Should I let her continue to work in a bar

[Mephistophilus]

Originally Posted by EtherC

If you wanna buy a car, just go to a normal dealership and get one. Don't go and get a jalopy that needs an engine overhaul. An engine is what makes a car tick , character is what makes a person tick.

A lot of chaitaos like to think they are some kick ass romeo who can fix/change "their" FL with character defects. Unfortunate reality bites, two words: Fat Hope

Well. that should be the sensible way.

But some diehards will die trying, only when it seems like a lost course will they give up. Thus, my earlier post was served.

[dandandandandan]

Originally Posted by kenneth38

Hi,

I got to know this lady sometime last year and in April this year, we got hooked up.

She has a day job, but moonlights in a bar getting tips for drinks.

She will most likely be out of the country by end of next year or even earlier before that.

We r pretty close, and have gone very much attached to each other, although we only meet twice a week, as she has some off days per week.

My problem now is I want to ask her to stop working in the bar, as I really don't feel comfortable that my chick is hanging around other guys. The pub is fairly decent with not much touchy feely, if at all, but I'm still uncomfortable.

I know that she feels happy working there, as you get to make some extra cash, chat and drink.

Should I suck it up, seeing that she's leaving in a year's time or less ?

Should I ask her to stop completely ?

Should I ask her to reduce her frequency ?

Deeply troubled.

Where she is from? That will determine her culture and thinking.

[kenneth38]

Originally Posted by dandandandandan

Where she is from? That will determine her culture and thinking.

PRC.

Wow, didn't know this thread is on-going.

She's back working @ the pub again, and I just suck it up and avoid the pub.

I trust her and don't think she will cheat. But since I've cheated, I'm the more insecure person in this relationship. Karma.

I guess I have to take the emotional chips off the table and look for another backup.

Otherwise, like 1 bro said, try and influence her to quit on her own. This could be tough to pull off, as the pub is also one of her small circle of friends and an outlet to relax in SG. So if she stops, all her focus will be on me. In this current arrangement, I still get to scout around for a standby, much as I'm unwilling to, as I'm fairly 'poisoned' by her.

End of the day, can't get too emotionally involved, at least, must try.

[kenneth38]

Originally Posted by Mephistophilus

Well. that should be the sensible way.

But some diehards will die trying, only when it seems like a lost course will they give up. Thus, my earlier post was served.

Haha, but this lady is not an FL, just a normal WP with a part time in a pub.