Bro help! i screw up big time....

[yankim3]

bro, i am thinking one day she might do something or u might have thought she did something that make u so angry that u lay your arms on her and killed her in the process. did u thought of that? sometime its very difficult to control ones temper.

[milo_man]

BRO justwanadoit
I did a search on u n realise u not only slap ur ger but oso go out to fool ard. So much for ur character. I do not help man who slap ger . What i m willin to advise u is to see a doc for ur sickness

[soshiok]

bro justwanadoit,

sad to hear abt ur case. but u really shldn't slap a girl and 2nd time somemore. anyway, feel u're feeling very bad already so i won't rub it in.

but firstly, u must ask urself why did u do it? talk to her (if she's still willing to listen) abt why u did it. admit that u may have a anger mgmt problem. lastly, seek her support and go for some counseling.

since such things had already happened before ur marriage, i strongly suggest that u sort them out before officially tying the knot. all the best to u.

[darke]

[QUOTE=justwanadoit;1817879]Hi all bros,

bro... thing i would want to say is tat give her time to see ur improvement make... even if she had to call off the wedding plan. let her. time MIGHT heal but not totally. try to learn to endur if she is important to u. cos when u lost her u may not able to find someone like her again.

[best123]

wah...looks bad man.....

Bro justwanadoit,

What you have done is already done. Most importantly, u must realise that no matter what...............You will MUST NEVER do it again.

I am going to share some anger management tips with you and i hope you can apply them.

1) Always remember, the person who will be beside you whether you succeed or fail in life, is your wife. That is reason enough to check you temper.

2) Your wife will bring you kids and going through the process whether now or later is going to be a very stressful responsibility. The thought of bearing kids at the end of labour is a pain that even some men are incapable of handling.

3) She will shower her love upon your kids, your home, your family and especially you. So like i said keep your temper in check.

4) She will be your Soulmate in all the things you need to confide, no one can be more trustworthy than you wife who sleeps and feed you every day.

5) Always think of all the good moments that you and her had while in courtship........Think about why you wanted her in the very first place. This is the main booster for anger suppression.

6) You know she is the one but what can you do to make her FEEL that you are also the ONE for her. The journey do not end with a Marriage Cert, Bro.

7) Tell her and remind her that no matter what, you will never lift a finger on her EVER AGAIN. You will take up anything to improve and would spend your whole lifetime compensating this fault.

8) Tell her that you will LOVE her forever and will never allow anyone to hurt her as deep as you did cos you finally realise how important she is to you.

With this 8 verses, Pls don commit that act again. If you have to do something when you are angry, GO play GOLF. Hit it with all your might and let go of your anger in every shot. Jus get a second hand club which cost about 20 dollars and then go to the driving range and finish driving 100 balls.

Each ball that you hit, let it go with your anger. When you are back, tell her nicely that there be might some words that she said which trigger this emotion, You hope that she can put it nicely to you as you are trying to be as conditional as you can. Jus like you had promised her that you would behave. (YOu might suck at this game but You might achieve a Healthy Handicap. )

Bro, i hope this can help you further your relationship with her. Deep down, only you know whats the worth of this Gal.

Reconcile fast and be Good from now on. GO, Bro..........GO!

[ct75]

It might not be a bad thing that she and you are finished

She will always carry this stigma that you hit her... and in this modern age, no woman will tolerate it. Putting two of you together might be okay for a short while but sooner or later problems will surface due to this. She will remember you and may even use it against you.

If I am not wrong, in a divorce case, it can be a case for the judge to award more alimony. In short you can be made to look like a monster that deserves his just desserts. And judges in Singapore or globally for that matter do not take kindly to men who hammer women.

I would say let it go.

[lacoruna69]

It seemed that you flare up over small issues. Maybe both of you should examine the relationship again. Both of you are planning to get married already. I thought you should be more tolerant..........Seek counselling, Bro.

[no_faith]

i have similiar situation but not getting marry yet.
y i raise my arm, threatened to slap her or what so ever.
finally she break up wif me, i have tis regrets tat could never forget. i recall the matter...

we let our emotions control our mind. we wanna vent it out so we took our gal as the target. she loves u but trust me u not even slap her b4, u sumtimes also raise ur voice or use harsh words or juz impatient on sumting so wanna vent on her even u noe she is not at fault at all. y? ego? i tink maybe.
she trust you, put her happiness in your hand but u juz giving her phobia and nightmare.
my x-gf ever asked y i doing tis to her where she loves me so much? all these yrs i have been asking myself too. if i have noe the answer earlier, she would not have left me. i deserved it. i did not cherish her when she is ard. do not follow my footstep.

1-make a present with your hands. she will feel it of your effort. juz by buying wun let her feel.
2-bring back the gd old memories. e.g plc u both met/how u woo her at the first plc.
3-create a simple, romatic home dinner. u cook the dinner and make her like a princess
4-ego must keep away
5-curb your temper, emotions.

its sounds like a patch up method. but u nvr noe.
she has gave u one, two chances already, i believe this is the last chance, there will be no third chance. cherish it like tis is the last day of earth. when she ard, you dun cherish her, when she left you, dun you regret. you create the problem, you have to solve it.
tis is my advice from my regrets.


peace

[Ah he]

Bro justwanando, I am damn sure there are some HIDDEN DEATILs you did not reveal out . I think you should let us know . What she did to you ? I suggest u tell us the whole story. If you really need help u have to tell us . I believe there are many kind souls here willing to help you. My friend case is smillar with you. After that we found out his GF scolded his mother infornt of the relatives NBCB...zhor dai chi bo zhor ho ho..
Slap or Hamtam ?

[ekemono]

I feel no matter wat happens, we should not resort to voilence when it comes to ladies.

Not that I am a big gentleman, but they can easily apply for Personal Protection Order(more easier than you think, really) without spending big money.
Worse if those got abit of money and cannot swallow the anger, file lawsuit. The judge sure side the weaker sex like as if its thier own sister/daughter.

This is Sillypore.

[canthaveenuf]

Bro,

Sorry to hear about your situation. But I think there is still hope yet. Don’t despair. The fact that she is still communicating with you means the relationship is still alive and she still loves you and still treasures what you guys have. Just have to keep working on it. Every relationship has its ups and downs, just learn from it.

Personally, I don’t like man who hit women. I too don’t have a very good temper, but must know the limit. Hitting a woman is a No-No no matter how jia-lat is the case.

The fact that you recognize you have a problem means that you are already on the way to resolving it. It takes courage to admit it and do something about it. Yes, do go for the course if it will benefit you.

As to how and what you can do to win back her trust – only you know becos only you know what will melt her heart. But whatever you do, do it sincerely because women are very sensitive to this. If she can sense any fakeness in any move you make, you are done. So, do it for the right reason and do it with your heart.

Another thing maybe you might want to give some thoughts to – find out what is the exact trigger that caused you to flip (twice). Could it be something your GF did/said? And if this is the real trigger, then, maybe you may want to have a heart-to-heart talk with her and explain to her the impact of her words/actions on you and find some middle-ground. The process may be painful, but it is a worthwhile investment for the future.

Anyway, just my 2 cents. Bro, hope you can work things out well with your GF.

Cheers

[Toyota Honda]

Let me digress abit. Some bros here says that girls in this mondern days are intolerant of such acts.. I would rather put it this way... Girls in this modern society are now intolerant of being 'mistreated' with ungentlemenly behaviours..

It has come to almost a boiling point where they feel so high and full of themselves just because:
1) They are higher educated than they were before.
2) They are more affluent whether tyhey succeed themselves or siply because their parents are rich.
3) Peer pressure.
4) Too many chee hongs spoiling market.

We men, on the other hand, are getting ourselves 'eaten' up and having to give in to them,.. Fearing them for fear of losing them..

Why is this happening?

I am not asking that girls should be tolerant of we guys' unruly behaviours.. But asking themn to be more understanding and trust..

If mutual understanding and trust is there, our brother wouldn't be so afraiod of losing her or things like PPo against him.

If so, whats the point..
I am sorry about saying all these to make things worse. But then again, its my 2cts worth...

[ilovesammyboy]

why don't you find someone else who doesn't make you slap her?
u will bound to right the correct one.
A called-off-marriage is better than a failed marriage.

[wanderer23]

Originally Posted by justwanadoit

thanks bro. but i think i will consider counselling after her decision to accept me back or not.

but I still cannot imagine I am one of those wife beaters that newspapers talk about, how can it be? Shucks....is my fate sealed? i dun wanna to be wife beater leh.wtf. oh man...really feel like...sigh

First step to recovery is admitting that you have an anger problem. try signing up for an anger management class