably treat him as a finacial institute and will take a very long while to love him. Why? because her ex-husband is a jao chuu.

SC

You are 110% correct. If the man cannot even accept her love for her kids, he won't even have the chance to open the door to her heart, let alone get in. And even if she loves him and is willing to marry him, he can forget about marrying her officially until the eldest boy goes to Uni in 2 years time. She already promised the boy and she intends to keep her promise.

Maybe one thing that made me stand out was that she knew (from ehr cousin) I really loved my ex-Rain's son like my own (and still do), and that I had waited for Rain to be ready (gave her a reasonable amount of time). Plus a lot of her strong points (maybe too strong for Thai men but SG men are used to it), I really can appreciate, told her so and also encouraged her. All these I supposed helped her to see me differently from the rest. Even though I am not rich and never tried to show I am.

Yes the financial part is impt but really what she desires is the opportunity to do her own biz with her friend (already a proven & profitable biz) but it means she has to put in some money which she doesn;t have now. She has no desire to be fed for life - no she'd rather make her own money. And she believes that if I really have, I will help for sure, and she knows I really dun, and yet still dun dump me. I was expecting her to dump me for a long time but it has not happened. Maybe I am the one playing the KC.

As for taking a while to love the man, I dun know what to say. No one else had managed to touch her heart for the last 6 years. Until this clown came along and we fell in love literally at first sight (2nd sight to be precise). What caught her fancy I believe, was when I met her with my Nong Sao (her younger cousin) at PumpUp the 1st time, I had ZERO interest in her (even shun her), cos in my heart, there was still Film and I even showed her Film's photo's in my wallet, PDA and hp. In fact she teased me "this man very faithful ah" Only when Film happened to boo-booed big-time and chased me away 3 days later, did I notice her the 2nd time around, when I visit Nong's place and met her there again. Definitely that clear cut stand I made the 1st time round opened her heart's door, and made her want to know me more, cos I asked her. I still remembered the 1st week when she was so confused with her own feelings, cos she has not allowed herself to love anyone for so long, and she was scared too. Me also scared and blur, cos this was like growing at rocket speed! Always been a skeptic of love at 1st sight, and yet I kena myself.

Yes, there is this real nice & rich Swiss farang (her stock trading ex-customer) who likes/loves her one-sidedly, visits her family, and had been pursuing her for 1.5 years. Even offered her 2mil Baht in her bank if she agrees to marry him. But she has no interest then, and still dun now. Good friend yes, love, zero. (In fact kena scolded by her 2 days ago when I suggested she considers him, and then cried hard cos I had hurt her by saying that Before we become very close, I had actually talked to Mr A. when he called her so I know she is not lying (he had no idea we were beginning to fall in love).

Sigh, this is someone I really want to love, but cannot since I cannot help her at all. What to do?

[free]

Originally Posted by Bangkok Master

I think you should think in a postive way cos I believe that you're even luckily to be with your film. It's not your fault not to be rich but sometimes life is just like that and it has to go on. I also felt in love with a not so famous thai actress before but I know my own limits, I can't afford her high soc lifestyle so have to give up. But now I look back, I think it was a good move even if I was rich at that moment, I think I would had kanna slaughtered till like headless chicken.

First choice is always diffcult to obtain. But having second is not bad after all.

In a very big way, I agree with you. I am lucky to have Film. She is the one who clearly "rak pom mot jai". Just as she thinks she is lucky to have me, cos no one as ever loved her as much as I do. Once can always argue she has less distractions and so can concentrate more on me unlike R or Dancer and her classmate, all I care is Film did all that out of love for me, and she bothered about my happiness and wellbeing literally all the time. She bears my idiosyncracies cos she sees the me inside and her love covers all that. In her loving, different, quiet and subtle way, she is the Wind beneath my Wings.

Even though R, I cannot have, she shall forever be my dream gal (whose personality existed in my heart long before she came into my life), But I will NEVER see Film as the second choice. Film was there before R came along, she was there for me when Dancer said she wanted to be alone, she was there again when Rain and me failed in our attempt, and she has managed to stay in my heart even after R came along (after working hard to convince me her negligence was not intentional, but out of her desire so be seen as a good gal, so kena saboed by sister). She passed the test and lasted the race, on her own merits. She "defeated" all the other 3 who had my attention and love at one time or another. Least pretty, least qualifications, worst past, but she won, clean and fair. That makes her my 1st choice.

[free]

Originally Posted by Bangkok Master

But if kanna caught, the consequences is unthinkable. I think maybe to the extend of kanna "cacastrate". The jealously limit for all thai babes are all time high.

haha, my beloved said she will kill me if I ever do that. I tell her the same too. What happens when 2 jealous persons fall in love? Murder on the rocks!

[free]

Originally Posted by thaivisitor

Well, the worst is yet to come...

I fear for her & my heart goes out to her. Yet there is not much I can do.

Anyway, If the father is in Govt hospital, than there should not be much problem with the hospital bills as they DEFINITELY don't chase you away or not operate on you if you don't have enough money. Also, the govt does help out in the health care programs. Unless of course he wants to stay in A class instead of C. Anyway, the A class is 500 to 600 baht per night. If it is C class, there shoudl be no worries at all as one of the guy in my wife's village (very poor) had an accident and was warded in CR hospital for a month. There was no problems whatsoever with the bills..

You are right that the Govt hosp. dun chase them away. They HAVE already done the op or he would have been dead by now, let alone recovering and leaving ICU. Its the op and ICU that cost more, not the normal rooms. But even then, tough for her now. As she said, spending 10k was no issue then. Now, 1k also tough. It must have been a big blow to her to face such a drastic change. It is easy for us to say she deserves it, but when you get to meet her personally, u will see how nice a person she really is. Different than ALL the other TGs I know, but I like - my type of dream gal. That's why all the more sad I can't help her.

As for the financial commitments with her assets, she has to sort out herself. Want to have a good "front" then suffer for it.

Well, she did not intent for that to happen and she was doing well in a respectable career, earning even more than most SG ladies, so naturally had bigger commitments. Many SGreans do that too. Even successful Bizmen can fail. Like a friend of mine, used to be well a known "president of a public-listed company in SES", and then it went belly-up. Of course she will have to sort herself out, and given time, I know she will and she already said she will. She is a very driven and determined "modern" Thai woman, like many SG women, but yet retain much of the values of the decent TG. That is one of the things about her that attracts me to her in the first place, when I 1st met her. It's like seeing/holding the "best of both worlds" right in from of me. If anything, she has literally all the things I like about Dancer, Rain, Dancer's classmate and even Film combined, except she can drink (in fact taught me to, KKN 1st time I drink kena drunk on Black label, when dun even drink beer last time. But it was fun ). Of course got some of her own neg pts too. Who doesn't? Those I already know, I can accept, those I dun know yet, dun think got much chance to know anymore, sigh.

As for the children, if they are ready for university, good luck to them as Thai Universities will require Thai as a first language and International Schools does not have the requirements to gain entry to Thai University. If she cannot afford to send them to overseas, the kids would then be useless, can't even get good jobs in Thailand. So up to her for her kids to "die" to accomodate the change in school system if she let them go to local school, or to "die" when they are grown up

I dun know, cos we never talked about the 1st language thingy. Maybe I will let her know about this requirement when it is appropriate. I think she should know though, having graduated from Chinagmai Uni herself. Anyway Uni is 2 yrs away for the eldest son - smart chap though. But they will have to accept a lower std of living cos mummy can't afford it anymore.

My children goes to private schools but I made sure that their first language is Thai, not English or Chinese.

Dun know if they re in the same situation. I asked once if they study thai. She said "of course, we are thai". I hope so too. Earlier, I had meant to say their english is good (doesn't mean it must be their 1st language, right?), even as mum's is very good as she understands 99% of all I say in English, and I was not using simple words. Not saying she puts English above Thai. Dun think she will ever do that.

[free]

Originally Posted by thaivisitor

. "No one else had managed to touch her heart for the last 6 years." "cos no one as ever loved her as much as I do" etc, etc?"

These words I dun say myself, for they would have meant nothing then. They're told to me by R herself (and her cousin also told me that after we met the 2nd time. No, in fact she also said that even before we met) and Film told me that very often, when I sometimes asked her whether I am good enough for her.

What makes you think she never had someone better than you previously? And that someone may find her not good enough so he left? Because she tells you so? But that isn't the point. The point is that nobody says this or think this out in reality. You only see such "declaration" in movies.

Doesn't matter. Only what Film tells me matters now. I would want her to continue feeling/thinking this way. BTW, I hardly watch movies, really! Oh yes,. one more thing. I have since learnt that "better" does not equal to "more suitable".

Also, although you say is your 1st choice, with whatever reasons you put out, have you really read what you have written in your other posts? Like for example "Sigh, this is someone I really want to love, but cannot since I cannot help her at all. What to do?"

Maybe I had not been clear, or perhaps the way you & I expressed ourselves using our language is really different. Thanks for this chance to clarify.

As I continue with Film on our journey, and assuming R solved her problem and wants me back with her, I am not going to turn my back on Film cos Film is 2nd choice and R is 1st. The only way Film & I will break up from now (as we promised each other) will be character differences we cannot reconcile - so "kop gan mai dai", not becos of any external love interest. We sure gonna work hard at reconciling any differences and WE think we are doing a good job so far.

Film will remain my chosen one - my 1st choice (1st priority), period. For me, Love is more than just a feeling. It is a decision. Film knows how I think, perhaps more than anyone else I had dated. That 8+ months of platonic friendship we shared, had served to develop our foundation together w/o us even realising it, until we got together. Often, when we quarrel, those memories of what we had told each other as friends during those months - about our dreams and disappointments, etc., had helped us to know the other's innerself better. It was also those memories/knowledge that made me decide to give her a 2nd chance after her boo-boo, cos I can't believe she neglected me intentionally so as to drive me away. I was right.

I have to have very good & stong reasons that I believed deeply in, in order to choose the least pretty, educated, etc as mentioned before. Reasons that I believe will carry us thru the days when I am old, while she is still much younger. For that,YOU are the one I have to thank, for it was you who made me think about how I should finally choose.

[free]

Originally Posted by thaivisitor

Anyway we talk when I'm back end of the month. Also need to discuss with you on my trip to CR. Have to go as I'm having lunch with Bro Kevin, our sponsor, kekekekeke

So you are back in HY. Send Kevin and my Nong my warmest regards.

[free]

Originally Posted by thaivisitor

The day you are able to "cut off" form them all and remain with your own girl, is the day you come to the "real world". Other than that, you life will be a mess. .

I have chosen, and therefore the time has come. I am in the process of cutting off. It cannot all be done overnight, esp in R's case. Why I suggest to R to consider her current suitors? Cos I was trying to start the process of withdrawal with her! But even Film herself dun agree to that - ask me to do it slowly and when the time is right. (u know how much more I love Film cos of this? She is so jealous type, but still can ot-ton to do what is right). For Dancer, we had agreed long ago whether together or not, we can still be friends. Only need to clarify the situation with her parents.Anyway we are not really back. Just talking about it, though her intention to return is genuine, but she knows the ball is still in my court. For her classmate, I broke coommunuication the very next day after I made up my mind. Cos she was asking me to go visit her parents during Songkran. Cannot!

I hope that the fact that I could share with Film my problem in this area gives you an indication how much we share. We had been doing that since more than 1 yr ago (earlier she was the one with the headaches and wanted out)..

Seriously, you are doing the things which are not productive to your live. Take for example, you now learn to write in Thai, what good does it do for you? Work for Thai companies? Since when has this been an advantage? Impress the Thai girls? Big deal. You got to assess what you are doing, and why? Then live in the real world.

I have always believed in being able to integrate with the community I live in. For that reason, I also learnt Malay (speak/read/write) cos my old home was like a Malay kampong. Learning Malay & now Thai has enriched my life a lot, as I begin to read/write. Basic things that one enjoys, like even Karaoke songs - I now beginning to read thai words, not the romanized ones. Perhaps I enjoy the challenge. Cheap thrill maybe, but I like it.

Also, while some people spend time going drinking with buddies, shopping, see shows, even cheonging, etc. I choose to learn a language I love, communicating with ppl (male and female) all over world (and I mean all over) about a common language we all like. People who have never been to Thailand, and others who live there. Guys with Thai gfs/wives & ladies with Thai bf/husbands. Even old ppl who just want to retire there. And with Thais who run language schools as our final guide. To me that is my idea of fun. Boring right?

What other reasons I learn? Yes, some of the things I used to do did put me into meetings with Thai companies with the senior executives. Being able to speak Thai is always a good icebreaker, sometimes even a requirement cos my work with them concerns working with the hearts and minds of people in their company who may not be good in English or even konw it at all. Of course still must deliver if they engage my services. I dun discount the possiblity of being in such situations again, cos what I did were really my strengths & training.

I know that initially, if/when I start a biz going I will not be in a position like you do perhaps) when I have a PA who can read everything for me. (can I trust him/her then?) Documents that are important, I better at least can read myself and can understand roughly what I am signing for. Have wondered whether I am signing my life away when I rented cars, when the guy gave the rental agreement in Thai and say "signed here, and here, and here". Today at least I read around the areas I sign, plus the small print. In future I will read all of it. Heard enough stories from my farang friends who got ripped off, and got to pay a lot when they had an accident. I myself kena pay 3k baht before. And sometimes go to a place, want to read something, only got Thai newspapers and mags. Felt like a fool, cos can only see angkong. If only I can read, I tell myself .....

Guess different strokes for different folks

if is just for gals, speaking more than enough.

[free]

Originally Posted by thaivisitor

SC, isn't that an overstatement?

I don't think its fair that because of a few thai guys, the 30 million + men (including children as one day they'll be adults) in Thailand are also group like this.

Show me a hundred guys that are like this, and I'll show you a thousand that are not. I have friends who are doctors, teachers, army, police and many more different jobs who I think would beg to differ..

TV, I 1000% agree with. I am sorry I did not qualify earlier that of all the many thai guys I know and are good friends with, this guy with the apnaam wife is the only one who acts and thinks like that. He is a tiny minority, maybe 2% or less in my circle of thai friends

[free]

Originally Posted by thaivisitor

As for the financial commitments with her assets, she has to sort out herself. Want to have a good "front" then suffer for it

By the way I had questioned her before why she bought a condo in CM when she already has her house in CR. It's because her kids are in CM and she goes there to visit them often - at least a few days once a month. Fair enough, if she had not run into problems, one can't really fault that thinking.

Sort the same reason why my SG friend and his thai wife has a house in CR and another house in BKK, and yet rent another in Ratchada close to the pub he runs.

[siamcutey]

Originally Posted by thaivisitor

SC, isn't that an overstatement?

I don't think its fair that because of a few thai guys, the 30 million + men (including children as one day they'll be adults) in Thailand are also group like this.

Show me a hundred guys that are like this, and I'll show you a thousand that are not. I have friends who are doctors, teachers, army, police and many more different jobs who I think would beg to differ.

By the way, aren't there some SG guys who supposedly also have "tiraks" working as WL in GL? Isn't it also a wonder that they can bear to see their "tiraks" getting so many customers per day, get "free" bonks from their "tiraks" and even sometimes have the "tiraks" spending on them. Worst still, they even feel proud of their "achievements".

But then, this is only a minority. What I'm trying to point out that whenever, we try to "brand" the disgusting minority Thais, we got to be fair to the rest and also take a look at our own "cultures" to see how different it actually is.

Gotcha!

I mentioned 101% THAI, Not 100% THAI.

The 101% THAI belongs to the category where they can accept their wives to be WL. The 100% THAI is normal THAI. And I never categorise the 30+ million men into the 101% or 100% category yet.

Why do I named them as 101% THAI? Because they got the extra 1% which normal THAIs don't have.

hahaha
SC