My dark side ...

[SEAJ]

Originally Posted by EtherC

..Guys everytime you feel down , look at Nick Vujicic and you'll run out of excuses to be sad. If he can make it so can you.

Sorry, I don't really agree with this.

YES, if one is looking for inspiration, but to me, the worst thing anybody can do is to compare with successful others when down.

You do that and you just feel all the more depressed whilst thinking "even somebody like him can make it, what a total failure I am."

You must instead always compare yourself with what you were yesterday, last year, last decade etc. and savour YOUR success to achieve greater successes!

And to TS and others feeling desperate: Right now, re-examine your own life, recall whatever successes you've had in your life no matter how big or small; add them all up and figure out what were the components for the successes, and use this knowledge you now have ABOUT YOURSELF to rebuild your life.

Useless/exercise in frustration to try to emulate others when you ain't got (or not got in the case of nick) ALL the privileges/quirks of character/socio-economic standing etc of the role model you're trying to emulate.

Comparing yourself to Nick, LKY, other inspirational leaders etc when one is down will only compound your feelings of inadequacy. These are INSPIRATIONAL role models - nothing more nothing less.

SEAJ

[orangeproud]

I just feel that TS is lack of love from family, peer and surrounding environment to give him moral support to live well. Know that he is coming from a broken family, trapped in this unhealthy environment for too long is mental torture and drain, this I can understand as I am in this circumstances. When you are down, nobody really genuine to care for you, some even put you down. At work, encountered nasty boss, double face colleagues who pretended to help you but sabotaged you behind. Outside of work, all the people is busy with their own live, they strive to be successful, they dun bother about you since you are not beneficial to them. In Singapore, the environment is like this.

For Nick Vujicic, I also very admire him due to his strong determination to survive despite of his disability. His strong determination to live well & never give up attitude, I believe is the love & encouragement from his family, friends and many people he has encountered along the way has inspired him to live well. He is blessed to have meet lot of people who give him lot of love & support despite his disability. Even his own parents never give up on him despite he was born without limbs, they still showered with him lot of love, they did very best to keep him in the mainstream school system & give him every opportunity to live to the fullest. And he is born in Australia, which is a friendly environment for the handicapped, less prejudices on handicapped, more opportunities for them. If you think Nick Vujicic is born in Singapore, the fate may not the same anymore.

I just believe every of the human need love & acceptance from his family, friends, loved one & society to let him have the determination to live well regardless of unfavorable circumstances, they will still bite the bullet & struggle through out the odd bcos of the love & moral support he has received and he sees it as a pillar of support to live on.

May this society is more tolerance and more support & love is given to those less privilege. I doubt sor

[SEAJ]

Originally Posted by orangeproud

.........
I just believe every of the human need love & acceptance from his family, friends, loved one & society to let him have the determination to live well regardless of unfavorable circumstances, they will still bite the bullet & struggle through out the odd bcos of the love & moral support he has received and he sees it as a pillar of support to live on.

May this society is more tolerance and more support & love is given to those less privilege. I doubt sor

Sorry, but the sad fact of the matter is that the world is just too practical nowadays and especially in our part of the world. And even family etc have their limits as to the amount of "care" they can actually give even to loved ones.

And the worst response to this sad state of affairs is for one to then just go "Oh woe is I." Forgeddaboutit, get over it that you ain't got "love and moral support" - most of us don't get enough of this either, and like I said, there is a limit to everything, every "love and caring" etc.

And hate to point this out - but I also see TOO MANY who takes bad advantage of other's love and caring! That instead of realizing that others have gone way beyond what is expected, these recipients of other's largesse will instead expect and even demand more and more. Sheesh!

You're in the dumps, first stop feeling sorry for yourself, pick yourself up, figure out the YOUR next step and Just Do It!

SEAJ

[orangeproud]

Hi SEAJ

I like your statement " you're in a dump now, first stop feeling sorry for yourself, pick yourself up." Indeed every one of us have our down period, some are fortunate to have family & friend to support them, whereas some dun have & tend to over indulge in self pity ness & bitterness.

I have a friend who has depression & insomnia. She took one pill of medicine to in the end took ten pills at one time to have a good night sleep, until in later part, medicine is totally useless to her & used electroconvulsive therapy to cure her, but it has a lot of side effect like short term memory loss. What I am trying to say this, when you are sick, you must take medicine but dun over rely or over consume it, once your body addicted to it, it is harmful. My friend took so much medicine that she looks so blurred. You can tell from her outlook her mental status is no good.

Exercise is a good way to help us release stress and to feel more positive. Take food like fish which contains omega-3 fatty acids like mackerel, salmon & tuna. Dark chocolate, green tea, yogurt, whole grains brown rice, bananas & etc are good food fighting depression as it help body to release natural feel good chemical

The more we feel down the more we should excercise.

[178noobnoob]

I guess the way to counter your issue will be keep yourself busy. There's time when you feel really lonely, maybe you can learn something new like cook new food, new sports or even new hobby.

[EtherC]

No one likes to be around negative people who keep saying "why bother", "the world is unfair", "this is no good, people are evil". It simply repels people and that's why some of you are lonely. And mostly people are hardly 1 dimensional characters to be classified as wholly evil or wholly good. That only exists in fairy tales.

The world is not going to change for you, your boss is not going to change for you, no one owes you a living and if someone steps on you its because you allow them to.

We can externalize all our problems and play the blame game on society, family friends and fate or we can look inward take control and ask ourselves how we can do better each day.

If you feel even sadder looking at Nick Vujicic its because you're feeling jealous & thinking negatively. Stop thinking the "Why" & start thinking the "how".

Why I posted is because I care , not to condemn. I dun claim to be able to emphatise fully with those of you in depression but know that even strangers can care. And know that not all of us are unfamiliar with what "suffering" is.

Like some of you I came from poverty, started working young and saw myself and my siblings through school. Were we looked down upon when we were poor? Of course we were and sometimes even wronged so I took a stand worked hard and gained respect.Was I strange kid in school? I was, but I reveled in my uniqueness and formed my own clique with other non popular kids. Have I been betrayed before? Yes I have been and by people who were close, so I just learned to be less forthright with people until they prove they are worthy of my trust. Do I have health problems, yes I have so I try to eat healthy and keep active. Do I always get what I want?No, so I learn how to be content but never forgetting to keep improving.

Most of us have problems, and its normal that we fail at at times. The truly one problem that matters is if we give up. Sam made some good points about setting many goals. It may not be apparent but happiness from getting that material item eg a BMW lasts only a short while. So we have to keep improving and setting new goals so that we can have doses of happiness to sustain us.

[PrincessPris]

Originally Posted by EtherC

No one likes to be around negative people who keep saying "why bother", "the world is unfair", "this is no good, people are evil". It simply repels people and that's why some of you are lonely. And mostly people are hardly 1 dimensional characters to be classified as wholly evil or wholly good. That only exists in fairy tales.

The world is not going to change for you, your boss is not going to change for you, no one owes you a living and if someone steps on you its because you allow them to.

We can externalize all our problems and play the blame game on society, family friends and fate or we can look inward take control and ask ourselves how we can do better each day.

If you feel even sadder looking at Nick Vujicic its because you're feeling jealous & thinking negatively. Stop thinking the "Why" & start thinking the "how".

Why I posted is because I care , not to condemn. I dun claim to be able to emphatise fully with those of you in depression but know that even strangers can care. And know that not all of us are unfamiliar with what "suffering" is.

Like some of you I came from poverty, started working young and saw myself and my siblings through school. Were we looked down upon when we were poor? Of course we were and sometimes even wronged so I took a stand worked hard and gained respect.Was I strange kid in school? I was, but I reveled in my uniqueness and formed my own clique with other non popular kids. Have I been betrayed before? Yes I have been and by people who were close, so I just learned to be less forthright with people until they prove they are worthy of my trust. Do I have health problems, yes I have so I try to eat healthy and keep active. Do I always get what I want?No, so I learn how to be content but never forgetting to keep improving.

Most of us have problems, and its normal that we fail at at times. The truly one problem that matters is if we give up. Sam made some good points about setting many goals. It may not be apparent but happiness from getting that material item eg a BMW lasts only a short while. So we have to keep improving and setting new goals so that we can have doses of happiness to sustain us.

I agree with everything you said, and also with many others too. There is just one problem. For a person in depression (i don't mean all coz every case is unique), the mind is in a very negative state. It is extremely difficult to think positive. It is difficult to even stop dwelling on the "whys".

Everyone has different mental capacity. You may be able to control your thoughts and be positive, and not dwell in failures, we can't. Just because we do/don't do it doesn't mean we want/don't want to do it. It's more like we can't do/stop it without proper help.

Depression has to be acknowledged as an illness, not a phase in life.

[SEAJ]

Originally Posted by orangeproud

..... whereas some dun have & tend to over indulge in self pity ness & bitterness...I have a friend who has depression & insomnia. ....Exercise is a good way to help us release stress and to feel more positive. Take food.....

YES - exercise is a perfect way TO START on the road to recovery!
Everybody can exercise anywhere! Even just jumping up and down anywhere and even if you are physically-disabled, for sure there are some kind of exercise you can AND should do!
Start off doing this, concentrate on doing it AND steer your mind AWAY from your problems! Set exercise goals to discipline yourself AND your mind, and before you know it, you can use the positive vibes you will feel to conquer your other demons!

Originally Posted by EtherC

No one likes to be around negative people ....
Like some of you I came from poverty, started .....No, so I learn how to be content but never forgetting to keep improving.

Most of us have problems, and its normal that we fail at at times. The truly one problem that matters is if we give up. ..

I do like your positive attitude in face of adversity. My hat's off to you!

Originally Posted by PrincessPris

... There is just one problem. For a person in depression (i don't mean all coz every case is unique), the mind is in a very negative state. It is extremely difficult to think positive. ..Depression has to be acknowledged as an illness, not a phase in life.

Yes, PROFESSIONALS are many times required to properly deal with some cases.

One thing I notice/am glad about, is that TS - and some others here - are actually trying to reach out/want to get better. The crucial part towards any cure is first the realization that one is in deep doo-doo and require help/intervention etc. Hopefully some of our suggestions will help to get TS out of his funk, but if not, yes, go to professionals as mental illness IS an actual illness too.

Good luck to TS and to those of you with problems!
SEAJ

[PPGirl]

Everyone goes thru different stages of life.
Some may have a smooth journey while some may not.

Seriously like what some bros have mentioned, no one can help u unless u willing to give it a try to step out the situations u r in.

I was in n out of depression many times. Was under medications. Shut myself out from frds, living in my own world. Like what u say, beside going to work n home, there is no where i can go. Simply no interest in anything. Broke up n patch back with my ex many times way before Year 2004. Since then i dun believe in guys anymore until i met my other half 2.5 yrs ago.

If u really have no frds whom u can confide in, talk to a counsellor. At least a person or some1 whom u can confide ur problems to. Rather than keep all d problems to urself.

When u choose to go raw with fls, u should know d consequences. Many want the shiokness but dun think of d consequences. Some say "aiya do liao then decide what to do". By then do u think its abit too late? Unless u r 1 that dun treasure ur life then there is nothing i can say.

I believe many of us here faced with difficulties at work.
Its like after a day of work, what u going to do to make u feel better n relax? For me, my way is have a gd slp n tomorrow will be a brand new day.

Dun ask urself why is d world treating u this way. Why ur boss treat u like dat. Why is ur life become like this? Instead u should ask "HOW" I can improve my life. How i can be successful in life. Make it happen. Dun like ur job? Find a new job then b4 u quit.

[今晚打老虎.]

please see a psychiatrist.. you might have borderline personality disorder...
it is actually quite common in today's society...

[solarflare]

Originally Posted by PrincessPris

I agree with everything you said, and also with many others too. There is just one problem. For a person in depression (i don't mean all coz every case is unique), the mind is in a very negative state. It is extremely difficult to think positive. It is difficult to even stop dwelling on the "whys".

Everyone has different mental capacity. You may be able to control your thoughts and be positive, and not dwell in failures, we can't. Just because we do/don't do it doesn't mean we want/don't want to do it. It's more like we can't do/stop it without proper help.

Depression has to be acknowledged as an illness, not a phase in life.

very very well said, very good post.

alot of ppl have wrong understandings of ppl in depression.

[Donrico]

"一念天堂 一念地狱" -A single thought can lead one to heaven or hell.

[RealTalk]

maybe go to the gym?

sometimes you need to transfer your feelings to the iron

[orangeproud]

Hi OMG3344

So, how r u recently? Still feeling weak? It is normal, sometimes when we are depressed, we r in doubt with ourselves, in doubt of we can do this or do that, but if we din try, we never know. How far can we reach. Go for running, sweat yourself out, vent your frustration out by doing some exercises, u well feel great!

Hope u r well! Dun think too much. Take care

[SEAJ]

All the best medicines in the world is not going to work, the same with all the support/love/care from others UNLESS one makes up one's mind to actually do something about ANY problem!

TS has at least recognized his situation, he's now just gotta start to pick himself up IMHO.

SEAJ