How do you guys deal with Perimenopause wives??? big headache, no sex no appreciation

[Khiampak]

Originally Posted by cbkia222

I am not going to waste time doing things I deem as hopeless 😞

I LOVE YOUR THIS FACE. HAHAHA.
I AM GOING TO KEEP IT AS A SOUVENIR. HAHAHA.

[dodgekenji]

Bro I am going through the stage you going through. Been sexless for months and I have not been talking to her and she is not talking to me too. I just feel like this is going to an end road

Originally Posted by cbkia222

Hi guys, i want to ask you all a serious question:

For those who are married and have spouses in their 40s, how do u deal with your wives who are going through perimenopause?

For my background, married 10 yrs/ 2 kids / stay landed . Maid to handle all the kids activities.

Wife and I both work ( i'm in regional sales, travel monthly and when i'm in sg, either WFH or just office meetings)

Money is not really an issue at home, but wife has started to act out last year, either being over bearing on my kids ( this sick that sick) and i'm always the problem.

Ohh yes, no more sex ( as usual, tired and shit, been already years) and i have given up initiating intimacy.

For me now, i just doing everything to give my kids the best childhood and life. My wife, i tried doing the " usual textbook stuff", ie date nights, 1 day a week just to her ( i get my maid to settle my kids), but usually end up fighting cos she wants to go home and thinks my maid cannot take care of the kids

She has been boarder line nit picking on my maid on everything ( laundry not done on time, food not up to standard, etc) and i've always been trying to mediate things ( my maid is awesome with my kids and i trust)

We also have support from my parents side since my kids were young ( my parents gladly help out whenever they can )

I thought i was going crazy and it was affecting my heath and workuntil i suddenly read up on perimenopause symptoms and everything matches:

The anxiety on everything, fatigue , moodyness ( also no sex)

Anyway, sex part, thats why i'm here on SBF more often than ever ( from GL lor 18 houses) to recently SNS's girls and also ivanka's/ elite69s euro girls!
Plus i'm spending a lot of other russian escorts.

Its definitely not healthy but somehow its helping my mental health and i'm able to just be a better person at home for my kids. If it helps me think better, work better to do more sales, earn more money for my kids, its worth spending on.

To see appreciation and kindness from these escorts ( yes i know this is boarderline gongtao, i've been gongtaoed previously by thai FLs, need to pay for car insurance back home etc).

i dont know if the rest of my life will be like this, the escorts whom i've spoken to ( i bao-ed a few for overseas trips), said sex is important and they said why stay married if all this is gone. Divorce is out of question now as i've seen what it does to young children.

I believe its just a perimenopause issue but wife denies everything and i'm always the problem. Told her off once that she didnt have to do any shit at home or worry about the kids ( i came from operations and i like to plan out everything smoothly to ensure process if smooth).

There is a limit to how much FLs can bring ( yes cumming inside/ on these Fls are awesome for the moment), but i just need some appreciation

One of my friend's recommended Sugar babes, went to see a few, fucking SG girls think their pussies golden, cheaper to go bring a russian escort to phuket and bang her brains out for 2 days than to support one of these local sugarbabes.

Any of you guys going through the same thing? How do u deal with this?

Thank you in advance

[dodgekenji]

We talked about it b4 and then agreed to once a week then once every 2 weeks and then kept giving excuses! She said she does not want so I asked if she does it herself. She said yes sometimes. I was like……wtf. Of course we married because we loved each other, now what do you think.

I don’t believed it’s her body issue just feeling that she no longer. Anyway it quite sian that she is not talking to me and I don’t feel like talking to her also. She watch her phone and I watch mine.

Maybe someone can teach me how to get the resentful feeling away. I have no one to talk to.





QUOTE=fallen11;24213389]I believe its just a perimenopause issue but wife denies everything and i'm always the problem. - slowly sit down with her, show her the issue. talk calmly, dont scare her. Let her know it’s a normal thing and she's not crazy or what. Just need to accept it and manage it. Else everyone around her will be the ones suffering. better yet, bring her to consult a specialist on such women issues (not a mental health doctor! more like a gynecologist).

Manage the hormonal changes / swings. There are some foods she can try to help manage that. Foods rich in magnesium, Vitamin D, etc. Banana, nuts, dark chocolate. Buy for her to eat it daily and monitor her mood. See if it improves.

dont think you marry for sex only. No sex with wife, but u get to fuck young beautiful girls outside somemore with frequent business travel to escape from family haha. Its a very good deal.

anyways, whats the daily rate to book a russian escort to bring overseas?[/QUOTE]

[dodgekenji]

How do you endure. Don’t you feel resentful against her. We are not even hugging and touching each other or holding hands. I am trying to get through this stage of being revengeful

Originally Posted by Spymaster2

Hi bro,



Read your candid sharing. My wife is currently going through perimenopause and it’s not fun for me and my 2 kids I tell you. But at least my wife knows she is going thru that and not in denial. But even before this, the sex has stopped right after my second kid was born and it has been many many years since the dry spell started. Thank god there are so many MLs around to keep me balanced and sane hahaha.
I can totally relate to your no love/appreciation situation. Had so many major arguments with her and things just cannot be patched up but going downhill. If not for my kids I would have divorced her already so that I can be happier living my own life.

[dodgekenji]

Originally Posted by Spymaster2

You’re welcome bro.
Do you drink? Perhaps we can chat more over some wine/whisky and share our misery and the good sbf stuff Lol

Good to know there is an invite. Open to others

[Khiampak]

Originally Posted by dodgekenji

How do you endure. Don’t you feel resentful against her. We are not even hugging and touching each other or holding hands. I am trying to get through this stage of being revengeful

Grown-ups acting like kids in school.
You don't touch me, I don't touch you.
You don't smell my dick, I don't smell your pussy that kind of shit. HAHAHA.

[cbkia222]

hi Bro,

you're not alone in this .. other bros also in the same situation.

Right now, for majority of us, due to the children, so we just have to endure.

But my opinion is, try not to get sucked into the " black hole" of negativity.

This one can really kill you ( emotionally/ mentally)

your own well being as priority and do what it takes to keep yourself happy so that you can ( if u have kids) be there for your children.

As for your wife, people have said try communication,

with women, communication is only a 1 way for them. they want people to listen to them but when they have to listen, all hell breaks loose. So no point.

Its better to find something to fill your emotional well being

Anyway, we're just a PM a way if u wish to share more. but you are definitely not alone in this matter



QUOTE=fallen11;24213389]I believe its just a perimenopause issue but wife denies everything and i'm always the problem. - slowly sit down with her, show her the issue. talk calmly, dont scare her. Let her know it’s a normal thing and she's not crazy or what. Just need to accept it and manage it. Else everyone around her will be the ones suffering. better yet, bring her to consult a specialist on such women issues (not a mental health doctor! more like a gynecologist).

Manage the hormonal changes / swings. There are some foods she can try to help manage that. Foods rich in magnesium, Vitamin D, etc. Banana, nuts, dark chocolate. Buy for her to eat it daily and monitor her mood. See if it improves.

dont think you marry for sex only. No sex with wife, but u get to fuck young beautiful girls outside somemore with frequent business travel to escape from family haha. Its a very good deal.

anyways, whats the daily rate to book a russian escort to bring overseas?[/QUOTE][/QUOTE]

[Zetyalpha]

Originally Posted by cbkia222

hi bro!

you hit the nail on the head! I've been analysing the situation a lot and what you said its true! not about " depreciating asset", but literally sucking the life force out of you mentally and emotionally!

I am ok with giving life force " qi" through my dick, but not my dam soul or mental health!

what makes things worse ( i feel) now is that women now think they are as strong or if not better than men!

They use it to their advantage when necessary and revert back to the " i'm a women".

When we call them out for being what they truly are ( fucking life force vampires), then all the " women are weak and fragile, we men are pig" shit comes out.

i'm not a woman hater ( as crazy as it sounds, i get pure pleasure from pampering women both physically and mentally), but their constantly " changing" mindset is something i still cant solve.

Biggest joke, had a stupid ex gf, fucking hot sex ( more than 10 yrs ago), allowed me raw CIP ( my first cream pie ever), when drunk would literally try to rape me ( happened a few times and was fun), but total psycho bitch and came till a point i had ED from the stress she was putting me in. haha

broke up, one day met up, fucked a few times, tried to get back, said it was fuck for fun, and realised she was actually attached when she came to fuck me, hahaha..

women. cant stand them at times, cant live without them!

Bro again, thanks for your sharing!

You're welcome.

Just some quick suggestions:

They use it to their advantage when necessary and revert back to the " i'm a women".

= That's why they cannot be taken seriously.

all the " women are weak and fragile, we men are pig" shit comes out.

= ignore, this is classic female manipulation.

stupid ex gf, fucking hot sex ( more than 10 yrs ago), allowed me raw CIP ( my first cream pie ever), when drunk would literally try to rape me ( happened a few times and was fun), but total psycho bitch

= crazy / aggressive women tend to give the best sex. I totally agree. But seriously cannot commit to them for marriage. That's for sure. hahaha

[Pictionary]

Originally Posted by cbkia222

I was doing a shit load of illegal things ( telegram hitch , deliveries) just to make ends meet then

wife had troubles coping with wfh. i also had to help my old parents transition to the digital age suddenly ( u imagine la, dealing with old people). plus my kids were very young then.

i came out of covid pretty mentally messed up ( fat, stressed, all health problems) and no appreciation. But as a man/ husband/ father/ son, it is what it is and i got through it ( thank goodness for SBF)

Right now, after reading up about this perimenopause thingy, it will take a LOT of mental energy for her to admit these issues.

I am able to bring her through this, but i am not ( at this stage) , mentally strong to take anymore emotional abuse as i'm the dam pillar in the family ( children/ home/ parents). If my mind goes down, the whole family goes down as well

I've been changing my life style ( less fatty food, more exercise) to improve my health, and now improving my mental health, for my children.

for my wife, right now, all i can do is ensure she is comfortable at home physically ( no chores, no stress as a wife, ) and her main job now is her day job and her job as a mother ( children's studies), but i'm also part of my children's studies as well.

I'm not thinking so far ahead, so just enjoying myself now in SBF haha

Sar cheng a li, jin zhui a li boh submit! So difficult to suddenly transition from other dialect to the normal dialect. As usual, wasting time for me, however may be useful for you.

For love and marriage matters, i will without hestitation shall redirect you to peanadood, fallen11 and other smart aleck jesus one timer for many Q&A. You are not labelled as insanely crazy. However, how other naysayers shall label you in whatever sense is beyond my control. I dun want to advice much further bec ppl will anyhow scold me, i might as well mind myself better. As again, you seek huayingxiong for your much needed advice.

As for transitioning old parents to digital age so as to allow them to have less reliance, i did communicate in less hassle way in mixture of dialects and melayu except eng/cinna. So the intense frustation to guide them to use anything digital in a user-friendly way is nothing new to me. You have not spelled out whether your father/mother is from which dialect group! As for children, please try to be an example to communicate not in broken eng/cinna. Tough or what i do not know and i do not know where is your standard.

As for your wife, what languages she can or cannot speak, i do not know. Ask her to use skillsfuture, join whatever course she likes during weekend as you will step in as a househusband to relief her chores.

[dodgekenji]

Originally Posted by Khiampak

Grown-ups acting like kids in school.
You don't touch me, I don't touch you.
You don't smell my dick, I don't smell your pussy that kind of shit. HAHAHA.

Most times adults are just like kids when dealing with emotion especially sometimes you wanted so bad but not given. That’s why I am figuring out how to deal with my own thinking too. Hope eventually it will be alright, I hope so

[huayingxiong]

[QUOTE=dodgekenji;24246440]We talked about it b4 and then agreed


HI bro,

Let's face the reality. Women is another breed from us men. With age and time, things get worse.

Ask yourself, is it abt sex only or are u also looking at more between u and your wife.

Having had to face this prob in recent time, I get to know many women thru the apps. Divorce was a taboo before however, I realise it is so common nowadays after meeting so many of them. One of the grunt that I get to know from women is, they blame us the men from ignoring them. Like u said, if they don want to even talk to us, how to show them that we care. Conclusion, they wanted us to be understanding, understand their need as and when, and give console when they need one, siam far far when they are not in the mood 🤣

Yes, key to the relationship is communication and we are suppose to endure. So it all depends on how u value your marriage.

For me, I differentiate between lust (sex) and making love. I have fail to have a love making session for many many years liao. So I go to WL at times to satisfy my lust and devote my energy to sports when I need to release my extra energy. For the family, since I had not been appreciated, I can't do much and just let it be.

If u are trying to save the marriage, talk to her. Together seek professional help. U cannot and will not be able to resolve this by yourself. U need her cooperation to over come it. Of course, this is provided your partner is able to accept it. Mine, is stubborn like a bull, as I understand all the prob but she wouldn't admit, less on seeking abt help.

Wish u luck

[dodgekenji]

Hi bro, I am also doing some sport to get some energy and attention off from my sexless marriage. I do not know about women, but I felt that men need to make love so that they feel wanted or loved by women. When wife does not even want you to touch her then that means she is no longer interested in you. Let alone communicating to you. Maybe she looked down on me or simply feel that no need to do so much already since has a family.

I brought it up once that maybe we should get some helps. She told me off dont be silly and waste money and waste energy keep thinking about sex and relationship. After that time, I did not bring up.

Now, we seldom talk and communicate, she is always watching her phone and I just do the same too. I sleep on floor and child sleep on the bed with her. There was once I sept on the bed, but she kept using her phone and i find it akward that I pretend to be asleep.

Like I said, no one I can talk to except putting words here in the forum.

I also do not want how to make myself not to think so much where our marriage is going to end up.






[QUOTE=huayingxiong;24249541]

Originally Posted by dodgekenji

We talked about it b4 and then agreed


HI bro,

Let's face the reality. Women is another breed from us men. With age and time, things get worse.

Ask yourself, is it abt sex only or are u also looking at more between u and your wife.

Having had to face this prob in recent time, I get to know many women thru the apps. Divorce was a taboo before however, I realise it is so common nowadays after meeting so many of them. One of the grunt that I get to know from women is, they blame us the men from ignoring them. Like u said, if they don want to even talk to us, how to show them that we care. Conclusion, they wanted us to be understanding, understand their need as and when, and give console when they need one, siam far far when they are not in the mood 🤣

Yes, key to the relationship is communication and we are suppose to endure. So it all depends on how u value your marriage.

For me, I differentiate between lust (sex) and making love. I have fail to have a love making session for many many years liao. So I go to WL at times to satisfy my lust and devote my energy to sports when I need to release my extra energy. For the family, since I had not been appreciated, I can't do much and just let it be.

If u are trying to save the marriage, talk to her. Together seek professional help. U cannot and will not be able to resolve this by yourself. U need her cooperation to over come it. Of course, this is provided your partner is able to accept it. Mine, is stubborn like a bull, as I understand all the prob but she wouldn't admit, less on seeking abt help.

Wish u luck

[cbkia222]

Originally Posted by Zetyalpha

You're welcome.

Just some quick suggestions:

They use it to their advantage when necessary and revert back to the " i'm a women".

= That's why they cannot be taken seriously.

all the " women are weak and fragile, we men are pig" shit comes out.

= ignore, this is classic female manipulation.

stupid ex gf, fucking hot sex ( more than 10 yrs ago), allowed me raw CIP ( my first cream pie ever), when drunk would literally try to rape me ( happened a few times and was fun), but total psycho bitch

= crazy / aggressive women tend to give the best sex. I totally agree. But seriously cannot commit to them for marriage. That's for sure. hahaha

exactly bro

Anyway, it is what it is!

we SBF bros are here for support!

[cbkia222]

[QUOTE=dodgekenji;24249639]Hi bro, I am also doing some sport to get some energy and attention off from my sexless marriage. I do not know about women, but I felt that men need to make love so that they feel wanted or loved by women. When wife does not even want you to touch her then that means she is no longer interested in you. Let alone communicating to you. Maybe she looked down on me or simply feel that no need to do so much already since has a family.

I brought it up once that maybe we should get some helps. She told me off dont be silly and waste money and waste energy keep thinking about sex and relationship. After that time, I did not bring up.

Now, we seldom talk and communicate, she is always watching her phone and I just do the same too. I sleep on floor and child sleep on the bed with her. There was once I sept on the bed, but she kept using her phone and i find it akward that I pretend to be asleep.

Like I said, no one I can talk to except putting words here in the forum.

I also do not want how to make myself not to think so much where our marriage is going to end up.






Hi Bro, know that you are not alone here .

I dont even get a hug or a pat on the back from my wife . used to it.

as for sex, SBF has always been there for me, so even when i dont get it from my wife , its something that i can buy.

but its the emotional aspect ( i went through the gongtao period from ktv/ siam diu girl and that was painful), that i guess is lacking.

For me personally, i am throwing myself into work and also keeping myself fit ( focusing a lot on my mental health and spending money to keep my mind straight, and yes, FLs do help me keep my mind straight and its a worthwhile investment cos it fills up my soul).

sometimes i wonder, is the rest of my life going to be like this? this scares me...

[huayingxiong]

Bro Dodgekenji

There are many post in this thread that already talks abt women and their behaviour. What u going thru is not unique and happens to many.

Guess u don have children so to me, it will be a easier way to let go without thos part of the burden. However I do sense u love your wife that's being a reason u wanted to reunite and relight the spark.

For me, I have question myself did I ever love her in the first place when I decided to carry on with my next step. My relationship with my wife is not a usual one. Our relationship was build more on commitment rather than love from the very first day. Anyway, I have to move on that's how I get to what is best for me at my age. I can't say I did not have good sex in my younger days yet, I had know that she does not enjoy it as much as I do during those day, and is only now I see that it actually happens to many other women. So is not her sole prob. Is the nature of all women.

For now what I can say is, acceptance, moving on, enjoy the moment. For me, I always think I am a man with 1 leg inside the coffin, so why bothers so much any more.

I recall once there was this lady who told me, get a live. I start to think, by moving out of the house, live alone, is that being getting a life?

I am not rich, yet I had a pretty good life thus far. So, I can only tell myself, heaven is fair. I can't have everything and is not fair to give me all the best thing�� If I am to live this life without having a true love, then be it.

At this moment, maybe u can think abt your self esteem, how to look good.

I am bless with a youthful look. Even at mid 50s, I believe I attracts more attention from women now than before. I believe if u try to take yourself to the next level, u will be able to find life to be more enjoyable. Who knows when u have build up yourself, getting more attention from other women, your wife may get jealous and comes hunting back on u ��

Cheers