My Fillial Daughter

[Snuber]

Originally Posted by free

No longer have the big income of the past but still tried to maintain expenditure on kids, parents, cos she love them too much to let them worry/suffer.

Missed out on this part.

She's also being impractical. You earn more, you can spend more. You earn less, then you better spend within your limits.

Love them too much?? From what I see, she's driving herself & all of them to poverty or desperation via expressway.

[free]

Originally Posted by Snuber

Missed out on this part.

She's also being impractical. You earn more, you can spend more. You earn less, then you better spend within your limits.

Love them too much?? From what I see, she's driving herself & all of them to poverty or desperation via expressway.

Exactly what I told her. Sometimes I really can''t understand these TGs. BTW, her kids are with her ex-husband (and his new wife) and that could be why she did not want to stop her provision for them - for fear of losing them. Would not be easy to pull them out of International Sch, though, Once out of the Thai sch system, hard to get back in.

Anyway, I have no right to stop what she did. Cos I am not her husband though at one point, we did hope that I can be.

[free]

Originally Posted by thaiboy

Bro i wan to be like YOU....kekekek LOve one more time...before i same like POPE

Friend, the Pope dun cheong - we do. So cannot qualify, okay?

Originally Posted by free

.. ever since I opened my heart to love once again.

BTW, this was in the year 2000, when I decided that its time I move on from my one marital mistake.

[Snuber]

Originally Posted by free

Anyway, I have no right to stop what she did. Cos I am not her husband though at one point, we did hope that I can be.

That's why I say it's their own choice. It's a want on their part. Can't say I'm biased or bitter towards their decision, but rather respect their own choices.

Afterall, all of us are accountable for the choices we made right?

[siamcutey]

1. Is the Fillial Daughter, a stupid daughter?
2. Does Fillial Piety makes one do things to such an extent?

I have always been trying to find out the answer, till now, I still can't find the answer to it. And does any of you out there have the answer?

Maybe 1 case study as follow.
The WL every month makes money for her family sending back >100K to her family. At 1 point of time I did "condemn" the family because they know she is in the trade and yet still ask so much money from her. My "insult" was uncalled for, though it was indirect. But I think the message went across her. Our relationship deteriorated till I knew she will understand what I said one day. The only thing she can say is I don't understand her. Okay, thats fine with me

One day, she cried. Cried because the family asked her for an urgent sum of 200K. I was happy. Because the day she cried, meant she understand how the family treated her. Will you cry when you are happy in this case? I didn't console her nor did I gave her any snide remarks. And of course, I didn't offer any help too. I waited for her to tell me the story and why she cried. Why did she tell me when she said I didn't understand her. Because that is the time when she finally understood how her family treated her. Why did she tell me? She said she felt she can relate to me. Nevertheless, in the end, she is working her pussy off to pay the 200K, and since she chose it, she have to live with it. Why does she still want to pay off the debt? Love in this case. Love for the family. Though she is paying for her family, I believe in her mind, she knows what she is going to do next.

When the family "objected" to her working in the flesh trade, deep in their minds, they are thinking how much money they get to spend when their mouths are saying NO.

I remembered years back, this HK actress Cai Shao Fen told the press that she is no longer going to work to pay off the debts of her mother. Enough is enough was what she said. Over the years she was frustrated and overworked, all because to pay off debts, till one day she felt enough was enough. Love for her mother.

I realised one thing. To tell them is one thing. Insisting them to change is useless. One day, they will get to see the light. If they don't, thats their fate and choice they chose.

Behind every story, I always want to give it a good ending. But I realise good endings seldom happen in real life. Probably thats why authors prefer to write stories with a good and happy ending, to make readers happy


<<Together they lived happily ever after>>...............

SC

[Snuber]

Originally Posted by siamcutey

I have always been trying to find out the answer, till now, I still can't find the answer to it. And does any of you out there have the answer?

I may not have the answer you are looking for, but will try to provide some insights. Reason is because I had a situation which is very similar to yours. It may also coincide with a few bros'. But firstly, glad that you have at least cool down now, not filled so much with "hatred" for them.

1. Is the Fillial Daughter, a stupid daughter?
2. Does Fillial Piety makes one do things to such an extent?

The keyword here is "love". Love makes one do silly things. Still remember those occasions when we did something which seems silly or stupid to others, but it's love to us? Maybe something like skipping a meal or 2 so that the money can be saved up to buy that thing for your special someone? Or how about those late nights when your gf is hungry & you go to her place with what she wants to eat, but both of you stayed at both ends of SG?

[QUOTE]The only thing she can say is I don't understand her.[QUOTE]
Well, that's 1 common thing I heard whenever we start to argue. But when asked further to explain, she would just keep quiet. Maybe a sign that it's better to keep quiet, or maybe she just hates to admit we are correct?

[QUOTE]Love in this case. Love for the family. Though she is paying for her family, I believe in her mind, she knows what she is going to do next.[QUOTE]
If my guess is correct, she is STILL going to give them money every month. TGs or rather asians frown on disowning their own family. Also, it seems to me she's the sole provider. How many people can bear to see their own parents or siblings suffer?

I realised one thing. To tell them is one thing. Insisting them to change is useless. One day, they will get to see the light. If they don't, thats their fate and choice they chose.

I have to agree on this one. Eg, if you keep telling a fat person to lose weight, and buying all those food that will help him/her, it will still be useless if he/she still refuse to heed & just wants to keep doing the opposite.

End of the day, I just realised that the TGs I encountered are much closer than our own counterparts. Just seeing how they treasure their family ties can put some of us to shame. They can sacrifice their own happiness as long as their family is happy. Sad but true.

Their love for her bf will never be as strong as they have for their family. Of cos, this applies to most WLs. As for non-working girls, I don't foresee this problem.

Pain? Yes, I felt it. Now, I've left it behind as it's not good to have a heavy chain bound across your heart. Felt relieved after that. Have to understand that it's not anyone's fault that things have to turn out this way. It's just that we can't accept the way they are or their choices. It's also definitely not your fault if you are unable to help her financially. Until the day when she finally sits down with her family to discuss, things will never change.

Yes, I do still miss her though we have seperated. Maybe she has found another love to help her out. Perhaps she's working her pussy out all alone to support her family. I don't know. To me, it's better to let go since it's so painful. If she's meant to be yours, she will be back to you eventually, someday, somehow.

[free]

Originally Posted by Snuber

Their love for her bf will never be as strong as they have for their family. Of cos, this applies to most WLs. As for non-working girls, I don't foresee this problem.

I am not experienced with WLs per se, but from my own journeys with "normal" TGs (irregardless of their past), I think the keyword here is FAMILY. As I look back, I realised that they all draw a line between boyfriend and family. If you are her boyfriend, you are still not part of her family, until you get married. Then many things that you don't have the right to do now in their perspective (mostly concerning their lifestyle, habits, and other personal decisions), u will have much more say later.

So the key thing is that unless you are already planning and TAKING real steps to get married, the level of commitment from the TG is still a rather big variable. Of course even after marriage, there is still the possiblity of breakups but lower. Generally for a normal woman, if her husband does his part, she tends to be a good & faithful wife. Everyone of them gave me the impression that her husband will take No 1 place in her life, of course provided he also respects and loves her parents. And all of them seem to want to respect and love my parents too.

For example, I was upset with my mum last night for something she said (later she realised she made a mistake) and in the midst of our argument, I quit and called my tirak. Naturally I complained to her. Guess what? Instead of empathizing with me, she told me I cannot be angry with my mum or be rude cos she is my mum! Period! Even if my mum was the Kon-pit. Got me to Jai Yen Yen and then go talk to my mum again. My mum was upset intially that I called my gal to complain (she assumed that) but she sure had a nice surprise that I was nice to her immediately after putting down the phone. She asked and I confessed that my gal was the one who got me to cool down and I had promised her I will be nice to mum - mum was obviosly pleased. Perhaps it is a cultural thing after all

Maybe I am wrong, but these are my observations and also from my discussions with my tirak as we try to help each other understand more about the differences between our culture.

[Snuber]

Pai seh boss, this is a repost of my abovepost, in the correct context over here for easy reading.

Originally Posted by siamcutey

I have always been trying to find out the answer, till now, I still can't find the answer to it. And does any of you out there have the answer?

I may not have the answer you are looking for, but will try to provide some insights. Reason is because I had a situation which is very similar to yours. It may also coincide with a few bros'. But firstly, glad that you have at least cool down now, not filled so much with "hatred" for them.

1. Is the Fillial Daughter, a stupid daughter?
2. Does Fillial Piety makes one do things to such an extent?

The keyword here is "love". Love makes one do silly things. Still remember those occasions when we did something which seems silly or stupid to others, but it's love to us? Maybe something like skipping a meal or 2 so that the money can be saved up to buy that thing for your special someone? Or how about those late nights when your gf is hungry & you go to her place with what she wants to eat, but both of you stayed at both ends of SG?

The only thing she can say is I don't understand her.

Well, that's 1 common thing I heard whenever we start to argue. But when asked further to explain, she would just keep quiet. Maybe a sign that it's better to keep quiet, or maybe she just hates to admit we are correct?

Love in this case. Love for the family. Though she is paying for her family, I believe in her mind, she knows what she is going to do next.

If my guess is correct, she is STILL going to give them money every month. TGs or rather asians frown on disowning their own family. Also, it seems to me she's the sole provider. How many people can bear to see their own parents or siblings suffer?

I realised one thing. To tell them is one thing. Insisting them to change is useless. One day, they will get to see the light. If they don't, thats their fate and choice they chose.

I have to agree on this one. Eg, if you keep telling a fat person to lose weight, and buying all those food that will help him/her, it will still be useless if he/she still refuse to heed & just wants to keep doing the opposite.

End of the day, I just realised that the TGs I encountered are much closer than our own counterparts. Just seeing how they treasure their family ties can put some of us to shame. They can sacrifice their own happiness as long as their family is happy. Sad but true.

Their love for her bf will never be as strong as they have for their family. Of cos, this applies to most WLs. As for non-working girls, I don't foresee this problem.

Pain? Yes, I felt it. Now, I've left it behind as it's not good to have a heavy chain bound across your heart. Felt relieved after that. Have to understand that it's not anyone's fault that things have to turn out this way. It's just that we can't accept the way they are or their choices. It's also definitely not your fault if you are unable to help her financially. Until the day when she finally sits down with her family to discuss, things will never change.

Yes, I do still miss her though we have seperated. Maybe she has found another love to help her out. Perhaps she's working her pussy out all alone to support her family. I don't know. To me, it's better to let go since it's so painful. If she's meant to be yours, she will be back to you eventually, someday, somehow.

[Snuber]

Originally Posted by free

As I look back, I realised that they all draw a line between boyfriend and family. If you are her boyfriend, you are still not part of her family, until you get married. Then many things that you don't have the right to do now in their perspective (mostly concerning their lifestyle, habits, and other personal decisions), u will have much more say later.

Sadly, this is where most of the r/s breaks down. For WLs, the couple may or may not know when she can break away from her job due to many factors. If the guy is not strong emotionally, or the girl has found someone better or etc, they will never get past this stage. Or that the guy jao chuu....

So the key thing is that unless you are already planning and TAKING real steps to get married, the level of commitment from the TG is still a rather big variable.

Another factor would be "Is he the one for me?", "Can he really forgo my past?", "Can I really depend on this man?" etc

[free]

Originally Posted by Snuber

Sadly, this is where most of the r/s breaks down. For WLs, the couple may or may not know when she can break away from her job due to many factors. If the guy is not strong emotionally, or the girl has found someone better or etc, they will never get past this stage. Or that the guy jao chuu....

Guess this problem wouldn't exist with one who is not or no longer a WL. However I think the lady who is an ex-WL/FL tends to be more jealous and guarded against other women, which is not necessary bad. cos they may be more attentive and make sure others dun get the chance to do what they feel should their duty to do for the bf/hubby.

Originally Posted by Snuber

Another factor would be "Is he the one for me?", "Can he really forgo my past?", "Can I really depend on this man?" etc

Here really think the feeling/doubts are mutual. I too will ask "if she the one for me?" (in my case it is further compounded with "compared to the other 3?"), "can she believe that I really dun care about her past?", "can I really trust her to be faithful when someone else 'better' comes along?".

Ironically in my mind, "better = richer, more handsome" but she has a different yardstick altogether. We did actually discuss this issue and her reply was I am already "dee ti sut" as far as she is concerned and she has no reason to go on searching. I am already more than good enough for her. And I do feel the same about her. I dun allow myself to reconsider my decision to choose her anymore, cos she is also more than enough for me. Whatever is in the past is past, and we just will have to deal with any bits from the past if they rear their ugly heads. By now she is sure that I dun care about the past and I am sure that she don't want to return to the past.

I will tell the gal if she has a "past" that I too have my past which she may or may not know about. But that is not impartant cos it is what we do from now and beyond that is going to make or break the relationship. Whatever we tell each other about our past is done with the purpose of helping the other to understand some of our habits/behaviour/mentality and to pre-empt nasty surprises of some parts of the past shows up.

[LeDivorcee]

Been visiting a WL lately and yesterday she started to tell me the troubles in her family and cried... Make my heart soft, not that it is soft already after looking into her lovely eyes.

However all the reading makes me think twice about being a tirak with my WL I have been seeing a lot lately... Maybe I should take the approach of fuck and fuck off and try not to involve too much with her personal life...

Why trouble trouble until trouble troubles you???

[Snuber]

Originally Posted by LeDivorcee

Why trouble trouble until trouble troubles you???

If that's what you want to do, then it's fine. Just remember that there are always 2 sides to a coin, it only matters which side you are on.

[siamcutey]

Originally Posted by LeDivorcee

Been visiting a WL lately and yesterday she started to tell me the troubles in her family and cried... Make my heart soft, not that it is soft already after looking into her lovely eyes.

However all the reading makes me think twice about being a tirak with my WL I have been seeing a lot lately... Maybe I should take the approach of fuck and fuck off and try not to involve too much with her personal life...

Why trouble trouble until trouble troubles you???

So what happens if you don't read sammyboy?
Even a non WL also will have family problems and issues just that a WL have much more, that is why she is in it in the very 1st place.

SC

[ruhua]

Originally Posted by LeDivorcee

Been visiting a WL lately and yesterday she started to tell me the troubles in her family and cried... Make my heart soft, not that it is soft already after looking into her lovely eyes.

However all the reading makes me think twice about being a tirak with my WL I have been seeing a lot lately... Maybe I should take the approach of fuck and fuck off and try not to involve too much with her personal life...

Why trouble trouble until trouble troubles you???

Heart soft nevermind. Cock must not go soft. Whack harder. Piak piak piak!

[GiddlyGook]

Originally Posted by ruhua

Heart soft nevermind. Cock must not go soft.

One word for that. P-e-n-e-g-r-a. 350B at KS Pharmacy next to Robinsons Sukhumvit. Works like a charm but hot damn, makes the blood race and you sweat.