my affair with my sis in law

[seowlang]

Originally Posted by sennheiser

bro, tremendous respect to you. I can't imagine being in your situation. I get mildly jealous when my gf's classmate sits too close to her. I'll be staring daggers at him!

Can't offer much advise to you as much has been said by everyone else. My take: count your blessings from time to time. You will realise that you have much to be grateful for and much more to live for.

To be jealous is human Bro.

Cheers!

Originally Posted by Rain-Men

Bro SL, have read all the threads posted so far and all I can say you really love her very much...so much so that when the love turns hate...it's pretty scary..like what's happening down. So much love will give u so much hate..and vice versa...Newton's law of motion. :-)

There's no better medicine than time and only time can dilute the emotions. Take your time to do it...think about other things when u guys are having dinner...focus your mind on other interests....if u still mindful..perhaps "siam" 25% to 50% of dinners each month. Hope that helps...come on suck it in bro...time to let go...

Bro, u read wrongly. I don't hate J at all.

[reflexk]

Move on Bro..
You asked her to behave normally. She is tried as much as she can.
She has no reason to spite you or anything of that sort. Her email bares all her emotions. She is trying hard to move on. And by being unable to behave normally (well, you have to force yourself to), you are only making it harder for her (it is harder for her than for you anyway, so don't make it even harder).
Anyways, you cant end up together. You know it. She knows it. We all know it. Then why not cherish all the good times u had together, and wish her the best, and try your best to help her have a good life?

[reflexk]

btw, I might be an ass to be asking this, but
1) Guess she wasn't a virgin. How was her sex life before you? Have you guys ever discussed it?
2) Apart from the first time, cruise, airport roleplay, and her B'Day in hotel, did you guys have sex? If so, how often did u have it?
3) Was the B'Day sex in hotel you guys' last (till now :P)?

[seowlang]

Originally Posted by MugenX

Bro TS, after reading the stories by other TS and I must say that your stories really is thru soul and heart unlike some other bro TS. But since mistake have already been make, just take it as a painful lesson and life still goes on. The world still rotating and time still past. But if time can really go back, I only hope that you won't choose the route you once taken and think of the consequences first before any commitment is being make so as to reduce the damage to it minimum. In any point of time whereby you really need an audience, you can pm me and I will be glad to be your listener.

thanks bro.

very often in life, we always think about going back in time, sometimes to reminisce, other times to correct a mistake. in my case it is both. if i could go back in time, i wouldnt want to walk this path to avoid the pain and sufferings we have caused to ourselves.

[seowlang]

Originally Posted by reflexk

btw, I might be an ass to be asking this, but
1) Guess she wasn't a virgin. How was her sex life before you? Have you guys ever discussed it?
2) Apart from the first time, cruise, airport roleplay, and her B'Day in hotel, did you guys have sex? If so, how often did u have it?
3) Was the B'Day sex in hotel you guys' last (till now :P)?

No, i didnt take away her first time. i didnt want to discuss her sex life before me because i thought it wasnt relevant? we did talk about our sex lives and partners.

besides those few times i mentioned here, we did it quite often especially after her bday. so, the bday wasnt the last time we made out.

[seowlang]

dear all,

i have already given all the updates i have till date. guess i dont have much more to say except needing just a little bit more time to heal all the wounds. thanks for everything.

out of sight, out of mind. i always feel that im recovering, until i see J. anyway, J is something i can never avoid. i guess i will see her till the day i die.

the last bit is probably something i have not said here. J and I are music lovers and we shared many songs, new and old ones from all genres. as and when, we would always give each other a tinkle on a new song or a song we would like to sing together.

on a random basis, i guess i will post links here should i come across one from time to time. let me start off with this one.. J's all time favourite Celine Dion song. u guys and girls have been great to say the least. hope u like this song too.




yours truely,
sl

[FarAway]

Originally Posted by seowlang

dear all,

i have already given all the updates i have till date. guess i dont have much more to say except needing just a little bit more time to heal all the wounds. thanks for everything.

out of sight, out of mind. i always feel that im recovering, until i see J. anyway, J is something i can never avoid. i guess i will see her till the day i die.

Bro seowlang, well a lot of bros have pointed out that all you need is time. J is trying to move on, and so are you. Its the best way to put things behind by moving forward. So, while the relationship didn't end the way you desired, accept it and GIVE YOURSELF TIME to understand that the path to recovery isn't going to be THAT SMOOTH. All the constant family gatherings and interactions etc will have a part to play, so dont need to mind fuck yourself, cuz you need ONLY TIME.

Yes as long as J is still your wife's sis, you will keep seeing her. BUT THE DIFFERENCE IS IN TIME TO COME, YOUR FEELINGS WILL NUMB WHEN YOU SEE HER. You will no longer feel guilt, anguish, heartache and all that. Cuz both of you will have long accepted the fact that things (from a macro picture) ENDED WELL. It's an impossible relationship and it stays that way, period.

Keep your mind busy with healthy doses of exercise and activities, rather than brood over J..

[vaks]

Hi Seowlang

Thanks for sharing.. I read all your postings, and couldn't help shedding a tear or two when J wrote that letter. All her sorrow, helplessness, bitterness.. I can see them all, when reading between the lines. I've been in her situation myself too, and admire her guts to give up something that gave her true joy and meaning of life.

Having seen all the useful advices, tips, and well-wishes that both you and J will be able to heal with time and move on with life, I doubt there's anything from my side you've haven't heard yet.. But I still wish you and J all the best from now on, and be happy with whatever life has got left to offer.

I remember watching the old movies with one of them citing the following ...

不在乎天长地久　只在乎曾经拥有

Ten years on, I still have the scar from the painful relationship, but thinking back, there were also many wonderful memories which define exactly what joy really means...

Given a choice, I would give up everything to relive those moments once again..

Cheers

[seowlang]

thanks bro Faraway and Vaks for your kind words..

i remember much earlier on, a bro disturbed me about being 'wa dee' (andy lau) cos i rode a bike. actually there is a song i like alot from him and do sing quite often in ktv till today..

not sure if anyone heard this before and likes it? my all time favorite..

[civic27]

[hero_]

Bro SL,

One thing u will be surprised... When it comes to matters of heart and feeling, women can surprisingly jam brake or put a clean closure a lot better than men. Probably, because they come to face reality a lot better and a lot more willing to take responsibility. It's an impossible thingy from the start, she's just trying to not deepen any damage or scars. And not Lose more ppl, who are just as important if not more, including ur wife and her parents. If u truly want her to be happy, not lose her family and parents, u have to let her go.

Time willllll heal. And u should seek a marriage counsellor... Lesser the pain.

[Fathick]

Very good read...

[walan]

Originally Posted by seowlang

On that very saturday night, I received an sms from J. it read..
J: I have sent u an email. pls read it. If u respect me, pls do not call or sms me back. I will call u when im ready. gd nite.


Bros (and a small number of sisters), I had thought for a while how i should relate what J wrote to me. in the end, think its best i give the email as it is. I have copy and paste the email below. except for the undersigned name, nothing was changed.
there was an attachment with the email, its our song. if u want to know exactly how i felt that night, u may want to click on this link before reading below.



++++++++++++++++++++


Dear,

It took me a very long time to decide to write this to you. I know I can never say this to you face to face. Im sorry dear. As I am writing this, I am listening to our song, 愛, 很簡單.
It has been 7 months since we are together. I love you deeply and I believe you know it. You are the best thing that happened to me. I have never felt so at ease with another man, never been so immense in laughter and happiness. There was never a dull moment with you.. even when you are sleeping I just love to lie next to you and look at you. Your smell, your breath, your everything. During these few months, I have experienced the happiest moment of my life... and pain as well.

You want to know why I always keep looking at you and not speak a word? Cause ever since we started, I knew it will end some day. I want to have a good look at you, because I don’t know when will be the day that I can never see you up close again, cheek to cheek, eye to eye, like all couples do. I want to be able to see your face as and when I want to do it in my mind. The way when you are laughing, telling me jokes or making fun of me, when you are happy, even when you are sad or stressed up with work, or even when you have your eyes closed and asleep. I want to remember everything about you that I have visuals of. I’d never want to forget you.

Thank you so much for all these times while we are together. You have showered me with love, care and concern, time, devotion and lots of gifts and surprises. I know it is not easy for you during these months too. At times I tried to put myself in your shoes, and try feeling the difficult position you are in. It must have been very hard to lie to my sis ever so often, to find time and energy to meet me. I know you are extremely stressed out at work and even though you are drained out after a long day’s work, you found time for me. I am really sorry for putting you through this… I really do.

Dear, I am also sorry that I have lied to you many times… Lying that I am happy the way it is now. Lying that its fine for my bf to be heading home everyday but its never to me. Lying that not having you around on weekends cause you have to keep my sis company is fine. Lying to my friends that my boyfriend is always busy and unable to attend dinners, drinks etc. together with them. Lying that I am very busy with work that I can’t meet up with you. Lying that everything is ok.

You asked if I have changed… Yes I think I have. I have changed my perspectives of life. I know we can never be together eventually and I may never find another man like you in my life. Thus, I choose to work and only in work can I get myself emotionally and mentally detached from our problems.

It is painful, very painful to me that I am not able to see the future of us being together. I do not know how you see it because both of us often refuse to accept reality. And the reality is, you are married to my sis and I can never, ever be with you. Dear… I think these few months are already long enough for us to be in this way. It is a chapter of my life that I will never ever forget. Please.. Let us remain as what we are.. you as my brother in law and I as your sis in law.

We may not have a chance to be together this live but if people do get reincarnated, I want to marry you and be with you in all our future lives… for better or for worse… I love you.

Yours,

+++++++++++++++++++++


I didnt cry after reading the letter. I wept.

bro, i feel the pain.... am tearing up....

[reflexk]

Sorry to dig this thread up - to a good extent driven by curiosity (as someone who was following this thread closely), and a bit by concern.
Bro TS - how is your relationship with your SIL now?
Mind giving us some updates?

[michelle16]

wow man, this is one of the emotional stories here on sammyboyforum, although it's hard to do so buttt, just remember to make tomorrow a better one for the people around you