when i'm expecting

[JimCurry]

Originally Posted by kittymeow

Need some insights on how should I carry on with this.

Currently I'm expecting, both of us are excited and happy about this.

The thing is, I have always been a horny gal. I am always game to have it all day all night long and I think I have gotten even hornier now. I have always been the one initiating sex, sometimes he will want but most of the time, he will say he's tired.

I have caught him finding FLs and divorce was on the table before. Yet, I forgave him.
Recently found him looking at FLs site, can't help thinking that he can't fight the temptation again , plus seeing numbers that resembles the advertised number on the site, can't help doubting.

With all these rejections of sex and FLs site visiting, how can I not let my thoughts go wild?

So now what is the updated issue on this now?

[lalaboii]

Been reading some books regarding sex and relationship.
Just some pointer for you think to yourself
You don't have to post the answers here but I believe you know the answer best.

Did he always had this kind of lifestyle or it only occurred after you are expecting?
Is your relationship transparent on both sides.
Are you able to accept him for what he has done?
Have you addressed your concerns to him in a mature manner.
Is there any alternative solutions.

From what I see, you are concern about your longterm relationship with him and that is not wrong.
Usually when a man seeks an fl, it is a sign that he is not ready to start a family.
Could also be a temporary issue. He might be thinking to himself, "oh shit, in a few months all my freedom will be gone and he has a lot of responsibility. Better live these few months to the fullest.
I won't recommend keeping quiet and accepting it as it is not a healthy relationship especially if you are thinking about long term and family.
If sex is what he is looking for then why not engage at your discretion.
Maybe a threesome or a swing could not only be exciting but a double edge sword to all parties.
If y

[Rickey]

Originally Posted by kittymeow

I'm still at a loss. Would like to gather more 'info' first before jumping into conclusion.

Well, good to know that some bros actually is able to do that.

And the next qn will be:

After reading the FRs, if you pm whoever in the thread, there's a possibility(or should i say, that's the only possibility) of wanting to get the contact of the FL? Am I right to say that?

And once started with FLs, one can never look back?

Yes, believe so, sis...after reading abt the FL written abt n if he feels very interested, he will definitely PM the writer for the ctc...

But one can turn away frm FL in certain circumstances n so its not a 100% thingy..
1) the wife must be prepared to do watever it need to take, by all ways n means to pull him back to her.
2) Its burning a really big hole in his pocket...FLs are not cheap n unless u hv a deep pocket u can't sustain for long...
jus mho...

[nacal]

yes.. as a man that just reached 30 it's super hard for me to restrained myself from wanting to visit FLs after browsing the sites with the pictures. But i know it's hard but not impossible.

Maybe the trick is slowly cut down the frequency.. slowly slowly cut off.

I'm thinking.. what will a wise wife (not my wife definitely) do in this case..
- Maybe your hubby don need a nagger/cry baby. He needs a gatekeeper to cut down the frequency, if you can.. let him feel that you're on his side. (thats how i would like my wife/boss will do hehe). A gentle reminder each day might do the trick. hehe. Responsible men does feel guilty.. If your hubby does not even feel guilty or blames you for all the things.. pls seriously consider whether you wan to stay with him long term. Coz most likely he'll nv change, unless something really big hit him (e.g illness).

-My own 2 cents though.. Worst case is if you find another hubby, there's a chance you'll face the crossroad again. Like what another said, if you can accept that your hubby is still good but this is just his obsession.. you can help support him. It's your call to determine whether he's a jerk or just a temp obsession.

[kittymeow]

And what does it show when he actually came up with his sex drive is decreasing, not that horny and interested as before as the reason.. but everyday, yes, everyday he's visiting porn n FL sites.. even if its just to prevent further questioning, its unbelievable and insulting

Please share your views.. thank you..

[nacal]

what i believe is.. he's feeding his desire everyday by visiting these sites (at least that's how i experienced it).

Cutting down the frequency to visit these sites would help (i think).. or keeping him busy with hobby or with work/responsibilities would help too. Personally i think visiting porn sites is ok.. but no no for FL sites. Guys as guys(most guys).. would see a very attractive FL that they would lose all other senses except the mating one.

Let him know (communicate pls, no hinting or sms) that you are not happy with him visiting FL sites. See what's his reaction. And pls don talk to him while his eyes are blood shot with lust. His mouth will just go yes yes.. Again.. try to make him feel that you're on his side, not to scold him or put him down or make him feel like he's a beast.

It's a long and tough marathon.. work hard and good luck if you decide to run.

[PhariseesYeast]

Girl, have you read the stories posted here? What do you want to hear?

If your husband jerk off while visiting porn/fl sites, it's all right since you are pregnant. Even if you are not pregnant, it's still all right as long he is jerking off at home not fuxking around. You can even help him to jerk off to spice things up. If your husband is fuxking around, it's a serious issue. Seek professional help, go see a counselor for guidance.

[kgbkgb]

Originally Posted by kittymeow

And what does it show when he actually came up with his sex drive is decreasing, not that horny and interested as before as the reason.. but everyday, yes, everyday he's visiting porn n FL sites.. even if its just to prevent further questioning, its unbelievable and insulting

Please share your views.. thank you..

!st of all, hv u even spoken to him on this? Did u find out why he's surfing porn and withholding sex? Did u make known to him how this is affecting yr emotional well being. When u share yr emotions, chances are he will open up and u get a better picture of whats going on. Then u take it from there.. It may not be what ur thinking.

[weakling22]

Perhaps you can try watching alongside with him.. group activities tend to help increase the bond between the two of you, especially now since you have already discovered that he's watching it.. maybe you can tell him what you like and suggest watching together. Introducing something spicy into your relationship might just turn things around.. example, cuffs n blind folds while chanting in his ears porn is bad n naughty! ..my 2 cents worth!

[ChokDeeDee!]

Sex during pregnancy is ok, try something different with him. Women put on weight when they are expecting, they many not look as sexy as before, and some guys gets put off by that. That may be why he is visiting or attempting to visit FLs. On the other hand, some of us guys are just really high on sex drive and we want new experiences every now and then, its an instinct and its hard to change. You can stop them for a while but never for long.

[frivolous_ami]

TS,

The facts are clearly laid before you. Its what you choose to believe. Some may tell you to try believing. Others may say don't waste time.

You ask yourself this simple question.... have you already found out the answer for yourself? You probably have. Starting a thread on this forum is just to affirm (or double confirm) your answer.

There is one very likely possibility. You find it very tempting to continue and that you cannot do without him (like what they always show on Mediacorp dramas). But, you are holding back because you are worried that he will continue "eat out" after you confront and talk to him.

You also wonder if there is any solution to stop him from lying and "eating out". To answer this question, there is no solution.

To add, you can continue to try to trust him. However, you need to draw a line. Are you ready to trust a person who may not be honest? Are you also prepared to get "surprised" by what he did? You have the answers actually....

[kittymeow]

I do still try to look my best and I still dress sexily in some ways

I have always suggested to watch or play or having some fun and wild ideas to do with him but end up i was being seen as abnormal

frivolous_ami, I really have no idea thus i am here. And where is the line? day by day, it's pushing itself to the limits and I have no idea where and when will it stop

[nacal]

Originally Posted by kittymeow

I do still try to look my best and I still dress sexily in some ways

I have always suggested to watch or play or having some fun and wild ideas to do with him but end up i was being seen as abnormal

frivolous_ami, I really have no idea thus i am here. And where is the line? day by day, it's pushing itself to the limits and I have no idea where and when will it stop

kitty.. what i feel from your posts is you are very needy towards him. Feels to me your world will collapse if you don have him. What i can tell you is.. you will not die even if he leaves you. It is your own perception, own expectation of him that causes your grieve.

You will be very unhappy doing all these and expect him to reciprocate. It will not happen.

For now, breathe in... and breathe out.. do your everyday actions as per normal. Relax. Your main focus shld be your kid, not him. Worry for your child, not the relationship with him for this 10 mths. Being too stressful now is not good for the kid.

If you reached your limit, remember to post here or anywhere, or find a fren to let off your steam. You have to release your stress, whatever the way.

It's a complicated problem. Takes time, be patient. Your child i asking why is my mummy so sad..

[hereicomeagain]

it's bout how you are gonna view this whole thing, either accepting without asking him face-off, or just ask him face to face and see what's his story. and if u do have concrete proof, and he denies. it will just boils down to how much u loves him and wants him in your life.

One thing to note, no matter how much u love someone, there's no one that u can't live without, it's just how u choose to live your life.

guys have needs, but maybe not at the same frequency as your needs. finding a counselor might help too~

Originally Posted by kittymeow

Need some insights on how should I carry on with this.

Currently I'm expecting, both of us are excited and happy about this.

The thing is, I have always been a horny gal. I am always game to have it all day all night long and I think I have gotten even hornier now. I have always been the one initiating sex, sometimes he will want but most of the time, he will say he's tired.

I have caught him finding FLs and divorce was on the table before. Yet, I forgave him.
Recently found him looking at FLs site, can't help thinking that he can't fight the temptation again , plus seeing numbers that resembles the advertised number on the site, can't help doubting.

With all these rejections of sex and FLs site visiting, how can I not let my thoughts go wild?

[u12song]

TS. most probably.. he just see see look look..