When Love & Hate Collide

[Coffeecans]

*You are dating me is it?*

These words rang non stop in my head. Was it really a date together? No. We didn't even start in the first place. Was I being too sensitive?

Things went on normally in school and Jane was mixing with the usual gang of hunks and babes. Well the only thing to look forward to was Saturday.

The weekday ended and I was full of energy on the Saturday morning.

Me: Mum, can I borrow some money from you? I'm going out with Jane today to cycle.

Mum: Jane? Ok ok! Here! Bring her back for dinner tonight? Remember to take her things ok? I hand washed for her already.

I nodded and left. Mum was really feeling generous today. In my hands were 2 $50 notes. She must have loved Jane so much.

I quickly changed and gel my hair with the economical "Good Look" hair gel and was well on my way.

Wonder what Jane will be wearing?

I was there early. Looking at the time lapse of people going to and fro the restaurant, everything seemed so jovial. Perhaps its the very thought of our first date together. I couldn't wait for Jane to be here.

2.30pm. Excited.

3.00pm. Excited.

3.30pm. Excited.

4.00pm. ?

At 4.30pm, I gave her house a call.

Maria: Hello?

Me: Hi Maria, Max here. Is Jane around?

Maria: Hi Max! Jane? She is at the doctor. She's not feeling well.

Me: I see. What time would she be back?

Maria: She went about an hour. Maybe a while more?

Me: Ok. Can I come over?

Maria: Sure Max.

Max: See you then Maria

Maria: See you Max.

What was this feeling about? I called home but mum said there was no phone ring at all.

I made my way to Jane's place and waited outside for her. I didn't want to enter her place without her around so I waited somewhere near.

530pm. No sight of her.

6pm.

630pm.

645pm. I saw a posh car stop at the distance and a familiar looking girl came out of the car with a bouquet of lilies on her hands. Beside her was a tall and dashing guy that looked pan-asian. They held hands together and she was smiling so gracefully.

As they walked, Jane noticed me at the corner and immediately loosen her hand with the guy.

Guy (Walter): What's wrong Jane?

Jane: Nothing dear. Wait here for me.

Walter: Sure.

Jane walked towards me.

Jane: Why are you here?

Me: I waited for you at East Coast since 2pm.

Jane: How come?

Me: Erm. We arranged it on msn remember?

Jane: Did we? Oh heavens! I think I remember now. Gosh I'm sorry. I wasn't feeling well.

Me: It's fine. Here you go.

I passed her the Isetan paperbag with her sports bra and ran off.

What was this feeling? Why did it feel like the world had become a black and white photo? I couldn't describe the feel, the agony. But who am I to judge yourself? I was not angry with Jane nor was I pissed or something. But it felt like snow from the insides of my heart. It felt as though the fluids in my blood were all being frozen. I ran and tripped, twisted my ankle with blood still oozing out. But it felt really numb. I limped myself pathetically out and hailed a cab back home where I locked myself in my room, no even knowing that the tiles in the living room right to my room were traces of blood.

Walter: Who's that shortie?

Jane: Just a friend Walter.

Walter: What kind of friend?

Jane: A common friend only Walter.

Walter: I see. Alright I have to go now. I call you when I reach home ok?

Jane: Sure Walter.

Walter gave Jane a kiss and waved goodbye.

Jane looked inside the paperbag and saw her sports bra all clean and nicely folded but there was another note in that bag.

On that note wrote: It's been really nice knowing you for an exact two years Jane. ^_^ Max

Jane paused.

My mum was slamming my door upon seeing the blood stained floor. Seeing that there was no reaction, she took the room keys and opened the door. She saw me burying myself in my pillows, weeping quietly.

Mum: Oh my god what happened?

Me: Nothing.

Mum: What happened to your legs?

Me: Nothing.

Mum: It's looking bad son. What happened?

Me: NOTHING!

I yelled and mum saw my tear filled face.

Mum came over and hugged me: It's alright son. Let me wash the wound first. My mum as a nurse and these things were nothing for her. But she said she is bring me to the sinseh for my twist and swollen ankle.

I still kept quiet about what happened and my mum did not ask more. Perhaps she knew that youngsters do like to have their privacy sometimes.

Jane did not know how and what to react. She just went home and switched on the computer, waiting to see if I was online.

On a typical Saturday evening, the chinese clinic was always full and it took me an hour for my ankle to be wrapped up like a bloated mummy's feet.

Mum: Rest well at home ok son?

It was already past 9pm when we reached home. I did not utter a single word except for apologizing to my mum for shouting at her. Likewise, I locked myself in my room and hugged my pillows.

The phone rang at 930pm and mum picked up the phone.

It was Jane.

Coffeecans Reads
http://sbf.directory/showthread.php?t=345351

[Skyboy1988]

Can feel the emotions that is building up..

[BMW69]

Yet another coffeecans sob story. camping

[gotnotime]

Now I also wanna stop writing and wait in anticipation for the next chapter liao..

[Coffeecans]

Mum: Hello?

Jane: Hi Aunt Jamie, is Max around?

Mum: Yes Jane but he locked himself in the room. Did anything happen? How was your day with him? He left very early today and waited in East Coast. He said he was very happy but he came back with blood all over the floor, and he injured and sprained his leg. He locked the door when I was back and said nothing but he was crying quietly in his room. What happened?

Jane paused.

Jane: I'm sorry Aunt Jamie, I totally forgot about the date as I was out seeing a doctor. And... he... saw me with my boyfriend.

Mum: *breathes hard* oh. i see. well then. Wait.

My mum shouted for me but I did not reply.

Mum: Think he is sleeping already. Perhaps I would tell him you called ok?

Jane: Thanks Aunt Jamie.

Mum: Sure.

My mum knocked on my door gently.

Mum: Son, you ok to talk?

Me: Not today mum. Let me quiet down please. I will come out when I feel like it.

Mum: Ok.

The door opened and there Mel was back. She was my elder sister and my mum gestured her to the corner and whispered to her what happened.

Mel: Let him be mum. Let him cool things down himself. There's no point in asking, it will make things worse. I will talk to him ok?

My sister knew me inside out. Even to the extent of knowing my email passwords and stuff. She knew that I have the habit of writing or venting my feelings online going by the name of 'paintmylove'.

No one knew about my online presence as this was the one place for me to pen down all my thoughts and feelings that no friends would know. There were only virtual people online to support or comfort me.

Only my sis knew about my blog.

But never did I know she would be the one to betray me when she got a call from Jane.


Coffeecans Reads
http://sbf.directory/showthread.php?t=345351

[Skyboy1988]

Desperate to read the next update..

[curiouslala]

Oh my..
Continuation pleaseee..

Luckily he just saw her n that guy hold hands, not kissing..
It'll hurt him more..

Kopi kor, your fans is all waiting!!!

[SammyNewbie]

Betrayal? Wow... this is quite a dramatic word. Anyway, story is making me emo >.<"

[Tootsies]

Sigh...
Life, none perfect... Nvr been..

Nice 1 TS...

[hunted]

true life?... If so its sooo drama.

[Coffeecans]

Mel and Jane were good friends ever since I knew Jane. Everytime she comes to my house, Mel and Jane could talk for hours as they had too many similarities with each other. Same taste, same hobbies and almost identical personalities.

Jane: Hi Mel.

Mel: Hi.

Jane: How's Max?

Mel: Not sure too. He had locked himself in the room.

Jane: I hope he is ok.

Mel: Maybe I guess. He must be writing on his blog right now to let out his feelings I guess. Its just his style. He's an introvert when it comes to these issues.

Jane: Can I have the blog please?

Mel: Well...

Jane: Please Mel. I just want to know that he is ok. He saw me with Walter today.

Mel: I know. Mum told me.

Jane: Please Mel. Tell me the blog add please.

Mel: Alright then but you need to promise not to let him know. No one knows about his blog other than me and himself.

Jane: Promise.

Mel whispered the blog address to Jane and she wrote it down into her diary.

Jane: Thanks Mel.

Mel: Well, hope things go well.

Jane: I hope too. Good night Mel.

Mel: Good night Jane.

Jane immediately typed out the address and it did bring her to 'paintmylove', where she spent the entire night reading. And there were just some posts that make her feel really bad. Never did she knew how much she meant to him.

And in almost every single post was the same ending.

Coffeecans Reads
http://sbf.directory/showthread.php?t=345351

[SammyNewbie]

I saw your face, in a crowded place...
And I don't know what to do~~~
Cause I'll never be with you.

Yay! I think I already pitch tent here.

*goes to check my subscribed thread list*

[SammyNewbie]

This was just a naughty thought that came to me when I was in the middle of my emo.

LOL, what happens when she reads the entry where Max PCC in the bra ar?

*must not wander forums like a ninja*

*must focus on stuff I need to do* XD

[Coffeecans]

Jane read the blogs non stop. She didn't know how much she meant to him. She didn't know. To her Max was like a buddy and there was all it was to her.

There were just some pieces that made her heart soften.

"She who brings Spring everytime I see her"
Seeing her smile lights up myself, for she looks so beautiful; she had stole my soul. I would just give everything up to spend just a single moment with her, even if it means only seconds.

I know. This are just mere thoughts. Who would even notice a toad like me. I am just a nobody that none would notice. For me, seeing her was like watching a damsel. I can only dream. Only dream.

"The Happiest Day in My Life"
Yes! She had agreed to go cycling together. Never would I expect to be hearing this. Yes! Yes! Yes! *Kicks legs and swings arms* I'm the happiest and most fortunate guy in the whole wide world! Right I know its nothing special but the very thought of spending time with her is already enough for me. Even if I were to die the next day, I would be satisfied. I would be. But why am I feeling that it may not be as per what I plan? Why do I have a bad feeling about tomorrow? Perhaps its just me. Do you know what? Sometimes I really wished I could just pour out my inner feelings to her? But I knew its just impossible.

I know. This are just mere thoughts. Who would even notice a toad like me. I am just a nobody that none would notice. For me, seeing her was like watching a damsel. I can only dream. Only dream.

Jane waited, for she would want to know what Max was thinking when he waited and saw her together with her boyfriend. But there were no updates when she kept on pressing the refresh button. It was already 5am in the morning. Jane yawned and stretched her arms. She decided to just give it a last try when she saw a new post...


Coffeecans Reads
http://sbf.directory/showthread.php?t=345351

[pussywillow]

I keep pressing the refresh button to check for updates of your post...