woes of a tirak

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by free

Throwing this in for good measure:

Puying Dtua Jing Pop Jer Laew, Gor Mee Cheewit Mai Duay
(After Meet the real McCoy, then got new life oso).

Just hope I dun have to eat my words, cos nothing is impossible
Can only say so far so good, and seems to be getting better, even though also got minor bumps here & there.

have to admit that despite putting this much effort into learning thai from all mediums ie: books, dictionaries, internet etc. trying to better understand the culture n all via travel guide books, biographies, internet narrations/forums etc. there's still more than meets the eye...

by saying gearing up...is more like preparing myself for the culture shock, should i decide to be in LOS for longer period ie: stationed there for 3-5 yrs or if things turn out better than i thought.. perhaps "happily" ever after. been working out some calculations, i believe its not so bad a decision afterall- can evade reservist for some yrs, plenty of business n $ generating opportunities, affordable property n assets up for grabs etc. (i could be wrong...though). but from the financial & economical perspectives.. there's great potential in terms of dividends.

eg: here in sg, despite all the childbirth benefits etc, still got problems affording 1 child (providing education all the way to university)...over in LOS, can easily afford 3-4 kids (providing them education all the way to university too)

as the old chinese saying goes: "qing chang shi yi, zhan chang de yi" (losing in the courtship, gaining in ventures) in some cases vice versa or both. weighing out the concequences, its generally a better place to retire/chill out. its no wonder y they nickname the country: land of smiles / land of a thousand smiles

disclaimer: i'm not advocating that ppl here should take my heed n adopt LOS as new homeland too. there's still vietnam, philippines, cambodia, laos, myanmah, brunei, indonesia, mongolia...etc

[siamcutey]

Originally Posted by suteerak1099

eg: here in sg, despite all the childbirth benefits etc, still got problems affording 1 child (providing education all the way to university)...over in LOS, can easily afford 3-4 kids (providing them education all the way to university too)

as the old chinese saying goes: "qing chang shi yi, zhan chang de yi" (losing in the courtship, gaining in ventures) in some cases vice versa or both. weighing out the concequences, its generally a better place to retire/chill out. its no wonder y they nickname the country: land of smiles / land of a thousand smiles

disclaimer: i'm not advocating that ppl here should take my heed n adopt LOS as new homeland too. there's still vietnam, philippines, cambodia, laos, myanmah, brunei, indonesia, mongolia...etc

though singapore with all the childbirth benefits, many people still can afford to send their child to school. You cannot compare there and say this is singapore and that is thailand. What singapore can offer, thailand might not be able to and what thailand can offer, singapore might not be able to.
Many singaporeans in thailand send their kids to international schools in thailand. Not the local schools. And the fees of international schools are not cheaper than the schools in sg.

The people in China, Taiwan, Vietnam also want to send their kids to singapore and study. Why? Why don't send to their local unis?

People have this misconception that everything in thailand is cheaper than in singapore, less stress, less pressure. But then things are not so simple as what one thinks, or else singapore would be empty and thailand would be flooded with people.

All plans will change once you start staying there for 1 month at least to assess the situation.

disclaimer: I am not discouraging people from looking over the other side of the fence. Just that sometimes the grass doesn't seem greener on the other side until you step on it.

SC

[free]

Originally Posted by suteerak1099

.... affordable property n assets up for grabs etc. (i could be wrong...though). but from the financial & economical perspectives.. there's great potential in terms of dividends....

Only true if the one we chose stays with us to the end. Else, the possibility of saying sayonara to everything is close to 100%. Having said that, I have reached a point where it takes 2. Often a guy will blame the gal if thigns dun work out and she quitted on r/s. As I look back at the past experiences and also those of friends close enough to share much with me, it really takes 2 to tango. A lot has to do with how each party are sensitive to needs of the other.

I think my tirak really showed me that when she respond to my question as to how would I know she wouldn't get tired after a while and drop the whole tirak thingy like a hot potato? She said it is up to how I "tam dtua eng" (my own actions) as she has no reasons to have a echange of heart if I am who I am today, or better, cos this is the guy she loves. After all, like most normal gals, she too wants to settle down and have a happy family with the man she loves. Realised its the same for me as well. That's when we realised that is so IMPT that we accept each other as we are today, instead of hoping she/I will become the someone else that I/she want her/me to be. Now the LDTR really has become very much like an orthodox BGR, except that the culture in LOS applies more than that in SG.

[free]

Originally Posted by siamcutey

Just that sometimes the grass doesn't seem greener on the other side until you step on it.

SC

All of us who are thinking of making a home in LOS better realise that the grass there is not any greener nor any better than those growing here. It is just a different variety of grass and one has to really like it. Whether one prefers cow grass or carpet grass, there are pros & cons of each. It's like some prefer mutton, others prefer beef or even vegetarian!

In my case, it is actually a matter of what is most practical, taking into consideration my roots, what I have to give up and what I stand to gain, as well as the risks involved. Not to mention the exit situation if things really dun materialize. It may be difficult, but ideally the decision to go should be independent of the particular gal involved, i.e., one will still go even if one dun have a tirak today, cos the other reasons have to be good enough to sustain the re-location. Maybe just do it later rather than earlier. Believe that when I have established what I want to do there, the chances of meeting someone new (assuming one is still unattached today) is close to 100%. But for me, I no longer looking around anymore, por jai laew, kekeke

[Bangkok Master]

Originally Posted by siamcutey

I am not discouraging people from looking over the other side of the fence. Just that sometimes the grass doesn't seem greener on the other side until you step on it.

SC

This was what I face when I first step into Thailand and decided to try it out, frankly speaking the first few months I was like thinking, what the hell am I doing here? I started to miss my home, family and friends, I got change my lifestyle from the typical Singaporean to 180 degrees, like what SC mention on the other thread, you have to eat, sleep, drink, play but not think like a Thai. Language will be an intial problem but after a while you will be okay unless you're an language idiot. Food wise still alright cos there still chinese food available everywhere. The most important factor is $. You will have to adjust to the local spending rate as we used to be tourist so you will tend to spend like before can you imagine I spend about 200k Baht for the first 3 months due to settling the accomondation, household items etc. I was like begining to feel bored cos I took a pay cut to come over here and hey I was like losing more than gaining. But later I manage to refit myself into the thai system and everything is smooth from there and now I'm begining to enjoy some of the things that I was supposed to be doing. But with a tirak, the stakes are high cos most likely you would have to fork out her share too unless you want to be "Pichai". So you must ensure that you have a stable income every month if not all hell breaks loose.....like my friend who was recently forced to go back to Sg due to retrenchment and his fairytale came to an end. I think the best option for us to stay permanently in Thailand would be having your own business but it will involved a lot of complication and risks but it would be better than working for someone like me cos not much international company would pay the international standard for their employee cos they got over supply of candidates to choose from, why pay 100k baht to a Sgrean while you can get a thai to work double for 50k baht.

Hopefully all ppl who are contemplating to come over, please prepared yourself mentally and most important financially cos it will be an experience that you will never forget!

[Hakoshu]

I'm interested to work in thailand... Start on my own, Kindly advise bro..

Originally Posted by Bangkok Master

This was what I face when I first step into Thailand and decided to try it out....

[suteerak1099]

credit to some of the valid reasons posted by u guys. wat u guys stated is not entirely wrong, cos we're all entitled our own opinion. bt in my perspective, having weighed the pros vs cons of staying or moving out... the scales seem to tip towards moving out (not being biased by putting my tirak in the equations in general). nevertehless, there could be circumstances where situations change, n i have no other choice bt to remain in sg, run the rat race till the day i die w/o being remotely close to my dreams n goals in life.

like how chinese proverbs have also warned:"guo jiang long dou bu guo di tou she" (dragon that crosses the river cant defeat the snake on home soil). well, life is never about being too comfortable w wat we have, bt its the aspiration of achievements that makes it more fulfilling. "ren wang shang pa, shui wang xia liu" (man aspire greater heights, while water only flow downwards)

its never easy to uproot n relocate 1self, due to all the hassle, adjustments n adaptations. bt if u cant move the mountain, then maybe its time to consider shifting yourself. we dont possess the power to change/improve our surroundings n society, but you can change yourself (either by relocating or mindset)... i think there's some potential in LOS compared to the stiffling conditions here, at least in terms of my career n goals in life. afterall, nothing beats getting some exposure in foreign soil...gain more insights, contacts & broadened network too.

hence with all that in mind, there's also a glimpse of hope for some conclusion for my r'ship w my tirak. only time can tell...

at the end of the day, "ren suan bu ru tian suan" (human will cant supercede Heaven's will)... i'll leave the rest to God & fate to show me wat comes next.

[siamcutey]

Originally Posted by Bangkok Master

The most important factor is $. You will have to adjust to the local spending rate as we used to be tourist so you will tend to spend like before can you imagine I spend about 200k Baht for the first 3 months due to settling the accomondation, household items etc. I was like begining to feel bored cos I took a pay cut to come over here and hey I was like losing more than gaining. But later I manage to refit myself into the thai system and everything is smooth from there and now I'm begining to enjoy some of the things that I was supposed to be doing. But with a tirak, the stakes are high cos most likely you would have to fork out her share too unless you want to be "Pichai". So you must ensure that you have a stable income every month if not all hell breaks loose.....like my friend who was recently forced to go back to Sg due to retrenchment and his fairytale came to an end. I think the best option for us to stay permanently in Thailand would be having your own business but it will involved a lot of complication and risks but it would be better than working for someone like me cos not much international company would pay the international standard for their employee cos they got over supply of candidates to choose from, why pay 100k baht to a Sgrean while you can get a thai to work double for 50k baht.

Hopefully all ppl who are contemplating to come over, please prepared yourself mentally and most important financially cos it will be an experience that you will never forget!

For a start for those going to thailand, you must be earning the same as what you are earning in sg at the very least. After that use the sg currency and convert to thai baht. If starting want to convert to live like thai, its almost near impossible.

Must start learning to eat roadside thai food. Then after 3 months, you can cut down on many expenses.

When you read at those who can maintain a very very comfortable lifestyle in thailand bangkok, I can say that most have their dickfood sponsored by their MNCs or companies. Or those big towkays.

Other than that, starting a small biz, how much does one expect to earn monthly? 30K baht? 50K baht?

can 30K baht be enough for 2 person to survive in bangkok? Wah might seem a lot to the thais, but then really its not enough. Unless you can generate at least 80K baht from your biz which you set up in BKK, other than that, i don't think you can survive and defy all odds.

ALL these figures are with respect to the guy who is with an EX-WL.

In thailand, ever hear "thai chuay thai"? so if you are not khon thai, don't think the government will offer you much help unless for a start you got millions of baht to burn. Start 1 co need 2 million baht, extra work permit, another 2 million baht.

SC

[siamcutey]

Originally Posted by suteerak1099

credit to some of the valid reasons posted by u guys. wat u guys stated is not entirely wrong, cos we're all entitled our own opinion. bt in my perspective, having weighed the pros vs cons of staying or moving out... the scales seem to tip towards moving out (not being biased by putting my tirak in the equations in general). nevertehless, there could be circumstances where situations change, n i have no other choice bt to remain in sg, run the rat race till the day i die w/o being remotely close to my dreams n goals in life.

So for a start, you got to takeover the role of your tirak. From her being the fillial daughter, you have to be the fillial son-in-law.

Then consider yourself being the fillial son to your family in singapore, you will realise, many many hidden costs still not to talk about living expenses for the both of you.

*Electricity in thailand is more expensive then in singapore.

SC

[ruhua]

Originally Posted by Bangkok Master

You will have to adjust to the local spending rate as we used to be tourist so you will tend to spend like before can you imagine I spend about 200k Baht for the first 3 months due to settling the accomondation, household items etc.

I'd be glad to takeover some household items such as sex toys and ropes for SM for a reasonable price.

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by Bangkok Master

...But with a tirak, the stakes are high cos most likely you would have to fork out her share too unless you want to be "Pichai". So you must ensure that you have a stable income every month if not all hell breaks loose.....like my friend who was recently forced to go back to Sg due to retrenchment and his fairytale came to an end. I think the best option for us to stay permanently in Thailand would be having your own business but it will involved a lot of complication and risks but it would be better than working for someone like me cos not much international company...

Hi BM, good points highlighted...yes i'm well aware of the risks of relocation too. frankly speaking, its actually down to our individual discipline in terms of spending power. i've tasted wats it like to be spending euro/sterling pound while income is SGD... being independant in a foreign land = more responsibilty n awareness to be streetwise, so as to minimize risks of falling victim to crime, better financial econs management etc.

adaptations n adjustments to new surroundings, social ethics, culture etc...i think has a lot of positive hidden values, despite the expected odds that can still be overcome. much less to say, if the idea is to settle there eventually, then i think there's more factors that helps sooth the situation.

Furthermore, if there's plans n thoughts of settling there. 1 in the right frame of mind should be making more immaculate plans for the near future, as well as family matters.

pls dont be offended, but i think we singaporeans r too sheltered, too pampered, too spoon-fed. going out there to rough the rough, get some knocks n bruises may not necessarily be something bad after all. (of cos, dont concuss there - help cant be rendered) hahah

as long as establishment is settled, substansive material/financial sustenance is met... by then.. HOPEFULLY, there's little/any issue too complicated that $ cant solve.

btw, another pt to add for my previous post...asian education systems r very much the same across the board. where students r drilled into memorizing model answers than to actually understand the rational/meaning in what is being thought. so i think...regardless the branding of the institution the kids attend...its up to the parents to supplement/nourish/hone the kids thinking skills that helps to make the difference.

wakao.. sorry guys.. didnt mean to make this forum seem like a cross debate in parliament house.. apologies if i've bored anyone.

[DNAT]

Originally Posted by ruhua

I'd be glad to takeover some household items such as sex toys and ropes for SM for a reasonable price.

you dun wanna take over the shampoo meh?

[ruhua]

Originally Posted by DNAT

you dun wanna take over the shampoo meh?

Shampoo I buy wholesale liao. Can last very long.

[Bangkok Master]

Originally Posted by siamcutey

ALL these figures are with respect to the guy who is with an EX-WL.

So I guess you are the "Guy " who is with the ex-WL lah???

That's very true abt the stats cos average I need to spend abt 40k baht per month but not including the hanky-panky kind of things lah, but 1 thing good is I still manage to save some cash here rather in Sg cos in Sg, how much can you save these days?

[ruhua]

Originally Posted by siamcutey

In thailand, ever hear "thai chuay thai"? so if you are not khon thai, don't think the government will offer you much help unless for a start you got millions of baht to burn. Start 1 co need 2 million baht, extra work permit, another 2 million baht.

Singapore also got "Singaporean chuay Singaporean" (Singaporean help Singaporean). ERS.