Safe to travel alone with PRC GF back to China?

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Tks for all your frankness.
This is the real deal, what's the point of telling nice things......
If I do lie to our dear Mr Head over heels, I am no better that those who r setting up the KC traps.
Painful...YES
Cannot erase from hard disk......YES
Flashes appear ever so often.....YES

Its scary shit...so for me, it's more like a personal agenda.
Remembering how I went thru it.....how to forget.
Had nearly broke down from heart attack....ended up doing ECG
Lost 12kg
Broke down like a leaking tap over any and every little thing
Cry in movies...even comedy...on those scenes that have emotional impact
Sometimes driving hear songs that brings memories.....nearly accident dunno how many times liao
I'm now in my late 30s and trust me, when that happened to me...it was something impossible.
So many people persuade me...even other PRC chicks, but just cannot go in.
Just wanted to hear a good thing.

Then my close bro kenna
The cycle is very active...acquiring its fair share of new victims every other day
As mentioned, 1.5yrs ltr, he still an emotional wreck....go KTV, he high only cry cry cry.............

Trust me dude, if you just wanna hear nice words.....u mite just end up like all those who kenna before you......

For me, no $$$$$$$$ involved.
But i rather it was....I can afford...I hang out almost nightly still. Thus the pain will not be so deep
That's Y when the heart is involved, it is where the alarms shud sound off!!!!!

Guess I was lucky...in a way...had friends who went bankrupt, lost their family...everything....for me....once money involved...I become a businessman...occupational hazard I guess
Last but not least, sounds familiar....????? I used to tell others how lucky I am my chick no $$$$$$ involved blah blah....all to familiar liao

[colins]

Originally Posted by DO_YOU_BJ

...Trust me, its hard but its far less painful than to follow thru n see the actual end that will be filled with riddles and questions that can nvr be answered that'll be terrible.
Ever watched a movie or read a book with no ending and so many riddles it make your a complete blurr sotong?
Well, the feeling is a million times worse!

Yes, this basically answers your question bro azzaro. My decision was painful in the 1st two weeks, not its numb whenever I think of it. But I believe I am much more happier and productive now.

[azzaro23]

Originally Posted by colins

Yes, this basically answers your question bro azzaro. My decision was painful in the 1st two weeks, not its numb whenever I think of it. But I believe I am much more happier and productive now.

I would say usually the 1st step is the hardest part for anyone including me to deattach from someone which they grow accustomed to.

[aczeta76]

Actually, when u are busy with work... ur mind will be off her and your bank acct will also grow faster.

hahaha...

[azzaro23]

Originally Posted by aczeta76

Actually, when u are busy with work... ur mind will be off her and your bank acct will also grow faster.

hahaha...

Ya busy with work, make myself tired go home sleep lesser time to let my mind wander away to LA LA LAND

[colins]

Originally Posted by azzaro23

I would say usually the 1st step is the hardest part for anyone including me to deattach from someone which they grow accustomed to.

Then dun feel so down, sad and unhappy all the time. Whatever it is, if you think it is something you want, be happy doing it. If its not something you want or something you cannot control, just extract your possessiveness from it cos it doesnt belong to you.

Dun know how to advice liao, but dun stay in this state for too long. This kind of feeling can change a person quite drastically.

[azzaro23]

Originally Posted by colins

Then dun feel so down, sad and unhappy all the time. Whatever it is, if you think it is something you want, be happy doing it. If its not something you want or something you cannot control, just extract your possessiveness from it cos it doesnt belong to you.

Dun know how to advice liao, but dun stay in this state for too long. This kind of feeling can change a person quite drastically.

Guess in this relationship a lot of thing I am not in control of thus result me have a extreme possessiveness streak.

Thus result me having distrust and extreme mood swings. Think as time goes along I will learn to better manage them. Emotions are a powerful weapons...

[colins]

Originally Posted by azzaro23

Guess in this relationship a lot of thing I am not in control of thus result me have a extreme possessiveness streak.

Thus result me having distrust and extreme mood swings. Think as time goes along I will learn to better manage them. Emotions are a powerful weapons...

It tough to handle all these when you're down la. There are many other things to do and many other areas where you can find happiness. Take care.

[aczeta76]

Bro,

It is tough but hey.. be strong lah.

Sometimes it is strange for overseas long distance r/s... when u 1st part, you will think lovingly about her and try to hold on to your memories together and replay scene after scene.

Then as work set in and distance mellows the feelings, you suddenly feel an emptiness like I mean, u have no one to go and hug when u feel all warm and fuzzy about her and she has no one to lean on when she is in real need.

Working for $$ makes us slave to time and we are not rich bros who can fly to china for weeks at one go, where got leave.

So... like some bros have told me before. THe passion will sizzle out if u dun see eachother often and slowly, u will find that she is juz a memory (like your previous love who have moved on without you)... the sweet memories remains but deep down, you know that you can no longer lie to yourself about a future for the both of you.

I am still thinking whether to let go now or to re-consider till I can find time to see her in Zhu Hai... letting go may be good for her since she will not have a false sense of security in Me.

All is fair in love so sometimes we win, sometimes we lose and sometimes we are in a damn daze and dunno shit.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Originally Posted by azzaro23

I would say usually the 1st step is the hardest part for anyone including me to deattach from someone which they grow accustomed to.

Dear Azzaro, did i mention the 3 weeks i was on domican(sleeping pills) and relaxant tablets?
Trust me, I didnt enjoy those days.
Didnt sleep for 2wks straight, yes i mean 2 wks no BS
Heart beat was high and BP was rocket high
Even my GP was panicking, she's been seeing me since high school

Well, I remember her words..."I know you for so long, you're a very strong focused person, if you set your mind to release this person, you will make a comeback soon.....then she grabbed my wrist in a caring gesture.....FISH! I just exploded in the clinic...too touched.......imagine.

It's hard, you yeard her voice, her face keeps appearing everytime you close your eyes, but trust me, it's all worth it.
If I listen to my mates then, even the mamasan told me to let go, I wouldnt have to go to hell and back.

Be strong......

[technofreak]

Originally Posted by aczeta76

Sometimes it is strange for overseas long distance r/s... when u 1st part, you will think lovingly about her and try to hold on to your memories together and replay scene after scene.

Then as work set in and distance mellows the feelings, you suddenly feel an emptiness like I mean, u have no one to go and hug when u feel all warm and fuzzy about her and she has no one to lean on when she is in real need.

So... like some bros have told me before. THe passion will sizzle out if u dun see each other often and slowly, u will find that she is juz a memory...

Quite true bro...My long-distance r/s with a MM dates back many years too. We were apart for 2 years...Relying on constant phone-calling to keep our passion alive. It started to sizzle out until she came back recently...Now I'm fighting hard not to be emotionally-attached to her...

Upped ur points for your constructive contribution...


Cheers,
Techno

[machoman]

Originally Posted by DO_YOU_BJ

Basically it's very simple as long as you can take a neutral step back & look at everything.
I am sure u do not trust her 110% and from your confusion, can sense that there's an internal battle goin on within u......logic and circumstances tell you (A) but your heart tell you to look the otherway or give a benefit of doubt(B).....
...........

Trust me, its hard but its far less painful than to follow thru n see the actual end that will be filled with riddles and questions that can nvr be answered that'll be terrible.
Ever watched a movie or read a book with no ending and so many riddles it make your a complete blurr sotong?
Well, the feeling is a million times worse!

Excellent post, bro.

Very sound constructive advice given to a love-sick guy who can't see things objectively.

Cut your losses or there will be more emotional & financial losses.

[azzaro23]

Originally Posted by aczeta76

Bro,

It is tough but hey.. be strong lah.

Sometimes it is strange for overseas long distance r/s... when u 1st part, you will think lovingly about her and try to hold on to your memories together and replay scene after scene.

Then as work set in and distance mellows the feelings, you suddenly feel an emptiness like I mean, u have no one to go and hug when u feel all warm and fuzzy about her and she has no one to lean on when she is in real need.

Working for $$ makes us slave to time and we are not rich bros who can fly to china for weeks at one go, where got leave.

So... like some bros have told me before. THe passion will sizzle out if u dun see eachother often and slowly, u will find that she is juz a memory (like your previous love who have moved on without you)... the sweet memories remains but deep down, you know that you can no longer lie to yourself about a future for the both of you.

I am still thinking whether to let go now or to re-consider till I can find time to see her in Zhu Hai... letting go may be good for her since she will not have a false sense of security in Me.

All is fair in love so sometimes we win, sometimes we lose and sometimes we are in a damn daze and dunno shit.

With the distance apart not breathing in her shadows all the time maybe I am doing myself a favor to think really see if she really the one for me...

Without her the emotions trigger perhaps I can cool down more to evaluate the situation from a better view to see if this relationship is really worth keep pursing.

[aczeta76]

Rem... in this dog-eat-dog world (esp in china), we are the only one responsible for our own life.

No matter how you love her, dun make the mistake of wanting to run her life or else u will be chasing a dream.

Like I said, she is of a certain age so maybe she wants to settle down with you. Juz be sure you can afford her lifestyle.

Cheerios...

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Originally Posted by azzaro23

With the distance apart not breathing in her shadows all the time maybe I am doing myself a favor to think really see if she really the one for me...

Without her the emotions trigger perhaps I can cool down more to evaluate the situation from a better view to see if this relationship is really worth keep pursing.

A word of wisdom for you.
Your life has been normal for so many years without her.
You were living half yourlife without her presense.
I u could do it then, why cant u do it now.
See, being in denial is BAD!!!!! Been there done that.
When all ends, you dun know yourself anymore.....
1st, you prolly hate her for playing you out
2nd, you will be Fing yourself so being so stupid...you saw it, but yet you refuse to acknowledge it......
Was there bro........短痛不如长痛
Now you are very puzzled, you are filled wif WHAT IF WHAT IF....
No venture no gain, if i dun stay till the end how i know if she's really like that
That's call denial already bro